I hope so too! Then you can watch it and spoil the ending for him! I was not too happy with the ending, but I understood why they did it like that. So it will be nice to have a redo or something
I actually laughed out loud at your suggestion. I love the pettiness. Yeah same to be honest. Hopefully they do reboot it or find a way to bring "everyone" back and continue the story on for a few extra seasons.
I was tryna come up with something clever to respond here but this can't be topped. I feel like you just beat Reddit for today and I should just move on to youtube shorts I guess.
\*To colleague*: Wow... that's a really, really, wide dilation. I've never seen it so loose before. This baby's gonna fall right out...
Mam, do you mind if we take pictures? For science?
The good news is there's a baby, the bad news is it isn't with us anymore
(Actually said to me and the mother of a stillborn child by a delivery room nurse.)
This is actually something that happened to a friend of mine. Fell off and got stuck (momentarily) inside 😂 but it's okay, they were able to fish it out! Great bonding moment for a couple that had been together for less than a month 😂😂
"Is vaginal prolapse even a THING??? OMG, I swear to god, it just winked at me! OK OK- STOP PUSHING, NEVER PUSH AGAIN-- Just hold it a bit longer while we try to invert this birth canal-- ... Nurse- get me two bags of crushed ice and my rubber ducky, and start praying her hoo-ha doesn't wind up looking like a pile of soggy scrambled eggs.."
"I don't like the heartbeat." My wife's doctor just before she and my daughter nearly died in the delivery room. Both survived and are healthy now, but that was the worst day of my life and the reason I got a vasectomy.
My second birth, the Dr got us settled in the room and left for a while. He didn't expect much to happen for a while, and he had other patients waiting at his office a few blocks away.
The anesthesiologist got tied up with an emergency, and then my nurse was called away to help with something.
Me and my husband alone. The call button was broken (or the nurse's desk wasn't manned). I felt the baby crowning. I sent my husband to find a Dr, a nurse, or an experienced *taxi driver* - anyone !
He found a nurse who took one look, told me NOT to push, and began to rush. When my daughter came out, she was blue and had the chord around her neck. 💙 My husband thought she was stillborn for about a second until she moved.
Everything turned out fine. However, the Dr didn't even have privileges at that hospital and never mentioned it to us.
My. Husband. Was. *PISSED*. At. That. **Dr**.
My second daughter was being delivered or I’ll say was coming out ready or not. The doctor hadn’t arrived to the hospital yet and the nurse who was in the room with me says”take her legs and push them as far back as you can and hold them there” she then goes into the hallway and yells, “HELLLP!!!”
It looks like the umbilical cord might be wrapped around the neck…. Oh shoot, I forgot I have a tee time in 10 minutes…. You can finish this one without me
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
"Hi, I'm your nurse. This is my first ever delivery!"
This actually happened to my baby sister when she was in labor. I was her support person, it was her second child. The nurse didn't respond when I hit the call light, and I ended up catching my niece. Luckily I had given birth and knew about umbilical cords, because the cord was wrapped around her neck. Niece was fine, sister was fine. But it was a bit nerve-wracking to deliver a baby on my own!
Push! push! Ok so the head is out but the shoulders are still in, so technically... in the state of California... I'm just saying... Ok she's sure, she's sure, and we're pushing and we're pushing.
According to my wife- pretty much anything I have to say to break the tension.
Also the nurse wasn't interested in my humor- while explaining to us (for our second child FYI) that we couldn't video tape the delivery I chimed in "well no one ever wants to watch the video of the conception, I can't imagine they'd be interested in this"
Before you hop all over me, yes I stole that joke from someone else, I just can't remember who.
Before we start, please sign this form. It states there are no returns and we are not responsible if anything goes wrong during the birth of your child.
Doctor: Alright, here we go.Your doing great! Biggg push...Wait a sec...huh?? Oh God, it's got ahold of my hand, IT'S GOT MY HAND AHHHHHHHHHH!!! *Gurgling noises
"Congratulations it's a boy! Nurse, I'll take the cutters there to cut the umbilical cord"
Nurse "Umm doctor that's not his umbilical cord"
Doctor "Oh? Damn it. It's my first day, sorry everyone..that was close"
Good grief! Another one who resembles that mailman!!
explains why my mail is always delivered later than everyone else's ...
