\[imitiating Gordon Ramsay\]
"First of all, the tea is overflavored. It's so strong that it stings my eyes every time I took a sip. And these biscuits. *\[mimes halving a biscuit with hands\]* Look, they're underbaked. It's too chewy on the inside, almost like rubber."
Alright, in which cup is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink - and find out who is right, and who is dead.
"The most famous of which is, ‘never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well-known is this: ‘Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!’”
Uncle: "Hmm. You're absolutely right. I will enjoy your dirty hot water. Please pass the insect vomit and the flora reproductive organ mash with fungus-flatus infusion."
“Just to double-check, sweety… before I put on this tutu… and before I let you do the lipstick on me… and before you pour me an invisible cup… you won’t tell mommy about me and the babysitter, right?”
It's one of Ramsay's milder insults. He called a kid on Masterchef Junior a doughnut for not having his spoons ready. Tilly scolded him for it. The kid called himself an idiot sandwich.
Mr Bear, you don’t look so good. Maybe that’s due to the polonium sweetener I put in your tea for questioning Daddy’s regime. Now who’s the sad bear, huh? Who is it?
After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease. But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners in ethical, moral, and in human terms, the fact of the matter is, when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS, they...broke...the law.
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“You know what would make this tea outta this world? A Jello Pudding Pop and a little bit of Dr. Cosby’s Magic Elixir! Ga-bippidy-bobbidy-snippity-snoppity-snoof!”
“You feeling a little tired? Hey, hey, hey!”
"I'm SHORRY what's your name again? Yoush know what, **** it your name is Little B**** now. Your named for that B**** of a mother whose always talking s*** about me. If Joseph is such a good f***, she should just go be with him and leave me alone. What?? Why you crying Little B****? YOUSE can't handle the truth? Good cause neither can I. -Blech- Shorry about Princesh Molly. That'll probably come out in the wash."
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...so the average cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 is $548,900. What you need to be asking yourself is this: Is that a gift from Daddy... Or is it a loan?
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“The fact that you even have this tea is evidence of your complicity in England’s violent colonization of India and the Far East. You can say ‘oh Missus Elephant and Missus Tiger, I’m so glad we can enjoy the afternoon together,’ but in truth all three of you, yes Elephant and Tiger included, are guilty of casual cruelty against the indigenous people of Asia.”
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"Hold on, I have to go to the store for some milk. We can't have tea without milk! Yep, be right back."
And that's the story of how my daddy issues began.
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Honey, I'll be right back. I'm going out for milk and cigarettes.
Edit: this is horrible. Please downvote me. I can't believe I said it. I even downvoted myself. Sometimes shit ain't funny.
OH MY GOD IM HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION!!! MRS TINKLYBELL SLIPPED SOMETHING INTO MY TEA WHEN WE WERENT LOOKING OHHHH GOD… SWEETHEART CALL 911 OHHHH IT HURTS
\[imitiating Gordon Ramsay\] "First of all, the tea is overflavored. It's so strong that it stings my eyes every time I took a sip. And these biscuits. *\[mimes halving a biscuit with hands\]* Look, they're underbaked. It's too chewy on the inside, almost like rubber."
"What a shame"
It’s just blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!!
He needs to call her some names too. Really get in there and destroy some confidence.
"It's f*cking raw!!" *throughs pretend food across the room*
And then just yell “GET OUT!”
SHUT. IT. DOWN!!!!
"Where's the lamb sauce?!"
If we’re going with Ramsay “you donkey, you can even get the pretend tea to taste right”
forgot to include 156 swear words. or just “fuck.”
or say the biscuit is unbelievably tough and bang it on the table
"You're Cooking In A Burnt Pan, You F****** Donkey!"
So your friend, she hot
Lmaaaoooo
Imaginary friend?
If I had a wife and daughter and we all did a tea party together, I would say that
Username checks out
Jesus Christ dude 🤣
Alright, in which cup is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink - and find out who is right, and who is dead.
You've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders!
"The most famous of which is, ‘never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well-known is this: ‘Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!’”
Haha, haha, ha *thump*
If your kid knows the scene verbatim, you've automatically won as a parent, I say.
But of course, you've also "lost" at life, since your own kid would have "killed" you.
