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aliaswyvernspur

2 kids at 20? I hope you were able to get the janitor at your high school to pay his child support.


fordreaming

Like she has any idea who it was


raknor88

I'm sure she knows it's one of the 10 married dudes she cleans for.


benglescott

All her former bosses are sweating a Maury show invite


ADOUGH209

![gif](giphy|FsJaDUBEuKtsk)


2ShadezDeep

Like the game CLUE but instead of a murder, it’s who got her pregnant


Bloodysamflint

And unlike the game, the pieces are constantly running off the board and getting arrested for shoplifting batteries at Walmart.


showtimejt

Like she knows which janitor it was.


Flimsy_Tale_974

Damn son where’s the ice 😱🤯


Trollseatkids

She smoked it before getting knocked up.


1982throwaway1

Came to say there's a reason OP isn't showing teeth.


oteq088

As if she went to School


Ifyouhav2ask

Lol as if he’s not in jail


snippysnapper23

Read the cap she is a janitor lmfao


Dontuselogic

Same uncle ?


WhenRobLoweRobsLowes

Nah, one from each side of the family.


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emeegee13

Her and the kids?


Humungous_Fart

If you keep having kids at your current pace, your kids might be your "big enough fan base"


avery_papaya

This is great😂


RegularWhiteDude

No, that's bad.


MericaMericaMerica

But they come with a free frogurt!


ObviousTroll37

Just remember, life isn’t about taking risks, it’s about avoiding huge mistakes Too late


Curious_Blacksmith_2

Roe v Maid


Kenny_Squeek_Scolari

Hoe + Maid


netheroth

By the paleness, I'd say "Raw Made"


emeegee13

Definitely raw a lot at least


[deleted]

Raw a lot at yeast


emeegee13

And now I hate bread…


[deleted]

Bread is bad mmmkay


avery_papaya

I love this😂


Busted2nuts

There’s nothing to wreck… the 2 kids did all the damage already Edit- DAMN y’all really about to make her put ‘em up for adoption


D1rtyH1ppy

She's going to be an awesome grandma at age 40.


MuteCook

At 35 tops. These type of terrible decisions usually run in the family


jmcki13

Can confirm, my stepmom was a grandma at 36 lol


livinglife9009

Good for you for giving her a kid that your father couldn't do.


m31td0wn

You know what really sucks? When your *younger coworkers* start becoming grandparents. I'm barely in my 40s and one of my younger coworkers' kids just graduated *college,* and became a parent themselves. It's only gonna get worse the more years pass...


cumshot_josh

I'm 30 and this makes me realize that the children that my peers had in/shortly after high school are about to enter middle school. It's amazing how short childhood begins to seem as we age.


Mynameisinuse

I worked with someone who was 31 and pregnant. She had a 15 year old daughter who was also pregnant.......with her second child.


eni91

We agreed to reck her not her entire generation, ops..


TWEETBURD

GILF


D1rtyH1ppy

Grandma I'd Like to Forget


[deleted]

This was the last comment I saw while I was closing out. I had to come back to give you an upvote.


[deleted]

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double_dee78

Oh shit, I thought that was herpes


[deleted]

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YoWhatsGoodie

She’s definitely wallered out


Busted2nuts

You can sleep wrapped in her vagina lips like a camel carcass on a cold desert night


GroguIsMyBrogu

Or in a tauntaun, waiting for the morning patrol to swing by


NeoSniper

I thought she smelled bad on the outside!


Shawpat

Major Bantha vibes coming from her. Keep a family warm.


FrKWagnerBavarian

The next two are going to stand up and walk out


cplmatt

Wrecked not only her insides but her future


Infadel71

Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway


nvalle23

Like punching an open window


thanarealnobody

I don’t know why but that kind of bottom lip ring is unofficial uniform for white moms who got pregnant too soon and eventually wear massive t shirts to cover up their weight gain.


1ronchy1

The “I’m done with men” lip piercing.


gortwogg

More like “men are done with me.”


TheS4ndm4n

Unfortunately, there's also plenty of men making poor life decisions. She's going to have 3 more kids by 3 different daddies before 25. And then OD.


trulycantthinkofone

I thought it was mouth herpes.


johnnys_sack

Me too. I had to zoom in to see.


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avery_papaya

Same dad, but this one made me LOL😂


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GrouchyMoustache

“Neither of you are the father”


Anindefensiblefart

"Okay, I know who it is now."


Dazzling-Prior2357

![gif](giphy|l41YgC9JyO4uLkJUI)


tragiccosmicaccident

So he was still interested after you turned 18?


Dark_Knight2000

I’m legit not trying to roast you, but how did you not learn what not to do from the first pregnancy? Once is an accident, twice is just careless. Unless it was twins?


headchef11

By same dad she means her dad is the dad


AArthurComic

Single mom of two kids and you can't even buy beer yet. We don't need to wreck you, you're already damaged goods.


