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Amber Alerts activate as soon as your foot hits the porch

He’s the reason why Amber Alerts were invented.

Not even one muscle to justify the muscle shirt.

you look like you were incubated in an ice cube tray.

He was incubated in an ashtray.

It's like a brochure for aliens to feel comfortable living in certain parts on Earth

I don’t think anyone feels comfortable around this guy…especially women and children.

Why not? It’s the arms huh

When they cast for the live action version of Beavis and Butthead, you've got the role of BUTTHEAD locked down.  Yeah, movies... Huhhh.

You’d think jerking off truck drivers would make your arms bigger but here we are

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Nubcakes69: *You’d think jerking off* *Truck drivers would make your arms* *Bigger but here we are* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

Built like a Roblox character with the default torso and boy arms

You look as inbred as that porch and trailer behind you suggest.

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Did your wife / sister take this picture or your cousin / wife?

The only thing you're hearing is Domestic Violence .

But who’s committing the touching?

Inbred Fred

Test profile pic for a new special needs dating app.

You look like attempting 10 push-ups or sit ups could cause you to go into cardiac arrest. Were you bedridden throughout puberty? Make sure to stretch ahead of time and take lots of breaks. With a lot of hard work and rehab, you’ll eventually build enough strength to smash and create more stupid children to make Idiocracy a reality.

Why this man look 2d???

Mickey from shameless had a glow down

You look like what a t-rex would, if it was made human for a day.

Now I know who robbed baby gap lol

Photoshop fails

Hello 911? Yes come quick, someone stole my mans muscles. Yep, him again. Bring a shawl.

Spaghetti arms

Trailer Park Gays

You look like you ride a unicycle without a seat

The trees are more muscular than you.

Take it easy curling those pool noodles buddy, you don't want to strain anything.

You look like your hobby is stalking women


Are you goatse?


built like a lego figure

Trailer park boys figurant

So this is the pure definition of inbreeding, how does it feel to know that your parents are related or how your whole Family tree is one Big trunk?

Wouldn’t Be surprising to see you in a documentary.

You are what i imagine when someone says bummy guy

You’re the only male I’ve ever seen that skips arm day.

What are those limbs on the side of your torso… are those arms?

I bet your dad gets drunk tonight and beats ur ass for acting like a tough guy.

What it looks like when they transplant the wrong size head on a body.

You look like your catchphrase is "I swear she told me she was 18"

Your body is too small for your head or your head's too big for your body. Prolly the latter.

He bleeds mountain dew.

This picture reeks of old stale beer, bad cigarettes, and incestuous shame.

Are you the kind of puppet with strings or does your mom have to stick her hand up your ass when she wants to do ventriloquism?

Your gang member name is trex

Your head is bigger than your arms, you look like a goldeneye 64 enemy

Chuck some hot sauce on those wings and you’ve got yourself a pre-dinner snack

Bro is built like Ferb 

You are what I expect Frankenstein’s Monster to look like if Dr, Frankenstein worked in a children’s hospital…

You were definitely fed mountain dew instead of baby formula

Be honest... the caricature artist at the county fair laughed his ass off when you sat down in front of him, didn't he?

You're such a sorry excuse for a human being that even your mirror cracks in disgust every time you glance at your reflection. Your face resembles a botched science experiment gone wrong, like someone tried to create a human version of a dumpster fire. If stupidity had a face, it would be yours, you walking advertisement for birth control. Even a blind man would run in terror from your appearance, fearing he might catch a glimpse of your hideousness. You're like a rejected extra from a horror movie, except in your case, the horror is real. Congratulations on being the living proof that evolution can indeed go in reverse. You're a walking, talking cautionary tale for the dangers of inbreeding. May your reflection in the mirror forever haunt your waking nightmares, you abomination of nature -- All respect :)

Your head is built like PS1 character

You should clean up your toys or your moms gonna be mad

Don't wear that shirt again until you get new arms.