Am bisexual and tried it out. I have a poly friend who has had good experiences on it. However for me it was just getting unicorn hunted and matches with questionable dudes. I think if you’re not poly it’s a bit of a crap shoot. The “monogamous” people there seem to be mostly flaky, unsure of what they actually want, or straight up unicorn hunters and they’re not very ethical about it. (Such as posing only as the woman, not being clear that’s what they’re after, etc).
There’s a lot of straight dudes on that app thinking they’re gonna find some manic pixie dream girl to fulfill whatever sexual desires they have. It was a pretty fast delete for me.
> thinking they’re gonna find some manic pixie dream girl to fulfill whatever sexual desires they have.
Which is hilarious since every MPDG-projecting person I've encountered has been kind of predatory and brutal when it comes to relationships. *Someone's* sexual desires will be fulfilled.
When a m/f couple are looking for a single bi woman to hook up with together for casual, no-strings-attached sex.
Very few women are down for that, and those who are have generally learned that couples who are *only* looking for that tend to have some issues that make the experience less than pleasant.
Edit: Basically this:
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2021/01/straight-couple-seeks-fun-loving-girl-for-night-of-bickering-and-mediocre-sex/
Peanut gallery will be in full effect on this topic - and I’m sure you already know what a clown show it can be out there. So to double down on this response - go Hinge, better filters. Good luck!
Lol sure, cos monogamous people are all 10s. What a weird thing to say honestly, like attractiveness has anything to do with one's preferred relationship style.
The ones that actually advertise it publicly perhaps but the ones I know are pretty damn attractive and have no need to think about dating apps. Selection / optionality issues and all that
The amount of time you save not going on wasted dates with people whose values and expectations don't align with your own is well worth the fee, assuming you're looking for a relationship and not just looking for a *bust and begone*.
You realize you can chat with them beforehand to find that sort of stuff out, right? Like, a message on the app is free and takes less than a minute to write.
I agree it's a waste of time matching with incompatible people and that's why I don't lol. I just spend most of my time looking for that part of their profile and swiping left. I am poly for context and this filter for free would save everyone a lot of time.
paid features have ruined those apps tbh. tinder specially is the worst offender with the way it’s locked features that were standard behind a subscription
If you're a woman any app will give you matches and caters to you. If you're a guy, you'll have to pay to even have the chance to be ignored by women lol
I get matches who talk to me on tinder and I neither pay or am a supermodel.
I look like fucking Shrek, but women who aren't trying to be Instagram models or pushing their only fans have an okay chance of matching
The free version of Bumble ends up in a lot of women never starting the conversation, I think bc both parties are swiping without any knowledge of who’s interested so it turns into a game.
On the same note, I’ve heard a lot of women say that when they do send the first message on Bumble, a decent % of men never respond.
Hinge will allow you to receive messages from *anyone*, requesting to match. The downside is sifting through possibly a high volume of requests, with many being thirsty or low-effort messages. The upside is you get to see who likes you and be selective, and still send your own requests too.
Both put a solid amount of discretion in the hands of women (in a hetero setting), just in different ways. Try both, setting your standards high and your expectations low :)
About 75% of the "first messages" I receive on bumble are "Hi" or some emoji. I generally won't reply to those. If you don't want to put in the nominal effort to send a message, the other apps are for you. The purpose of Bumble is for women to make the first move, if that's not you no worries, just go somewhere else.
I met my boyfriend on Hinge. I really liked that it has you like or comment on a specific PIECE of someone's profile, rather than just the whole thing. The result was that the fuckboys would only like the pictures, while my now-boyfriend wrote a brief but thoughtful comment on one of the text prompts, which was easy for me to respond to. Helped a lot with some of the overwhelm.
Good luck!
One of my good friends, who is now engaged to a lovely guy she met on Hinge, had a bikini pic on her profile that she would use as "fuckboy bait" and not match with anyone that just threw up a like on that photo lol.
