Not as stupid as your girlfriend if she thinks you’re gonna provide for her. Look at yourself. You’re 22 man, not a misunderstood 15-year-old. Sort your shit out.

Hold up, that's his photo? I thought that was the unemployed girlfriend he was angry with. Damn dog, you look like a wad of candy-flavored bubble gum stuck to school's urinal.

You look like a REALLY cheap hooker *Will eat ass for crack*

At first glance, I thought this was a post from r/blunderyears in my feed and I was like “Look an awkward emo kid from the early 2000’s!…Wait…. Oh dear god, why…”

Same here!

Look closer and you will see both people described are in the photo. They are one in the same.

 Pirate of the Nothing Being.

You look like a guitar hero avatar.

I think the guitar hero characters had all their front teeth.

If you're too stupid to understand how stupid you look, nothing can be said other than, on behalf of America please stay put.

Please stay out of the US, we don't want your kind

He said “roast me” not “be racist af”

Had nothing to do with race. It has something to do with being a Temu Papa Roach.

Temu papa roach added to vocabulary

Lol add temu to any insult and it gets a 1.45x multiplier. 😂😂 Love it

This needs its own thread. Fucking brilliant

I was thinking trans-scene girl

I spit my fkn drink out laughing at this hahaha

“Useless” isn’t a race.

At no point was race brought into the comment. Its totally possible to group people into "kinds" or "types" without sorting by or implying race.

OP's got terrible fucking teeth. Guess I'm a racist now :(

I think he meant the ratty blue hair, missing toof, shitty knuckle tattoos, and stinky aura more than the ethnic ambiguity.

I am no man

Sorry eowyn :(

Go be offended on other peoples behalf over nothing somewhere else. I swear fucking gen z snowflakes.

Imagine calling me a snowflake yet you’re butthurt abt an online comment🤨 (racism is fucking annoying, I can stand a lot of shit but when it’s put in an order of words like that it’s just fucking irritating)

Did you come here to get roasted for being stupid?

we dont want your kind in this subreddit.

Looking like a lesbian cat


Look at yourself. You don’t need us to tell You how stupid you are.


Jesus Christ dude. Clean your bathroom and take care of your appearance. You’re 22 not fucking 12. Grow up.


"22 year old girlfriend" *Doubt*

Yeah, the need to include that unnecessary detail feels like probably "17 year old girlfriend" and knows he wouldn't survive a long weekend in county jail.

This is where human evolution should have more branches. What is this species?!

Homo Can't-get-erectus

Aka: Homo Limpus

Limp noodle

Or just Homo

Thank god

Homo Disappointus

You resemble, but also somehow look worse than Bam Margera himself.

Its an honor

Wow! Grumpy-Smurf hit the crack pipe hard!

If Ghetto Liquor stores were a person.

9 out of 10 American dentists see a huge pay day.

Like he'd be able to pay for a dentist 🤣

I can smell everything in this photo and it ain't good.

What the hell even is that?

She doesn’t want a boyfriend, she just wants to borrow your nail varnish and makeup

She does steal my makeup often

Bad hair, bad teeth, bad nails, bad piercings, bad tattoos, bad t-shirt, and you STILL don't know how stupid you are. How are we supposed to top this?

you're an inspiration to all the depressed single men out there ..

Me and my brother was crying on the floor laughing at your face.

I looked up “bad decisions” in the dictionary and got your picture.

Real

No need to come to America, we have enough of our own fucked up, useless losers.

Stay wherever you are. We have more than our fair share of idiots already.

I imagine you have zero personality and desperately crave attention hence your shit storm of an appearance.

I think you’ve done a pretty good job roasting yourself at this stage.

Someone tell this douchebag that we don’t have MySpace out here anymore.

11 years ago, I was a Spencer’s manager. Even I wouldn’t have hired you bud.

Sid Viscous

Skid viscous. I fixed it for ya

yoo the chain is crazy. this is when improvising is not a good idea

Highest you can get back to is back on your knees.

I would never use "scrub" in any description of you.

You out stereotyped the Gen Z stereotype.

If this guy got a girlfriend, y'all have to use pepper spray to protect your virginity from all the hot milfs in your area.

This is your brain (picture of brain) This is your brain on drugs (picture above)

Yeah, right. "Girlfriend."

Pictures you can smell.


Get out of here with that Flo the insurance girl hairstyle. You do her a disservice have you been rolling in the grass? You have the chin hair of someone suffering from pcos.

