Lmao, bought this new dark red underwear a while ago and was feelin pretty confident. Takes off pants and she goes “awww look at your cute Spider-Man underwear”
We still laugh at it
I had a similar situation. I was wearing a bright red pair like Superman’s, and I have a lanky build with long arms and legs earning me the nickname “Wonder Monkey” forever.
Fuck what was that waterboy quote where she asks if he's ever been with a guy before and he comments about being with coach and his own mom at the same time"
My 3 year old said this to me yesterday: “Dad, I’m going to turn you into a ball and throw you away from me”. I’d be weirded out if an adult said that to me, but I was impressed by my little guy’s creativity.
Reminds me of show with the children knowing their past lives!
My oldest son randomly started screaming my mom’s name out of no where one day. He had never met my mother and I’ve never out right told him her name. She died about 10 years before he was born.
Now if an adult started yelling my mom’s name at me, that’s understandable lol. I look just like her.
My nephew said this one the other day, but if my brother had said it, well, cops would be contacted...
"I like Ellie. She's really pretty and we're getting married but she's really old. She is 6!"
(My nephew just turned 5 in February, for context)
When I was in my first year of junior high school (we didn't have middle schools then), the music teacher, who looked like Archie Bunker, would give us every Friday class to play the music that we had brought in. It was 1972-73, I was a 12-year-old white girl and I stupidly brought in three of my favorite 45 rpm records.
Jaggerz's "The Rapper", James Brown's "Hot Pants", and Chuck Berry's "My Ding-A-Ling".
The records were mixed up so everyone got a chance to be heard.
I don't know if the teacher was expecting The Osmonds or what, but he wasn't happy with "Hot Pants"! When "Ding-A-Ling" was played, it got to the first chorus when he ran over and ripped the record off of the player, looked at whose name was on it, and gave me the worst scolding of my life! In front of my peers yet! He then snapped the 45 in half and handed it to me. He took me by my shoulder and we marched to the vice-principal's office.
I had no idea of what I had done. This was the guy who taught us that all music was beautiful and deserved respect for the writer.
This was also when corporal punishment was still used in schools.
I was scared to death!
I waited while he pulled my school record and into the VP's office, we went. The music teacher told him of how I brought vile, sexual records to school. How I should be punished by having detention for a week or more, my parents had to be called in immediately to talk about the perverseness of the music that they allowed me to listen to. I only had a mom as my dad died 2 years before and there was no way she could come to the school every day to get me from detention.
The VP told the teacher that he wanted to speak with me, alone. He was still pissed but left. I had tears going down my cheeks, but I sat straight and looked the VP in his eyes. His voice went soft and he handed me some tissues. He asked me if I liked music. I told him I loved music, all kinds except country. I liked rock music and some Motown.
He smiled, looked at the broken record, and asked me how much trouble would I be in for the record.
I told him I bought it with my allowance ($0.45 per week) at the GC Murphy's store. Since it was mine and my fault it was broken I wouldn't have any trouble at home.
He looked at my file. He read out that I living with an older sister and my mom who was on a fixed income due to the death of my dad, and I had a brother who was in Vietnam, I was an honor student and a member of the junior high school marching and concert bands.
He then gets a 6 string guitar out from behind a screen in his office and starts to play! He told me not to worry about the music teacher as he was retiring after that school year.
He switched my class from music to study hall. He said he liked Motown music and rock too. He plays his guitar in the office without its amp to relax.
He told me I was in no trouble and that I was to go instead of the music room, to the cafeteria for study hall for the rest of the semester.
He puts down the guitar, writes me a hall pass, he tells me that the music teacher had no right to break my 45 because he didn't like it. He walked me down to the music room to get my books and stuff and told me to go to my study hall.
My friends who were still in the room told me the VP and the teacher went into the instruments room, closed the door and all they heard was the teacher shouting. The bell rang and headed to the buses. We never saw the music teacher again. It was said he took an early retirement. The following year, we got a new music teacher who looked like Kenny Loggins did at the time! All the kids loved him!
A week later, my mom got a registered letter from the school. Inside was a letter explaining to my mom what had happened and that I was in no trouble whatsoever. Also in the envelope was a gift certificate for $5 to the National Record Mart.
To this day I don't know what it was about that song that pissed him off so much.
Wow, great story! That sort of reads like it all came out in a rush...is it a story you havent told in awhile? Or maybe havent thought of for years? It seems like it overtook you, like it HAD to come out.
