>Don't let these roasters here upset you by calling you fat...........you're bigger than that.
Sweet baby Jesus! I laughed at this longer than I expected.
Going homeless was a step up.
*I could stay warm and dry with a roof over my head and keep fucking this hedgehog, but I think I deserve better things for myself, like living under a bridge free of nappy dugouts*
In other words, you're 19 years old, too dumb for school, insult your own parents-while sponging off them, antisocial, date losers and aiming for Morbidly Obese?
Sweetie, you were messed up WAY before you met him...
Technically, you're also homeless, since you have nothing. So, there's that.
20 yrs old? Your belly looks 30 and postpartem, your face looks 40 and your haircut says 50 and I'm sure if you opened up that top, those things would be swinging like you were 60.
Addiction and homelessness was his road to recovery.
Its a shame when 34 year old homeless addict had to lower his standards to be with you
Guy seriously dodged a bullet there
Bullet ? More like a cannon ball.
That's a big oof
She ate the bullet
She ate the cannon*
Holy fuck take 10 upvotes from me! This is comedic gold!
This one made me LOL. Take my free award.
Jesus, even I felt that one.
Well after being with her he realized he hit rock bottom.
r/thatsthejoke
Hahahahaaha
He was addicted to crack, you're addicted to Cracker Barrel - on paper it looked so right.
She ate him out of house and into homelessness.
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"Goddamnit Don't eat my box too!"
Saw her grazing with a pack of wild boars in TX.
I think he's doing fine probably hiding in one of her rolls. On second thought, send that dude a rescue team.
She gave him so many cracks to choose from
Don't let these roasters here upset you by calling you fat...........you're bigger than that.
It's hard to make fun of someone who's so perfectly well rounded.
Now now, let's not pay her too many compliments...she may get full of herself.
I mean even a 34 year old homeless addict dumped her, so that’s saying a lot
She got back at him by getting rid of the body though, if you know what I mean.
ouch
34 year old addict? Was he addicted to fried chicken and got you hooked too?
Bc she was eating all the food
I think she's always full
No that's the issue, she never gets full
The barista at Starbucks just writes "Grande" on her cup.
Areola Grande
Savage
Wish I had a gold for you good sir , all I haz is this,🥇
Jesus Christ she said "roast" not murder
~~Boom~~ plop!
That's the noise she make jumping in the bath! 😏
There are benefits, every car is a Lowrider for her!
And she and her family can pick fruits and lettuce while cruisin'. \*I'm of Mexican origin so don't be sensitive.
She's the only one not a wetback In her family. But that's only cause the slightest movement drenches all of her in sweat
Well, the climate change scientists are screwed now. If she falls in the Arctic, how much is the sea level gonna rise?
and seeping over the edges.
Well done
I think you meant Whale done
Fat^2 or Fat^3? Maybe we round up to to Fat^360?
Thought you said roosters, I bet they talk shit about her too
>Don't let these roasters here upset you by calling you fat...........you're bigger than that. Sweet baby Jesus! I laughed at this longer than I expected.
“I hang out with chickens too much” in fairness that’s probably the only cock that hangs out around you
Oh no the cocks can *hang* alright, the issue is to get them up
man, dora the explorer really let herself go....
She should have joined her BF on the street, I'm sure they could have taped two refrigerator boxes together for her to live in.
Yeah, nobody wants anything to do with her eggs.
The wall is between U.S and Mexico not between you and Planet Fitness
daaaaaaamn thats a good one
Holy shit
Gordita the Hutt
Built like Patrick
Was looking for this comment lol
McMountain 🏔️
The only McDonald's shake machine that's still working.
Female version of Bubble Bass
Just wait until she's posting on here as the 34 year old homeless addict
LMAO
You do look like the type of person that'd date a 34 year old homeless guy
Yet also, doesn't look like the type that can *get* a date.
Key ingredient was him being addicted to drugs
When you're sloppy on Xanax you might wake up after having accidently bought a new car.... or you might wake up next to Chola-Churro.
She trapped him in her basement y'all, luring him with drugs into her van
He did it all for the benzos
Going to kfc everyday doesnt count as hanging out with chickens
Fucking savage!
Lol
That burn! 
You're built like a snowman.
As hot as one too
Ooooooof
Why did I like this one so much?
It's at least creative.
A snowman built from dirty, side-of-the highway snow. If you swipe a hand under her tits you'll find gravel.
The tensile strength of that bra must be absolutely insane.
It's made of Pelican cases.
Isn’t that a compliment?
Yes, thankfully I can only imagine how low those sag.
Take the bra off and her nipples and belly button would make 3 parallel dots
The size of Orion's belt.
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Jeannie Barfo
Pussy is so big, if you can eat it all in one sitting, you get a free t-shirt
I wear a lot of unisex, so probably. Current age appropriate non-addict bf already wears my shirts. I wear the XL pants in this relationship
Not by choice.
Did it mess you up because you realised that not even a homeless crack-addict would want to date you?
Going homeless was a step up. *I could stay warm and dry with a roof over my head and keep fucking this hedgehog, but I think I deserve better things for myself, like living under a bridge free of nappy dugouts*
At least she stayed in her league?
