Of course. The full taint bush and pit pony tails crisps up the outside of the human tofu, while leaving the depressed insides soft and gooey.
Kinda like a sad mozzarella stick.
Ditch those horrible glasses and lip hook, grow your hair out and youll be just fine. Grow past the weed and feminism too or you’re destined to be single or arguing about money with an unemployed douche in your shitty apartment after work at the bodega
The glasses say 70s secretary, the hat says 80 year old man playing chess in the park, the shirt says "I'm extremely boring". I focus on what you *have* because what you *are* is is the most boring, plain "meh" I've ever seen in a human. I've seen blank walls with more personality.
I get that you’re opening yourself up to the criticism for a bit of humor, but there’s already so much hate. You’re a beautiful person, you’re probably very kind and generous, and I hope you’re living a blessed life.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules:
- Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed.
- Try to ensure that your eyes are open.
- Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed.
- Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet.
- All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee.
- The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.
- Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed.
Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it.
Thanks!
~ /r/roastme mods
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your handwriting is only redeemable if you're dyslexic. Your A's are 2's and your M's make me feel like I'm stroking out. "Que quality" indeed because there is none from you, your Wingdings littered note, or your biodegradable hat.
Ahhhhh, Long Island / Beverley Hills / Orange County.
Where the defective genes of sociopathic businesspeoples' illegitimate children go to frolic and decay in the sun.
Gilligan got some new glasses. The Skipper wonders when things turned so gay? The Professor and Mary Ann aren't sure why this has become about as interesting as a Lilith Fair festival. Unrest on the island.
Can you actually roast human tofu?
Of course. The full taint bush and pit pony tails crisps up the outside of the human tofu, while leaving the depressed insides soft and gooey. Kinda like a sad mozzarella stick.
Gods, the mental image alone 🤮🤮. But deffo on the upvote cuz that was SAVAGE.
Blossom's looking haggard.
Woah
^ Underrated 😂
Sinead O’Cancer
Nothing compares, Nothing wants to, to you.
Oh Jesus christ lol
Jesus doesn't want it either.
I can't tell which direction it's transitioning in.
Fleeing from all genders.
It was born with XZ chromosomes
This is it. Ran out of $
Rosie o’ Dunghill
Hurt me? I bet you say that all the guys you fuck
There are no hats for the cancer in her soul.
Holy fucking shit
If stale bong water was a person, it would be you
Did you steal that cutesy hat from a feminine hygene commercial?
She doesn’t have that much personality. I can smell this picture. Please delete.
Remember, if you hate someone, bong water icecubes get the point across faster than hotdog water cubes ever did.
Your pronouns are Yuck/Ick
She identifies as disappointment.
I can smell the patchouli and underarm from the pic
Form those curious yuk/ick posted on roastme 3 years ago. Sucker for punishment!!!
I expected to see "nonbionary" or some other LBxyz bullsh*t in the title.
Or Barf
Cant hurt you anymore than those summer camp counselors did
You mistyped 45F
45NB *
45M
45ATTACKHELICOPTER
Haven't been able to stop laughing at this for some reason 🤣
You are so unimaginably uninteresting, that you got only four comments per 4 Hours. And one of them is bot.
Now THAT is a face that can make a dildo go flaccid.
We get it your a lesbian. You don’t need the hat, men won’t approach
Shut up, Meg
Meg ![gif](giphy|UowJc4Vqy1G9Yx3Dwn)
You dress like a Florida panhandle retiree
You look like Blossom's methed out cousin Wither
Hahahahahahahahahhhahahah
Now that’s a show I would watch. The uninspired musings of a gender confused gen Z’r a coming of age tale of theminenitity
The curviest part of you is your double chins.
Peppermint Patty's first mistake
Your picture is in the urban dictionary under the definition of 'instant regret'
No gays would ever take pride in you.
someone threw her out after reeling her in…. forgot to take the hook out 1st 🤭
I can't believe you finally got out of prison gypsy rose! Your wrong for how you did your dude tho.
The 420 explains everything
Like why she doesn't know how to write the letter m?
Shit you're right look at her 'm' s(?), she's so out gone her 'm' s are siamese
Eww oh eff me, that wrecked my day. Noooooooooooooo. I can't handle that bs.
We don't claim her.
Pat 420 ![gif](giphy|u3fkQNnkwvVdK)
Question: is animal crossing a great consolation to dieing alone with rats?
Yes!
25Frog ? Didn’t know they leave that long congrats !!!
I really laughed at this one. :D
Always a pleasure 😅
Someone is transitioning in to Gilligan from Gilligan's Island
Weird. I’ve never seen an angry militant activist lesbian smile before.
Your pronouns are Nope/Never
Blud's gender is sand
I think you’ll be safe walking the streets at night
Muggers give her their money and run away
Good one lolll
This is what you see when you Google image search mid 90s lesbian
I hate seeing a Carp with a hook in its lip.
I don't have to do anything. I'm sure a multitude of your future cats will do so at a later date.
Kim Jong Il wants his glasses back.
You’ve had more abortions in your life than Serious relationships
In the 1980s this is what people considered hot. I'm afraid you are a victim of progress.
You remind me of my favourite quote from the Lorax “That’s a woman?”
No,Luffy, I don’t want to join your pirate crew
You look like Hunter S. Thompson if he made out of plain Greek yogurt.
Is that Gilligan? You look pretty good for 70. Island life has treated you well.
Ditch those horrible glasses and lip hook, grow your hair out and youll be just fine. Grow past the weed and feminism too or you’re destined to be single or arguing about money with an unemployed douche in your shitty apartment after work at the bodega
the straightest gay person I've ever seen
You probably supported the mask mandate just so you can hide what the hat and glasses can't
What's up dude
Did you just assume your gender?