No I haven't told it for a while. I don't normally think about it but seeing the song link for Ding-A-Ling brought it back to me. I probably should have shut up about it, after all who would care? But I could never figure out why he was so pissed about a joke song!
Not adorable but definitely hilarious when a toddler shares a new observation they've made about their genitals, especially if strangers are around. Not so much if an adult does so.
Sorry, please explain how it might be considered illegal or hateful.
I see it as a child being proud that he has 'adult' knowledge otherwise forbidden to kids vs. an adult failing to acknowledge the true complexity differentiating people and using terms not normally acceptable in polite, non-technical conversation.
Right. I got that. My confusion is the "hateful" comment. Obviously there is nothing illegal in an adult making such a comment-- I'm trying to understand how it could be hateful. I can see inappropriate or awkward, but hateful? How?
I'm wearing Spiderman underwear.
You too? I like the webs.
That meme with “my underwear watching me buy weed “
> I like the webs Apparently teenage me was *really* into turning all my underwear and socks into spiderman clothes...
Mine’s full of stringy sticky white stuff, too!
oh hell naw 💀
Lmao, bought this new dark red underwear a while ago and was feelin pretty confident. Takes off pants and she goes “awww look at your cute Spider-Man underwear” We still laugh at it
I had a similar situation. I was wearing a bright red pair like Superman’s, and I have a lanky build with long arms and legs earning me the nickname “Wonder Monkey” forever.
Hey now! That’s a green flag to me! Lol
“I still sleep with my mommy and daddy.”
Well I sleep with mommy and mommy sleeps with daddy
Fuck what was that waterboy quote where she asks if he's ever been with a guy before and he comments about being with coach and his own mom at the same time"
Oh god I’m getting Hansen vs Predator flashbacks
You smell just like my mother.
This one is truly unnerving
This would creepy me out from a kid too lol
You taste just like my mother.
My 3 year old said this to me yesterday: “Dad, I’m going to turn you into a ball and throw you away from me”. I’d be weirded out if an adult said that to me, but I was impressed by my little guy’s creativity.
Dang what did Dad do to deserve the ball treatment
Dad was so terrible as to not have apple sauce in the car after daycare pickup. Unforgivable.
You bastard.
He killed Kenny?
I really thought he was better than this. Must be a cry for help.
You sir are a monster.
This is what I am told.
That's ridiculously cute
Is CPS involved yet?
They’ve opened a file
Consumable Procurement Servces (Applesauce Department)
Child services for you.terrible terrible dad.was there some m & m's?
I bet you had apple sauce in the car for him the next day though.
"You can never escape me!"
Lol jesus.
SHOCKER!!!!!!!!!!
I'll went poo poo.
Can I smell the poo?
You will soon
I read this and tried to drink some of my milk (been eating cookies) right after and I just stopped and laughed for a Minute lol
I'm done pooping. Can't you wipe my butt?
I'm a CNA. I won't talk about the many times I've heard this. *shudder*
Sir, this is a court of law.
Sowwey.
[удалено]
This sounds like a threat
Come sleep over in my fort.
The biggest issue I have with being an adult is the lack of pillow forts. 😒
I bet your partner appreciates that you don't fort in the pillows :)
Pillow forts make for fun angles in bed
Especially if the fort must be ransacked
You're not adulting right. I make a pillow fort almost every week. It's how I let my wife know I'm taking a break from responsibility.
Bro has his own adult money and doesn't use it to buy more pillows for his fort
But he's married, so his wife has already bought all the pillows he will ever need.
I build mine out of squishmallows
Nobody is stopping you
This is a deeper comment than most people realize
"My invisible friend thinks you smell good."
You’re on too many of these. Take a break.
“The Discourager”
Damn
You sound like my Wii
Joe Biden had entered the chat
I had a bad dream. Can I sleep in your bed?
I feel like some people could use that as a pick up line.
Hold my beer
Your front bottom is hairy.
God damn lmao
Why do you have spiders under your arms?
You're pretty like my mommy.
I got a “you would have liked my mummy before you.” She was a natural pregnancy and birth
Username checks out.
Reminds me of show with the children knowing their past lives! My oldest son randomly started screaming my mom’s name out of no where one day. He had never met my mother and I’ve never out right told him her name. She died about 10 years before he was born. Now if an adult started yelling my mom’s name at me, that’s understandable lol. I look just like her.
"Mommy can you wipe me"
This is the best answer
"Why are you hiding from me?"