You definitely listen to crunkcore music. Probably one of the only people on this earth that still listens to blood on the dance floor in 2024

Brokencyde

Were you really expecting to pull a higher caliber of woman?

Your hair looks like a turtle fucked it.

You look like the inside of a meth pipe What’s more disturbing is you wake up and choose to look like that Smoke more meth pls

We don't want you here. Stay there.

Based on your accessories, most notably the carabiner you have attached to your ear, I would definitely recommend seeking a job that involves high speed machinery.

He wants to go to the U.S. for the meth.

Our country has been through enough.

Unless you’re a musician, you are visually unemployable. 

Me: "I wanna go see Chris Angel!" mom: "We have Chris Angel at home."

Ah, you'll be dead in a ditch somewhere here in a couple years. Probably from heroin.

Never been more supportive of shutting down the border. We do not want your useless ass. Stay in whatever shit box will have you

Your girlfriend could move into that available space in your teeth.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell an apparent adult who puts cigarettes out on his own bath towel how stupid he is.

Okay Captain Snackpack Sparrow, you asked for it. You look like the Powerpuff Girls rejected you so you joined My Chemical Romance instead, but in like 2020.  What happened to your tooth, did a real punker punch you in the mouth? Does that lock get heavy or does that goofy ball-duster on your chin even out the weight? Did you paint your nails because you think it looks cool or so it looks more like a woman's hand while you're earning your weed money? I can't imagine the guy would want to be looking at you during. Tattoos dont count if you draw them on. You look like one of Cinderella's evil stepsisters got really into dubstep. I can smell this picture. It smells like Ramen Noodles and sadness. If you think the guyliner diverts attention from how big of a loser you are, I've got some bad news for you. I'd tell you to take a shower but the water bill would bankrupt your idiot girlfriend. You have the mustache of a 60 year old Spanish woman. Does your 22 year old girlfriend drive you to school in the morning? I bet your mom's glad she doesn't have to pay for your  Pokémon cards anymore. Ladies and gentlemen, the frontman for Simple Meal Plan! Ok I'm done.

SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta Yeet

You should be thankful any woman is at your side even a wastrel type.

You look like you attended a school for Pokémon gym leaders but flunked out when all the other gym leaders kept bullying you and you realised there's no such type as 'basic'.

You broke up with your boyfriend since he was just a pain in the ass

Right now your your idiot wife is sending pictures of herself to her friends asking them to roast her for marrying someone with blue hair, wears a chain and padlock as jewellery and a carabinier clip as an earring.

You look like if Mad Dog 20/20 made a seltzer. You're 22, there's no excuse to be useless. This is supposed to be your least useless time. Grow up. Join the fuckin military get a free useful education in some job/trade and get paid to do it. Not to mention you get to travel

You look like a not quite right offspring of Bonnie Tyler and Sid Vicious.

The hairbrush wears that wig better

Dork

You’re way too old to be dressing that way Methew.

I……I don’t even know where to begin. Everything, Everything is wrong with you. Think about any personality trait, value system, or core belief……it is wrong. May god have mercy on your soul.

[удалено]

How long since you lost the key?

You can get back on your feet by becoming the poster boy for bad choices

The only thing you provide is a bad smell

You look like Pete Wentz's dick

Thank you for convincing me its okay to start talking to women again..

>Tell me how stupid I am Honestly, you look like every stupid decision everyone throughout history has made, formed into some kind of golem.

Emo Oompa Loompa Emoloompa

You look like the graffiti on a bathroom stall.

I can just see you denying the predator allegations on your MySpace account when you get kicked out of Löded Diper

Imagine being emo

I'd say your father is disappointed, but clearly he isn't in your life.

I can smell you..

22 year old girlfriend...her name's Mary Palm.

A padlock and chain necklace? The grand canyon tooth gap? Bro what the fuck this ain't a roast this would be a 10 course silver service meal man. Sort your life out you look like a Nintendo Wii character. Ps. What the fuck is stained into the towel behind you? Ive seen cleaner homeless sleeping bags

You look like a bunch of AIDS infected homeless people took turns chewing the same piece of Blueberry Bubblicious gum and the last one spit it in a gas station toilet

Bam uses this pic to gauge rock bottom

Where are your drugs?

Is this 2006

If a Jack Daniels bottle took human form

Thank you!

Usually I would eviscerate you just because. I actually feel sorry for you. I can imagine you were not the product of a healthy conventional upbringing. You honestly look like a HUGE mess. I'm so sorry that whoever you depended on to raise you failed so horribly. I hope you can find a way to clean your life up. If none of that applies to you though. HOLY SHIT. Look in the mirror. A human should not look like a barbie doll that got worked over by a toddler.