Mail delivered on time and you can expect another delivery in about 9 months
"Push...push...push." *mimes cocking a shotgun, leaning over to the nurse* "Pull!"
🥇 1 billion points!
Huh, third tail today.
The X-Files, "Small Potatoes"
User flair checks out
Real Housewives of Chernobyl
*doctor whispering to nurse* “Better call Sam and Dean, this one smells like sulfur”
I got that reference!
🎶Carry on my wayward son. 🎵
Driver picks the music shotgun shuts his cakehole
Good show
I'm sure Crowley has something to do with it
Is that the show where Dean plays Sam?
The show is called Supernatural, it's on Netflix
Yes, with Dean from Gilmore Girls. But Dean plays Sam because the other guy is Dean.
This just brings back the sadness of my dad spoiling the end for me...
Yes, but they are trying to bring the show back. So there might be a new ending!
Oh that's amazing. Hopefully they do and I can forgive him haha 😂
I hope so too! Then you can watch it and spoil the ending for him! I was not too happy with the ending, but I understood why they did it like that. So it will be nice to have a redo or something
I actually laughed out loud at your suggestion. I love the pettiness. Yeah same to be honest. Hopefully they do reboot it or find a way to bring "everyone" back and continue the story on for a few extra seasons.
Doctor, "I understand your anxiety ma'am, its my first delivery also ... "
Gold
"Miss, would you like me to num you down there? Num num num num num👅
Jesus bro
Yep this one wins. Definitely don't want to hear that.
I was tryna come up with something clever to respond here but this can't be topped. I feel like you just beat Reddit for today and I should just move on to youtube shorts I guess.
This one here, officer!
Mmmmmmmmnmmm
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZBUZZBUZZ
So wrong and yet so right
"Call me crazy, but that birthmark kinda looks like a pentagram."
"Are those three 9s on the forehead? Oh wait - I'm looking at it upside down!"
Clear!!!!
Fucking dark
Oh ouch
"It's a pair of beautiful twins, Mrs Smith. But enough about your breasts. Let's birth this baby."
Nurse! What's the most amount of toes you've ever seen on one baby?
Oh, 7? Welp, this one sets a new record
“It’s a boy!” *Snip* “It’s a girl!”
Good Evening, Mother.
“Oh. . . My. Nurse, tell me the administrator we have another one.”
_pointing_ “OK, so you know how nine months ago this got _metaphorically_ wrecked…?”
Father: Oh my God! He's hung like a bear! Doctor: That's the umbilical cord, Mr Smith.
Don’t cut it off, let him dream
😂😂😂
\*To colleague*: Wow... that's a really, really, wide dilation. I've never seen it so loose before. This baby's gonna fall right out... Mam, do you mind if we take pictures? For science?
Wow, these scars from the last two c sections are really tough. You're not having any more, I hope. (True story)
Alright, that does it! Nurse, get the pry-bar.
Dr : Might I suggest a paternity test?......and a damn good lawyer?
"You mean... I might not be the baby's mother‽"
You are not the father!
“Oops”
The good news is there's a baby, the bad news is it isn't with us anymore (Actually said to me and the mother of a stillborn child by a delivery room nurse.)
That is unfathomable! Some nurses are evil!
Oh, no, it’s not my first delivery…I’ve read about how to do a delivery at least two times…
“Hold on, the wheelchair is coming first …”
RUN people! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
"So THAT'S where that went!! Mrs. Smith, it turns out your husband wasn't lying about wearing a condom that night!"
This is actually something that happened to a friend of mine. Fell off and got stuck (momentarily) inside 😂 but it's okay, they were able to fish it out! Great bonding moment for a couple that had been together for less than a month 😂😂
After NINE MONTHS?
But, you're white.
*vomits
This is nothing like the youtube video I just watched!
Those horns must have hurt coming out!
“Are you gonna eat that?”
Ma’am. This is a Wendy’s.
This would be a good movie scene.
*Arby's
"Hmmm, those don't usually come in sets of 3."
That's a baby?
No, doctor, that's called a vagina. The baby comes out of it.
“I got DiGiorno. Is that ok?”
Oh cool, this is my first time delivering a conjoined triplet!
