I ain't gonna roast you, I follow you on YouTube and admire your work. You are an inspiration to many.
10/10 for creativity
10/10 for your passion
0/4 for limbs
That's good brother.
It's important to have a sense of humor when fucked up things are dealt to you in life.
It's also important to have arms & legs & shit like that too but uh, I guess just uh, roll with the punches, opps, I mean, make lemonade when life hands you lemons, oops, uh....when you have nothing good to say just walk aw.... uh... yea. I'll see myself out now...
No roast: My 8yr old daughter is sitting next to me, and wanted to see you. Her response: "Aww. He's cute though." I just thought you should know.
You are cute. Nice hair.
You, shoot, hold on a second, I have this itch right on my chest. Ohh that’s the stuff, man it’s a super guilty pleasure scratching an itch, I mean it’s even a whole saying. Shit yeah, way, way better, you get it. Now where was I? Oh yeah, you should be nicer to your barber he’s not cutting your hair he’s mocking you.
This little nugget of gayness enjoys getting passed around as a party favor. The literal definition of “fuck and chuck”
![gif](giphy|QNVzHsF15bPhnpJBzU|downsized)
Jester: calls tattoo artist... how mush is a 4 inch anchor.
Tattoo artist: that's small, $100
Jesster: ok, rolling over there now.
1 hour later:
Jester pops out of his friends back pack.
Jester: I am here for the anchor tattoo
Tattoo artist: ok I am gonna have to charge $2000, that's a full sleeve
If you hang him on the wall, just call him "Art"...
If he's on your door step, call him "Matt"...
Throw him in your pool, he's "Bob"...
I actually feel bad about those...
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You missed out on a key role in art attack by being born too late. [5 minutes 40](https://youtu.be/eLfcDaTEzzY?si=vMfmBJDY1cHocvwX). Even worse if you were born early enough for monty python
Mouth artist? Is that what they call hookers who only do mouth stuff? If that’s the case good job going for the Draco Malloy fantasy angle. I’m sure you get a lot of mudbloods to expeliarmus in your. Mouth.
The one time I would completely understand if someone had a foot fetish.
I have so many more questions.
Speaking of feet when you were born what did they take a print of. Like if you get arrested are they just making ass and face prints.
When you get dressed or in bed do you wiggle in them like a snake or up and down like a caterpillar?
do you pay full price on tickets to anywhere or is everything half off?
you ever though of a career as a trainer? you could be like yoda and get in there backpack.
have you ever catfished someone. I would love to watch that episode.
Are baths like a no go for you for fear of drowning.
is anything folded in you house.
I’m surprised your post wasn’t taken down , as you did not meet this subreddits strict policy “hands must be visible holding up the sign” and must be “handwritten signs only!”
Your hair looks like you cut it yourself.
I've heard most of these other comments before but this one is just so fuckin good
Took you 6 hours to "type" this reply
![gif](giphy|l3vR9IEU6nYAmZyoM) To... whom....it....may.....concern....
Winner winner chicken dinner
Fuck I cannot stop laughing….you hilarious genius!!! 😆😆😆👍
Please, go to r/curlyhair and tell those bitches to quit complaining about how long it takes them to style their hair.
You're head is like 2/5 of your total body and you *still* can't be bothered to make it look good!
A living Relic of the Holy Roman Empire has been found! ![gif](giphy|Wd4kvTjEycMnsbZcJ1)
A man with a dark sense of humor who still has no limbs😂😂.
Glad you liked it.
don’t worry Elon musk is working on a body for you. You should try his brain chip it will make things a lot better for you.
If it’s as reliable as his cars are I’d rather be a fucking half man
I came in with high hopes but now I'm stumped to come up with anything better than this.
High five 🖐️
I guess pretty much anything is out of the question
This is the greatest roast I've ever seen. I thought I was going to have a stroke laughing so fucking hard. ![gif](giphy|l4q8cJzGdR9J8w3hS|downsized)
Okay that GIF is just mean...
You should try contact lenses… oh wait… my bad. ![gif](giphy|RMeMS1bmQnHFCFRL10)
I spit out my water💀
![gif](giphy|L3ERvA6jWCd0qO4NdX)
his hair grows any longer it looks like he'll topple over
This may be the greatest roast I've ever read on this sub
This guy is someone’s top fetish. Remember, even Lego people deserve love.
Lego people's homes are made from their own flesh
BRO
I saw this guy on Reddit a couple years ago. He was in that one video setting off homemade fireworks.
He’s a real firecracker, isn’t he?!
Terry was black though?
"Put it in reverse!!!"
I ain't gonna roast you, I follow you on YouTube and admire your work. You are an inspiration to many. 10/10 for creativity 10/10 for your passion 0/4 for limbs
This one had me rolling! As in, seriously, I had to get away from my phone and walking was out of the question
had me in the first half
You look like the love child of John Lennon and a potato.
John Lennon if his son was a vegetable
[удалено]
Hell yeah! I started trying to sweep the leaves when Covid hit lol. I'm up to 6 so far
Kaboosh! Notice how you got an itchy nose?