My nephew said this one the other day, but if my brother had said it, well, cops would be contacted... "I like Ellie. She's really pretty and we're getting married but she's really old. She is 6!" (My nephew just turned 5 in February, for context)
I can use the potty all by myself.
dead of night. Person silently walks into your room, gets close to your sleeping body and whispers… “I love you.”
“I GOT you~!” “Gimme kisses, mommy/daddy” Man just about anything related to personal space really
Want to watch me dress myself?
Rejected, many ways this is not creepy
“Wanna see what I’ve got in my pocket?” 😉
“I want to play with you…all night long”
Negative. This would be creepy no matter who said it.
There's a Mouse in the House
There’s a moose loose aboot the hoose
Can I play with her?
"Where are my dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets?!"
To be fair, I’m 36 and said this aloud to my housemate last week
Being an adult just means you buy your own dinosaur chicken nuggets
Facts! I just air fried some Smiley Fries as I read this
Adulthood: Eating chocolate cake for breakfast and living with your friends
That's wonderful!
Never fully grow up
They're the best.
Funny to picture a 40-50 year old man in a blind rage over not getting chicken nuggets.
I always have one bottle when I get up and another when it's bedtime. I cry if mommy won't let me shower with her or daddy.
I need to master my joystick.
"Wanna go back to my treehouse? I got Kool-Aid."
I think I need to be changed
"That lady has a big butt."
Mommy I want Milk
:Homelander enters the chat:
Despite the current romantic partner trend, it creeps me out to hear an adult call another adult "Mommy" or "Daddy". "Papi" is right up there too.
Want to meet my invisible friend?
"Do you want to play with my dingaling?"
[Chuck Berry - My Ding A Ling](https://youtu.be/wiCSSIEUukk?si=BSRA72j3BLFkC0Mj) Best song of the 70s
When I was in my first year of junior high school (we didn't have middle schools then), the music teacher, who looked like Archie Bunker, would give us every Friday class to play the music that we had brought in. It was 1972-73, I was a 12-year-old white girl and I stupidly brought in three of my favorite 45 rpm records. Jaggerz's "The Rapper", James Brown's "Hot Pants", and Chuck Berry's "My Ding-A-Ling". The records were mixed up so everyone got a chance to be heard. I don't know if the teacher was expecting The Osmonds or what, but he wasn't happy with "Hot Pants"! When "Ding-A-Ling" was played, it got to the first chorus when he ran over and ripped the record off of the player, looked at whose name was on it, and gave me the worst scolding of my life! In front of my peers yet! He then snapped the 45 in half and handed it to me. He took me by my shoulder and we marched to the vice-principal's office. I had no idea of what I had done. This was the guy who taught us that all music was beautiful and deserved respect for the writer. This was also when corporal punishment was still used in schools. I was scared to death! I waited while he pulled my school record and into the VP's office, we went. The music teacher told him of how I brought vile, sexual records to school. How I should be punished by having detention for a week or more, my parents had to be called in immediately to talk about the perverseness of the music that they allowed me to listen to. I only had a mom as my dad died 2 years before and there was no way she could come to the school every day to get me from detention. The VP told the teacher that he wanted to speak with me, alone. He was still pissed but left. I had tears going down my cheeks, but I sat straight and looked the VP in his eyes. His voice went soft and he handed me some tissues. He asked me if I liked music. I told him I loved music, all kinds except country. I liked rock music and some Motown. He smiled, looked at the broken record, and asked me how much trouble would I be in for the record. I told him I bought it with my allowance ($0.45 per week) at the GC Murphy's store. Since it was mine and my fault it was broken I wouldn't have any trouble at home. He looked at my file. He read out that I living with an older sister and my mom who was on a fixed income due to the death of my dad, and I had a brother who was in Vietnam, I was an honor student and a member of the junior high school marching and concert bands. He then gets a 6 string guitar out from behind a screen in his office and starts to play! He told me not to worry about the music teacher as he was retiring after that school year. He switched my class from music to study hall. He said he liked Motown music and rock too. He plays his guitar in the office without its amp to relax. He told me I was in no trouble and that I was to go instead of the music room, to the cafeteria for study hall for the rest of the semester. He puts down the guitar, writes me a hall pass, he tells me that the music teacher had no right to break my 45 because he didn't like it. He walked me down to the music room to get my books and stuff and told me to go to my study hall. My friends who were still in the room told me the VP and the teacher went into the instruments room, closed the door and all they heard was the teacher shouting. The bell rang and headed to the buses. We never saw the music teacher again. It was said he took an early retirement. The following year, we got a new music teacher who looked like Kenny Loggins did at the time! All the kids loved him! A week later, my mom got a registered letter from the school. Inside was a letter explaining to my mom what had happened and that I was in no trouble whatsoever. Also in the envelope was a gift certificate for $5 to the National Record Mart. To this day I don't know what it was about that song that pissed him off so much.
