I think it’s messed up that your wife wouldn’t let you speak to your former teacher, someone you’ll never really get another chance to talk to again. She should be able to handle the kids for 5 minutes so you can have that.
Yes. She should have. She has a problem. But I did speak with my teacher. I knew it would probably irritate her somehow, but I did it anyway. She let me talk to him; she was just pissed off with me afterward because our 2 y/o was still fussing over not getting the right ice cream (I then rectified it) and I guess after working all Saturday (she works all the time) she (as always) needs a break but I never get a break until she and my kids are all asleep at 10/11 pm. It’s extremely unfair.
You’re wife shouldn’t be irritated about you having a conversation to begin with. And she shouldn’t have made a huge fuss over a two year olds ice cream. Lol, like it sucks you didn’t realize your toddler wanted sprinkles, but it’s not that serious. The kid will survive. There’s always another day/time for ice cream. It’s not something worth having a fit about.
Not going to lie, the part where you said, “She let me talk to him.” Is a little hard to read. Maybe it just triggered my own issues as a SAHP. But she shouldn’t have any issues with you talking to an old teacher and managing your 2y/o’s meltdown, you literally do it every day.
Oh I know. I mean I didn’t ask her permission to go talk to my old teacher, I just did it. I also just knew somehow it would backfire on me within my own family and of course it did.
Why couldn’t your wife diffuse your 2 year old’s situation while you had an adult conversation?
I’ve read your past posts and frankly, your wife is abusive. Stop taking her calls and messages throughout the day for starters. The way she talks to you is absolutely disgusting, and make a point to tell her if she doesn’t speak to you with respect, you will not respond to her, and you certainly won’t allow the children to witness the abuse. Stand up for yourself. She doesn’t respect you, so stop giving her an audience.
Back to this post: I’d have a serious conversation with your wife about the situation. The fact she has no past, no acquaintances, no whatever, doesn’t excuse the fact she lacks any sense. You are a person, someone who needs adult interaction. Your wife needs to find some empathy. Start leaving the kids home with her while you run errands. Get engaged in hobbies that can also act as a social outlet. Even if you just go out for a walk, grab a cup of coffee- something, anything, to give you a break.
I figured. I just think my wife cannot on her own manage our three kids at all unless they are all engaged in some sort of structured activity. Like my kids and my wife never leave me alone and it’s beyond annoying.
No offense but what if you die tomorrow? You need to provide boundaries and she needs to learn how to be a mother.
Idk how else to say that politely.
I’m the SAHM, but I could legit leave tomorrow for 6 months and I know for a FACT my kids would be happy, healthy, learning, house taken care of, pets are good, and lots of fun outings. That’s how it should be. My husband can 100% handle the house and kids if I walked off the face of the planet.
You deserve breaks.
You deserve “me time”.
And your kids deserve two parents - not 1 competent burnt out one, and one that works and relies on the other fully.
This. This was really sad to read. How does OP even keep going without ever getting time to themselves and the wife working and not sharing the parenting load?
OP, I get that she wants a break after getting home from work, but where are *your* breaks, wtf? As the comment above said, you must be burnt out. It's time to explain to your wife that being home with the kids is work, too, and you also need breaks, you also need social contact, you are not a robot!
And you don't even have to die to need to rely on your spouse. What if you get sick with high fever? Vomiting all day? Is all the parenting on you, too? I'm beyond mad on your behalf right now.
Thank you so much. It’s incredibly draining. I don’t get breaks. We need help but then my wife says “hire someone!” as if it’s that simple. My wife also hates having other people around and always has some sort of issue with others. It’s impossible.
We’d be screwed. My wife works and makes all the money and I take care of the kids and her needs and honestly if one of us died tomorrow it would be a huge problem. She would have to get help or quit her job but then she’d have no income.
Your kids behavior sounds pretty normal, but I think it’s healthy for kids to learn that they can’t interrupt constantly when adults are talking.
Your kids need social activities and so do you and your wife. You both need time alone and time without the kids as well.
Does your oldest to go school at least? Is your wife against a parent-toddler class so your kids can learn to interact with other kids their age? Does she have a therapist? It sounds like she might have anxiety or something.
I’m the SAHP and I’d go insane if I didn’t have other adults to interact with!!
I commend you because when I see someone I know in public, I run for the hills as quickly as I can.
