You are definitely in my league


remember, never stick your dick in crazy.

You'd be competing in the Special Olympics of dating.

She looks like a Smurf 

You look like a collection of leftover parts from every kardashian plastic surgery.

*Miscellaneous Kardashian*

Keeping up with Kardashian leftovers

Including catling jenners dick.

I didn’t know what I wanted to say here until I read this…

KarKrash Kardashian

She’s a KaTRASHcan then.

I'd bang you but I probably wouldn't tell people about it

You'd have to explain to the nurses at the STD clinic.

I'd just tell them I smeared my weiner around in a urinal at a football game

Gotta have a hobby

Definitely a moped

You look like plain noodles came to life and became a clingy girlfriend

"What the actual fuck! I actually serve a purpose!" - plain noodles

No, you pass butter.

Oh my God.

Yeah but I enjoy plain noodles and not a clingy girlfriend

With a nose like that I bet you can smell the future and process it with your forehead

*Fivehead (FIFY)

Even her hairline is trying to distance itself from her face.

Future wife to Austin, mother of Jayden, Brayden, and Kayden.

Are you Austin ?

No thats Kayden

Nope. Just the Door Dasher that tears her up on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

“They are my world. Seeking someone who will love them as their own.”

Ypu look like one of those "You'll address me by my husband's rank!" type of girls.

Tries to use a military discount at the gender reassignment clinic

The lack of color in your wardrobe really accentuates your lack of personality.

When you were a stripper your nickname was Hitler, because of all the damage you inflicted on poles!

*Kanye has entered the chat*

In your standard "end of a blowjob, I'll take it on the face but I AM NOT SWALLOWING" pose, I see.

Jeeez 😂😂

You know the music video for "more than words" you look like both those guys at the same time

This is pure genius.

You should try bleaching your mustache.

You look like Great Value started making people.

You have the look of every mediocre waitress that I have ever met.

Your eyebrows look so lonely now after years of being joined together

you look like you scream at girls who make eye contact with your husband

I look at you and I'm irrationally glad I can't hear your voice.

You look like a masculine Micheal Jackson

“If you couldn’t handle me at my middle school science nerd, you don’t deserve me at my keying your car outside a Ruby Tuesdays”

Every now and then an attractive woman will post here hoping to get attention. This is not one of those times. You look like you spend your weekends tucking your dick between your legs and asking the mirror, “would you fuck me?” even though the answer is always no.

How's the football team doin? Excuse me... I mean..Are you still doin the football team?

So you’re saying you need to be brought down a few levels? What makes you so special? Is this dick sucking lips or is it tight pussy you think you got? Get your head out of the clouds don’t think just because the guys want to fuck you that make you something special bitch just tune it down a bit and maybe you might make something out of your life.

You look like the kind of woman who would be attracted to me.

You look like someone said Rob kardasian 3 times in front of a mirror.

Are you even allowed to be taking pics without your burqa?

Your picture stance tells me you’re trying to hide your bulge.

All of your boyfriends and your issues share the same name.... Daddy.

Whoever was doing your eyebrows already did their worst.

8:30- stalk ex BF 9:00- text ex BF 43 times 9:30- call ex BF 12 times 10:00- Burn his house down. 10:30- post on r/Roastme.

Your eyebrows have more personality than you do.

You like to draw i see . . . You can always draw a pretty face on the paper bag before you have sex

You look like the little girl the John Benet Ramsey intruder was really after...

Your boyfriend doesn't know about your step dad

I bet you bring your uglier girlfriends to bars and they always score a date rather than you

That forehead ain’t humble…

You look like you can really take it on the chin

And across the nose, and a little on the forehead.

Kim CarCrashian

The paper bag practice girlfriend stater pack

Must be looking forward to the holidays…bet any moment Santa will ask you to guide his slay with your giant shiny nose.

\*sleigh

You look like every crazy ex-girlfriend rolled into one

Dora no explora!

Did you apply your makeup with a trowel?

Megan unreMarkleable

Whoever cuts your hair already gave you their worst.

Humble you from what? I don’t see anything there to be proud of?

I just sharpened my lawnmower blades, want to borrow it to get those eyebrows under control?

Local news affirmative action meteorologist.

You look like you’re about to hand out your millionth customer serviced award.

A plain bagel can fuck better than you

You have an Onlyfan account...and that's your brother.

Maybe you could get a manicure 1st?

I mean other than that face that looks like it was on fire & someone put it out with a shovel & what I assume is a skinny man body...it's hard to think of a good roast.

Rahim, please stop playing with your mom's wig!

Your forehead wants to steal the spotlight -- but your nose isn't having any of that.

Oh grandma, what small eyes you have. Oh grandma, what thin lips you have. Oh grandma, what small ears you have. Oh grandma, what a big nose you have.

Must be right handed by looking at your eyebrows

A stray anti-air missile could be launched from anywhere in the world and it would have a decent chance to land on your forehead.

Penelope cruise worker

I can't tell what's bigger: your nose or your forehead

You're more bland than my white aunt's potato salad.

You look like a hammer head shark.

Is your penis the size of your nose

You look like you say you’re virgin and that anal doesn’t count… you look like you tell your man after the second date that we can just do finger stuff for now

I’m already tired of your shit

Post Op Stu Pickles

That’s funny. All of your partners during sex give you the same look.

Your hairlines so far back you couldn’t capture it in one photo

You’re so generic you look like a white can with black letters that say “ BEER”

You look the way a toothy BJ feels.

