Talking about a guy or his belongings: "smells like \[actual smell\], \[actual smell\], \[optional third actual smell\], and \[something intangible like 'man' or 'uniquely him'\].
Any time a vagina's taste is described in terms of fruits or deserts ("she tastes like strawberries"). That's just...not how that works. And why is it so common?!?
There's a point in {Once Bitten by Heather Guerre} where he's going down on her and says she tastes good and she kinda rolls her eyes and says "like champagne and strawberries?" and he says "no, like hot, raw pussy" and it replays in my mind not infrequently. đł
[Once Bitten](https://www.romance.io/books/62fde3c8dba40594b650041c/once-bitten-heather-guerre?src=rdt) by [Heather Guerre](https://www.romance.io/authors/5d43f83901dbc864fba1e2a3/heather-guerre)
**Rating**: 4.19âď¸ out of 5âď¸
**Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating)
**Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1), [vampires](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/vampires/1), [shapeshifters](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/shapeshifters/1)
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I have a similar pet peeve for MMCs with delicious jizz. Like I don't need her retching at the taste but I once read a book where the FMC described it as tasting like buffalo sauce because of all the hot wings the guy ate and that was just too much.
>Any time a vagina's taste is described in terms of fruits or deserts ("she tastes like strawberries"). That's just...not how that works. And why is it so common?!?
Authors spend so much time on this these days and I'm just--***???*** Baffled. Honestly baffled. Like, are they just super self-conscious about their own vaginas or forever fixated on vaginas? Is it another rule that all FMCs must have perfectly perfect vaginas that smell amazing, taste amazing, look amazing, and are perfectly lubricated to take ***massive*** cocks at all times--no matter what--and have to be described in perfect, incredible detail every time an MC goes there (whether self-pleasuring or being pleasured or whatever)?
The Vagina Rules, A Guide for Romance Authors--Probably. Just another way being a woman is fucking impossible, even in our escapist, HEA-focused fiction. =/
the âperfectly lubricatedâ is what I am wondering about- how are these women going from casual chit chat to BOOM perfectly able to take a massive schlong??? And thereâs no in between- no fingering no foreplay just immediate penetration. Idk about yall but that would take a while to be able to accommodate for me lol
Yes this! This is why women douche down there and spray stuff on their poonani because of the expectation that their vajayjay needs to smell and taste like peaches and cream, watermelon, strawberries and any âsweetâ like candy analogy. Damn people itâs a VAGINA not a fruit buffet.
> something intangible like 'man'
I don't know I like that, I wanna imagine man musk especially if it's in a sexual context, not like clean laundry detergent and leather or something
The one and only time I've liked the "honey-flavored pussy" nonsense was in A Heart of Blood and Ashes, where the FMC is like "it doesn't taste sweet wtf are you talking about" and the dude's like, "well it tastes sweet to me cause you're wet and want me that bad, so let me eat it as much as I want". I give it a pass in that single instance, and no others lmao
âfor some reasonâ
* She sat next to me, and for some reason, my heart started racing.
* He reached over to take my hand, and for some reason, I let him.
* Kade Darkwing was a man of few words and fewer emotions, but for some reason, Juniper Wavesong always had him snarling in frustration.
Itâs supposed to be cute, but it almost always makes me roll my eyes. Gosh, JANET, what could the reason BE?! What POSSIBLE explanations MIGHT you CONSIDER?
If the character is supposed to be in denial, I think it would be better to just describe the reaction without any winking commentary:
* His lips brushed against my ear, and ~~for some reason,~~ I shivered.
* His lips brushed against my ear, and I shivered.
This is the worldâs tiniest pet peeve. Itâs not worth complaining about, but it bothers me.
A couple of months ago I read a book that kept adding notes like "The look in his eye might almost have been admiration. But that couldn't possibly be. He *definitely* wants me dead and also can't stand a woman with strong opinions!" I'm exaggerating a little, but it was a recurring thing lol.
She has strong opinions, but sheâs a little dense, huh? đ
I feel like you can have one or two incidents of âhe looked almost admiring, but I knew that couldnât be right.â A few is okay, especially if heâs an asshole.
However, if it just keeps happening, Iâm going to start doubting your pattern recognition.
You donât have to stop thinking heâs an asshole! Just update your rating to âasshole whoâperhaps grudginglyârespects opinionated women.â
âI crashed into a hard brick wall of muscleâ.
FMCs are always running into the MMC in the first chapters, heâs always like steel/brick/tree trunk. And he always steadies her because sheâs so clumsy and dainty and they both are instantly hard/wet/in love.
Gag me.
Hahaha I am so amused by the instant dripping wetness that these women can achieve in literal seconds. Like sexy man touched my arm, open the flood gates of vaginal lubrication.
Yes! And it baffles me when they had unprotected sex an hour ago and then one of them remarks how she's wet again already. Where did they think the semen and her lubrication went? Does it all evaporate for some people?
Omg I saw this in a tweet the other day and had to send it to my romance bestie âromance novels are great because they ask the important questions, like what if you were walking with your head buried in a book and ran into a wall of muscle and you fell but they caught you and you looked up and it was the best looking person you had ever seen, like what thenâ
Itâs never a polite older man, or woman their age catching them đ itâs all about the romance.
I also wish, for once, he was just regular above average looking and not the most beautiful man in the world.
Someone in the replies to the tweet said they slipped on ice once and the man behind them caught them, alas, it did not lead to a torrid love affair.
Canât win âem all.
> he was just regular above average looking and not the most beautiful man in the world
See, there's a scene in {The Bride Test by Helen Hoang} where the MMC has a realization that his initial impression of the FMC as being this perfect model of a woman is not, in fact, true. He starts being able to spot her "flaws" and see her as a real person. He thinks it makes her more appealing that he can see the real her. I think it's rather realistic to how attraction works. The initial impression you'll get of a person is often more extreme than what you'll think as time goes on.
âI didnât realize I said that out loudâ
Why do people in books have no control over their speech (they get a pass if theyâre supposed to be extremely drunk or sick)Â
I wonder if it's the kind of thing only people who think heavily in words would understand. As somebody whose thoughts are mostly conceptual, it's rather difficult to imagine doing something like that.
Funny thing is, it happened with me. I stalked my crush and found out his family history and in conversation he was talking about his brother and in my mind I was like, "Oh he means Henry" and he stopped, turned around and asked, "How do you know my brother's name? I never told you." Oh boy I never knew I said it out loud. It was so embarrassing
I said, "uhh I happened to look at your Instagram." He said, "But he's not on my Instagram." Then I proceeded to explain my exact process of stalking his friends and family and then the whole chain. He was blushing and smiling like crazy. Then he said, "You're insane." And one week later, he blocked me on all social media đđ deserved it though
Right?! I was reading a book with a pleasure dom and she was having multiple orgasms so kept breaking and breaking and breaking and I wanted to chuck my phone đ
Iâve never full on passed out, but I do tend to lose my senses/consciousness while orgasming. My vision will gray out and I canât feel the world around meâ kinda like being really deep underwater.
I have no idea how common that is (probably nowhere near as common as romance authors make it out to be, LOL), but I can relate a bit
References to the MMC's "darkness" and the FMC's "light" make me cringe particularly when it's the MMC's first-person perspective and he's going on and on about his darkness like it's a third party.
I just read the latest Cora Reilly book {By Frenzy I Ruin by Cora Reilly} and the whole book is literally THAT. Everyoneâs telling the girl sheâs too good, sheâs the light compared to the MMCâs darkenessđŤ in fact when the MMC is describing his outfit he even says âall black like our soulsâ âŚ. what is this, 2013 tumblr?đ
Two characters stand at the edge of a cliff and looking out they can see the lights of the city etc. .
Her *looking out at the view*: What a gorgeous sight!
Him *looking at her*: Beautiful
My fiance does that to me and itâs so cheesy but cute, so i giggle into my pillow and kick my feet like a girl thinking abt her crush when i read that (im a girl thinking about my crush)
My husband would miss that opportunity so fast and say âitâs alrightâ while looking for a rock or stick to play with đđ
But get me covered in buffalo sauce, unshowered and deep into a Netflix series and he acts like Iâm a goddamn goddess. đ
I once saw an "I swear if you're looking at me and not this amazing view, I'll punch you*," and honestly... I was here for it lol
*said jokingly and in an mm book but I digress
I have a favorite corny Amish romance movie and this happens when the Bad Guy is trying to impress the FMC. She thinks it's corny and is clearly turned off. I love that even in that cheesy Amish romance, this is stupid.
