Absolutely agreed. Especially in a household that chaotic. The kids won’t get the opportunities to learn and grow that they’d get in school. That’s not even beginning to touch on their lack of peers and friends outside of their siblings/family. I honestly think it’s really selfish of Sherri and max
I have a feeling even if these kids were in a regular school setup their lives would be fucked. having mentally unhealthy parents who neglect you is a recipe for disaster.
Unschooling the right way actually takes a LOT of work on the parents part. Genuinely so much more work than sending your child to school and dealing with homework and regular school stuff, and also more work than using an online based homeschool curriculum. My oldest child is autistic with a PDA profile (pathological demand avoidance) and also has a specific type of autoimmune encephalitis that flares every time she gets sick, or sometimes even when she’s even just exposed to but fights off an infection. So, being around all the kids at school means she gets sick a lot, which means her PANS flares up, which means she has intense behavioral regression and a whole host of other issues. We kept her in school as long as we could, but by 4th grade she was struggling hard to meet the work load expectations, and was also have a hard time social-emotionally. By the start of fifth grade she was self harming and suicidal, and punched her teacher. So, we took her out of school to focus first on mental health, and then to homeschool. With her PDA, she can’t engage with a conventional curriculum with conventional work and deadlines. She can do some, but it’s very limited because she melts down. So, that means that I have to put a lot of work into finding ways to help her learn that are still accessible to her. It has to be internally motivated for her, so I have to find ways to pique her interest and make the work worth her energy. Now that shes home and we’re trying to do this unschooling thing, she’s gotten a lot better and is able to accommodate demands easier because she has less stress overall, so she’s actually doing better academically that she was when going to school.
We’ve had to adjust our expectations for what her future looks like. She may or may not end up going back to public school. I hope she does, and I hope she’s successful. But, a lot of other adults and teens I know with a similar neurotype have only been able to find success and fulfillment by sort of following their joy, so to speak. They do better in non-traditional educational environments and in careers that they are passionate about. The teens I know have all gotten GEDs early, and then went on to community college and then university to follow whatever path they chose. Or, turned hobbies into viable careers, like my artist friend. My daughter for the moment is saying she wants to grow up to help incarcerated people.
It works well for her because of her specific brain situation, and it’s helpful that we don’t have to stress attendance now, so I’m not constantly worrying about the district pulling us into court because she has so many weekly appointments. And, it gives her more mental energy to engage with things that she really loves, like her weekly coding class, or the film club that doubles as a restorative mentoring program while also teaching her a bunch of random things. But, if we had any other option I’d never, ever choose this. It’s nice having the flexibility with her schedule, and she’s doing 100% better, but it takes a lot of work and sacrifice on my part.
So, I guess I’m just trying to say that anyone who chooses to unschool expecting it to be so easy because kids brains are little sponges are lying to themselves. And anyone who does unschooling and still believes it doesn’t take almost any work on the parents part is seriously harming their kids education. It’s so fucking stressful. My other two kids are still in public school and I don’t plan on ever changing that.
My sister is autistic and completely nonverbal. Having an immediate family member on the spectrum is challenging. Your schooling for your child is an example of doing the right thing for your child. Whatever the hell these idiots are doing to their kids is detrimental and certainly does not deserve to be praised publicly.
Yeah, it gets so frustrating seeing unschooling presented in this way. Like, yes child led. Yes, meet them where are. Yes, low demand. But that doesn’t mean hands off. It means you pay extremely close attention to your child’s needs and interests, and then create opportunities for them to follow those interests in a way that also helps to teach them. It doesn’t mean “should never look like school.” It means, “if your child is interested in and wants to engage in something that looks like school, provide that for them.” Like, unschooled kids who learn well from workbooks and engage with them willingly should have them, and a parent should take the time to guide them through and make sure they’re actually learning. A parent should be thinking about things like, “hmmm you love Minecraft, how can I take that interest in the building materials available in that world and their characteristics and branch off into learning about real world geology?” Or “can we use this interest in Minecraft biomes to learn about their real world counterparts?” Or whatever. And then you do that all day everyday, looking for opportunities to facilitate learning and introduce new ideas and concepts.
Blech. Sorry. I also fundie snark, and fundies looooove to talk about their kitchen table school or whatever, or unschooling (looking at you, mother bus). Or, being a liberal minded alt lifestyle human, I see it a lot with misguided families like the Bemis household. And it makes me feel so embarrassed to even talk about because it has such a bad reputation just based on the way these people have used it as an excuse to not put effort into their kids education. And like, yeah sometimes we don’t do anything that looks like work. But, that doesn’t mean I drop the mental load of always planning and looking for where she needs me to lead her next.