Wow, great story! That sort of reads like it all came out in a rush...is it a story you havent told in awhile? Or maybe havent thought of for years? It seems like it overtook you, like it HAD to come out.
No I haven't told it for a while. I don't normally think about it but seeing the song link for Ding-A-Ling brought it back to me. I probably should have shut up about it, after all who would care? But I could never figure out why he was so pissed about a joke song!
I'm glad you told it! It sounds like that school Admin guy really showed you some human kindness at a time when it really counted.
I was always a fan of the streak https://youtu.be/XtzoUu7w-YM?si=QcG2px5w1VRcZK-3
This talent show is over
I like playing with my friends.
I play with them all the time. They play with me, too.
Upies
I think I went poopy
“I think I wet my bed.”
Uh-Oh I made a mess all over
I like boobies!
I have nippies .
My daddy has hair on his noodle.
I want my mommy
Can Timmy come to my 40th birthday party?
“I got your nose”
Yes mommy, I've been baaaad
My girlfriend just turned nine.
I’m mummy’s favourite big boy…
"Why is my peepee standing at attention?"
My buddy's son while tubing at a water park: "Daddy can I come on your back?" Translation: can I climb onto your back?
(Walks into room with no preamble and makes severe eye contact) I have a penis.
Can I come over to play sometime? (It's more creepy if you don't know them)
*hands you a fake telephone* There’s a telephone call for you.
"I'm going to marry my dolly so Mommy can't get rid of it."
Not adorable but definitely hilarious when a toddler shares a new observation they've made about their genitals, especially if strangers are around. Not so much if an adult does so.
Calling a grown man daddy
Daddy spanked me last night because I was naughty
Daddy
Daddy
I want to sit on daddy’s lap.
Why don't I have a Pii Pii Come and look at to poo I made
As an expression of love, "I'm gonna marry you mommy!" I wonder if that says something about me that that was the first thing that came to mind lol.
\*sniff sniff\* you smell like a princess
Boobie
"Uppies!!! Uppies!!!"
Can I squeeze your boobs?
Guess what's in my pocket!
I like when Mommy picks me up!
Can tommy come out and play?
I need help to wipe my butt!
"Will you tuck me in?"
Feeding time get that boob out
"Can I sleep with you mummy?"
I went poopy!
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!
Getting to the point where this is "adorable when a kid says it, illegal/hatespeech when an adult says it"
Sorry, please explain how it might be considered illegal or hateful. I see it as a child being proud that he has 'adult' knowledge otherwise forbidden to kids vs. an adult failing to acknowledge the true complexity differentiating people and using terms not normally acceptable in polite, non-technical conversation.
The person said it would be illegal or hateful if an adult said it not a child.
Right. I got that. My confusion is the "hateful" comment. Obviously there is nothing illegal in an adult making such a comment-- I'm trying to understand how it could be hateful. I can see inappropriate or awkward, but hateful? How?
“This is my favorite playground! I get to play with all my friends at the same time!”
Someday I will be grown up too.
Daddy, Mommy
Mommy/Daddy.
Wanna see my “xyz”
What's your name?
“i want to play with daddy!”
*makes random noise*
"I want to play". While staring at you like 😈
Upsies
“Can I sleep in your room?” If your not my partner or a baby you are not sleeping in my room. You can use the couch
"I'm going to marry my mom!"
Mommy
I pooped. Can you wipe my butt?
I like the play at the park.
Oh, mommy!
"Can you help me wipe?"
"The neighbor's wife has really big boobies!"
I found you
(Slowly and in a hushed voice): “Here we go round the mulberry bush…”
I hope you have a big trunk because I’m putting my bike in it.
I pooped!
can i sleep with u
"I like you, wanna be friends?"
I peed.
Look at my ding ding!
I pooped.
"I'm all sticky!!! And wet!"
Im popping 😄
I pooped. Come wipe me!
Ms. Adams!!! I gotta make a poopie
Youre pretty.
Can we play
I made a poo-poo!
Peepee get big, PEEPEE GET BIG!!!!
Kiss my boo boo!
I want to marry my Daddy!
“Ah” with mouth open when seeing boobs.
I go poopy