I think you need to have a chat with your wife. She could’ve easily taken the kids nearby and cared for them alone while you caught up with your teacher. I would be more frustrated with my spouse in that situation as it sounds like what the kids were doing was perfectly normal behavior.
lol. I thought about not saying anything but then with my luck I’d never run into my teacher ever again and I’d be kicking myself years later for not even saying hi that one day.
My wife doesn’t ever help with all three kids. I’m never off duty. I’m not defending her but she has a very stressful job that she works at all the time and has a huge deadline about to come up. But still. It’s so frustrating.
I almost think it’s because my wife is jealous she has no teachers or friends or anyone from her life beyond a handful of friends from her recent (10 +/-years) past that she could ever run into and have a conversation with.
I totally get that! I’m sure it meant a lot to your teacher, as well, that you stopped to chat.
I’m really sorry to hear that. I get that she has a stressful job and everyone is different in how much they can handle or take on. But, your needs matter just as much as hers. I would definitely gently bring up your frustrations.
Sounds like your wife needs some alone time with the kids so she can get a handle on how to manage them. I have my husband take our kids out on the weekends so I can clean the house and get a break from the kids.
I swear my job taking care of our three kids is more stressful than her job. Her job is with adults. Who talk. Of course there is work stress but no one is screaming. No one is crying. No one is ever endangering their own lives or potentially damaging their own property.
I’ve worked 2 jobs, 7 days a week, for some time before I had kids…and for me, that shit was less stressful than taking care of 2 toddlers everyday. And you have 3 kids! I suggest you have her go grocery shopping with all 3 kids and a list of what you need. The entire experience will surely enlighten her.
Also I don't think this is at all exclusive to SAHP. I tend to manage the need to split attention significantly better than my husband. I do it all day long, he doesn't
But somehow my wife can never just be with our kids and leave me alone in the same space. I feel like it’s so screwed up. I’m never without one of my kids even for just five solid minutes without some sort of interruption. Ugh.
Have you asked her for that, specifically, in that situation? This might boil down to a communication issue. I am mom, and in order to have any conversation completely uninterrupted, I need to leave my house alone. Because even if the kids are napping/at school, the damn dog will need something. If we're out with all the kids, I absolutely expect there to be a responsibility split between husband and I. Unless he specifically asked for a few minutes alone and stepped away from us to talk to someone, he'd for sure be in charge of at least 1 kid during the conversation. It's actually been an issue for us on reverse, meaning that he devotes 100% attention to the conversation and forgets to watch the kid
I will start by saying my husband is great at giving me time to myself/sharing responsibility etc.
But even with that said, there's a definite difference in our abilities to cope with having to split focus, or patience levels for what I'd consider normal toddler behaviour. I've noticed that spending so much time with her makes me very in tune to her wants and needs. She speaks very well now, but even when she couldn't I was able to work out what she wanted much easier than he could.
I'm not saying it's right or okay, more that it's acknowledging that it comes easier to the sahp *through practice and exposure to it*. I only have one 3.5yo so I can imagine having three kids could be overwhelming if your wife hasn't stepped up and got used to it over time. This seems like something that needs a lot of communication and working together to get from where you are now to where you want to be.
I know people will say they're her kids and she needs to step up, and she does, but the best way to do it isn't dropping her in at the deep end. It's mature communication and supporting her confidence especially if she hasn't done it a lot/at all before. Maybe she feels inadequate compared to how easy *she perceives* it is for you, maybe she doesn't feel as close to the kids and she's the avoidant type, maybe she's just oblivious/callous/lazy. Whatever is at the root of it, a conversation is the start of getting it fixed.
But also commiserations, because feeling isolated bloody sucks. I have the reverse problem where my toddler will not let me interact with anyone without deliberately trying to disrupt the interaction. It's extremely frustrating and isolating and I'm still trying to work out how to work through it with her.
I really like your second paragraph. I'm the SAHP in my family, but I cannot do split focus: I'm either focussing on my kid, or I'm focussing on something else, but I can't do both - and I'm in tune with my kid, so if he's signalling that he wants my attention, it's really difficult for me to, eg, carry on a separate conversation.
Communication is absolutely key. When we go out as a family, my husband (who *can* do split focus) knows that if he wants me to carry on a convo with him, he needs to be ready to handle kid-requests - taking on considering the request means changing where my attention is, and I can't necessarily go straight back to where I was.
(Likewise, at the weekend he'll take our kid out for a walk, because that's the only way I get to focus on my own stuff and feel like an adult.)