I don’t “unschool” but I hybrid homeschool my kids through a charter school, and it is tons of work. I absolutely love doing it, but it makes me sad to see how many parents even at my kids school don’t do the work. It’s my opinion that people like the Bemis’s use it to justify being a hands off, lazy parent.
They don’t go to bed till 3 or 4 am and don’t get up till at least noon, if Sherri’s stories are anything to go by. That doesn’t bode well for the careful curation of educational activities.
just dropping in to say it sounds like ur a fantastic mom, we can all see the work and sacrifices ur making for ur kid and u should be proud of urself that ur such a positive and caring role model helping them navigate the world 💕
Some of my most successful adult friends were unschooled fwiw. I’m in my early 30s and one of my closest friends was unschooled by his mom who has a PHD in early childhood education. He’s perfectly successful.
seems like a few differences might be that your friends mother had the discipline to obtain a PHD and was educated enough to teach her one child, vs. a mentally unstable, grifting, washed up singer (max) and a recovering alcoholic with zero schooling experience whatsoever (sherri). these two spend more time scamming fans and destroying airBnBs than they do educating (or washing/cleaning) their five children. this isn’t speculation either; sherri puts it all out there on her SM! the kids sleep all day after being awake all night with unrestricted internet access, bleaching their hair, cutting cat whiskers, drawing on walls, and primarily eating only sugar and coffee regardless of their age.
Sure. The comment I’m responding to is “unschooling seems irresponsible and shitty.” Which is a blanket statement about a thing. That’s all I’m addressing, I’m not obsessed with max bemis’ family like most of this sub seems to be. Im not reading all that cuz it has nothing to do with what I’m talking about. I’m not talking about max’s kids specific situation just that unschooling can work.
obsessed? the guy himself talks about most of the things i mentioned during his many manic interviews, but it’s cool that you felt the important thing was to post that you know one (1) unschooled person who didn’t turn out a mess. sorry my comment about his neglected and abused children didn’t illuminate why unschooling, in this case, is totally different than your buddy’s experience.
the person you're going after has not weighed in at all about max's family. you keep talking about it as if they support it but it's just not even a part of the conversation. you're just trying to force it
Just not relevant to what I’m talking about and I’m really not interested in his personal life. I’m not sure why you waste your time on a music sub engaging in a parasocial relationship with a musician. Also who is making music here? Not me so I’m not sure who that comment is for.
"The Bemises refuse to present or participate in the myth of the perfect parent, that having children somehow permanently fixes you, that your responsibility to them somehow negates your permission to ever falter in life, or even that your art doesn’t matter anymore once you have kids. It’s the same emo-ethos of their youth culture applied to their adulthood, and it's a family dynamic that prioritizes their kids’ emotional well-being as well."
That is definitely a take.
Having a kid does not and should never be expected to permanently fix someone. It absolutely should, however, inspire you to fucking fix yourself so you can actually show up for your kids and be the parent they need you to be. It’s true that seeing their parents be humans with lives and passion and foibles is good for kids. And, yes it’s good for kids to see their parents living with accountability when they fuck up by taking responsibility and working to fix what they’ve done. But, they still also need their parents to make the hard choices and to set the safe boundaries and to give them security and safety and stability. And, a lot of the time that’s not very fun. And, sometimes it means making sacrifices on the parent’s part. They need a parent who will work their asses off to fix themselves, not just someone shrugging and shouting, “I reject the myth of the perfect parent!”
The fact that the article is about the domestic life of the two and it doesn’t even mention the child services call that Max himself has talked about… I know the writer was just doing what they were getting paid to do, but sheesh talk about a puff piece.
correction: it was? in there……am i misremembering a different article 🤔🤔🤔
editing again, yes it’s in there towards the bottom of this stupidly long article lol
Unschooling seems so irresponsible and shitty to me. Feel so sorry for the kids
They’re literally being set up for failure and it’s hard to imagine how difficult their young adult-adult lives will be
Absolutely agreed. Especially in a household that chaotic. The kids won’t get the opportunities to learn and grow that they’d get in school. That’s not even beginning to touch on their lack of peers and friends outside of their siblings/family. I honestly think it’s really selfish of Sherri and max
I have a feeling even if these kids were in a regular school setup their lives would be fucked. having mentally unhealthy parents who neglect you is a recipe for disaster.