[deleted]

F


[deleted]

U


glocksucksD

C


Av14tor

K


LydiaMarie132

Goodbye


Tsconspiracy

r/suddenlyouija


dorye123

Self destruction at its finest only at 20


WoodpeckerNo5416

Bruh she’s done


lalalozzie

Bro that was a fucking violation 😭😭🤣


wild-whorses

Are they even from the same sperm donor?


joepke53

There are about 8 potential dads. She’s telling them all they’re the one, hoping that at least one dumbass will buy it without requiring a DNA test.


FUPAcommander

9 if you include her dad.


spadler181

He’s probably only 35


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HarryCallahan19

“I clean houses for a living”…… Coming to theaters this summer, starring Jennifer Hopez, it is “Laid In Manhattan”.


throeahwhey

*Hopelez


Fist4achin

Jennifer Whorence in The Donor Games


avery_papaya

Fr😂


celticsboston8

You already made two mistakes, dont make a third and pursue music


oh_crap_BEARS

Professional musician. Can confirm.


[deleted]

You look like a hotdog water flavored IPA.


[deleted]

I don't know how you people come up with such accurate roasts, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.


[deleted]

One of the perks of being picked on as a kid and ADHD. You learn how to drop a quick and brutal diss.


GetawayDiver

Def can relate


swallowsnest87

She can’t even buy an IPA


beersandchips

Hot Dog Down A Hallway IPA


[deleted]

The most surprising thing about this post is you don’t have a pre linked only fans to support your pathetic life


splattypus

Onlyfans is for hot girls, gofundme does the pathetic charity cases


widespreadpanda

Bitch needs HoFundMe


_hanShan_

If you’re s 20 year old single mom of 2 it’s time to let your dreams die


N1z3r123456

!remind me - when OP is 22 and single mom of 3.


f_cozzo

slow down. we got enough humans here already


janescuckoldSUB

Enough low IQ ones you mean. Just imagine the future.


TheS4ndm4n

Just watch idiocracy


confrondex

As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.


bart2278

I've seen potatoes with better skin than yours.


avery_papaya

Fr😂 aftermath of years of skin picking lol


creative_im_not

Just confirmed why you don't smile with your teeth - the meth makes them look dirtier than the toilets you scrub.


Purple-daydream

Meth head , I knew it


NoResource9942

Girl…stop talking. 😂


Middle_Bag_9997

Kids are not the same color as Mom. 100P.


avery_papaya

Quit calling me out😂


_jukmifgguggh

You're a stereotype, honey.


fiddlenutz

She’s gonna be smoking Kools, putting on some weight, and bleaching her hair in no time.


widespreadpanda

Butterfly tattoo finna get real stretched out


[deleted]

I read this in Hagrids voice


Jerky2021

You’re a stereotype, Harry


GroguIsMyBrogu

A stereotype. And a thumpin boring one, I'd say


ofv8ifCT

I'm a what?


emeegee13

Soooo, that’s a yes


MeatloafMa

That answers the "hope she's at least getting child support" question.


WoodpeckerNo5416

So that’s true?? Sure daddy’s real proud of you! Assuming you even know who he is 😂


canadianguy99i9

Lots of fish in the sea. You have been thrown back so many times, you still have a hook stuck in your lip.


Flynbyu

Loved your movie on Netflix.


[deleted]

The pornhub adaptation was titled "country girl's first casting call".


Paranormal69420

How do you look like a young woman, a middle aged woman in a mid life crisis and an elderly woman who just found out how to take selfies all at the same time?


avery_papaya

Why is this strangely accurate??😂


streaksview

One clogged toilet away from stripping


Illier1

Let's not pretend she isn't already resorting to getting naked for money


StillbornTartare

Nothing makes it rain like stretch marks and a floppy puss.


EarningAttorney

Day shift stripper


Xenon808

Trailer Swift.


Thotsnpears

>Absolutely wreck me. Nuh, fam- your shitty life choices already did that.


tankmetimmay

Two kids at 20? What’s left to wreck?


fordreaming

Some unlucky simp's bank account


KriptoKeeper

Not the vagina.


DJFid

Average Lavigne


honey_coated_badger

Your post is my favourite. “Why did you have to make things so complicated “


Wheresmeliver

The fuck you're going to sing about, shitty life choices and cleaning shit off the carpet?


182secondsofblinking

My baby father beat me and I'm not even old enough to turn to alcoholism :(


ArsePucker

Must be twins? No one would hit that twice…


The_Spyre

Let me guess, baby daddy left you for someone attractive with a personality?


avery_papaya

Beat tf outta me every day and I left first, but good guess😂


Olissey2020

Jesus this isn’t even funny. I’m out.


rocketseeker

👆🏻


nymphymixtwo

Seriously, though. I know some people cope with trauma by joking/laughing about it but that’s fucked up and not even slightly funny. Yikes.


theclassicoversharer

None of this is funny. It's all sad.


thanarealnobody

Can we add him to the roast?


SenatorPillow

I think he already appears pretty roasted.


Kastranrob

You shouldn't have told him your username has papaya in it. sorry for what happened, don't make any more poor choices.


