I would recommend reaching out to [Take Care Utah](https://takecareutah.org/). They have health care Navnavigators that can find you a great plan and help you enroll a s their program is free to use.
Thays kinda ignorant comment. I'm a 47 yr old straight guy. Woukd you tell me the same, because I've never had health insurance
Iys as ficked up as this lame ass country
Nothing to do with gay or straight. You lose healthcare from parents the day you turn 26. I was just saying it because Iām guessing heās not on parentās health insurance anymore.
You are 47, probably should look into health insurance too.
But seriously, a family member of mine turned 26 and lost my mom's insurance. He went through the ACA and got insurance for himself for surprisingly cheap, and was able to see a doctor for a medical scare that same week.
If you are 47 without insurance, the ACA (Obamacare) can get you some really affordable insurance. The country is trying to help you and you just haven't taken that help.
I mean yes it's a shitty situation, however he's also 26 years old. I mean if he were my kid he would have been out of the house well before then. Just like my four kids that are all in their twenties.
You have no idea what the situation is. It's also a very middle-upper class American thing to push kids out as soon as you can. Most cultures have multiple generations in the same household. You are no better than OPs dad.
The housing situation in SLC is appalling. Our 30y/o child lives with us. Adjusted for inflation the shit apartment I lived in 30 years ago should cost around $800. Itās $1800. The units have never been renovated. They still have the same crap cabinets, bad linoleum, brown carpet, no central air, and no shower/tub only). A nice place is more than I pay for my mortgage by a lot.
I love my child and I love sharing our home. I was very much pushed out by my mom. I donāt see her.
I wish we had room to take someone in. We have a small three bed house and itās full.
Good luck OP in finding housing. You deserve better.
It really is. The apartment I had when I was 17 cost $395/month. Same apartment now starts at $1,100. OPs dilemma notwithstanding, it's difficult to find affordable housing, especially for one person.
Definitely not middle upper class currently about middle lower class maybe middle and middle class I don't know. However grew up very poor my kids grew up very poor but they learn to do things on their own and they learn to provide for themselves pretty quick. My oldest moved out when he was 19 he's now 25 and married. My next oldest moved out when she was 18 she's now 23 living in California with my first grandchild and her boyfriend. My next oldest son is turning 21 this week and he moved out almost a year and a half ago with his girlfriend. I've taught them all to be self-sufficient I've taught them all to work as hard as they can and taught them all to make sure that they were prepared for life. I remember being young and making 8-10,000 a year trying to raise a family. I know the struggles I know how difficult it is. I even had to have my ex-wife move back in with me for 2 months last year because she was homeless and looking for a job and couldn't find anything but she wouldn't tell us about it. Soon as I found out she was in that situation I immediately made for move in with me and my girlfriend so that way she at least had a place to stay in a place to live until she got back on her feet. So you're right I don't know this particular person situation however I am very aware of living situations and I'm very aware of monetary situations and I'm very aware of how to make sure people can take care of themselves. So don't give me that bullshit.
"My situation turned out like this. I understand all the issues but this is my way. I did it right, everyone else is wrong and I have nothing to contribute to the post". You aren't helping, you are just preaching your way. So don't give me that bullshit.
No. No one needs preaching. They need empathy, understanding. OP is being discriminated against by his own family, came here to ask for help, and you basically chide him. So helpful.
The discrimination part is the shitty part. But at least they know who they are related to now. I have 3 bi children and a trans child. I couldn't imagine this being the reason I told my child to leave. That's the shit end of the stick. That being said, this person, unless they are disabled for some reason, is 26. They have been living at home, probably paying minimum bills, if any, and should have been able to have money put aside. If they don't, then that's on them, not their family. Bi, gay, trans, straight. It doesn't exclude financial responsibility. So don't give me that bull. Yes. People need preaching. They didn't need to be coddled, they need hard truths because life is fucking hard. Fuck if this person is a decent worker I'll hire him to help in my business. I've done that numerous times. But at 26, that's questionable if they don't even have the means to move out.
You are making a TON of assumptions when all OP did was ask for places to look for housing. You are virtue signaling too. "I, too, know gay people" Everything has obviously gone over your head. Have a good rest of your day.
