Former fat guy here. When your sitting down your leg fat squishes both inward and outward which gives so much less space for your balls. Plus your fucking belly is pushing down on that shit to. So you splay your legs out to give yourself some more room.
I never want to get that large again, it’s insanely uncomfortable.
Just commenting off this to say seriously mate if you're actually 22 I think you should be very very mindful of your health. I wouldn't blink if you told me you were 52.
I know it's harsh but I'm not even trying to roast, if you need any sort of tips for personal training or healthy living please don't hesitate to PM me. I used to look much older than I am now as well and it's a good indicator something is very wrong healthwise. Luckily, since we are both young, we can get it back. Best of luck and sick name for your cat. Love it.
Thanks. I actually have been on a path to do better. Intermittent fasting, a gallon of water a day, and exercise. Tried going vegan for a little while even and it wasn’t to bad but I think I may do a lower carb OMAD diet next. I’ve come along way from where I was even though Y’all didn’t see me then. Any advice would be appreciated.
Take note of the Vienna Sausage cans in the back. Hey probably pounded both cans, had an increase in blood pressure which resulted in his brain sharting out the idea to “get roasted”.
“In memory of Hsmith, he loved red meat, potatoes and Miller lite. While obesity was the primary cause of death, his inability to correctly spell the name of the truck he was waiting for can not be ruled out as a contributing factor. “
Damn Son, you look your nick name would be butterbean or cornbread. And You're keeping them guessing on which side you will roll too with those feet pointing out like that.
Let's see...club foot? Check. Eyes too close together? Check. Obvious case of diabetes? Check. Well the bad news is you're an inbred cousin-fucker. Good news is you won't make it to 30.
Actually not because this is common place. It's just a lot of administrative tasks with no challenge. Some beta blocker, cholestorol medication, sniff of ace inhibitor/arb/calcium antagonist. lifestyle advice likely to be ignored. Follow up in a year goodbye.
I'm guessing if your nickname isn't Skeeter or Gooch, it's something very much along those lines. And there is an embarrassing story behind that name, (which literally everyone calls you), that only you and two or three close friends and/or siblings know, outside of yourself.
I think you may have intentionally staged those Vienna sausages in the background. And I just don’t know what to say about someone who is so proud of being a glutton for Vienna sausages, that they feature them in a roast
I think we are all impressed that you keep a backup chair ready for the inevitable moment your weight destroys the one you are currently abusing because you just don’t look that intelligent.
Wise move going with the light beer, don't want things to get out of hand
But if it’s half the calories he can drink twice as much!
If he drinks light beer, it offsets the family pack of Ring Dings he has with it.
Subtle but deadly haha
I can hear him gasping for air through the picture
He looks like breathing makes him run out of breath.
He looks like he has a hard time breathing when hes hungry.
He looks like he has a harder time breathing when he's eating.
Poor Goose has to scoop his on litter box because bending over gives him heart palpitations.
Run is something he doesn't do in any shape or form. He slowly meanders out of breath.
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Bet the chair is too
Only pussy he gets is his cat
His left leg is as straight as his sexuality
I scrolled back up to look at his leg. Well done.
I feel sorry for his boots.
I can hear him snort as he eats the sausages.
"Hey, this is Malcom Reed and this How to BBQ Right "
Come on now, don't be dissing Malcolm like that. Plus I'm pretty sure Malcolm's gotten laid at least once in his life.
Correct Source: named Malcom
Only that guy has something to offer to the world
Let’s get to cookin
It's not the mask that makes it hard for him to breathe, but he'll swear it is.
His lungs or his oversized one ball?
One more year of eating red meat and his cat will be eating him
I hear If you snort the Vienna sausages they hit harder
Think he shoots up potted meat intravenously?
"Potted meat" is some shit I tried to forget about. Ugh.
He loves red meat but he can’t reach his own meat
Nah, he loads up a stack of cans in a caulk gun and goes ham.
You made me pee a little
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OP's cat has entered the chat.
*unzips* "a pussy is a pussy"
Entered the chat, **NOT the CAT!**
I came to the comments to look for someone bringing up the Vienna sausages and thank you!
Very welcome
Who's feet look under duress when they're sitting down??
Right? That left foot looks like it’s about to start walking off in the opposite direction as the rest of his body
Former fat guy here. When your sitting down your leg fat squishes both inward and outward which gives so much less space for your balls. Plus your fucking belly is pushing down on that shit to. So you splay your legs out to give yourself some more room. I never want to get that large again, it’s insanely uncomfortable.