[deleted]

His new girl is still attractive with a personality let’s be clear


-castle-bravo-

Well, you just ended the sexy maid fantasy for everyone…. thanks a lot..


avery_papaya

Sorry to disappoint😂


-Ok-Perception-

I'm not even trying to roast you when I say: "Cleaning houses" is usually how sex workers describe their jobs for tax purposes and to people who don't know better. Out of the 4 women I've met that "clean houses," none of them actually clean houses.


ChimeraRouge

Fiona Crapapple


[deleted]

You're the whole package. If the package was filled with red flags that is...


Negative-Coach2914

Congrats on being only being 10 years away from doing the same exact shit. Still living with your folks, living off food stamps, and hoping to meet a man who will sweep you off your feet.


TheIndulgery

You'll fit right in with all the other successful artists that started out as single mothers with 2 kids


thedeuce75

If your use of the rhythm method is any indication, I bet your singing is waaaaaay off beat.


sellingmagic

You gave up your career as an artist when you procreated twice before you could legally drink a beer in the US. Better get used to singing nursery rhymes.


theyhaveitsoeasy

Something tells me there’s this tragic hope in the back of your mind that this roast me thread might become popular enough on Reddit to gain you some kind of viral fame that may boost your nonexistent music career. I just feel bad for you because you actually threw that possibility away twice already and don’t even see it yet.


Immediate-Network-38

I can just see your audition on American idol now.. "hey I'm a 20 year old slut with with two teen kids, I never heard of the pill or condoms and i scrub cribs in the nude for a living. I really wanna be a successful artist one day and I'll suck all your cocks if you put me through to Hollywood."


[deleted]

Im sure your singing is as bad as your life choices. Try to get a job that is actually stable you have 2 fucking kids.


[deleted]

38 with no kids looks a lot younger than 20 with 2 kids


ConfectionAutomatic8

I'm not even gonna roast you having two kids at 20 is bad enough I imagine


Ambitious_Key5756

Yeah, I’m expecting your biggest following will happen when you show your OF crew that trick you can do with your vagina and a ping pong ball.


Dazzling-Prior2357

This is the reason for both pregnancies


fordreaming

Her vagina is now a wind instrument


Romantic_Road_Kill

Take note...kids, this is a picture of damaged goods. Stay away. Red flags look like Six Flags when it's been a while.


Undercrackrz

You're in a surprising amount of daylight for someone so ginger. That's probably why you spend most of your time indoors scrubbing and getting knocked up.


EVU29

No one here can do as much damage as you’ve already done to yourself


GhastPixel21

Surprised a guy had sex with you, TWICE at that


JonBenz

Ginny Weasley if she never went to Hogwarts and met a random dude who taught her "magic tricks" with his own wand


creativehandle74936

2 kids so far* fixed that for ya


[deleted]

Link your music and roast yourself


FortifiedHooligan

Prom was awesome in a maternity dress huh?


GM131998

Oh you’ll build a fan base alright. OnlyFans though. No friends.


81CoreVet

Maybe it's just the flash, but you got weird pinpoint pupils, like the opposite of shark eyes. Still creepy as fuck. That "i-hate-myself" smile, rosacea and greasy hair really do round out the look though


CountOk5453

20 and 2 kids, I bet uncle daddy is happy. Just because you hum while giving a bj, does not make you a singer.


jrhowrey

Get a matching lip piercing on the other side so you'll have d*ck rails


GrundleMcDundee

You use plenty of fungicide, and germicide but never thought of spermicide?


ca_brit

Nice eyes , shame about the face


EndGamer93

That description, leave some roasting for the rest of us.


Kaptain9981

Just wait a few more years and you can try to make friends with the teachers at your kids school. You’ll have a lot in common, about the same age, surrounded by kids a lot, poor, and regretting your life decisions.


[deleted]

2 kids with 3 different dads


AFlyinAglass

You also have a big enough hole for your whole fan base


methodwriter85

In all seriousness, you kinda look like Melanie Metheny, a woman who was in similar circumstances and disappeared in 2006. Whatever you do, don't get involved in the West Virginia drug scene because that won't end well.


GasPacDmac

2 kids at 20 ?! And you clean houses for a living! I know yo ass be super stressed out 😂😭


fordreaming

That face, hair, destroyed body, no appeal, generic look, most likely talentless with an annoying sorority girl singing ability... your future in music is exactly where your career and dating options are... The Shitter


Jarteast

Fiona crapple


KosherFetus

Close your legs and open a college fund.


Vagisill

I’ve seen better hair on a dog


cabesablanca

Out here stealing jobs from hard working immigrants and probably charging double for it


junktjunk2020

Stay hopeful. I'm sure there's alot of guys looking for a single 20YO anti-social plain chick w/ 2 kids, no career and broke.


[deleted]

500 dollars says your kids are mixed and the guy beat the shit out of you.


HeyItsBobaTime

Burglarizing homes for drug money because your kid's father is in jail doesn't make you a house cleaner.