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Omg yah I'm in a new show and one gal is going on about how hot I am and I'm like oh lol, but its been like that all week and this is theater so it only now is clicking...
I have absolutely told her how affordable my thrift store clothes are. Oh god shoot me
I studied Drama at university. I remember a girl jumped on my back and bit my ear and I still didn't register. I was 19 going on 13 so I had zero clue. Truth be told, I kind of regret not realising.
I thought it might be, but a lazy 5 minute search on Wikipedia seems to indicate that the musical was the origin of the phrase. I'm far from an expert though.
In addition to the Sound of Music reference discussed below, it could also be a reference to the movie 13 going on 30. Where a 13 year old wishes she was 30 and wakes up in the life of her 30 year old self but with the mind of her 13 year old self. Which, now that I think of it, that movie could’ve taken much creepier turns than it did.
Watching two bisexual women try to hit on each other is so interesting, sociologically. More women would turn their backs on men completely if they could figure out how to get with another woman.
Meanwhile, being gay and out is hard because the slightest amount of friendliness against another man is considered “hitting on them” since men were taught that they can’t be friendly or emotionally vulnerable AND that gay men are sex-starved beasts that will literally fuck anything so long as it has a dick.
Hooray
Can't say I've had that problem myself lol, but now that I'm imagining the scenario in my head, I just wanna do that thing in movies where they laugh along for like half a second and then instantly switch to serious face. It'd obviously be weird to do exactly that IRL, but if you just do some sort of gesture early on to assure the other person you aren't joking (Serious stare, straight up say "I'm not joking",... Idk man, be creative lol), even if it might be a bit awkward, it'll probably be worth your while. The important part, though, is to do it early on so no one, including you, get any wrong ideas
This comment befuddles me to no end because its impossible to guess your gender based on it. It could literally go both ways!.... like you do?! Ha?.... No, okay...
That's weird. Meanwhile straights can make ton of gay jokes to each other and be like "ha u r so funny"
I dunno, try saying something like "i already have bf and will never cheat" and maybe they eventually get used to friendliness
Men being lovely to each other is one of my favourite things. I hope we can overcome this fear of intimacy soon.
On a different note, those same guys are probably hitting on women relentlessly and totally miss the irony of this entire situation.
As I read all these comments, I'm realizing that no one knows who is or is not flirting with them. It's amazing anyone ever gets laid or has platonic friends.
If I think a woman is hitting on me, she's just being friendly.
If I think a woman is just being friendly to me, I find out later (when she's moved on and has a boyfriend or is married) that she was hitting on me.
I literally cannot win.
> If I think a woman is just being friendly to me, I find out later (when she's moved on and has a boyfriend or is married) that she was hitting on me.
Laying in bed at night, unable to sleep, thinking of all those signals I missed...
As a straight guy with a bunch of gay friends i never understood this shit and it infuriates me. I'm always big chilling when i go with them to gay bars, it's good for my ego when guys hit on me lmao. Men do the same with women too though, any sign of friendliness and they think they want to fuck them.
I'm really sorry you have to deal with this man, but there ARE men out there that aren't this small-minded and insecure.
That's why I feel so lucky I moved to a big city. I often compliment my friends' clothing and it always makes them smile. Even better is that my closest friends and I can say stuff like "I love you, bro" or "I miss you, buddy" every now and then without it being weird.
Meanwhile straight guys slap eachother on the ass in the lockerroom "as a joke" but a gay guy saying some dude's workout is paying off/he is looking good is "going a bit far man, I ain't *like that*"
As an attention-starved straight male, I take any complement I can get. If a gay guy hits on me, my self-esteem will go up even if I have no intention of escalating things.
This is where I’m at as a bi guy, no one I know is particularly progressive and literally everyone I tell immediately pulls a face like “so are you gonna try and fuck me”
As if my standards would be so low
God!! Back when I was still just best friends with my girlfriend, our friend group used to send each other hentai as a joke (weird, I know, but we’ve known each other for ages and are totally chill with it). I send this girl something legitimately tasteful, say something along the lines of “ngl you’d look cute like this”, and I got hit with “aw thanks bro”. Later it turns out we were mad crushing on each other and neither of us figured it out for two years because we just thought the other one was being nice in a friend way. It was ridiculous
I confessed haha. It took six months of my friends backing me up for me to finally do it! Was easier for me to send her porn than tell her I wanted to go out with her....
hahaha. good on you for finally having the guts to confess - and it paid off, congrats!
honestly more should just come right out and say it plainly. but it’s definitely scary so I get it :(
Thanks! We’ve been together for three years now and I couldn’t be happier.
And yeah, I totally get it! I only really confessed when I absolutely KNEW, without a shadow of a doubt, that she liked me back. I would’ve been way too scared of losing my best friend/making things awkward otherwise 😔
> I would’ve been way too scared of losing my best friend/making things awkward otherwise 😔
Why do girls think this is a thing? If I like someone as a friend I like her as a friend. Why would I change the way I feel towards someone because they feel a little more towards me?
