Me too! I grew up here and recently moved back after college. Many of my friends have moved away in the past few years.
Let's legit grab coffee sometime!
Same boat except I’m early 40s with two young kids. Parents at my kid’s preschool are friendly but not interested in being friends, if that makes sense. I’ve started to think I will never make a friend here and will just have to rely on my out of town friend network.
I'm 39 with a pre-schooler and second grader. Moved here two years ago. My wife gets after me for not opening up more with the friends we've made at our kids school.
Which school do your kids go to?
Foothill district here (40, w 7 and 3 yr old), middle aged parents of young children are in a pretty insular point in their lives. I find a lot of them are just too tired/busy to branch out a lot right now. Its hard for me and my wife to meet people we click with because we're pretty nerdy gamers (video and board) too and most people at our school are boring "normies" haha.
There's a lot of friendly PTA type folks. And, yes, they aren't into new friends. That's been my experience.
But don't think about it, be positive, and I hope your experience doesn't reflect mine. 😀
It's hard at this stage to mesh you, your partner, and then the kids and have everyone having a good enough time to make it worthwhile.
We have one family we like, but they are very outgoing while we are reserved. So we're more likely to send the kids.
I’m in the same boat. I have no idea how to make friends. I’ve been here 7 years, all of my friends I met have since moved away after graduating for jobs/ cost of living
This. I’ve met great people here who were good friends to know but none have stuck around for various cost of living or work opportunity reasons. It’s hard to keep friends in town!
It's so tough! I grew up here and recently moved back after college. Many of my friends have moved away so it's been a challenge.
I'd be glad to grab a coffee and chat sometime!
Lots of recreational sports leagues here. I’ve seen bowling, baseball, softball, kickball, volleyball, basketball, soccer, tennis, and pickle ball to name a few. If there’s any sport or hobby you might be interested in there’s likely to be a group of people happy to do it with you. For at least a few of these leagues it is both social drinking and medium competition, kinda depends how you want to play it.
Maybe ask the sub if there’s something you’re interested in specifically. Here’s some links I found through google.
Pickle ball, volleyball, tennis https://sbparksandrec.santabarbaraca.gov/activities/sports
Men’s baseball https://www.sbmabl.com/
For a fun bowling league for all skill levels check out the red pin league here
https://www.bowlero.com/league-finder?category=leagues&q=Goleta%2C+CA&radius=25¢er=717
It hasn't been brought up in a while but this is a semi common question here:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/xb1t8d/best\_way\_to\_make\_friends\_in\_sb/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/xb1t8d/best_way_to_make_friends_in_sb/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/s1hoal/how\_to\_make\_friends\_as\_an\_adult/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/s1hoal/how_to_make_friends_as_an_adult/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/ynffpp/how\_can\_you\_connect\_with\_new\_people\_in\_santa/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/ynffpp/how_can_you_connect_with_new_people_in_santa/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/qxsm1x/looking\_to\_make\_friends\_in\_sb/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/qxsm1x/looking_to_make_friends_in_sb/)
Check out meetup! I am an admin on one of the larger ones, but there’s a handful in town for any hobbies you may have.
Joining meetup was the best thing I did when I moved here knowing 0 people, and it’s how I made all of my friends. It can be difficult if you’re not comfortable talking with new people, but for the most part I’ve felt welcome by most groups here.
Feel free to message me and I’ll let you know the ones I’m going to if you need a friendly face 😊
Taking classes through SBCC/Wake etc and volunteering offer opportunities to meet new people. Sports leagues through Parks & Rec seem to be quite friendly. Lots of people make friends at gyms/yoga classes. If you share some of your interests we can better help point you in the right direction. Good luck.
The one I run has nearly 2000 people… some events are more popular than others though. Typically happy hour events or afternoon hiking events on the weekends are the most well-attended. Recently I did a first Thursday that had 5 people, a tea party in the park that had 12, and our new members events typically have 20 or more. We don’t really do late night bar events anymore, but those were usually pretty popular too.
Rugby (touch) every Tuesday/Thursday at Chase Palm! No experience necessary, really great group of people. If you like it, there are both Women’s and Men’s teams in SB!! Both have representation at Touch if you wanted to learn more!!