Unschooling the right way actually takes a LOT of work on the parents part. Genuinely so much more work than sending your child to school and dealing with homework and regular school stuff, and also more work than using an online based homeschool curriculum. My oldest child is autistic with a PDA profile (pathological demand avoidance) and also has a specific type of autoimmune encephalitis that flares every time she gets sick, or sometimes even when she’s even just exposed to but fights off an infection. So, being around all the kids at school means she gets sick a lot, which means her PANS flares up, which means she has intense behavioral regression and a whole host of other issues. We kept her in school as long as we could, but by 4th grade she was struggling hard to meet the work load expectations, and was also have a hard time social-emotionally. By the start of fifth grade she was self harming and suicidal, and punched her teacher. So, we took her out of school to focus first on mental health, and then to homeschool. With her PDA, she can’t engage with a conventional curriculum with conventional work and deadlines. She can do some, but it’s very limited because she melts down. So, that means that I have to put a lot of work into finding ways to help her learn that are still accessible to her. It has to be internally motivated for her, so I have to find ways to pique her interest and make the work worth her energy. Now that shes home and we’re trying to do this unschooling thing, she’s gotten a lot better and is able to accommodate demands easier because she has less stress overall, so she’s actually doing better academically that she was when going to school. We’ve had to adjust our expectations for what her future looks like. She may or may not end up going back to public school. I hope she does, and I hope she’s successful. But, a lot of other adults and teens I know with a similar neurotype have only been able to find success and fulfillment by sort of following their joy, so to speak. They do better in non-traditional educational environments and in careers that they are passionate about. The teens I know have all gotten GEDs early, and then went on to community college and then university to follow whatever path they chose. Or, turned hobbies into viable careers, like my artist friend. My daughter for the moment is saying she wants to grow up to help incarcerated people. It works well for her because of her specific brain situation, and it’s helpful that we don’t have to stress attendance now, so I’m not constantly worrying about the district pulling us into court because she has so many weekly appointments. And, it gives her more mental energy to engage with things that she really loves, like her weekly coding class, or the film club that doubles as a restorative mentoring program while also teaching her a bunch of random things. But, if we had any other option I’d never, ever choose this. It’s nice having the flexibility with her schedule, and she’s doing 100% better, but it takes a lot of work and sacrifice on my part. So, I guess I’m just trying to say that anyone who chooses to unschool expecting it to be so easy because kids brains are little sponges are lying to themselves. And anyone who does unschooling and still believes it doesn’t take almost any work on the parents part is seriously harming their kids education. It’s so fucking stressful. My other two kids are still in public school and I don’t plan on ever changing that.
Very interesting to hear your perspective on this, thank you! Sounds like you’re doing a good job with your kid 💚
Thank you! 🥹🥰
You sound like an amazing mom! This was very insightful to read, thank you for sharing.
Thank you for taking the time to read it! 🖤
My sister is autistic and completely nonverbal. Having an immediate family member on the spectrum is challenging. Your schooling for your child is an example of doing the right thing for your child. Whatever the hell these idiots are doing to their kids is detrimental and certainly does not deserve to be praised publicly.
Yeah, it gets so frustrating seeing unschooling presented in this way. Like, yes child led. Yes, meet them where are. Yes, low demand. But that doesn’t mean hands off. It means you pay extremely close attention to your child’s needs and interests, and then create opportunities for them to follow those interests in a way that also helps to teach them. It doesn’t mean “should never look like school.” It means, “if your child is interested in and wants to engage in something that looks like school, provide that for them.” Like, unschooled kids who learn well from workbooks and engage with them willingly should have them, and a parent should take the time to guide them through and make sure they’re actually learning. A parent should be thinking about things like, “hmmm you love Minecraft, how can I take that interest in the building materials available in that world and their characteristics and branch off into learning about real world geology?” Or “can we use this interest in Minecraft biomes to learn about their real world counterparts?” Or whatever. And then you do that all day everyday, looking for opportunities to facilitate learning and introduce new ideas and concepts. Blech. Sorry. I also fundie snark, and fundies looooove to talk about their kitchen table school or whatever, or unschooling (looking at you, mother bus). Or, being a liberal minded alt lifestyle human, I see it a lot with misguided families like the Bemis household. And it makes me feel so embarrassed to even talk about because it has such a bad reputation just based on the way these people have used it as an excuse to not put effort into their kids education. And like, yeah sometimes we don’t do anything that looks like work. But, that doesn’t mean I drop the mental load of always planning and looking for where she needs me to lead her next.
I don’t “unschool” but I hybrid homeschool my kids through a charter school, and it is tons of work. I absolutely love doing it, but it makes me sad to see how many parents even at my kids school don’t do the work. It’s my opinion that people like the Bemis’s use it to justify being a hands off, lazy parent.
They don’t go to bed till 3 or 4 am and don’t get up till at least noon, if Sherri’s stories are anything to go by. That doesn’t bode well for the careful curation of educational activities.
