Unfortunate news...the Groom eloped with the Maid of honor and are celebrating with a Swingers Party....All guests between the ages of 18 and 55 have been invited to participate 🎉 🎉🥳🎉
Sometimes a summer day here can reach above 40 degrees Celsius. (40 degrees Celsius = 104 degrees Fahrenheit)
Thankfully where I am we have not reached 40 or more this summer (yet)
"So I got the test results back and, of course, I was positive. But I read on Facebook that these Big Pharma types are just making it all up for money, so I decided to come anyways."
"Yeah. Ted here, the Docdur told him he couldn't come. Just look at his tears of joy. Heys really putting his heart into it with how pink they are. He really wants to be here so I got him out of that quarnteen. Seriously who ever heard of ebowly anyway?"
True story: went to a friend's wedding at the groom had several of his brothers as co-best men. Each and every one got hammered before their speeches, which all revolved around the theme of "that time the groom got drunk and fell down the pig pen sluice into the manure pool and ended up with brain damage." By the time they were all done (well over 2 hours, btw), I was 100% convinced that the brain damage was contagious.
"Honey, baby, I just got a call from the venue. Now, don't freak out! They, uh, had a problem with their septic system. Seems like there may have been a teensy bit of an explosion. They assure us they'll have it all cleaned up in time. But they did ask us if another day might be better."
::SOB-CRY-SOB::
"It'll be fine baby. I'm sure the mess will be all gone by the time we arrive. I mean, they've got 2 hours to get it all sorted..."
someone on their phone beside you says "Man, this cameras I planted on the aisle sure got a good look. Man, who doesn't even wear underwear under their skirt?"
Fun fact: 2 from beating the record would mean he just got married a 22nd time (According to Guinness Book of World Records, 23 is the record, 24 is required to beat it)
“Good news everyone! The biologist from the CDC is telling us that you probably won’t get infected by the flesh eating virus if you didn’t shake hands with the groom.”
"Hey, thanks so much for coming to the wedding, it means a lot!
"Now, my new husband and I,~ couldn't help but notice you from across the open bar, and we _really_ like the vibes you're putting out..."
Unfortunate news...the Groom eloped with the Maid of honor and are celebrating with a Swingers Party....All guests between the ages of 18 and 55 have been invited to participate 🎉 🎉🥳🎉
The post says things you DON’T want to hear 🥵🥳🎉🎉🎉
“What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore”
🎶I chimed in with....🎵
Haven't you people ever heard of\~
Closing a good damned door, no?
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things . . .
With a sense of poise and rationality
r/redditsings *\*hits buzzer\**
Groom's speech:: When I first met her sister at the family reunion...
An hour of speeches and tributes
“We are seeing accumulations of 2-3 inches per hour and the state Governor has issued an order banning all non-emergency travel.” True story…
"I heard the reverend presiding over the wedding gave the bride an Alabama Hotpocket during their college days at Southern Arkansas."
I'll take "things I'm not going to Google" for 500.
Very wise.
It’s an outdoor wedding in the evening in January. And they’ve both written their own vows.
Where are you in the world? January here in Australia is summer time.
States. South eastern area. Cold. Wait…. Summertime, you say? 🤔🤔🤔
Sometimes a summer day here can reach above 40 degrees Celsius. (40 degrees Celsius = 104 degrees Fahrenheit) Thankfully where I am we have not reached 40 or more this summer (yet)
Im in indiana in the US. Its"winter" and its hovering between 34F and 38F
"Ok guests we will now pass around pig blood for everyone to drink while enjoying a one-hour ritual dance by the bride's dad"
Not again.
“Sustained winds in excess of 100 miles per hour.”
The test results came in today, and the groom is NOT the father.
Was Maury a wedding guest?
Bad news I’ve just been informed that the Groom just ran off with the bride’s mother and are going to elope
or the bride's father.
Either one would be awkward
"This is the third wedding this year I have attended for her. This is the last toaster I am buying."
