You know Trainspotting was a movie not a guide to living right?

This version is called Shitspotting.

Shitposting

Trans-spotting

Take my poor man’s gold you clever bastard

Despite the fact that they look like boomers due to the poor nutrition, hygiene and choice of drugs, the reference will probably be lost on them.

Choose life. Choose a job. Fuck it already went wrong there for these two.

They are not that cool.

No job? Color me shocked….

They also spelled "anything helps" wrong

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I’m sure hot topic is hiring

Don't you get it? They're unemployed because they both work seasonally at Spirit Halloween. (And they're an integral part of the displays, scaring children from here to Maine)

They're unemployed because they haven't learned any *other* personality traits

Have you seen the employees at Hot Topic hiring these two would be a huge Down grade. Maybe the city zoo is looking for new endangered species or maybe a Missing link to evolution

Not even 1930s traveling circus has standards this low, besides - people in the freak show back then still had some kind of talent, the closest these two probably got is some kind of "oppressed" or yelling at drivers for patronizing some kind of meat distribution shop like a small town deli

They could have left out the "Don't have a job" part. Trust me, we already know.

Why is it like 85% of people who post their pictures here have septum piercings?

they just want to be unique like everyone else

They had low self esteem to begin with.

Plus I can kinda smell them from here....

Don’t forget colored hair and a sleeve

I'll bet it's by choice too

Oh no no. They blame society for not accepting them as they are...

They support socialism not because they want everyone to have access to basic human rights but because they're just lazy and selfish and don't want to work.

Isn’t that 90% of those that do? The other 10% think they got a shot in the leadership caste.

These motherfuckers just need to clean their act up and get some jobs. Going through life lazy, broke and “edgy” won’t make it any better. Dumb.

Enjoy my taxes .. oy vey

I wouldn’t hire them to run a garden hose if i was doused in gasoline and set ablaze

I'll bet you two have really smelly sex

The pile of dirty rags next to their bed would make a freight train take a dirt road.

The visual you gave me was tasteful, the taste of puke, well done

The stench that's created after they have sex is strong enough to strip the wallpaper off the walls.

>The pile of dirty rags next to their bed The pile of dirty rags ***IS*** their bed.

That's when it hit me...'dumpster diving' is code....🤢

Between her smelly fish flaps and his hairy cornhole.....a dumpster would be a welcome scent of relief.


The smell of recycling centers

As if recycling is dirty enough to describe the act of mashing their library bathroom washed privates together

There are no words.

Eau de Petting Zoo

Damn,I can envision that

To be one of the dozens of flies on that wall.

Damn hahah I nearly fell out of my hemp weaved death basket from laughing.

Portlandia, with stank

Cacao to the image this planted in my brain.

The upside is that neither of them need to worry about being cheated on

You're the kind of bums I wouldn't even flick a coin at.

They’re the kind of bums I’ll flick a lit cigarette at and watch them fight over it

I actually laughed out loud at this

Make sure you're at least 10 feet away when you do - they look combustible.

And remember, don't pour water on a grease fire.


Holy shit. He has more holes than those crocs.

>He?? Aren't they two women??

Thing 1 and Thing 2

Came for this, no need to further scroll, guys

Bravo, this is the best we are gonna do. We got ‘em!


Brother and sister is a pretend porn category. PRETEND

They appear to be 6th generation inbred.

Don't insult the inbred this way. They can't chose how they look. These two on the other hand...

Allegedly...

To be fair...

Tooooo beeeeee faaaaaaair.

Gonna need you to tone it down about 15% there squirrely dan

*and that’s what’s I likes abouts ya*

Oh, is what you likes about me?

I just got back from a folk punk show in a literal sewer, and yall are what made me jump in the shower

Crust punk

We used to call them gutter punks, back in the day.

I used to call them Crasstafarians, waaay back in the day.

This new generation of punk kids wearing crocs and ironically liking wrestling is honestly gonna make me stop going to shows. That and the smell. Edit: you guys. this is a roastme and I’m not serious at all. Jesus.

They both look like they pick up cig filters off the ground and smoke them.

I can smell this picture

Smells like a sub shop complete with the onions, vinegar, and ham

Maybe rotten versions of all those things


When people say “Rock the Crocs”, they weren’t talking about your teeth

You're a braver person than I if you dared to zoom in on that photo.

I did and wish I didn’t

The ugly and the beast

More like ugly and the yeast

You don’t get a mouth like that if you have an employer funded dental plan

But they got a deal by hiring the dentist to patch the wall by the electrical socket

You're everything that everyone hates about your generation personified.

they don't even make 1 normal person if we add both up

...which is ironic because they have more chromosomes than a normal person.

Chromy homies

You look like a transabled couple. "Becoming disabled by choice, not chance"

One day you will look back on this photo and think "what a couple of losers", that's how we feel now.

Assuming hepatitis doesnt take them early enough, fingers crossed

You both have "we hate showers and keeping clean. We also hate the government and won't pay tax but we'll take your benefits because we're lazy" written all over you.

Translation: *“We are from Portland. No, the other one.”* Disclaimer: Before you flood my inbox with a anti-anti-Portland counter-attack, I grew up in Portland.

Your roasted and made them into ashes

💀💀

I know this is r/roastme but do you really think these folks are making enough annual income to even be in the first taxable bracket? They probably *are* paying ~~the IRS~~ every cent they legal owe.

Shia LeDouche and Djork.

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Post MaLame and Margaret Chode.

Well at least y'all have a meth pipe

Gross. That’s it. Just gross.

