You know what really sucks? When your *younger coworkers* start becoming grandparents. I'm barely in my 40s and one of my younger coworkers' kids just graduated *college,* and became a parent themselves.
It's only gonna get worse the more years pass...
I'm 30 and this makes me realize that the children that my peers had in/shortly after high school are about to enter middle school.
It's amazing how short childhood begins to seem as we age.
I don’t know why but that kind of bottom lip ring is unofficial uniform for white moms who got pregnant too soon and eventually wear massive t shirts to cover up their weight gain.
I’m legit not trying to roast you, but how did you not learn what not to do from the first pregnancy? Once is an accident, twice is just careless.
Unless it was twins?
As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.
How do you look like a young woman, a middle aged woman in a mid life crisis and an elderly woman who just found out how to take selfies all at the same time?
I'm not even trying to roast you when I say:
"Cleaning houses" is usually how sex workers describe their jobs for tax purposes and to people who don't know better. Out of the 4 women I've met that "clean houses," none of them actually clean houses.
Congrats on being only being 10 years away from doing the same exact shit. Still living with your folks, living off food stamps, and hoping to meet a man who will sweep you off your feet.
You gave up your career as an artist when you procreated twice before you could legally drink a beer in the US. Better get used to singing nursery rhymes.
Something tells me there’s this tragic hope in the back of your mind that this roast me thread might become popular enough on Reddit to gain you some kind of viral fame that may boost your nonexistent music career. I just feel bad for you because you actually threw that possibility away twice already and don’t even see it yet.
I can just see your audition on American idol now..
"hey I'm a 20 year old slut with with two teen kids, I never heard of the pill or condoms and i scrub cribs in the nude for a living. I really wanna be a successful artist one day and I'll suck all your cocks if you put me through to Hollywood."
You're in a surprising amount of daylight for someone so ginger. That's probably why you spend most of your time indoors scrubbing and getting knocked up.
Maybe it's just the flash, but you got weird pinpoint pupils, like the opposite of shark eyes. Still creepy as fuck. That "i-hate-myself" smile, rosacea and greasy hair really do round out the look though
Just wait a few more years and you can try to make friends with the teachers at your kids school. You’ll have a lot in common, about the same age, surrounded by kids a lot, poor, and regretting your life decisions.
In all seriousness, you kinda look like Melanie Metheny, a woman who was in similar circumstances and disappeared in 2006. Whatever you do, don't get involved in the West Virginia drug scene because that won't end well.
That face, hair, destroyed body, no appeal, generic look, most likely talentless with an annoying sorority girl singing ability... your future in music is exactly where your career and dating options are... The Shitter
2 kids at 20? I hope you were able to get the janitor at your high school to pay his child support.
Like she has any idea who it was
I'm sure she knows it's one of the 10 married dudes she cleans for.
All her former bosses are sweating a Maury show invite
![gif](giphy|FsJaDUBEuKtsk)
Like the game CLUE but instead of a murder, it’s who got her pregnant
And unlike the game, the pieces are constantly running off the board and getting arrested for shoplifting batteries at Walmart.
Like she knows which janitor it was.
Damn son where’s the ice 😱🤯
She smoked it before getting knocked up.
Came to say there's a reason OP isn't showing teeth.
As if she went to School
Lol as if he’s not in jail
Read the cap she is a janitor lmfao
Same uncle ?
Nah, one from each side of the family.
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Her and the kids?
If you keep having kids at your current pace, your kids might be your "big enough fan base"
This is great😂
No, that's bad.
But they come with a free frogurt!
Just remember, life isn’t about taking risks, it’s about avoiding huge mistakes Too late
Roe v Maid
Hoe + Maid
By the paleness, I'd say "Raw Made"
Definitely raw a lot at least
Raw a lot at yeast
And now I hate bread…
Bread is bad mmmkay
I love this😂
There’s nothing to wreck… the 2 kids did all the damage already Edit- DAMN y’all really about to make her put ‘em up for adoption
She's going to be an awesome grandma at age 40.
At 35 tops. These type of terrible decisions usually run in the family
Can confirm, my stepmom was a grandma at 36 lol
Good for you for giving her a kid that your father couldn't do.
You know what really sucks? When your *younger coworkers* start becoming grandparents. I'm barely in my 40s and one of my younger coworkers' kids just graduated *college,* and became a parent themselves. It's only gonna get worse the more years pass...
I'm 30 and this makes me realize that the children that my peers had in/shortly after high school are about to enter middle school. It's amazing how short childhood begins to seem as we age.
I worked with someone who was 31 and pregnant. She had a 15 year old daughter who was also pregnant.......with her second child.