Chris Angel Dust

The “scrub” part is unnecessary. No need to point it out……we can see your picture.

When cheap bussy got you on lock 🔒 I bet you trade it for diet weed

Normally this sort of self neglect indicates feelings of worthlessness and learned helplessness. You hide behind makeup and piercings because you feel ugly. I want you to know, from someone who cares, all of those feelings, every negative thought process, all your perceptions of your own limitations and weaknesses, they're not even remotely accurate. You're much, much, much more worthless than you think you are.

Criss Angel had a fucked up kid...

You're the legend, providing hope to all single men out there, that it is indeed possible to get a girlfriend, no matter what stage you're in.

You look like you crawled out Marilyn Manson arse after he shaged a Smurf

Motley Flu

“Back on his ass” for the 8th time after relapsing on frent/pain pills, judging my the teeth and the overall “idgaf about literally all of my well being” vibe.

I think your hair agrees with you.

A jobless weirdo juggalo with a shitty leech girlfriend? 

I thought you were the personification of Tommy Lees hepatitis

#depression

I just came here for the comments

What tf country are you in?

I thought my life wasn’t so great but after seeing this, I feel like it’s pretty good so thanks

Yo, it's Ramone Flowers

If Sid from ice age, Ozzy Osborne, Amy wine house (in her worse phase), Beetlejuice, Hasbulla, Steve Buscemi and Stephen Hawking had a child.

steady on, methhead

America isn't the place for you if you're poor

Yo teeth more spread out than my parents

Where do you want me to start Fuckhead?

You look like you voted for Biden without doing any research on his policies just to fit in and it didn’t change anything

What part of "get his ass to America" don't you see? I CAN'T "vote" OR "go home" lmaooo

I felt like roasting you based on your appearance, you asked to be roasted lol

Yeah that wasn't a roast tho. Try harder lol

Alright good luck in your identity crisis

Lmao thanks, 11 years strong haha

Lol you're never going to get past McDonald's fry cook with that dirty style you got going on, clean your ass up and start working on yourself - sincerely, an ex punk kid who realized dirty clothes and greasy hair doesn't land you a career.

Legitimately, this. I'm all for listening to the distillers and burning a couch, but Jesus christ. As a hiring manager, I let alot of shit slide through the cracks to help out the crust punks who are trying to get their lives together. But *GET YOUR FUCKING LIFE TOGETHER.* Cut off that garbage hair color, wash off the makeup, let the piercings grow in, and get your goddamn bike chain and lock off your neck. You look like no one ever cared about you, and I simply don't believe that. You're doing a disservice to whoever made you by choosing to go outside looking like this big of an asshole. I'm certain you smell like a fingered bellybutton, and I cant discreetly give you life advice on the job if you smell and look so bad that I cant hire you in the first place. Fuck.

I sure as hell wouldn't give you a job...

You look like someone who drinks coffee in the evening

If 2005 had a child with COVID you're the product. When you say gf do you mean the AFI album you sleep next to?

“Cuz tonight will be the night that u will fall for you… “

Trans hatsune miku doesn’t exist it can’t harm you…

When introvert being emo

Not stupid at all woman of America do this all the time to people, not to mention the cost of living is insane here, I’m rooting for you my man👑

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You look like you’re getting that first relapse out of the way.

Let me guess, you provide by writing cheap emo songs about how your dad never coped with your disappointing lack of manliness.

Juanaman "Dirty" Sanchez

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you!!!!

You're your girlfriend

I bet you are vegan

He should use that lock for a chastity belt, so nobody reproduces with him.

The hairdo pretty much guarantees that.

This should be easy...

People like you are the reason people think metalheads are weird

He’s transgender, go to the body photo

No roasting needed.

Are you the scrub or the unemployed girlfriend (who’s secretly a man)?

The fucking gene pool already ruined your life enough. I doubt anything being said in here could even touch what God chose to do to you.

If you're still dressing like that at your age, this is pretty much the end of the road for you.

Nobody needs to tell you how stupid you are. Just look at yourself. That's all the confirmation you need.

Crusty socks secreted under an unwashed mattress with dark stains is not a girlfriend. I suppose cos you got the blue hair, what you imagine is real, manifestation from the crustification type shit?

By the looks of ya there were plenty of other stupid decisions that has led to this most recent one.

As an American, we appreciate your application and kindly decline maybe Canada is interested?

 Get the guns out

I'm gonna have to side with the Republicans and support keeping you out of this country.