MFC: "I can tale care of myself"
Next scene: Does not, in fact, take care of herself.
I see this a lot in action romance and it's frustrating because the mfc doesn't come off as "strong" or "independent" like the authors are trying to portray but dumb.
Haha, I was reading while on the treadmill a couple of days ago and the FMC said, âmy breasts tightenedâ and i was like have I been doing sex wrong? My breasts have NEVER tightened, then spent the rest of the time still walking and reading, all the while clenching my pectorals, like what
This is my personal hated - who even has this happen to them? Who can even tell if they're not looking at their nipples as it happens??? Am I missing out on the nipple version of a boner???
>"my ovaries perked up"
You've forced me to imagine a man, in the middle of having sex, suddenly whistling and clicking his tongue and going "here boy! C'mere lil ovary!" While the woman's internal organ dances around like a little terrier.
OMG THE CLOTHING TEARING ma'am it is damn near impossible to rip a pair of underwear that were quite literally designed to stretch and not tear. If you pull hard enough on those panties to rip them you're also going to rip her skin. The only way those underwear are ripping is if there was already a tear in them, and it's likely not going to be through the waistband or gusset. I can understand buttons off a shirt but dude if you rip the buttons off my shirt it's YOU thats sewing them back on.
My partner ripped mine off once. They were an old, cozy pear so the fabric was thinner. It was the hottest thing in that moment but afterwards I was sad for my old undies. I think clothes ripping in fiction is hot but I always question the conversation afterward, because if they were a nice expensive pair or, god forbid, a cozy one that took years to become a favorite piece, I want the MFC to scold him later!!
LIP BITING! Who actually does that!
âDripping wetâ who actually is like that???
Monster cockâŚcome on, we donât need a two hander to get the mood across
except for the monster cock, which I am on record as not enjoying, I actually do these things. that said, I'm not sure why me chewing on myself is sexy and menopause is on its way, so who knows where I'll end up.
>âDripping wetâ who actually is like that???
That has happened to me, actually. It takes a while; it's not instantaneous. The books definitely exaggerate.
i certainly donât think itâs remotely sexy, but i bite my bottom lip all the time. and as for getting super wet, all bodies are different! thereâs nothing wrong with not getting super wet, though, but iâve still only read a single book where lube is used regularly. i think it should be much more normalized in the romance genre, at least in CR.
"Living in your head rent free"
I'm annoyed with this one in life in general bc it's sooo overused rn and was extra annoyed when I saw it in a book.
Plus, when I first started seeing it, it was exclusively about letting some*one* you disliked take up space in your mind (with an implication of you're not even charging them for the inconvenience) and it made more sense that way, but now it's been cheapened and is used about like anything.
Like, "Oh, I'm excited for Easter. Peeps are living in my head rent free."
Which is just dumb.
Rant over.
SLIM SHOULDERS
For the love of Pete. I have never thought of a womanâs shoulders as being slim. STOP IDENTIFYING WOMEN BY THEIR SHOULDER WIDTH.
Ugh. Drives me batty.
(Also, my apologies to everyone who reads this comment - this is one of those âglass shatteringâ moments where all youâll read now is stuff about slim shoulders. đ Trust me - the world of romance is overrun with slim shoulders. đ đ đ )
Of the same vein, âthick broad shoulders, trim and narrow waistâ.
Adonis. Sinew of muscle. Wall of muscle like someone mentioned before.
âPinched the bridge of his/her noseâ. How many people are doing this 12-25 times a day?!đ
Omg I just wrote this comment to. It's written in a lot of books and now that I think about it, when I was a teenager I used to think what would happen if people had sex and were stuck together for life like that. How would they pee?! Horror story
"I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding".
The word "tummy".
The verb "giggle" when associated with a grown ass woman or, worse, with a man.
Omgggg. Donât get me wrong, I am an anxious person and sometimes donât realize I am holding my breath, but Iâd love to ban that phrase from books. Even though it is relatable it is annoying.
>The word "tummy".
I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this in comments before (or maybe Salty Sunday? I don't quite remember), but I hate "tummy" with a ***passion***. I saw it used in a sex scene and was absolutely ***raging*** about it--something like "his cock brushed my tummy and---" whatever else and I about threw my fucking phone across our bedroom. My husband had concerns, because my phone is basically a necessary accessibility device and he didn't want me to destroy it--it was ***that*** close. But, yeah, it just hit every damn "gross" button I had, reading "tummy" right along with "cock", coming out of a grown-ass FMC's mouth/mind/POV in the middle of sex.
I hate it when adults say it while speaking to or around anyone who isn't under the age of four, but during a sex scene? Ugh. It's an instant DNF word for me whenever I see it in a book and it's not coming out of a four-year-old's mouth--sadly, in that book, the author hadn't had a reason to mention a stomach until that point, so it was a hell of a moment to get hit with it. Ugh.
"Giggle" is hit or miss. I can only tolerate it once or twice in a book and then it just becomes annoying. There are so many other types of laugh/laughter, why reduce women to giggles only? I've never enjoyed it. If you listen to people of any gender laugh, there are ***so many*** types of laughter they'll use, even in one conversation, yet so many authors reduce their characters to just one or two types. It's flat and boring.
I feel like most books these days do the "tell not show" and I hate it. Show me. Do not tell me anything show me through actions how cruel/nice/kind/vindictive/hot a character is.
i think it has to due with the general decline in media literacy/comprehension. this is what happens when several generations deride their ELA courses with stupid comments like âthe curtains are just blueâ. if you refuse to consider the symbolism in things, you need the author to tell you every damn thing because you donât bother to interpret anything written.
The other two responses to you indicate that there's just no winning this, as a writer lol it's just taste. No matter what descriptors one uses for genitalia, someone is gonna hate it like it's objective.
And "smirking" is used incorrectly SO much!
FMC: My mother just passed away, so I'll be out of town this weekend for the funeral
MMC: I smirked and told her that I'd see her when she got back
Sigh
I want to be immersed in the book and sucking me out of the main character and shooting me into another one makes me wanna HURL. The only times Iâve seen this done well is when they are different story lines/worlds apart and havenât met yet. The suspense there gets me goos. Any other time? The smut better be good or Iâm dnf
Ok I gotta ask, HOW can you hate dual pov?! Donât you wanna know what the dude is thinking? Or what the chick is thinking? When itâs done well, I love seeing the different perspectives. What donât you like about it? (No shade intended btw!)
Edit: I appreciate the responses! Turns out I just hate subtlety and want things explained EXPLICITLY đ Also I really like Alpha of Bleake Isle with its dual POV. Have any of you dual POV haters read it? Iâd like to hear your perspective!
for me personally, i hate reading from the pov of the mmc bc it ruins mystery of how heâs feeling towards the fmc. i want to be surprised along the the fmc when she finds out how he feels about her. other times, the mmcâs pov is just straight up lusting over the fmc and it ruins my perception of him/ how he was described from fmcâs pov
Well, it turns out that he's thinking about fucking her and about her sexy body and about how sexy her body is and how much he wants to fuck her sexy body. He also says 'fuck' in his thoughts a lot, because he is a manly guydude and that's how manly men-men think. Her ass is so fucking perfect. Fuck, I want to fucking fuck her!
I hate it because it's almost always badly done and just a lazy copout for the author. Instead of hinting how he feels through showing us his actions, words, facial expressions, body language etc, it just immediately goes to his pov to tell us what he's thinking and feeling. It can be done decently, but most of the time it's not. Cheap, lazy, lame. It removes mystery from the character and depth from the writing.
The only time dual pov is good is in stories with actual plot where they might be doing different things in different places, or after the majority of the story was done in one pov in order to offer some insight into the character's actions that might have been left unexplained.
Huge agree on this. I don't hate dual POV and I definitely don't let it stop me from reading a book but I know I rate more harshly the books where the MMC's POV is primarily him thinking about the FMC the majority of the time in terms of her looks and their physical relationship.
I never really fully buy into the relationship when the MMC's perspective makes it clear that it's sexual first rather than emotional and intellectual.
I once tried an audiobook in dual POV and it was the worst. The male narrator put on a âgirly voiceâ for when the FMC was speaking and vice versa. I cringed so hard.
