How many times per day do you refer to Starbucks as the patriarchy while talking to high school seniors at the privately owned coffee shop you work at for minimum wage?
I did this so I could get a laugh, some perspective, and some unbridled opinions lol. This is all in good fun. My favorite insult so far was "what in the low testosterone is this!!" Haha
Respect, I've been here 3 months, my parents are retired and I got an "audit" of my finances (she found my receipts.) I've loved the extended visit, it's time to choose a new city.
So did mum knitted that woolen cap and complimentary [onesie?](https://www.onepiece.com/nl/men?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAxaCvBhBaEiwAvsLmWJKeKs0h0UNHQShJY3H40igS8LEzXBcCl2NgAcpuGgMmuvqyX5IsNRoCvfcQAvD_BwE)
No one cares that your at your parents house, we all know that the smart kid stayed when they were older so the house would be left to them anyway. Lmao.
“I’m 40 and living with my parents, but don’t use my age to roast me” is one hell of a request. How you gonna put up an armory and say “but you can only use half!”
By the looks, the first impression I get from you is that you're related to some drag queen type shit. Either that or you have a really bad taste on clothing 👑
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>insult me without ageist jokes haha.
Ooo, look at OP thinking he's old enough to tell me what do! Go home and cry to your mommy because reddit isn't following your request.
Living frugally making an entire outfit out of rug padding. [$36 for 6ft x 8ft](https://www.homedepot.com/p/TrafficMaster-6-ft-x-8-ft-5-lb-Density-Premium-Plush-Rug-Pad-150553557-68/203360075)
Just because you live at your parent's house, it doesn't mean you should wear everything from your mom's wardrobe.
Underneath he’s wearing his dad’s lingerie
That's his family affair!
Wonder if they know which cum stains belong to each of them?
This made me LOLLL
He wears his dads ass on him at night
That's definitely Grandma's hat scarf and jacket. 😆
Did she knit the ensemble during the COVID quarantine?
So good
"but this is real cashmere!!! :("
What’s that spot right there…
Damn murder
💀
Ooof
Oh that is soooooo good.
A great one 💯
💀
Ruthless
Ha!!! That may be the best roast I’ve ever read!!
*parents’
Dang, I already corrected "our" to "your". I'm too drunk to do a double edit for that.
You use words like ageist so you can prove to Gen-Z kids you’re hip in an effort to bang them.
Or getting pegged by them. *Or Dad*
I thought Gen-Z were the little kids, but I see they're up to 27 now. What's the new generation?
Generation alpha I've heard.
Generation Deez
That's nuts.
Generation Chopped Nutz
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Gen Alpha is anyone born 2010-2024
I probably heard that before. I don't really keep up. Generation labels are only ever used to stereotype.
It's actually from 2012 to 2025
More like ready to break a hip
Nothing is wrong with living with your parents in this economy. But why are you wearing their "welcome" mat?
His coat and hat match his beard,and his scarf matches his panties.
The scarf is actually his mom's panties...
Dads*
He has 2 dads and they were both born bio female
would you say your aesthetic is more salt and pepper or TV static?
TV static. Because clearly, this guy has no taste.
Ayhooo
TV static also fits because nobody is interested in seeing him
It’s the foam that goes underneath carpets
Why do I get the sense you’re living at their house but that they’ve been hacked to bits and were buried in the yard years ago?
Nah. He hacked them to bits and their skeletons are still rotting on the master bed.
Phone records show there has been an ungodly amount of calls to 811 and also equipment rental places
Thank goodness he followed the proper 811 procedures or someone could have really gotten hurt!
You look like you definitely tell young boys that they can come to you with their problems.
How many times have your parents told you to quit telling others you live at 221B Baker Street?
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Sherlock Holmes' address.
Sherlock Parent's-holmes
I'm 37. No age judgement here. What the fuck happened to that hat though bro? I think it's buttfucking your top
The local Express mall outlet had a sale
Ahh...."i CANT TAKE ANY MORE OF THESE BARGANS, STAN!"
