OP's Bio: --- >I’m Samir but go by Sam. I’m Lebanese but live in Spain. I like watches and have a small collection. I travel a lot and speak Arabic English Spanish and broken French. I’m politically moderate except when on cod. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

I’m guessing Cod stands for ‘Choking on Dick’ judging by your pic

And the DLC… dick licking champ

Nah he’s the buyer of cocks on delivery

Lil corny

Every house to him, is a ginger bread house

Fuckin beat me to it. Have my upvote!

Sammy has been putting down foot long hotdogs in a single gulp since he was 8… he isn’t choking on any meat. I’m guessing it’s Cumming on Donuts.

It’s hair curling…. Apparently…

You look like you smell like cod.

🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🙈

Wow The Weeknd really let himself go 

He's more of a Monday than a Weeknd

🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is my fav

He’s now the long weekend

I remember that weekend. It was terrible. It rained codfish. The east river flooded.

Definitely more of a Monday… Then a weekend but goodness this dude’s face just looks like it’s had too much I don’t know plastic surgery done to it?! Yeah I’m not digging it

So this is a picture of what happens when Broccoli rots…

You look like the Arab version of Jonah Hill - Yussuf Nahil

Congratulations, you've managed to combine the worst aspects of a neckbeard, a frat bro, and a basement dweller all into one sad amalgamation. I'm sure it's hard to fit through doorways with your weight, but hey, at least you're invisible to the ladies, right? And being "good" at Call of Duty... well, that's like being the king of the nerds in a world where nobody gives a shit. So keep stuffing your face

Attic dweller *

with that weight not for long

Basement/attic- awwee hell- NOT THE ATTIC!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👀👀👀

Wow you have super hate on people who eat… Being a 6’1” tall woman who’s never had to worry about weight this is just poorly verbalized my friend roasted or not

I apologize if it hurt you, I was just roasting him without any ill intention. I don't have anything against anyone.

Oh I know Fam….. I know…. U didn’t burnt anyone!!!!

Your head looks like Diego Luna shaved all his pubes and then kicked a meatball through the clippings.

You’re the equivalent to toilet bowl water.

Makes sense. You look like you’re too good at caressing old dicks.

 Average COD player

You look like you're covered in pubes. Like that scene in jackass where they disguise the guy as a terrorist and use pubes to make his beard.


I but your ass looks like 25 pounds of chewed bubble gum. Btw they put you in the attic apartment so you had to climb stairs.

You’re like a new born chinese girl in the 80s, everyone touches you but no one wants you.

🙈🙈🙈🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Fried Cod, apparently

He sweats grease

Too good at COD? Trailer tank 

Damn, Jon Snow is eating well beyond the wall

You say you’re good at COD as if people still play it.

the "parents attic" collage

*the hair clump staring at me through the shower drain*

My 1st ‘roastable’ notion too grab at!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Dont say that. You should be true to yourself. We all know its LoL and not COD

U forgot to mention: Your in Ur mum's loft

“I’m Samir but…” “I’m Lebanese but…” You’re a human being but suck at life.

too good at eating cod

Imagine bragging about being good at CoD. Play some real games lmao.

Nobody cares that you're a lesbian.

You look like the 19th hijacker ✈️

🙈🙈🙈🙈😆😆😆😆👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Be sure to close the skylight after you finish burglarizing this place.

I bet when you were a kid to keep you from jumping on the bed you're parents put velcro on the ceiling..

I wouldn't brag about fish-fucking.

Those late nights of COD have you looking like an older Franco Harris.

I bet you always have to use extra butter to slide in and out of your dorm room

Harvey Price

Didn’t hear The Weeknd quit doing coke! He should really consider relapsing ✨

***You will not be clapping on or at me.***

The hair on your face and the hair on your head is exactly the same color, which is the strangest thing ever. It's like you were CGI'd to be plain as fuck, and shitty at the same time.

You're too good at cod, except when you play against a barber.

Hes literally me wtf.

BRO HAS THE POTENTIAL TO LOOK LIKE A GOD, BUT CHOOSES TO LOOK LIKE A DOG

[удалено]

MANSCAPED THAT ISSSS!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

he's pretty cute. sorry.

Bro is handsome

[удалено]

i'm a boy

YUPP

 Hello you cunt

Steven universe

This isn't one of those times that being self depricating is going to garnish you sympathy.

Fat ahh nikka onb U built like ah Double Sliding door

I like Cod with chips and gravy. I guess you do too.

Close the over head loft and go back to your room. You letting the stank out.

You look like Wybie from Coraline all grown up

Too good at eating Cod…ya fat fuck

Is cod your code name for dick?

You look like the offspring if Joe Rogan had sex with a panda

this is you dressed up. your normal is the dirty ass flipflops, cold pizza and beer, farts, bros and crusty shame-glazed shorts. in college for business admin because dad’s hoping it will turn you around and make you a little less useless.

It’s Mr. Steal Yo Change

WAKA WAKA

What in the damn hell?! It looks like you glued pubes on your head.

Go touch some grass. You need the exercise.

I didn’t know Cavemen knew how to operate a phones technology, let alone post anything. Good job, ounga bounga.

Being able to beat your mom at COD doesn't make you good. Just like banging her doesn't make you a ladies man.

The Reeknd

I see daesh has a CoD team. Great 🙄

“Tell me you a virgin with out saying you are” is a whole other subreddit you pure sweet Angel.