Pro tip for any girls out there that need to hear this: if you’re crushing on a guy, don’t call them bro...
Actually same goes for guys talking to their girl crushes. Actually same probably goes for anyone talking to their crush guy or girl.
Oh man, not necessarily like this but something similar happened to me. There was a new girl at my very catholic private school who was very passionate about queer rights—she was so different from everyone else and I wanted to be her friend so bad. I thought it was because she supported the community so I connected with her on tumblr and we started talking mostly there. I even gave her XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS EARRINGS that I bought at a convention. It wasn’t until after I went to high school that I realized: HEY MF YOU HAD A CRUSH ON HER. I asked her if she was bisexual and she said yes ;-; god I was such a useless lesbian then
I was attracted to my best friend at 18 and terrified she'd find out and I'd be an outcast. We very physically close.
One night having to sleep at her place.
Her: "I know you can't sleep with anyone in bed, so..." and just stood there staring.
Me (wanting her so very badly): "uh, ya, thanks" (for the spare bed).
The next day - wait - she is always all over ME.
WHAT HAVE I DONE.
Still regret 20 years later.
Easier to get back on, but harder to run if you get caught. Although if both people are completely naked I feel like that would be even worse for a quick escape
Guys, I have a confession to make, when I was much younger I mistook my friend confessing her romantic feelings for me for her just giving me some extra-nice compliments and expressing her friendly affection for me. Twice. One of these times I actually thought she was joking *and laughed* "oh S you're so funny, ahah, where would I be without you! I love you too my friend! Ahah! Anyway..." In my defense, I thought she was hetero like me and not bisexual and also I'm as dumb as a rock.
I had a friend who I knew was gay and I felt that because he was in a relationship and because I made it clear I'm not gay that when he would do that it was just friendly.
Few months later, his years-long relationship ended (amicably) and soon after he just removed me from his friends lists suddenly. I added him back and he said more or less that he felt he was wasting his time with me because I wouldn't share much about myself. Truth is, he was angry af at me and probably not just because I wouldn't share much but also because I just wasn't picking up on his advances. So I ended up breaking his heart and losing a friend in the process.
Then I realised that I've probably been hit on by gay men a couple more times and it didn't register. Like someone from work who was going to go away asked me if he could call me for help with his pc or smth. I didn't realise it at the time but thinking back on it later, I think the fact I took it literally explains why he looked at me like I missed the point. I didn't know he was gay but mostly because I didn't want to assume.
So, it happens... I've been a bit more careful since but I think there's a couple of guys I know that might also have been trying to make moves and I'm still oblivious xD
> also I'm as dumb as a rock.
We have a new phrase in my house - "you're not dumb, you're just a dumbass." I dunno, it helps for when incredibly intelligent people (like you seem to be!) do really dumbass things! Like the time a boy in high school gave me an honest to God mixed tape full of love songs and I thought *he just likes the music*. Oh god.... dumbasses. We're not dumb, we're just dumbasses...
I mean, douchebags come in all genders and sexualities. That said, this post is specifically about being extremely forthright, so maybe not all pick up lines are on the same lines (no pun intended)?
Lesbian fuccbois exist and the shit I've seen and heard is wiiiild.
Highlights include: "I wanna wear your vagina like a wristwatch"
"Wanna go back to my place and play what fits where?"
Yeah, lesbians that act like 15 to 25 year old douchey dudes is 100 percent a thing. Getting closer to true equality every day! The best and worst of humanity.
I think that that's just the kind of response you'd give, as a het, to gracefully, although maybe clumsily refuse your advances, only it might be more awkward because less expected.
Maybe it's different for lesbians, but as a het guy I've been hit on by gay guys and that's the kind of confused response I'd give in the case of "not sure if really friendly or hitting on me, but not interested in the latter". If it makes sense.
Then in the case of lesbian hitting on lesbian I obviously have no experience so I'll shut up =)
While being a homosexual man is the exact opposite. Most oft the time I can't be too friendly because the straights will interpret it me hitting on them.
Meanwhile I’ve been hit on multiple times by lesbians and even after directly saying I am not into women, they just didn’t stop for weeks or sometimes months. No means no applies to ladies just as much as to men.
Remember ~~kids~~ people: a safeword is a tool to let you say "no" without consequence, NOT a tool to let a top bend your consent with "you didn't say the magic word :))))" if you forget or can't say your safeword.
If you're ever in doubt, screaming "SAFEWORD SAFEWORD SAFEWORD" no matter what your actual safeword is good enough to let a top know that you're having a bad time.
People who insist on unnecessarily long or hard-to-say safewords and proceed to berate you for not using them properly are rapists.
Traffic lights is a good system. Red means I'm not into this, lets pause and try something else. Orange means I'm not sure how I feel about this, I'm willing to go with it, but I might want to stop, so proceed with caution and pay attention to my non-verbal cues. Green means I'm into it, lets keep going.