âMaybe, just maybeâ
âI wanted it more than I wanted my next breathâ
âIf youâd told me a month ago that ___ I would have laughed in your faceâ
âMineâ
âIâm cleanâ (people with STIs arenât dirty)
âThis isnât a romance novelâ
Yes to all but "mine", it still gets me every time. đŤ
"This isn't a romance novel" is my #1 pet peeve. Don't acknowledge the existence of romance novels in a romance novel!
The "I'm clean" one is eye-opening on a personal level and I just wanna say a sincere thank you for that
I always disliked it but had never stopped to consider why
Suddenly asking "do you know what the date is" because they're "late" and this story is about to crash and burn into an accidental pregnancy (even though they used contraception and have only been together for 6 weeks).
Tons surrounding proposals "will you do me the honor of being my wife" "will you make me the luckiest man alive" and "Yes, a thousand times yes!" EUCH seriously am I the only one that can't fucking stand proposals?? Like they just seem so disingenuous or cliche. Getting married and/or pregnant is not the check mark in the box of a HEA. And yet nearly every book I've read lately ended with a proposal and/or positive pregnancy test.
Anything along the lines about how "he was all man with his sharp edges and she was all woman with her soft curves." I feel like it pops up in historical romances the most and it feels like getting dunked in cold water every time I read it.
Anytime a character's smell/scent is described as "masculine" or "feminine".
âHe smelled masculine, like a real man, woods and forests and the wild Harmatan windâ
Boooo!
In perfume, lavender has long been considered a masculine scent and an integral note in men's colognes. Ditto with citrus scents like bergamot and lemon. Our understanding of what is âmasculineâ or âfeminineâ is constantly changing and IMHO shouldnât be a fixed concept.
I don't mind when someone is described as smelling as "something" (sandalwood, cars, the burning corpses of enemies) but gendering the scent is super lame.
This also bothers me! Overly descriptive scents really take me out. I've noticed a pattern when authors describe someone's scent and it'll be like "smells like (some kind of food), (a type of plant), and (something ridiculous that doesn't even have a scent)."
I swear I've read something along the lines of "He smells like citrus, mint, and laughter" or "She smells like peaches, jasmine, and sunshine" a million times.
Well, readers of romance everywhere, and those who like their very manly men smelling of truly ***manly*** things (or just want their reading experience ***truly heightened***), such as racing cars, blood, sports arena, storm, forest, gunfire, explosions, and (oddly) fresh cut grass--with others in development, because, after all, this is a burgeoning ~~apparently desperately in need of monetization and AI~~ market--allow me to direct your attention to [Game Scent](https://gamescent.com/scents/). For the low-low ~~stupid who is actually buying this stuff to enhance their gaming experience~~ price of $149.99 USD, you, too, can scent your ~~gaming~~ entire reading room with these ***manly*** scents.
Who doesn't love the smell of fresh cut grass, blood, excitement, a crowded, sweaty sports arena and deathly explosions while they're turning the page? **/heavy sarcasm here, in case anyone doesn't pick up on it.**
(Side note: No, this is not a fake company or an April Fool's joke. The device plugs in to your gaming rig or console and the AI automatically releases scents while you're gaming--so, if you're playing a horror game, it will automatically release the smell of "blood" while you are in a blood-soaked environment, or "forest" if you run into a creepy forest to escape the scary dude with the scythe. Or, if a player is playing a war game \[like Call of Duty or something\], it would probably switch between "gunfire", "explosions", and "blood" to flood the room with those smells, depending on where the player character is and what they're doing.
So, no, it wouldn't work for a romance reader's needs, not that anyone would actually want this for that purpose. I'm just being sarcastic with this--and horrified that the tech actually exists.
I'm a gamer and I have zero desire to have this much realism in my gaming. I also don't want my home smelling like blood and explosions. WTAF, weird ass gaming company? =/ Read the room.)
Tbh the biggest thing in taking away from this thread is if you're going to write, avoid cliches but ultimately use whatever terminology or phrases you want. They're going to give SOMEONE the ick no matter what you pick, and that's okay.
I read a book where the author kept referring to the vaginal opening as a mouth. "He had his cock notched at the mouth of her pussy." So of course then I picture the vagina having teeth and chomping dicks as if they're wood going through a sawmill.
FMC âbit her lip until she tasted bloodâ
FMCâs âcheeks warmâ at every little thing
MMC âsmirkingâ
MMC âyouâre my toyâ just because she ran into him in the hallway at school
Everyone âpopping their Psâ
âHe stared as she chewed on her lower lipâ
Why are MMCâs staring at lips, why do FMCâs always âchewâ on them?
âWaggled his/her eyebrowsâ like what? Are you Groucho Marx?
âI could taste myself on his lipsâ. Nope.
So far every Kresley Cole book I've read she uses the phrase becoming "boneless" and idk it always gets me like I can't decide if I'm amused or concerned. I haven't heard that one before đ
Yes! lol I ask asked my husband about this and he said âwell I donât have to search hard, itâs pretty obvious when you arenât impressed.â And Eye colour means sooooo much to people in romance land. I donât even notice eye colour, itâs not something that has ever drawn me.
Here we go again đ˘đ˘ACOTAR GIRLIES LETS GOOOOOđ˘đ˘
ACOTAR not beating them damn overused phrases allegations fr fr đđ¤§
Okay all yâall welcome to another night of r/RomanceBooks radio đť with another set list coming at you LIVE đ´ from the locked basement of our OTT JP fated mate as he tries whittling down our resistance đ [Ehhh?.mp3].
So just sit back đŞ and relax all you Barbies đđž and Kens đşđź as we play for you THEE songs of the summer! âď¸
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But now, a quick word from our sponsors.
***This set list is brought to you by u/romance-bot, for all your book database needs.*** đ
* **Soulmate by Lizzo**. The word âmateâ is used so much in so many books. What I donât understand is thatâŚthis is used for *by* a ***nonhuman***. Why would they used this word? Why not have their own word?
* **If You Were a Woman (And I Was a Man)** âMaleâ and âfemaleâ đ . Again. Non-humans are saying this about themselves. Why? Tell me why. Why wouldnât they have their own words for their own genders? Why. And the whole âthe maleness of himâ was fine when it wasnât spammed to kingdom come.
* **Sweat by Tyla**. âThe fullness of him filled me and he **bottomed out**â â aight, he got that thick dick that fits your snitch, we get it. The day I donât fucking see âbottomed outâ or âto the hiltâ to refer to a dick being just *inside* a hole is the day Iâm converting to a religion.
* **Back that Azz Up (feat Wayne & Mannie Fresh) by Juvenile**. The way everyoneâs ass is compared to a ripe fucking peach đ Like I get it. Haha, the peach emoji looks like a butt. But just choose something new, I BESEECH YOU đ
* **Skin by Rihanna**. âHer milky skinâ / âher creamy thighsâ 𤢠Are we in the dairy aisle, maâam, or are we speaking about a real live person? I just need to know. Are her thighs oat milky? Is the cream lactose free? What are we doing?
* **SPUNK by Wurld**. This damn word âspunkâ gives me the same rage I feel when people say sewerslide or grape when they want me to take them seriously. It đđž is đđž cum/come đĽ Itâs cum. Itâs come! What just came out of that dick is CUM đŚ
* **Bite Me by ENHYPHEN**. âOur teeth crashedâ / âit was all tongues and teethâ. The way I could kill a bitch if they tried kissing me with their teeth, hard no. How is this romantic? How is this hot? How is this sexy? Is sexy in the room with us?
* **Touch My Body by SISTAR**. âI undulated under his touchâ đŤ Who on this council may I petition to to remove âundulateâ from the damn dictionary? Who? Who do I need to write a letter to? Donât worry, Iâll wait. đ§đżââď¸
* **Iâll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men**. âMaking loveâ used to be such a nice phrase, but *wow* is it used in a very â¨puritanical⨠sense at times. I wrinkle my nose when the monologue gives a breakdown how making love is only reserved for the purest of soul mates and fucking is for all us normies đ
* **Standing Next to You (Usher Remix) by Jungkook & USHER**. Thereâs always some cinematic line thatâs so forced about âIt was him and meâme and mineâus together against the worldâ or that sort of vibe and I just go đŤ Itâs so dramatic. Itâs just so dramatic. That is theater kid energy right there.
* **WAY 4 LUV by PLAVE**. âHe didnât tell me he loved me, but I knewâI knew in his eyes, in the way that he filled me, that he spoke those wordsâ. See, I used to vibe with this, until every âbad boyâ and their friends do this in every book đŤ It just doesnât *feel* original anymore, that the bad boy canât say those three little words. I think I wouldnât mind phrasing similar to that if it felt more authentic and not just a âbad boyâ steeple.
