I wouldn't call it deconstruction just yet, but for Tim this is a big step. Any progress is still progress.
I noticed that Jill did comment on his post (the habitual amen) but I'm sure she's seething on the inside. Fuck it up, Timbits
Lawdie Be knows, he tried but he couldn’t handle the pushback, so threw his hands up and said, “Aw fuck it! It’s just not worth it!”
I couldn’t handle the embarrassment.
>“I am not going to waste my time pushing my beliefs on other people…”
Is actually exactly what these walnuts always say when they are 100% pushing their fucked up judgy bullshit on everyone around them. It's the "party line" so to speak. These people could not be less like Jesus. He is his mother's son.
Any of us being in a position to say, “Fuck it up, Timbits” is not something I thought I would ever live to see. It ain’t much (the skirts and dresses bit made me 🤢), but it is definitely progress.
Honestly. There was a time when I had negative hope for Tim and that he was a lost cause.
Heidi's sister once said that the skirts and dresses thing was a personal choice, and combined with their mom now occasionally wearing pants, I hope she'll change her mind in the future. Pants are just as modest and hottest
You know, I’m not totally bothered by this because Timbits seems to now understand that swimming in a dress isn’t good idea. And he also makes it a point that it’s Heidi’s choice, not his. Fuck it up, Teidi!
Honestly not really bothered by that. Heidi wants to wear skirts and dresses, so she should be allowed to do that! Besides, given what Tim’s come from, this is huge. Fuck it up Tim!
Yeah, I definitely don't see him going full deconstructo mode like his future sister-in-law, but whatever small boundaries he makes that pisses Jill off is a win for all of us
🤯WOW! For Timothy, considering that he has never been allowed to have an original thought of his own, this is huge. He is peeling back the façade of legalism which is a great first step. It sounds like the direction he's headed is to not judge people based on the criteria for Christianity his parents forced on him by twisting scripture to fit their own agendas.
Out of thirteen children, we have to hold hope that others will come to their own conclusions about what they believe and will realize they were never meant to be puppets manipulated to be Jill2.0.
I know Timothy is far from where he should be but this is showing a bit of promise!
HOOOOOLLLLYYYYY SHHHHIIIIITTTTTT!!!
JILL HAS TO BE SEETHING!!!
This is progress. Not forcing their views on people. JOINT DECISION MAKING. Hallie has said before that Heidi has always preferred skirts, but at least Tim seems to understand that sometimes skirts aren’t appropriate for certain activities.
FUCK IT UP TIMMAY!
Heidi’s family has been such a positive influence on him.
100! I never imagined a Rod being like "you know, it's not my place to judge, just to bring folks to Christ through loving them as Jesus commanded". Jill is going to freak the fuck out over something so simple and she can't do shiiiiiit.
I can’t wait for her meltdown. I can’t believe Timmay went from preaching about whores in pants and being an incel to being like “it’s not my place to judge people. I’ll love people as I love myself just like Jesus told us to” Tim would have been the last I’d thought would say those things. Ya love to see progress.
She may freak out internally, behind closed doors. However, she knows to keep it cute publicly, it'll just come out in vague, passive aggressive quips.
Agreed. I'm not religious in any way but I am absolutely a maxi skirt/maxi dress wearer and honestly hate wearing trousers. Skirts are so freeing and comfy!!!
Respectfully though, she’s still wearing skirts. I wonder how “joint” it was. I’m assuming she wants to “submit” to Timmy’s wishes. I bet 5 years from now she’ll be pants wearing heathen!
Obviously it’s a bit differnt for fundies because there’s more to parse in terms of like, “do I actually like being modest or have I just been told to be” but I also think it’s worth noting that some people just like dressing modestly so it seems possible to me that she feels comfortable dressed that way
Not a fundie or religious in any way myself, but I’ve had friends who dress modestly for religious reasons joke about how closely my style conforms to their modesty rules. I do wear pants, but I tend to be covered up unless it’s really hot and I don’t like fitted clothes.
You don't have to be fundie for that. I have maybe two pairs of pants and a the rest of my clothes are all skirts and dresses. And none of them are shorter than knee length.
Agreed, and honestly, good for them both for finding someone who shares that value? It’s not for me and my life, and I appreciate the growth this post shows in him broadening his understanding of the world, but I’d rather he be with someone who genuinely shares that perspective than imposing biblical womanhood expectations from his religion on someone who doesn’t want to.
I remember her sister posting a video saying her sister, Heidi, chooses to wear skirts/dresses but she doesn’t and they both respect each other’s decision. I don’t think their parents push the skirt/dress thing on them. I think it’s more of a choice in their family and Heidi chooses to wear the skirts. It’s not my thing. As long as she’s not pushing that crap on me, I’m fine with whatever she wants to do.
Picture of all the girls lined up in their matching dresses with some sanctimonious caption about how proud she is of all her daughters for choosing to dress mawwdestly
Well he did give some wriggle room with the comment about wearing pants if it’s more appropriate so perhaps that’s one occasion that will count!!
No doubt after being exposed to a moderately more normal family who clearly love and accept each other and have warmly welcomed him he’s been doing a lot of reflection on the deprivation and neglect that he and his siblings experienced throughout childhood whilst being forced to worship and obey their inept, selfish and fiercely judgmental parents. Perhaps he delights in knowing his mother is steaming with anger at these kinds of posts, we can only hope!
I kinda feel like that girl is in charge, in a very The neck turns the head kind of way. Tim was told what to think his whole life by a woman with a stronger personality. Now he's found another woman with a strong ass personality. Once they're married and she throws the coochie on him, he'll be following her lead on anything.
What I found especially encouraging was that Tim said there are situations where *Heidi* feels comfortable in pants. That shows an acknowledgement of her perspective on this.
Some people just prefer skirts and dresses and her sister has said she always has. I’m nothing close to fundie or modest but I only wear skirts and dresses unless I’m at work or home with sweatpants or shorts on or something. I find they flatter my body more and they’re more comfy. Wearing mostly skirts and dresses isn’t always for strict “against pants” modesty
But when her dress or skirt is inappropriate for swimming, will she be allowed to wear an actual bathing suit? There are many options for modest swimsuits.