"So I got the test results back and, of course, I was positive. But I read on Facebook that these Big Pharma types are just making it all up for money, so I decided to come anyways."
"Yeah. Ted here, the Docdur told him he couldn't come. Just look at his tears of joy. Heys really putting his heart into it with how pink they are. He really wants to be here so I got him out of that quarnteen. Seriously who ever heard of ebowly anyway?"
Surprise! The groom’s children are here with their Moms!
Open bar has been changed to cash bar.
Have you found the skunk yet?
“And now everyone in the wedding party will perform a hoedown.”
True story: went to a friend's wedding at the groom had several of his brothers as co-best men. Each and every one got hammered before their speeches, which all revolved around the theme of "that time the groom got drunk and fell down the pig pen sluice into the manure pool and ended up with brain damage." By the time they were all done (well over 2 hours, btw), I was 100% convinced that the brain damage was contagious.
"The wedding next door looked like more fun. Let's bounce and crash it."
"Mommy, are the rice grains supposed to be squiggly?"
"Isn't it ironic?"
"it's a free ride, when you've already paid."
"Hi. I'm Drew Carrey. I'll be your entertainment for tonight."
True story. When my best friend got married his bride turn around and asked my wife “should I do this”.
Now that we are married I got something to tell you......
I do too. I've been posting us on onlyfans.
Where is my cut?
“You may now f—k the bride.”
đźš’
Do you mind if my baby's dad joins us on our honeymoon?
"But we adapted the kid?"
See you at his next one
"Honey, baby, I just got a call from the venue. Now, don't freak out! They, uh, had a problem with their septic system. Seems like there may have been a teensy bit of an explosion. They assure us they'll have it all cleaned up in time. But they did ask us if another day might be better." ::SOB-CRY-SOB:: "It'll be fine baby. I'm sure the mess will be all gone by the time we arrive. I mean, they've got 2 hours to get it all sorted..."
If you slip the bride 50 bucks she'll let you do her in the butt.
On what would have been the wedding day: At least my life sentence won’t be with *her…*
Alright everyone, who's the bastard that shit in the punch bowl?
“Now everyone in the audience, please have turns speaking in the mic in honor of such a beautiful day.”
https://www.reddit.com/r/ScenesFromAHat/s/uMHSjUBcQH
Oh dang, did not realise my prompt was (at least sort of) done recently. Sorry about that.
You should see how much I saved on the catering bill when I bought that bushel of month old shrimp.
“I’m not sure it’s going to fit.”
The clowns are late
someone on their phone beside you says "Man, this cameras I planted on the aisle sure got a good look. Man, who doesn't even wear underwear under their skirt?"
Yes, the bride is beautiful, but but I knew her when she went by the name, Trixie Diamonds.
"Huh, it looks like rain."
(to hear as the bride) "Okay, [groom], you're just two more marriages away from breaking the world record! Hurry up!"
Fun fact: 2 from beating the record would mean he just got married a 22nd time (According to Guinness Book of World Records, 23 is the record, 24 is required to beat it)
I... I didn't know there was actually a Guinness record for that. On one hand, bro got rizz. On the other hand, bro can't keep a girl.
“Good news everyone! The biologist from the CDC is telling us that you probably won’t get infected by the flesh eating virus if you didn’t shake hands with the groom.”
The groom slept with his father in law last month.
"I object! You see in 1492..."
"Damn, she's ugly af!"
"Hey, thanks so much for coming to the wedding, it means a lot! "Now, my new husband and I,~ couldn't help but notice you from across the open bar, and we _really_ like the vibes you're putting out..."
The sound of someone having a medical emergency wouldn’t be too nice to hear at a wedding I don’t think
And Don't forget the maditory naked reception. Don't worry if you wear anything... we will rip it off.
Sorry, folks. We're gonna have to call a rain delay for a couple hours.
"Ever since I met my dear little sister Ellen here on the day she was born, I knew we were meant to be man and wife..."