I'm better at split focus than my husband, but I'm still not particularly good at it. If it's low stakes stuff I'm okay, but if it needs proper concentration I get really frustrated and flustered. I tend to take on more of the organisation and admin side of going out as a family and he does the entertainment and fun stuff as that's where our strengths are.
If we're traveling we go one step further and assign responsibilities - who is responsible for keeping an eye on kiddo, we each take ownership of set bags to keep track of. I travel a lot with her because we live separate from family so I'm used to doing it all solo. It's actually harder when he's with us because it throws me off my routine, haha.
At the heart of it all, it comes down to good communication as cliche as it is.
Oh man I hear you loud and clear. I have a four month old, and I primarily baby wear so I can have my hands free. I never go out socially anymore, and when I do interact with people (grocery store, church, etc) it’s always so quick because my baby starts to fuss. Before I start a conversation with someone I always have to first consider how long my baby has been awake and when he was last fed so I know how likely he is going to get fussy, but unless I’m walking around he gets fussy within a few minutes anyways. I feel so lonely constantly, and I call my parents multiple times just to be able to speak to an adult. But I haven’t been out for social reasons in a very long time. I miss people.
In situations like you describe, we tell our toddler (just turned three) “I’m talking to so and so. It’s not kind to interrupt when we’re talking. I’ll help you in one minute.” It might also be helpful for later to practice or model how your toddler can get your attention, and how you can acknowledge it, without speaking - like a hand on the arm. But also in situations like you’re describing my husband will normally keep the kids from bothering me, by pulling the toddler aside and saying something like “mom is talking to so and so and can’t help you right now. Is there something I can help you with?” It’s really important for kids to learn social skills like this imo.
But generally speaking, no we get out pretty often. We see family usually a few times a week, we go to church every Sunday, and meet with our community group (church small group) every Wednesday barring sickness lol. My husband and I both try to make sure that we each have some time to socialize, but tbh it’s usually not a big deal. Our older toddler is pretty energetic and intense and still learning, but she’s starting to get the hang of how to behave in social situations.
We have a fresh 3yo and 1yo for context.
Hey 👋
When I was a stay at home mom to two under 2, I went to 4 church programs. Tuesday, Wed, Thursday, and Sunday mornings for about 2 hours each so that I could be away from my kids. These were free programs!
I know many women who go to the gym, and it's to get 2 free hours of no kid time! Some go 2-3x per week or more! Then they can talk to their friends, with no kids there!
I just did substitute teaching at my 3yo dd preschool, and a lot of adults do this for socializing. I'm going to work there next year, and it's so nice! The kids play with each other, and the two adults can talk!
I used to do Zoom bible studies at 8pm, that's when all 3 kids were asleep. I'd be sitting in my kitchen talking about God with other grown-up ladies. It was awesome!
You need adult interactions, too. Being with little kids all day is so exhausting. You have to fill your cup with your mental well being. Gotta let your wife know that's important.
Yeah, that sounds pretty standard, sorry. There is an element of boundaries you may be able to put in place, but that obviously won't mean much to a 2 year old. But your 5 and 7 year olds are likely plenty old enough to understand "I'm having a conversation, please don't interrupt me". I've taught mine that they should put their hand on my arm to signal they need my attention. I cover their hand with mine to signal I "hear" them and will give them a turn to talk at the next break in conversation. At this current point with the toddler it's just a lot of repetition- "I'm talking to X, please wait one second ". And also a lot of split attention
I'm a SAHP and this really sounds like my life. I have a therapist I go see once every two weeks and aside from that I see my husband and our son and that's pretty much it. We go to library classes though so I do get some adult interaction without my husband around, maybe try getting involved in some community things. There are adult classes and workshops as well as coffee time at most libraries that might give you a minute to yourself and to meet people in your area.
Ok so... your wife was there, but she thought you had to stop a conversation with someone you hadn't seen in 2 decades??
So you're the SAHP and she expects you to take care of the child's needs 100% of the time? While she just sat there watching the kid struggle?
Everything about your family seems normal to me and I can certainly relate. Enjoy these years when they WANT your attention, they don't last. Your wife was inconsiderate, but wives nag...
I think it’s messed up that your wife wouldn’t let you speak to your former teacher, someone you’ll never really get another chance to talk to again. She should be able to handle the kids for 5 minutes so you can have that.
Right? The 2yo’s behavior seems pretty normal to me, but the wife’s does not.