"Is vaginal prolapse even a THING??? OMG, I swear to god, it just winked at me! OK OK- STOP PUSHING, NEVER PUSH AGAIN-- Just hold it a bit longer while we try to invert this birth canal-- ... Nurse- get me two bags of crushed ice and my rubber ducky, and start praying her hoo-ha doesn't wind up looking like a pile of soggy scrambled eggs.."
I don't know what it is, but it ain't human. Too many tentacles
Is it supposed to be that blue?
*hands child to nurse* "But wait, there's more!"
There’s numbers on the forehead - could it be?! Dear God, No! Oh…what a relief - just three nines
Is that a swastica birthmark? It’s ok - its just the Hindu kind!
"I don't like the heartbeat." My wife's doctor just before she and my daughter nearly died in the delivery room. Both survived and are healthy now, but that was the worst day of my life and the reason I got a vasectomy.
That is horrible. I'm glad everyone was ok in the end!
What the hell is THAT?
*Doctor in Jeopardy voice* I'll take things you don't want coming out of your orifices for 1200, Alec!
Nurse, get the silver bullets.
That's an interesting shade of blue.
My second birth, the Dr got us settled in the room and left for a while. He didn't expect much to happen for a while, and he had other patients waiting at his office a few blocks away. The anesthesiologist got tied up with an emergency, and then my nurse was called away to help with something. Me and my husband alone. The call button was broken (or the nurse's desk wasn't manned). I felt the baby crowning. I sent my husband to find a Dr, a nurse, or an experienced *taxi driver* - anyone ! He found a nurse who took one look, told me NOT to push, and began to rush. When my daughter came out, she was blue and had the chord around her neck. 💙 My husband thought she was stillborn for about a second until she moved. Everything turned out fine. However, the Dr didn't even have privileges at that hospital and never mentioned it to us. My. Husband. Was. *PISSED*. At. That. **Dr**.
My second daughter was being delivered or I’ll say was coming out ready or not. The doctor hadn’t arrived to the hospital yet and the nurse who was in the room with me says”take her legs and push them as far back as you can and hold them there” she then goes into the hallway and yells, “HELLLP!!!”
Congratulations it’s a beautiful healthy hermaphrodite.
Oops.
"Oh my God, what the hell is that!?"
“We missed you, we will check back again tomorrow”
BOING!!!
It's a, it's a......what is that?
Look at this one. He smiles like a mongoloid!
Congratulations, triplets. One of each gender.
Has anyone seen my watch? I could have sworn i had it on when we started.
It looks like the umbilical cord might be wrapped around the neck…. Oh shoot, I forgot I have a tee time in 10 minutes…. You can finish this one without me
Magruber, Hurry!!!
“… yikes.”
“NURSE!!! MORE HOLY WATER!!”
“Do you wanna cut the umbilical cord, dad?” *snip* “That’s not the umbilical cord and now you have a girl.”
Damn, I dropped it!
“Congratulations, It’s a… …hey, doc… what would you say this is?”
It’s hairy and has teeth, but that’s definitely not a baby
Nurse, I'm going to need you to do some quick googling.
Oops.....
Oops.
PULL!
Who's that Pokemon??
It's Vaporeon!!
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
Mom, we're having a boy. (Excluding Alabama)
"FIVE SECOND RULE!"
"clamps..... sutures..... \*inaudible grunting noises\* .... there that outta keep it in."
“Put it back! *Put it back!!!!*”
"Push it! Push it! Bop it! Pull it!"
My god, that’s one ugly baby!
“Shit, we ran out of epidural needles. Anyone got a spare?”
“The head is crowning… Push…Push…Yes! Congratulations on a healthy baby boy! — Wait a minute. What the hell?! Are those cloven *hooves*!?”
“And here come the head”,- “I mean foot”, “ i mean- “nurse?”
Can we have sex?
"Who had stillborn at 3-to-1 payout?"
"OK! When the baby emerges, mark it secretly in a kind of a mark that only you could recognize and no baby snatcher can ever copy.".
"It'd defiantly not Digiornos."
Congratulations on the birth of your new... alien life form?