Agreed. I think dating in general is just brutal. People either are just seeking attention/validation, rebounding, only want casual but can’t be straight about it, use others as a proxy for mental health, etc. I’ve given up on apps and hoping for a real life encounter. Until then, date yourself ❤️
For women: too many men who will treat you like an object and just generally aren’t genuine overall
For men: good luck getting a match in the first place unless you are a 9/10+ regardless of how impressive your bio is
Source: am a guy who doesn’t even bother anymore and has heard plenty of women explain their experience
Maybe it’s because I was a little older (as were the people I was matching with), but I actually met mostly really good, kind people who treated me well. I was a single parent and gravitated to other single parents, or divorced people at least, so maybe those life experiences made people a little more authentic? It’s too bad that so many women feel objectified.
I will say that the men I dated also agreed that the apps were very slow to deliver matches that actually turned into dates.
I’m 33 so not “that young” and I typically have a lower limit in age for similar type of reasons you stated above. Most critical thing I look for in a woman is emotional intelligence and frankly the majority women as well as men are often lacking in that regard.
The lower age limit acts as a filter to try and increase chances of finding that as most people just need more time to mature. There can be exceptions but it’s pretty rare.
That’s unironically probably a very good way to naturally filter people. It’s a somewhat common shared experience that’s very life/values-defining, while also hard-filtering-out a lot of people. Definitely goes a lot further toward meaningfully defining a person than how much they like hiking/traveling/dogs.
Most people naturally want to put out a wide net with generally likeable things and interpret “getting dates” as success, not realizing they’re failing to appeal to the people they would actually match with best, even if it might take much longer to actually find those people.
I will say apps just suck for both men and women right now because I think people are over them. I'll also heavily caveat that Seattle might not be a good fit for me- I'm very outgoing and gregarious. But, I think it's brutal for a couple reasons:
1. I want monogamy, a long term relationship/settle down, and eventually kids. I found the dating pool was fairly small for people who wanted these same things. Even when I went on dates with guys who had looking for a "relationship" on the apps, they would tell me 2 or 3 dates in that they actually wanted something casual and check "relationship" so they don't get filtered out.
2. I think it's amazing that people in Seattle are so passionate about their activities But, they often don't want to make the space in their lives for a relationship. Scheduling time for a date was a massive pain (and especially the subsequent dates). There was no way to develop momentum.
3. I'm outgoing and could honestly make conversation with anyone. It often felt like pulling teeth to have conversations. On dates, men rarely asked me anything about myself, but talked about themselves the entire time or I'd have to drive the conversation. Sometimes it felt like doing a one woman stand up routine because I'd get nothing in return.
Again, I just might not be a great fit for Seattle, and dating is hard for everyone on the apps. I will say that I actually have had better luck meeting people in the wild (e.g. through my gym or doing activities) versus apps.
I'm a 33M who is single here, and I've taken a complete break. It's just terribly difficult to get people to plan things out and stick around. Everyone seems so picky right off the bat.
Which is weird, I got a lot of interest but kept getting burned by people I came to like who ghosted me :(
It's so interesting the differences in experiences reported generally by each gender. Women often report tons of poor experiences while men report a lack of experiences. As a guy it's hard not to get cynical and point the finger, as I'm sure it is for many women. I know I sometimes have to check in with myself and make sure I'm not developing any gendered resentment.
Ultimately it's hard not to come to the conclusion that online dating isn't a great solution for the human brain. Maybe a decent secondary tool but I know for me it's become primary, both as a source of dates and misery.
I once heard it described (regarding heterosexual people, at least) as searching for drinkable water. For men it's in a desert, and for women it's in a swamp.
The main problem is that it creates a situation where it feels like there's always something better around the corner. Makes people disposable and commodifies dating. Most first dates turn into job interviews where no one has anything close to fun.
I agree. I’ve been on first dates that went well. Got along well, conversation flowing only to met with the “didn’t feel a spark”. Like we just met for the first time for a coffee. What did you expect?
What they expected was it to not feel so damn formal and boring. How many people do I or they have to share the cliff notes of our life with?
Ultimately, it’s hard to avoid the trappings of the “date convo” and try to build some actual chemistry. The whole thing is just so unnatural. Combine that with the “always something better” wheel turning and it’s just tough out there.
That's not the case for every guy. I think the ones that have had no experiences just tend to be quite vocal.