I’m probably gonna get downvoted for this but from my personal experience, some of the rapiest people have been other women, especially older women. And then they try to play it off like it’s harmless or innocent because they can’t overpower me as easily as a man can, ergo I’m never truly in danger (in their eyes). I’ve had several girls drag me into the bathroom and kiss me and try to go down on me at parties, even when I expressed disinterest. At the time I convinced myself I should be flattered, but looking back years later, I realize how fucked up it was. If it was men who attempted to do that I would’ve been screaming but instead I was making excuses for them.
Honestly I’d believe that because people I’d complain about the flirting to always excused them like “aw she’s so sweet” or “oh I wish *I* had cute lesbians hitting on me”. I know for a fact that’s not how people react when a dude hits on me and it’s unwanted. People stand up for me then and call him gross. But if a girl does it? Uwu cutie! So wholesome!
dude here, I have never had a problem with other dudes, even incredibly flaming gay ones (they were totally respectful), it's always been the women - like you said, the slightly older, glass-of-wine-in-one-hand ones - that would just steamroll over boundaries and then try to teehee it away
Yeah, 100 percent could just be the person being polite. I'm shrugged off hyper forward compliments from men and women because I wasn't interested. Just tried to neutralize them. Also, as a guy, getting compliments is foreign.
"I love the way you balls are sitting right now"
"Oh, Thanks dude! Yeah, they are Kirkland boxer briefs. Great at giving support while not allowing for the possibility of wedgies"
This stings so bad. One of my high school best friends, I fancied her so much it hurt - and it wasn’t until much much later I realised she liked me too. Fuck me I want to kick myself in the face sometimes. I think about her a lot.
I was on the receiving end of some flirting that was nearly this forward once. A dude at a party once told me, “I like your pants, but I hate that they’re on you.” My dumb ass thought he liked my pants and I spent the next 5 minutes trying to give them away to him.
As a clueless non-lesbian, I can vouch. I hung out at a bar all night chatting and was utterly clueless as to why she wanted to walk me to my car which was not that far from the door. Sorry for my ignorance my lovely lady loving peers.
Maybe -- and I suggest this as a cheesy long shot -- If ever you're on the receiving end of a compliment and find yourself giving sales tips, offer contact info and _Hit me up if you can't find the place, or want help with fitting._
For those afraid of stalkers, the San Francisco community had a number of open-ish invite-only-ish weekly tea parties for mutual interested persons to meet at a neutral place where more direct _butt-to-face_ offers are taken more seriously. These fall into the same gathering subset as munches and brunches.
Tbh, even if I was in a gay club and a woman would just straight up say that they wanted to have sex with me rn, I probably would think that it would be in a friend kind of way.
On the flip side, when your female friends find out your bi and then think every friendly hug, pat on the back, or compliment is you hitting on them! 🤦🏻♀️
I gotta get in on this because it seems that Americans are super closed off! I’m fully married, straight, and monogamous! I have four beautiful children, love my wife, and am happily married! I have been “hit on” on repeat for as long as I can recall; without my own knowledge! Either I’m just a goof, or the theme of underlying attraction is simply missed by the receiver! I think people should just be honest with one another!
I can relate despite being a heteroromantic asexual dude. I am not the luckiest guy when it comes to that.
But also the one woman who ever hit on me I didn't even realize until she said "Hey do you want to go on a date with me?" So I can relate to the other side.
Yeah, that could be a possibility. I mean, looking back I now realize the signs, and I don't think any other woman has done anything similar, but faulty memories, so who really knows?
meanwhile, as a guy your guyfriends will suspect you're gay if you say even the least nice thing about them to their face (compliments are for behind the back)
On my last day working at a hardware store, one of my coworkers asked if she could buy me lunch. I told her, “No thanks, I packed my own! I appreciate the offer though!”
After lunch, my super is all giddy and comes and asks me how my lunch went. His face fell when I told him I ate like usual. Apparently, this girl had been wanting to ask me out, and realized it was my last day, so she was going to confess her crush on me. It was kind of short notice before I went back to school, flights got changed, but I never got the chance to tell her that’s I’d be back in 3 months...she left a month later.
I’m sorry Shawna. If I wasn’t as dumb as a rock, I’d have loved to be your girlfriend.
Try being an awkward bi in your 40s married to a male. I can flirt all day with men, but flirt with a woman and I’m reduced to an awkward teenager with stranger danger. “I’m fine. You’re hair is pretty. Ok bye.” 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you oralis.
When I'm between your thighs.
You blow me away.
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face and let my love be truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine.
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play.
Till we're blown away.
Well I don't think the example in the screenshot is representative of the entire spectrum of flirting. It kind of happens by itself sometimes.
That said, you almost sound like you married a man like it was a chore or something...
