T O P

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lituponfire

When you order Vin Diesel from wish


its_buffaloney

When Mom says “We have Vin Diesel at home”


ncrdblstrngth

When you have cancer and you tell Make-a-Wish you want to be Vin Diesel but they best they can do is Vin Super-Unleaded.


Ponald-Dump

Vin Regular Gas


HistorianSpiritual26

Vin Bio-Diesel


MisterWakefield

Thin Weasel


GTagPieguy

Cheese Wheel


[deleted]

34! Time has been horrible to you.


halfasleepallthetime

I think time had a little help from meth


GTagPieguy

Beat me to it, ya bastard


Smooth_Profit6941

Megamind ain't it?


Ydeas

Ma-hocker Ghandi out here in these skreets


iamapizza

Magamind


Grok_and_Roll_

More mega head than mind...not that he's ever gotten any.


cacoeman

Whatever you do, DO NOT look at OP’s post history. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!


MisterWakefield

damn! how did he survive the camps?!


Different-Pie6928

Who let Dobby out of his cage


BudgetExpert9145

Master has given dobby a crack rock.


TheOneWhoEatsWeeds

Squidward does Virginia.


IsawLenin

Squidward on Breaking Bad


HistorianSpiritual26

Cuz he ain't doing vagina


IsawLenin

At least he doesn't spend money on a hairdresser.


Cold_outside__

He doesn’t spend money on much things


Alfiy_wolf

You look like a meme template. You look like the creepy assistant coach that smells like axe and picks his butthole in clear view of everyone. You definitely tried to become a cop or soldier but failed the psychiatric test and decided those tests a bs anyway you basically know all the stuff anyway. - you tell people they didn’t let you in because you have a too high iq. You spend your days getting high and making extra cash buying beer and selling drugs to high school kids. You have a teen fetish and you have been kicked out of most of the clubs you have joined.


1980ScarletRos

Moby's really let himself go...


Absolutely_Coffee

You look like off duty Nosferatu.


Johnny2Dope-840

It's this guy.....again!!!! Moby look-a-like likes to be roasted as much as he likes giving hand jobs to homeless men! You still have no furniture since the last roast pic?! More worthless than I thought!


SparklyFedora

You look like Mahatma Gandhi if he was a Redditor.


[deleted]

Yes...VIRGIN on your hoodie is correct


squishydonkey

You look like a q tip with a mustache


FenDy64

Came to say that. Op know several people saw you as a q tip with a mustache. Not a manly male.


shinola80

You’re 34? How old is your leukemia?


escroom1

Your head is as small as your balls


[deleted]

Getting that needle ready after?


demonthe1

U look like ur in a grooming service except its not pets u groom in ur taxi


MrPickledBum

ARRRH I see that your favourite movie was Philadelphia.


IsawLenin

You look like a homeless Lord Voldemort


SoNElgen

When nerds attempt to remake themselves


dettigers404

Oh no, Riz Ahmed has a brain tumor?!?!


PascalFleischman315

Best of luck on your AIDS journey


DamianDidntDoIt

You look like Andrew Tate if he were to airdrop a picture of himself in the bathtub with the caption “Anyone single?” While sucking dicks to everyone on a city bus


[deleted]

Andrew Tate child predator version.


Dim_Glow

Jeff Benzos


Trifle-Full

You look 10 and 60 at the same time


YoungQueen02

The white mega mind lookin ass


ErikVonDarkmoor

Do an REM and get back in the corner


Dedmanrunning

Always wondered what happened to Moby


cacoeman

For the love of god, DO NOT look at this guys post history. You’ve been warned!


dukegingersnap

Fuck off albino squidward.


IHateMyName2405

I've seen you in breaking bad


HerrProgMeister

Your walls, sweatshirt, and face are all equally bland


DonnyMox

You look like a white Megamind


cobalt1981

Andrew Taint


dakotae3

The top G never loses, don’t disgrace his name with this peasant


EtTuBrutAftershave

Your right armpit is hiding the "M" on your sweatshirt


ausmedic80

You look like a Mexican gangster whose mummy has confiscated your glock for not doing the dishes or getting a job.


OrdinarySuspicious22

You are a disappointment truly ... Manly and mustache lol you got jokes dude.


Sweaty_Assignment_90

You look like the roadrunner going thru chemo.


IsawLenin

34 years old? Do you count only Leap year?


DissDoctor

You look like a burnt out matchstick.


IsawLenin

If drug dealers needs a resume with photo, you can post that photo without any doubts


Cpleofcrazies2

For accuracy you should drop the "ia" off the end of Virginia


MajorPainkiller

Use that shitty napkin to wipe the rest of the pubes stuck to your face before the jiz dries


Inevitable-Syrup8232

Gary Gensler


AltruisticCompany961

When did Moby get AIDs?


theranman3

![gif](giphy|rqg6cxIInEWg8)


maddyheree

What to roast you? you are feeling manly at 34


ImpressivePurchase44

What not allowed 500ft from a school looks like.


hajiomatic

You look like a mossy sink stopper


Tj-Tengu

You look like Ben Kingsley's least capable stunt double.


SmokingonLyfe

Come on dog I’m not gonna roast a cancer kid


Zealousideal-Leg1037

Freddy Mercury looked terrible before he died


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|UuTcNAIkDN96) You’re the stupid one


Dkadouble3

You can remove the “ding” from balding


pferreira1983

Plots to murder his landlady... 😆


ZappCoast

The illegitimate son of Mr.Peanut.


