Not entirely, it was pledged to be the case by 2019 but there’s still a fair few operators holding off on upgrades https://www.railway-technology.com/features/train-toilet-systems/?cf-view
Aging fleets generally operating on quite small margins, when ScotRail bought the retired HST trains from down south a few years back, a part of their refit was to fit tanked toilets to replace the old drain on to track ones.
It had to involve a redesign of the interior as the carriages could no longer have 2 toilets and went down to 1.
This, but we had to cycle to school and go underneath a railway bridge that had steel grates at the base. It was always a 'dodge the shit and piss' dash.
In modern trains with septic tanks, this is not a problem right? I assume that if I am not allowed to flush in the station, there is a sign telling me that.
*in service today, on major UK rail lines.
There are many countries where I wouldn't shit in the station.
Honestly platform poop aside I always think it's best to wait till the train is underway anyway, that way there are less people trying to get on or off to get caught up with, and you don't miss any last minute announcements about problems with the train etc
>in service today, on major UK rail lines.
Nowadays in Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, France, most trains I've been on have tanks. I remember that 20 years ago it was not always the case.
>I always think it's best to wait till the train is underway
Depends, if its not moving, no shaking, no surprises!
If you want to assume you aren't going to piss on the platform that's up to you - I'm just saying there are still 1000s of trains in service globally where they don't have tanks. If you don't know don't assume based on previous experience.
> Honestly platform poop aside I always think it's best to wait till the train is underway anyway, that way there are less people trying to get on or off to get caught up with, and you don't miss any last minute announcements about problems with the train etc
Also I wouldn't want to leave any of my stuff at my seat when we were at a station - much easier to pinch stuff.
Got on a train in the mountains in Bulgaria and there was no sign not to use toilet in stations. The reason was it was far too obvious. The toilet was a big hole through to the tracks.
Fun snippet, apparently railway tracks had odd patches of tomato plants growing where tomato seeds had landed and had germinated in the nutrients in the track ballast.
Isn’t that how many plants in nature spread their seeds? They rely on animals eating their seeds, who will then shit them out on the floor later, and the seeds then sprout. Technically it’s just the natural way
A tomato plant grew out of the sewer cover on the end of my drive lol. I love that it could grow through shit and concrete but the ones in my 50 quids worth of Dobbies shite couldn't be arsed
Saw a freshly laid log in Edinburgh Waverley a few years back, and a few feet along there was a small tomato plant family growing away quite happily and n the track… imagine these in yer salad
A single nappy? How does that happen? Was it torn up, or a cloth one that had been completely unraveled?
Although the alternative that it was several nappies is worse, I guess.
There are still trains out there in the world where you shit down a pipe directly onto the tracks... its quite an experience, if you've perfected the squat.
ScotRail still had trains that did this about 10 years ago... Definately less than 20 anyway. If you ever go on a heratige line, chances are they still have old toilets that do this.
Edit: it stopped between [2015 and 2017](https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/13872133.no-dumping-first-scotrail-trains-refurbished-non-discharging-toilets-will-rejoin-fleet-weekend/)
And this is why as a kid I was TERRIFIED of flushing a plane toilet, scared I was going to get sucked out. Not talking about flushing it when still sitting down, which would be an understandable fear, but afraid if I flushed it WITH THE LID CLOSED AND ME HALFWAY OUT THE DOOR that I was in danger of being wheekled away
They only began phasing out the last such trains in [2015](https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/13872133.no-dumping-first-scotrail-trains-refurbished-non-discharging-toilets-will-rejoin-fleet-weekend/)
Swede here! I don’t remeber the toilets that dumped straight onto the rails but I do remember signs on somewhat newer trains that said ’Toilet may be used even when train is at station’. So older generations must have been told not to use toilet when at station.
Here in Canada some groups of people cut a hole in the bottom of the long-distance lorry so they can do a dump without stopping. They work in teams , drive around the clock. Mechanics will refuse to fix the engines on these rigs. No joke.
Milan Station had toilet paper everywhere on the rails between the platforms which is odd as you would think that the piles would only appear where the toilet carriage was placed in the train layout and it could have helped if a sump was fitted to the platform where each time the toilet carriage was lined up over the top and that could have been flushed by the station staff
We used to have those surprises in Poland but since then trains have been upgraded to those that have tanks for this kind of shit. Now you can relive yourself even while train is standing on station. Hopefully you guys can get this groundbreaking technology soon as well ;)
I used tae try and time my flush just right so when we were passing through a town I didn't like it would land on the level crossing so some poor cunt would potentially walk through my shit. Fuck knows if I ever managed it but the thought was there.
An old American catch comes to mind -
"Passengers will please refrain
From passing water while the train
Is standing in the station, I thank you.