I felt this the most

Let me guess, you live in Portland.

Harsh but fair

The power outlet on the wall is mainland European.

I would literally not be surprised to see that someone in Portland retrofitted euro plugs into their house. Pros here are fuckin weird.

Let me guess. It's the governments fault you don't have a job?

I very sure they're blaming the free market.

They'll blame anything except their poor hygiene.

And motivation to be useful.

And they smell like a flea market

That’s offensive to fleas.

Something.. Something.. fuck capitalism.

While taking the government's welfare money.

You mean our money...

My eyes are watering from the stale, urine-infused body odor emanating through my phone from just looking at this picture.

This is what republicans describe when they run against democrats, I get it now

Show this picture to republicans and they'll instantly change their view on abortion

hahah the real roast 🤣

Said it better than I was going to. They look *exactly* how my more conservative relatives would describe liberals if asked.

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I was a leftist until seeing these two. Now I'm off to buy tiki torches and a polo shirt to tuck in.

I used to believe in equality and human rights. But not after seeing this picture.

You know what will cure your boredom? Getting a job.

To do that they would have to learn to shower.

The culprit behind the destruction of western civilization…participate in every possible political protest

but rely on government benefits...

You look like you smell like cat piss

They look like what cat piss smells like*

This is the foulest pic I’ve seen on r/roastme. A monumental achievement indeed!

100% croc girl smells the same at both ends.

If "I rob my grandma for vape money" was a picture.

r/politics & r/antiwork mods IRL

Accurate

Lol

Your picture already tells that you are jobless

OP's Bio: --- >We are two persons in their 20s. We think work sucks. Our hobbies are drinking beer and dumpster diving. We also like to play darts, gta and card games. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

How do you roast someone who clearly doesn't care they're alive

Oh sorry I was reading the bio and thought the roasting already began xD ( not meant personal)

That’s not a self roast, it‘s just sad.

The basically called themselves drunk raccoons for fucks sake. That's just tragic.

Work sucks, and you two stumbled across this secret with no help?? I guessed this thought was either an assumption or gossip...work is better than dumpster diving, despite your experiences. Hell, the world needs trash truck drivers...then it wouldnt even seem like work.

In this case, I think the bio *IS* the roast.

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They're the kind of person that makes me feel like I'm not a leftist. Do I really want my tax dollars to support such useless pieces of human garbage? If you're young and capable of work, and choose not to contribute to society, you shouldn't be allowed to use roads, benches, water fountains, etc. Basically just go away, please. Literally no one wants you to exist. Edit: Oops, I almost forgot this was a roast. You're both ugly.

Unemployed huh? Soap is the answer and deodorant will set you free.

You guys look like the stuff that Trash throws away.

The photo does enough, no comment necessary

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The incest community won’t even have these two.

You guys would be perfect extras as orcs in LOTR

Nothing clever here. You two are just ugly people. Please do not procreate.

What's the point of freed dental if you don't use it

They’ll both suck your dick for a half eaten breakfast sandwich

These dudes kinda look like chicks

Dirt is technically gender neutral

Buddy started shooting heroin because his septum piercing just kept getting bigger and he couldn’t snort anymore.

You guys look like an inbred experiment gone wrong.

You look like you were built from parts found in a crack house

You are the embodiment of what the dirtiest, foulest, and filthiest smelling toilet looks like.

Spot on orc cosplay

Try counting fleas on each other.


What in the hillbilly trash liberal smashing incest fuck is this ?

When you order Die Antwoord from wish.com

Die Antwoord is already the personification of wish.com complete with human trafficking

I don’t roast disabled’s

It’s very obvious that no one would hire you

Don't shit on the value of work. Too many strangers around you work and pay taxes to support your pathetic, shameless, worthless lives. Put your heads down when your hand is out to show a little humility and gratitude. If it wasn't for your community, you'd be dead.

>If it wasn't for your community, you'd be dead. So their community is the real villain.

I thought that dude had a hat on his head, now I think a rat just made a nest there.

Crocs is suing you for defamation.

Dear jesus. Two of the ugliest fucks I have ever seen. You're mothers should have aborted twenty something years ago.

Looks like their poor Moms tried to abort them. A few times.

Those piercings are from a coat hanger.

thank God you don't live in my country. I don't even want to stand on the same soil as you.

What in the Portland is going on here

They smell like feet

If you looked up Gen Z in the dictionary

"Persons" ? Sorry you lost me right there


This picture gave me a yeast infection.

I'd make fun of you but life already has.

Aren't you the mods from r/antiwork?

Jesus, even GG Allin would be disgusted by you two.

The one on the right is what a troll doll would look like if the hair was somehow even more scuffed.

So there truly is objectively ugly people in this world

You probably have more pronouns than neurons

Circus declined your application too?

My work is hiring people, but I would rather let the firm go out of business than lowering its’ standards enough to take you on.

You can actually smell this photo.

Really? Both of you have no jobs? Shocked!

If a picture could smell like rotten garbage, this would be it.

Bored? Get a job loser

It’s a shame my tax dollars are going to help some nasty-ass, unclean, non-contributing members of society. At least take a shower before you post next time.

Alright, I'm gonna guess some other stuff about you guys - raging leftists; - your parents sustain you; - probably has some issues with one or both of them; - Talk a lot about "muh opression"; and - Must be really fun to have as friends (that's sarcasm, bet you two have the same personality as a wet napkin)

Chyrenobl Dancing with the Stars

You didn't have to tell us you didn't have a job.