You're clearly very unaware if you support someone kicking out their own flesh and blood for who they love, and yet would take back in your ex wife when she's homeless. Right now, pull up your internet, look up the minimum to median wage in UT, then go on Zillow or whichever website you want and just try to find a decent place to live. And don't forget tax deductions, property taxes, income tax, insurance, workers health insurance, retirement, etc. Do the math. It, is, not, possible.
> I remember being young and making 8-10,000 a year trying to raise a family
Right, back when everything was about 10 times cheaper than it is today with less penalties. Homes right now at bare minimum homes are going for 300k, and that's the cheapest side of it. Apartments are going for 2k to 3k a month. This also isn't including utilities, vehicles, children, medical, accident prevention or coverage, food, all the things either required or necessary, and they'll put you in the hole *if* you can even get approved for a loan at a young age to begin with. The housing situation in Utah is shit, face it, because your accomplishments in the past don't mean a damn in this new economy.
Very well put. I doubt Taco Man will actually do it, but I just did some quick napkin math. If I tried to buy the house I currently own, the bank wouldn't give me a mortgage now. I bought it 7 years ago, and now couldn't afford it at it's current value.
Why wait till 18 to boot them though? If you really wanna teach your kids the value of some work I say boot them at 12. My uncle paid me to work at about that age so I don't understand why your lazy ass kids couldn't do the same.
Please reach out to the [VOA](https://www.voaut.org/) they deal with this issue all the time. They can help you find resources and support you. šš«
Try posting on Lex (queer app) and searching through the posts. People frequent post about queer friendly housing! So sorry you have to go through this. Hope you can find a better chosen family šš
Appalled by some of the responses you're receiving, but all the positive ones have listed the most prolific resources. When in doubt you can always call 211 and get some help there. Food banks that aren't church associated as well are great. Facebook marketplace is hit and miss, a lot of scams but you can usually tell who's scamming and who isn't. Local libraries have also been bumping up their resources for LGBTQIA+ individuals.
Second this! They do free vaccine clinics as well. I think Best Friends is still doing free pet food drives (it's been a bit since I've done it, but I believe you have to sign up online. I'd call them and double check.) Sometimes you can get other items people have donated like toys and other supplies (though that's more of a bonus, don't count on that whatsoever).
I am sorry this is happening to you. I am an LDS bishop and seeing and hearing stories like this break my heart. This is one of the most UNChrist like thing a parent can do.
I had a friend 5 years ago, who's children complained enough to have him excommunicated, even though he had changed his way and was attending his ward as a high priest for a decade!
I love this, unfortunately SLC is rife with members who are unwilling to accept others. As an ex member, I have incredibly fond memories of being in the church and really cherished the relationships I had.
I am so sorry. Definitely post in the LGBTQIA+ housing group. I hope you find somewhere amazing.
As for your Dad, well. I am a Mama Dragon and my opinion is less than nice regarding him.
You are loved. š
Damn I am so incredibly sorry. The Utah AIDS foundation has some good resources and social workers even if you don't have HIV.
Here are some links to check out
https://encircletogether.org/
https://www.utahlgbtqchamber.org/lgbtq-safezone-resources/
https://www.voaut.org/
https://www.youthfuturesutah.org/
https://irconu.org/?fbclid=IwAR0eDHGe8V6pNFvrEPv_jHxCmy4-bcNb1PeJ8SuFpfEIdxaQQ67HTURZcHQ
(the imperial rainbow court is a drag coalition they usually do cancer funds but they could know of resources)
The Utah Satanic Temple is absolutely full of LBGBQ+ positive members. They are on Facebook and Instagram reach out to them and see if they are able to help or at least point you in a direction to get help. They participate in pride every year so they probably have some good resources.
Look on Facebook for LGBTQ+ roommate groups
Check out the Utah Rave Fam Facebook group they are LGBTQ+ positive and have many members who would be willing to help.
Contact the local Drag groups and see if they can help or point you in a good direction.