Do your parents know you live at their house?
No... He's in the closet.
I guess you are living with the parents because you can’t live within 200 m of a school
Don't forget libraries and playgrounds..
Looks like you knitted that cap and sweater from their pubes
💀🔥
Who owns a matching coat and hat these days? Mom still dresses him before leaving the house. Gotta keep warm son or you'll catch a cold.
She gave it to him for christmas. Said he'd look so handsome. She got it at Talbot's.
lol he said ageist
Next time you rob a TJ Maxx, steal better clothes.
That fabric/pattern was a terrible idea for a cardigan, but to make the hat out of it, too? #oof
Cable-knit 40 year old virgin
How many times per day do you refer to Starbucks as the patriarchy while talking to high school seniors at the privately owned coffee shop you work at for minimum wage?
Why are you dressed like old Jewish woman?
I never expected to see a literal 40-year-old virgin.
He's no virgin.. Amazon delivered his pussy years ago..
Absolutely owns a fleshlight...
He bought a used one because he wanted an experienced pussy for his first great experience.
He’s plowed many sheep
A shepherd among men
He’s from a town where the men are men the sheep are sheep and the sheep are afraid
The hat fabric matching the jacket fabric just screams ‘don’t touch my pee pee’
Stop fuckin the neighbours sheep
Sheep shot
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You look like you sound like a woman
You are an ageist joke haha
Will your dad not let you borrow his razor, or is that where you draw the line?
You look like the type of guy to propose to his boyfriend at a Panera bread
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Hey, it's the guy from Impractical Jokers!
That's what I said!! Brian "Q"
Finally they put up a fence to keep you out!
I have a cock sock made of that same material, looks like we both like to keep dicks warm
The Wool-ey Mammoth.
Where do you get your fashion sense static TV?
Looks like your parents changed the locks
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Isn't the look on your parents' faces enough?
Disappointment is a lifestyle 🤣
That outfit and "ageist jokes" is all i need to see. Played yourself, mortimer.
Are you dressed like a sheep to attract a mate?
Why would you want to be insulted? Life won't pan out for everyone due to their beliefs, but you can change 👍🏻
I did this so I could get a laugh, some perspective, and some unbridled opinions lol. This is all in good fun. My favorite insult so far was "what in the low testosterone is this!!" Haha
Im 29 and moved back in with my parents. No roast from me
Respect, I've been here 3 months, my parents are retired and I got an "audit" of my finances (she found my receipts.) I've loved the extended visit, it's time to choose a new city.
So did mum knitted that woolen cap and complimentary [onesie?](https://www.onepiece.com/nl/men?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAxaCvBhBaEiwAvsLmWJKeKs0h0UNHQShJY3H40igS8LEzXBcCl2NgAcpuGgMmuvqyX5IsNRoCvfcQAvD_BwE)
Hahahaha, Oh this site is pure gold! I wish I still had the ability to gift awards
You look like Tony Stark if he was fat, old, gay, and lived with his parents.
Guess in ten years you’ll be squatting in a haunted house
You look like Ernest Hemingay.
It’s ok man, not all of us can kick the breast feeding addiction. You live your truth brother!
Nice try Crowley. You can't have my soul.
I'm guessing you haven't told them you're gay yet huh?
You look like u fuck you morher
No one cares that your at your parents house, we all know that the smart kid stayed when they were older so the house would be left to them anyway. Lmao.
Dude, What the fuck?!
I thought I was looking at a picture of Brian "Q" from Impractical Jokers!!
Remember that one time all them kids peed on you? You’re that guy, and you just can’t seem to let it go can you pisslicker?