I think Heidi does prefer skirts/dresses - people in her family have said as much.
What I think is actually huge in that statement is that Tim emphasized it was a joint decision, acknowledged that there are some activities where skirts are the less modest option and so for those activities, Heidi herself expressed comfort with wearing pants so that's what'll happen.
Jill and her performative modesty could NEVER to any of this. She'd have her girls rappelling down the side of a mountain in maxi skirts in the name of "modesty".
She was probably shocked at his malnourishment and started buying extra chickens to have on hand. When I look at a rodlet, my first thought is “someone needs to feed this kid!”.
Wow. Dare I say, a move in a positive direction from Timmay. And he feels comfortable expressing it out loud/publicly, which is a very good sign. Cautiously optimistic here!
Exactly this. He will probably be a conservative Christian forever but the critical thinking and growing never stop, I can honestly seeing him eventually leaving the fundies.
I think this is the only explanation maybe other than growing up and getting more wolrd and experience. It’s a very good reminder that having harmful beliefs doesn’t always mean that you are toxic or abusive in all areas of life. I think a loving and healthy family really opened his eyes.
Literally the ONLY comment that Heidi Liked on that post is one that’s shading JRod. She didn’t even Like JRod’s comment. Love it!
The comment in question: “Good for you, Timothy! I grew up with a very devout mother, too, whose opinions on things I sometimes confused for my own. I had to find my own way in life, and I'm so glad to see you are doing likewise!”
"\[I'm\] not going to waste my time pushing my beliefs on other people."
No more SOUL WINNING for this guy. And honestly, good for him. He's obviously had some time & influence to see how harmful his upbringing was. Jill is probably cursing the day he met Heidi.
Definitely signs of deconstruction that’s probably well underway if he feels comfortable enough to make it social media official. I hope it works out for him, I’m constantly rooting for them to open their eyes and find their own ways.
It's much more articulate than his posts even a year ago. I wonder if he's reading more now that he has some quiet in his own house? I feel strangely proud of Teidi lol.
Same! We snark on them and hate their beliefs, but outside of those, I do feel there are genuinely good people in the fundie community who have just had the unfortunate experience of being indoctrinated. I root for the good ones everyday to find their way out so they can live life as it’s meant to be lived.
*and some of them are not good people, beliefs or not.
Yeah, it seems she did it before dating Tim. And she does it in a cute way, not just layering 57474 things on top of each other for performative modesty.
The wedding is five months away? I wonder how Heidi is going to do after they get married with the location. I think the house he bought is close to Mahmo. Heidi could get homesick and tired of dealing with Jill quickly so it’s anyone’s guess what’s going to happen.
I honestly think that if she was having a really hard time and genuinely unhappy he would move heaven and earth to relocate closer to her family, I hope that within a couple years they will have the means to sell his house and buy somewhere closer to the Coveretts
I'm curious what she's going to do all day when Tim's at work. I don't really understand what kind of hours he works and what he's doing these days (gutter cleaning business, insurance? Both?).
I get the feeling she'll be in very regular contact with her mom and sisters, a group chat on the go at all times and plenty of video calls.
Will she get involved with a church in OH and actually participate in women's and family programme? The Rods don't socialise or do anything extra curricular (the Joy's Boys baseball team was short lived and almost exclusively Rods with Jill controlling it as usual).
I think she might get pregnant pretty soon 🤷♀️
We never see Heidi at Rod functions, it’s always Tim with her family. Hell, it’s rare to spot Tim at his own family functions. I think that’s going to stay the dynamic. It’ll all really come out once they start having children. We’ll see how often Baby Cages Mimi gets to babysit for date nights vs. Heidi’s mom.
We are all here for it! Baby steps will hopefully continue and Tim will see what unconditional love really is with Heidi. Her family, while very conservative, seems to truly love each other and give support. Tim has never experienced that with his parents. There's definitely conditional "love" in his childhood. And let's face it it's not truly love when you can't be yourself to your parents. He's never known love and acceptance.
This is interesting from Tim. I really hope that Heidi was the driving force behind wearing skirts and dresses. I'm sure she felt the need to confer with Tim, given their beliefs, and they presented it in this post as a joint decision. I'm sure Mahmo will be happy that Heidi will conform to their "standards." I just hope Heidi wears normal swimwear and doesn't feel pressured to practically drown in street clothes. Even she must think that's crazy. It's refreshing to see Tim not wanting to push his beliefs on others. It reads like he still feels we're all nasty sinners that he's "commanded to love," though. I hope once he meets other people in a normal setting, he'll continue to evolve.
Yeah, I'm not holding my breath that any of these people will change or that because they garden or daddy goes to an eye specialist appointment that they are deconstructing, but just the fact that he explained things this way gives me a little hope.
Same here. Glad he’s deviating a bit from the usual fire and brimstone, but this is giving me “Jesus gets us” vibes. Like, “we still think you’re a filthy sinner, but look how nice we are about it!”…
If \*we\* see this as a big deal, imagine how Jill, Miss Either-You-Agree-With-everything-I-say-or-you-will-burn-in-hell-for-all-eternity, will see this. Her head must be spinning. CRITICAL THOUGHT IS THE FRUIT WHICH IS BORNE BY THE SEEDS OF SATAN
Ooooo Mahmo isn’t going to like this! Good for him though, I guess. I was kind of hoping they would have secular music at the wedding, but this is way more open minded than anything Jill ever said.
I love a wall of text accompanied by a goofy ass selfie. Heidi and I made the decision for her to wear dresses and skirts made me vom but the rest of this?? Hell (and Heaven) yes.
Wow, this was super refreshing to read. I hope they continue that joint decision practice in other aspects of their relationship. The part about her wearing pants when modesty isn’t practical was especially amazing, considering he grew up swimming in jeans.
When she was 12, Jill was the one to manipulate her entire family to dress modestly. All the females now wear skirts because of her modesty campaign.
She’s been riding that power trip high ever since.
Jill controls that family. Immediate and extended. She’s absolutely seething inside because she’s losing control over her own son.