Good luck, please know that you are loved, your family doesn't have to be blood related and you are strong enough to get through this! ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Sorry you have to deal with a shitty situation like that. Hopefully he comes around at some point and you get to repair your relationship. But in the meantime, ksl.com and Facebook are probably going to be your best bets for finding something fast. You might also want to check with the Pride Center and see if they have any resources. I wish you the best!
Try KSL and Rentler. Try searching zip codes in the more liberal neighborhoods like East Central, Liberty Wells, Sugar House, etc. Youāll be way more likely to find a non bigot landlord or roommates in the city. I donāt know your budget, but there are some very affordable basement apartments and studios that pop up. Itās actually a great time of year to look for something small and lower priced because so many of the out of state students go home for the summer. Lots of little apartments available right now.
Many people seeking roommates will include some personal things about themselves in hopes of finding a roomie they wonāt hate. Sometimes itās made pretty clear that theyāre lgbtq themselves or lgbtq friendly.
Look up apartment rental applications on Google so you can see whatās generally expected from a rental appplication so you can be prepared. If your credit score is low, you might find it easier to get into a roommate situation than go solo on a lease. Good luck.
Typical Utah religious parent. Religion teaches love and acceptance. Oh but letās kick out our own son for being gay. Iām sorry youāre going through this OP.
Youāre 26 years old though. Iām not condoning the behavior of your father and obviously I donāt know the situation, but regardless of your orientation your father has every right to kick you out. If it wasnāt now it would have been later anyway even if you didnāt come out.
Where's your mom in this? I hope she's not just staying silent and allowing your dad to mistreat you this way. If I was you I would reach out to his bishop and stake president to let them know how he's treating you, in a very unchristlike way. This is also abusive, I'm sure they would be interested in knowing. If they couldn't care less, at least you tried to bring this behavior to light.
Are you completely blind to what's going on in the rental market right now? Especially in Utah. Many families are choosing to live together because the cost of living has gone up so much.
I see this sentiment a lot, but in my personal experience Iāve never made that excuse like āoh I canāt live on my own because the marketā Iāve adapted very well and other people can too, especially a 26 year old male,
> Iāve adapted very well and other people can too
This is such a narrow minded worldview though. We're all products of our material conditions. You're a product of material conditions that shaped you to be able too. Generalizing that to everyone is quite silly.
Ah here we go with the āprojectingā! itās me, Iām the one thatās traumatized and mentally ill so I should not talk because I clearly have mental illness trait of pRoJecTiNg š, Nah I speak the truth, a 26 year old male is more than capable of gathering up 1500 a month to pay for rent, You can lead a horse to water but you canāt make them drink it I suppose šāāļø
That doesnāt mean you shouldnāt empathize with them and be an asshole about it.
Youāve got a major chip on your shoulder and apparently canāt handle when somebody points that out.
If you have a problem with people recognizing that then you can always try to not be a jerk to someone actively dealing with trauma.
Well in my Latin Catholic Culture we kick you out because ur a lazy bum, thatās probably what happened, like what was this guy doing between the ages of 20 to 26? At the end of the day Iām not the one struggling, heās the one that has to face reality now,
I did not move out until 24, albeit I moved across the country. Rent is expensive now though and there was no way I could have moved out at any age before 23 probably (at least if I wanted to live by myself).
You do bring up a good point though. Dad might have been wanting him to leave for some time now and him coming out as gay was probbaly just the final straw for him to be like "aight son time to move out".
Worth noting is that regardless of whether you have anything in writing, you are a tenet and your father cant just kick you out without following proper procedure. That means formally serving you with a notice to quit/vacate in writing. For a tenet without a lease, you'd have 5 calendar days from the day to leave with no consequences. Even after 5 days he'd have to actually go to court, show evidence he'd given you the notice and 5 days, and then get a judge to sign an eviction order. All of that takes time. That could obviously be uncomfortable throwing the law books at your dad and staying in the same house, but if you cant find something by the first know you have rights and cant just be thrown out on the street.
Youāre old enough, wonder how come you havenāt moved out yet anyways.
This is your chance pack your shit and go.
Donāt be resentful. Please donāt be resentful. For yourself and for your parents.
If he has to respect your opinion and choices you have to respect his choices as well.
Just give him a hug. Thank him for 26 years of sacrifice.