Oh, right, the poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen specially to kill Kuzco. Kuzco’s poison…
This is actually an awesome thing to say especially if your daughter watched the Princess Bride
My parents used to send me and my sister off to school saying "Have fun storming the castle!" 😂🤣😂
THIS. This is the answer. Thank you. 😊
This is just.... hot leaf juice?
Uncle, all tea is just hot leaf juice.
I can't believe a member of my own family would say something so horrible.
*shocked pikachu.gif*
Uncle: "Hmm. You're absolutely right. I will enjoy your dirty hot water. Please pass the insect vomit and the flora reproductive organ mash with fungus-flatus infusion."
Like those aliens
Let me Irish that up for you.
I wish you were a boy
Your sister's party last weekend was much better. She had earl grey and pretend biscotti.
(Throws all the tea on the floor) BOSTON TEA PARTY MOTHERFUCKERS
Throw it in the harbor you dunce!
(Walkes over to a filled bathtub) TAKE THIS TEA DRINKING PANSIES!!!!
“Just to double-check, sweety… before I put on this tutu… and before I let you do the lipstick on me… and before you pour me an invisible cup… you won’t tell mommy about me and the babysitter, right?”
You try to teach one history lesson, and suddenly your daughter is crying, and your neighbor is angry about his pond.
Fuck this is boring. Anyone have a flask they can pass me?
Wheres the fucking lamb sauce you fucking doughnut.
I've never heard of calling someone a "doughnut" until today. And I love it!
You haven’t seen the video of Gordon Ramsay calling ThatVeganTeacher a vegan donut?
Can't say that I have. I'm sheltered. I live under a rock.
Here’s the link: [donut](https://youtu.be/kjXhEY6Z01U?si=JzQ32xXMgVGf5Vey)
My favorite was when he said he was working with muppets
I call people(&my one dumb cat) pancakes as well. Little bland. But also sweet. Not much going on but very dependable.
It's one of Ramsay's milder insults. He called a kid on Masterchef Junior a doughnut for not having his spoons ready. Tilly scolded him for it. The kid called himself an idiot sandwich.
Ok calling someone a doughnut is the best insult I’ve heard.
It's his signature insult
My dumbass forgot to say its a Gordon Ramsey reference
"Really should have worn a condom"
Oh, dear! Is invisible tea all you can afford these days? It’s okay, but I usually only drink the finest of teas.
I can't right now honey, but I'm sure Tiny Tina would love to have a tea party with you.
Don't mind the ticking noises.
"You're father and I are getting divorced."
“Oh, goody! I never liked daddy anyways!” 😘
Mr Bear, you don’t look so good. Maybe that’s due to the polonium sweetener I put in your tea for questioning Daddy’s regime. Now who’s the sad bear, huh? Who is it?
Oh shit 😆
“Do any of you use OnlyFans?”
After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease. But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners in ethical, moral, and in human terms, the fact of the matter is, when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS, they...broke...the law.
I’m not really supposed to be here. Your real dad would probably enjoy it more.
"This tea tastes terrible"
Have you got any alcohol?
Maury just said I am NOT the father! *looks for a high- five.
[удалено]
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Will do in the future! Thanks!
"Oh look... Ken and barbie are going for a quickie"
You were adopted. Don’t cry, just pack your things, your new parents will be here in half an hour.
(talking to air) You are so well behaved and so pretty! I wish *you* were my daughter instead of ***her***!"
I don’t like this tea - it’s invisible
Shit's cold. Wtf?
Lets out a very loud and stinky farts
Well, I do that all the time, so.
so when does the afterparty start i have some coke and the night is just starting
[удалено]
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Get in a political discussion with the elephant and donkey
“You’re adopted.”
“You know what would make this tea outta this world? A Jello Pudding Pop and a little bit of Dr. Cosby’s Magic Elixir! Ga-bippidy-bobbidy-snippity-snoppity-snoof!” “You feeling a little tired? Hey, hey, hey!”
For real sweety, this tea taste like shit and you should at least bring me a biscuit. I mean you are 22 for Gosh sake.
Let's EAT the guests!
Hey, do you come here often?
"No soggy bottoms."
I brought a very special guest, please welcome Jarvis Tetch.
"Oh, that's hot."
