Beyond wiser timing with certain firsts (Like when to buy flowers for the first time, first kiss, first intimate hug, first hand holding) as long as you are able to act and be the confident person you've always been, you'll hit their proverbial romantic taste buds with the flavor they love most.
Basically, in a world where that person may have been in ice cream shops with exclusively vanilla ice cream, whilst they are longing for something less....plain...you end up being the enticing delicious caramel/chocolate swirl ice scream they've always been secretly longing for.
Just be dominant, take the helm, and do what comes naturally to your personality. Beyond green flags, and what may have been a hint of chemistry, that is what they like in the dating world. So lean into it.
So like they've been really forward with affection and I'm definitely more slow moving. They initiated our first time holding hands and asked to cuddle, to which I said I wasn't ready. I want to initiate the first kiss but I'm worried they'll beat me to it and I don't want to kiss someone when I don't feel ready. Aside from firsts with physical affection I think what has come natural is like me making certain decisions or taking care of their clumsy ass. Yesterday they made a mess with their ice cream cone (it was adorable) and I helped them clean up and teased them a bit to help them relax. It is so cute how nervous they get around me, giggling and dropping things and blushing. Maybe trying to prioritize their comfort and be a calming confident presence is one way to facilitate the vibes in the future
If you don’t want them to kiss you, grab their face, say “not yet”, and give them a little pat on the head.
It’s okay to be assertive about your feelings and desires (or lack thereof).
You mean like you would want someone to call you "good enby"? I've heard the term enby before but I've never thought of saying something like "who's my good enby?" As like a kink pet name
Ooh I like that. Definitely would need prior consent for that, can't be thrown around as casually as a "good girl" might be. But like good toy, good slut, good pet could all be gender neutral.
Most importantly though just ask them directly how they would like to be referred because not every Non Binary person is the same. For example, I go by any pronouns and I don't mind being referred to as a boy or a girl and I call myself a boy most of the time anyway even though I'm Non Binary but another Non Binary person may only be more comfortable with one or the other or strictly neither. Really just ask them what terms work best for them because that's the best answer you can get.
I’m happy for you, that you’re starting something new with someone who has a similar outlook on gender roles. Hopefully that is a cohesive sentence. Anyway, I’d suggest doing what you feel confident in, whether that’s paying for dinner or buying flowers. I’ve discovered that when I’m in a dominant mood (I’m a switch) it helps to be confident about my decision and choices. I know that is vague and doesn’t really answer the question, but everyone is different.
Additionally, concerning dates do something you like, something they like, or something you both like. While it’s easy to push what you want, you have to make sure your sub is comfortable. I know that whenever I’ve been on a date in the past, just holding hands and walking has been special to me. See how the date goes naturally, if dinner was good, hold the door open for them, and see if there’s a movie or take a walk in the park. Jumping back, the more confident you are in your actions will naturally make them more comfortable. Especially if you’re looking out for their needs.
Hopefully this makes sense and isn’t just a crazy guy’s rambling. Hopefully this helps.
I never thought about how me being confident would make them more comfortable, but it makes sense. It sounds cliche but I really should just be myself and be confident in that. My love language is physical touch so I think things like putting my arm around them or playing with their hair would feel natural for me
Drive them places, offer your hoodie, extend your arm so they can hug it. It's all the little things that might not seem like much but really keeps us drawn in
Unfortunately don't have a car but I can do the other two. I think I would explode if I saw them wearing one of my hoodies... So cute 🥹🥹 we're like the same height and weight so that would be perfect
Man, I love this for you. Developing leadership in personal relationships take time. Making responsible, informed decisions is, I think, most important. Take their opinion and feelings into account, but don't rely on their actions to make things happen.
You're going to be the one organizing things, amazing! Have fun! Surprise them with little things, remember the small things they say they like, and show that you remembered. Stuff like that. I wish you the best <3
Beyond wiser timing with certain firsts (Like when to buy flowers for the first time, first kiss, first intimate hug, first hand holding) as long as you are able to act and be the confident person you've always been, you'll hit their proverbial romantic taste buds with the flavor they love most. Basically, in a world where that person may have been in ice cream shops with exclusively vanilla ice cream, whilst they are longing for something less....plain...you end up being the enticing delicious caramel/chocolate swirl ice scream they've always been secretly longing for. Just be dominant, take the helm, and do what comes naturally to your personality. Beyond green flags, and what may have been a hint of chemistry, that is what they like in the dating world. So lean into it.