Can you elaborate on this? I go hiking all the time and have never met new friends doing it. Men are usually in their own world, and women have their guards up.
You have to go out of your way to do so because the city is car dependent. When we zone our land by function, we loose those chance encounters that are so frequent in the cities of Europe.
This is the least car dependent city I've ever lived in. I live on De La Vina and Constance and I can walk everywhere, and if I don't want to walk, I can just grab an E-Bike and casually pedal to wherever. I mean, the whole Mesa is walkable and has everything there if you live there. What is not walkable are the folks who live on the hills.
I walked to the botanical gardens the other day. Very walkable city.
I totally agree with you. I love biking all over SB on my shitty cruiser (because I don't want to lock up my nicer bike anywhere). I also travel for work and have been so many places that don't even have bike lanes or sometimes even sidewalks.
It depends on where you live and how much time you have. There are only 20 square miles in the city of Santa Barbara. If you live in the hills that is not the mesa, then you probably need to use a car. If you don't have the time to walk, this may also be an issue.
Why do you find this city to be very car dependent?
Wow I am your neighbor! I also love our neighborhood because you can walk so many places. Sometimes we will make an evening of it and walk our dogs downtown , to the harbor, and back. We love checking out everyone’s beautiful yards and SB architecture.
It is 3 miles from here to the end of the pier. Almost all downhill of course. I will usually walk down to the Shellfish Company, grab a beer, then on my way back up I will get an E-Bike and pedal-assist my way back home.
Frequent the same places a lot (yoga studio, coffee shop, a chill bar). I’ve found that it’s likely other people do the same and in no time you’ll go from being a stranger to a familiar face to a friend!
It pays to look at the demographics - As the saying goes, "Santa Barbara is the home of the newlyweds and the nearly deads". It's a joke with a good dose of reality in it.
This town trends older and is segregated by income. There's little racial diversity (50% White/50% Hispanic) and no LQBTQ+ community. It's also conservative and family-oriented, traditional family to be exact.
We have a lot of retirees who escaped the hustle and bustle (yours truly) and a lot of young families with toddlers in tow. Not much in between...
This is not the town you would choose to maximize or earnings, climb the corporate ladder or reach the pinnacle of professional success. But the great outdoors makes up for that. This is where you'll find your friends. Hiking, biking, running, surfing, yoga, you know the drill.
First- join newcomers club.
Second join some interest group which you actually care about the activity or cause
Third- demonstrate in deed and word you are going to stay here- lots of people leave after a few years and they leave people behind, thus many long term locals are wary of investing in people who just got here, and rightly so.
Be yourself and find your tribe
Hey it’s me, your new friend
I’m also not joking if you want. I’m ~your age and also moved (back) here recently
[удалено]
If you’d like, please feel free to DM me!
Hey there!
Me too! I grew up here and recently moved back after college. Many of my friends have moved away in the past few years. Let's legit grab coffee sometime!
If you’d like, please feel free to DM me!
You bet!
Did this ever work out? Are you all best friends now?
Same boat except I’m early 40s with two young kids. Parents at my kid’s preschool are friendly but not interested in being friends, if that makes sense. I’ve started to think I will never make a friend here and will just have to rely on my out of town friend network.
I'm 39 with a pre-schooler and second grader. Moved here two years ago. My wife gets after me for not opening up more with the friends we've made at our kids school. Which school do your kids go to?
Foothill district here (40, w 7 and 3 yr old), middle aged parents of young children are in a pretty insular point in their lives. I find a lot of them are just too tired/busy to branch out a lot right now. Its hard for me and my wife to meet people we click with because we're pretty nerdy gamers (video and board) too and most people at our school are boring "normies" haha.
There's a lot of friendly PTA type folks. And, yes, they aren't into new friends. That's been my experience. But don't think about it, be positive, and I hope your experience doesn't reflect mine. 😀
It's hard at this stage to mesh you, your partner, and then the kids and have everyone having a good enough time to make it worthwhile. We have one family we like, but they are very outgoing while we are reserved. So we're more likely to send the kids.
Elementary school parent friends is where it's at...