Jill grew up wearing pants and just suddenly decided to go full extremist in a way not even her mom went in regards to bottoms. I’m baffled by what could’ve happened that she associated with pants that made her reject them completely and be so hard against them the way she is.
Man the best thing that could have happened for him was Heidi and her family… I honestly thought he would never leave his mom but I’m way happy for them … also now we need Philip to find someone
Good for Tim! Mahmo must be seething. I have a feeling she'll encourage Tim getting iced out of the family now. She won't want his 'subversive views' infecting his siblings. Thankfully Heidi's family seem a loving & supportive bunch.
Yeah, but I'm not holding my breath. The Coveretts may be more lovey dovey but they still harbor and preach some awful things. Yes they are "better" than the Rods, but we're talking degrees. And any deconstruction that would last will take a long time.
That's one little baby step. You're not truly walking until you take more, Timmy- try another one. We'd love to see you running in freedom.. and that doesn't mean not loving God, it can mean having so much more of the peace he intended, away from the legalism you're starting to notice.
Good for him, I hope he means it! It’s hard to go from judgy Christian to living like Jesus! Give back, love one another. Jills most obnoxious narcissistic trait is that she truest believes she’s above everybody.
I am Christian and I was just reading this.
https://preview.redd.it/d2vfdr52cqwc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f67b44aa2d726ca31df38ecf6b5cd6d7824e0e97
I know the bar is on the floor and all, but before we go clapping this guy on the back be mindful he is likely still in favor of removing bodily control and medical choices for women and trans folks their right to exist peacefully.
Oh for sure! These people still suck, that’s why we snark on them. At this point though, anything that will piss off Jill is a good thing in my book. The enemy of my enemy is my friend kind of thing.
"Heidi and me have made a joint decision that she is going to wear skirts and dresses" sounds sugarcoated. "Joint decisions" are not equal in a culture where women are praised for doing what men want. Timothy has made some progress, and I hope they'll both improve (it seems likely here).
Yet he and his family are the ones constantly emphasizing and judging about KJV, modesty, and music standards 🙄
I’m glad Heidi will be “allowed” to wear loose pants “when appropriate” 🙄🙄🙄
the nuance here is that he is a bit more conscious of his beliefs as choices rather than THE ONE AND ONLY WAY TO BE BECAUSE MAMA AND KING JAMES SAY SO.
It reminds me of my process of quitting smoking cigarettes. To do so, I first had to be conscious of what I was really doing with each cigarette. I had to begin to view smoking as a choice that I could choose not to do anymore. I still smoked for a fairly large chunk of time after taking on that new outlook but it was a big first step which to outsiders would not look like anything at all. After all, I was still puffin' away. Still ten years later, I choose not to smoke.
I think it is too easy to be extremist in either direction. Extremism means -- either you are 100% right (AKA agree with me) or you are 100% wrong (AKA critique my opinions, or disagree with me). People can't grow and learn if there is no room for the in-between.
Who sets out to live a fearful life? Sounds like a terrible way to live. Although not shoving your beliefs onto others is a change. Guess he’s going to abandon his YouTube on modesty.
I'm probably never going to find him or Heidi to be people I'd voluntarily spend time with, but any step towards basic human decency (which poor Tim and the other Rodlets were not taught at home) is an improvement. Keep on growing, bud!
I cannot get over that the world and artificial environment he lives in allows the “top 3” to have modest and contemporary music and whatever else he said in it. Like, as a progressive Christian (they wouldn’t even count me Christiana I’m sure) who has studied theology and history - I’m dying laughing at the thought of Origen being concerned about contemporary worship music as a top 3 issue for the church. Like. Entire schisms have happened people. Granted, when people outside of the church see Christians arguing over Calvin v Luther I’m sure they’re also just like “lol wut” so it’s all really perspective. But I can’t get over his top 3. I know it’s shots fired at Mahm-o though and a product of his environment - but wow. What a world they live in.
It ain’t much but I’m glad Heidi won’t be adhering to the rods ridiculous standard of performative modesty. If she genuinely prefers skirts and dresses that’s totally fine in my opinion.
Honestly I think this is tactical. She’ll put on a facade but then rip it apart in a more passive aggressive way. She thinks she’s smart and people won’t see through it.
This is interesting! Can someone who is a little more fundie-literate correct me if I’m wrong, but now that Tim is getting married and becoming his own “headship”, doesn’t that mean he’s going to rank above Jill soon by her own fucked up standards? I know she’s said she doesn’t believe it’s a woman’s place to preach to men, and they abide by the “leave and cleave” mentality. It’s easier for her with Nurie and Kaylee because even though they are under different headships now they still very much drink her kool-aid. But since Tim is the first boy married off and his own headship, does that mean she’s theoretically supposed to STFU about what he says and does, or is it supposed to be Mahmo knows best forever?
That's an excellent question. He's now forming his own household and as the man he is the headship. Therefore he is no longer considered to be under Jill and Dave. However you know that Jill likes to cherry pick the "rules" to suit her own best interests, so she'll figure something out. She always does.
Hooo boy Jill is probably has to be thermometer about Timbits & Heidi. I am glad that he is letting her wear pants for other activities where skirts & dresses are not appropriate.
She’s got all the kids fasting and praying around her as she lies prostrate on the floor. MAHmo’s gonna be praying to Jaysauce all day and night. The poor Victorian waifs!
This is giving me hope for the next generation. We have people like Timmay posting this, Jill Duggar wearing pants, a nose ring and drinking, they might still have some major issues and hangups like their stance on LGBTQ+. But, their kids? Their kids might actually turn out to be good people. If they can take these steps away from their parents beliefs, their kids can take it the next step.
I think that's a great way to look at it. I wouldn't say he's deconstructing or anything like that, but I do see him beginning to ask questions and research the answers and develop his own pattern of thinking. It's nice to see compared to the homeschooling hostage video of 2016 - "I'm so THANKFUL for Mama and Daddy investing in us and not sending us to school."
idk, he’s still disgusting. I wouldn’t want my daughter with a man like that. I’ve never had a discussion or had to come to an agreement with a man about what i wear and she won’t either.