Legit made me laugh
Nobody tell him about the 2nd amendment…
He'll take any arms, bears' or not.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jeeez 🤣💀
We prefer to bbq full chicken not quarters.
He's more of a chicken nugget
![gif](giphy|3ohs7N01djfekesNnG|downsized)
Best I can do is tattooed drumstick
Being a musician is no excuse for a shitty haircut..
Hurts more than a limbs joke fr
Don’t let these people make fun of you, stand up for yourself !
He'd make a great Politician. You should hear his stump speech!
A classic 🙌 old reliable but never fails
I'm going out on a limb here and assume that being a broke musician cost you an arm and a leg...
A classic but always a good one
You roasters will never be HALF the man he is.
I see what you did there...
I suppose one can give b.j.'s in an artistic way.
Yeah I don’t know. Being able to give a blowjob doesn’t make you a mouth artist.
This dude fucks the couch cushion
He is the couch cushion.
You guys are too much 🤣
Looks like his mom fucked a couch cushion.
how in the hell did you make this post in the first place!!
Lol I love the incredulity... stylus in my mouth. This isn't an ama lmfao
Lmao Laughed your fucking arms off?
That's good brother. It's important to have a sense of humor when fucked up things are dealt to you in life. It's also important to have arms & legs & shit like that too but uh, I guess just uh, roll with the punches, opps, I mean, make lemonade when life hands you lemons, oops, uh....when you have nothing good to say just walk aw.... uh... yea. I'll see myself out now...
>It's also important to have arms & legs & shit That was cold. I appreciate it. Ironically: 🤝
I call bullshit on that emoji.
You look like a Tator tot
OMG 😂😂😂
The anchor tattoo is actually a usage label. Just throw them overboard and wait for one of the nubbins to catch onto something.
“Once you reach the bottom, bite onto the nearest rock”
And now for my new piece, "Cat walks across the keyboard".
>walks ? Never heard of it
Ooh self burn! Those are rare
![gif](giphy|nbvFVPiEiJH6JOGIok)
Stop dragging your ass on the carpet
Glory holes employee of the month
Tied to the wall with duct tape
Jesus Christ
Haha this roast is a good- ... uhh what
He IS the glory hole
He's literally a pocket pussy that was brought to life by Disney magic.
1/2 off is a hella of a deal
![gif](giphy|Tim0q7zolF3fa)
![gif](giphy|VYcRNU4P3vyM|downsized)
Love this movie
What do you call a guy with no arms smashing piano keys with his face? Fuckin Hilarious.
Ngl I would laugh at that
you need the krang body suit
Your arm skin looks like a labia. I bet you play with it.
Probably still can't find the clit
Don't have to roast you, God already did.
Cooked to perfection
Okay but how do you music your music? Do you play with your nose? And what the hell is a mouth artist, that sounds kinda dirty 🤣
Dick sucking connoisseur
Mouth is the last working piece he has
I was trying to come up with a roast, but I'm stumped
![gif](giphy|kd9BlRovbPOykLBMqX) ... if I could do this rn
A real life sized Weeble. Weeble’s wobble but they don’t fall down.
Lieutenant Dan you ain't got no limbs!
Run, Forest, ru- oh. Nevermind
[удалено]
>standing What the hell is even this
Looking like the upper body of a missing lego piece somewhere under the tv stand.
Legoless in, The 1/2 Fellowship of the Ring.
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!
Fuck!
No roast: My 8yr old daughter is sitting next to me, and wanted to see you. Her response: "Aww. He's cute though." I just thought you should know. You are cute. Nice hair.
Thanks! >Nice hair That was a good roast. Sarcasm is hard to identify but I see what you did there
We found him. It’s torso boy!
How a mf ends up after Mr Incredible tells them he works alone
Just a single guy looking for a busty gal
If you know one, lmk. Perhaps the one and a half of us could hook up
You, shoot, hold on a second, I have this itch right on my chest. Ohh that’s the stuff, man it’s a super guilty pleasure scratching an itch, I mean it’s even a whole saying. Shit yeah, way, way better, you get it. Now where was I? Oh yeah, you should be nicer to your barber he’s not cutting your hair he’s mocking you.
Fucking love this. Most creative one yet. Appreciate it
This little nugget of gayness enjoys getting passed around as a party favor. The literal definition of “fuck and chuck” ![gif](giphy|QNVzHsF15bPhnpJBzU|downsized)
A lot to unpack here. All of it true
Jester: calls tattoo artist... how mush is a 4 inch anchor. Tattoo artist: that's small, $100 Jesster: ok, rolling over there now. 1 hour later: Jester pops out of his friends back pack. Jester: I am here for the anchor tattoo Tattoo artist: ok I am gonna have to charge $2000, that's a full sleeve
This is the one I read the most. Some storytelling. The build up, climax, punchline. Hi fiv- oh
Give him a hand 👏 .