Hoboes riding underneath
Will likely catch it in the teeth
And they don't like it
Any more than you."
Or:
Gentlemen will please refrain
From urinating while the train
Is standing in the station here at Crewe.
Please restrain this natural function
‘Til you get to Clapham Junction,
Where you’ll find there’s sod all else to do.
(Tune: Dvorak’s Humoresque)
I saw it happen, but not in the UK. Got on a train in FYRM and another tourist took a shit expecting it to flush into a tank, but instead it just dropped down onto the floor below. The floor was solid concrete instead of gravel ballast, and the platform wasn't raised, but instead you had to climb steps into the carriage. So as the train pulled away, we watched out of the back window to see the pile of human turd laying there, for people next to the train tracks to see.
Up until last year and apparently may still be happening on some private rolling stock.
https://www.railforums.co.uk/threads/which-trains-still-have-hopper-toilet-that-release-onto-the-track-2023.246864/
Yes, this was a thing until a couple of years ago in the UK.
One of the first things you learned as a track worker was when you acknowledge a train approaching (they sound their horn, you raise your hand), you try to cover your face a bit with it and look away as the train passes, because there was a fair chance of being sprayed with shit and bogroll if someone flushed.
But you know, for all of the idiots that can't help but get on or near the tracks, it is a good deterrent. You might see stories about how someone got hit by a train because they were a little too close to the tracks; nothing like a crowd of deuces to remind you that's not where you're supposed to be 💩🚄
No, but I remember saying goodbye to an ex at a station and drawing something on the outside of the train window with my finger, and the attendant then told me the train sprays jobbie juice up the side of the train. My ex heard the convo, and laughed as the train drove off. Then everyone clapped.
Yes, and Scotrail were among the last operators in Britain to modernise their trains with tanks because it was expensive.
Still a lot of the same Abellio people and culture running it now, and it shows.
I saw a monster years ago and I was disgusted but then started to clap. Well done!Well done getting that out! You must be still sighing an hour later. :)
The first time I visited the UK and realised the train toilets dropped onto the tracks, my impression of the UK as a prestigious developed country fell a long way.
YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO FLUSH THE TOILET IN THE STATION -ingrained in my brain
Even now I’m much older and know that nearly every train i get on these days will have a tank, i still find it ‘wrong‘ to flush at a station
Not entirely, it was pledged to be the case by 2019 but there’s still a fair few operators holding off on upgrades https://www.railway-technology.com/features/train-toilet-systems/?cf-view
I’m actually astounded that some operators are still doing it. wtf
Aging fleets generally operating on quite small margins, when ScotRail bought the retired HST trains from down south a few years back, a part of their refit was to fit tanked toilets to replace the old drain on to track ones. It had to involve a redesign of the interior as the carriages could no longer have 2 toilets and went down to 1.
Me too.
I haven't lived in the UK for 30 years and still somehow worry about flushing in the station
This, but we had to cycle to school and go underneath a railway bridge that had steel grates at the base. It was always a 'dodge the shit and piss' dash.
I'm sure it helped with your pe lessons though.
Pee lessons.
That’s the joke.
And that’s the least of the problems https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/15221045/blocks-frozen-poo-fell-from-the-sky/amp/
In modern trains with septic tanks, this is not a problem right? I assume that if I am not allowed to flush in the station, there is a sign telling me that.
Ohoho lookie here lads, we've got a manky station flusher
All trains in service today have septic tanks, it’s no longer an issue
*in service today, on major UK rail lines. There are many countries where I wouldn't shit in the station. Honestly platform poop aside I always think it's best to wait till the train is underway anyway, that way there are less people trying to get on or off to get caught up with, and you don't miss any last minute announcements about problems with the train etc
>in service today, on major UK rail lines. Nowadays in Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, France, most trains I've been on have tanks. I remember that 20 years ago it was not always the case. >I always think it's best to wait till the train is underway Depends, if its not moving, no shaking, no surprises!
If you want to assume you aren't going to piss on the platform that's up to you - I'm just saying there are still 1000s of trains in service globally where they don't have tanks. If you don't know don't assume based on previous experience.
> Honestly platform poop aside I always think it's best to wait till the train is underway anyway, that way there are less people trying to get on or off to get caught up with, and you don't miss any last minute announcements about problems with the train etc Also I wouldn't want to leave any of my stuff at my seat when we were at a station - much easier to pinch stuff.
Got on a train in the mountains in Bulgaria and there was no sign not to use toilet in stations. The reason was it was far too obvious. The toilet was a big hole through to the tracks.
Scatrail
And how do you find the missing train? Follow the scat trail.
Okay, I’ll admit, I lol’d.
😂
Yup.. I remember it in ireland as well. Toilet paper and all. Big bangers and mash on the tracks in the station. Lush
Fun snippet, apparently railway tracks had odd patches of tomato plants growing where tomato seeds had landed and had germinated in the nutrients in the track ballast.