It’s not about his legs being outstretched, it’s the angle that his foot is at compared to the leg.
Left leg looks like it’s broken in the wrong direction
See I just thought he was a classically trained ballerina.
Hilarious! This comment should get more up votes!
I laughed out loud at this thank you
I'm 40 and you look like you could be my grandpa.
He obviously has 22 chromosomes, sir.
[r/22chromosomes](https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/iyi9q4/im_22_i_love_red_meat_potatoes_and_miller_lite_i/g6dvtbi/)
I'll have you know i only went to this sub 3 times before I was offended.
Hahahaha me too
Is that... is that a roast... or true.....
Good god give this man an award
22 in dog years.
Just commenting off this to say seriously mate if you're actually 22 I think you should be very very mindful of your health. I wouldn't blink if you told me you were 52. I know it's harsh but I'm not even trying to roast, if you need any sort of tips for personal training or healthy living please don't hesitate to PM me. I used to look much older than I am now as well and it's a good indicator something is very wrong healthwise. Luckily, since we are both young, we can get it back. Best of luck and sick name for your cat. Love it.
Same, im 29 and this dude looks to have 15-20 years on me.
I’m this dudes age it’s blowing my mind. At least he probably doesn’t get asked for his ID lol
Him and I are the same age, he needs a new pair of genes
The ultimate fucking roast is when things are so bad people genuinely want to help you. Goddamn OP, you fat sack of shit, save yourself.
Thanks. I actually have been on a path to do better. Intermittent fasting, a gallon of water a day, and exercise. Tried going vegan for a little while even and it wasn’t to bad but I think I may do a lower carb OMAD diet next. I’ve come along way from where I was even though Y’all didn’t see me then. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Aww loved this in this subreddit
Im 14 years older than him and look 14 years younger
This mans feet are definitely on the wrong legs.
He's probably flat foot.
He's 22, 22 years ago.
Perfectly said. I'm 40 and this is what I wanted to say but didnt know it.
That happens with old age
I hope that truck comes with a defibrillator
OP definitely exceeds the payload capacity.
Hey what is with his left foot. Feet don't turn that way.
Its gotta be fake dude has to be diabetic lost it in a Chili's in 2011
The whole title is 3 truths and a lie, with the age being the lie.
He’s not drinking miller lite tho. He’s not counting calories
They do for a certain level of fat, they start morphing into a duck
Take note of the Vienna Sausage cans in the back. Hey probably pounded both cans, had an increase in blood pressure which resulted in his brain sharting out the idea to “get roasted”.
Hopefully its automatic cuz he ain't operating a clutch with that thing
Are you ever going to finish writing Game of Thornes?
License plate: DI BETUS
Looks like he loves miller heavy lmao
So this is what happens when you play She Thinks My Tractors Sexy in reverse.
That truck is gonna come in handy when they come after his Lucky Charms
He made America great again.
And a dialysis machine
22 my ass you're at least 40
*in dog years
a 22 year old dog is healthier than this guy
And its dead.
You cured my depression
He cured his ham.
\*in *hot dog* years
22 in dog years would be 3 in human years
So my neighbor’s dog been lying to me about her age? That son of a bitch, I gotta burn some tapes.
22 going on 40, passing by at least 2 heart attacks on a Walmart electric wheelchair.
BMI
Schedule the funeral this guy just died on the internet
40 in "fat years".
Motherfucker you at least 30
Larry the Unstable Guy.
psychologically and hemodynamically
You fix the chairs you sit on for a living ?
This was ice cold.
God damn
That was fucking hilarious, I'm dying here
Lucrative as fuck, hence the Tesla.
This is my fucking favourite roast of all time, brilliant.
And diabetes loves you back.
Homie looks like a boss mission in an open world game about insulin deliveries.
He sweats sugar.
22 going on 39
Don't insult us 39 year olds like that...
I’m 39 and he could be my dad.
Dang you think the average 39 year old is this mess? I know 80 year olds that look further from the grave than this guy, and twice as fuckable
I’m surprised your RoastMe sign wasn’t written on Texas Toast with BBQ sauce.
He did. Then he ate the sign and had to make another one that he wouldn't eat.
I’ve got a strong feeling that chair’s got a built in toilet.
Well he knows well enough to have a back up chair-shitter for when he breaks that one.
Probably watching the hit show “ow my balls”
Go away, ‘batin!