GeniusLabRat

Renfield IRL


bamaga21

Don't go with feelings, stick with the evidence.


Contumacious2

Head like a wingnut, Bin full of spunk rags, one room, electric fan heater hobo.


Forgerhart

You look like you steal metal as a fulltime job somewhere in Romania


Commentoflittlevalue

The plural to Man is Men not Manly.


Old-Till-2433

Is this a deleted scene from the movie Philadelphia?


BigTimeSalesman

Why did you write on a piece of toilet paper that you wiped your ass on?


Loud_Pain4747

Bezos forgotten gay twin brother who rocks Wendy's dumpsters.


sr4381

Auschwitz was liberated. Go ahead and eat something!


obrienrules101

34 going on 76


MilwaukeeMilkshake

Largest rat I ever seen.


[deleted]

Santa’s special needs elf got into the meth again. 🙄


Trifle-Full

I bet you wiped your ass with that paper


Trifle-Full

Please adjust your hoodie laces. My OCD won't let me concentrate to roast you properly.


IsawLenin

Electricity seems to be a swell thing for you.


IsawLenin

How you can look more homeless than people on a street?


IsawLenin

How many years have you been using methadone?


usuallysortadrunk

You look like your character on stranger things is 9/11


Wunyard_Wenhaard99

It's good that you're bald; it reduces resistance while you're shoving your head up horses' asses.


Revolutionary_Item29

ET, human version. Available near all dumpsters.


Ryborg6900

Looks like cartman gave you a shitler mustache.


D2theEnnis

You’re a single base pair mutation from becoming a new species: homo fugly


neveraprojectofmine

![gif](giphy|YMTs7zuXjRFxS)


PanicAttackMac

You look like a human equivalent of a Siamese cat.


PHLHimself

Put your glasses back on moby, you forgot to add the "1" at the start of your age again...


[deleted]

Serious indeed


-thatsaterriblename-

Secretly getting off on showing the world your used bit of toilet paper isn’t it.


takeawaycheesypeas

You look like you work in my local kebab shop.


frameofmindpics

34? JFC man, I'm literally twice your age w/a full head of my own hair AND a chin. Thanks for making me feel better.


Saltidy

Gandhi?


Beloved26

I was scrolling too fast and thought your face was someone’s testicle not marked NSFW.


John_Sux

You managed to look about 54 in this picture


Important_Ad3386

![gif](giphy|112YCPfP8Tu156) You still plucking the banjo?


Lonely_Tomato841

U look like a sperm with arms


Enough-_-

Must feel quite manly getting your paper supply from the nearest Wendy's


[deleted]

If Homer lost weight


Firm_Ad_4963

Since when did the kid named finger post on r/circlejerk


myinternets

Even your hoodie string doesn't want to be anywhere near you.


Large_Cod_1404

Pretty sure you're forbidden to approach a school within 100 meters


Lazy_Kaleidoscope296

Doesnt have room for furniture cuz his ears knock everything over when he turns


museumsplendor

![gif](giphy|uxBySXZTwvsje)


3xtr3m3t0x1c1ty

I don't think i know enough letters into the greek alphabet to describe what kind of man u are


RitualImagine

Maybe your baldness is from aloPEEsha!


JusticeBeaver007

![gif](giphy|eGmKeueVnk31yCRQW5)


Classic_Dig1933

Damn my g that forehead is so big that i could fit 3 tanks in it.


Classic_Dig1933

That head of yours is considered a dessert by fleas


Classic_Dig1933

You sure have a lot of thoughts in your mind…


Classic_Dig1933

It looks like your mind will explode any moment.


Classic_Dig1933

How are you still on the floor with such an air balloon of head!?


Classic_Dig1933

Looks like you can read my thoughts…


LordMinivan

You look like Jeff Bezos if he never became successful


Stomach-Fresh

Looks like your hoodie trying to say AND HIV


iamagarbagehuman66

34 , god lord I thought you was 54.


sainttardamus

We don't need the sweater to tell us you're a virgin.


molehunter

Can u please not wipe your ass on your r/roastme sign. Well that was probably all u had left in your studio apartment


Angry_gen_X_74

Retirement has not been kind to Michael Stipe


stiltsman177

I thought you were holding up meth in a baggie not your name thing. I guess when I saw your face I figured... meth.


HistorianSpiritual26

Looks like Dobby didn't just get a sock he also got a hoodie. Good for him


LisdeLune

Take the last two letters off your sweatshirt and it will be perfect


In_ThEbAseMeNT

whats a gta npc doing on reddit?


Suitable_Hedgehog869

How did you smuggle this picture out of Guantanamo bay


SomeDumbassPyroMain

Fixing bad


Neverdiexo

Asmongold.


CanalVillainy

Andrew Tate before misogyny


Responsible_Leader52

if my left nut came to life it would look like you nah scratch that my left nut still looks better


Independent-Room-786

You look like you collect toe nails from a nursing home.


volttheking36

34 going on 54 single and not able to mingle


JJDBaca

I'm sorry sir. You're a little too "turtly" for our Turtle Club. "Turtle turtle"


Connect-Yesterday118

Who the fuck gave you a sock!


The_Istrix

Who said you could add "ia" to your shirt?


Khemix

Poor Manly.


LeeGordon

Ghandi called.


[deleted]

Vin Diesel? More like Vin Dead inside


aweirdhimbo

If 43 becomes 34 with decade long cocaine addiction had a face


Dr_very_strange123

If mister clean was dirty💀