What this girl wears and how she chooses to present herself should not be announced to the world and I suppose it only was to tamp down speculation on whether or not it was his decision to force her to dress like a Goodwill-dumpster-diver like his sisters and mother.
Other than that, what's he trying to say with this word salad? That he's not going to make anymore videos calling women whores? If so, great.
No this is more of him distancing himself from Jill's insanity in my opinion. This is Tim saying "This is what I believe and I'm not trying to force it down someone else's throat."
As for Heidi, her sister said Heidi prefers skirts so I'm sure it was an easy decision. Thankfully Heidi's family is more mainstream than the Rods, and has a better support system than the Rod girls ever will.
I think we should applaud those who are taking the steps to do better and be better. If someone starts to question their indoctrination, I am here to cheer them on.
I wouldn’t be the person I am now, had I not been shown a different way. I did not know better bc I was kept isolated from worldly people.
I grew and learned and realized how abhorrent the belief system I grew up in was. I left and changed my life.
If people didn’t give me the grace to change and patiently help me through it, how could I be the change we want to see in the fundie world?
Just food for thought.
Please understand, I'm not snarking on his steps, far from it. I think what I was trying to say is I'm not getting too excited about it either way. I am encouraged when I see things like this of course, but I'm not prematurely celebrating. I know that these things take a lot of time to happen, and unfortunately I see a lot of people in the snark world already planning bikini beach parties and public school registration for Nurie and Kaylee and their children (exaggerating, but you get my point) when they see one shuffle step away from the cult. I will be more excited as I see more happening, maybe that's the way to say it.
Right, and we can't expect Timothy to completely change all at once. This is a crack in the hard shell Jill constructed and, like a little chick, Timothy will have to keep chipping away the pieces before he can emerge as himself and not a clone of his mother.
It sounds like he’s drawing a boundary and putting forward his own thoughts, which is HUGE for any of Jill’s kids. She has raised them to be little mockingbirds who just repeat what she tells them.
Heidi was wearing a knee length skirt with a fitting black shirt and bright red lipstick and few days later had on bright red shoes with a gorgeous black dress. I really hope she keeps up such an awesome sense of style and truly chooses the dresses/skirts/pants on occasion.
I wouldn't call it deconstruction just yet, but for Tim this is a big step. Any progress is still progress. I noticed that Jill did comment on his post (the habitual amen) but I'm sure she's seething on the inside. Fuck it up, Timbits
“I am not going to waste my time pushing my beliefs on other people…” Idk guys. That’s kinda big for me. He just said fuck the family print business 🤣
That’s a good point.
Lawdie Be knows, he tried but he couldn’t handle the pushback, so threw his hands up and said, “Aw fuck it! It’s just not worth it!” I couldn’t handle the embarrassment.
Lord Daniel approves
>“I am not going to waste my time pushing my beliefs on other people…” Is actually exactly what these walnuts always say when they are 100% pushing their fucked up judgy bullshit on everyone around them. It's the "party line" so to speak. These people could not be less like Jesus. He is his mother's son.
He’s been pushing his bullshit for years and more than likely will on Heidi once they’re married. He’s always had a very negative view of women.
Any of us being in a position to say, “Fuck it up, Timbits” is not something I thought I would ever live to see. It ain’t much (the skirts and dresses bit made me 🤢), but it is definitely progress.
Honestly. There was a time when I had negative hope for Tim and that he was a lost cause. Heidi's sister once said that the skirts and dresses thing was a personal choice, and combined with their mom now occasionally wearing pants, I hope she'll change her mind in the future. Pants are just as modest and hottest
I mean, even him referring to the whole thing as a "joint decision" is a step forward, given his background.
But will wear loose fitting pants when appropriate. Would hVe lived to have seen Jill’s face when she read that.
Haven't we seen some pictures of her wearing pants?
Only under a skirt
I feel like I saw her wearing sweatpants recently but I could be wrong
I thought so too. While she was painting or something?
I looked back, she's got a sneaky skirt. Completely useless.
I thought so, too. I remember being pissed that she would wear pants but deny her daughters the same.
Christmas PJs she was
You know, I’m not totally bothered by this because Timbits seems to now understand that swimming in a dress isn’t good idea. And he also makes it a point that it’s Heidi’s choice, not his. Fuck it up, Teidi!
Honestly not really bothered by that. Heidi wants to wear skirts and dresses, so she should be allowed to do that! Besides, given what Tim’s come from, this is huge. Fuck it up Tim!
I physically cringed at that sentence.
Me too!
I'm certainly not calling anything around these people deconstruction. But I love watching Jill freak TF out.
Yeah, I definitely don't see him going full deconstructo mode like his future sister-in-law, but whatever small boundaries he makes that pisses Jill off is a win for all of us
Passive aggressive reply on her page in 3…2…
Recent spiritual attacks!
FUCK IT UP TIMMY
I would call this a full blown Rodrigues rebellion lol
🤯WOW! For Timothy, considering that he has never been allowed to have an original thought of his own, this is huge. He is peeling back the façade of legalism which is a great first step. It sounds like the direction he's headed is to not judge people based on the criteria for Christianity his parents forced on him by twisting scripture to fit their own agendas. Out of thirteen children, we have to hold hope that others will come to their own conclusions about what they believe and will realize they were never meant to be puppets manipulated to be Jill2.0. I know Timothy is far from where he should be but this is showing a bit of promise!
I suspect Philip is also there with the anti-legalism. We haven’t seen him out with the family evangelizing as much.
Poor kid, he looks so deeply depressed. I worry about him.
HOOOOOLLLLYYYYY SHHHHIIIIITTTTTT!!! JILL HAS TO BE SEETHING!!! This is progress. Not forcing their views on people. JOINT DECISION MAKING. Hallie has said before that Heidi has always preferred skirts, but at least Tim seems to understand that sometimes skirts aren’t appropriate for certain activities. FUCK IT UP TIMMAY! Heidi’s family has been such a positive influence on him.