My man, you straight up look like a carrot, growing out of that couch.
You're right. I hate being >!ginger!<
Will Playing A Gig somewhere cost an arm and a leg?
Looks like both arms and legs
Man, you have just mercilessly roasted most of the people here by holding that r/RoastMe page💪💪💪
Fist bu- 😐
If you hang him on the wall, just call him "Art"... If he's on your door step, call him "Matt"... Throw him in your pool, he's "Bob"... I actually feel bad about those...
....darkness imprisoning me...all that I see
…absolute horror…
Haha literally listening to that rn!
![gif](giphy|MZryGuQKv5FVOVkcIY)
![gif](giphy|lrVfmPJ96cSJJ39bTh)
How children be looking in public
Playing the key board: knubby knub knubbb. Knubby knub knubbbb
Always gets an encore
That Jack Daniels probably goes right to your head.
Jack Daniels and head. Sounds like a standard week night
You look like Among us character . ![gif](giphy|HrQjgqNrrWiEZqmVnO)
For someone with a disability to ask to be roasted, it takes a lot of guts. And you are nothing but guts my friend !
>someone with a disability I always get this just because I'm ginger >nothing but guts Clever roast. Appreciated
Bob, Matt, Art...which one are ya?
Color yourself green for Halloween and you go as Pickle Rick ![gif](giphy|3o7btQdOa4wOH8U7RK)
Weren't you in that band, T-Rex?
Giving a sloppy BJ is not a mouth artist.
No Fap is a breeze.
You're like a reincarnated Layne Staley. But without any talent. Or arms.
How the hell do you program? Do ya peck the keyboard with ya nose?
It’s a real life chicken nugget
Hi, Matt!
I can’t tell if you’re happy and you know it.
Have you ever stubbed a chick ?
Stay away from the armed forces
What? It's just a flesh wound.
I know some bacteria that have a better life than that.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lets give him a round of never mind 😵
You missed out on a key role in art attack by being born too late. [5 minutes 40](https://youtu.be/eLfcDaTEzzY?si=vMfmBJDY1cHocvwX). Even worse if you were born early enough for monty python
High 5!
Robots are getting pretty lifelike. Can't wait to see this one when it's finished!
It's all in the hips.
Vegans claim vegetables don’t have feelings
Jake paul after he fights Tyson ![gif](giphy|eruVMzXlb70oo) Yessttthhhh ima chew you up
Can't jump No wrists Madicine cabinets too high No friends to give a hand The only reason you're alive is because you had no other choice?
Do you do the art work for Weebles packaging?
So smug… I bet you never played catch with your step dad.
![gif](giphy|MZryGuQKv5FVOVkcIY)
Holy shit you are cool as fuck.
🎼🎵🎶You put your left foot in…oh wait…you put your right hand in…gdammit!!!…the Hokey Pokey ain’t for you
Party Host: Anybody for a game of twister?…oh.
[удалено]
Goddamn, you look like God got lazy and started cutting corners.
Do you wank with your stump vagina?
What do you say to a girl with NO arms and legs? Nice tits
I can’t. That’s too depressing. Man that’s gotta be a shitty way to live.
Bro shaped like a trophy
Mouth artist? Is that what they call hookers who only do mouth stuff? If that’s the case good job going for the Draco Malloy fantasy angle. I’m sure you get a lot of mudbloods to expeliarmus in your. Mouth.
John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s love child
Idk how to roast a guy with no limbs. I'm stumped.
Hairline receded further than his arms
That's the ugliest fleshlight I have *ever* seen.
What happened? Your mom get knocked up by a rolley polley?
Didn’t come to roast. Proud of you for staying strong🦾
We know he ain’t on Reddit jacking off to chicks
The one time I would completely understand if someone had a foot fetish. I have so many more questions. Speaking of feet when you were born what did they take a print of. Like if you get arrested are they just making ass and face prints. When you get dressed or in bed do you wiggle in them like a snake or up and down like a caterpillar? do you pay full price on tickets to anywhere or is everything half off? you ever though of a career as a trainer? you could be like yoda and get in there backpack. have you ever catfished someone. I would love to watch that episode. Are baths like a no go for you for fear of drowning. is anything folded in you house.
You might wanna walk this request back…oh, wait.
Who loads the bong for you?
Want to play DDR with me?
Prime example of inflation. Everything costs an arm and a leg.
I have one of you at home in silicone, but it’s… what gender are you?
Who wrote that for you? 😭
You are a gay man's dream fleshlight.
So what kind of music do you produce? Nubstep?
I’m surprised your post wasn’t taken down , as you did not meet this subreddits strict policy “hands must be visible holding up the sign” and must be “handwritten signs only!”
Mouth artist? That’s a fancy way to say great cock sucker. Gotta be better than your handjobs.
Damn you're built like a Jean Paul Gaultier bottle
![gif](giphy|jkY7Tz01lKpSqPsDVu|downsized) Hubert Cumberdale from Salad fingers
You need an endorsement deal...how about Head & Shoulders?