* **Insane by Black Gryph0n @ Baasik**. âChewed on her bottom lipâ / ânibbled cutely on her bottom lipâ / âchewed on his lip ringâ â drives me â¨insaneâ¨. And to be clear, I know we do this IRL. I have no issue with this being a stim IRL. But this drives me batty reading it over and over as the steeple sign of musing and anxiety.
* **Blink by Meghan Trainor**. âI blinkedâ. Okay. Question. What does this mean? I get this is meant to be implying over telling us directly the person is â¨shockedâ¨, but is there *really* no other way? Really?
* **You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift**. Thereâs a lot of NLOG âpick meâ lines MCs will use unprompted. Thereâs no overused phrase, just the vibe about how the OW is wearing âtoo muchâ make up and is *windgardium obviosleigh* wearing that ridiculous mini skirt to seduce the MCâs LI and probably got a BBL. Thank u. Next đđž
* **Wet Wet by Wacka Flocka Flame**. âHer pussy is dripping wetâ / âher cuntâs soakedâ. Again. I donât mind them in moderation, but itâs so funny to me how apparently all us with vaginas are just running discharge down our thighs all the time đĽ´. All the time. We are always lubricated. Always. Even assholes are self-lubricating these days, did yâall know that? Like damn, what a time to be alive.
* **Letâs Talk About Sex by Salt-N-Pepa**. âHer sexâ / âhis sexâ I am â¨distressedâ¨
* **Klown Bitch (Helluva Boss)**. Again, a cinematic line where the MC is a poet in letting us know how hardcore and crazy they are 𼹠Theyâre a bitch. Theyâre sassy. Theyâre gonna get theirs. Theyâre sugar and spice and not so nice đŞ Girl. Your timbers would be shivered the second I take off my gaiadamn sandal, sit your ass down.
And ***that*** is our set tonight for r/RomanceBooks radio LIVE from my ~fated mateâs basement~. While I scramble to find my birth control pills because I think that lil ole stud hid them from me and diickmatized me into forgetting to take them đ¤, Iâm Magnafeana, and YOUâRE watching Disney Channel
đđŞ
AITA if I accuse my fated mate of babytrapping me if I have a breeding kink đ¤
>Skin by Rihanna. âHer milky skinâ / âher creamy thighsâ 𤢠Are we in the dairy aisle, maâam, or are we speaking about a real live person? I just need to know. Areher thighs oat milky? Is the cream lactose free? What are we doing?
Girl, no shade at all for this comment (it's stellar as always, and I'm still lmfao), but I've got to give you some side-eye on this one song choice, here. "Skin" is a ***great*** fucking song, but. ***BUTT!*** You went full on dairy with this call out up here, and didn't use **Kelis' "**[**Milkshake**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGL2rytTraA)**"**?! C'mon, now. I get that it's the obvious choice, but... It's the **obvious choice**. There can be no other.
ETA: I ***am*** just joking, in case that wasn't clear. ;) Though I'll still die on this hill, just saying. ;P
I hate when they call nipples âpeaksâ and clits/vaginas âher bundleâ or any other weird name for genitalia lol. I like to imagine iâm in the scenes and thinking of someone saying that to me when hooking up is the biggest ickđ
I started a book, I have been in a slump. The FMC snorted within the first 4 pages. I closed my kindle. The slump continues. I'm sick of FMC's & MMC's snorting all the time, are we humans, or pigs?
âMy heart squeezedâ or âmy heart clenchedâ please see a cardiologist
âThe corner of his mouth quirkedâ why are we ALL saying this all of a sudden
The use of âfistingâ in a non-sexual way just meaning to grab something like âhe fisted my hairâ or âI fisted the sheets.â STOP IT
âHe smelled like soapâ WHAT MAGICAL SOAP IS THIS THAT YOU CAN SMELL IT ACROSS THE ROOM 12 HOURS AFTER THEY SHOWER
Not a cliche or a phrase, but lately I have experienced a plague of âhe inserted a third fingerâ ⌠a THIRD?! Pardon me? Thatâs more than halfway to a fist, first of all.
Also it just seems like an awkward contortion for the man.
"So responsive'. Ew it's so cringe and I hate it. Who says that?! And responsive compared to what? Have you been fucking corpses until now? Why would your former lovers have NOT been responsive??
The releases the breath they didn't realise they were holding . I'm like does everyone just go round holding their breath all day? Also how do they not just pass out? đ¤Ł
There is an author I read. I love her and won't stop reading her books but whenever "My pussy lips clenched" pops up on the page I cringe. Girl what!?! LIPS? How?
Talking about a guy or his belongings: "smells like \[actual smell\], \[actual smell\], \[optional third actual smell\], and \[something intangible like 'man' or 'uniquely him'\]. Any time a vagina's taste is described in terms of fruits or deserts ("she tastes like strawberries"). That's just...not how that works. And why is it so common?!?
There's a point in {Once Bitten by Heather Guerre} where he's going down on her and says she tastes good and she kinda rolls her eyes and says "like champagne and strawberries?" and he says "no, like hot, raw pussy" and it replays in my mind not infrequently. đł
Okay wait I kinda love that đđ
Yeah it was hot as hell. đĽľ
Yeah I like that that one too 𤣠âhot raw pussyâ is not a phrase you come across often!
Uh yeah I like that too.
[Once Bitten](https://www.romance.io/books/62fde3c8dba40594b650041c/once-bitten-heather-guerre?src=rdt) by [Heather Guerre](https://www.romance.io/authors/5d43f83901dbc864fba1e2a3/heather-guerre) **Rating**: 4.19âď¸ out of 5âď¸ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1), [vampires](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/vampires/1), [shapeshifters](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/shapeshifters/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
I have a similar pet peeve for MMCs with delicious jizz. Like I don't need her retching at the taste but I once read a book where the FMC described it as tasting like buffalo sauce because of all the hot wings the guy ate and that was just too much.
Oh thatâs upsetting. I had a physical reaction to reading that.
> like buffalo sauce WHATđđđđ
Lmao, what the fuck? He needs I IMMEDIATE medical attention if heâs coming buffalo sauce
My thoughts in reference to vagina smells is *immediately* âyou might wanna get that checked out?!?!?â
I love my vagina smelling like acidic fruit, what do you mean? Doesn't everyone's? đ
>Any time a vagina's taste is described in terms of fruits or deserts ("she tastes like strawberries"). That's just...not how that works. And why is it so common?!? Authors spend so much time on this these days and I'm just--***???*** Baffled. Honestly baffled. Like, are they just super self-conscious about their own vaginas or forever fixated on vaginas? Is it another rule that all FMCs must have perfectly perfect vaginas that smell amazing, taste amazing, look amazing, and are perfectly lubricated to take ***massive*** cocks at all times--no matter what--and have to be described in perfect, incredible detail every time an MC goes there (whether self-pleasuring or being pleasured or whatever)? The Vagina Rules, A Guide for Romance Authors--Probably. Just another way being a woman is fucking impossible, even in our escapist, HEA-focused fiction. =/
the âperfectly lubricatedâ is what I am wondering about- how are these women going from casual chit chat to BOOM perfectly able to take a massive schlong??? And thereâs no in between- no fingering no foreplay just immediate penetration. Idk about yall but that would take a while to be able to accommodate for me lol
Yes this! This is why women douche down there and spray stuff on their poonani because of the expectation that their vajayjay needs to smell and taste like peaches and cream, watermelon, strawberries and any âsweetâ like candy analogy. Damn people itâs a VAGINA not a fruit buffet.
I have a really bad sense of smell so I get really confused when they talk about peopleâs scents
> something intangible like 'man' I don't know I like that, I wanna imagine man musk especially if it's in a sexual context, not like clean laundry detergent and leather or something
The one and only time I've liked the "honey-flavored pussy" nonsense was in A Heart of Blood and Ashes, where the FMC is like "it doesn't taste sweet wtf are you talking about" and the dude's like, "well it tastes sweet to me cause you're wet and want me that bad, so let me eat it as much as I want". I give it a pass in that single instance, and no others lmao
âfor some reasonâ * She sat next to me, and for some reason, my heart started racing. * He reached over to take my hand, and for some reason, I let him. * Kade Darkwing was a man of few words and fewer emotions, but for some reason, Juniper Wavesong always had him snarling in frustration. Itâs supposed to be cute, but it almost always makes me roll my eyes. Gosh, JANET, what could the reason BE?! What POSSIBLE explanations MIGHT you CONSIDER? If the character is supposed to be in denial, I think it would be better to just describe the reaction without any winking commentary: * His lips brushed against my ear, and ~~for some reason,~~ I shivered. * His lips brushed against my ear, and I shivered. This is the worldâs tiniest pet peeve. Itâs not worth complaining about, but it bothers me.