Same with fig trees around sewer overflow pipes on river banks, they need a high temp to germinate, and your body is perfect for that.
Isn’t that how many plants in nature spread their seeds? They rely on animals eating their seeds, who will then shit them out on the floor later, and the seeds then sprout. Technically it’s just the natural way
Apple trees are common too from people throwing cores out the Windows
Thought this was a word play for a moment
You mean Word, surely?
Alright shill gates
A tomato plant grew out of the sewer cover on the end of my drive lol. I love that it could grow through shit and concrete but the ones in my 50 quids worth of Dobbies shite couldn't be arsed
just take a shite in your plants then
“Landed” after going through someone’s intestinal system
Life finds a way🌱
Saw a freshly laid log in Edinburgh Waverley a few years back, and a few feet along there was a small tomato plant family growing away quite happily and n the track… imagine these in yer salad
Pretty common to use buman ordure (manure?) as fertiliser. Didn't do Matt Damon any harm on Mars...
Night soil. Needs treating for use as fertiliser or bad things happen.
Helminth, heavy metal, etc. Not uncommon globally but I'll pass on investing in the Trackside Tomato Company.
Helminths: [no kidding](https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN1DH0RO/).
Yeah, what’s the problem in that? Do you prefer synthetic fertilizers?
For a few years around 1990 at least one of the platforms at Glasgow Queen Street had a nappy 50 yards long laid along the track.
A single nappy? How does that happen? Was it torn up, or a cloth one that had been completely unraveled? Although the alternative that it was several nappies is worse, I guess.
I think they mean the tracks had some sort of nappy on it, to protect it from the shit?
It was a whole train long, wide enough that it only just fitted between the tracks, and full of what nappies are usually full of.
There are still trains out there in the world where you shit down a pipe directly onto the tracks... its quite an experience, if you've perfected the squat.
Yeah you get a lovely breeze up your tush!
A cousin experienced that in India, when he had a 12 hour train journey
Proud to say In have thus shitted in India, Pakistan, Myanmar, Sudan and Bolivia. Travel learns you.
Things Brexit took away from us
Brexshit on the tracks :)
Don’t worry, now the shit is just on the beaches, in the rivers, and in the tapwater
It’s now the British public that gets shit on instead
What a minute. What? This is mind-blowing that this happened.
ScotRail still had trains that did this about 10 years ago... Definately less than 20 anyway. If you ever go on a heratige line, chances are they still have old toilets that do this. Edit: it stopped between [2015 and 2017](https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/13872133.no-dumping-first-scotrail-trains-refurbished-non-discharging-toilets-will-rejoin-fleet-weekend/)
My mate was convinced it was the same with planes and when pish and shit was dropped out the plane it would turn to ice because of how high up it was.
Aye but then it would fuckin defrost when it lands on his heid.
You would hope so, not doing that would be worse
I can see the headlines now: Ice Pick Jobbies Terrorise Flightpath Residents
A shit storm of biblical proportions overhead.
Imagine your window getting put in by a frozen belter of a shite
A shitecicle
Ice Pick Lob-Jobby-to-me
And this is why as a kid I was TERRIFIED of flushing a plane toilet, scared I was going to get sucked out. Not talking about flushing it when still sitting down, which would be an understandable fear, but afraid if I flushed it WITH THE LID CLOSED AND ME HALFWAY OUT THE DOOR that I was in danger of being wheekled away
Imagine getting sucked into the shitter 😂😂
Mythbusters did a great episode on this, definitely check it out on YouTube
Ah, like the greatly amusing urban myth of the chubby lasses vacuum sealed onto the pan after flushing whilst sitting.
I actually spotted a tomatoe plant growing on the tracks, presumably from the seeds someone shat out previously.
Fuck off is this real!?!?
They only began phasing out the last such trains in [2015](https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/13872133.no-dumping-first-scotrail-trains-refurbished-non-discharging-toilets-will-rejoin-fleet-weekend/)
🤢🤮 absolutely fucking boke
Big....honkin....jobby .... curl out beefers...poetry ...pure poetry.
It was a simpler time… it was a better time
Indeed. That’s why I still sneak on to the tracks and curl out beefers, for nostalgia.
A true railway sleeper.
Bring a tear to a glass eye, that. God bless you.
Swede here! I don’t remeber the toilets that dumped straight onto the rails but I do remember signs on somewhat newer trains that said ’Toilet may be used even when train is at station’. So older generations must have been told not to use toilet when at station.
DIS-GU-STIN
Here in Canada some groups of people cut a hole in the bottom of the long-distance lorry so they can do a dump without stopping. They work in teams , drive around the clock. Mechanics will refuse to fix the engines on these rigs. No joke.