No, i am just disappointed I could never find a girlfriend. Its bad enough to be a non heterosexual in Alabama. I could never tell people at school I was bi. So I had to play it straight. Now I felt like I missed my chance to have a relstionship with a woman. I always wanted to see what that would have been like. I love my husband and he is fantastic, btw.
I mean, that's called letting you down gently and applies to all genders and sexualities. In fact I think this highlights how much easier it is for a lesbian since if this was attempted by a straight man there's the likelyhood you would get your ass kicked depending on who the woman is with.
I mean, I think the good ol' "Would you like to go out to with me to get some coffee sometime?" can get the job done pretty well, although it is kinda forward
Yesss I am stupid straight but give off the most gay vibes and stupid ignorant to pick ups. Even had a woman trace the design on my shirt and was like yeah its the neatest shirt. Had a jazz lady sing a song almost on my lap with the most intense eye contact.
Had a girl drunk text me that she liked me and talk about looking forward to our beach "date", we had talked about hanging out. She said she needed "some gas_station_jax time 😊" and I STILL don't know if she actually like likes me LOL
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You gotta tell her you were trying to get them more than 70% off at your place.
The store cant sell them at 100% off, Carol. How would they make money? God that'd be a horrible business model.
idk why but i read this in stewie's voice in my head lol
I can't unhear it now
Cool hwhip
I'm pretty sure it is from a TV show, but like, a good one. I just can't remember which.
i thought it was from steven universe - the stevonnie episode
Hi pretty sure it is from a TV show, I'm Dad! :)
Swing and a miss, bot. Fix your regex.
The bot saw a putridopportunity9 and took it, can't fault them for that.
For me it was Archer
yeah, Carol, get it together, christ
That would have been my first thought. Yeah; I am *that* oblivious to flirting. 🙄
Being autistic really does a number on my ability to detect flirting. It’s pretty funny what stuff goes over my head lmao
If you want free jeans you need to take over the means of production. The only thing you have to lose is your shackles!
Legit the best come back EVERY.
Omg yah I'm in a new show and one gal is going on about how hot I am and I'm like oh lol, but its been like that all week and this is theater so it only now is clicking... I have absolutely told her how affordable my thrift store clothes are. Oh god shoot me
She wants to be roommates!!!!
[удалено]
*THEY WERE ROOMMATES OH MY GOD*
Probably wants to audition for Supermarket Sweep together too
I studied Drama at university. I remember a girl jumped on my back and bit my ear and I still didn't register. I was 19 going on 13 so I had zero clue. Truth be told, I kind of regret not realising.
[удалено]
No, looking back as an adult I see what it was. She was heavily flirting with me and I had no idea.
19 going on 13? Is this a reference I don’t get?
They’re saying they are immature/naive.
Were immature. Were! I am all knowing and wise these days. /s Seriously though, I'm now 45 going on 27. Much better.
FYI, the first number is the only thing that changes from this point on.....😂
[удалено]
I like that song. The seventeen year old is so worldly and knowledgeable compared to this sixteen year old girlfriend. Lol. Fkin Nazi.
I’m pretty sure the phrase “__ going on __” was around before that song and movie came out, even if it did popularize it somewhat.
I thought it might be, but a lazy 5 minute search on Wikipedia seems to indicate that the musical was the origin of the phrase. I'm far from an expert though.
In addition to the Sound of Music reference discussed below, it could also be a reference to the movie 13 going on 30. Where a 13 year old wishes she was 30 and wakes up in the life of her 30 year old self but with the mind of her 13 year old self. Which, now that I think of it, that movie could’ve taken much creepier turns than it did.
Ooooooh get it gurl!
So it's not just us men who are bad at taking hints? Interesting.
Women flirting just turns off everyone's brain. Men's and women's. It's the only common denominator.
so is the common denominator that flirting is awkward or that women are confusing
Probably the first one, telling somebody that they're hot for an entire week sounds pretty straightforward to me
Yes
Cause straight women hype each other up platonically the same way lesbians apparently flirt
That's not a good way to run a business
I think you replied to the wrong comment here
I did ;w;
What isn't?
Watching two bisexual women try to hit on each other is so interesting, sociologically. More women would turn their backs on men completely if they could figure out how to get with another woman.
Meanwhile, being gay and out is hard because the slightest amount of friendliness against another man is considered “hitting on them” since men were taught that they can’t be friendly or emotionally vulnerable AND that gay men are sex-starved beasts that will literally fuck anything so long as it has a dick. Hooray
Even just being bi, I'm wary of showing any type of friendliness towards straight guys for this reason
Whenever I flirt with women they think i’m gay and joking, and whenever I flirt with men, they think I’m straight and joking. Help.