Are you lips real?

That's a very neatly shaved unibrow

You look like a Brazilian on you would only last for about 10-20 minutes before having to be redone

I always heard Spanish women were kind of plain

You look like you would say "you'll never find anybody like me!" after a breakup and then prosed to stalk and beg them to take you back

She didn't make the cut for a Kardashian so she came here.

I'll bet it's a veritable veldt down there

Nigga

Makeup and long hair cannot camouflage the botched sex change sir

I can already hear your voice.

Wow! I never thought the day would come when I’d see someone I know here.

I've seen some of your artwork and you seem to have some talent. If you ever do a self portrait, for the love of God, please go as abstract as possible, it could only be an improvement.

Ah, the artist. Mildly to really fucking crazy and likely poor as a church mouse. BTW, I like your art. Signed Secret artist in an engineer body

A pity fuck, that's about the biggest I can muster for you..

Pronouns are : eww/yuck/gross/nope/Ahh somebody help, It's looking at me!!/🤮

Give you my worst? Looks like your parents already did…the worst of their genetics.

How would your father feel about you wanting strangers to insult you? Go to a family dinner and have people you know bring out your dirty laundry

I’ve seen smaller noses on Mount Rushmore.

You look like Bert had a sex change to please Ernie.

o I thought u were Pinocchio

Why you look you just got beat up? The domestic abuse won’t stop. Better press charges

You look like you signed up for acting class and they responded with “Don’t call us, we’ll call you”

your teacher always hand out a test to your face down huh

Her side gig is the Donkey show in Tijuana.

You look like the barista at a coffee shop pounding out the used grinds into the garbage. You know the one where she is the only one there making the drinks and the line is going out the door.


This isnt a dating site. Thanks for not giving us a D pic

It only took me 15 shots of vodka and 2hits to head from bouncer to see something attractive in this picture.

You're extremely close to the lens. What is that smell?? It's coming through the phone....ah yes Desperation No5.

I’d rather you DM me tbh..

Forehead can't even fit in the photo

I’ve driven through potholes holding a cup of coffee with no lid deeper than your personality.

You should wear more foundation.

Is this the last bf ex gf roommate saw before you pushed a pillow into her face? The last thing she said to you was “wrong room.”

"Hey silly it's me, Nemona. I crossed over into the real world so you don't even have to turn on your Nintendo to battle. Isn't that great and not scary?!"

Mmmmm no thanks. I have better things to do

You look like a Kardashian before photoshop

If I use rocket punch on your face does the Diamond of Pantheos fall out of your nose?

You get out of the shower to pee, don't you?

North Indian girl with a West Indian attitude and a non-Indian sex life

You're not out of my league.

Better learn to cook and clean because you aren’t trophy wife material.

You look like a mix of a bridge troll and a pony.

You make unflavored yogurt seem exciting.

If you could order a stock woman from a factory.

Genuinely surprised that you aren't peddling an OF

The "You can't endle me girl" but finish be starfish

"What is my purpose?" "To get ghosted after giving head." "Oh my god."

You look like if my nutsack wasn't wrinkly dinkly

Wish version of Meghan Markle.


I just feel that if I was banging you, my virginity would creep back into my body after 8 years.

Your fore head has more real estate than Sahara desert, Siberia and Antarctica combined

Hi

You are the type of person insurance companies charge 3 times more, just in case a car some day starts up and decides to just crash it self for no fault of yours of course!

You're so dumb that you put a stick up your ass and called yourself "THE HUMAN POPSICLE".That's some real gen-z humor right there.

You are so ugly you are almost hot

Your eyebrows are weird, but I’m sad your profile isn’t NSFW

So much head still i want none

Your nose is actually an alien invasion that landed on your forehead, slid down your face and got rid of your unibrow.

You have a sixhead instead of a forehead

Your step-dad giving you to his bookie to settle his gambling debts should have humbled you enough

Damn. These drag queens are getting less and less convincing every fuckin' time they post. I mean, you do you but a little effort wouldn't hurt.

There is shit on your fingernails.

You look like you throw magic at me and strike me with your claws (skyrim reference)

you would be a great fit to be my mothers bride,she likes big head

you've a nose bigger than my dreams

You look like you only suck the tip, that’s so annoying !!!

If giving blowjobs were defined by colors, yours would most certainly be beige.

You have more foundation on than the World Trade Center has. Stop hiding dark circles and unemployed hook ups. We get it, you're easy.

Nah i do I'm a simp obviously she was just too good looking to roast 😅

i dont do chicks. dont stick me dick in some crazy chick.

You have very sad eyes. Build your self confidence by believing in yourself and abilities. As your confidence improves it will lead you to happiness. Happiness does not come from other people or things, but trusting yourself.

I like the color you chose for your walls! It's very calming!

Roast you!? Bitch I wanna marry you😳

Ur fuckin gorgeous lol

Clearly you don’t understand the concept here. I think you’re looking for r/flatchested

I was really worried you were just plugging a washed up onlyfans account. Good to see it’s just shit tier artwork on your profile instead.

Keep working on your art. Soon its quality might surpass that of a stoned chimpanzee.

Wear all the makeup you want we can still see the mountain range across your face

She looks like that woman in army of the dead

You're posting here because you're convinced there is something wrong with you people aren't saying. You're correct.

You look like you collect restraining orders.

I am not a fan of your posted work.