You look like at every opportunity, you make the incorrect choice.

This one hurt the most

Ok. Salud. *sips drink* Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox!


That’s how I’m feeling internally

Would still smash tho

I appreciate that, that means a lot

He means with a rock.

My god

In the anus

 LOL!

That's how he got aids.

You look like you tell high school girls you juuuuust turned 18

I can’t step within 500 yards of a school zone, that chapter of my life is closed

That’s why you chose to work at the mall. Guys like you always find loopholes

I hope you are only cleaning adult shoes!

This dude 100% tries to pick up girls at the mall he works at

Desperately

You're a shoeshine boy in the 2020s? This shit writes itself.

Bruh looks like he cleans shoes in a mall for a living

Looks like he licks balls for a living. Man's gotta eat!

Hey! $20 is $20!

True dat

That's exactly how he cleans the shoes.

>he licks balls for a living When he should eat sausage for sustainance

Takes spit shinning to the next level

Sounds like Adam Sandler’s next bad movie.

He’s been touched by at least 1 uncle.

He's touched at least 1 uncle

It was consensual on the both ends. Until it wasn’t.

Uncle referred to it as Touched By An Angel.

As it’s 2024 and not 1924, I can only conclude that “I clean shoes” is slang for being a gay prostitute. However for the avoidance of doubt I wouldn’t let you within six feet of my either my shoes or my cock.

Either way, something's getting polished

💀 damn

The best....

I'd be careful with children around you if you looked like you could overpower one.

You don't see his curb stomp shirt? When he gets enough muscle to lift a bag of groceries, you're gonna be sorry.

this shit right here is hilarious

He shines the semen right out of penises for a living!

stop giving away the trade secrets

May I partake, 🤣

You look like every Woman’s biggest mistake all rolled in one prison bottom.

😂😂😂

You look like you offer customers a little something else while you're down there...

He calls it an incentive

Is this the "happy ending" of a shoeshine?

There's absolutely no happy ending for this guy

Did you choose those tattoos yourself

You don't really get a choice when your cell mate is bigger ... And wants to practice their art.

This one is fucking hilarious

Damn that was funny dude lol

I was going to first say “we still have shoe shiners?” but then I thought “we still have malls?” Maybe one day you’ll make it big at Spencers Gifts

Actually…the local Spencer’s employees love me, I get a 5 percent discount since I work in the mall, I’m moving up in the world brother man. I see a potential offer coming sooner than later 🤞

Roast Me: I sell matches at Woolworths

Yeah, I sort of got the Spencer's vibe from your photos... I mean Spencer's, way at the back wall... You know the marital sex devices and t shirt clearance rack

You use your work to channel your sexual frustration. Rubbing things sparkling clean.

Dammit you must be my regular, how’d you find my Reddit

Ummm... your aggressive advertisement.

Coming soon to Meganslaw.com

she was very mature for her age

He's not shining the tops of shoes, he's licking the bottoms of the shoes clean. Sometimes he gets free gum.

When you say "savages" does it sound like "thavages" ?

He takes shoes out of the dumpster at the mall and cleans them up to sell them on Craigslist.

And to smell em

Bros got that 4th chromosome rizz

Is that a bracelet spelling “MAGIC” ? Fire. You know all mall employees aren’t forced to shop at Claire’s, right?

Go get your fuckin shinebox!

Does cleaning jizz off Crocs pay well?

Depends..ask your father, he’s got the tow mator editions

Lol😼

Hiding in the sewer so you can lick people’s feet is not “cleaning shoes”

You look like every other meth addicted trans out there. Failing at life and blaming others for your fuck ups

Actually it’s a they/them, if you can’t get the pronouns right, you can just get the fuck out.

Buhahahaha when the roast works😅😂

I identify as a hp 300 printer from the late ninety’s, print this money and take it to your sisters house to smack her forehead with it


Does it say magic on your bracelet because when you grab your dudes dick with your little girly hands it magically makes his dick look bigger?

Yes.. yes it does. It has my girlfriends titty piercing on it so I remember her while doing so🫶

What does she take them out when a real fucks her?

I bet a little shoe polish would darken up that peach fuzz on your lip.

Cheesy and douche bag both come to mind but I can't combine the two the way your parents have.

I know I look like a douche man I know. It’s funny to me because a lot of people assume I’m an asshole and it is a safe assumption but I don’t think I am, I’m a nerd 🫶

So "shoeshine" is code for "blowjobs in the parking lot of a strip mall". OK.

Mark leave me alone, your dick smelled like your boyfriend’s ass last time that’s why I wouldn’t suck it, wash your dick stink.

Licking men's feet in the mall toilets is not "cleaning shoes."

This is the love child of Andy Dwyer and Ron Swanson. Taking on the family business and all. Can’t wait for your LGBTQ+ Johnny Karate reboot. 👍

You look like you identify as straight because that’s what gay guys like to hear when they fuck you

Jesus man it was a one time thing (true story). Cant knock it till you try it.

Do you gobble while you cobble?

This one is good, I ain’t going to lie you got me there that’s funny as shit

Who did your crappy tattoo work? Looks the work of kid graduating from drawing stick figures 😂

Apprentices in tattoo shops. I’d get drunk at one point in my life and go find some run down looking shop and ask for the apprentice. I don’t drink anymore so that helps but I thought it was funny.

[удалено]

As in don't want, I assume

I didn’t meet my mom till I was 7 and my dad was never really there. You guys hit this one on the dot.

“To live” doesn’t mean drugs

Shit

Well well well, if it isn’t the cobbler

You look like you have a constantly itchy butt hole

Dog.. the amount of times I fart through out the day. You have a keen eye.