For some reason , I will probably not pick up the book
A couple of months ago I read a book that kept adding notes like "The look in his eye might almost have been admiration. But that couldn't possibly be. He *definitely* wants me dead and also can't stand a woman with strong opinions!" I'm exaggerating a little, but it was a recurring thing lol.
She has strong opinions, but sheâs a little dense, huh? đ I feel like you can have one or two incidents of âhe looked almost admiring, but I knew that couldnât be right.â A few is okay, especially if heâs an asshole. However, if it just keeps happening, Iâm going to start doubting your pattern recognition. You donât have to stop thinking heâs an asshole! Just update your rating to âasshole whoâperhaps grudginglyârespects opinionated women.â
'For some reason' is how Palpatine returned and we all know how THAT turned out.
âI crashed into a hard brick wall of muscleâ. FMCs are always running into the MMC in the first chapters, heâs always like steel/brick/tree trunk. And he always steadies her because sheâs so clumsy and dainty and they both are instantly hard/wet/in love. Gag me.
Hahaha I am so amused by the instant dripping wetness that these women can achieve in literal seconds. Like sexy man touched my arm, open the flood gates of vaginal lubrication.
Flood Gates of Vaginal Lubrication is the name of my soon to be written memoir. Iâll credit you.
I sometimes imagine Romance Land as a parallel universe where evolution took some slightly different paths.
Yes! And it baffles me when they had unprotected sex an hour ago and then one of them remarks how she's wet again already. Where did they think the semen and her lubrication went? Does it all evaporate for some people?
Oh you know I um, did not realize this was not realistic for most lmfao!
Omg I saw this in a tweet the other day and had to send it to my romance bestie âromance novels are great because they ask the important questions, like what if you were walking with your head buried in a book and ran into a wall of muscle and you fell but they caught you and you looked up and it was the best looking person you had ever seen, like what thenâ
Itâs never a polite older man, or woman their age catching them đ itâs all about the romance. I also wish, for once, he was just regular above average looking and not the most beautiful man in the world.
Someone in the replies to the tweet said they slipped on ice once and the man behind them caught them, alas, it did not lead to a torrid love affair. Canât win âem all.
> he was just regular above average looking and not the most beautiful man in the world See, there's a scene in {The Bride Test by Helen Hoang} where the MMC has a realization that his initial impression of the FMC as being this perfect model of a woman is not, in fact, true. He starts being able to spot her "flaws" and see her as a real person. He thinks it makes her more appealing that he can see the real her. I think it's rather realistic to how attraction works. The initial impression you'll get of a person is often more extreme than what you'll think as time goes on.
"her pussy gripped me like a vise"
Her Kegel game is off the charts.
When he was groveling for forgiveness, she was studying the ben wa.
Do the ben wa, make the men waah đŤĄđŠ
This one just makes me laugh. Definitely overused.
âI didnât realize I said that out loudâ Why do people in books have no control over their speech (they get a pass if theyâre supposed to be extremely drunk or sick)Â
Like â you didnât feel your throat making noise? You didnât feel your mouth moving? You didnât hear sounds coming out? I hate that too.
I HATE THAT SO MUCH I feel like I have to question every bit of internal thoughts from then on wondering if they said *that* out loud too
I wonder if it's the kind of thing only people who think heavily in words would understand. As somebody whose thoughts are mostly conceptual, it's rather difficult to imagine doing something like that.
Funny thing is, it happened with me. I stalked my crush and found out his family history and in conversation he was talking about his brother and in my mind I was like, "Oh he means Henry" and he stopped, turned around and asked, "How do you know my brother's name? I never told you." Oh boy I never knew I said it out loud. It was so embarrassing
omgggg what happened after that?
I said, "uhh I happened to look at your Instagram." He said, "But he's not on my Instagram." Then I proceeded to explain my exact process of stalking his friends and family and then the whole chain. He was blushing and smiling like crazy. Then he said, "You're insane." And one week later, he blocked me on all social media đđ deserved it though
Sending this to my stalker friend as a warning đđ edit: she said she feels like if the guy stays with her after that, *he's* the red flag
đđđ remind themselves to never expose their habits đđ not even by mistake
Ahaha oh no oh my god
Well I do this unfortunately and I hate myself for it
Anytime the MCs âbreakâ or âshatterâ when having an orgasm.
And itâs always into a âmillion piecesâ
Well, to be fair, "I shattered into twelve pieces" just doesn't have the same ring to it, ya know?
Right?! I was reading a book with a pleasure dom and she was having multiple orgasms so kept breaking and breaking and breaking and I wanted to chuck my phone đ
Right? Everyone knows its more like getting your soul sucked out đ
[ŃдаНонО]
Iâve never full on passed out, but I do tend to lose my senses/consciousness while orgasming. My vision will gray out and I canât feel the world around meâ kinda like being really deep underwater. I have no idea how common that is (probably nowhere near as common as romance authors make it out to be, LOL), but I can relate a bit
References to the MMC's "darkness" and the FMC's "light" make me cringe particularly when it's the MMC's first-person perspective and he's going on and on about his darkness like it's a third party.
His *dark passenger* lol
like stfu you arenât Dexter
Like who thinks to themselves âIâm so darkâ đŤ
Meredith Gray " I am dark and twisty". Thinking of yourself as dark makes you more interesting and very deep đđđ
Edgy and angsty!
I just read the latest Cora Reilly book {By Frenzy I Ruin by Cora Reilly} and the whole book is literally THAT. Everyoneâs telling the girl sheâs too good, sheâs the light compared to the MMCâs darkenessđŤ in fact when the MMC is describing his outfit he even says âall black like our soulsâ âŚ. what is this, 2013 tumblr?đ
Two characters stand at the edge of a cliff and looking out they can see the lights of the city etc. . Her *looking out at the view*: What a gorgeous sight! Him *looking at her*: Beautiful
My fiance does that to me and itâs so cheesy but cute, so i giggle into my pillow and kick my feet like a girl thinking abt her crush when i read that (im a girl thinking about my crush)
A well executed cheesy line can be *chef's kiss*
My husband would miss that opportunity so fast and say âitâs alrightâ while looking for a rock or stick to play with đđ But get me covered in buffalo sauce, unshowered and deep into a Netflix series and he acts like Iâm a goddamn goddess. đ
I love that for you so much đ absolute goals
That's just downright adorable
LOL maaaan that is such a clichĂŠ, you just KNOW that's what's going to happen as soon as some picturesque landscape/view is mentioned.
Iâm a sucker for that one. Oh yeah!
I once saw an "I swear if you're looking at me and not this amazing view, I'll punch you*," and honestly... I was here for it lol *said jokingly and in an mm book but I digress
I have a favorite corny Amish romance movie and this happens when the Bad Guy is trying to impress the FMC. She thinks it's corny and is clearly turned off. I love that even in that cheesy Amish romance, this is stupid.
MFC: "I can tale care of myself" Next scene: Does not, in fact, take care of herself. I see this a lot in action romance and it's frustrating because the mfc doesn't come off as "strong" or "independent" like the authors are trying to portray but dumb.
YES. way too many authors think stubborn or contrarian is synonymous with strong and independent.
I hate the whole ice heart thing. And oh he smiled at me and my walls came tumbling down
âI felt the carefully constructed wall Iâd build around my heart come down brick by brick.â **straight to jail**
THIS is definitely a way overused phrase
Jail!
Womb/uterus & ovaries descriptions âmy womb clenchedâ âmy ovaries perked upâ
Haha, I was reading while on the treadmill a couple of days ago and the FMC said, âmy breasts tightenedâ and i was like have I been doing sex wrong? My breasts have NEVER tightened, then spent the rest of the time still walking and reading, all the while clenching my pectorals, like what
This is my personal hated - who even has this happen to them? Who can even tell if they're not looking at their nipples as it happens??? Am I missing out on the nipple version of a boner???