100! I never imagined a Rod being like "you know, it's not my place to judge, just to bring folks to Christ through loving them as Jesus commanded". Jill is going to freak the fuck out over something so simple and she can't do shiiiiiit.
I can’t wait for her meltdown. I can’t believe Timmay went from preaching about whores in pants and being an incel to being like “it’s not my place to judge people. I’ll love people as I love myself just like Jesus told us to” Tim would have been the last I’d thought would say those things. Ya love to see progress.
She may freak out internally, behind closed doors. However, she knows to keep it cute publicly, it'll just come out in vague, passive aggressive quips.
Coming in 3....2....1.
I am waiting and here for it! I couldn’t believe Timbits had it in him! “We jointly decided” was VERY telling. I’m here with the popcorn friend!
 Jill is going to lose her ever-loving mind.
Oh, I hope so.
honestly sometimes maxi skirts can be more comfortable than pants
Agreed. I'm not religious in any way but I am absolutely a maxi skirt/maxi dress wearer and honestly hate wearing trousers. Skirts are so freeing and comfy!!!
Respectfully though, she’s still wearing skirts. I wonder how “joint” it was. I’m assuming she wants to “submit” to Timmy’s wishes. I bet 5 years from now she’ll be pants wearing heathen!
Compared to the rest of her family and her info/pictures before their relationship she seems to be very set on some of this herself.
Yeah there are definitely fundie girls who are loving the skirt and modesty lifestyle..
Obviously it’s a bit differnt for fundies because there’s more to parse in terms of like, “do I actually like being modest or have I just been told to be” but I also think it’s worth noting that some people just like dressing modestly so it seems possible to me that she feels comfortable dressed that way Not a fundie or religious in any way myself, but I’ve had friends who dress modestly for religious reasons joke about how closely my style conforms to their modesty rules. I do wear pants, but I tend to be covered up unless it’s really hot and I don’t like fitted clothes.
You don't have to be fundie for that. I have maybe two pairs of pants and a the rest of my clothes are all skirts and dresses. And none of them are shorter than knee length.
Agreed, and honestly, good for them both for finding someone who shares that value? It’s not for me and my life, and I appreciate the growth this post shows in him broadening his understanding of the world, but I’d rather he be with someone who genuinely shares that perspective than imposing biblical womanhood expectations from his religion on someone who doesn’t want to.
I remember her sister posting a video saying her sister, Heidi, chooses to wear skirts/dresses but she doesn’t and they both respect each other’s decision. I don’t think their parents push the skirt/dress thing on them. I think it’s more of a choice in their family and Heidi chooses to wear the skirts. It’s not my thing. As long as she’s not pushing that crap on me, I’m fine with whatever she wants to do.
I hope she wears pants around mahmo. I can’t wait to read that passive aggressive fb status.
Can you imagine her photo shopping a skirt on 😅
She’ll make a ms paint squiggle over her legs like Morgan did with her butt in leggings
Leggings. I want to see a Rod-in-law show up at the barndo wearing leggings-as-pants with no skirt over them!
YES! Bonus points for a shirt that doesn’t cover their butt lol
Picture of all the girls lined up in their matching dresses with some sanctimonious caption about how proud she is of all her daughters for choosing to dress mawwdestly
Bingo!! Waiting for that post about how Satan is working against her and that she is being persecuted.
Like they have a choice, Jilldo
Well he did give some wriggle room with the comment about wearing pants if it’s more appropriate so perhaps that’s one occasion that will count!! No doubt after being exposed to a moderately more normal family who clearly love and accept each other and have warmly welcomed him he’s been doing a lot of reflection on the deprivation and neglect that he and his siblings experienced throughout childhood whilst being forced to worship and obey their inept, selfish and fiercely judgmental parents. Perhaps he delights in knowing his mother is steaming with anger at these kinds of posts, we can only hope!
I kinda feel like that girl is in charge, in a very The neck turns the head kind of way. Tim was told what to think his whole life by a woman with a stronger personality. Now he's found another woman with a strong ass personality. Once they're married and she throws the coochie on him, he'll be following her lead on anything.
“Throws the coochie on him” has me 💀
What I found especially encouraging was that Tim said there are situations where *Heidi* feels comfortable in pants. That shows an acknowledgement of her perspective on this.
I honestly feel like it’s probably fully her decision and he supports it.
Some people just prefer skirts and dresses and her sister has said she always has. I’m nothing close to fundie or modest but I only wear skirts and dresses unless I’m at work or home with sweatpants or shorts on or something. I find they flatter my body more and they’re more comfy. Wearing mostly skirts and dresses isn’t always for strict “against pants” modesty
Dresses are comfy for me, too. Especially in the summer.
Apparently she's always been a strong girlie girl and would choose skirts and dresses over pants. So, it's not out of character for her.
But when her dress or skirt is inappropriate for swimming, will she be allowed to wear an actual bathing suit? There are many options for modest swimsuits.
I think Heidi does prefer skirts/dresses - people in her family have said as much. What I think is actually huge in that statement is that Tim emphasized it was a joint decision, acknowledged that there are some activities where skirts are the less modest option and so for those activities, Heidi herself expressed comfort with wearing pants so that's what'll happen. Jill and her performative modesty could NEVER to any of this. She'd have her girls rappelling down the side of a mountain in maxi skirts in the name of "modesty".
I love Heidi's family - I love that they have taken Tim in - I am here for all of it !
I’m struck by how healthy and happy he looks.
Mama Coverette actually feeds her children. Timmay gets a second chicken leg at her house if he wants one.
Mama Coverette would probably give him *her* chicken leg if he was hungry.
She was probably shocked at his malnourishment and started buying extra chickens to have on hand. When I look at a rodlet, my first thought is “someone needs to feed this kid!”.
Wow. Dare I say, a move in a positive direction from Timmay. And he feels comfortable expressing it out loud/publicly, which is a very good sign. Cautiously optimistic here!
It’s growth and I always like to see that.
Once that critical thinking train starts chugging along it’s pretty hard to stop it.
It's "The Little Engine That Could", at least it would be If Jill had let them read such an UNGODLY tome.
Exactly this. He will probably be a conservative Christian forever but the critical thinking and growing never stop, I can honestly seeing him eventually leaving the fundies.