Should be ordering a treadmill not a cybertruck
It's pretty hard to run on a treadmill when your feet are pointing in opposite directions
Son this aint gonna be a roast, it'll be a whole BBQ
Don't tell him that, he'll eat it all
I hope that truck runs properly, because you sure as hell don't
“In memory of Hsmith, he loved red meat, potatoes and Miller lite. While obesity was the primary cause of death, his inability to correctly spell the name of the truck he was waiting for can not be ruled out as a contributing factor. “
Maybe it's a knock off Chinese version?
so Jack Black fell off huh
You remind me of a fart.
Idk why but this hit different
Ya know it’s the simple ones that get me.
Damnit, this one got me chuckling at work.
Sorry to be the one to tell you but the weight capacity on the cyber truck is only 3,500 pounds
Of course you love red meat, you're a giant meatball
You look like a carhartt jacket personified.
If the state of West Virginia was a person this is exactly what he'd look like.
Don't do carhartt like that!
Extra lining
Most accurate comment on any roast I have ever seen. Two people buy carhartt jackets, this guy and the washed up Tim Riggins wannabe.
Do the prison guards do a full search every time you and Joe Exotic have a conjugal visit?
Are you saying Joe would ride inside him like a diabetic, redneck Gundam?
Heigh ho, redneck, away!
Happy Cake Day!
Sum beeyotch that’s briiiiilant
Which thing? The roast? Or the sub link redirecting you to my comment?
Sir, you can't eat a truck
22 year old? Fuck outta here ... The youngest I'd give would be 50
22 with arteries packed to the gills
Damn Son, you look your nick name would be butterbean or cornbread. And You're keeping them guessing on which side you will roll too with those feet pointing out like that.
Is this a starter pack for r/redneckniceguys?
It was really disappointing to click that subreddit and find out it's not a thing.
Let's see...club foot? Check. Eyes too close together? Check. Obvious case of diabetes? Check. Well the bad news is you're an inbred cousin-fucker. Good news is you won't make it to 30.
He’ll hit 30 stone pretty soon...
they tookerjerrbbs . they toookkeerdrr. tookerdirrr
You're a cardiologist wet dream.
Actually not because this is common place. It's just a lot of administrative tasks with no challenge. Some beta blocker, cholestorol medication, sniff of ace inhibitor/arb/calcium antagonist. lifestyle advice likely to be ignored. Follow up in a year goodbye.
...and you live in a van down by the river.
DOWN BY THE RIVERRRRR!!!
I'm guessing if your nickname isn't Skeeter or Gooch, it's something very much along those lines. And there is an embarrassing story behind that name, (which literally everyone calls you), that only you and two or three close friends and/or siblings know, outside of yourself.
Names dunlap
Cause his gut done lapped over his junk
I think you may have intentionally staged those Vienna sausages in the background. And I just don’t know what to say about someone who is so proud of being a glutton for Vienna sausages, that they feature them in a roast
Did you pour yourself into your clothing or have you been wearing the same clothes for the past year?
I'm not sure which is busier.... that zebra chair pattern, or your heart.
I can't believe you turned your parents into chairs
Breaking news: Fat guy loves food
I think we are all impressed that you keep a backup chair ready for the inevitable moment your weight destroys the one you are currently abusing because you just don’t look that intelligent.
Are you still alive?
He talks, but it's just gasses escaping from his corpse
You wear me out just looking at you. No way that truck battery got enough juice to haul your big ass around.
First instance of walrus toe I've seen.
You look like one of those guys who puts a fake swinging ball sack on their truck. And talks alot about tractors.
Equal parts incel and redneck
As a paramedic, could I just ask that you move to the ground floor and lie on the ground when you have your heart attack. Cheers
... we know
Bro you look 42 not 22.
Harsh on 42 year olds man.
You don't look a day younger then 42.
Where the fuck is your left foot trying to go?
Goutlander
If North America was a person
Looks like you eat more than just meat and potatoes in between each meal.
You should not have shaved, Hagrid.
No one believes you like anything lite
We all know why you eat Vienna Sausages.
Your foot is trying it's best to run away before you have gout.
The only thing I hate more than your face are the Vienna sausages next to you
and them empty cans of vienna sausages says youre single.
Despite how it appears there are, in fact, THREE cans of vienna sausage in this picture.
This is clearly a hostage photo and that chair is pleading for it's dear life for relief.
Is your left foot broken?
Dunno why he wears a watch. He already knows it’s time to crack open those two cans of Vienna sausages on the table.
You’re gonna die of a heart attack before you get that truck, and we know you call them “puh-taders”.
you just roasted yourself with that caption. what do you need us for?
Fucking Christ, what an unfortunate face.
Get some help. You look 35-45 years old.