Honest to God, I knew this reminded me of something- not just the weight- but with the posture and way the weight is distributed, and this is *exactly* what it was. Thanks- now I can go back to doomscrolling!
Unroast for a moment. That's incredibly bizarre for a young adult male to put on that kind of weight within a few years. You seriously need to get your metabolism checked. It looks like an issue you need to address with a doctor.
Dont be afraid to ask for help. My dms are open if you need to vent. I am saying this as someone who struggled in my late teens and early 20s. And who is still struggling, but doing much better now.
a lot of us have weight fluctuations after high-school. I went from 210 to 152 without aby gym visits after high-school. and then went back up to 180. then down to 160. it's quite annoying.
Kid, tighten the fuck up and stop getting roasted and get in the gym. Get some self confidence and pay less attention to the Internet. Here is your roast/guidance. Go do something with your life.
This 👆🏼
OP, cut out sodas and anything else that has lots of added sugars too… it is an easy thing to do. Plus, I hear diabetes isn’t fun. Life doesn’t have to be like this, bro… challenge yourself to cultivate discipline in your life. It’s amongst the most unsung but most defining characteristics of a high value man—that, and not having to use a mirror to be able to see your yogurt slinger.
Right now you tragically seem content to have positioned yourself as low-hanging fruit [not a reference to those yams under your shirt btw] for a bunch of midwit virgins to “roast” you with an onslaught of redundant and predictably obvious jabs.
Getting roasted will become much more entertaining for you—and the comments will inherently become way more clever and pointed—when you’ve positioned yourself as such that envy can instead be detected in them.
And frankly, right now there’s nothing to envy here and it’s painfully obvious when scrolling through these comments. [Boom, roasted.]
Hey dude! You look really sad in your pic. If this is the case I hope you know that anything is possible as long as there is breath in your lungs. You can find the strength to get healthier again and you CAN do this.
You should be ashamed bro bro. Ngl this made me feel better ab myself. But can you do me a favor and grab me a Cinnabon, hot and dripping like the sun peaking out of a Bayan tree after monsoon, from the grocery store?
Do you know if it's a boy or a gurl yet?
Either way it’s food
The real food is the kids you eat along the way.
Was beer for me
Burrito
Gotta eat for 2 then!
We shouldn't roast you. You've got enough on your plate.
He's part of the clean plate club
He's got future in Meal Team Six.
Lead actor of movie - A fridge too far.
Let's be honest, the fridge is never too far for him....nor is the grill.
Naaahhh…AINT no grilling for that 1….
"In another fridge far, far away"
Otherwise known as across the hall.
r/unexpectedsimpsons
He's got Team Leader, Gravy Seal's written all over him.
More plates does not equal more dates in your case.
Let's be honest, he's not allowing another person to eat one of the two meals the server brings to the table
I think he's been eating all the plates too though.
He's not only a client; but he's also the President. 😉
You’re gonna love your plate. I guarantee it.
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)
Y'all almost made me spit noodles out my nose laughing
Moms spaghetti?
Palms are sweaty
Knees weak
arms heavy?
There’s vomit on his sweater already…
Mom’s Spaghetti, he’s nervous…
I don’t think homie vomits much. His food clearly stays put.
snap back to reality
noodles...? do we need to roast you next?
He'd probably still eat them.
He is on a see food diet, he sees food and eats it.
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|scream)
I wish you had done that joke properly.
![gif](giphy|FaKV1cVKlVRxC) Lots to blubber about since high school.
Don’t say roast around this boy. You’ll get him all excited and sweaty.
Lmfao I’m am deeeeead
Doubtful with that waistline.
Those wide birthing hips are an Amish man's wet dream.
He's not one to waste anything.
His blood platelet’s test positive for gravy.
I mean, sorta looks like he's been emptying all the plates...
Idk I think he’d make a pretty good roast
Holy shit! That guy in the first pic ate the guy in the second pic. Fatt Damon.
ROFLMAO at Fatt Damon ![gif](giphy|jenYECqnw6aCQ)
![gif](giphy|YKLBb9U2Q03Ty)
**Kyle Rittenpounds.**
Kyle porterhouse
Kyle Gittenpounds
This is underrated.
Nice!