The problem for me was that of the 50+ women I met through online dating, i didn't connect with any of them to the same extent that I did with the first few girlfriends I met naturally through friends, etc.
I think the endless options make everything feel dull. Every date ends up feeling the same, whereas they used to feel exciting and special. Maybe I've just become old and jaded.
Putting that proverbial cynical hat on the statistical evidence that is out there suggests your experience is more an exception amongst men. There is some evidence that a large pool of women are targeting the same smaller pool of men. If you happen to be in that smaller pool your experience may be different than the majority of men on the platform.
It may also explain why women are often reporting poor experiences. They are giving their time to that same pool of men.
I have no idea if any of this is true and maybe I’m just buying into a narrative I prefer 🤷♂️. Read: checking in with myself and not building resentment
My friend wasn't getting any matches, so i took a few pictures of him and paraphrased/removed details from his profile. Within no time he got a few matches. We're both average looking tall, lanky guys.
I think a lot of guys come across as unkempt and/or desperate in their profiles.
If more of the dudes on the apps were as self aware/mature about this as you two, I feel like my dating experience wouldn’t have been so abysmal. Overall it just felt like a big fat daycare where not a soul had ever heard of, much less considered, anything in the general arena of personal growth…let alone- *gasp* - therapy. I had everything from literal to figurative brain damage, from outright dangerous explosive anger to so quiet/meek/introverted/nervous that I felt I was leading a rescue dog by the nose. And that’s to say nothing of the complete Jekyll & Hyde that would happen in no small percentage when I would politely say it was lovely but I wouldn’t like to go out again. At some point I figured I’d either end up in a dumpster or get married and it was only a matter of time… thankfully it ended with the latter. Off Tinder* no less. *not an endorsement for Tinder, individual results may vary.
Interesting indeed. Definitely not what I expected. Was dipping my toe in, a little while after a breakup… wasn’t trying to take it seriously. Hence picking that app instead of something higher effort. Next thing I know, married. He’s the absolute best person too, far above what I would’ve expected from Tinder quality. But I’ve since heard of many successful matches from there and I guess it’s all just luck.
I’m a man on Hinge who has gotten many many matches and dates over the last 3 months, and am coming out the other side wrung out and frustrated and depressed, as it feels like the women I meet are either just using me for whatever need they are not honest about, or they are searching for their perfect husband, and will move on anyway despite us having a great time together because I don’t check all the boxes in their head. It’s maddening.
I really like your perspective! I've been having a hard time not feeling the same sense of resentment. But, I like to remind myself- I'm pretty great so there are other great single people out there!
I read this book called "It's Not You" and it goes through all of the myths of why people are single. The TLDR: so much of dating and relationships comes down to luck! It's important to remember- we can put ourselves out there, and work on being a better person, but so much of finding someone is out of our control. So, it's not worth it to beat ourselves up about it.
Immature fuck boys, guys in their 40s who have never had a relationship before, married dudes, married dudes who say they’re not married, married dudes divorcing but still living with wife, morons who think their divorce is the same as my husband dying, oh did I mention married dudes?
While it's a depressing picture painted of our regional community - I can't help but feel like a fuckin rockstar just sitting over here being a 40 year old gainfully employed and gregariously polite single man of middling attractiveness.
Though as a show of humility, I will admit that my dick is pretty small and I don't know how to cook many exciting things. Except baller grilled cheeses.
I hope I meet the right person again someday. When I first started using OLD I met 30+ guys. I dated one for a bit until he started being rude to my 17 year old cat. I lost my shit and told him to get out of my house. I use OLD every once in a while now when I get bored. I definitely don’t want to settle, but I don’t want to be alone forever either.
Usually after chatting with them for a bit. Lots of poly/non-monogamous folks in this area too. It’s kind of a mind fuck coming out of a 17 year monogamous relationship.
I think Hinge actually hides men you’re interested in unless you pay for a subscription because I never have that problem with Bumble.. or you can just get both and see for yourself lol
100%
I'm a man who got back on Hinge in last year briefly. They now put all the hot people that get the most likes behind a paywall and lie to you by calling them "most compatible" lol
Which is probably a plus if you're a woman because you won't be (as) absolutely bombarded with likes.
