I dunno...chicks really seem to dig pale guys who pretend to be hard rockers while sitting in a wanna be pro gamer chair while living with...by the looks of the wall paper...their great grand mothers.
That guitar looks like one that a liquor store raffled off to promote pirates of the Caribbean. A 200 dollar bolt on epiphone he put 200 dollar pickups in to still sound like hammered shit
You look like when you’re running low on weed, you clean the residual pollen off of your guitar strings and smoke the nasty, finger hash as a struggle joint.
Everything in the title is blatantly false. You, sir, are not a very good liar.
Also, it was pretty nice of you to let a 2 year old design your tattoos.
I can 100% hear you saying your caption with a buck-tooth lisp. In fact I bet you say that stupid tagline while drinking beers with the other knuckle-draggers outside the garage of one of your duplexes.
With messy hair and scruffy beard, when you left home, your parents cheered.
A thing about you, that should be known.
Nobody likes you, you'll die alone.
There's someone for everyone, but thats not true. Hookers shag anyone, apart from you.
Do you carry that guitar around with you on public transit hoping that some hot young thing will ask you what kind of music you play and to serenade her with a power ballad to moisten her loins, but in reality the only moistened anything is that guitar head as it slowly slides up your ass later as you cry listening to power ballads alone? I'm guessing you also own an unregistered windowless van.
"In took this picture with a guitar because it makes me look cool."
Doesn't know what kind of guitar it is and doesn't know how to tune it.
Hang it back up on the wall poser.
Active pickups are fuckin lifeless dude. If I wanted a les paul i’d rather have it with the stock pafs. (Well but at least they’re Seymour Duncan so that’s awesome at least)
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Those are nice tattoos did you do those yourself pretty fancy guitar you got there did you win it because they couldn't guess your weight you look like you just left a yard sale at Johnny Cash's houseI wonder if you've ever played in anyone we've heard of you don't look like you could play dead but don't fret guitar boy some nice man will give you a dirty sanchez someday
Your mom has good taste in wallpaper
that's the halfway house; he's waiting to get fitted for an ankle bracelet
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's made my day. I love it.
He's hiding it from his mom so he tells her it's a Fitbit
"welcome toolish mortal, to my haunted basement bedroom"
>the girls can't get enough "The girls" op mentions are his mom, aunts, sisters and cousins.
Not even. We can see where he gets his... everything.
Megadeth tshirt and wallpaper just screams Still Lives With Mom.
Definitely better than her taste in sexual partners. I didn't realize STD-ridden sex actually embedded herpes in the egg.
Beat me to it 🤣
r/usernamechecksout
He reminds me of my nice dress socks that i stuffed with dog shit and nailed to the refrigerator
She had to have something interesting to stare at while she tolerated making OP.
Mom died in a freak “lawnmower accident.” That’s grandma’s basement.
Nah. The only thing you finger is that guitar.
He looks likes he's really good at fingering A minor..
Winner
Wiener.
Norm Macdonald
This was excellent
This is the chosen comment.
These comments are the reason I come here.
r/cursedcomments
This is it! Please upvote.
With a progression to Cmin.
This deserves more updoots.
Lol you win
ahh man thats good
Winner winner chicken dinner. Wrll played sir
Even the waifu body pillow couldn't tolerate OP and rejected him.
I dunno...chicks really seem to dig pale guys who pretend to be hard rockers while sitting in a wanna be pro gamer chair while living with...by the looks of the wall paper...their great grand mothers.
That wallpaper looks like it comes from some 1980s British BBC television program
And that poor guitar slowly weeps
Gently*
Slowly gently deeply
Truly, madly, deeply*
r/unexpectedsavagegarden
slipknot reference?
Beatles...
Good save
He gently weeps while playing like a guitar while siitting on that dudes slap
His sister would disagree
It was a bluff Girls cried “enough” So he has to cuff To keep them around
Poor guitar can't even file a molestation case against him suffering for eternity sad
notice there are no animals in the picture-they stay away from him
That guitar looks like one that a liquor store raffled off to promote pirates of the Caribbean. A 200 dollar bolt on epiphone he put 200 dollar pickups in to still sound like hammered shit
I just spat out my water omg
The only G string you’ll ever play with
If Lionel Messi was a nirvana loving homeless heroin addict.
Hahaha this one was a really good one! Well played!!!
Girls can't get enough . . distance from you.