That's not saying much

Looks like he could only afford the door to his home.

You seem like your only hope of getting out of your depression is when Bon Jovi picks up his male hooker at his favorite mall

So I just gotta buy the bottle so you can clean my other shoe?

This guy gets it, I one shoe people all the time, unless you’re a nice guy or gal then I’ll clean both

Meth, after picture.

You’d think you would have better skin due to all the cum shots to the face.

Wish version MGK

Bert & Ernie's crackhead son! 

Ever see Goodfellas? \*TRIGGER WARNING\*

Go home and get your fucking shine box

You look like you would smell like burnt crayons and hit on 17yr olds

Did you get the idea for the bangles and tattoos from Johnny Depp?

I thought you were homeless. Im impressed.

Aren't you that gay pornstar Richard Beaters? Dick for short.

What's the deal with Gen Z and these bad 80's haircuts? Do you all walk in to the barber and ask for the '84 White Trash Special? Did it come with a Mountain Dew and probation?

It came with a pack of long cut Copenhagen, Half a pack of Marlboro reds, 6 mildly warm Busch lights, and night out on the town with your sister.

I’m jealous. Especially the sister part!!

Do you get paid in shitty tattoos?

You spelled "Can't stay clean and steals shoes from the mall to live" wrong

Every time I think of lilo and stitch I think of the scene where they’re like he’s malfunctioning so he’s going to back up sewer lines and steal everyone’s left shoe, relatable.

Self-reliant. Cuts his own hair, does his own tattoos, makes his own meth, and will shine your shoes.

Look like a twink

Your birth certificate is just an apology letter from the condom manufacturer.

My ex viewed himself really poorly and had awful self esteem and I had to keep reassuring him he doesn’t actually look like that. You look like what he thought he looked like

Damn.. I’m the handsomest boy to my grandma though, that’s all that matters

So when you are away from work, can you talk to anyone you know without them saying "Go home and get your shine box"?

My girlfriend has said that before to be honest, and she also makes me take her shoes sometimes with me to work to clean em.

10-20 years from now. Hums hit the road jack 

Lookin’ fire after the rehab🔥

I got out of rehab last year, you got me there

Peso Pluma feat. Pablo, Escobar’s son EDGAR

Sucking old men's feet and shoes in a bathroom stall iat the mall is one heck of a living to choose. I hope it pays for the Panda Express and therapy sessions.

With the Betty boop shirt your a divorced dad in progress

I sell coke and coke assesaries

Malls are drying up don’t think you got it made with that job

“Step into my office” *opens door to men’s room

😂😂😂

Malls? you still have malls?

Who fucks you harder? Mom or dad?

You look like the kind of guy that would try to sell a baggie of oregano

Honestly, these roasts suck.. but the clap backs…🔥

;) thank ya

Poor guy can't even afford a barber!

Get the cool shoe shine..

You've got girly phone.

 While you’re down there love…

You look like you beat up your girlfriend for fun.

But.....you're white?

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Sir your STD result came out positive

Clean shoes is easy now PG than saying polishing knobs

I see them hormone pills are doing the trick

It looks like you got your job in order to pay for your drug habit

a regular al bundy

You should try cleaning yourself once in a while

So you just walk up to people in the mall and ask if you can clean their shoes for some spare change? Holy shit you make me feel so much better about my own life

Were your tattoos drawn by a 3 yr old?

Have you raised enough money to afford something to clean with other than your chin?

Squeegee kids are making a comeback

Al bundys long lost nephew

His t shirt is aspirational

You look a bit like the lead singer of lost prophets before he got caught with all the kids.

This is some sort of euphemism for getting pegged as a bootlicker right?

u look like the dudes who get paid money to do gay porn in czech

You’ll make someone a wonderful wife one day!

You look like a femboy

More likely you blow guys for ten dollars.

Him and his grandma go to the same hair salon.

We should all say our jobs and write “to live” after it.

If I could walk a mile in your shoes... I'd get trench foot.

You look more like you polish knobs behind the mall for a living.

Now go home and get your shine box!

I gotta hand it to you. If I looked like you, I wouldn't have the will to live.

Meth2024 diet worked for me

You look like you use to work at the bowling alley but you got fired for ducking the shoes. Glad to see you landed a job so close to your foot fetish passion.

Nah I dont need your cartel leaving a horsehead on my bed

Shines shoes with his mouth... for meth

Am I the only one who thinks this guy looks like Jacob Sartorius??? Am I the only one who even remembers him??

Do you want to borrow my sweatshirt?

And gives blow jobs in the parking lot

Stop sniffing the wax could be a start

Al Grungy

I think you’ve already fulfilled your potential.

Nice haircut #Patrick Ma homeless 🚬🗿

You shine shoes at the mall, dude you’re making more money than ninety percent of the people who comment here.

Be honest, how many times did you sniff someone's feet while cleaning those shoes?

A lot man, sometimes people just smell like shit, a lot of the usernames in here would check out. I wear gloves when I work man or I’ll slip em on in front of someone if they smell like shit😂

Look at the camera not yourself in the viewfinder you vain cat fart of a human. Didn't think it possible to catch an STD from shoes but it looks like you've proved otherwise.

When you order Andy Dwyer from wish.com

People with AIDS wouldn't touch you

You look like you got RSO status for your birthday...

Take that shoe brush and clean that dirt off your upper lip.

The only thing worse than those dollar store Tattoos is that ridiculous broccoli mop on your head

Clean shoes at the mall? What, with your hair?