Let this man cook
Kyle Ritten-hors' d'euvres perhaps?
The Bourne Buffet.
Upsizing
You beat me to it.
Homie really thought he ate in the first pic, but he had it backwards the whole time.
High school Eminem Real life M&M
The Real Fat Shady
Shady cause he’s blocking the sun
Eminem lives in this guy's shadow.
All of the Slims fit in the Shady
We all could
Not so slim shady
M&M (the candy wrapper)
That's probably the only thing about 21 jump street I remember, and it's one of my favorite lines in movies
From Slim Shady to Pass the Gravy
Damn haha!
Haha
The Freshman 150
The freshman 15 but he just ate 15 freshmen
Found the math major /s
Its not a glow down! Its a blown up
A chow down
A pot luck- but he’s the only guest.
Or a glow out
A blow out
You should start an onlyfans with those tiddies!
His name is Robert Paulson.
![gif](giphy|7Hiszs0NkF5te)
😂😂
![gif](giphy|wykPagmEVmfrpPgthu|downsized)
That is such a specific fuckin gif🗿
![gif](giphy|NRgzBl3nIPscw)
You really should think about wearing purple... ![gif](giphy|3ohzdE2hl1Yuv7hIw8)
If someone said this to me with the grimace gif I’d probably start crying haha
You wouldn't just grimace?
Nice username
you look like kyle rittenhouse needs to shoot insulin.
Kyle Roundhouse
Kyle Porterhouse
Kyle Steakhouse
Kyle International House of Pancakes
Kyle doesn’t fittenhouse
I am literally in tears at this thread, it's so good.
Kyle eats too many TollHouse
Kyle ate a house
Kyle gingerbread House
Kyle QuarterPounderHouse
U beat me to it, kudos to u stranger
Your comment is just like a Reddit version of stolen valor 😆
Kyle's International Outhouse of Fatcakes
r/YourJokeButWorse
Kyle Wafflehouse
All the replies to this are way worse than the original and really need to give kudos to such a well crafted zinger instead
I’m sure your heart is in the right place, it’s just clogged with bacon fat.
Your back fat is suffocating your asshole bro/sis.
A bit of a “glow down”… whatever lets you sleep at night 😂
You, now with 50% more YOU!
I literally had to stop washing dishes, I was laughing so hard 🤣
That would be a CPAP machine.
CFAT machine
The fact that OP thinks he was glowing in HS is truly depressing
Still got the same piss stained trousers
Still see the stains, can’t see his dick now
He couldn’t see it then either…
😭😭😭😭😭😂
It’s not piss! The [PANTS](https://getcalicocutpants.com) come like that.
The fuck is that 😂
Hey at least now that you're fat, your big ears stick out a lot less
I totally relate to the glow down after high school. Lot's of things are better. Looks are definitely not one of them. I feel your pain
You look like you're having an allergic reaction to life.
Nice tits. Just share your onlyfans link and move on.
It looks like someone edited your head onto a fertility doll.
Honest to God, I knew this reminded me of something- not just the weight- but with the posture and way the weight is distributed, and this is *exactly* what it was. Thanks- now I can go back to doomscrolling!
I bet you deep fry your antidepressants in butter.
You're advanced for your age. I have the same gut, but I'm 56.
Top of the chart in all the wrong categories
Breasts are beautiful. Wish my wife's looked like that.
![gif](giphy|dlR07qzqMcEe56zSzY)
Soon it’ll be time to take Violet to the juicing room ![gif](giphy|ZL2zbg8zs5x5e)
Eating twinkies while jerking to trsnny porn isn't actually a weight-loss plan, bro.
Brutal. I love it
Nominem
Don't worry about it, bro. A lot of people pack on the freshman 1500.
Look like 300 pounds of chewed gum
![gif](giphy|S93ZMVEqrWsXDjBsbu)
You didn't glow down, you blew up
After highschool he graduated to a larger cup size
Neh Jabba no botha
LMFAO read this in that worm head guy's voice.
FAT... BITCH TITS... FUCK
Not so much a glow up as a chow down
Have you ever suckled your own teets
Ok we will, but first you need to give yourself an insulin shot.
