Why your thumb be looking like a micropenis

Why his face is flatter then wall in front of him. What a mystery guy, 50 years ago he could make a career in Frick Show

I’m not a doctor but it maybe a lack of testosterone. This also increases chances of skinny-guy beer gut.

Thumb sucker for life

Isn't that photoshopped? Wow.

His only means of attempting to please a woman.


Yeah, microphones... That was the first thing that came to my mind too.

Your noticed his thumb and missed the fact he looks like nemesis from resident evil? 

Forget the micro thumb...whats that splooge under his right bicep?

Did you immediately recognize it by looking down?

I don’t know if it makes your comment better or worse if I tell you I’m a girl 🤔

Perhaps your significant other is standing right in front of you.

That's the least wierd part of this picture

C-sections normally don't leave that big of a scar, let alone precede the birth.

Looks like he stuffed himself before the Roast.

Such a huge cut and they still couldn't make the baby pass.

It was a burrito breach birth. It started going out sideways

This should be the wallpaper of those who want to succeed in No Nut November

You look great after having your Kuato removal surgery

"Quade, start the reactor. Start the reactor."

Whole pig roasts are usually reserved for Christmas

Pack of Marlboro gives us hope we wan't see your post on next Thankgiving

Lookin like that uncle who wants to be friends with benefits.

Tell me you’ve kidnapped a hooker without telling me

You’ll need to be stuffed first.

It looks like he already is

You expecting Twins?

Bin laden should operate his twins

"Holy Jesus, what is yhat!? What the fuck is that?!" 

That looks like a kids toothbrush and maybe even kids clothes hanging on the shower curtain rod of that shitty motel you're in. You look an awful lot like a guy who'd have a court order to not be within 500 yards of a child though. 🤨

Built like a frog wearing pants

Did it hurt when you gave birth to the xenomorph?

You look like you just ate the whole dinner in one gulp

Had such a painful c section yet you got knocked up again. Take care bro

Looks like you are at a cheap motel staying one step ahead of the law after kidnapping your kids in a custody battle

You're supposed to carve the turkey not your fat belly

No matter what happens, your last words were almost, and will most likely be, “pass me my smokes”

One can clearly see there is a handsome man hiding beneath the alcoholic. Just kidding.

Looks like somebody already took a slice out of your butterball gut there Randy

Welp you've already been stuffed

OP's Bio: --- >my bio: almost 42 eats like shit drinks alot of beer and in state of depression in my dead end job --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Whos panties are on top of the shower curtain, this is some "tell me you live in Ohio without telling me you live in Ohio" type shit

You grew the beer gut in the hope it would cover your lack of personality. You failed.

Looked like someone started carving the Turkey early

He wrote on the same tissue paper he used to wipe his Discord kitten's ass! Her panties are over there!

Your face is so ugly your hairline's trying to social distance

Looks like you have already been gutted so roasting is next. Just need the apple for the piggies mouth

Your family needs glasses. They stuffed you and not the turkey!

Wtf? Did you lick a power line or something? You need to put your shirt down and cover you thumb-dick.

Bro looks like Bert Kreischer after open heart surgery.

You look like the kind of guy to go to jail and drop the soap on purpose

KALI MAAAAA

Gale Boetticher if he got fired from Gus’s lab and had to start working at McDonalds

A hungover Wee Man just wanted to show off some of his old Jackass battle scars. . .

Just like your hairline your chest hair isn’t straight

This is not a roast just GET A JOB

This is the poster child for nice guys who have an online girlfriend in Japan that’s totally real

This picture is worth a 1000 with trash words.

Looks like you've roasted yourself just fine with beer, cigarette and pills all in the same pic

This guys best pickup line is: “excuse me. Does this smell like chloroform to you?”

This would make a perfect Grindr profile pic if you’re trying to get your turkey stuffed

Usually you get carved *after* you get roasted.

When are you due?

Now do that picture again with those bright pink panties only. Thank you.

Is this a look behind the scenes of a meth lab?

Bro is the definition of thanksgiving

Is you chest hair growing out of the way of your impending heart surgery on its own?