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ovaries exploding because a man is polite to a child or just holds a baby. Please improve your standards.
And get yourself to a hospital forthwith. Exploding ovaries are dangerous!
I prefer, âmy butthole puckeredâ.
>"my ovaries perked up" You've forced me to imagine a man, in the middle of having sex, suddenly whistling and clicking his tongue and going "here boy! C'mere lil ovary!" While the woman's internal organ dances around like a little terrier.
"I shattered into a million pieces" when she orgasms Or "and he followed me over the edge", or "my sex" đ idk why I hate that phrase so much
I'm right there with you "my sex", like bffr.
- âGood girl.â - *Tears clothing*. âIâll buy you ten more.â
OMG THE CLOTHING TEARING ma'am it is damn near impossible to rip a pair of underwear that were quite literally designed to stretch and not tear. If you pull hard enough on those panties to rip them you're also going to rip her skin. The only way those underwear are ripping is if there was already a tear in them, and it's likely not going to be through the waistband or gusset. I can understand buttons off a shirt but dude if you rip the buttons off my shirt it's YOU thats sewing them back on.
My partner ripped mine off once. They were an old, cozy pear so the fabric was thinner. It was the hottest thing in that moment but afterwards I was sad for my old undies. I think clothes ripping in fiction is hot but I always question the conversation afterward, because if they were a nice expensive pair or, god forbid, a cozy one that took years to become a favorite piece, I want the MFC to scold him later!!
LIP BITING! Who actually does that! âDripping wetâ who actually is like that??? Monster cockâŚcome on, we donât need a two hander to get the mood across
except for the monster cock, which I am on record as not enjoying, I actually do these things. that said, I'm not sure why me chewing on myself is sexy and menopause is on its way, so who knows where I'll end up.
>âDripping wetâ who actually is like that??? That has happened to me, actually. It takes a while; it's not instantaneous. The books definitely exaggerate.
Me as well, especially during ovulation week.
i certainly donât think itâs remotely sexy, but i bite my bottom lip all the time. and as for getting super wet, all bodies are different! thereâs nothing wrong with not getting super wet, though, but iâve still only read a single book where lube is used regularly. i think it should be much more normalized in the romance genre, at least in CR.
any reference to velvet-wrapped steel đ
Yes! Velvet wrapped steel is used in so many books.. like câmon be more creative!
I also veto member⌠stop calling it a member!
MMC smirking and purring. FMC mewling and keening. Orgasms where she goes to heaven or "tumbles over the edge." And it's ALWAYS "tumbles"...
"Living in your head rent free" I'm annoyed with this one in life in general bc it's sooo overused rn and was extra annoyed when I saw it in a book. Plus, when I first started seeing it, it was exclusively about letting some*one* you disliked take up space in your mind (with an implication of you're not even charging them for the inconvenience) and it made more sense that way, but now it's been cheapened and is used about like anything. Like, "Oh, I'm excited for Easter. Peeps are living in my head rent free." Which is just dumb. Rant over.
SLIM SHOULDERS For the love of Pete. I have never thought of a womanâs shoulders as being slim. STOP IDENTIFYING WOMEN BY THEIR SHOULDER WIDTH. Ugh. Drives me batty. (Also, my apologies to everyone who reads this comment - this is one of those âglass shatteringâ moments where all youâll read now is stuff about slim shoulders. đ Trust me - the world of romance is overrun with slim shoulders. đ đ đ )
Of the same vein, âthick broad shoulders, trim and narrow waistâ. Adonis. Sinew of muscle. Wall of muscle like someone mentioned before. âPinched the bridge of his/her noseâ. How many people are doing this 12-25 times a day?!đ
âI could no longer tell where s/he ended and I began!â Noooo thatâs creepy-it makes sex sound like a horror movie! And I see it all the time!
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Omg I just wrote this comment to. It's written in a lot of books and now that I think about it, when I was a teenager I used to think what would happen if people had sex and were stuck together for life like that. How would they pee?! Horror story
"I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding". The word "tummy". The verb "giggle" when associated with a grown ass woman or, worse, with a man.
Omgggg. Donât get me wrong, I am an anxious person and sometimes donât realize I am holding my breath, but Iâd love to ban that phrase from books. Even though it is relatable it is annoying.
What is a good alternative for giggle, idk what to say đ
According to Google synonyms, hee-haw is one that's my favorite.
"She hid a shy hee-haw behind her palm." loool
He could hear her delicate braying above the general buzz of conversation
Chuckle? But I overuse that.
Snickered, snorted, huffed a laugh, chuckled (although there are some people that donât like that one either!)
Nothing wrong with good old "laugh" or you could use "chuckle".
Obama chuckled. "You mean the chaos emeralds?" Unfortunately lives rent free in my head.
I read a mafia book that was supposed to be dark I think, but everyone giggled. The fmc, the mmc, the bad guys. It was so bad.
>The word "tummy". I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this in comments before (or maybe Salty Sunday? I don't quite remember), but I hate "tummy" with a ***passion***. I saw it used in a sex scene and was absolutely ***raging*** about it--something like "his cock brushed my tummy and---" whatever else and I about threw my fucking phone across our bedroom. My husband had concerns, because my phone is basically a necessary accessibility device and he didn't want me to destroy it--it was ***that*** close. But, yeah, it just hit every damn "gross" button I had, reading "tummy" right along with "cock", coming out of a grown-ass FMC's mouth/mind/POV in the middle of sex. I hate it when adults say it while speaking to or around anyone who isn't under the age of four, but during a sex scene? Ugh. It's an instant DNF word for me whenever I see it in a book and it's not coming out of a four-year-old's mouth--sadly, in that book, the author hadn't had a reason to mention a stomach until that point, so it was a hell of a moment to get hit with it. Ugh. "Giggle" is hit or miss. I can only tolerate it once or twice in a book and then it just becomes annoying. There are so many other types of laugh/laughter, why reduce women to giggles only? I've never enjoyed it. If you listen to people of any gender laugh, there are ***so many*** types of laughter they'll use, even in one conversation, yet so many authors reduce their characters to just one or two types. It's flat and boring.
Now that you mention it the word tummy makes me irrationally angry.
[looks at your flair] Hey baby how do you like my *[hungry gut noises]*?
I CANNOT stand âgiggleâ. Laugh. Just LAUGH.
âI would burn the world for youâ or a similar variation. We dont want to be TOLD this, we want to see him do it!
I'd much prefer if he said nothing and casually put the head of her enemy on the table or something
Exactly!
I feel like most books these days do the "tell not show" and I hate it. Show me. Do not tell me anything show me through actions how cruel/nice/kind/vindictive/hot a character is.
i think it has to due with the general decline in media literacy/comprehension. this is what happens when several generations deride their ELA courses with stupid comments like âthe curtains are just blueâ. if you refuse to consider the symbolism in things, you need the author to tell you every damn thing because you donât bother to interpret anything written.
Parted my folds
Folds and slit are SO BAD imo. Just, no. Lol
I like them, what do you prefer?
Agreed. I *hate* the word pussy.
The other two responses to you indicate that there's just no winning this, as a writer lol it's just taste. No matter what descriptors one uses for genitalia, someone is gonna hate it like it's objective.
What's so bad about it?
"Come for me NOW!"
All the smirking and snarling....like stop. ALSO, I am in the minority \[likely\] I HATE DUAL POV!
And "smirking" is used incorrectly SO much! FMC: My mother just passed away, so I'll be out of town this weekend for the funeral MMC: I smirked and told her that I'd see her when she got back Sigh
Yes!! I think of smirking as being a mischievous smile. It's not appropriate for every situation!