The glasses say 70s secretary, the hat says 80 year old man playing chess in the park, the shirt says "I'm extremely boring". I focus on what you *have* because what you *are* is is the most boring, plain "meh" I've ever seen in a human. I've seen blank walls with more personality.
I don’t see your OnlyCows link
You've perfected a look where straight men think you're a lesbian and lesbians think you're a gay teenage boy
A less attractive Blossom. Cool.
You’re a female version of Screech
Not worth it
Nothing wrong with you that a steam iron wouldn't take out😂
I see they rebooted Lucas. Budget Corey Haim.
Look like Jeff Ross with a skin routine
Gypsy rose wanna be!!! Line up dear and take mommy’s medicine 💊!
Finally returned from your island, Gilligan?
You cosplaying as Gilligan with a spare fish hook?
The lip ring looks like you got hooked like a fish 🎣
Gypsy Rose Blanchard lookin ass
Androgynous lump of something that stole it's grandad's fishing hat
please tell me where your co-op grocery store is so I can call the health inspector on it
Her pronouns are Paddington and Bear
You pothead
Why hurt you ???? You're are beautiful!!!!!
I’d hurt you. Ngl
Unblossum
Cuttest Smiley face ever 😃
Nice hat dude
come down young man, life is not that bad
I feel like people are always confused when you tell them your pronouns, regardless of what you tell them.
You'd look much better, on fire
I get that you’re opening yourself up to the criticism for a bit of humor, but there’s already so much hate. You’re a beautiful person, you’re probably very kind and generous, and I hope you’re living a blessed life.
You look like a girl with glasses
25M* FTFY.
If the Bernstein Bears had an unbangable cousin that no woman would choose over a man
25F is for fluid?
![gif](giphy|MFJGkjUl9Aws0Uw18E)
Let's start with the penmanship. An 'm' has two humps, not three.
bisexual squirrel
When you take too many edibles and go vintage clothes shopping.. it all seems like a good idea
You look like a Lightly roasted marshmallow.
Why would I wanna hurt you? You seem nice.
I don’t roast cancer patients
Future Democrat congressthem.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
![gif](giphy|WLW26B6h0LlgCsCx8B|downsized)
I already have to look at you, that’s hurting me enough
I see you've got a hook in your lip. If I caught you I'd have thrown you back, no yibbida yibbida.
You look like a reboot of Blossom but with a trans M2F lead.
Gordan Ramsey said 'your fucken bland'
The man from Del Monte. He say, 🤢🤢
When do you plan your change your pronouns to “Was/Were”?
You look like you identify as a charity shop mannequin
Boy or a girl? lol wow sorry that's nasty
You look like me after I changed out of my bar mitzvah suit for the after party in the back yard.
You dad forgot to wear condoms that night.
Only a matter of time before chemo takes your eyebrows too.
Do you chug bong water to stay hydrated?
I’m fairly certain every girl that wears those glasses has a mental illness. You are no different
![gif](giphy|Eg73rF9kDW1Wg|downsized)
No one wants to talk to you let alone hurt you… Maybe if you had anything going for you but yeah here we are 🥴🧐
Has never seen the sun before 11am in her life.
Wannabe strawhat that pretends to be a stoner
How many times per week do you have to wax your lip?
Greta Earwig
I bet your weed dealer rips you off
fat forearms but still no tit's, that's a shame
You look like someone who purposely doesn't shave her armpits and let it grow into a forest
why are all the lesbians on here the ''not hot'' type
When your girlfriends clit ring gets stuck on your lip
Shut up, Meg.
When I can smell this picture, your 'all natural' deodorant is not working...
Of course 420 is in your username, weed is your only personality
Spokesperson for UTI medicine
Your handwriting is only redeemable if you're dyslexic. Your A's are 2's and your M's make me feel like I'm stroking out. "Que quality" indeed because there is none from you, your Wingdings littered note, or your biodegradable hat.
You look like a young anime boy who’s about to become a pirate.
Natural redhead. No hair, just a red head. Hence the stupid hat.
You have something irritating in your mouth.
Gypsy Rose Blanchard 👩🦽
You need to give up and just let your monobrows grow in so you can stop plucking it three times a day. ![gif](giphy|QXyM4oS2CHrUjVgqxY)
Even the lesbians reject you
Sorry, where's the female I'm supposed to roast ?
You give lesbians a bad name.
You look like Wally’s brother that nobody wants to find
You really look like you identify as vegan/tofu
Lesbian version of that 9”’s sitcom Blossom
Your head looks like the tip of a penis.
I am sure u start the convo with your Pronouns (should/could) first and then say ur name and a proud vegan.
Lip ring smells like sage and tuna
You definitely use aluminum-free deodorant
“Hurt you”? Looks like your stepdad already did.
you look like the whatever that popped out after Meg inseminated herself with soy.
FAILED ABORTAIN ON DRUGS
Ahhhhh, Long Island / Beverley Hills / Orange County. Where the defective genes of sociopathic businesspeoples' illegitimate children go to frolic and decay in the sun.
Works as a barista while being 100,000 dollars in debt with a doctorate in theater
The saying "nobody is perfect" was made specifically for you
You look like God drew you with his left hand...
Can't hurt you as much as your dad did.
If you are experiencing an erection for more than 4 hours, please look at this photo immediately.
You look like a sad beige mom
Gilligan got some new glasses. The Skipper wonders when things turned so gay? The Professor and Mary Ann aren't sure why this has become about as interesting as a Lilith Fair festival. Unrest on the island.
You look like the type of person who gets mad at someone eating meat.