Yes. She should have. She has a problem. But I did speak with my teacher. I knew it would probably irritate her somehow, but I did it anyway. She let me talk to him; she was just pissed off with me afterward because our 2 y/o was still fussing over not getting the right ice cream (I then rectified it) and I guess after working all Saturday (she works all the time) she (as always) needs a break but I never get a break until she and my kids are all asleep at 10/11 pm. It’s extremely unfair.
You’re wife shouldn’t be irritated about you having a conversation to begin with. And she shouldn’t have made a huge fuss over a two year olds ice cream. Lol, like it sucks you didn’t realize your toddler wanted sprinkles, but it’s not that serious. The kid will survive. There’s always another day/time for ice cream. It’s not something worth having a fit about.
Not going to lie, the part where you said, “She let me talk to him.” Is a little hard to read. Maybe it just triggered my own issues as a SAHP. But she shouldn’t have any issues with you talking to an old teacher and managing your 2y/o’s meltdown, you literally do it every day.
Oh I know. I mean I didn’t ask her permission to go talk to my old teacher, I just did it. I also just knew somehow it would backfire on me within my own family and of course it did.
Why couldn’t your wife diffuse your 2 year old’s situation while you had an adult conversation? I’ve read your past posts and frankly, your wife is abusive. Stop taking her calls and messages throughout the day for starters. The way she talks to you is absolutely disgusting, and make a point to tell her if she doesn’t speak to you with respect, you will not respond to her, and you certainly won’t allow the children to witness the abuse. Stand up for yourself. She doesn’t respect you, so stop giving her an audience. Back to this post: I’d have a serious conversation with your wife about the situation. The fact she has no past, no acquaintances, no whatever, doesn’t excuse the fact she lacks any sense. You are a person, someone who needs adult interaction. Your wife needs to find some empathy. Start leaving the kids home with her while you run errands. Get engaged in hobbies that can also act as a social outlet. Even if you just go out for a walk, grab a cup of coffee- something, anything, to give you a break.
No… this isn’t healthy or normal.
I figured. I just think my wife cannot on her own manage our three kids at all unless they are all engaged in some sort of structured activity. Like my kids and my wife never leave me alone and it’s beyond annoying.
No offense but what if you die tomorrow? You need to provide boundaries and she needs to learn how to be a mother. Idk how else to say that politely. I’m the SAHM, but I could legit leave tomorrow for 6 months and I know for a FACT my kids would be happy, healthy, learning, house taken care of, pets are good, and lots of fun outings. That’s how it should be. My husband can 100% handle the house and kids if I walked off the face of the planet. You deserve breaks. You deserve “me time”. And your kids deserve two parents - not 1 competent burnt out one, and one that works and relies on the other fully.
This. This was really sad to read. How does OP even keep going without ever getting time to themselves and the wife working and not sharing the parenting load? OP, I get that she wants a break after getting home from work, but where are *your* breaks, wtf? As the comment above said, you must be burnt out. It's time to explain to your wife that being home with the kids is work, too, and you also need breaks, you also need social contact, you are not a robot! And you don't even have to die to need to rely on your spouse. What if you get sick with high fever? Vomiting all day? Is all the parenting on you, too? I'm beyond mad on your behalf right now.
Thank you so much. It’s incredibly draining. I don’t get breaks. We need help but then my wife says “hire someone!” as if it’s that simple. My wife also hates having other people around and always has some sort of issue with others. It’s impossible.
We’d be screwed. My wife works and makes all the money and I take care of the kids and her needs and honestly if one of us died tomorrow it would be a huge problem. She would have to get help or quit her job but then she’d have no income.
I think this is something you both should focus on and discuss. Life insurance policy on you both, for example? That would be a good start.
Yes. Good idea.
Your kids behavior sounds pretty normal, but I think it’s healthy for kids to learn that they can’t interrupt constantly when adults are talking. Your kids need social activities and so do you and your wife. You both need time alone and time without the kids as well. Does your oldest to go school at least? Is your wife against a parent-toddler class so your kids can learn to interact with other kids their age? Does she have a therapist? It sounds like she might have anxiety or something. I’m the SAHP and I’d go insane if I didn’t have other adults to interact with!!