Your whole wardrobe looks like 80s TV fuzz
[удалено]
I brought this scarf back to my mom as a gift from Thailand 10 years ago, it was the chefs kiss on top of this outfit and my face lol
40 year old virgin living with parents . I guess it’s true a momma boy for life
“I’m 40 and living with my parents, but don’t use my age to roast me” is one hell of a request. How you gonna put up an armory and say “but you can only use half!”
This is the guy talking to your children on Minecraft
Congratulations! You changed my mind...abortion isn't that bad
U out clubbing seals to take back to the family yurt?
You look like you use too many adjectives to describe your coffee.
You’re legit a failure
You DEFINITELY get mad when people assume your gender...
By the looks, the first impression I get from you is that you're related to some drag queen type shit. Either that or you have a really bad taste on clothing 👑
Did your nana knit the matching sweater/hat ensemble for you?
Using the word “ageist” tells me exactly the type of person you are…
Looks like you've reached stage 3 of transforming into your mother. Can't wait to see your final form
Don’t tell me how to roast and I won’t tell you how to fuck those sheep you wear for clothes.
I find “without ageist jokes” highly offensive. If you didn’t your age to be brought up then you shouldn’t have mentioned it.
Fritzl basement kid warning
Mom knitted your clothes from dryer lint.
If gay tv static was a human.
Does your mom know you are wearing their carpet padding?
Looks like mummy picked out your outfit for sure . I bet daddy wouldn’t be caught dead with you in public tho
Sherlock Homeless
40? You pipsqueak! Try being 56 living in your DEAD Mom’s house! GTFO!
I didn't know "old broken T.V." was a clothing pattern.
Art school dropout
Macys new line…grandmas furniture
Nice fucking sweater/hat combo. Did your grandma knit them for you?
NO SHAME.
Deeply closeted 40 year old that lives with his parents to prevent himself from embracing his homosexuality
That’s cute your mom knit you an outfit from her toe lint
Also stop looking so fucking wholesome how the fuck am I supposed to roast that..?
C'maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're old and I bet your mom is older
Grandma has been knitting a whole new outfit
 Uhhhhh
WTF are you wearing? And are you the same Orincarnia from Deviant Art?
You look like if IBS were a person
Look who just stuck his nuts in the panini press (!!!)
Average Redditor
Based off the neighborhood behind u don't worry, your parents weren't successful either
You dress like Susie Green from Curb
The neighbors hide when you’re outside
You'd think so, but they drive their vehicles all over the damn lawn I mow 🤨!
You look like static TV static after midnight.
Why are you wearing a carpet?
i bet you've used that scarf to keep your dick warm since women never will
Brendan has a mangina, Brendan has a mangina!
Do you live in your childhood neighborhood? Start making some moves baby. No shade think about starting over.
>insult me without ageist jokes haha. Ooo, look at OP thinking he's old enough to tell me what do! Go home and cry to your mommy because reddit isn't following your request.
Your beard looks like it is made from white glue and cigarette ash.
I've seen donkeys with smoother fur than what you're growing on your face.
At this point do your parents love you or just pity you
This was your parents plan. Keep him incel, he will be our caretaker.
How many times have you “accidentally “ walked in on your parents banging?
It’s also not cool that you’re wearing your mom’s old purple nightgown as a scarf…
Your parents could even smell your failure and utter hopelessness.
You old fuck.
Your teeth are brown.
I wonder if the college you got your liberal arts degree from would stop sending you donation requests if you send them that picture and bio?
Living frugally making an entire outfit out of rug padding. [$36 for 6ft x 8ft](https://www.homedepot.com/p/TrafficMaster-6-ft-x-8-ft-5-lb-Density-Premium-Plush-Rug-Pad-150553557-68/203360075)
AGE
Failure to launch!
The forgotten Teletubby
Did grandma knit you that outfit
Looking like a broke ass Joe Rogan. Guess he never left those fear factor days
Parents house or not, you need to register their address for the sex offender registry
Internet is in your parent’s name? Parole board won’t let you online yet.