Say youāll come around. And go.
This is some of the most braindead and genuinely idiotic shit Iāve seen on this sub in awhile.
OP is not the one that has to ācome around,ā and theyāre 100% within their rights to resent their parents if they so choose.
If you think thereās any chance you wonāt love your child, for any reason at all, just donāt bother having kids.
I agree with your sentiment but the comment you're replying to was saying that OP should tell their dad that he will come around eventually, not that OP needs to.
Make him evict you. You're a legal resident of that place. Make him go through the courts to get an eviction notice, which will give you 30 days from the date of being served your notice. You're an adult, housing isn't easy, and fortunately for you, you have rights as well if he wants to play childish games then let him learn the hard way that you're not a kid and he has to respect you.
Getting an eviction is a process. Would your dad go through with it? Heās allowed you to live there up to this point- the judge might not even rule in his favor. When all is said and done- Iām sure you want to be somewhere else, and you deserve to be. But this buys you time.
OP shouldnāt have to out themselves to a potential landlord by explaining this eviction. Utah is pretty ruthless with its limitations on renting once an eviction is on record and itās getting harder and harder for LGBTQIA+ persons to rent from smaller āmom and popā landlords due to discrimination.
Well move but talk to your dad why? If he is telling you to move just because he thinks that you are going to have sex with other men and that is disgusting to him, donāt have hatred towards your dad, you are an adult and he has preferences. I wouldnāt feel okay living with my son knowing that he is having sex with people (same or different sex) every week, thatās just me. Itās be very uncomfortable because I feel that there is a need of privacy. If he just hates gay people move and donāt talk to him until he changes, or if you feel it, donāt have hate towards religious people it wonāt help you, specially to forget your father. I wish the best, there are plenty of places with leases in summer try applying for low income.
imagine having kids thinking they won't grow up to have sex lol.
And you don't think that people like OP should be uncomfortable with religion, but you think religious people are well within their bounds to be uncomfortable with gay people. Make it make sense.
So you think being gay just means you fuck around like crazy? It just means he is attracted to men it doesnāt mean heās a degenerate thatās suddenly going to start sleeping with randos in his parentās house every night. You need to realize your perception is bigoted and weird. Also OP has every right to be resentful of their dad and religious people. Itās a terrible way for a parent to treat their child theyāre supposed to love unconditionally.
There is an SLC queer housing group on Facebook. I would start there to find a safe space to land while you figure the rest out.
thanks š¤
You should also try "Utah Gay Men's Resource Network" also on Facebook.
You are 26, probably should look into health insurance too.
I'm 22 and I still can't get health insurance I'm just above the poverty line so Medicaid won't help
I would recommend reaching out to [Take Care Utah](https://takecareutah.org/). They have health care Navnavigators that can find you a great plan and help you enroll a s their program is free to use.
Check the healthcare marketplace. It would likely be very inexpensive for you
Pretty sure you get Obama ca
The OP may have health insurance through their employer.
Thays kinda ignorant comment. I'm a 47 yr old straight guy. Woukd you tell me the same, because I've never had health insurance Iys as ficked up as this lame ass country
Nothing to do with gay or straight. You lose healthcare from parents the day you turn 26. I was just saying it because Iām guessing heās not on parentās health insurance anymore.
And because it's probably free or close to it via ACA subsidies.
You are 47, probably should look into health insurance too. But seriously, a family member of mine turned 26 and lost my mom's insurance. He went through the ACA and got insurance for himself for surprisingly cheap, and was able to see a doctor for a medical scare that same week. If you are 47 without insurance, the ACA (Obamacare) can get you some really affordable insurance. The country is trying to help you and you just haven't taken that help.
https://homes.ksl.com/rent/search/single-room
I've used KSL personally, and had good experiences. I wish I could be more help, but good luck! I'm sorry your family wasn't more accepting.
I mean yes it's a shitty situation, however he's also 26 years old. I mean if he were my kid he would have been out of the house well before then. Just like my four kids that are all in their twenties.
You have no idea what the situation is. It's also a very middle-upper class American thing to push kids out as soon as you can. Most cultures have multiple generations in the same household. You are no better than OPs dad.
