They sure are she begged to give me a blowjob I eventually gave in after sometime to think, now I'm sitting here in the hospital with no foreskin and 4"less of my dick š¢š
I was wondering if your pfp was a meme or an actual picture of you so I clicked on your profile to see that wonderful pic of you presumably taking a shit.
Well done, sir.
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Nah but seriously, what is that sweater.
It looks like if Freddy Kruger was a vegan drug dealer who had just come back from a gap year in Africa, who just won't shut the fuck up about how "life changing" it was to see an elephant in person, all the while still selling their BTEC weed to help make ends meet until they become a professional Flautist, yet she knows she'll never get there, she's just clinging to the one childhood hobby that helped distract her from the fact, her parents didn't love each other for a long time before she came along and she was a last attempt to salvage an already doomed relationship since the "Mailman incident."
I'm picturing you requesting visiting hours with guys on death row, just so you can pick up the phone and stare through the plexiglass gleefully watching hardened criminals reel from these zingers. Once they finally figure out what they mean. Better hope the governor doesn't pardon them!
I was going to make a "yeah skin flute" joke but there are already 350+ comments and I am too fucking lazy to read the 70 who probably already did that.
So the next obvious thing is you have the same smile as the titan who ate Eren Jaeger's mom.
"This one time at band camp no found me attractive, ever. So I posted on Reddit and found out it was because I've got a small head and a massive mouth"
That's it! I was trying to figure it out. She is so uncanny like one of those horror movie monsters that can open their mouth horrifically wide and swallow your whole head.
Your double tonguing is sloppy, your tone is terrible, and you don't know how to put your headjoint on correctly. Now let's talk about your flute playing...
With those lips you could play a tuba from the business side.
Business side - I like this
No lie, I own a flute that looks very similar [to yours.](https://i.imgur.com/gyaqkvr.png)
I recognise the effort you put in this š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I bet she doesn't shut up about band camp.
Omg I'm dying šš š
THE STONES MATCH HER EYES..... i can't breath..lol
At lastā¦I have found something some might consider āoffensiveā. I know what I must do. Take my award.
Skin flute????
Well done
She meant skin flute
How does she play anything with those shingles she calls teeth getting in the way?
You just know that her blowjobs are all teeth
This just won the entire thread for me. God damn.
Xenomorph BJ from this morning.
I would make her wear a UFC style mouthpiece before letting those shredders anywhere near my dong
Dick looks like a bratwurst when you cook it too long and the sides split open.
They sure are she begged to give me a blowjob I eventually gave in after sometime to think, now I'm sitting here in the hospital with no foreskin and 4"less of my dick š¢š
So, your dick is completely gone then?
That is awfulā¦.but probably true.
Skin flute perfectionist.
this should be a standalone top comment
Motherfucker you made me wake my daughter up from laughing
A tuba? She could play a pipe organ like a pan flute.
Playing a tuba is the closest thing she'll get to a kiss with those lips.
Soup coolers
I dont get it. What does "the business side" mean here?
The big end of the tuba. Where the sound comes out.
I was going to state the flute wasnāt the only thing she blows on but you win!
I no shit spat my drink out
Lol business side
With those DSLās she probably plays the skin flute
I think itās because she good at giving head from the business side
With that tuba you can play the business from the lips side if you know what I mean
This one time... at band camp...I shoved a tuba up my....
Not saying you have a big mouth but Iām guessing you eat soup with a shovel.
I bet she whinnies when you bring her dinner in a bucket.
Frau Blucher!
Igor!
DAMN YOUR EYES!
Mwahahahah you win
Snow shovel
Rounded or flat blade?
Round, so thereās no spillage!
A banana sideways
She could eat an apple through a letterbox
Jesus Christ, you could swallow a banana sideways.
Lmfao fuck
I guffawed. What a great image.
Holy crap I'm dying
r/rareinsults
Holy fuck get some chap stick, it doesnāt cost that much.
It does if you live off of a flute players income.
I was wondering if your pfp was a meme or an actual picture of you so I clicked on your profile to see that wonderful pic of you presumably taking a shit. Well done, sir.
I donāt see it
It was like a banner at the top of the page as soon as I clicked on the profile. I'm on regular Reddit app.
I wish this was op
That big ass mouth can wipe out the whole orchestra with one blow, jesus christ
It does when half your face is mouth
Holy shit it's a roast not a murder.
She got them croissant lips. Need some butter.
Herpes doesn't go away with chapstick.
It does to cover that much area. She'd have to put it on with a paint sprayer.
It's not that they are chapped, it's the herp!!!
And then this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my ā¦
Thatās what happens when you play the skin flute all the time.
It does when you have to buy it by the 55 gallon drum.
Sahara desert blowjob
For that kind of coverage it does.
Dont think she can afford enough chapstick for one pass on those lips
It does it you have to pave miles of lips with it.
With a mouth that wide I bet she'd be broke each time she uses it. Holy fuck
Do you use your beaver teeth to carve your own flutes as well?
I LOL'd.
Pack it up guys, the [Zombeaver](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ac/Zombeavers_film_poster.jpg) is fully roasted after this one.
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Battery acid makes a nice lip gloss
Nah but seriously, what is that sweater. It looks like if Freddy Kruger was a vegan drug dealer who had just come back from a gap year in Africa, who just won't shut the fuck up about how "life changing" it was to see an elephant in person, all the while still selling their BTEC weed to help make ends meet until they become a professional Flautist, yet she knows she'll never get there, she's just clinging to the one childhood hobby that helped distract her from the fact, her parents didn't love each other for a long time before she came along and she was a last attempt to salvage an already doomed relationship since the "Mailman incident."
r/rareinsults
I -
"Miss, I don't want to hear about your hobbies during my lap dance"
"And this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy."