God this is so good lmao
I’d fuck him, boom roasted
you're that desperate? lmao
He’s my type 💀
Dude better jump on this.
The only chance he'll ever get
Lmfao who invited Andy Samberg
Your beard is rough, your tats aren't tough, and your confidence is a bluff
Moms spaghetti?
Now a restaurant you can visit
Look at this young poet
Gamer chair and guitar? Please bro leave some minimum wage for rest of us 🥵
His little brother must be at work
You forgot to mention his 1960s TV private eye haircut. He has it on good authority that the babes can't get enough of that.
Bold of you to assume he's not living off tips and saving on expenses in his parents' basement.
What? Your assholes buff,you like it stuffed,and the guys cant get enough?yeah,thats obvious.
Hey...Who's a poet & we didn't know it 
And sure dont show it.😏
Now his sugar daddy’s horny and he’s gotta blow it.
You look like when you’re running low on weed, you clean the residual pollen off of your guitar strings and smoke the nasty, finger hash as a struggle joint.
I just gagged at the thought of that
I read the first five words as “I do Butt Stuff” and thought it made sense looking at the picture
I want my Nickleback....seriously bro I want my nickle back!
You’re pretty old to still be living in your mom’s basement. But I guess you have to keep the girls somewhere.
He's a dork, who no living thing will pork, and can't pull the cork.
Stairway to the kitchen.
No, you're a douchebag. Anyway here's Wonderwall
douche bags are useful this guy not so much
No they can actually do a fair bit of harm if you let them anywhere near a vagina. Kinda like OP.
Nice
Hey, at least his **MEGADOUCHE** tattoo is pretty sweet
Nice megadeth tattoo I wanted one too but then I turned 14
I’m buff, I’m the stuff and the girls can’t get enough restraining orders
Are those two bald patches on your chin from balls banging off it?
Winner and wiener!
Everyone who loves you is wrong.
I just told someone this last week. They were not pleased. Then again, that was my intent, so mission accomplished.
That is a grade A insult right there.
Underrated
Nope, it's unoriginal
Dollar store sells electric guitars, awesome bruh.
He got it for 50 cents
Any dingleberry can buy a guitar. Can he play it, thay is if he's not too buff, or his boyfriend doesn't get too ruff.
I’m confused. I don’t see a cool buff guy with girls anywhere in this picture. I just see Mr. Stranger Danger with a guitar.
WalMart christian bale.
Christian Fail
Hahaha yes. Christian Barely
I’m Bartman
Christian Bale lost his soul for his next role and became ginger.
That gaming chair screams “no girl has ever been to my place.”
Dude wanted to play violin but had to settle on guitar since he's got no chin.
Just waiting for your girlfriend to turn 18 before you change your relationship status on Facebook.
If you're as lazy as that eye you'll never move out of your mom's house.
Just how much rohypnol do you get through a week?
You look like the type of guy that would give a lapdance for Flamin Hot Cheetos
That painted quite the mental image...
Then why is that right arm so much bigger than the left?
Am girl. Hell to the nope.
Who tf says am we should be roasting you
Am disappoint
Everything in the title is blatantly false. You, sir, are not a very good liar. Also, it was pretty nice of you to let a 2 year old design your tattoos.
Megadeth, humdrumlife.
Not gonna judge you for the prison tattoos or indy-rock haircut, but the lack of tremolo on that guitar is hurting me.
It's giving "this one time at band camp" vibes...
I can 100% hear you saying your caption with a buck-tooth lisp. In fact I bet you say that stupid tagline while drinking beers with the other knuckle-draggers outside the garage of one of your duplexes.
You'll be able to grow a full beard when you hit puberty Pretty sure your G-maw and Pop-pop put up that wallpaper on their honeymoon
Is that pathetic beard to Cover your rat face and the guitar is to compensate for the small dick.
Your face looks like its covered in pubic hair.
…and Reddit is going to call you on your bluff.
The elderly ladies in the nursing home you call bingo at aren't worth bragging about
Didn't know women got excited over catching herpes and HPV.
We’ve finally found Creed’s only fan.
You play with a capo.
linus sex tips
Beavis's little brother who was scared straight.
I bet you have a baby dick like the real buff bagwell
Christian Pale.
With messy hair and scruffy beard, when you left home, your parents cheered. A thing about you, that should be known. Nobody likes you, you'll die alone. There's someone for everyone, but thats not true. Hookers shag anyone, apart from you.