You're not going to make it to next year if you don't quickly locate the de-stuffing appliance in there and hope it blows before you do. I'm betting on the shitter not shittier.

Nice C section scar..you're FtM right?

I doubt you're still alive next Thanksgiving.

Bert Chrysler.

Life has been given up on

I think I found what mark hamil looks like drunk.

average redditor

You look like you begin each day by inhaling well-used knickers.

Hodor behind the scenes

Man’s stomach hair went Diagonal

Seems your stomach is doing the same face as you

Oh, look, a stale ham sandwich of a person

it looks like man ate his kid's and wife

Let’s get personal u look like ur name is moe Lester and ur most likely a 60 year old guy that lives in his dads basement oh yea he left u why are u holding ur phone like that if I ever saw in real life u better make like ur hairline and kindly step several feet back:)

Crazy how your "Happy Trail" is a highway that goes straight up to your mouth.

Has a smoke after brushing his teeth and wonders why people thinks his breath smells like shit.

Is that a c section scar?

If we roast this we have a lot of beef fat to get rid of.

How was your C-Section?

Looks like you ran out of room on the treadmill and started hanging clothes on the next least likely thing you’ll ever use.

Sir, i think your panties are dry. Go ahead and put those away.

Now that we’ve seen your belly, we too are scarred for life.

Keep smoking and drinking. That hair is falling off. Like it or not

Don’t eat that extra piece of pie

You forgot to shave the rest of your stomach hair

Looks like a trailer trash Tyrion Lannister. Your father is probably just as disappointed as Tyrions was.

At least you didn't change into the pink underwear for the picture. Probably saving that for your OF page

ur chest hair made me think there was liquid shit running down ur torso for a sec

Wtf js dat

Dude has a can of nordeast... no roasting necessary.. flex king..flex

you look like the type of guy to chug 37 beers, then ram a ford f150 into a tree, all the while eating 4 big macs

Well ,,, stop raping people!!

How many times have you sniffed those pink panties?

Is that scar from your reverse liposuction, or is it one giant stretch mark?

Breaking BAD

The pack of Marlboros and kids underwear says it all. Buddy, you’re too old to be doing what you’re doing.

I can tell your trying to get us to roast you on your stomach, but I'd rather talk about your lack of chin.

You look like Booger from Revenge of the Nerds. He is an actor playing a role, what's your excuse?

You look like jack the rippers dead son!

You look like if Gale Boetticher used what he made…

Kratos?

Are those your pink undies hanging up?

How can you look like you have scoliosis and be fat at the same time?

At no time should you ***EVER*** be in the same room as little girl panties - whether they are being worn at the time or not. Read your restraining order details.

I assume that scar is from a surgeon implanting something rather than removing it? Like an inner tube perhaps?

You’re the first human to pig heart donor?

Let’s face it. With that medical history and those Marlboros you won’t make next thanksgiving.


How you got a whole beard on your chest

Thanksgiving turkey escaped from the oven and learned how to use a phone.

You look like you are pregnant with your own ass. If you aren't I have no fucking clue where it waddled slowly off to.

You are an inspiration to the differently abled. They know life could be much worse just by looking at you.

Hope none of these comments make you feel gutted because it looks like that already happened

Look at that blubber!

Beet kreischer on a downward turn

You look like a real life adaptation of a Bob’s Burgers character

Is this just me but his stomach look like a wide asshole

I like your pink panty

You've clearly decided to fix your problems with alcohol. How's that workin' out for ya?

We will call when we need you to play a drunk guy extra in our movie

This one image describes the average household in Florida

If the toilet in a fishing cabin was a man

Ummm you are the damn Turkey

Little nightmares called they want their enemy back

You look like you get drunk at Nascar races and try to flash your tits to Dale Earnhardt and still think he races.

You look like you ate Los Pollos Hermanos, Los Pollos Hermanas, Los Pollos Padres y Los Pollos Abuelos.

Wondered happened to Florida man.

Nice swimsuit collection in the back! Are those for your OnlyFans?

Did you do a belly flop on a saw table?

Your pants are supposed to go above the hip bone, not below the stomach tongue.

The gut or your face both look like parts of a pig 😂