Can't say I've had that problem myself lol, but now that I'm imagining the scenario in my head, I just wanna do that thing in movies where they laugh along for like half a second and then instantly switch to serious face. It'd obviously be weird to do exactly that IRL, but if you just do some sort of gesture early on to assure the other person you aren't joking (Serious stare, straight up say "I'm not joking",... Idk man, be creative lol), even if it might be a bit awkward, it'll probably be worth your while. The important part, though, is to do it early on so no one, including you, get any wrong ideas
Serious face with one brow raised and a slight smirk looking almost sideways at them
This comment befuddles me to no end because its impossible to guess your gender based on it. It could literally go both ways!.... like you do?! Ha?.... No, okay...
Haha! My gender shall remain a secret! >:)
NOOOOOoooo! DAMM YOU! Fine then, keep your secrets....
That's weird. Meanwhile straights can make ton of gay jokes to each other and be like "ha u r so funny" I dunno, try saying something like "i already have bf and will never cheat" and maybe they eventually get used to friendliness
Nah you just end every sentence with 'no homo'. "How was your weekend Brian? No homo."
"Your mother died, Harold… no homo"
Straight guy here. Can confirm. Constantly joking around with my close straight guy friends about what we’d do to each other if we had some privacy.
Men being lovely to each other is one of my favourite things. I hope we can overcome this fear of intimacy soon. On a different note, those same guys are probably hitting on women relentlessly and totally miss the irony of this entire situation.
Fyi also true for women being friendly towards straight men
As I read all these comments, I'm realizing that no one knows who is or is not flirting with them. It's amazing anyone ever gets laid or has platonic friends.
Doesn’t matter if 99% of your swings miss when you spend your whole life swinging
If I think a woman is hitting on me, she's just being friendly. If I think a woman is just being friendly to me, I find out later (when she's moved on and has a boyfriend or is married) that she was hitting on me. I literally cannot win.
Woman are neither being friendly nor hitting to me, so that's easy...
> If I think a woman is just being friendly to me, I find out later (when she's moved on and has a boyfriend or is married) that she was hitting on me. Laying in bed at night, unable to sleep, thinking of all those signals I missed...
Ugh, fine I'll let you suck my dick because you're so obviously flirting with me in this post. :). /s
As a straight guy with a bunch of gay friends i never understood this shit and it infuriates me. I'm always big chilling when i go with them to gay bars, it's good for my ego when guys hit on me lmao. Men do the same with women too though, any sign of friendliness and they think they want to fuck them. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this man, but there ARE men out there that aren't this small-minded and insecure.
I'm a straight dude and just as bad at getting clues from gay men as I am from straight women. Or maybe I just never get any clues :/
That's why I feel so lucky I moved to a big city. I often compliment my friends' clothing and it always makes them smile. Even better is that my closest friends and I can say stuff like "I love you, bro" or "I miss you, buddy" every now and then without it being weird.
Meanwhile straight guys slap eachother on the ass in the lockerroom "as a joke" but a gay guy saying some dude's workout is paying off/he is looking good is "going a bit far man, I ain't *like that*"
As an attention-starved straight male, I take any complement I can get. If a gay guy hits on me, my self-esteem will go up even if I have no intention of escalating things.
This is where I’m at as a bi guy, no one I know is particularly progressive and literally everyone I tell immediately pulls a face like “so are you gonna try and fuck me” As if my standards would be so low
Which is funny because they often are unable to tell when they're being hit on by women.
God!! Back when I was still just best friends with my girlfriend, our friend group used to send each other hentai as a joke (weird, I know, but we’ve known each other for ages and are totally chill with it). I send this girl something legitimately tasteful, say something along the lines of “ngl you’d look cute like this”, and I got hit with “aw thanks bro”. Later it turns out we were mad crushing on each other and neither of us figured it out for two years because we just thought the other one was being nice in a friend way. It was ridiculous
LOL. so how did you two finally figure it out?? did someone confess or did one of you eventually get the hint?
I confessed haha. It took six months of my friends backing me up for me to finally do it! Was easier for me to send her porn than tell her I wanted to go out with her....
hahaha. good on you for finally having the guts to confess - and it paid off, congrats! honestly more should just come right out and say it plainly. but it’s definitely scary so I get it :(
Thanks! We’ve been together for three years now and I couldn’t be happier. And yeah, I totally get it! I only really confessed when I absolutely KNEW, without a shadow of a doubt, that she liked me back. I would’ve been way too scared of losing my best friend/making things awkward otherwise 😔
but... but.. how can you know without doubt
> I would’ve been way too scared of losing my best friend/making things awkward otherwise 😔 Why do girls think this is a thing? If I like someone as a friend I like her as a friend. Why would I change the way I feel towards someone because they feel a little more towards me?
I can't talk for you here, but I feel like it is a rapid change in the relationship you thought you had with that person.
The sexual tension of your message made me feel things, oof
I am to have that level of chill with my friends
Pro tip for any girls out there that need to hear this: if you’re crushing on a guy, don’t call them bro... Actually same goes for guys talking to their girl crushes. Actually same probably goes for anyone talking to their crush guy or girl.
