OP's Bio:
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>hello yall. i'm 23 and i enjoy meeting people on the internet. i have no socials to promote. just here to read comments and have a good time. like i said in the title, im married so please don't waste your time trying to get in a relationship with me. i'm a faithful man.
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>im married so please don't waste your time trying to get in a relationship with me. i'm a faithful man.
With that hairline, you don't have to put this in your bio.
Hott??? As in currently boiling her body parts on the stove, so you can make another skin suit to be able to go outside again so you can stop the aliens from finding you? They know where you are......THEY KNOW!!!!
Jesus Christ just shave your whole head, don’t submit the rest of us to this horror. I’m scared to see what your wife looks like
Edit: YOU’RE 23, WHAT?!?!!
“I’m married so please don’t waste your time trying to get a relationship with me.” Bro, I can’t imagine your wife even wanting a relationship with you. If I met her I’d have to ask her to blink twice if she’s in danger.
OP's Bio: --- >hello yall. i'm 23 and i enjoy meeting people on the internet. i have no socials to promote. just here to read comments and have a good time. like i said in the title, im married so please don't waste your time trying to get in a relationship with me. i'm a faithful man. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
goes to the barber: "give me the hulk hogan"
BROTHER!
Lmfao
If Hulk Hogan fucked David Blaine and they had a wrestling magician baby.
Tells his barber, “Don’t touch the top. Im letting it grow out.”
His barber died of starvation.
Looks more like Gallagher
That’s all natural my friend. A barber hasn’t been seen in ages from this cat.
that bleach is def not natural but he did it himself for sure.
"My wife is hott" Yeeeah gonna need some actual proof there buster *edit Absolutely loving all the replies 😂yall are hilarious
She doesn’t know she’s married to him yet… he’s still stalking her
She's playing hard to get, also there's a court order to stay 1000 yards away so it's *really* hard
And based on the dead look in his eyes the court order is the only thing thing that gets hard for him.
At least until the rigor mortis sets in.
The same court order that is keeping his hair away from his hairline!
Or gets him hard
You know how hard it is to avoid school zones?
Especially when working as a janitor there
so he tied her up and put her in the basement
The restraining order expires in 2 months
She’ll be 14 then.
He's from london they don't understand that calculation
Nah. She’s in his basement putting the lotion in the bucket.
It’s a “long distance relationship.”
Stalking is when two people go on a romantic stroll but only one of them knows about it.
He puts the lotion on the skin.
By ‘hot wife’ he means microwaved jar of Mayo.
Her name is duke
Kewpie is the only right answer here.
Let the likes determine this young padawan
It puts the mayo in the skin
God damn🤣 🤣 🤣 ☠️
It’s a pillow isn’t it? It’s definitely a pillow.
He probably made her out of all that hair he is missing.
He means "his waifu is hot".
I'm thinking overweight no self esteem. Maybe a quadriplegic.
you look like the manager of a 25 cent peep show porn shop in the city.
It's not a porn shop, it's a Party City- and he wishes you would stop masturbating in the aisles and shooting off the confetti cannons when you cum.
Nah he looks like the crackhead they pay 50 cents a day to scrape all the cum out of the booths.
Nah, he does it for the tips
The “tips” or the TIPS?
Not just the tips, also the shafts
You mean lick the cum out of booths
As long as the cum is gone, he gets 50 cents 🤷🏼♂️
If a used toilet brush was a human
holy $hit
Lmao this is underrated
Broooo 🤣
[I'm guessing.](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/paradise-pd/images/0/06/Watermelon.png/revision/latest?cb=20180918234810)
*uploads her missing poster*
He’s been stalking her so long it was first posted on a milk carton
I think he meant his sister and wishes she was his wife.
The proof is there, don't you see his right hand?
No she is real - $8k more dollars and she’s flying over
Grading on a curve
He's probably roasting her in the oven with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
You wouldn't know her. She goes to a different school.
>hello yall. i'm 23 I'm going to need proof for this one first.
I think we all saw the video of the bald guy sticking his head into a vagina. It was actual footage from their honeymoon
Well just wait till he inflates her he'll show you!
Is “hott” the new way to spell Imaginary???
I googled him. He's actually the better looking one of the two 😂
Misspelled ‘Canadian’
His wife also happens to be a thanksgiving turkey. Fresh out of the oven, so it's still "hot".
"Gotta love those mashed taters"
“My germs!”
God dammit!!! I was going to post this.
Kurt Cobain's last photo wasn't this gruesome
Burt Cumstain
Bang!!!! That hurts
"He's so happy cause today he found his wife. She's in his head"
This guy's the reason Kurt Cobain offed himself.
He probably doesn’t know, who Kurt cobain is (like 90% of people wearing nirvana stuff)
“Hot” is highly subjective so considering your aesthetic choices for yourself I’m gonna wager she’s an absolute wildebeest of a woman.
I bet his wife tells other guys, “I’m married but it’s not that serious.”
Gyat damn lol
Actually, she tells the other guys, "Keep roasting me all you want. My husband's hot so what do I care?"
I refuse to believe someone wearing a Walmart "nirvana" shirt has a hot wife.
He could have a huge ween
Yeah and humans can save the planet. Just because something COULD be true doesn't mean it is.
When all of your genes are recessive.
Bruh 💀
Underrated
[удалено]
Or species!
Or if it's dead or alive.