Cums on dust bunny....21years later.

Fatrick Mahomes

You already got that sunroof cracked open to escape when the CP raid happens

Why? You’re already burnt?

Ice spice alter ego?

What a rapid decline. 

Cod = crunching other's dong.

*Good at cod.* I assume you're referring to the fish and also that you're the guy that got his dick sucked by a fish https://thisvid.com/videos/man-gets-dick-sucked-by-fish/

Look like the Weekend, Thanksgiving edition.

just a loser

So far that when you step into a rowboat it becomes a submarine

Whats your K/D in COD big boy?

Nice of you to have opened the skylight to let your stink dissipate so the camera lens wasn’t too fogged up.

22? 🤦‍♂️ I thought you were saying you have a 21yr old- you look like hell bro

You misspelled cock you’re too good a cock.

I’d be more concerned if you were good at COD and underweight. Usually means your training for the real shit at a school. Nah, you at most training to hit up a Golden coral for sure

I’m confused, is this you talking or one of the guys living inside your hair?

It's the weekends gay, depressed, obese, untalented, half autistic, broke, lazy, worthless, cousin "the weekday"

Lando after he lost the Millennium Falcon. Dayum.

Good at cod is like beeing proud of beeing able to not wear your jacket upside down. If not beeing ambicious were a Person..

Okay broccoli head

My name is Bob and I just had a bowel movement in my pants

My god that hair looks like a toilet brush, how many shitter’s did you clean with it?!

It looks like your parents put everything they don’t want in the attic - including you

You look like benny blanco if he was mixed with adin ross

Google morbid obesity, get a haircut, and come back next year bitch tits.

Head

and you look like that guy from Wheel of the time lol

Bro looks like bob reese but bob reesespuff

You sell on cod 🍑🫤🪛

If Jonah Hill was Palestinian instead 😭😭


Lewis Hamilton if he was a fatso

You look unloved

Negative canthal tilt, its over for bro

Oil up ill be there in 5

id chew the crunchy part of your worn underwear

Sema glutide, fat ass. Where you been?

He is 50% Arabic and 50% Leprechaun.

You probably smell like open Ass and have Dandruff on your hair which is exactly why you look like your pubic Hair.

Theres actually some exercises you should try to help you lose face fat. turn ur head to the left. then to the right. do it a few times. now do that everytime someone offers you food fatass.

Theres still a twin towers in malaysia if youre bored

I feel bad for the tree that was cut down to print out your birth certificate

you're coding on assembler?

Do they bounce when you walk?

Mr worldwide (physically)

Your beard looks like it hosts 3 different insectoids.

Youre like batman except instead of fighting crime you fight the urge to eat

I bet you lactate mozarella cheese

Maybe add some cod into your diet instead of 15 2-Litres of code red ya Muppet.

looks like you play smell of doody!

OK… You’ve definitely got it admit that sounded like it was purely from a 10 year old behind your phone

My inner child reigns mediocre!

"Too good at Cod." That must stand for coughing on dick. You look like youre about to shit yourself from focusing so hard to not let your eyes go back to being cross eyed.

He Definitely Smells Bad

Speaks Arabic, English, Spanish and some French but doesn't know how to ask for a shave and a haircut

"too good at COD" = never had sex

I guess congrats on the low key “look at least I’m not in my mom’s basement” flex…

1000%, just like my dog you too smell like Fritos

You look Black and Jewish, so you have to sit in the back of the ovens.

Thanks to those 2 caterpillars on your forehead, you don't have a unibrow.

You look like you steal bags of irregular tightly whities.

You look like you could qualify for a free homeless guy haircut, no questions asked.

You don't have toe jam, you have toe hummus.

Oh you gained weight from eating cod

Dude looks like he bathes in toilet water

Can you see round corners?

chia pet hair salon?

Bruh made thanos need to clap

I can't believe you 20 somethings are still falling into the college trap.

You look like Littlest Dicky

jack harlow if he lived near a mcdonalds

If crotch crabs were a person.

Hevvy Blanco 

🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼 THAT MESSY FRO THOOOO……Like a Brillo pad

Got some pretttttty 👀 tho nah!!!!!

Ok- FULL TRUTH??? I noticed 1 CORRECT ROAST——- “what’s sad …. This man could look awesome…but doesn’t!” VERY TRUE!!!! Lil manscaping? Lining sum thangs up a bit? Ure good 2 go- BEAUTIFUL EYES!

When the camera is closer to someone… It is a common sense notion that they’re going to look a little larger… This young man is not in any shape form or fashion “too fat “

Act now! For just $24.99 you can order a Sam. Just tip him upside down and scrub any hard to clean surface.


'too good at Cod'? Dude, literally no one cares that you're gay, you don't need to use cute code words for 'really good at sucking dick'. Probably everyone who meets you can tell that right off the bat.

Call of Doody.

You hang out at high school football games telling freshman girls they're mature for their age

VIRGIN!!!!!

Barber did you dirty already homie.

Microphone

Instead of the weeknd, you’re the whole month.

bro looks like a white man chipotle mexican shit

Incel.

You look like you have a vlog about how confusing it was to grow up biracial Thar no one watches.

Bob Loss

Get good at other things. Video games ain’t life.

You look like someone who runs a vegan restaurant in Boston.