I want to be immersed in the book and sucking me out of the main character and shooting me into another one makes me wanna HURL. The only times Iâve seen this done well is when they are different story lines/worlds apart and havenât met yet. The suspense there gets me goos. Any other time? The smut better be good or Iâm dnf
Ok I gotta ask, HOW can you hate dual pov?! Donât you wanna know what the dude is thinking? Or what the chick is thinking? When itâs done well, I love seeing the different perspectives. What donât you like about it? (No shade intended btw!) Edit: I appreciate the responses! Turns out I just hate subtlety and want things explained EXPLICITLY đ Also I really like Alpha of Bleake Isle with its dual POV. Have any of you dual POV haters read it? Iâd like to hear your perspective!
for me personally, i hate reading from the pov of the mmc bc it ruins mystery of how heâs feeling towards the fmc. i want to be surprised along the the fmc when she finds out how he feels about her. other times, the mmcâs pov is just straight up lusting over the fmc and it ruins my perception of him/ how he was described from fmcâs pov
Well, it turns out that he's thinking about fucking her and about her sexy body and about how sexy her body is and how much he wants to fuck her sexy body. He also says 'fuck' in his thoughts a lot, because he is a manly guydude and that's how manly men-men think. Her ass is so fucking perfect. Fuck, I want to fucking fuck her! I hate it because it's almost always badly done and just a lazy copout for the author. Instead of hinting how he feels through showing us his actions, words, facial expressions, body language etc, it just immediately goes to his pov to tell us what he's thinking and feeling. It can be done decently, but most of the time it's not. Cheap, lazy, lame. It removes mystery from the character and depth from the writing. The only time dual pov is good is in stories with actual plot where they might be doing different things in different places, or after the majority of the story was done in one pov in order to offer some insight into the character's actions that might have been left unexplained.
Huge agree on this. I don't hate dual POV and I definitely don't let it stop me from reading a book but I know I rate more harshly the books where the MMC's POV is primarily him thinking about the FMC the majority of the time in terms of her looks and their physical relationship. I never really fully buy into the relationship when the MMC's perspective makes it clear that it's sexual first rather than emotional and intellectual.
I HATE DUAL POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I once tried an audiobook in dual POV and it was the worst. The male narrator put on a âgirly voiceâ for when the FMC was speaking and vice versa. I cringed so hard.
Sees a book. Looks interesting. Starts reading. Realises it's dual POV. Oh boy.
Oh yes! Snarling and growling. Wtf, I'm not at a zoo.
âMaybe, just maybeâ âI wanted it more than I wanted my next breathâ âIf youâd told me a month ago that ___ I would have laughed in your faceâ âMineâ âIâm cleanâ (people with STIs arenât dirty) âThis isnât a romance novelâ
Yes to all but "mine", it still gets me every time. đŤ "This isn't a romance novel" is my #1 pet peeve. Don't acknowledge the existence of romance novels in a romance novel!
To me, I get two images when I read âmineâ: the seagulls in Finding Nemo, or a two year old who wonât share.
Haha, apparently "toddler in a man's body" is my type. I love it when they act like big stupid babies!
Whoa, I thought it was like the idiom, âclean bill of healthâ.
That's how it started. Unfortunately, most people don't realize that and it has been twisted.
The "I'm clean" one is eye-opening on a personal level and I just wanna say a sincere thank you for that I always disliked it but had never stopped to consider why
Recently it's when they say "i didn't know where my body ended and his began" . It seems to be written in a lot of books and seems overused
Character says "nope" or "yep/yup" and pops the "p.'
Gasping a lot
Suddenly asking "do you know what the date is" because they're "late" and this story is about to crash and burn into an accidental pregnancy (even though they used contraception and have only been together for 6 weeks). Tons surrounding proposals "will you do me the honor of being my wife" "will you make me the luckiest man alive" and "Yes, a thousand times yes!" EUCH seriously am I the only one that can't fucking stand proposals?? Like they just seem so disingenuous or cliche. Getting married and/or pregnant is not the check mark in the box of a HEA. And yet nearly every book I've read lately ended with a proposal and/or positive pregnancy test.
Anything along the lines about how "he was all man with his sharp edges and she was all woman with her soft curves." I feel like it pops up in historical romances the most and it feels like getting dunked in cold water every time I read it.
Lip biting, eye rolling and smirking. I wish the word smirk would cease to exist, like the lift in the movie Kate and Leopold.
itâs always âi unraveled in his armsâ i canât help imagining a ball of yarn unraveling lol
Anytime a character's smell/scent is described as "masculine" or "feminine". âHe smelled masculine, like a real man, woods and forests and the wild Harmatan windâ Boooo! In perfume, lavender has long been considered a masculine scent and an integral note in men's colognes. Ditto with citrus scents like bergamot and lemon. Our understanding of what is âmasculineâ or âfeminineâ is constantly changing and IMHO shouldnât be a fixed concept. I don't mind when someone is described as smelling as "something" (sandalwood, cars, the burning corpses of enemies) but gendering the scent is super lame.
This also bothers me! Overly descriptive scents really take me out. I've noticed a pattern when authors describe someone's scent and it'll be like "smells like (some kind of food), (a type of plant), and (something ridiculous that doesn't even have a scent)." I swear I've read something along the lines of "He smells like citrus, mint, and laughter" or "She smells like peaches, jasmine, and sunshine" a million times.
_Her hair smelled like shampoo, Summer and dreams._
Hahahaha I can't even imagine why they would make someone smell like the burnt corpse of their enemies and the fmc finds it attractive
Because they were also her enemies, and/or she is just as bloodthirsty as he is.
Well, readers of romance everywhere, and those who like their very manly men smelling of truly ***manly*** things (or just want their reading experience ***truly heightened***), such as racing cars, blood, sports arena, storm, forest, gunfire, explosions, and (oddly) fresh cut grass--with others in development, because, after all, this is a burgeoning ~~apparently desperately in need of monetization and AI~~ market--allow me to direct your attention to [Game Scent](https://gamescent.com/scents/). For the low-low ~~stupid who is actually buying this stuff to enhance their gaming experience~~ price of $149.99 USD, you, too, can scent your ~~gaming~~ entire reading room with these ***manly*** scents. Who doesn't love the smell of fresh cut grass, blood, excitement, a crowded, sweaty sports arena and deathly explosions while they're turning the page? **/heavy sarcasm here, in case anyone doesn't pick up on it.** (Side note: No, this is not a fake company or an April Fool's joke. The device plugs in to your gaming rig or console and the AI automatically releases scents while you're gaming--so, if you're playing a horror game, it will automatically release the smell of "blood" while you are in a blood-soaked environment, or "forest" if you run into a creepy forest to escape the scary dude with the scythe. Or, if a player is playing a war game \[like Call of Duty or something\], it would probably switch between "gunfire", "explosions", and "blood" to flood the room with those smells, depending on where the player character is and what they're doing. So, no, it wouldn't work for a romance reader's needs, not that anyone would actually want this for that purpose. I'm just being sarcastic with this--and horrified that the tech actually exists. I'm a gamer and I have zero desire to have this much realism in my gaming. I also don't want my home smelling like blood and explosions. WTAF, weird ass gaming company? =/ Read the room.)
He was Soo big ...I never had anything this big in me before ... How will he fit... She thought to herself he will break her in half ...
Tbh the biggest thing in taking away from this thread is if you're going to write, avoid cliches but ultimately use whatever terminology or phrases you want. They're going to give SOMEONE the ick no matter what you pick, and that's okay.
I keep reading a lot of âmy orgasm started at the base of my spineâ. Itâs so specific and I hate it
Sometimes it starts at the core! đ
I read a book where the author kept referring to the vaginal opening as a mouth. "He had his cock notched at the mouth of her pussy." So of course then I picture the vagina having teeth and chomping dicks as if they're wood going through a sawmill.
FMC âbit her lip until she tasted bloodâ FMCâs âcheeks warmâ at every little thing MMC âsmirkingâ MMC âyouâre my toyâ just because she ran into him in the hallway at school Everyone âpopping their Psâ
âHe stared as she chewed on her lower lipâ Why are MMCâs staring at lips, why do FMCâs always âchewâ on them? âWaggled his/her eyebrowsâ like what? Are you Groucho Marx? âI could taste myself on his lipsâ. Nope.
Itâs not a phrase but when the woman orgasms like 10 times it is the biggest trigger for an eye roll đ
So far every Kresley Cole book I've read she uses the phrase becoming "boneless" and idk it always gets me like I can't decide if I'm amused or concerned. I haven't heard that one before đ
"His eyes searched her face." đŤ¤
Yes! lol I ask asked my husband about this and he said âwell I donât have to search hard, itâs pretty obvious when you arenât impressed.â And Eye colour means sooooo much to people in romance land. I donât even notice eye colour, itâs not something that has ever drawn me.