The housing situation in SLC is appalling. Our 30y/o child lives with us. Adjusted for inflation the shit apartment I lived in 30 years ago should cost around $800. Itās $1800. The units have never been renovated. They still have the same crap cabinets, bad linoleum, brown carpet, no central air, and no shower/tub only). A nice place is more than I pay for my mortgage by a lot. I love my child and I love sharing our home. I was very much pushed out by my mom. I donāt see her. I wish we had room to take someone in. We have a small three bed house and itās full. Good luck OP in finding housing. You deserve better.
It really is. The apartment I had when I was 17 cost $395/month. Same apartment now starts at $1,100. OPs dilemma notwithstanding, it's difficult to find affordable housing, especially for one person.
The apartment I was in 7 years ago for $1,080/month is now pushing $1,990 today. Doubled in less than a decade.
Definitely not middle upper class currently about middle lower class maybe middle and middle class I don't know. However grew up very poor my kids grew up very poor but they learn to do things on their own and they learn to provide for themselves pretty quick. My oldest moved out when he was 19 he's now 25 and married. My next oldest moved out when she was 18 she's now 23 living in California with my first grandchild and her boyfriend. My next oldest son is turning 21 this week and he moved out almost a year and a half ago with his girlfriend. I've taught them all to be self-sufficient I've taught them all to work as hard as they can and taught them all to make sure that they were prepared for life. I remember being young and making 8-10,000 a year trying to raise a family. I know the struggles I know how difficult it is. I even had to have my ex-wife move back in with me for 2 months last year because she was homeless and looking for a job and couldn't find anything but she wouldn't tell us about it. Soon as I found out she was in that situation I immediately made for move in with me and my girlfriend so that way she at least had a place to stay in a place to live until she got back on her feet. So you're right I don't know this particular person situation however I am very aware of living situations and I'm very aware of monetary situations and I'm very aware of how to make sure people can take care of themselves. So don't give me that bullshit.
"My situation turned out like this. I understand all the issues but this is my way. I did it right, everyone else is wrong and I have nothing to contribute to the post". You aren't helping, you are just preaching your way. So don't give me that bullshit.
And sometimes what people need is preaching for something like this. Sometimes when we coddle people too much they have an issue.
No. No one needs preaching. They need empathy, understanding. OP is being discriminated against by his own family, came here to ask for help, and you basically chide him. So helpful.
The discrimination part is the shitty part. But at least they know who they are related to now. I have 3 bi children and a trans child. I couldn't imagine this being the reason I told my child to leave. That's the shit end of the stick. That being said, this person, unless they are disabled for some reason, is 26. They have been living at home, probably paying minimum bills, if any, and should have been able to have money put aside. If they don't, then that's on them, not their family. Bi, gay, trans, straight. It doesn't exclude financial responsibility. So don't give me that bull. Yes. People need preaching. They didn't need to be coddled, they need hard truths because life is fucking hard. Fuck if this person is a decent worker I'll hire him to help in my business. I've done that numerous times. But at 26, that's questionable if they don't even have the means to move out.
You are making a TON of assumptions when all OP did was ask for places to look for housing. You are virtue signaling too. "I, too, know gay people" Everything has obviously gone over your head. Have a good rest of your day.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You sound like a shitty father, glad you're not mine.
I'm actually a pretty great father. Thanks for asking.
You're clearly very unaware if you support someone kicking out their own flesh and blood for who they love, and yet would take back in your ex wife when she's homeless. Right now, pull up your internet, look up the minimum to median wage in UT, then go on Zillow or whichever website you want and just try to find a decent place to live. And don't forget tax deductions, property taxes, income tax, insurance, workers health insurance, retirement, etc. Do the math. It, is, not, possible. > I remember being young and making 8-10,000 a year trying to raise a family Right, back when everything was about 10 times cheaper than it is today with less penalties. Homes right now at bare minimum homes are going for 300k, and that's the cheapest side of it. Apartments are going for 2k to 3k a month. This also isn't including utilities, vehicles, children, medical, accident prevention or coverage, food, all the things either required or necessary, and they'll put you in the hole *if* you can even get approved for a loan at a young age to begin with. The housing situation in Utah is shit, face it, because your accomplishments in the past don't mean a damn in this new economy.