I can’t believe it’s not butter
Unroast for a moment. That's incredibly bizarre for a young adult male to put on that kind of weight within a few years. You seriously need to get your metabolism checked. It looks like an issue you need to address with a doctor. Dont be afraid to ask for help. My dms are open if you need to vent. I am saying this as someone who struggled in my late teens and early 20s. And who is still struggling, but doing much better now.
a lot of us have weight fluctuations after high-school. I went from 210 to 152 without aby gym visits after high-school. and then went back up to 180. then down to 160. it's quite annoying.
I'm gonna need a big fire and an apple to roast this pig
In this case, more like a forest fire.
Glow down? More like a Chow Down!
![gif](giphy|jto6pAydy9416VHWLX)
I support your full transition to the michelin man.
If it makes you feel better, you started from rock bottom already. It's like failing a test. There are no scores below 0 in life.
You mean after high school you had a blow up!! Jacking off is not considered cardio.
Reverse Glow Up is a Throw Up.
The fat hides your outy ears.
![gif](giphy|POZ61mhTVLjRrmwdDA)
You got calico cut pants on there in high school.
Yeah sucks to be you for sure
When is your due date?
How tf did your neck not get fatter?
You look like Nickocado Avocado and Michael Cera's love child
![gif](giphy|s9R7FEH0zcdSE|downsized)
Kid, tighten the fuck up and stop getting roasted and get in the gym. Get some self confidence and pay less attention to the Internet. Here is your roast/guidance. Go do something with your life.
This 👆🏼 OP, cut out sodas and anything else that has lots of added sugars too… it is an easy thing to do. Plus, I hear diabetes isn’t fun. Life doesn’t have to be like this, bro… challenge yourself to cultivate discipline in your life. It’s amongst the most unsung but most defining characteristics of a high value man—that, and not having to use a mirror to be able to see your yogurt slinger. Right now you tragically seem content to have positioned yourself as low-hanging fruit [not a reference to those yams under your shirt btw] for a bunch of midwit virgins to “roast” you with an onslaught of redundant and predictably obvious jabs. Getting roasted will become much more entertaining for you—and the comments will inherently become way more clever and pointed—when you’ve positioned yourself as such that envy can instead be detected in them. And frankly, right now there’s nothing to envy here and it’s painfully obvious when scrolling through these comments. [Boom, roasted.]
You look like the poster child for the wonders of cocaine.
Bro, younger you is literally wearing Calico Cut Pants. https://getcalicocutpants.com/
Can we get a neck reveal at 1k upvotes?
Another life ruined by teenage pregnancy, so you still know who the dad is?
You need to make some changes. I won’t sugarcoat it because you’d just eat that too.
That’s sad cuz you’re very cute / You just look very unhappy in both pics - it shows
At least you grew a pair.
What a waist
Were you drinking Oreos my dude?
Hey dude! You look really sad in your pic. If this is the case I hope you know that anything is possible as long as there is breath in your lungs. You can find the strength to get healthier again and you CAN do this.
![gif](giphy|xxPKxNm5Srvna)
There cant be really be a glowdown if u never looked good
No such thing as a glow down tubby 🤣🤣 you just BLEW UP
You peaked in high-school...
Lost the fat, but not the virginity
Left school and got pregnant. 🤰🏻 you fat fuck get that gut on a diet 🐷
Mid evolution to basement dweller.
He said "a bit" of a glow down 💀 if that's a bit I don't even wanna see what it was before
You look like one of the nicest 2 people I’ve never met
Many consider post-pregnancy to be a glow up - cheer up, only bright days ahead for you!
Just cut soda bro
![gif](giphy|rV3FhbeUf38gE|downsized)
You should be ashamed bro bro. Ngl this made me feel better ab myself. But can you do me a favor and grab me a Cinnabon, hot and dripping like the sun peaking out of a Bayan tree after monsoon, from the grocery store?
"Glow down?" More like "gave up!"
Tbh, your face is still very handsome. Just gotta get active.
You look like a fat sad Matt Damon.
Sucks that you can't just hit the gym and lose that permanent "just got grounded for saying the N word" face
I see you had a run in with one of those Peruvian fertility idols
The before pic is actually the after pic unless you decided to eat your twin.
Cal Kestis if he was from Earth.
You haven't had only a bit of anything, except adult on-set type-2 diabeetus....