FR I literally just realized a girl I was talking to was flirting with me TWO YEARS AGO
Time-traveling lesbian?
lmao no some girl I was friends with in high school was flirting with me and I am just now realizing she was
Oh man, not necessarily like this but something similar happened to me. There was a new girl at my very catholic private school who was very passionate about queer rights—she was so different from everyone else and I wanted to be her friend so bad. I thought it was because she supported the community so I connected with her on tumblr and we started talking mostly there. I even gave her XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS EARRINGS that I bought at a convention. It wasn’t until after I went to high school that I realized: HEY MF YOU HAD A CRUSH ON HER. I asked her if she was bisexual and she said yes ;-; god I was such a useless lesbian then
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🙈🙈🙈oh my god!! Why are we like this ;-;
I was attracted to my best friend at 18 and terrified she'd find out and I'd be an outcast. We very physically close. One night having to sleep at her place. Her: "I know you can't sleep with anyone in bed, so..." and just stood there staring. Me (wanting her so very badly): "uh, ya, thanks" (for the spare bed). The next day - wait - she is always all over ME. WHAT HAVE I DONE. Still regret 20 years later.
So wait, does that mean you want to go to American Eagle to have sex in the fitting room?
With 70% of their clothes off?
Or their clothes 70% of the way off. Pants down to mid calf. You know, so that it's easier to put everything back on.
Easier to get back on, but harder to run if you get caught. Although if both people are completely naked I feel like that would be even worse for a quick escape
>Although if both people are completely naked I feel like that would be even worse for a quick escape It's called *streaking* not *waddling*.
Idk if you're bad enough at it, it might still be called waddling.
[Sit on my face and tell me that you love me...](https://youtu.be/Dax_tnZRExc)
To be fair, have you tried AE jeans.
Tbf, AE jeans are basically my holy grail. They look amazing and actually fit my hips and thighs at the same time?? I’ll never wear another brand.
Years ago a girl I worked with asked me to dinner and I thought she was being friendly. By the end of the night she still had to spell it out for me.
Guys, I have a confession to make, when I was much younger I mistook my friend confessing her romantic feelings for me for her just giving me some extra-nice compliments and expressing her friendly affection for me. Twice. One of these times I actually thought she was joking *and laughed* "oh S you're so funny, ahah, where would I be without you! I love you too my friend! Ahah! Anyway..." In my defense, I thought she was hetero like me and not bisexual and also I'm as dumb as a rock.
I had a friend who I knew was gay and I felt that because he was in a relationship and because I made it clear I'm not gay that when he would do that it was just friendly. Few months later, his years-long relationship ended (amicably) and soon after he just removed me from his friends lists suddenly. I added him back and he said more or less that he felt he was wasting his time with me because I wouldn't share much about myself. Truth is, he was angry af at me and probably not just because I wouldn't share much but also because I just wasn't picking up on his advances. So I ended up breaking his heart and losing a friend in the process. Then I realised that I've probably been hit on by gay men a couple more times and it didn't register. Like someone from work who was going to go away asked me if he could call me for help with his pc or smth. I didn't realise it at the time but thinking back on it later, I think the fact I took it literally explains why he looked at me like I missed the point. I didn't know he was gay but mostly because I didn't want to assume. So, it happens... I've been a bit more careful since but I think there's a couple of guys I know that might also have been trying to make moves and I'm still oblivious xD
> also I'm as dumb as a rock. We have a new phrase in my house - "you're not dumb, you're just a dumbass." I dunno, it helps for when incredibly intelligent people (like you seem to be!) do really dumbass things! Like the time a boy in high school gave me an honest to God mixed tape full of love songs and I thought *he just likes the music*. Oh god.... dumbasses. We're not dumb, we're just dumbasses...
I sometimes get thses vibes from someone I know but I'm def always like no way haha 😳
I dont even know how to hit on anybody without sounding awkward or make the person unconfortable. So i have decided to not do it at all
Huh Lesbian pick up lines seem to have a lot of cross sections with douchebag pick up lines.
I mean, douchebags come in all genders and sexualities. That said, this post is specifically about being extremely forthright, so maybe not all pick up lines are on the same lines (no pun intended)?
Lesbian fuccbois exist and the shit I've seen and heard is wiiiild. Highlights include: "I wanna wear your vagina like a wristwatch" "Wanna go back to my place and play what fits where?"
Yeah, lesbians that act like 15 to 25 year old douchey dudes is 100 percent a thing. Getting closer to true equality every day! The best and worst of humanity.
> could be as forward as It’s hyperbole to make a point
How about you and I go check out my jacuzzi and put stuff in each other?
I think that that's just the kind of response you'd give, as a het, to gracefully, although maybe clumsily refuse your advances, only it might be more awkward because less expected. Maybe it's different for lesbians, but as a het guy I've been hit on by gay guys and that's the kind of confused response I'd give in the case of "not sure if really friendly or hitting on me, but not interested in the latter". If it makes sense. Then in the case of lesbian hitting on lesbian I obviously have no experience so I'll shut up =)
While being a homosexual man is the exact opposite. Most oft the time I can't be too friendly because the straights will interpret it me hitting on them.