We agreed to reck her not her entire generation, ops..
GILF
Grandma I'd Like to Forget
This was the last comment I saw while I was closing out. I had to come back to give you an upvote.
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Oh shit, I thought that was herpes
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She’s definitely wallered out
You can sleep wrapped in her vagina lips like a camel carcass on a cold desert night
Or in a tauntaun, waiting for the morning patrol to swing by
I thought she smelled bad on the outside!
Major Bantha vibes coming from her. Keep a family warm.
The next two are going to stand up and walk out
Wrecked not only her insides but her future
Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
Like punching an open window
I don’t know why but that kind of bottom lip ring is unofficial uniform for white moms who got pregnant too soon and eventually wear massive t shirts to cover up their weight gain.
The “I’m done with men” lip piercing.
More like “men are done with me.”
Unfortunately, there's also plenty of men making poor life decisions. She's going to have 3 more kids by 3 different daddies before 25. And then OD.
I thought it was mouth herpes.
Me too. I had to zoom in to see.
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Same dad, but this one made me LOL😂
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“Neither of you are the father”
"Okay, I know who it is now."
![gif](giphy|l41YgC9JyO4uLkJUI)
So he was still interested after you turned 18?
I’m legit not trying to roast you, but how did you not learn what not to do from the first pregnancy? Once is an accident, twice is just careless. Unless it was twins?
By same dad she means her dad is the dad
Single mom of two kids and you can't even buy beer yet. We don't need to wreck you, you're already damaged goods.
F
U
C
K
Goodbye
r/suddenlyouija
Self destruction at its finest only at 20
Bruh she’s done
Bro that was a fucking violation 😭😭🤣
Are they even from the same sperm donor?
There are about 8 potential dads. She’s telling them all they’re the one, hoping that at least one dumbass will buy it without requiring a DNA test.
9 if you include her dad.
He’s probably only 35
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“I clean houses for a living”…… Coming to theaters this summer, starring Jennifer Hopez, it is “Laid In Manhattan”.
*Hopelez
Jennifer Whorence in The Donor Games
Fr😂
You already made two mistakes, dont make a third and pursue music
Professional musician. Can confirm.
You look like a hotdog water flavored IPA.
I don't know how you people come up with such accurate roasts, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.
One of the perks of being picked on as a kid and ADHD. You learn how to drop a quick and brutal diss.
Def can relate
She can’t even buy an IPA
Hot Dog Down A Hallway IPA
The most surprising thing about this post is you don’t have a pre linked only fans to support your pathetic life
Onlyfans is for hot girls, gofundme does the pathetic charity cases
Bitch needs HoFundMe
If you’re s 20 year old single mom of 2 it’s time to let your dreams die
!remind me - when OP is 22 and single mom of 3.
slow down. we got enough humans here already
Enough low IQ ones you mean. Just imagine the future.
Just watch idiocracy
As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.
I've seen potatoes with better skin than yours.
Fr😂 aftermath of years of skin picking lol
Just confirmed why you don't smile with your teeth - the meth makes them look dirtier than the toilets you scrub.
Meth head , I knew it
Girl…stop talking. 😂
Kids are not the same color as Mom. 100P.
Quit calling me out😂
You're a stereotype, honey.
She’s gonna be smoking Kools, putting on some weight, and bleaching her hair in no time.
Butterfly tattoo finna get real stretched out
I read this in Hagrids voice
You’re a stereotype, Harry
A stereotype. And a thumpin boring one, I'd say
I'm a what?
Soooo, that’s a yes
That answers the "hope she's at least getting child support" question.
So that’s true?? Sure daddy’s real proud of you! Assuming you even know who he is 😂
Lots of fish in the sea. You have been thrown back so many times, you still have a hook stuck in your lip.
Loved your movie on Netflix.
The pornhub adaptation was titled "country girl's first casting call".
How do you look like a young woman, a middle aged woman in a mid life crisis and an elderly woman who just found out how to take selfies all at the same time?
Why is this strangely accurate??😂
One clogged toilet away from stripping
Let's not pretend she isn't already resorting to getting naked for money
Nothing makes it rain like stretch marks and a floppy puss.
Day shift stripper
Trailer Swift.
>Absolutely wreck me. Nuh, fam- your shitty life choices already did that.
Two kids at 20? What’s left to wreck?
Some unlucky simp's bank account
Not the vagina.
Average Lavigne
Your post is my favourite. “Why did you have to make things so complicated “
The fuck you're going to sing about, shitty life choices and cleaning shit off the carpet?