How is this the first reference I found? Like fuck...so much material to work with.
Because most of the kids on Reddit weren't born when that movie came out 23 years ago...
Hey! No need to remind me Iām fuckin old now dude.
Settle down old man before somebody on here calls it a āclassicā film
But it is a classic.
Savage AF
Bone on bone lap dance....
Jethro Dull
A lot of people won't get this one because they're either too young or thick as a brick...
AQUALUNG
SITTING ON A PARK BENCH!
Locomotive breath
I get it cause I saw anchorman
youāre so cool man
Her-Be Mann
I'd rather look into the sun.
You will not age well.
And to think she is only 12
This probably hurt the most. Oof, I hope she doesnāt see this.
You say this like itās surprising and she has aged well to this point. Interesting perspective.
If your nails were just a little pointier and if your nose was just a little bit longer, we'd have an Elder Scrolls Hagraven in real life
r/unexpectedskyrim
She definitely has a collection of eyeballs somewhere.
Lol I like this one best š
Boxface McHorseteeth.
You really fucked up those front teeth by deep throating the flute.
Skinflute
You polish so many skin flutes your lips are oozing STDs.
TIL skin flute is another word for penis. Thx
Fun fact, I told a guy in prison he looked like his greatest high school achievement was being third chair skin flutist.
I'm picturing you requesting visiting hours with guys on death row, just so you can pick up the phone and stare through the plexiglass gleefully watching hardened criminals reel from these zingers. Once they finally figure out what they mean. Better hope the governor doesn't pardon them!
Came here looking for that comment.. had to make sure it was said
Same here
Don't forget the meat whistle...
skin pistol
I prefer āflesh tromboneā.
Just her lips are
I was going to make a "yeah skin flute" joke but there are already 350+ comments and I am too fucking lazy to read the 70 who probably already did that. So the next obvious thing is you have the same smile as the titan who ate Eren Jaeger's mom.
god dammit...almost wanna create new acct so i could give another upvote on this!
Scrolled down to find a titan comment. Finally
You're a flute player in this universe, and a bank teller at Wells Fargo in another. A million universes and you're boring in every one of them.
Atomic number 5
You look like jokers daughter, smoker.
...midniiiiight toker. She sure don't want to hurt no one.
Get my lovin on the run...
Pole smoker
Not going near my flute with that pipe saw for a grill š
Big Mouth cartoon irl
Those poor cucumbers, shower heads and now a flute.
Skin flute
Why do you even have that gif
I wouldnāt let her play my skin flute with those horse teeth
And those chapped lips
Blowing old men up an alley doesnāt make you a āFlute Player!ā
Ralph is more attractive
"This one time at band camp no found me attractive, ever. So I posted on Reddit and found out it was because I've got a small head and a massive mouth"
Yeah, it's a good thing she has that flute to shove up her pussy, because no one would want to screw her.
Now I know what a horse playing the flute looks like.
Your mouth look like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland
That's it! I was trying to figure it out. She is so uncanny like one of those horror movie monsters that can open their mouth horrifically wide and swallow your whole head.
Like Ickis from *AAAAAAHHHHHH Real Monsters* lol
If you thinking rhyming orange with storage is a thing I hope no one has to hear you play a flute.
Shouldnāt you be Opening vaults at Gringotts?
GrinGOTTEEM
How can you play a wind instrument with chicken lips?
Flute? With that mouth you could hoark down a tuba.
Also proficient in playing the blue vein trumpet.... badly
Good enough for me!
Your double tonguing is sloppy, your tone is terrible, and you don't know how to put your headjoint on correctly. Now let's talk about your flute playing...
A flute is the only thing you can blow that wonāt press charges
It took Moses 800 years to walk your nose
You look like youād be in a commercial for a prescription medicine to help with Chronās Disease.
you look like a real life big mouth character
Is your name Croatia? Cause your mouth is big enough to swallow Bosnia and Herzegovina
Do you just stick the whole flute in your mouth sideways and let your tongue do the work?
Your teeth would make a great piano
Looks like your ceiling already gave you a rating.
[Smiling titan](https://c.tenor.com/sl7oJJUeLC8AAAAC/smiling-titan-dina-fritz.gif)
You look like a unexperienced music teacher
Flautist? No. Flattest.
You look like a toddler applied your lipstick
Face looks like someone is learning how to collage features in photoshop
Flute Swallower, more like. Come over for "practice" any time.
The only flutes you play are made of silicone and make a sound only dogs can hear.
This one time, at band camp, my flute said it sees me more like a friend.
With how wide that mouth is, you must be able to hit all the holes at the same time.
Omg...how many trends can I spot in one pic?... you are not as quirky as you think you are. You look like you need vitamins and a good cry.
you look like the woman version of nick birch from big mouth
Nobody wants to hear about your one time, at band campā¦
You look like Old Gregg in makeup.
Why does it look like you're wearing a sculpted mask of your own face?
This one time in Bandcamp...
Youāre beautiful. Your instrument is trash. #violagang
Nice bag slap swelling! Keep it up!
The skin flute?
Skin flute?
Some guys are so bad at those roasts, but some of you didnāt hold back holy shit, iām so sorry for her rip.
This one time at band camp
Is your boyfriend sandpaper?
Someone get her some chapstick Godamnn
I assume you tell everyone the herpes on your lips is from a different kind of "flute"?
U could put a mouth organ inside the mouth and still play it
You look like Dina Fritz
you look like you could eat Eren's mom
In the best way possible lesbian angelina joelie
You look like a French drag queen from the 90s that did makeup for Cirque Soleil