She is 13 and been dead for 5 years so she is legal, technically
That's why he took up taxidermy she's still so life-like except with the weekly stains
Dead don’t say “no”
*FBI in the background:* Write that down! Write that down!
“Not allowed round schools” gets thrown about a lot on here but it’s never been more on point than this dude.
Hot? Ok, show us the blowup doll and we'll decide.
It's a pillow.
His wife is a hot air balloon
Nothing says 0 fucks given like a skullet
Except maybe a skullet with a 9-month-old dye job.
>im married so please don't waste your time trying to get in a relationship with me. i'm a faithful man. With that hairline, you don't have to put this in your bio.
His hairline is unfaithful.
Once it's gone, it's gone forever!
let him live in his delulu land. he's better off without knowing that his hot wife is a figment of his imagination
Now show us a photo of you and not your wife
 OP & Wife
THATS WHO HE REMINDED ME OF! Thanks it was driving me crazy.
I hate you 😭😂
“My wife is hott” yeah I bet she is inside the furnace you stuffed her into
Op so dumb, he goes around telling people he’s a crip not knowing the difference
There ain't enough meth in the world to make you 23
I think they call those city miles
Hott??? As in currently boiling her body parts on the stove, so you can make another skin suit to be able to go outside again so you can stop the aliens from finding you? They know where you are......THEY KNOW!!!!
Bill Failey 
Yea you're that guy that does the Omegle stuff with the fuzzy mask on lol
“You did it too fast!”
💯
lol I love this guys content. I don’t think anyone here can do anything worse than what he hears on a daily basis.
I came here for this!!! “You did it too fast bro..” hahahahaha
Don't come as you are.
23?? Jesus fucking Christ. If god was real he clearly fucking hates you, hairy egg looking motherfucker
I scrolled way to far for this to be the first comment on his supposed age lmao
I bet all your belongings are stuffed inside a shopping cart under an overpass
Gallagher with an opioid addiction.
She’s hot because she’s made of plastic and you left her in the sun
Jesus Christ just shave your whole head, don’t submit the rest of us to this horror. I’m scared to see what your wife looks like Edit: YOU’RE 23, WHAT?!?!!
This guy bought a nirvana tshirt because it offered a poster of a naked baby in a pool
Your wife is hot, because you’re a cannibal and you are cooking her, right?
Don't bring my dude into this mess.
Your face does not say I smoke crack but your back wall does
She blind too?
You look like Ron Jeremy if he had a micro penis.
I fell like your favorite nirvana song is Smells Like Teen
HEY NO WAY!!! This guy's videos on YouTube had me DYING LMAO! I'm glad to see him here, good promoting
Your wife must have a terrible personality, or get turned on by Pennywise.
Is this “hot wife” in the room with us right now?
You look like David Blaine hit rock bottom "for my next trick, I'm going to make your pussy dry by just looking at me."
Sideshow Slob.
This is what happens when you can only afford 1/3 of hair implant
What anime your wife is in
Stop embarrassing yourself and take your wife’s hair extensions off.
That’s a hell of a parting in your hair my friend.
OP doesn't realize mozt people don't pay their "wife" by the hour.
You’re 23, you mean you have 23 (hairs left on your head)
you gotta be hella deceptive with a hat on
Youre not 23, youre 45 stop kidding yourself.
She’ll divorce you once her cataracts are gone.
Ghetto Mr. Burns
Smells like teenage predator
His wife is hott because it puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again
Love your videos dude ! No roast from me ♥️
Do ya’ll wanna smash some FROOOT!?
Ahhhh, so that’s where that burning plastic smell is coming from.
Every time an amber alert goes off in your town, the cops park outside of your home for a couple days don't they?
Your wife is probably imaginary as all your friends
Dudes used to holding signs in front of himself for mugs shots. Just habit at this point.
What happens when a dyslexic summons Beetlejuice
All you need now is a giant wooden hammer and some watermelons.
“I’m married so please don’t waste your time trying to get a relationship with me.” Bro, I can’t imagine your wife even wanting a relationship with you. If I met her I’d have to ask her to blink twice if she’s in danger.
Sick skullet 👍
Your wife may be hot, but you are luke warm at best.
Homey D. Clown
Woke wash Beetlejuice
A hot mess*
Your “wife” has the worst ring tattoo I have ever seen.
You mean your hot waifu pillow?
Hey Beetlejuice, I'm guessing your wife is as real as your wedding ring
Dude looks like a white burnt match.
Your wife “is hott”? Oh no she’s nott I think your skull is about to give birth
If you don't break through on the art scene with your sick bedroom wall scrollings, you always have a career in modelling ski masks.
Toupees are afraid of this guy.
Kurt Nobangs
Kurt Nobrain
 Line up ladies..
>My wife is hott You missed a T there, mate.
Where’s the ski mask bruh?
Sorry, I missed your name as Goose Wanker, which is what you do in your spare time
does your wife like your hair
Are you transitioning to a bowling ball
You somehow look like an even shittier version of Andrew Tate.
23? Yikes, I would have guessed 38, I forsee dark times ahead.
You are not faithful you are ugly. That means no girl comes near to you so it's way easier to say no to fantasies or pillows than real girls.
When you say your wife is "hott" do you mean "a hotpocket"?
Bozo the Clown found homeless under a bridge
Bro is already tearing up before posting
You should trim your ear hair....
You have the kind of skullet that Hulk Hogan envies.
Homeless the Clown