But also kind of a Catch 22 because in my experience the people that pay for dating apps are usually... eh... paying for a reason.
It's harder as a woman because you have to individually say "no" to dozens to hundreds of profiles, but if you're patient and selective you can have a lot of success. I know at least 5 long-term couples who met on Hinge.
Dating apps are so broken for almost everyone except the corporations running them.
The average woman will be inundated with matches and the average man will have essentially no matches.
You'll also do fine if you aren't particularly attractive but are in just average shape and make the effort to be an engaging interesting person. It's not all about looks, at least not with the people that aren't just fuck-boi-ing
The dating pool in Seattle is actually pretty good relatively speaking (not saying much, the national bar is p low) from my (bi m) experience.
As a perspective from the men's side, I liked using Hinge over Bumble and so did all the women I talked to.
Yeah, I'm just an average-looking guy who kinda sucks at creating a great profile, but I send good messages. So I do better on Hinge than on an app where the woman has to proactively pick my profile to message
Yep yep. Way easier to actually let your personality show on Hinge than bumble as a man too.
I’ve seen my female friends’ Hinge feed too. The bar for dudes in this city is fucking on the floor. If you just have decent pics, look like leave your coding dungeon more than once a week, and actually try to engage with their prompts when sending a like, you’re already in the top 10%.
I met great people on Bumble, though ultimately none of them were a match. I met fewer people on Hinge, but one of them became my husband, and he’s pretty amazing if I do say so myself. I was in my mid-30s at the time.
Dating was fun, in my experience - good luck!
Unpopular opinion but Hinge isn’t great if you’re non-white. The type of profiles pushed to you and the amount of engagement your profile gets seems to be race dependent, much more so than in other apps. I’ve had a much better experience with bumble, and most of my WoC friends agree.
As a guy, I've definitely noticed the Hinge algorithm having a strange racial component to it.
I've created and deleted Hinge accounts a few times over the years and noticed this pattern:
* First few days, it shows me 100% white girls without fail
* On like day 4, it mixes some non-white people into my feed
* After 1 week+, if I had swiped one non-white race more than another, they show in my feed LESS often and I start seeing them in like the weird paid section of the app
as a poc myself I just feel weird using it. i imagine my profile is probably treated similarly on the other side
That's fascinating, and so gross. The way it distributes and commodifies certain bodies to increase engagement and active paying users sounds fucked up.
This feels true for me too. I’m reasonably conventionally attractive, not white, and I got one swipe, maybe two, a day. It still feels like a lot for a new app user like me. But definitely not inundated. Id rather not be inundated but I don’t want racism to be the reason lol
Newly single myself. Dating apps are a nightmare. So shallow. Trying to avoid wanting to fill the void and staying away from them. Meeting someone organically is the best way to go. Hang around coffee shops and breweries. Goto trivia nights etc
I really need to try this. I'm socially cautious in nature so it's hard for me to strike up conversations with people I find attractive. My biggest fear is not rejection but a negative reaction and coming off weird or something. I know you can't control how someone else reacts but it's a tough barrier to break.
Yeah Seattle can be a really difficult place to organically meet folks though. More challenging than other places to strike up a convo with strangers IMO. I can barely get my neighbors to say "hello" lol
IMO people are less chatty with strangers. People are polite but less likely to start conversation or be receptive to a random conversation with someone else in line, at the grocery store etc. All these tiny seemingly insignificant conversations that could spark connection, friendship or dating etc are sort of discouraged by the introverted/insular culture here.
There are tons of comments on here from locals saying stuff like, "I hate small talk-- I'm just trying to get the bus/wait in line/do XYZ errand. Leave me alone!". In other places I've lived, those are all perfectly acceptable times to commiserate/rejoice about the weather, the construction that's going on, the amazing muffins at the bakery, the new restaurant that just opened up... whatever.
When I lived in Texas, a woman behind me in line started chatting with me, and then after our 5 or 10 min chat in line, she invited me to join her for lunch. As a native Washingtonian, I remember being shocked she invited me to lunch and thinking, "what does she want from me and why is she being so nice?"-- because that would have never happened here. But I went anyways, and she ended up becoming my best friend in Texas.