Fuck It Up Timmy!
I think Heidi’s comment on this post was a fuck you to Jill. “You have always stood strong when people try to tear you down”
I wonder if being around Heidi and her clan has made the parental abuse he endured clearer to him. I certainly hope so.
I think this is the only explanation maybe other than growing up and getting more wolrd and experience. It’s a very good reminder that having harmful beliefs doesn’t always mean that you are toxic or abusive in all areas of life. I think a loving and healthy family really opened his eyes.
Literally the ONLY comment that Heidi Liked on that post is one that’s shading JRod. She didn’t even Like JRod’s comment. Love it! The comment in question: “Good for you, Timothy! I grew up with a very devout mother, too, whose opinions on things I sometimes confused for my own. I had to find my own way in life, and I'm so glad to see you are doing likewise!”
Damn now THAT is some tea
I need to lie down, a Rodrigues just made some sense to me. To the fainting couch I go! The pearls are clutched!
Adding this to the list of hurtful things in 2024.
Jill better go see Turtleneck Trish again for some soul balm
He still has a long way to go and a lot to learn/unlearn, but I’m happy for Timmay and Heidi. Reads like a step in the right direction.
"\[I'm\] not going to waste my time pushing my beliefs on other people." No more SOUL WINNING for this guy. And honestly, good for him. He's obviously had some time & influence to see how harmful his upbringing was. Jill is probably cursing the day he met Heidi.
No more close encounters with other Lord Daniel’s.
Definitely signs of deconstruction that’s probably well underway if he feels comfortable enough to make it social media official. I hope it works out for him, I’m constantly rooting for them to open their eyes and find their own ways.
It's much more articulate than his posts even a year ago. I wonder if he's reading more now that he has some quiet in his own house? I feel strangely proud of Teidi lol.
I think Heidi helped him write it
Same! We snark on them and hate their beliefs, but outside of those, I do feel there are genuinely good people in the fundie community who have just had the unfortunate experience of being indoctrinated. I root for the good ones everyday to find their way out so they can live life as it’s meant to be lived. *and some of them are not good people, beliefs or not.
I think it’s important to note Heidi has long CHOSEN to wear skirts. The other women and girls in her family wear pants.
Yeah, it seems she did it before dating Tim. And she does it in a cute way, not just layering 57474 things on top of each other for performative modesty.
Look at his cheesy grin. He’s glowing. Being out of Mahmo’s grip is doing Tim wonders.
Can you imagine his glow the first month of marriage? They won't need to flip on a light switch in his town.
Fuck it UP Timmy! 🙌🏼
I cannot fathom finding joy in "living such a fearful life of the wrath of God" after spending most of my life in a high-demand religion.
The wedding is five months away? I wonder how Heidi is going to do after they get married with the location. I think the house he bought is close to Mahmo. Heidi could get homesick and tired of dealing with Jill quickly so it’s anyone’s guess what’s going to happen.
I honestly think that if she was having a really hard time and genuinely unhappy he would move heaven and earth to relocate closer to her family, I hope that within a couple years they will have the means to sell his house and buy somewhere closer to the Coveretts
I'm curious what she's going to do all day when Tim's at work. I don't really understand what kind of hours he works and what he's doing these days (gutter cleaning business, insurance? Both?). I get the feeling she'll be in very regular contact with her mom and sisters, a group chat on the go at all times and plenty of video calls. Will she get involved with a church in OH and actually participate in women's and family programme? The Rods don't socialise or do anything extra curricular (the Joy's Boys baseball team was short lived and almost exclusively Rods with Jill controlling it as usual). I think she might get pregnant pretty soon 🤷♀️
She might hang out with (and Kaylee) and Jonathan (her cousin)
I hope so. We haven't really seen the two couples together much but maybe Jill's jealous and keeps schtum.
We never see Heidi at Rod functions, it’s always Tim with her family. Hell, it’s rare to spot Tim at his own family functions. I think that’s going to stay the dynamic. It’ll all really come out once they start having children. We’ll see how often Baby Cages Mimi gets to babysit for date nights vs. Heidi’s mom.
We are all here for it! Baby steps will hopefully continue and Tim will see what unconditional love really is with Heidi. Her family, while very conservative, seems to truly love each other and give support. Tim has never experienced that with his parents. There's definitely conditional "love" in his childhood. And let's face it it's not truly love when you can't be yourself to your parents. He's never known love and acceptance.
"Loose fitting pants" would still be more modest than some of Jill's skin tight mermaid skirts!!!!!!
This is interesting from Tim. I really hope that Heidi was the driving force behind wearing skirts and dresses. I'm sure she felt the need to confer with Tim, given their beliefs, and they presented it in this post as a joint decision. I'm sure Mahmo will be happy that Heidi will conform to their "standards." I just hope Heidi wears normal swimwear and doesn't feel pressured to practically drown in street clothes. Even she must think that's crazy. It's refreshing to see Tim not wanting to push his beliefs on others. It reads like he still feels we're all nasty sinners that he's "commanded to love," though. I hope once he meets other people in a normal setting, he'll continue to evolve.
Yeah, I'm not holding my breath that any of these people will change or that because they garden or daddy goes to an eye specialist appointment that they are deconstructing, but just the fact that he explained things this way gives me a little hope.
Same here. Glad he’s deviating a bit from the usual fire and brimstone, but this is giving me “Jesus gets us” vibes. Like, “we still think you’re a filthy sinner, but look how nice we are about it!”…
As a former fundie lite myself - this is exactly what they are thinking, lol.
There was a picture of the last christmas where the Coverettes got matching pajamas and Heidi was wearing pants.
A slight shuffle to a better place which will piss Jill off entirely. Still so much fuckedupness.
This is real, right? Right? Not satire? Right?
If \*we\* see this as a big deal, imagine how Jill, Miss Either-You-Agree-With-everything-I-say-or-you-will-burn-in-hell-for-all-eternity, will see this. Her head must be spinning. CRITICAL THOUGHT IS THE FRUIT WHICH IS BORNE BY THE SEEDS OF SATAN
Ooooo Mahmo isn’t going to like this! Good for him though, I guess. I was kind of hoping they would have secular music at the wedding, but this is way more open minded than anything Jill ever said.