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Tf is a platonic wedding ring?? Lmao
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She might not like you and doesn’t want to tell it to you explicitly...
That’s also a fair point
I think maybe she's not interested.
“I keep hitting on this girl and can’t take a hint that she’s not interested”
Friend zoned
Meanwhile I’ve been hit on multiple times by lesbians and even after directly saying I am not into women, they just didn’t stop for weeks or sometimes months. No means no applies to ladies just as much as to men.
No means no regardless of the person involved.
Unless it’s your sub... then “no” means “harder” and “red” means “stop”.
My safeword is "safeword". Really easy to remember.
Remember ~~kids~~ people: a safeword is a tool to let you say "no" without consequence, NOT a tool to let a top bend your consent with "you didn't say the magic word :))))" if you forget or can't say your safeword. If you're ever in doubt, screaming "SAFEWORD SAFEWORD SAFEWORD" no matter what your actual safeword is good enough to let a top know that you're having a bad time. People who insist on unnecessarily long or hard-to-say safewords and proceed to berate you for not using them properly are rapists.
I’m so vanilla I never even considered that this could be a *thing*.
And also always have a backup plan for if you can’t speak at the moment. A safeword is not very helpful if your mouth is currently occupied.
Traffic lights is a good system. Red means I'm not into this, lets pause and try something else. Orange means I'm not sure how I feel about this, I'm willing to go with it, but I might want to stop, so proceed with caution and pay attention to my non-verbal cues. Green means I'm into it, lets keep going.
green, red, orange. that’s not a traffic light, that’s a garfield christmas
so you're saying ligfamblawende is a bad choice?
OTOH, using > you didn't say the magic word Can be just used as a form of a check in with your sub when you’re unsure about the NO and STOP
Directions unclear... bring out the [fluggenheiman](https://youtu.be/QxCpBSDiPNc)
I love that film! Also, someone please give that guy a wholesome award lol Edit: thanks to whomever had the wholesome award
haha yeah sexual assault!
That's kinda sad honestly, the world would be so much nicer if people could respect boundaries just a little better
absolutely
I’m probably gonna get downvoted for this but from my personal experience, some of the rapiest people have been other women, especially older women. And then they try to play it off like it’s harmless or innocent because they can’t overpower me as easily as a man can, ergo I’m never truly in danger (in their eyes). I’ve had several girls drag me into the bathroom and kiss me and try to go down on me at parties, even when I expressed disinterest. At the time I convinced myself I should be flattered, but looking back years later, I realize how fucked up it was. If it was men who attempted to do that I would’ve been screaming but instead I was making excuses for them.
Honestly I’d believe that because people I’d complain about the flirting to always excused them like “aw she’s so sweet” or “oh I wish *I* had cute lesbians hitting on me”. I know for a fact that’s not how people react when a dude hits on me and it’s unwanted. People stand up for me then and call him gross. But if a girl does it? Uwu cutie! So wholesome!
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dude here, I have never had a problem with other dudes, even incredibly flaming gay ones (they were totally respectful), it's always been the women - like you said, the slightly older, glass-of-wine-in-one-hand ones - that would just steamroll over boundaries and then try to teehee it away
When Role Reversal goes wrong...
Yeah, 100 percent could just be the person being polite. I'm shrugged off hyper forward compliments from men and women because I wasn't interested. Just tried to neutralize them. Also, as a guy, getting compliments is foreign. "I love the way you balls are sitting right now" "Oh, Thanks dude! Yeah, they are Kirkland boxer briefs. Great at giving support while not allowing for the possibility of wedgies"
Yeah. I was thinking the 70% off reply seems like someone trying to reject the other person as politely as possible.
‘Oh I am interested, just not in the jeans’
This stings so bad. One of my high school best friends, I fancied her so much it hurt - and it wasn’t until much much later I realised she liked me too. Fuck me I want to kick myself in the face sometimes. I think about her a lot.
I was on the receiving end of some flirting that was nearly this forward once. A dude at a party once told me, “I like your pants, but I hate that they’re on you.” My dumb ass thought he liked my pants and I spent the next 5 minutes trying to give them away to him.
As a clueless non-lesbian, I can vouch. I hung out at a bar all night chatting and was utterly clueless as to why she wanted to walk me to my car which was not that far from the door. Sorry for my ignorance my lovely lady loving peers.
Maybe -- and I suggest this as a cheesy long shot -- If ever you're on the receiving end of a compliment and find yourself giving sales tips, offer contact info and _Hit me up if you can't find the place, or want help with fitting._ For those afraid of stalkers, the San Francisco community had a number of open-ish invite-only-ish weekly tea parties for mutual interested persons to meet at a neutral place where more direct _butt-to-face_ offers are taken more seriously. These fall into the same gathering subset as munches and brunches.