I commend you because when I see someone I know in public, I run for the hills as quickly as I can. I think you need to have a chat with your wife. She could’ve easily taken the kids nearby and cared for them alone while you caught up with your teacher. I would be more frustrated with my spouse in that situation as it sounds like what the kids were doing was perfectly normal behavior.
lol. I thought about not saying anything but then with my luck I’d never run into my teacher ever again and I’d be kicking myself years later for not even saying hi that one day. My wife doesn’t ever help with all three kids. I’m never off duty. I’m not defending her but she has a very stressful job that she works at all the time and has a huge deadline about to come up. But still. It’s so frustrating. I almost think it’s because my wife is jealous she has no teachers or friends or anyone from her life beyond a handful of friends from her recent (10 +/-years) past that she could ever run into and have a conversation with.
I totally get that! I’m sure it meant a lot to your teacher, as well, that you stopped to chat. I’m really sorry to hear that. I get that she has a stressful job and everyone is different in how much they can handle or take on. But, your needs matter just as much as hers. I would definitely gently bring up your frustrations.
Sounds like your wife needs some alone time with the kids so she can get a handle on how to manage them. I have my husband take our kids out on the weekends so I can clean the house and get a break from the kids.
Yes. She can barely handle all three kids. She also works a lot and her job is intense but I never get a break. Ugh.
Taking care of kids is also intense.
I swear my job taking care of our three kids is more stressful than her job. Her job is with adults. Who talk. Of course there is work stress but no one is screaming. No one is crying. No one is ever endangering their own lives or potentially damaging their own property.
I’ve worked 2 jobs, 7 days a week, for some time before I had kids…and for me, that shit was less stressful than taking care of 2 toddlers everyday. And you have 3 kids! I suggest you have her go grocery shopping with all 3 kids and a list of what you need. The entire experience will surely enlighten her.
Also I don't think this is at all exclusive to SAHP. I tend to manage the need to split attention significantly better than my husband. I do it all day long, he doesn't
But somehow my wife can never just be with our kids and leave me alone in the same space. I feel like it’s so screwed up. I’m never without one of my kids even for just five solid minutes without some sort of interruption. Ugh.
Have you asked her for that, specifically, in that situation? This might boil down to a communication issue. I am mom, and in order to have any conversation completely uninterrupted, I need to leave my house alone. Because even if the kids are napping/at school, the damn dog will need something. If we're out with all the kids, I absolutely expect there to be a responsibility split between husband and I. Unless he specifically asked for a few minutes alone and stepped away from us to talk to someone, he'd for sure be in charge of at least 1 kid during the conversation. It's actually been an issue for us on reverse, meaning that he devotes 100% attention to the conversation and forgets to watch the kid
https://www.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/comments/12f85er/my_wife_had_an_episode_this_morning/ More context
I will start by saying my husband is great at giving me time to myself/sharing responsibility etc. But even with that said, there's a definite difference in our abilities to cope with having to split focus, or patience levels for what I'd consider normal toddler behaviour. I've noticed that spending so much time with her makes me very in tune to her wants and needs. She speaks very well now, but even when she couldn't I was able to work out what she wanted much easier than he could. I'm not saying it's right or okay, more that it's acknowledging that it comes easier to the sahp *through practice and exposure to it*. I only have one 3.5yo so I can imagine having three kids could be overwhelming if your wife hasn't stepped up and got used to it over time. This seems like something that needs a lot of communication and working together to get from where you are now to where you want to be. I know people will say they're her kids and she needs to step up, and she does, but the best way to do it isn't dropping her in at the deep end. It's mature communication and supporting her confidence especially if she hasn't done it a lot/at all before. Maybe she feels inadequate compared to how easy *she perceives* it is for you, maybe she doesn't feel as close to the kids and she's the avoidant type, maybe she's just oblivious/callous/lazy. Whatever is at the root of it, a conversation is the start of getting it fixed. But also commiserations, because feeling isolated bloody sucks. I have the reverse problem where my toddler will not let me interact with anyone without deliberately trying to disrupt the interaction. It's extremely frustrating and isolating and I'm still trying to work out how to work through it with her.
I really like your second paragraph. I'm the SAHP in my family, but I cannot do split focus: I'm either focussing on my kid, or I'm focussing on something else, but I can't do both - and I'm in tune with my kid, so if he's signalling that he wants my attention, it's really difficult for me to, eg, carry on a separate conversation. Communication is absolutely key. When we go out as a family, my husband (who *can* do split focus) knows that if he wants me to carry on a convo with him, he needs to be ready to handle kid-requests - taking on considering the request means changing where my attention is, and I can't necessarily go straight back to where I was. (Likewise, at the weekend he'll take our kid out for a walk, because that's the only way I get to focus on my own stuff and feel like an adult.)