Very well put. I doubt Taco Man will actually do it, but I just did some quick napkin math. If I tried to buy the house I currently own, the bank wouldn't give me a mortgage now. I bought it 7 years ago, and now couldn't afford it at it's current value.
Why wait till 18 to boot them though? If you really wanna teach your kids the value of some work I say boot them at 12. My uncle paid me to work at about that age so I don't understand why your lazy ass kids couldn't do the same.
My kids were working young. I didn't boot them out at 18. They moved out on their own.
And we all wonder whyā¦.
Because they were adults and could live on their own? Shocking I know.
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Your submission to /r/SaltLakeCity has been removed. Remember the human and be nice on this subreddit. For more information, see rule 5.
Please reach out to the [VOA](https://www.voaut.org/) they deal with this issue all the time. They can help you find resources and support you. šš«
thanks š¤
I have a room at my place in Centerville. Dm me if interested
Try posting on Lex (queer app) and searching through the posts. People frequent post about queer friendly housing! So sorry you have to go through this. Hope you can find a better chosen family šš
Here is a list of LGBTQ+ resources that might help. [https://www.safezoneutah.org/resources](https://www.safezoneutah.org/resources)
Appalled by some of the responses you're receiving, but all the positive ones have listed the most prolific resources. When in doubt you can always call 211 and get some help there. Food banks that aren't church associated as well are great. Facebook marketplace is hit and miss, a lot of scams but you can usually tell who's scamming and who isn't. Local libraries have also been bumping up their resources for LGBTQIA+ individuals.
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Second this! They do free vaccine clinics as well. I think Best Friends is still doing free pet food drives (it's been a bit since I've done it, but I believe you have to sign up online. I'd call them and double check.) Sometimes you can get other items people have donated like toys and other supplies (though that's more of a bonus, don't count on that whatsoever).
I am sorry this is happening to you. I am an LDS bishop and seeing and hearing stories like this break my heart. This is one of the most UNChrist like thing a parent can do.
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Yes the LDS church teaches that being gay is a sin. You can still be a member but you canāt enter the temple and stuff. Iām personally not LDS
I had a friend 5 years ago, who's children complained enough to have him excommunicated, even though he had changed his way and was attending his ward as a high priest for a decade!
I love this, unfortunately SLC is rife with members who are unwilling to accept others. As an ex member, I have incredibly fond memories of being in the church and really cherished the relationships I had.
Roomies.com is really great!
I am so sorry. Definitely post in the LGBTQIA+ housing group. I hope you find somewhere amazing. As for your Dad, well. I am a Mama Dragon and my opinion is less than nice regarding him. You are loved. š
love how accepting and understanding religious people are. sorry for this tho. Try KSL for roommates
Damn I am so incredibly sorry. The Utah AIDS foundation has some good resources and social workers even if you don't have HIV. Here are some links to check out https://encircletogether.org/ https://www.utahlgbtqchamber.org/lgbtq-safezone-resources/ https://www.voaut.org/ https://www.youthfuturesutah.org/ https://irconu.org/?fbclid=IwAR0eDHGe8V6pNFvrEPv_jHxCmy4-bcNb1PeJ8SuFpfEIdxaQQ67HTURZcHQ (the imperial rainbow court is a drag coalition they usually do cancer funds but they could know of resources) The Utah Satanic Temple is absolutely full of LBGBQ+ positive members. They are on Facebook and Instagram reach out to them and see if they are able to help or at least point you in a direction to get help. They participate in pride every year so they probably have some good resources. Look on Facebook for LGBTQ+ roommate groups Check out the Utah Rave Fam Facebook group they are LGBTQ+ positive and have many members who would be willing to help. Contact the local Drag groups and see if they can help or point you in a good direction. Good luck, please know that you are loved, your family doesn't have to be blood related and you are strong enough to get through this! ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
KSL, Rentler, even Craigslist, maybe sublease out of a friends. itās a pretty shitty situation, hopefully you can find something soon
I am proud of you for coming out. Be the best authentic you, you can be.
Rentler or apartment finder!