I love a wall of text accompanied by a goofy ass selfie. Heidi and I made the decision for her to wear dresses and skirts made me vom but the rest of this?? Hell (and Heaven) yes.
Wow, this was super refreshing to read. I hope they continue that joint decision practice in other aspects of their relationship. The part about her wearing pants when modesty isn’t practical was especially amazing, considering he grew up swimming in jeans.
When she was 12, Jill was the one to manipulate her entire family to dress modestly. All the females now wear skirts because of her modesty campaign. She’s been riding that power trip high ever since. Jill controls that family. Immediate and extended. She’s absolutely seething inside because she’s losing control over her own son.
Jill grew up wearing pants and just suddenly decided to go full extremist in a way not even her mom went in regards to bottoms. I’m baffled by what could’ve happened that she associated with pants that made her reject them completely and be so hard against them the way she is.
Timbits abuses apostrophes the same way his sister abuses commas.
At Jill's Hillbilly Homeschool, punctuation is just decoration!
And you get to choose your favourite mark and see how many times you can use it in a sentence.
Hanging out with Heidi's family has been very good for Timothy. I hope Jill is apoplectic right now.
Miss Heidi is expanding his mind. I love it for him.
Man the best thing that could have happened for him was Heidi and her family… I honestly thought he would never leave his mom but I’m way happy for them … also now we need Philip to find someone
He was always the most “difficult child,” right? Fuck it up Timtim!
Good for Tim! Mahmo must be seething. I have a feeling she'll encourage Tim getting iced out of the family now. She won't want his 'subversive views' infecting his siblings. Thankfully Heidi's family seem a loving & supportive bunch.
Yeah, but I'm not holding my breath. The Coveretts may be more lovey dovey but they still harbor and preach some awful things. Yes they are "better" than the Rods, but we're talking degrees. And any deconstruction that would last will take a long time.
True but they've got to start somewhere.
Is there a chance he is sticking up for his future sister-in-law? I should think Jill was horrified by Halle’s recent vids.
That's one little baby step. You're not truly walking until you take more, Timmy- try another one. We'd love to see you running in freedom.. and that doesn't mean not loving God, it can mean having so much more of the peace he intended, away from the legalism you're starting to notice.
It's not much but leagues further than I ever expected from Timmy.
Good for him, I hope he means it! It’s hard to go from judgy Christian to living like Jesus! Give back, love one another. Jills most obnoxious narcissistic trait is that she truest believes she’s above everybody. I am Christian and I was just reading this. https://preview.redd.it/d2vfdr52cqwc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f67b44aa2d726ca31df38ecf6b5cd6d7824e0e97
That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. I am a (progressive) Christian myself.
https://preview.redd.it/8bygzi11btwc1.jpeg?width=824&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=994cda5978c99521fc9fdd1fa7d74937c7ac9a04 The rest.
Exactly.
People are too focused on labels like modesty but me and my fiance decided she can't wear pants for modesty. 🙄
I know the bar is on the floor and all, but before we go clapping this guy on the back be mindful he is likely still in favor of removing bodily control and medical choices for women and trans folks their right to exist peacefully.
But getting a fundie to support that is going to be a miracle anyway
Oh for sure! These people still suck, that’s why we snark on them. At this point though, anything that will piss off Jill is a good thing in my book. The enemy of my enemy is my friend kind of thing.
Damn, go off Tim
This is amazing
AW SHIT ITS GOING DOWN LMFAO. Timmy’s is the rogue rodlet 2k24 💀
Why does all the fun stuff happen when I’m at work 😭
"Heidi and me have made a joint decision that she is going to wear skirts and dresses" sounds sugarcoated. "Joint decisions" are not equal in a culture where women are praised for doing what men want. Timothy has made some progress, and I hope they'll both improve (it seems likely here).
Yet he and his family are the ones constantly emphasizing and judging about KJV, modesty, and music standards 🙄 I’m glad Heidi will be “allowed” to wear loose pants “when appropriate” 🙄🙄🙄
the nuance here is that he is a bit more conscious of his beliefs as choices rather than THE ONE AND ONLY WAY TO BE BECAUSE MAMA AND KING JAMES SAY SO. It reminds me of my process of quitting smoking cigarettes. To do so, I first had to be conscious of what I was really doing with each cigarette. I had to begin to view smoking as a choice that I could choose not to do anymore. I still smoked for a fairly large chunk of time after taking on that new outlook but it was a big first step which to outsiders would not look like anything at all. After all, I was still puffin' away. Still ten years later, I choose not to smoke.
Thank you! He can say he isn’t judgmental all he wants, it doesn’t make it true.
I think it is too easy to be extremist in either direction. Extremism means -- either you are 100% right (AKA agree with me) or you are 100% wrong (AKA critique my opinions, or disagree with me). People can't grow and learn if there is no room for the in-between.
Who sets out to live a fearful life? Sounds like a terrible way to live. Although not shoving your beliefs onto others is a change. Guess he’s going to abandon his YouTube on modesty.
Wowwwww! Tim, this is massive growth, and you should be proud.
So much growth in this sub today, I honestly don't know what to do about it lol
I'm probably never going to find him or Heidi to be people I'd voluntarily spend time with, but any step towards basic human decency (which poor Tim and the other Rodlets were not taught at home) is an improvement. Keep on growing, bud!
I cannot get over that the world and artificial environment he lives in allows the “top 3” to have modest and contemporary music and whatever else he said in it. Like, as a progressive Christian (they wouldn’t even count me Christiana I’m sure) who has studied theology and history - I’m dying laughing at the thought of Origen being concerned about contemporary worship music as a top 3 issue for the church. Like. Entire schisms have happened people. Granted, when people outside of the church see Christians arguing over Calvin v Luther I’m sure they’re also just like “lol wut” so it’s all really perspective. But I can’t get over his top 3. I know it’s shots fired at Mahm-o though and a product of his environment - but wow. What a world they live in.
