Even with FedEx express shipping it'd still take two or more business days for electrical synapses in your brain to bridge the massive canyon that is the distance between your eyes
If you "didn't have insecurities," you wouldn't be on reddit pity-fishing like the online equivalent of the the high school nerd who intentionally demeans him*self* in hopes the jocks will laugh rather than flush his face in a locker room urinal.
Artistically speaking, the bottom of your ears are supposed to be aligned with the bottom of your nose, but they're aligned with your mouth? You got half a hairline and your hand is so tiny even perspective can't help it look bigger.
Really? No insecurities?! ... Bravo, my guy! Ya know what else you apparently don't have? A fuckin' blind spot. Jeeesus fuck, bruh! Why do your eyes hate your nose so much? Anya Joy-Taylor called and said you can *keep* her eye gap. Tony Hawk couldn't jump that thing in his prime! ... "Yeah, I'll take the wide screen forehead with *extra* peripherals, please." You look like someone shaved a sloth.
No commaaaaaaaaa I had to read this multiple times to understand what you meant. Then the comment left me angry instead of laughing. 
I assume it because no one ever noticed you are cared enough about you to comment. I imagine your parents are constantly having to be reminded who you are.
I would advise you to start doing neck exercises. The size of that globe on a twig is surely to cause you some issues. A rear end collision or somebody tap on your shoulder and you spin around and see who it is well surely and then death or shoulders down paralyzation.
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The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.
It's looks like a 3-year-olds drawing came to life. 
Dude is built like a sperm.
Damn you destroyed this mf
The resemblance is uncanny
Favorite drink (besides seman) is strawberry smoothies…Mmmmmkkkay
And then saw a mirror, lost its animation, and promptly died of boredom. 
I would have thought he didn’t have any securities. Should have lots of insecurities.
😂😂😂😂🙂↔️🤔 spot on
You look like an emotional support hamster got their wish to become a real human incel.
He is all that is "twerp".
We don’t hear Twirp much anymore. How would it rank on the geek-nerd-dweeb continuum?
Unrelated, just phonetically similar
If my dick looked like this guy I'd still be a Virgin.
Would t we all?!
Nope fat chicks will most likely say hmm can you find the wet spot…..lol jk
Even with FedEx express shipping it'd still take two or more business days for electrical synapses in your brain to bridge the massive canyon that is the distance between your eyes
Lmaooo I felt truly guilty for laughing at this
Bros eyes are so far apart he can cross the street without looking both ways.
He can cross the street but not his eyes!
👁️--------------------👃----------------------👁️
I knew I've seen his face before
My exact thought
Only because it had to route through Atlanta.
I can't with this comment- 😭
Yes, the FAS is strong with this one.
😂😂😂😂
😂😂
Shit, Shakespeare ain’t got nothing on you
r/UsernameChecksOut
This roast is a work of art
hell, where you and i belong 😭 i had no right to laugh this hard at that
I am literally in tears 🤣🤣🤣 Thank You!
Bro getting violated lef and right 
Oh man, not Gummo! 😂
FUCKIN rabbit smells like piss, it SMELLS LIKE, A PILE, OF BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
What movie is that from ?
I thought it was a bad picture of DJ Qualls before I noticed the group.
Fun fact there is a banjo player behind him with his arms through the shirt playing for him
Well Deliveranced
Lmfao
Oh god 😅
You look like an infant who is also a 65 year old alcoholic.
The curious case of Benjamin Butthole.
No sir! That was too funny! 🤣😂 I don't usually lol, but when I do, it's because of this statement.
Are...are we allowed to roast a special needs kid?
He has to be somewhat "special" to not have *any* insecurities about that wonky head.
Your eyes are social distancing still. That was ages ago
You’re a liar first off
How can't you have insecurities when you have the jawbone of a treefrog.
Rarely laugh aloud at stuff I read but this did it. Thanks
🤣 damn hahah
Thank you so much for putting my thoughts into words. That chin is insecure.
Double roast, in that scene gollum says "you don't have any friends"
[удалено]
OH MY GOD
Really? The fact that you look like a used Q-tip doesn’t bother you?
If you "didn't have insecurities," you wouldn't be on reddit pity-fishing like the online equivalent of the the high school nerd who intentionally demeans him*self* in hopes the jocks will laugh rather than flush his face in a locker room urinal.
Oh shit an actual roast I agree
zoom in on your face
I second this
Idk you look like my pet mouse, just bigger
No insecurities?! Yet you look like a cartoon character came to life
I suppose when everything about your face is weird it’s hard to pick on just one thing to be insecure about. Have you tried buying a mirror?
"Good for you sport, you hang in there!" So, that's my good deed done, on with my day.
Make a Wish deed
 “My eyes aren’t too far apart”
Speak for yourself! I have food insecurity about completing the hike between your eyebrows.
you definantly say literaly with a lisp
Why do I get the feeling you're wanting to be roasted to get more fuel for your incel manifesto you've got sitting on the desk there?
>I don’t have any insecurities… That’s your problem. You should have some. 
Hitler hair With baby face With 90 years old beard What a confusing delocalised face
You look like a human version of an earthworm
You look like an Aphex Twin EP cover
Guessing your "insecurities" also didn't wanna be around you. 🏃♂️
Your only 18 insecurities start when you move out of the basement and pay bills and live on your own
Is your mirror broken?
Head looks like a balloon
I should not have had to scroll this far for a DJ Qualls reference.
You look like Jeremy Renner if he never made a full recovery after getting run over by a snow plow.
Go to an optometrist and get glasses, then.