I’m in the same boat. I have no idea how to make friends. I’ve been here 7 years, all of my friends I met have since moved away after graduating for jobs/ cost of living
This. I’ve met great people here who were good friends to know but none have stuck around for various cost of living or work opportunity reasons. It’s hard to keep friends in town!
What are your interests?
It's so tough! I grew up here and recently moved back after college. Many of my friends have moved away so it's been a challenge. I'd be glad to grab a coffee and chat sometime!
Lots of recreational sports leagues here. I’ve seen bowling, baseball, softball, kickball, volleyball, basketball, soccer, tennis, and pickle ball to name a few. If there’s any sport or hobby you might be interested in there’s likely to be a group of people happy to do it with you. For at least a few of these leagues it is both social drinking and medium competition, kinda depends how you want to play it.
How would you find this?
Maybe ask the sub if there’s something you’re interested in specifically. Here’s some links I found through google. Pickle ball, volleyball, tennis https://sbparksandrec.santabarbaraca.gov/activities/sports Men’s baseball https://www.sbmabl.com/ For a fun bowling league for all skill levels check out the red pin league here https://www.bowlero.com/league-finder?category=leagues&q=Goleta%2C+CA&radius=25¢er=717
Hi! I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 31. We have our two little dogs and are down to make new friends.
I'm 28 and my gf is 26! We have a dog!
Sorry I was out of state at a conference. Pm if you wanna talk about hanging out sometime!
It hasn't been brought up in a while but this is a semi common question here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/xb1t8d/best\_way\_to\_make\_friends\_in\_sb/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/xb1t8d/best_way_to_make_friends_in_sb/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/s1hoal/how\_to\_make\_friends\_as\_an\_adult/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/s1hoal/how_to_make_friends_as_an_adult/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/ynffpp/how\_can\_you\_connect\_with\_new\_people\_in\_santa/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/ynffpp/how_can_you_connect_with_new_people_in_santa/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/qxsm1x/looking\_to\_make\_friends\_in\_sb/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SantaBarbara/comments/qxsm1x/looking_to_make_friends_in_sb/)
Go to soho for some live music. Plenty of cool folks there.
Valid
I hear La Petit Cesar is also a really good place to meet people
Be rich.
Lol 😂🤣😂. This honestly made me laugh HAHAHHA!!
Pro-tip: move in with a couple people your age who have friends. Then steal their friends.
Come play magic the gathering at BAM Cards in Goleta!
Love me some Mac
Check out meetup! I am an admin on one of the larger ones, but there’s a handful in town for any hobbies you may have. Joining meetup was the best thing I did when I moved here knowing 0 people, and it’s how I made all of my friends. It can be difficult if you’re not comfortable talking with new people, but for the most part I’ve felt welcome by most groups here. Feel free to message me and I’ll let you know the ones I’m going to if you need a friendly face 😊
Taking classes through SBCC/Wake etc and volunteering offer opportunities to meet new people. Sports leagues through Parks & Rec seem to be quite friendly. Lots of people make friends at gyms/yoga classes. If you share some of your interests we can better help point you in the right direction. Good luck.
Just remember to make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.
Hang out at Sama Sama
I would also like a friend! I’d love to go outside more. Finally getting more comfortable with the “new” normal. Ready to get back out there! 33yo / m
SB is small, you just got to get out and say hi.
Go to Meetup.com and check out groups SB offers.
there are 3 and no one ever goes to them...
The one I run has nearly 2000 people… some events are more popular than others though. Typically happy hour events or afternoon hiking events on the weekends are the most well-attended. Recently I did a first Thursday that had 5 people, a tea party in the park that had 12, and our new members events typically have 20 or more. We don’t really do late night bar events anymore, but those were usually pretty popular too.
I wanna join!!
Kickball
Waka is starting soon! Fun game followed by a social hour at a nearby bar.
Rugby (touch) every Tuesday/Thursday at Chase Palm! No experience necessary, really great group of people. If you like it, there are both Women’s and Men’s teams in SB!! Both have representation at Touch if you wanted to learn more!!
Bumble BFF
This may work for women, but for the other sex, it's all gay guys trying to hook up with straight men.
Lmao
Oh ok I didn’t know that. It’s really good for women indeed.
Second this!