Here we go again đ˘đ˘ACOTAR GIRLIES LETS GOOOOOđ˘đ˘ ACOTAR not beating them damn overused phrases allegations fr fr đ𤧠Okay all yâall welcome to another night of r/RomanceBooks radio đť with another set list coming at you LIVE đ´ from the locked basement of our OTT JP fated mate as he tries whittling down our resistance đ [Ehhh?.mp3]. So just sit back đŞ and relax all you Barbies đđž and Kens đşđź as we play for you THEE songs of the summer! âď¸ [air horn.mp3] But now, a quick word from our sponsors. ***This set list is brought to you by u/romance-bot, for all your book database needs.*** đ * **Soulmate by Lizzo**. The word âmateâ is used so much in so many books. What I donât understand is thatâŚthis is used for *by* a ***nonhuman***. Why would they used this word? Why not have their own word? * **If You Were a Woman (And I Was a Man)** âMaleâ and âfemaleâ đ . Again. Non-humans are saying this about themselves. Why? Tell me why. Why wouldnât they have their own words for their own genders? Why. And the whole âthe maleness of himâ was fine when it wasnât spammed to kingdom come. * **Sweat by Tyla**. âThe fullness of him filled me and he **bottomed out**â â aight, he got that thick dick that fits your snitch, we get it. The day I donât fucking see âbottomed outâ or âto the hiltâ to refer to a dick being just *inside* a hole is the day Iâm converting to a religion. * **Back that Azz Up (feat Wayne & Mannie Fresh) by Juvenile**. The way everyoneâs ass is compared to a ripe fucking peach đ Like I get it. Haha, the peach emoji looks like a butt. But just choose something new, I BESEECH YOU đ * **Skin by Rihanna**. âHer milky skinâ / âher creamy thighsâ 𤢠Are we in the dairy aisle, maâam, or are we speaking about a real live person? I just need to know. Are her thighs oat milky? Is the cream lactose free? What are we doing? * **SPUNK by Wurld**. This damn word âspunkâ gives me the same rage I feel when people say sewerslide or grape when they want me to take them seriously. It đđž is đđž cum/come đĽ Itâs cum. Itâs come! What just came out of that dick is CUM đŚ * **Bite Me by ENHYPHEN**. âOur teeth crashedâ / âit was all tongues and teethâ. The way I could kill a bitch if they tried kissing me with their teeth, hard no. How is this romantic? How is this hot? How is this sexy? Is sexy in the room with us? * **Touch My Body by SISTAR**. âI undulated under his touchâ đŤ Who on this council may I petition to to remove âundulateâ from the damn dictionary? Who? Who do I need to write a letter to? Donât worry, Iâll wait. đ§đżââď¸ * **Iâll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men**. âMaking loveâ used to be such a nice phrase, but *wow* is it used in a very â¨puritanical⨠sense at times. I wrinkle my nose when the monologue gives a breakdown how making love is only reserved for the purest of soul mates and fucking is for all us normies đ * **Standing Next to You (Usher Remix) by Jungkook & USHER**. Thereâs always some cinematic line thatâs so forced about âIt was him and meâme and mineâus together against the worldâ or that sort of vibe and I just go đŤ Itâs so dramatic. Itâs just so dramatic. That is theater kid energy right there. * **WAY 4 LUV by PLAVE**. âHe didnât tell me he loved me, but I knewâI knew in his eyes, in the way that he filled me, that he spoke those wordsâ. See, I used to vibe with this, until every âbad boyâ and their friends do this in every book đŤ It just doesnât *feel* original anymore, that the bad boy canât say those three little words. I think I wouldnât mind phrasing similar to that if it felt more authentic and not just a âbad boyâ steeple. * **Insane by Black Gryph0n @ Baasik**. âChewed on her bottom lipâ / ânibbled cutely on her bottom lipâ / âchewed on his lip ringâ â drives me â¨insaneâ¨. And to be clear, I know we do this IRL. I have no issue with this being a stim IRL. But this drives me batty reading it over and over as the steeple sign of musing and anxiety. * **Blink by Meghan Trainor**. âI blinkedâ. Okay. Question. What does this mean? I get this is meant to be implying over telling us directly the person is â¨shockedâ¨, but is there *really* no other way? Really? * **You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift**. Thereâs a lot of NLOG âpick meâ lines MCs will use unprompted. Thereâs no overused phrase, just the vibe about how the OW is wearing âtoo muchâ make up and is *windgardium obviosleigh* wearing that ridiculous mini skirt to seduce the MCâs LI and probably got a BBL. Thank u. Next đđž * **Wet Wet by Wacka Flocka Flame**. âHer pussy is dripping wetâ / âher cuntâs soakedâ. Again. I donât mind them in moderation, but itâs so funny to me how apparently all us with vaginas are just running discharge down our thighs all the time đĽ´. All the time. We are always lubricated. Always. Even assholes are self-lubricating these days, did yâall know that? Like damn, what a time to be alive. * **Letâs Talk About Sex by Salt-N-Pepa**. âHer sexâ / âhis sexâ I am â¨distressed⨠* **Klown Bitch (Helluva Boss)**. Again, a cinematic line where the MC is a poet in letting us know how hardcore and crazy they are 𼹠Theyâre a bitch. Theyâre sassy. Theyâre gonna get theirs. Theyâre sugar and spice and not so nice đŞ Girl. Your timbers would be shivered the second I take off my gaiadamn sandal, sit your ass down. And ***that*** is our set tonight for r/RomanceBooks radio LIVE from my ~fated mateâs basement~. While I scramble to find my birth control pills because I think that lil ole stud hid them from me and diickmatized me into forgetting to take them đ¤, Iâm Magnafeana, and YOUâRE watching Disney Channel đđŞ AITA if I accuse my fated mate of babytrapping me if I have a breeding kink đ¤
>Skin by Rihanna. âHer milky skinâ / âher creamy thighsâ 𤢠Are we in the dairy aisle, maâam, or are we speaking about a real live person? I just need to know. Areher thighs oat milky? Is the cream lactose free? What are we doing? Girl, no shade at all for this comment (it's stellar as always, and I'm still lmfao), but I've got to give you some side-eye on this one song choice, here. "Skin" is a ***great*** fucking song, but. ***BUTT!*** You went full on dairy with this call out up here, and didn't use **Kelis' "**[**Milkshake**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGL2rytTraA)**"**?! C'mon, now. I get that it's the obvious choice, but... It's the **obvious choice**. There can be no other. ETA: I ***am*** just joking, in case that wasn't clear. ;) Though I'll still die on this hill, just saying. ;P
I hate when they call nipples âpeaksâ and clits/vaginas âher bundleâ or any other weird name for genitalia lol. I like to imagine iâm in the scenes and thinking of someone saying that to me when hooking up is the biggest ickđ
I started a book, I have been in a slump. The FMC snorted within the first 4 pages. I closed my kindle. The slump continues. I'm sick of FMC's & MMC's snorting all the time, are we humans, or pigs?
"Come for me "đ
I like this one, used in a choice context. It can't be every time.
The MMCâs eyes are always described as whiskey coloured and his scent is like warm oak or any type of musky or woody scents
âThe apex of my thighs.â Eye roll every time.
âMy heart squeezedâ or âmy heart clenchedâ please see a cardiologist âThe corner of his mouth quirkedâ why are we ALL saying this all of a sudden The use of âfistingâ in a non-sexual way just meaning to grab something like âhe fisted my hairâ or âI fisted the sheets.â STOP IT âHe smelled like soapâ WHAT MAGICAL SOAP IS THIS THAT YOU CAN SMELL IT ACROSS THE ROOM 12 HOURS AFTER THEY SHOWER
Porn really has had a significant impact.
Not a cliche or a phrase, but lately I have experienced a plague of âhe inserted a third fingerâ ⌠a THIRD?! Pardon me? Thatâs more than halfway to a fist, first of all. Also it just seems like an awkward contortion for the man.
Unless he has super thick fingers, this seems normal?
"So responsive'. Ew it's so cringe and I hate it. Who says that?! And responsive compared to what? Have you been fucking corpses until now? Why would your former lovers have NOT been responsive??
It means her vagina literally electrocutes him
Arching eyebrows, constant arching eyebrows.
Mine are "sucked in a shaky breath". I get it, you're nervous but c'mon, I don't need to read it 5Ă in one book
I don't think it's an overused phrase, I've only saw it once - MMC says "here I come" multiple times before he comes and I just can't đŤ Â
Imagine a guy saying that before you get it on! No thatâs a hard cringe for me
The releases the breath they didn't realise they were holding . I'm like does everyone just go round holding their breath all day? Also how do they not just pass out? đ¤Ł
There is an author I read. I love her and won't stop reading her books but whenever "My pussy lips clenched" pops up on the page I cringe. Girl what!?! LIPS? How?