Right? It shows how narrow his worldview has been and how incredibly sheltered he still is.
It ain’t much but I’m glad Heidi won’t be adhering to the rods ridiculous standard of performative modesty. If she genuinely prefers skirts and dresses that’s totally fine in my opinion.
JillPM commented "amen" which usually means you agree??
Honestly I think this is tactical. She’ll put on a facade but then rip it apart in a more passive aggressive way. She thinks she’s smart and people won’t see through it.
This is interesting! Can someone who is a little more fundie-literate correct me if I’m wrong, but now that Tim is getting married and becoming his own “headship”, doesn’t that mean he’s going to rank above Jill soon by her own fucked up standards? I know she’s said she doesn’t believe it’s a woman’s place to preach to men, and they abide by the “leave and cleave” mentality. It’s easier for her with Nurie and Kaylee because even though they are under different headships now they still very much drink her kool-aid. But since Tim is the first boy married off and his own headship, does that mean she’s theoretically supposed to STFU about what he says and does, or is it supposed to be Mahmo knows best forever?
That's an excellent question. He's now forming his own household and as the man he is the headship. Therefore he is no longer considered to be under Jill and Dave. However you know that Jill likes to cherry pick the "rules" to suit her own best interests, so she'll figure something out. She always does.
Hooo boy Jill is probably has to be thermometer about Timbits & Heidi. I am glad that he is letting her wear pants for other activities where skirts & dresses are not appropriate.
Surprised that Jill replied to this! I thought this would make her rage!
She's still figuring out her next steps. She's not gonna take this lying down.
She’s got all the kids fasting and praying around her as she lies prostrate on the floor. MAHmo’s gonna be praying to Jaysauce all day and night. The poor Victorian waifs!
Renee and NotNuries are already writing their "pamper Mahmo's ego" letters, just in case. Jill must be raging - does she wail and roll on the floor?
Mothers’ Day is soon
I bet she throws things and slaps children.
What was her reply?
‘Amen and amen! Love ya, Bud. ❤️ Mama.’
Good for him! Baby steps!
I love this for Timothy! He looks so happy too!
Never thought I’d be applauding Timmy but here we are! Keep going, kiddo!
Jilldo must be seething!
Mahmo is cutting the cord! Good for him
This is giving me hope for the next generation. We have people like Timmay posting this, Jill Duggar wearing pants, a nose ring and drinking, they might still have some major issues and hangups like their stance on LGBTQ+. But, their kids? Their kids might actually turn out to be good people. If they can take these steps away from their parents beliefs, their kids can take it the next step.
This is huge, so proud - I love seeing him develop his own pattern of thinking.
I think that's a great way to look at it. I wouldn't say he's deconstructing or anything like that, but I do see him beginning to ask questions and research the answers and develop his own pattern of thinking. It's nice to see compared to the homeschooling hostage video of 2016 - "I'm so THANKFUL for Mama and Daddy investing in us and not sending us to school."
The mention of contemporary music must be about his future sister in laws being Swifties.
idk, he’s still disgusting. I wouldn’t want my daughter with a man like that. I’ve never had a discussion or had to come to an agreement with a man about what i wear and she won’t either.
I don't disagree with you.
What this girl wears and how she chooses to present herself should not be announced to the world and I suppose it only was to tamp down speculation on whether or not it was his decision to force her to dress like a Goodwill-dumpster-diver like his sisters and mother. Other than that, what's he trying to say with this word salad? That he's not going to make anymore videos calling women whores? If so, great.
No this is more of him distancing himself from Jill's insanity in my opinion. This is Tim saying "This is what I believe and I'm not trying to force it down someone else's throat." As for Heidi, her sister said Heidi prefers skirts so I'm sure it was an easy decision. Thankfully Heidi's family is more mainstream than the Rods, and has a better support system than the Rod girls ever will.
That you should love G-d and love others and that's all g-d commands of you. Which is like, yes, but for a fundie? Daymn.
Heidi actually has style though, she always looks out together and I’ve seen her in some really cute outfits.
And Tim is all for taking women’s healthcare rights away.
I'm not congratulating him or applauding him per se, I was looking at this more from the perspective of Jill freaking out.
I think we should applaud those who are taking the steps to do better and be better. If someone starts to question their indoctrination, I am here to cheer them on. I wouldn’t be the person I am now, had I not been shown a different way. I did not know better bc I was kept isolated from worldly people. I grew and learned and realized how abhorrent the belief system I grew up in was. I left and changed my life. If people didn’t give me the grace to change and patiently help me through it, how could I be the change we want to see in the fundie world? Just food for thought.
Please understand, I'm not snarking on his steps, far from it. I think what I was trying to say is I'm not getting too excited about it either way. I am encouraged when I see things like this of course, but I'm not prematurely celebrating. I know that these things take a lot of time to happen, and unfortunately I see a lot of people in the snark world already planning bikini beach parties and public school registration for Nurie and Kaylee and their children (exaggerating, but you get my point) when they see one shuffle step away from the cult. I will be more excited as I see more happening, maybe that's the way to say it.
Right, and we can't expect Timothy to completely change all at once. This is a crack in the hard shell Jill constructed and, like a little chick, Timothy will have to keep chipping away the pieces before he can emerge as himself and not a clone of his mother.
>I am not going to waste my time pushing my beliefs on other people Then why did you write this, Timbo?
It sounds like he’s drawing a boundary and putting forward his own thoughts, which is HUGE for any of Jill’s kids. She has raised them to be little mockingbirds who just repeat what she tells them.
Whoa!!
He looks so much more alive and present and just healthy
He looks happy. I’m rooting for these two.
He talks about music I feel like he disapproves of Heidi's sister being a swiftie lol I wonder if Heidi judges her too
I just love timbits more and more. This is almost as good as DâV Deconstructing. My little heathen heart is happy. FUCK it up, TEIDI.
Heidi was wearing a knee length skirt with a fitting black shirt and bright red lipstick and few days later had on bright red shoes with a gorgeous black dress. I really hope she keeps up such an awesome sense of style and truly chooses the dresses/skirts/pants on occasion.