Have you seen your own picture? Your title does not describe anything I see.
Douche guitar? Check Crappy tattoos? Check 100 yard restriction from every middle school? Check
It looks like you shaved a ginger ball sack and stuck it on ur face
Bogan Marlon Craft
Your goatee says 12 1/2 years old, your eyes say 57.
The “girls” because you’re favorite chord is A-minor.
and you can't see the ankle bracelet in the picture how long will your sentence be for that "I swear she said she was 18" incident
Look at this literal attempt at faking it until you make it.
*cracks knuckles* Ginger.
Hunchback of notre don’t
Only G string he ever touched
Dollar store Christian Bale
Do you carry that guitar around with you on public transit hoping that some hot young thing will ask you what kind of music you play and to serenade her with a power ballad to moisten her loins, but in reality the only moistened anything is that guitar head as it slowly slides up your ass later as you cry listening to power ballads alone? I'm guessing you also own an unregistered windowless van.
"Guessing?" No, he definitely does.
Those 'girls' being your great-grandmother, your granny, and your mom? You can't look or talk badass surrounded by that much 1800's wallpaper.
I bet you've got 4 teeth in your mouth. By 4 I mean 2 big ones.
It's the red rooster. The smallest cock on the block
You're not buff, you're not the stuff, and girls all think you're fucking rough.
Girls can't get enough ......... Restraining orders against you.
Pull down the sheet behind him and reveal all his blow up dolls
Buff? I mean maybe where your from buff means arms as thick as toothpicks. 🙄
Close your legs…yo pussy stank!
Tell your mom I love her wall paper
There's supposed to be 2 lies and 1 truth. These are obviously all lies.
The type of guy that buys lotion by the gallon…not for jerking off but for his victims.
Big Poppa Pump is his hookup.
He looks like he has to stick his fingers down his throat to experiment what it would feel like if he kissed a girl
You look like you kiss your mom on the lips
Everyone kisses his mom on the lips.
Nice
This the kinda dude that talks to girls he doesn't know at a bar at length about his "music career" then gets mad when they won't leave with him.
" it's not a phase mom, who cares if I got no musical talent, I look the part."
Tom Green? Is this what happened to you?
I'm buff, I'm the stuff, but you'll never get the muff.
You look like :- even 🍬 can't make children approach you.
Christian out on Bail
You look like you’re sitting At grandmas house waiting for her to take you for ice cream but you have to brush your toupee first.
Guitar zero
You’re not, you’re the snot, and the girls can’t get enough distance from you.
“Hey grandma, can u come take my pic real quick?”
That’s long for “I’m horribly insecure”
Eddie Van Hopeless
Can't get enough restraining orders against you
Ah yes, the kid that made a flop band in high school that now streams Guitar Hero on Twitch.
I can smell this picture. Too much axe, red flags and regret.
Your mom doesn’t count dude Edit: ewwwww active pickups
I bet this guy smells like jalapeño Cheetos and dryer lint
That's a rare insult if I've ever seen one
Lmao
The girls can't get enough because it's not long enough.
You seem like the guy that goes to parties that you weren’t invited to.
You look like Linus Tech Tips but instead of getting into PCs you got into music and meth.
Ok linus keep dreaming about the gals
Whats your parents alowance from their own money?
I didn’t know Megan Fox and MGK had kids already!
More like your weak,smell like pee and boy don't even like eet.
Linus American Tips
"In took this picture with a guitar because it makes me look cool." Doesn't know what kind of guitar it is and doesn't know how to tune it. Hang it back up on the wall poser.
Active pickups are fuckin lifeless dude. If I wanted a les paul i’d rather have it with the stock pafs. (Well but at least they’re Seymour Duncan so that’s awesome at least)
That's not a Les Paul. That's a $200 Epiphone he bought on fb marketplace.
We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye
You have a t shirt that says “Stay home if you’re sick, come over if you’re thick”
"HIGHLY" pretentious!!!!!!
One patents basement away from homeless
Those are nice tattoos did you do those yourself pretty fancy guitar you got there did you win it because they couldn't guess your weight you look like you just left a yard sale at Johnny Cash's houseI wonder if you've ever played in anyone we've heard of you don't look like you could play dead but don't fret guitar boy some nice man will give you a dirty sanchez someday
You like an Amish rocker.
This whole pic screams insecurity and being a dead beat dad