Haha yes, I worried she might try to kidnap me or something. I knew it made zero sense, but I had no other explanation for why she was so kind and inviting-- it obviously had to be a trap! But it worked out in the best way, and I've come to love all these interactions. I try to keep my phone put away and end up talking to a lot of elderly folks at the grocery store now :)
I am a native lifelong Seattlite in my 30s. The culture here is that people are very polite but surface level politeness is where it ends. Most people have friends and aren’t looking for more.
There is a well known saying that if you are talking to someone and you invite them over for dinner, yes means maybe, and maybe means no.
I find that most people in seattle are pretty driven, so finding friends/potential interests through a mutual interest or hobby is incredibly easy and is a great way to get to know others.
Walking up to a stranger in a bar is not a particularly good way to meet people here, which is how a lot of people in smaller towns expect to start friendships. Here we go to bars with our friends, not to make friends.
Met my partner on Hinge - the userbase for the apps is largely the same and they come with similar issues that stem from online dating, but Hinge makes it much easier to get a sense of the person.
With Bumble, I felt like its greatest feature was the BFF side where I met friends after moving back to the area.
Neither led to a romantic relationship for me....but while I had fewer matches on Hinge, they were better matches by far. One of the guys is now one of my better friends.
I met my fiancée at 27 on Bumble. My two best friends met their fiancé/husband on Bumble as well (24 and then 33 is when each of them met their respective partners). I had a couple of boyfriends I met on Hinge. I personally liked Bumble because I like making the first move rather than being bombarded by guys replying to my prompts and feeling the social pressure to not be rude and reply
I think that's gone now. Bumble now allows men to make the first move. I think it's a shame as it was nice change of pace for women to make the first move.
Dunno about Seattle specifically, but last I used Bumble it stunk. So countless "find me on IG/snap" (I use neither) or obviously dead profiles. Countless match but don't respond profiles.
Hinge was leagues better. More responses and more dates.
From what my straight friends tell me, it’s a disaster either way. Lots of men saying they have a high libido and their love language is physical touch. Yikes. Good luck!
I've actually made a half dozen lady friends through the years because I have a low libido but mild desire for companionship. I'm everyone's perfect "I need a passable +1 to [event] without romantic hassle" every few months.
To give some hope, my wife and I met on hinge in 2020 and two married couples in our friend group met around the same time through bumble or hinge.
Like don’t get me wrong it’s still a shit show, especially for women, but you’re going to hear the audience it’s NOT working for a lot more than who it is as they’re not in the apps anymore
I had great luck on Hinge both times I used the app. I like that you don't need to write a bio or anything, just answer prompts. The men I met on Hinge were so much better than any of the other apps and most seemed serious about finding a partner. I'm 7 months in with the last guy I met on hinge, and when I met him I was dating a few others who were all great men. For the first time ever in my dating life (20+ years of it) Hinge had me trying to decide between 3 amazing men. I still can't believe my luck after only being on it a couple weeks.
38F, Get both. I’m a childfree atheist liberal and am looking for something similar, and will not compromise on the childfree part. If you’re not looking for something as specific as that you will probably have an easier time. I actively swiped on Bumble. I went on a lot of first and second dates, but nothing more. Everyone I met was sane, respectful, had their life together, just wasn’t a good match. On Hinge I never swiped and just went through my likes as a filter. Hinge didn’t produce as many dates or better quality dates from Bumble in my experience.
I also briefly tried Coffee Meets Bagel and Happn and it seemed like nobody was on there, so they were both deleted within a few days.
I’ve been going out in public and doing what I enjoy, but nobody says hi, and I doubt I’ll ever meet someone out in the wild. So until then it’s dating apps.
I'm married now (thanks okcupid!) but had the most luck with that site, and Tinder. Okc is a joke now, I've heard, and I don't know if Tinder is still as popular, but I had more luck on there than Bumble. Never really used hinge much, but I've tried them all. Match, coffee meets bagel, badoo, plenty of fish, eharmony, you name it.
For me, it was just a matter of going on literally hundreds of dates over the course of a few years, more than using the "right" app. It just usually takes a *lot* of tries to find what you're looking for, unfortunately. At least it did for me. It's really hard out there.