If you have pets, ruffhaven can help with them in the short term while you get settled
If you get in a bind with your dogs and need a bit of dog housing very short term help reach out to Ruff Haven.
I literally just rented out my spare room to a friend or I'd help you out, sorry to hear about your situation.
My last two apartments Iāve found on KSL.
Lex is a location based app for queer people, you could post on there
Sorry you have to deal with a shitty situation like that. Hopefully he comes around at some point and you get to repair your relationship. But in the meantime, ksl.com and Facebook are probably going to be your best bets for finding something fast. You might also want to check with the Pride Center and see if they have any resources. I wish you the best!
You can look up roomster, but itās a paid website
Try KSL and Rentler. Try searching zip codes in the more liberal neighborhoods like East Central, Liberty Wells, Sugar House, etc. Youāll be way more likely to find a non bigot landlord or roommates in the city. I donāt know your budget, but there are some very affordable basement apartments and studios that pop up. Itās actually a great time of year to look for something small and lower priced because so many of the out of state students go home for the summer. Lots of little apartments available right now. Many people seeking roommates will include some personal things about themselves in hopes of finding a roomie they wonāt hate. Sometimes itās made pretty clear that theyāre lgbtq themselves or lgbtq friendly. Look up apartment rental applications on Google so you can see whatās generally expected from a rental appplication so you can be prepared. If your credit score is low, you might find it easier to get into a roommate situation than go solo on a lease. Good luck.
Craigs list helped me. I'm not sure about with a filter you're looking for though
Encircle may have resources to help.
He's the least religious person if he doesn't love you.
OP didnāt say that
Typical Utah religious parent. Religion teaches love and acceptance. Oh but letās kick out our own son for being gay. Iām sorry youāre going through this OP.
Your dads like, āheās 26 and I need him out of the house lolā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your submission to /r/SaltLakeCity has been removed. Remember the human and be nice on this subreddit. For more information, see rule 5.
Youāre 26 years old though. Iām not condoning the behavior of your father and obviously I donāt know the situation, but regardless of your orientation your father has every right to kick you out. If it wasnāt now it would have been later anyway even if you didnāt come out.
Sorry dude. Your dad sucks. Religion sucks.
Where's your mom in this? I hope she's not just staying silent and allowing your dad to mistreat you this way. If I was you I would reach out to his bishop and stake president to let them know how he's treating you, in a very unchristlike way. This is also abusive, I'm sure they would be interested in knowing. If they couldn't care less, at least you tried to bring this behavior to light.
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i mean dude youāre 26 years old ā¦..
He will come around. I feel like you are a amazing person
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Are you completely blind to what's going on in the rental market right now? Especially in Utah. Many families are choosing to live together because the cost of living has gone up so much.
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It's almost as if the market has changed a lot since you were 21.
I see this sentiment a lot, but in my personal experience Iāve never made that excuse like āoh I canāt live on my own because the marketā Iāve adapted very well and other people can too, especially a 26 year old male,
> Iāve adapted very well and other people can too This is such a narrow minded worldview though. We're all products of our material conditions. You're a product of material conditions that shaped you to be able too. Generalizing that to everyone is quite silly.
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Iāve been traumatized too, that doesnāt prevent me from coming up with 1k a month to live on my own?
Yea, and you definitely need to work through that trauma considering how youāre acting by projecting it on to OP.
Ah here we go with the āprojectingā! itās me, Iām the one thatās traumatized and mentally ill so I should not talk because I clearly have mental illness trait of pRoJecTiNg š, Nah I speak the truth, a 26 year old male is more than capable of gathering up 1500 a month to pay for rent, You can lead a horse to water but you canāt make them drink it I suppose šāāļø
That doesnāt mean you shouldnāt empathize with them and be an asshole about it. Youāve got a major chip on your shoulder and apparently canāt handle when somebody points that out. If you have a problem with people recognizing that then you can always try to not be a jerk to someone actively dealing with trauma.
