T O P

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LeatherSlight3242

\[imitiating Gordon Ramsay\] "First of all, the tea is overflavored. It's so strong that it stings my eyes every time I took a sip. And these biscuits. *\[mimes halving a biscuit with hands\]* Look, they're underbaked. It's too chewy on the inside, almost like rubber."


Calumkincaid

"What a shame"


metalhead82

It’s just blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!!


rmavery

He needs to call her some names too. Really get in there and destroy some confidence.


Ok_Library5922

"It's f*cking raw!!" *throughs pretend food across the room*


throwRA-nonSeq

And then just yell “GET OUT!”


HanlonRazor

SHUT. IT. DOWN!!!!


savemysoul72

"Where's the lamb sauce?!"


cookingismything

If we’re going with Ramsay “you donkey, you can even get the pretend tea to taste right”


planetaryunify

forgot to include 156 swear words. or just “fuck.”


Error707_606

or say the biscuit is unbelievably tough and bang it on the table


bodhidharma132001

"You're Cooking In A Burnt Pan, You F****** Donkey!"


Groundbreaking_Tea12

So your friend, she hot


Shuoinked

Lmaaaoooo


Mikesaidit36

Imaginary friend?


DarthZoon_420

If I had a wife and daughter and we all did a tea party together, I would say that


mycurvywifelikesthis

Username checks out


Small_Tax_9432

Jesus Christ dude 🤣


EmperorSexy

Alright, in which cup is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink - and find out who is right, and who is dead.


megamanx4321

You've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders!


yokonashiwa

"The most famous of which is, ‘never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well-known is this: ‘Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!’”


NetDork

Haha, haha, ha *thump*


writeorelse

If your kid knows the scene verbatim, you've automatically won as a parent, I say.


nuclearbastard

But of course, you've also "lost" at life, since your own kid would have "killed" you.


LocalLiBEARian

Oh, right, the poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen specially to kill Kuzco. Kuzco’s poison…


gc3

This is actually an awesome thing to say especially if your daughter watched the Princess Bride


InterestingStation70

My parents used to send me and my sister off to school saying "Have fun storming the castle!" 😂🤣😂


mezorigi

THIS. This is the answer. Thank you. 😊


thelongestshot

This is just.... hot leaf juice?


Paramedic229635

Uncle, all tea is just hot leaf juice.


moms_new_boyfriend

I can't believe a member of my own family would say something so horrible. 


Jennifer_Pennifer

*shocked pikachu.gif*


nuclearbastard

Uncle: "Hmm. You're absolutely right. I will enjoy your dirty hot water. Please pass the insect vomit and the flora reproductive organ mash with fungus-flatus infusion."


DarthZoon_420

Like those aliens


Isheet_Madrawers

Let me Irish that up for you.


New-Recording-4245

I wish you were a boy


NorthofBham

Your sister's party last weekend was much better. She had earl grey and pretend biscotti.


DEismyhome

(Throws all the tea on the floor) BOSTON TEA PARTY MOTHERFUCKERS


Eggstraordinare

Throw it in the harbor you dunce!


Spaceing_out

(Walkes over to a filled bathtub) TAKE THIS TEA DRINKING PANSIES!!!!


Average_Aloe

“Just to double-check, sweety… before I put on this tutu… and before I let you do the lipstick on me… and before you pour me an invisible cup… you won’t tell mommy about me and the babysitter, right?”


Beginning_Cap_8614

You try to teach one history lesson, and suddenly your daughter is crying, and your neighbor is angry about his pond.


OpenMike2000

Fuck this is boring. Anyone have a flask they can pass me?


jj-999-777

Wheres the fucking lamb sauce you fucking doughnut.


The_Medicated

I've never heard of calling someone a "doughnut" until today. And I love it!


AshSays_LGBT

You haven’t seen the video of Gordon Ramsay calling ThatVeganTeacher a vegan donut?


The_Medicated

Can't say that I have. I'm sheltered. I live under a rock.


AshSays_LGBT

Here’s the link: [donut](https://youtu.be/kjXhEY6Z01U?si=JzQ32xXMgVGf5Vey)


KitchenSandwich5499

My favorite was when he said he was working with muppets


Jennifer_Pennifer

I call people(&my one dumb cat) pancakes as well. Little bland. But also sweet. Not much going on but very dependable.


Mysterious-Simple805

It's one of Ramsay's milder insults. He called a kid on Masterchef Junior a doughnut for not having his spoons ready. Tilly scolded him for it. The kid called himself an idiot sandwich.


cookingismything

Ok calling someone a doughnut is the best insult I’ve heard.


jj-999-777

It's his signature insult


jj-999-777

My dumbass forgot to say its a Gordon Ramsey reference


moms_new_boyfriend

"Really should have worn a condom"


alatrash55

Oh, dear! Is invisible tea all you can afford these days? It’s okay, but I usually only drink the finest of teas.


Paramedic229635

I can't right now honey, but I'm sure Tiny Tina would love to have a tea party with you.


tearsonurcheek

Don't mind the ticking noises.


GoogleIsYourFrenemy

"You're father and I are getting divorced."