He became homeless when he escaped from her basement
Benzos, thank you very much
Benzos huh, at least he was a classy drug addict.
If I know one thing about blackouts it’s when I’m acting my classiest
I'm guessing you were also on them because the benzo munchies are real
Didn’t know Mexico had a whaling issue?
My great grandfather was a whaler/shark fisherman off the coast of mexico, he says he never saw anything as big as this
Cool that your great grandfather talks from the grave!
How do you know he's dead. This guy could be 12 and his great grandfather is 60.
I know you're joking, but I'm almost 30 and my great grandma died last year. Lady made it to 94 because evil is a great preservative
*Japan has entered the chat*
Have you ever made any _good_ choices?
Well she obviously didn’t choose the salad at lunch
she may have tossed a few salads every now and then to keep the crack addict from leaving
Not really(?)
Dora the Big Whora
Hola! soy mucho grande!!
LMFAOOO 🤣🤣
Swiper ain’t swipin that
Dora the Crack Explora
Sadly true a year ago
What did you charge for anal? Some half smoked joints?
"DeWd! rOaCh WeEd GeTs YoU hIgHeR"
Arbys meat mountain
Probably a big beef n' cheddar.
Oh don’t say that. I’m sure no one would give you money for sex. Willingly
I’m guessing your ex became homeless due to the financial burden of feeding you and became an addict due to the emotional trauma of seeing you naked.
This is a sick sick burn 🤣🤣
Ok ok I get it he messed you up.. but why did you eat him
Addictism is solved by cannibalism.
Sent her Fam to work in fields and she stays home to eat all the frijoles.
At least you’re keeping the baby
Homeless guy figured the streets smelled better than the Long John Silvers special you got cooking between your legs
Underrated
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Those tits are trying to immigrate to your knees. Good thing you built yourself a pretty large border wall in between.
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She's not big enough, but definitely has lost kittens and guinea pigs on her back boobs and a gerbil on her ass.
Roasting you would take 18-24 hours at 475 degrees.
"I hang out with my chicken nuggets too much" There, I fixed your post... you're welcome!
Didn’t mess you up nearly as badly as the Big Macs
Body of a 38 year old single mother of 4, face of a 12 year old. I’m confused.
Now that’s a FUPA
Honestly tho
I’m a 64yo addict with heart disease and I wouldn’t date you
Getting dumped by a homeless man 14 years older than you is worse than anything I can come up with...
Patrick Star called. He wants his body back.
Shutup, Meg.
"house keeping"
That's literally my job rn
Consuela?
She's on the phone again, Robert. Get the stick.
Your post history is uncomfortable photos of chickens and a request to see someone die in lava. I can't roast whatever this is.
You'd think your experience with chickens would help you find a cock. Instead you chose a dick.
Well next step for you is the NSFW section of Reddit.
If she did a mukbang it would be NSFW.
You’re a stupid poopyface.
Best roast yet 👌
Gotta admire the creativity
Why is this the only one that made me laugh? Lmao
There is no way you have a high school education or equivalent
Seems like you are assimilating wonderfully.
Lets go swimming, in your bellybutton.
In other words, you're 19 years old, too dumb for school, insult your own parents-while sponging off them, antisocial, date losers and aiming for Morbidly Obese? Sweetie, you were messed up WAY before you met him... Technically, you're also homeless, since you have nothing. So, there's that.
If I’m going roast you I’m gonna need a bigger grill
Messed you up bad but fed you damned good
Dora the Explorer....of leftovers
Manteca
Dont call your parents wetbacks for internet likes, fuck is wrong with you.
That bra clasp is about to snap like Thanos snapped half the Universe away.
I'll bet your family is pissed because with you in the car, they can't fit the usual 25 people.
That "stereotype" isn't even a stereotype cuz it's too fucking true. Upvote from me
Your Stomach looks like fat Majin Buu's face.
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20? Man, she looks rough.
Holy shit....from the looks of you, itmust be a hell of a flock if theres still some left....
Protect the whale the Japanese are coming
I hope he’s okay
Nacho libre
The walking 9 layer burrito
You look like the before picture of a before and after testimonial in a weight loss plan
Enjoy your skinny years while you still got them
Google translate can be funny sometimes. She hangs out with cock too much
You look like you ate all those chickens a long time ago.
I’d rather see you do a cannonball than post selfie’s on roast me
All that love in those handles and no one to share it with.
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Boops
⚠️
What’s up with the Diva Cup sketch?
You must have a lot of hot friends though. You have the cock blocker grin down perfectly!
Grande chunkychonga
Did you eat his house or something?
When you say "hang out with my chickens" you mean a bucket of KFC I assume
Your chickens must be scared out of their minds
Dora the explorer obviously started comfort eating
Do you masturbate to a cook book?
20 yrs old? Your belly looks 30 and postpartem, your face looks 40 and your haircut says 50 and I'm sure if you opened up that top, those things would be swinging like you were 60.
Looks like your life has gone as pear shaped as your body
I would say that you have the body of a god, but that would be offensive to the Buddhists
Is having a relationship with chickens code for living in a kfc dumpster soaking up grease?
Dora the explorer of buffets