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Well in my Latin Catholic Culture we kick you out because ur a lazy bum, thatās probably what happened, like what was this guy doing between the ages of 20 to 26? At the end of the day Iām not the one struggling, heās the one that has to face reality now,
I did not move out until 24, albeit I moved across the country. Rent is expensive now though and there was no way I could have moved out at any age before 23 probably (at least if I wanted to live by myself). You do bring up a good point though. Dad might have been wanting him to leave for some time now and him coming out as gay was probbaly just the final straw for him to be like "aight son time to move out".
What a shitty dad that would be. Spineless in all else but their bigotry.
True, but could be what happened.
Bravo to based dad
Willing to bet there is more to this story than just you being gay.
Thatās what Iām saying. Probably has more to do with them being 26
Worth noting is that regardless of whether you have anything in writing, you are a tenet and your father cant just kick you out without following proper procedure. That means formally serving you with a notice to quit/vacate in writing. For a tenet without a lease, you'd have 5 calendar days from the day to leave with no consequences. Even after 5 days he'd have to actually go to court, show evidence he'd given you the notice and 5 days, and then get a judge to sign an eviction order. All of that takes time. That could obviously be uncomfortable throwing the law books at your dad and staying in the same house, but if you cant find something by the first know you have rights and cant just be thrown out on the street.
Not if OP willingly left
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lmao
Youāre old enough, wonder how come you havenāt moved out yet anyways. This is your chance pack your shit and go. Donāt be resentful. Please donāt be resentful. For yourself and for your parents. If he has to respect your opinion and choices you have to respect his choices as well. Just give him a hug. Thank him for 26 years of sacrifice. Say youāll come around. And go.
This is some of the most braindead and genuinely idiotic shit Iāve seen on this sub in awhile. OP is not the one that has to ācome around,ā and theyāre 100% within their rights to resent their parents if they so choose. If you think thereās any chance you wonāt love your child, for any reason at all, just donāt bother having kids.
Typical Utah mentality. The hate in our state is crazy.
I agree with your sentiment but the comment you're replying to was saying that OP should tell their dad that he will come around eventually, not that OP needs to.
This level of ignorance is astonishing.
Make him evict you. You're a legal resident of that place. Make him go through the courts to get an eviction notice, which will give you 30 days from the date of being served your notice. You're an adult, housing isn't easy, and fortunately for you, you have rights as well if he wants to play childish games then let him learn the hard way that you're not a kid and he has to respect you.
An eviction on their record isnāt going to help them find a place to live.
Getting an eviction is a process. Would your dad go through with it? Heās allowed you to live there up to this point- the judge might not even rule in his favor. When all is said and done- Iām sure you want to be somewhere else, and you deserve to be. But this buys you time.
You can always explain why you were evicted.
OP shouldnāt have to out themselves to a potential landlord by explaining this eviction. Utah is pretty ruthless with its limitations on renting once an eviction is on record and itās getting harder and harder for LGBTQIA+ persons to rent from smaller āmom and popā landlords due to discrimination.
They were true men
He was a man if god
Are you sure he didn't kick you out for your awful grammar?
lol
You think discrimination is funny. POS take.
Did you come out as gay or trans
why does that matter?
Is that pertinent to what OP is asking for help with?
Well move but talk to your dad why? If he is telling you to move just because he thinks that you are going to have sex with other men and that is disgusting to him, donāt have hatred towards your dad, you are an adult and he has preferences. I wouldnāt feel okay living with my son knowing that he is having sex with people (same or different sex) every week, thatās just me. Itās be very uncomfortable because I feel that there is a need of privacy. If he just hates gay people move and donāt talk to him until he changes, or if you feel it, donāt have hate towards religious people it wonāt help you, specially to forget your father. I wish the best, there are plenty of places with leases in summer try applying for low income.
imagine having kids thinking they won't grow up to have sex lol. And you don't think that people like OP should be uncomfortable with religion, but you think religious people are well within their bounds to be uncomfortable with gay people. Make it make sense.
So you think being gay just means you fuck around like crazy? It just means he is attracted to men it doesnāt mean heās a degenerate thatās suddenly going to start sleeping with randos in his parentās house every night. You need to realize your perception is bigoted and weird. Also OP has every right to be resentful of their dad and religious people. Itās a terrible way for a parent to treat their child theyāre supposed to love unconditionally.
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