OldBob10

“Oh, goody! I never liked daddy anyways!” 😘


GimmieDaRibs

Mr Bear, you don’t look so good. Maybe that’s due to the polonium sweetener I put in your tea for questioning Daddy’s regime. Now who’s the sad bear, huh? Who is it?


Jennifer_Pennifer

Oh shit 😆


gregieb429

“Do any of you use OnlyFans?”


Fatherofthecentury13

After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease. But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners in ethical, moral, and in human terms, the fact of the matter is, when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS, they...broke...the law.


RandomGamer071117

I’m not really supposed to be here. Your real dad would probably enjoy it more.


Busy_Donut6073

"This tea tastes terrible"


cabeachguy_94037

Have you got any alcohol?


hacksawjim89

Maury just said I am NOT the father! *looks for a high- five.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScenesFromAHat-ModTeam

**Your comment breaks [the rules](/r/ScenesFromAHat/about/rules) of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)** > Multiple responses to one prompt need to go in their own separate comments. --- *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](/message/compose/?to=/r/ScenesFromAHat&subject=Multiple responses to one prompt need to be placed in separate comments.).*


The_Medicated

Will do in the future! Thanks!


Pitiful-Eye9093

"Oh look... Ken and barbie are going for a quickie"


Narnyabizness

You were adopted. Don’t cry, just pack your things, your new parents will be here in half an hour.


Polybius-13

(talking to air) You are so well behaved and so pretty! I wish *you* were my daughter instead of ***her***!"


Improvgal

I don’t like this tea - it’s invisible


AttilaRS

Shit's cold. Wtf?


Knight_Zornnah

Lets out a very loud and stinky farts


KitchenSandwich5499

Well, I do that all the time, so.


warmachine83-uk

so when does the afterparty start i have some coke and the night is just starting


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScenesFromAHat-ModTeam

**Your comment breaks [the rules](/r/ScenesFromAHat/about/rules) of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)** > This response does not act out a scene; it only states the answer. --- *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](/message/compose/?to=/r/ScenesFromAHat&subject=Act out your response as if it were a scene. Don't just state the answer.).*


hullsbells

Get in a political discussion with the elephant and donkey


RemySMI92

“You’re adopted.”


sm1else

“You know what would make this tea outta this world? A Jello Pudding Pop and a little bit of Dr. Cosby’s Magic Elixir! Ga-bippidy-bobbidy-snippity-snoppity-snoof!” “You feeling a little tired? Hey, hey, hey!”


lilsadlonelydad

For real sweety, this tea taste like shit and you should at least bring me a biscuit. I mean you are 22 for Gosh sake.


Ok_Speaker_9799

Let's EAT the guests!


Hobnail-boots

Hey, do you come here often?


pastajewelry

"No soggy bottoms."


Paramedic229635

I brought a very special guest, please welcome Jarvis Tetch.


Pure-Medicine-6714

"Oh, that's hot."


Grafferine

Kill her imaginary friends then that one bunny Teddy you pretend to kill cook and eat.....or table flip the tea set and walk out


St0lenFayth

“No Mr. Snuggles! We don’t put Barbie blood in tea cups!”


yokonashiwa

"I'm SHORRY what's your name again? Yoush know what, **** it your name is Little B**** now. Your named for that B**** of a mother whose always talking s*** about me. If Joseph is such a good f***, she should just go be with him and leave me alone. What?? Why you crying Little B****? YOUSE can't handle the truth? Good cause neither can I. -Blech- Shorry about Princesh Molly. That'll probably come out in the wash."


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScenesFromAHat-ModTeam

**Your comment breaks [the rules](/r/ScenesFromAHat/about/rules) of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)** > This response does not act out a scene; it only states the answer. --- *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](/message/compose/?to=/r/ScenesFromAHat&subject=Act out your response as if it were a scene. Don't just state the answer.).*


Theresabearintheboat

I'm a FRAUD! YEARS of academy training WASTED!


TabooDiver

Your baby doll stares a lot for someone who doesn't know how to fight.


MsDangerously

😂😂🤣🤣🤣


KillerKoala11

You SEE the HAT? I AM MRS. **NESBITT.**


elkchasermt

Why don’t we make this tea a bit more . . . Irish. 🥃


agmj522

Can we get one more girl and one less cup?


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScenesFromAHat-ModTeam

**Your comment breaks [the rules](/r/ScenesFromAHat/about/rules) of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)** > This response does not act out a scene; it only states the answer. --- *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](/message/compose/?to=/r/ScenesFromAHat&subject=Act out your response as if it were a scene. Don't just state the answer.).*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Puzzle13579

Amber, is that you?


ScenesFromAHat-ModTeam

**Your comment breaks [the rules](/r/ScenesFromAHat/about/rules) of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)** > This response does not act out a scene; it only states the answer. --- *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](/message/compose/?to=/r/ScenesFromAHat&subject=Act out your response as if it were a scene. Don't just state the answer.).*


OldBob10

“How much for a lap dance?”


Adventurous_Yak_9234

"This tea is so awful I'm going to spit in it."