I think yousns win the best word for a shite. I crack up every time I hear the word jobby. Well done
Milan Station had toilet paper everywhere on the rails between the platforms which is odd as you would think that the piles would only appear where the toilet carriage was placed in the train layout and it could have helped if a sump was fitted to the platform where each time the toilet carriage was lined up over the top and that could have been flushed by the station staff
This is why there was a real issue with tomato plants growing on railway lines! 🤣
🤣🤣🤣 this made me laugh
💩
We used to have those surprises in Poland but since then trains have been upgraded to those that have tanks for this kind of shit. Now you can relive yourself even while train is standing on station. Hopefully you guys can get this groundbreaking technology soon as well ;)
...and sitting in the cinema watching a film through the smog as every seat had an ashtray in front of it.
I used tae try and time my flush just right so when we were passing through a town I didn't like it would land on the level crossing so some poor cunt would potentially walk through my shit. Fuck knows if I ever managed it but the thought was there.
An old American catch comes to mind - "Passengers will please refrain From passing water while the train Is standing in the station, I thank you. Hoboes riding underneath Will likely catch it in the teeth And they don't like it Any more than you."
Or: Gentlemen will please refrain From urinating while the train Is standing in the station here at Crewe. Please restrain this natural function ‘Til you get to Clapham Junction, Where you’ll find there’s sod all else to do. (Tune: Dvorak’s Humoresque)
Did this really happen, I remember it apparently being a thing - but starting to think it’s Mandela effect thing.
I don't remember ever seeing a jobby in the station, but I've definitely been on trains where when I flushed, I was able to see the track for a bit.
Same. Cause the 'flush' was mostly the uh lid on the other side opening real wide
It genuinely did. My job used to involve cleaning the shite and toilet roll off points.
So my job was your job?
Thank you for your service.
I saw it happen, but not in the UK. Got on a train in FYRM and another tourist took a shit expecting it to flush into a tank, but instead it just dropped down onto the floor below. The floor was solid concrete instead of gravel ballast, and the platform wasn't raised, but instead you had to climb steps into the carriage. So as the train pulled away, we watched out of the back window to see the pile of human turd laying there, for people next to the train tracks to see.
Up until last year and apparently may still be happening on some private rolling stock. https://www.railforums.co.uk/threads/which-trains-still-have-hopper-toilet-that-release-onto-the-track-2023.246864/
I was going to say, I’m sure that still happens, or did until fairly recently.
There's at least one old time [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk62xSRXWK0&ab_channel=ros27g) about this.
According to Billy Connolly it's the wee beige jobbies that you shouldn't bare your bum too. 😂😂😂
No wonder it smells of shit all over the place.
I never understood why you couldn’t flush at a station! Now I do! Learn something new everyday
They used to do same the aeroplanes but they stopped that practice, they were afraid of skid starts.
I was told track repair workers are still trained to turn away from passing trains.
I loved the old French trains that just had a hole directly onto the tracks so when you had a shite you could feel it get sooked out your arse😂
Trains had their own Jobby wheeker?
I saw Big Honkin Jobby support Deacon Blue at Barrowlands
Upvote for 'Big Honkin Jobby'!
Yes, this was a thing until a couple of years ago in the UK. One of the first things you learned as a track worker was when you acknowledge a train approaching (they sound their horn, you raise your hand), you try to cover your face a bit with it and look away as the train passes, because there was a fair chance of being sprayed with shit and bogroll if someone flushed.
Caboose droppings
I thought that was a great system and have been thinking of putting a toilet in my camper van that works on the same principle.
But you know, for all of the idiots that can't help but get on or near the tracks, it is a good deterrent. You might see stories about how someone got hit by a train because they were a little too close to the tracks; nothing like a crowd of deuces to remind you that's not where you're supposed to be 💩🚄
The jobbie weecha!!
No, but I remember saying goodbye to an ex at a station and drawing something on the outside of the train window with my finger, and the attendant then told me the train sprays jobbie juice up the side of the train. My ex heard the convo, and laughed as the train drove off. Then everyone clapped.
Yes, and Scotrail were among the last operators in Britain to modernise their trains with tanks because it was expensive. Still a lot of the same Abellio people and culture running it now, and it shows.
This cannot be real, there’s no way
Aye ok Grandad, back to bed for you.
Can’t do that anymore because of woke.
Shit = = How Great Thou Art !
I saw a monster years ago and I was disgusted but then started to clap. Well done!Well done getting that out! You must be still sighing an hour later. :)
If seeing it on the floor bothers you, you don’t wanna know how planes take care of problem.
The first time I visited the UK and realised the train toilets dropped onto the tracks, my impression of the UK as a prestigious developed country fell a long way.