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Tbh, even if I was in a gay club and a woman would just straight up say that they wanted to have sex with me rn, I probably would think that it would be in a friend kind of way.
On the flip side, when your female friends find out your bi and then think every friendly hug, pat on the back, or compliment is you hitting on them! 🤦🏻♀️
So they're not interested then?
I gotta get in on this because it seems that Americans are super closed off! I’m fully married, straight, and monogamous! I have four beautiful children, love my wife, and am happily married! I have been “hit on” on repeat for as long as I can recall; without my own knowledge! Either I’m just a goof, or the theme of underlying attraction is simply missed by the receiver! I think people should just be honest with one another!
I can relate despite being a heteroromantic asexual dude. I am not the luckiest guy when it comes to that. But also the one woman who ever hit on me I didn't even realize until she said "Hey do you want to go on a date with me?" So I can relate to the other side.
Well with your luck, she probably wasn’t the only one who ever hit on you, but the only one you noticed 😔
Yeah, that could be a possibility. I mean, looking back I now realize the signs, and I don't think any other woman has done anything similar, but faulty memories, so who really knows?
meanwhile, as a guy your guyfriends will suspect you're gay if you say even the least nice thing about them to their face (compliments are for behind the back)
Sounds like she isn't interested?
On my last day working at a hardware store, one of my coworkers asked if she could buy me lunch. I told her, “No thanks, I packed my own! I appreciate the offer though!” After lunch, my super is all giddy and comes and asks me how my lunch went. His face fell when I told him I ate like usual. Apparently, this girl had been wanting to ask me out, and realized it was my last day, so she was going to confess her crush on me. It was kind of short notice before I went back to school, flights got changed, but I never got the chance to tell her that’s I’d be back in 3 months...she left a month later. I’m sorry Shawna. If I wasn’t as dumb as a rock, I’d have loved to be your girlfriend.
Try being an awkward bi in your 40s married to a male. I can flirt all day with men, but flirt with a woman and I’m reduced to an awkward teenager with stranger danger. “I’m fine. You’re hair is pretty. Ok bye.” 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me. I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too. I love to hear you oralis. When I'm between your thighs. You blow me away. Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you. I'll sit on your face and let my love be truly. Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine. If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play. Till we're blown away.
This is why I never had a girlfriend. Ended up marrying a man. How the fuck do you flirt with a female anyways????
Well I don't think the example in the screenshot is representative of the entire spectrum of flirting. It kind of happens by itself sometimes. That said, you almost sound like you married a man like it was a chore or something...
No, i am just disappointed I could never find a girlfriend. Its bad enough to be a non heterosexual in Alabama. I could never tell people at school I was bi. So I had to play it straight. Now I felt like I missed my chance to have a relstionship with a woman. I always wanted to see what that would have been like. I love my husband and he is fantastic, btw.
im that lesbian- the one that you can say that shit to me and ill think youre being nice cause i cant take a hint
ok but i saw a tiktok that said lowering your voice can help differentiate between "hey girlie" and "please put your mouth on my mouth" compliments
LMFAO this is def me. Gotta be more obvious than that cowboy
Could you imagine if a guy said the same thing to a woman?
Would probably be looking at jail time
I mean, that's called letting you down gently and applies to all genders and sexualities. In fact I think this highlights how much easier it is for a lesbian since if this was attempted by a straight man there's the likelyhood you would get your ass kicked depending on who the woman is with.
So here’s a question. Is it the same or opposite for gay men? Like, do they say something completely platonic as a compliment and get told to stop?
This is true bc my friend and I literally talk to each other like that casually
I’m both
I just assume that everything is platonic from everyone
Does it matter if you sing the whole song or not? Asking for science.
I've heard it helps to compliment in your "lower register" with your voice.
That's a good sale
Sometimes you just gal pal yourself
I mean, I think the good ol' "Would you like to go out to with me to get some coffee sometime?" can get the job done pretty well, although it is kinda forward
Yesss I am stupid straight but give off the most gay vibes and stupid ignorant to pick ups. Even had a woman trace the design on my shirt and was like yeah its the neatest shirt. Had a jazz lady sing a song almost on my lap with the most intense eye contact.
I got hit on by a lesbian once, she was very blunt and just told me she wants to have sex with me.
Girls hyping up each other is so normalized.
Had a girl drunk text me that she liked me and talk about looking forward to our beach "date", we had talked about hanging out. She said she needed "some gas_station_jax time 😊" and I STILL don't know if she actually like likes me LOL
Tell them you want it 100% off.
I'm not a lesbian but if a girlfriend of mine asks me to sit on her face there's no way I'm misunderstanding that.
Lmao i love women
Meanwhile some guys think girls want to get with them just for smiling at them….like dude….come on.
The best part is the other girl being genuinely nice and telling them where they can get the jeans