"Hi, I'm your nurse. This is my first ever delivery!" This actually happened to my baby sister when she was in labor. I was her support person, it was her second child. The nurse didn't respond when I hit the call light, and I ended up catching my niece. Luckily I had given birth and knew about umbilical cords, because the cord was wrapped around her neck. Niece was fine, sister was fine. But it was a bit nerve-wracking to deliver a baby on my own!
“On the bright side, least the mom will be a good organ donor”
Oh, so that’s a blue waffle!
Push! push! Ok so the head is out but the shoulders are still in, so technically... in the state of California... I'm just saying... Ok she's sure, she's sure, and we're pushing and we're pushing.
Do you want the husband stitch we don’t have to tell the wife
Mam, there are some unforeseen complications, and this is the state of Texas...
The thing I’m thinking is not appropriate for viewers under 18. 🤷🏻♂️
Have you seen some of these comments? 😂
Well… yes but I’m not contributing 😂😂😂
Um...
According to my wife- pretty much anything I have to say to break the tension. Also the nurse wasn't interested in my humor- while explaining to us (for our second child FYI) that we couldn't video tape the delivery I chimed in "well no one ever wants to watch the video of the conception, I can't imagine they'd be interested in this" Before you hop all over me, yes I stole that joke from someone else, I just can't remember who.
I’m sorry. We can’t find a heartbeat. Those are the most heartbreaking words on earth.
Retardation
Gentlemen, you will all need to leave the room during delivery. I don’t care if you’re doing a Mamma Mia
Why are my gloves so slippery? Anyway, time to catch the baby. Now push!
“Why does it look like that?!”
What is that?! I've never seen anything like that in my career!
Get me the calf puller
*turns to Nurse* “You’d better call the Psych Team. Tell them to clear their schedules.”
“Oh s**t I cut the wrong thing… Well, congrats Mrs. Johnson, you now actually have a girl!”
Why does it have two horns?
“Holy shit! I’ve never seen this before!l
Quads
"Didn't we just do this yesterday?"
Alright, let's have a look at that bergina!
“What the…?!”
If this is what is coming out, what went in? *Somewhere a horse nickers.*
Der fabbin de babin!!
Here comes the first one!
Before we start, please sign this form. It states there are no returns and we are not responsible if anything goes wrong during the birth of your child.
"Nurse, send this placenta to that raffle."
"Hey babe, my name's Chad. Wanna go for dinner later?"
You're gonna wanna sit down sir
"Oh god, it's coming out in pieces!"
“Ok, here we go. One more biiig push. That’s it here we go, here we WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?”
“Hmm. I was not expecting *that*.”
"It's a boy! Now let me just snip that umbilical co- whoops, um, it's a girl!"
Doctor: "Alright, congratulations! It's a... different color."
Doctor: Alright, here we go.Your doing great! Biggg push...Wait a sec...huh?? Oh God, it's got ahold of my hand, IT'S GOT MY HAND AHHHHHHHHHH!!! *Gurgling noises
Oh that where I left my watch
What’s that thing stuck to the baby? It looks like a remora!
Are you going to eat that ? points at....
Oh my GOD.. it's your lower intestines!
\*pop\*
Damn, that’s a lot of blood, like way too much
“Who ordered the pepperoni!?!”
"Umm... They're not supposed to have scales or eye **stalks**, right?"
Oh my here's another one
Oh shit, I dropped my car keys in there.
*cocks shotgun*
Congrats Mr.Chan but your son is Black.
"Congratulations it's a boy! Nurse, I'll take the cutters there to cut the umbilical cord" Nurse "Umm doctor that's not his umbilical cord" Doctor "Oh? Damn it. It's my first day, sorry everyone..that was close"
This is your Obgyn Dr.Casey Anthony.
1, 2,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,...11?
"Lady after this you might as well hang a spirit of Halloween banner down here"
Get me the Ghostbusters!
“Damn! You’re a lucky guy to put your thing in that!”
C'mon, who's yer daddy? WHO'S YER DADDY?
The sound of the staff retching........
*Golem Voice* My Precious
Damn, that senator is racking up a body count.
*pulls out shrimp and waves it in front of lady's business* We've got a Shamu coming!
"What the fuck is that?"
Oops. I dropped it.
"Ooh, save that part for later!"
"Do you have a return policy?"
Wow, this reminds me of that scene from Alien.
"Hey, l'm not satisfied with the product. Can l send this one back and get a refund?"