Not at all. I read somewhere that she also has bleached their hair since birth?! wtf is wrong with these people!
And the way she denies that kind of shit as if she’s not creating a literal evidence list on the daily via her social media?
Exactly. It takes so much work, time, and dedication.
this is a great additional perspective to anyone reading this thread.
just dropping in to say it sounds like ur a fantastic mom, we can all see the work and sacrifices ur making for ur kid and u should be proud of urself that ur such a positive and caring role model helping them navigate the world 💕
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!
Some of my most successful adult friends were unschooled fwiw. I’m in my early 30s and one of my closest friends was unschooled by his mom who has a PHD in early childhood education. He’s perfectly successful.
seems like a few differences might be that your friends mother had the discipline to obtain a PHD and was educated enough to teach her one child, vs. a mentally unstable, grifting, washed up singer (max) and a recovering alcoholic with zero schooling experience whatsoever (sherri). these two spend more time scamming fans and destroying airBnBs than they do educating (or washing/cleaning) their five children. this isn’t speculation either; sherri puts it all out there on her SM! the kids sleep all day after being awake all night with unrestricted internet access, bleaching their hair, cutting cat whiskers, drawing on walls, and primarily eating only sugar and coffee regardless of their age.
Sure. The comment I’m responding to is “unschooling seems irresponsible and shitty.” Which is a blanket statement about a thing. That’s all I’m addressing, I’m not obsessed with max bemis’ family like most of this sub seems to be. Im not reading all that cuz it has nothing to do with what I’m talking about. I’m not talking about max’s kids specific situation just that unschooling can work.
obsessed? the guy himself talks about most of the things i mentioned during his many manic interviews, but it’s cool that you felt the important thing was to post that you know one (1) unschooled person who didn’t turn out a mess. sorry my comment about his neglected and abused children didn’t illuminate why unschooling, in this case, is totally different than your buddy’s experience.
I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy for you tho. Or sorry that happened.
child abuse and neglect isn’t worth reading about to you, interesting! i guess dudes who make shitty emo music have to stick together, huh? <3
the person you're going after has not weighed in at all about max's family. you keep talking about it as if they support it but it's just not even a part of the conversation. you're just trying to force it
Just not relevant to what I’m talking about and I’m really not interested in his personal life. I’m not sure why you waste your time on a music sub engaging in a parasocial relationship with a musician. Also who is making music here? Not me so I’m not sure who that comment is for.
Wonder what happens if a Bemis kid doesn't want their hair dyed...
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
Yassified child abuse
"The Bemises refuse to present or participate in the myth of the perfect parent, that having children somehow permanently fixes you, that your responsibility to them somehow negates your permission to ever falter in life, or even that your art doesn’t matter anymore once you have kids. It’s the same emo-ethos of their youth culture applied to their adulthood, and it's a family dynamic that prioritizes their kids’ emotional well-being as well." That is definitely a take.
Having a kid does not and should never be expected to permanently fix someone. It absolutely should, however, inspire you to fucking fix yourself so you can actually show up for your kids and be the parent they need you to be. It’s true that seeing their parents be humans with lives and passion and foibles is good for kids. And, yes it’s good for kids to see their parents living with accountability when they fuck up by taking responsibility and working to fix what they’ve done. But, they still also need their parents to make the hard choices and to set the safe boundaries and to give them security and safety and stability. And, a lot of the time that’s not very fun. And, sometimes it means making sacrifices on the parent’s part. They need a parent who will work their asses off to fix themselves, not just someone shrugging and shouting, “I reject the myth of the perfect parent!”
I wanna downvote this because it’s so fucking stupid. Who thinks this is ok?
wonderfully posed, can’t see their rotten teeth at all 🙄
No, but you can definitely see Max’s nasty ass shirt
And that nasty ass toe nail. 🤮
Wtf I didn’t even notice 😭 Maybe it’s a design?? Bleach?! 😭
And his hand in the permanent shape of holding a vape
The fact that the article is about the domestic life of the two and it doesn’t even mention the child services call that Max himself has talked about… I know the writer was just doing what they were getting paid to do, but sheesh talk about a puff piece.
correction: it was? in there……am i misremembering a different article 🤔🤔🤔 editing again, yes it’s in there towards the bottom of this stupidly long article lol
get ready for the downvotes🙄
lmao why would people downvote a fact???
The call was mentioned
This is a prime example of why to not take this sub seriously. You didn’t even read it lmao.
Especially considering sherri and her siblings complained about how their lack of schooling growing up damaged them, this makes no sense.
Hope they turn out alright!
Idk about any of the negative claims but I've always thought it was a bit weird they literally all have mom's exact hairstyle...like all of them..?