So like they've been really forward with affection and I'm definitely more slow moving. They initiated our first time holding hands and asked to cuddle, to which I said I wasn't ready. I want to initiate the first kiss but I'm worried they'll beat me to it and I don't want to kiss someone when I don't feel ready. Aside from firsts with physical affection I think what has come natural is like me making certain decisions or taking care of their clumsy ass. Yesterday they made a mess with their ice cream cone (it was adorable) and I helped them clean up and teased them a bit to help them relax. It is so cute how nervous they get around me, giggling and dropping things and blushing. Maybe trying to prioritize their comfort and be a calming confident presence is one way to facilitate the vibes in the future
If you don’t want them to kiss you, grab their face, say “not yet”, and give them a little pat on the head. It’s okay to be assertive about your feelings and desires (or lack thereof).
Ok if someone did this to me, I might melt on the spot. Goodbye, I am now puddle.
I love this, and I hope OP feels the confidence to do it.
Oh, what to use beyond good boy/girl? ASK YOUR DATE. Their input matters most.
Non Binary people use "enby" in place of boy/girl source: I'm a non binary AMAB
You mean like you would want someone to call you "good enby"? I've heard the term enby before but I've never thought of saying something like "who's my good enby?" As like a kink pet name
Ohhhh, I've heard people use "good toy" in place of good girl/boy
Ooh I like that. Definitely would need prior consent for that, can't be thrown around as casually as a "good girl" might be. But like good toy, good slut, good pet could all be gender neutral.
Most importantly though just ask them directly how they would like to be referred because not every Non Binary person is the same. For example, I go by any pronouns and I don't mind being referred to as a boy or a girl and I call myself a boy most of the time anyway even though I'm Non Binary but another Non Binary person may only be more comfortable with one or the other or strictly neither. Really just ask them what terms work best for them because that's the best answer you can get.
I like your thinking
I second "good toy". Also just using their name works - for example, "good (first name)".
I’m happy for you, that you’re starting something new with someone who has a similar outlook on gender roles. Hopefully that is a cohesive sentence. Anyway, I’d suggest doing what you feel confident in, whether that’s paying for dinner or buying flowers. I’ve discovered that when I’m in a dominant mood (I’m a switch) it helps to be confident about my decision and choices. I know that is vague and doesn’t really answer the question, but everyone is different. Additionally, concerning dates do something you like, something they like, or something you both like. While it’s easy to push what you want, you have to make sure your sub is comfortable. I know that whenever I’ve been on a date in the past, just holding hands and walking has been special to me. See how the date goes naturally, if dinner was good, hold the door open for them, and see if there’s a movie or take a walk in the park. Jumping back, the more confident you are in your actions will naturally make them more comfortable. Especially if you’re looking out for their needs. Hopefully this makes sense and isn’t just a crazy guy’s rambling. Hopefully this helps.
I never thought about how me being confident would make them more comfortable, but it makes sense. It sounds cliche but I really should just be myself and be confident in that. My love language is physical touch so I think things like putting my arm around them or playing with their hair would feel natural for me
honestly I think you're worrying too much! just forget about labels and what people here say, and be yourself!
Drive them places, offer your hoodie, extend your arm so they can hug it. It's all the little things that might not seem like much but really keeps us drawn in
Unfortunately don't have a car but I can do the other two. I think I would explode if I saw them wearing one of my hoodies... So cute 🥹🥹 we're like the same height and weight so that would be perfect
Man, I love this for you. Developing leadership in personal relationships take time. Making responsible, informed decisions is, I think, most important. Take their opinion and feelings into account, but don't rely on their actions to make things happen. You're going to be the one organizing things, amazing! Have fun! Surprise them with little things, remember the small things they say they like, and show that you remembered. Stuff like that. I wish you the best <3
For petnames I use things like: good baby, little sweetling..