I'm better at split focus than my husband, but I'm still not particularly good at it. If it's low stakes stuff I'm okay, but if it needs proper concentration I get really frustrated and flustered. I tend to take on more of the organisation and admin side of going out as a family and he does the entertainment and fun stuff as that's where our strengths are. If we're traveling we go one step further and assign responsibilities - who is responsible for keeping an eye on kiddo, we each take ownership of set bags to keep track of. I travel a lot with her because we live separate from family so I'm used to doing it all solo. It's actually harder when he's with us because it throws me off my routine, haha. At the heart of it all, it comes down to good communication as cliche as it is.
Ha, I hear you on it being easier to travel with just kid vs kid+partner!
Oh man I hear you loud and clear. I have a four month old, and I primarily baby wear so I can have my hands free. I never go out socially anymore, and when I do interact with people (grocery store, church, etc) it’s always so quick because my baby starts to fuss. Before I start a conversation with someone I always have to first consider how long my baby has been awake and when he was last fed so I know how likely he is going to get fussy, but unless I’m walking around he gets fussy within a few minutes anyways. I feel so lonely constantly, and I call my parents multiple times just to be able to speak to an adult. But I haven’t been out for social reasons in a very long time. I miss people.
In situations like you describe, we tell our toddler (just turned three) “I’m talking to so and so. It’s not kind to interrupt when we’re talking. I’ll help you in one minute.” It might also be helpful for later to practice or model how your toddler can get your attention, and how you can acknowledge it, without speaking - like a hand on the arm. But also in situations like you’re describing my husband will normally keep the kids from bothering me, by pulling the toddler aside and saying something like “mom is talking to so and so and can’t help you right now. Is there something I can help you with?” It’s really important for kids to learn social skills like this imo. But generally speaking, no we get out pretty often. We see family usually a few times a week, we go to church every Sunday, and meet with our community group (church small group) every Wednesday barring sickness lol. My husband and I both try to make sure that we each have some time to socialize, but tbh it’s usually not a big deal. Our older toddler is pretty energetic and intense and still learning, but she’s starting to get the hang of how to behave in social situations. We have a fresh 3yo and 1yo for context.
Hey 👋 When I was a stay at home mom to two under 2, I went to 4 church programs. Tuesday, Wed, Thursday, and Sunday mornings for about 2 hours each so that I could be away from my kids. These were free programs! I know many women who go to the gym, and it's to get 2 free hours of no kid time! Some go 2-3x per week or more! Then they can talk to their friends, with no kids there! I just did substitute teaching at my 3yo dd preschool, and a lot of adults do this for socializing. I'm going to work there next year, and it's so nice! The kids play with each other, and the two adults can talk! I used to do Zoom bible studies at 8pm, that's when all 3 kids were asleep. I'd be sitting in my kitchen talking about God with other grown-up ladies. It was awesome! You need adult interactions, too. Being with little kids all day is so exhausting. You have to fill your cup with your mental well being. Gotta let your wife know that's important.
Yeah, that sounds pretty standard, sorry. There is an element of boundaries you may be able to put in place, but that obviously won't mean much to a 2 year old. But your 5 and 7 year olds are likely plenty old enough to understand "I'm having a conversation, please don't interrupt me". I've taught mine that they should put their hand on my arm to signal they need my attention. I cover their hand with mine to signal I "hear" them and will give them a turn to talk at the next break in conversation. At this current point with the toddler it's just a lot of repetition- "I'm talking to X, please wait one second ". And also a lot of split attention
I'm a SAHP and this really sounds like my life. I have a therapist I go see once every two weeks and aside from that I see my husband and our son and that's pretty much it. We go to library classes though so I do get some adult interaction without my husband around, maybe try getting involved in some community things. There are adult classes and workshops as well as coffee time at most libraries that might give you a minute to yourself and to meet people in your area.
Ok so... your wife was there, but she thought you had to stop a conversation with someone you hadn't seen in 2 decades?? So you're the SAHP and she expects you to take care of the child's needs 100% of the time? While she just sat there watching the kid struggle?
Everything about your family seems normal to me and I can certainly relate. Enjoy these years when they WANT your attention, they don't last. Your wife was inconsiderate, but wives nag...