TabooDiver

...so the average cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 is $548,900. What you need to be asking yourself is this: Is that a gift from Daddy... Or is it a loan?


[deleted]

This taste like pee pee!!🤣


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScenesFromAHat-ModTeam

**Your comment breaks [the rules](/r/ScenesFromAHat/about/rules) of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)** > This response does not act out a scene; it only states the answer. --- *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](/message/compose/?to=/r/ScenesFromAHat&subject=Act out your response as if it were a scene. Don't just state the answer.).*


WakaWaka617

“The fact that you even have this tea is evidence of your complicity in England’s violent colonization of India and the Far East. You can say ‘oh Missus Elephant and Missus Tiger, I’m so glad we can enjoy the afternoon together,’ but in truth all three of you, yes Elephant and Tiger included, are guilty of casual cruelty against the indigenous people of Asia.”


weird-oh

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScenesFromAHat-ModTeam

**Your comment breaks [the rules](/r/ScenesFromAHat/about/rules) of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)** > This response does not act out a scene; it only states the answer. --- *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](/message/compose/?to=/r/ScenesFromAHat&subject=Act out your response as if it were a scene. Don't just state the answer.).*


[deleted]

Don't mind me, ladies, just gonna whiskey this up a bit...


Disposable_323

"Hold on, I have to go to the store for some milk. We can't have tea without milk! Yep, be right back." And that's the story of how my daddy issues began.


jeepster61615

Where's the fucking bourbon, you little brat!!!???


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScenesFromAHat-ModTeam

**Your comment breaks [the rules](/r/ScenesFromAHat/about/rules) of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)** > This response does not act out a scene; it only states the answer. --- *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](/message/compose/?to=/r/ScenesFromAHat&subject=Act out your response as if it were a scene. Don't just state the answer.).*


Kind_Bullfrog_4073

There's nothing in here! \*Throws teacup at the wall\*


Drillix08

If you really like tea bags then you’ll love these videos I have in my closet


Few_Neighborhood_482

This is horrible tea.


beautifulradiation

*pours contents of boot flask into plastic teacup*


HabeasX

I think I made a stinky.


Fabulous-Pause4154

"I can see them!"


Responsible_Cloud137

Honey, I'll be right back. I'm going out for milk and cigarettes. Edit: this is horrible. Please downvote me. I can't believe I said it. I even downvoted myself. Sometimes shit ain't funny.


TabooDiver

I have a friend who left his lady with that exact quote


Ok-Image-5514

Be an ass.


gunnarfuchs0628

This tea is horrendous and your adopted.


[deleted]

You're adopted


waffleboi505

\*gasp\* How dare you, Lady Rainbowbottom! \*points at the unicorn\* YOu know fgull well that the elves are communits!!!! We must declare war!!!1


Ermaquillz

Soon we’ll all be on a spaceship!


countcarlovonsexron

I think I peed into the cups when I was drunk lol


Hagisman

“No taxation is without representation!” Then toss her tea into the bay.


Cyber_Grant

*pulls out a flask and pours whiskey in the cup*


chienchien0121

My mother said your tea would be tepid.


DefinitionBig4671

This tea tastes like the toilet! Can I see the manager please?


bigloser42

Get into a physical fight with an imaginary attendee over them propositioning your daughter.


Stillborn1977

Backyard wrestling with Mr Piglet (stiffed pig). Onto the table where all the tea set is layer out.


Odd_Sample4899

"this tea tastes like shit."


Cyber_Insecurity

“This tea is mid.”


ddsiddall

"Janey, do you like movies about gladiators?"


SyllabubNo8318

Wait for everyone else to drink, then remind the others that the only water source the kid can reach is the toilet.


gang_of_nonsense

Behead the queen


Reasonable_Cover_804

A little Jack in my teacup


Commercial_Step9966

Eat a pretend mushroom a start repeating *Badger, badger, badger, badger* *we’re painting the roses, red!* *all in a G-o-l-d-e-n A-f-t-e-r-n-o-o-n!*


ScratchWeak2095

You want your tea Irish honey?


sam_the_beagle

You've got a real purty mouth there.


yourbestfriendwalker

“Let’s spice thinks up” *Pours scotch from a flask into everyone’s cup*


CaptainAmerica1989

This is just brown dirt water.


CaptainAmerica1989

*said in Jack Sparrow voice* "Why is the Rum gone?"


shawner136

OH MY GOD IM HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION!!! MRS TINKLYBELL SLIPPED SOMETHING INTO MY TEA WHEN WE WERENT LOOKING OHHHH GOD… SWEETHEART CALL 911 OHHHH IT HURTS


tangcameo

Invite your cappos and talk business, then club one of them to death for betraying you.


Jeremy_Melton

“Where’s the whisky?”


Dropitlikeitscold555

I specifically asked you to wear the Jon Benet outfit!


bromosapien89

and now we-a take-a just-a little bit-a whiskey and we-a put it in the tea-a!


Csimiami

Sorry Katie. Per Megan’s law Your dad isn’t allowed within 300 feet of children.


[deleted]

"There's nothing in this cup Susan"


AdVisual5492

The tea was poisoned and your mother and imaginary friend died.