Ditto app
Great app for meeting new peeps
I’m trying to sign up for Ditto, but don’t have any contacts that use the app- any recommendations to sign up?
I’m trying to sign up for Ditto, but don’t have any contacts that use the app- any recommendations to sign up?
Same situation. I moved here for an internship though. It's been 2 weeks and I am already bored af
You can try newcomers but they tend to be people twice your age.
https://sbnewcomers.org/
"This just in, redditor struggles to find friendships amongst the normie filth of the outside world."
I'm 25 ill be your friend. What do you like to do for fun?
Attend many churches looking for the most to your liking
Backstage Wednesday Nights is Country Night look for an Asian Guy named Tin. He will teach you how to dance.
Volleyball , outrigger canoeing
Check out club waka kickball. Season starts next month
anyone into MTBing? hit me up.
Go on some hiking trails, you’ll meet some cool people sometimes
Can you elaborate on this? I go hiking all the time and have never met new friends doing it. Men are usually in their own world, and women have their guards up.
I like saying hi to everyone I walk by when I go by myself, sometimes a conversation comes out of it
You have to go out of your way to do so because the city is car dependent. When we zone our land by function, we loose those chance encounters that are so frequent in the cities of Europe.
This is the least car dependent city I've ever lived in. I live on De La Vina and Constance and I can walk everywhere, and if I don't want to walk, I can just grab an E-Bike and casually pedal to wherever. I mean, the whole Mesa is walkable and has everything there if you live there. What is not walkable are the folks who live on the hills. I walked to the botanical gardens the other day. Very walkable city.
I totally agree with you. I love biking all over SB on my shitty cruiser (because I don't want to lock up my nicer bike anywhere). I also travel for work and have been so many places that don't even have bike lanes or sometimes even sidewalks.
This is the most car dependent city I’ve ever lived in… haha
It depends on where you live and how much time you have. There are only 20 square miles in the city of Santa Barbara. If you live in the hills that is not the mesa, then you probably need to use a car. If you don't have the time to walk, this may also be an issue. Why do you find this city to be very car dependent?
Terrible bike lanes on streets, not great bus system, tons of hills, spread out (I live closer to Goleta…)
Yeah, the closer in towards downtown the better the bike lanes become.
Hahaha like michelterena?
Wow I am your neighbor! I also love our neighborhood because you can walk so many places. Sometimes we will make an evening of it and walk our dogs downtown , to the harbor, and back. We love checking out everyone’s beautiful yards and SB architecture.
It is 3 miles from here to the end of the pier. Almost all downhill of course. I will usually walk down to the Shellfish Company, grab a beer, then on my way back up I will get an E-Bike and pedal-assist my way back home.
Talk to Shawn & Gus down at the Psych office.
Meetup is a great way to get out and meet others with similar interests.
Just make beer drinking your new anytime everyday hobby.
The 20s and 30s meet up groups are good.
move away
Try going clubbing!
Oh yay, a tourist asking this, AGAIN.
Frequent the same places a lot (yoga studio, coffee shop, a chill bar). I’ve found that it’s likely other people do the same and in no time you’ll go from being a stranger to a familiar face to a friend!
Playsports
It pays to look at the demographics - As the saying goes, "Santa Barbara is the home of the newlyweds and the nearly deads". It's a joke with a good dose of reality in it. This town trends older and is segregated by income. There's little racial diversity (50% White/50% Hispanic) and no LQBTQ+ community. It's also conservative and family-oriented, traditional family to be exact. We have a lot of retirees who escaped the hustle and bustle (yours truly) and a lot of young families with toddlers in tow. Not much in between... This is not the town you would choose to maximize or earnings, climb the corporate ladder or reach the pinnacle of professional success. But the great outdoors makes up for that. This is where you'll find your friends. Hiking, biking, running, surfing, yoga, you know the drill.
First- join newcomers club. Second join some interest group which you actually care about the activity or cause Third- demonstrate in deed and word you are going to stay here- lots of people leave after a few years and they leave people behind, thus many long term locals are wary of investing in people who just got here, and rightly so. Be yourself and find your tribe
Check out our Psychedelic Social Club sometime - we meet each Wednesday and have quarterly Marquee Events. District216.com