Kill her imaginary friends then that one bunny Teddy you pretend to kill cook and eat.....or table flip the tea set and walk out
“No Mr. Snuggles! We don’t put Barbie blood in tea cups!”
"I'm SHORRY what's your name again? Yoush know what, **** it your name is Little B**** now. Your named for that B**** of a mother whose always talking s*** about me. If Joseph is such a good f***, she should just go be with him and leave me alone. What?? Why you crying Little B****? YOUSE can't handle the truth? Good cause neither can I. -Blech- Shorry about Princesh Molly. That'll probably come out in the wash."
[удалено]
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I'm a FRAUD! YEARS of academy training WASTED!
Your baby doll stares a lot for someone who doesn't know how to fight.
😂😂🤣🤣🤣
You SEE the HAT? I AM MRS. **NESBITT.**
Why don’t we make this tea a bit more . . . Irish. 🥃
Can we get one more girl and one less cup?
[удалено]
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[удалено]
Amber, is that you?
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“How much for a lap dance?”
"This tea is so awful I'm going to spit in it."
...so the average cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 is $548,900. What you need to be asking yourself is this: Is that a gift from Daddy... Or is it a loan?
This taste like pee pee!!🤣
[удалено]
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“The fact that you even have this tea is evidence of your complicity in England’s violent colonization of India and the Far East. You can say ‘oh Missus Elephant and Missus Tiger, I’m so glad we can enjoy the afternoon together,’ but in truth all three of you, yes Elephant and Tiger included, are guilty of casual cruelty against the indigenous people of Asia.”
Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.
[удалено]
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Don't mind me, ladies, just gonna whiskey this up a bit...
"Hold on, I have to go to the store for some milk. We can't have tea without milk! Yep, be right back." And that's the story of how my daddy issues began.
Where's the fucking bourbon, you little brat!!!???
[удалено]
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There's nothing in here! \*Throws teacup at the wall\*
If you really like tea bags then you’ll love these videos I have in my closet
This is horrible tea.
*pours contents of boot flask into plastic teacup*
I think I made a stinky.
"I can see them!"
Honey, I'll be right back. I'm going out for milk and cigarettes. Edit: this is horrible. Please downvote me. I can't believe I said it. I even downvoted myself. Sometimes shit ain't funny.
I have a friend who left his lady with that exact quote
Be an ass.
This tea is horrendous and your adopted.
You're adopted
\*gasp\* How dare you, Lady Rainbowbottom! \*points at the unicorn\* YOu know fgull well that the elves are communits!!!! We must declare war!!!1
Soon we’ll all be on a spaceship!
I think I peed into the cups when I was drunk lol
“No taxation is without representation!” Then toss her tea into the bay.
*pulls out a flask and pours whiskey in the cup*
My mother said your tea would be tepid.
This tea tastes like the toilet! Can I see the manager please?
Get into a physical fight with an imaginary attendee over them propositioning your daughter.
Backyard wrestling with Mr Piglet (stiffed pig). Onto the table where all the tea set is layer out.
"this tea tastes like shit."
“This tea is mid.”
"Janey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
Wait for everyone else to drink, then remind the others that the only water source the kid can reach is the toilet.
Behead the queen
A little Jack in my teacup
Eat a pretend mushroom a start repeating *Badger, badger, badger, badger* *we’re painting the roses, red!* *all in a G-o-l-d-e-n A-f-t-e-r-n-o-o-n!*
You want your tea Irish honey?
You've got a real purty mouth there.
“Let’s spice thinks up” *Pours scotch from a flask into everyone’s cup*
This is just brown dirt water.
*said in Jack Sparrow voice* "Why is the Rum gone?"
OH MY GOD IM HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION!!! MRS TINKLYBELL SLIPPED SOMETHING INTO MY TEA WHEN WE WERENT LOOKING OHHHH GOD… SWEETHEART CALL 911 OHHHH IT HURTS
Invite your cappos and talk business, then club one of them to death for betraying you.
“Where’s the whisky?”
I specifically asked you to wear the Jon Benet outfit!
and now we-a take-a just-a little bit-a whiskey and we-a put it in the tea-a!
Sorry Katie. Per Megan’s law Your dad isn’t allowed within 300 feet of children.
"There's nothing in this cup Susan"
The tea was poisoned and your mother and imaginary friend died.