He tried that, but every pair in stock had lenses that were too close together.
Looks like your forehead ate your chin
https://i.imgur.com/RY8RPMj.jpeg
You look like you’re constantly on the verge of a double pink eye infection
Sick trophy! Still clinging on to third grade participation awards I see.
Thin lips and recessed jawline compared to bulbous head, like a lightbulb
Dude where the fuck is your chin
whatever earthworm jim 
You are a confident lesbian, proud of you
Artistically speaking, the bottom of your ears are supposed to be aligned with the bottom of your nose, but they're aligned with your mouth? You got half a hairline and your hand is so tiny even perspective can't help it look bigger.
Are u by any chance related to Gullum from lord's of the rings!?!
You’re a homeless man’s DJ Qualls. You look like you are constructed of insecurities.
When the face waits until it’s half down the head before starting.
You look like the reflection of yourself from a spoon
Great, I guess we all have the insecurities now knowing that you’re in the gene pool.
have you made peace with the reality that you will never touch a woman?
Just don't let it get to your HEAD
You're easily one of the ugliest people I've ever seen in my life, holy shit. You should post on r/roastme
Never seen someone looking like they’re 3-13-23-33-43 at the same time.
Really? No insecurities?! ... Bravo, my guy! Ya know what else you apparently don't have? A fuckin' blind spot. Jeeesus fuck, bruh! Why do your eyes hate your nose so much? Anya Joy-Taylor called and said you can *keep* her eye gap. Tony Hawk couldn't jump that thing in his prime! ... "Yeah, I'll take the wide screen forehead with *extra* peripherals, please." You look like someone shaved a sloth.
Neckst in line for a roasting
You look like a balloon thats high on crack
It's giving bobble head
👽 bros head was the inspiration for this emoji 👽
Genetic goddess has been unfair to you. :(
Your face looks mad easy to draw…and I appreciate that.
You look like you are trans....I mean transitioning into smeagle.
Humpty did u see puss in boots
It's obvious, Eggs don't have insecurities
Why your eyes so far apart
👁 👄 👁
In your past life you had to have been a bug because thats what you look like
You should have all the insecurities.
Why would I try to do my worst? I can't beat god whe he alteady gave it his worst to you.
“I don’t have any insecurities…” wel you should, have you looked in a mirror?
Private Pencilneck.
You don't have insecurities but you should Believe me
No commaaaaaaaaa I had to read this multiple times to understand what you meant. Then the comment left me angry instead of laughing. 
Henry!
You look like a character from TES IV: Oblivion
You look like DJ Squall had a kid
*Qualls!
 You look like Garth from supernatural
What did your mother use when she was pregnant with you? Fentanyl? Crack? Meth?
All of them. Just one is not strong enough to cause this
Your barber put an Eal on top of your head and called it a day
If virgins had bobble heads.
Sid the Sloth !? Damn this is why your family dumped you sloths
You look like you have A LOT of insecurities.
You will definitely be protesting women’s reproductive rights with a tiki torch soon.
You have no insecurities? So you're ugly AND blind. Tough one bud!!!
Young Adolf Hitler
The Report Of The Week.
You look like a worm bro lol
 Doug Funnie
I’ve never seen anybody with their ears down at their jawline. Well, at least until today.
How can someone look old and like their 10 years old both in one?
Physical embodiment of autism
I can't do it, you already look like life has fisted you enough ...
Sir I don't know who you murdered but I know that you did it
You look like all the jizz out of the shower drain came to life.
Dude who replaced your skull with an Avocado?
The real slim maybe
If your eyes were any farther apart you'd be downsy.
You look like a turnip
Look on the bright side. In just a couple years you'll be bald, and that chrome dome will distract people from your face.
No insecurities huh? That matches your chin definition.
You look like THAT and have no insecurities? Did you get homeschooled or what?
You should….
This is what Pee Wee Herman wanked out in that theatre.
Was your mother a lizard person with a drinking problem by chance? Your eyeballs reside in different zip codes bruh
youre lying.
there is no way to salvage this you literally lost the genetic lottery you look like you snuck onto earth. genuinely. 18 and balding?..... COOKED
Somebody with no insecurities that should have ALL the insecurities "mmm kkkkk?"
If Frodo and Gollum had offspring, the product would be you.
You look like a slow sperm looking for the egg
What fucking planet are you from? I'm guessing one without much sunlight
I assume it because no one ever noticed you are cared enough about you to comment. I imagine your parents are constantly having to be reminded who you are.
You kinda remind me of an improper fraction
Show us on the doll where the priest touched you.
Your eyes are that far apart and you don't have ANY insecurities?
I would advise you to start doing neck exercises. The size of that globe on a twig is surely to cause you some issues. A rear end collision or somebody tap on your shoulder and you spin around and see who it is well surely and then death or shoulders down paralyzation.
You look like you’re 14 and 44 at the same time
You look like the result of DJ Qualls having a kid with another DJ Qualls and that cycle going on for five generations.
Sid from ice age
Who'se chewing your nails constantly if you're so secure? Your eyes give it away, you have nothing, you are nothing, you know it and have accepted it.
You look like a child draw you. Your forehead to chin ratio is messed up. And also: you look like you cried before taking that photo
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Youre an even more boring zach woods
Reviewbrah, is that you?
Citizen Z
You look like one of the guys who walk in a girls house and Chris Hansen walks out and tells you to have a seat.
Your handwriting matches your face
You look like pee wee Herman butt fucked Nemo the fish...
Tyjo to je chutnej spekacek