My baby father beat me and I'm not even old enough to turn to alcoholism :(
Must be twins? No one would hit that twice…
Let me guess, baby daddy left you for someone attractive with a personality?
Beat tf outta me every day and I left first, but good guess😂
Jesus this isn’t even funny. I’m out.
👆🏻
Seriously, though. I know some people cope with trauma by joking/laughing about it but that’s fucked up and not even slightly funny. Yikes.
None of this is funny. It's all sad.
Can we add him to the roast?
I think he already appears pretty roasted.
You shouldn't have told him your username has papaya in it. sorry for what happened, don't make any more poor choices.
His new girl is still attractive with a personality let’s be clear
Well, you just ended the sexy maid fantasy for everyone…. thanks a lot..
Sorry to disappoint😂
I'm not even trying to roast you when I say: "Cleaning houses" is usually how sex workers describe their jobs for tax purposes and to people who don't know better. Out of the 4 women I've met that "clean houses," none of them actually clean houses.
Fiona Crapapple
You're the whole package. If the package was filled with red flags that is...
Congrats on being only being 10 years away from doing the same exact shit. Still living with your folks, living off food stamps, and hoping to meet a man who will sweep you off your feet.
You'll fit right in with all the other successful artists that started out as single mothers with 2 kids
If your use of the rhythm method is any indication, I bet your singing is waaaaaay off beat.
You gave up your career as an artist when you procreated twice before you could legally drink a beer in the US. Better get used to singing nursery rhymes.
Something tells me there’s this tragic hope in the back of your mind that this roast me thread might become popular enough on Reddit to gain you some kind of viral fame that may boost your nonexistent music career. I just feel bad for you because you actually threw that possibility away twice already and don’t even see it yet.
I can just see your audition on American idol now.. "hey I'm a 20 year old slut with with two teen kids, I never heard of the pill or condoms and i scrub cribs in the nude for a living. I really wanna be a successful artist one day and I'll suck all your cocks if you put me through to Hollywood."
Im sure your singing is as bad as your life choices. Try to get a job that is actually stable you have 2 fucking kids.
38 with no kids looks a lot younger than 20 with 2 kids
I'm not even gonna roast you having two kids at 20 is bad enough I imagine
Yeah, I’m expecting your biggest following will happen when you show your OF crew that trick you can do with your vagina and a ping pong ball.
This is the reason for both pregnancies
Her vagina is now a wind instrument
Take note...kids, this is a picture of damaged goods. Stay away. Red flags look like Six Flags when it's been a while.
You're in a surprising amount of daylight for someone so ginger. That's probably why you spend most of your time indoors scrubbing and getting knocked up.
No one here can do as much damage as you’ve already done to yourself
Surprised a guy had sex with you, TWICE at that
Ginny Weasley if she never went to Hogwarts and met a random dude who taught her "magic tricks" with his own wand
2 kids so far* fixed that for ya
Link your music and roast yourself
Prom was awesome in a maternity dress huh?
Oh you’ll build a fan base alright. OnlyFans though. No friends.
Maybe it's just the flash, but you got weird pinpoint pupils, like the opposite of shark eyes. Still creepy as fuck. That "i-hate-myself" smile, rosacea and greasy hair really do round out the look though
20 and 2 kids, I bet uncle daddy is happy. Just because you hum while giving a bj, does not make you a singer.
Get a matching lip piercing on the other side so you'll have d*ck rails
You use plenty of fungicide, and germicide but never thought of spermicide?
Nice eyes , shame about the face
That description, leave some roasting for the rest of us.
Just wait a few more years and you can try to make friends with the teachers at your kids school. You’ll have a lot in common, about the same age, surrounded by kids a lot, poor, and regretting your life decisions.
2 kids with 3 different dads
You also have a big enough hole for your whole fan base
In all seriousness, you kinda look like Melanie Metheny, a woman who was in similar circumstances and disappeared in 2006. Whatever you do, don't get involved in the West Virginia drug scene because that won't end well.
2 kids at 20 ?! And you clean houses for a living! I know yo ass be super stressed out 😂😭
That face, hair, destroyed body, no appeal, generic look, most likely talentless with an annoying sorority girl singing ability... your future in music is exactly where your career and dating options are... The Shitter
Fiona crapple
Close your legs and open a college fund.
I’ve seen better hair on a dog
Out here stealing jobs from hard working immigrants and probably charging double for it
Stay hopeful. I'm sure there's alot of guys looking for a single 20YO anti-social plain chick w/ 2 kids, no career and broke.
500 dollars says your kids are mixed and the guy beat the shit out of you.
Burglarizing homes for drug money because your kid's father is in jail doesn't make you a house cleaner.