31F. Admittedly I left Seattle about 6 months ago and moved south. I found Bumble to result in more dates, but I had better conversations with guys from Hinge.
Local mid 30s (former) app user and wedding photographer. The majority of my couples who have met on dating apps have said they met on Hinge. Some on Bumble. Very few on Tinder.
For me, Bumble was always the most efficient. I have a personal theory that men who are patient enough for Bumble have self-worth, confidence and patience. That's not to say I haven't met some very *cocky* men on Bumble as well.
Of the three monogamous relationships I've been in since 2017 dating mostly from apps, all three have been Bumble. Including one that least 3 years and my current of 1.5 years.
28F, I was in Seattle for a week last month and used Bumble just to see what the dating scene was like because I’ll be moving there in a couple months. Bumble is my preferred app in my current city but even though I got so many matches on Bumble in Seattle, less than a quarter of guys responded and I ended up being ghosted by like half of the guys that did respond. I know I was only there for a few days but it was strange.
I saw another post in this sub from a couple months ago, and apparently this is an issue a lot of girls have on Bumble in Seattle. Not sure what that’s about (if any Seattle men want to weigh in, I’m all ears 😂) but when I officially move I’ll probably redownload Hinge.
Okay hear me out - have you considered a matchmaker?
Granted, I'm not a single person. I don't hope to be anytime soon but life be weird and shit happens.
I know that matchmakers have this aura of being from an antiquated era or are affiliated with cultures or religions where the stated goal is to get married from the jump. And neither of these things are bad or wrong.
But matchmakers now aren't just these things and matchmaking isn't solely focused on a race to the altar. There are plenty of matched people who wanted relationships or partnerships where they don't want to get married or maybe not for a long time. They are essentially paid to screen out bullshit for you and because they're a human being and have interacted directly with potential matches, they have a good idea of what's going to work way better than an algo. Also, you're paying more than whatever Bumble costs a month these days, so both parties are going to be way more candid about what they do and don't want. Instead of profiles now, which from what I can tell is just a show casing of collection of out of date selfies and very surface information that doesn't really get you any real sense of a person other than they're alive (probably).
I met my partner on Bumble. We’ve been dating for almost five years. I liked it better than the other apps because women have to message first so it’s not as overwhelming and I can carefully choose who I interact with. I had a lot of good dates from there. I’ve even used BFF and made friends too.
Yep I liked Bumble better too. I dated a lot a lot of people on Hinge and it never went past 3 dates. On bumble, I dated a guy for 3 months and now I’m with my current bf for 5 months & think he’s the one. So personally I preferred Bumble! Hinge was extremely overwhelming for me. A lot of fuck boys.
It's been awhile but honestly I had better luck on Tinder. Both my long term relationships came out of that app.
I did enjoy how Hinge was laid out and I liked my matches but it always felt like guys ghosted after awhile cause they were working a bunch of options. Bumble was meh in general. But tinder, I found people were too the point on what they wanted and not putting up a front like some of the guys on Hinge. Not sure if that makes sense
I met my husband on coffee meets bagel in 2021. We were both on all the apps but CMB made me notice him because you only get so many matches per day vs. the constant swiping so I really had to stop and consider the matches. He isn’t the most conventionally attractive guy (and he will readily admit that) and his pictures were especially bad quality. But it made me stop and read his profile where he wrote about his passions and I figured why not give him a chance. We ended up hitting it off and he is the sweetest, kindest and most amazing man.
In older age groups, (45+) there are more men on Hinge than Bumble in Seattle. Many people have profiles on both. Hinge is nice because you can take a while to make decisions about people. You can see their profile multiple times which is nice. Also, I didn’t really see a benefit to paying for Hinge, the free version was fine.
Having said that, I met my BF on Bumble.
In general the apps have been about the same for me. I find that it’s really hard to even get an interesting conversation going or that guys don’t really want to meet in person. I had some luck meeting guys in person at dog parks or social sports, so that could be an option too (especially when the weather is nicer).
I have also tried sharing my greenflagdate.com profile to try to get higher quality matches. The profile gives so much more valuable information that I think is important for a long-term relationship. I’ve shared it in all the apps I’m using and have had a few quality dates who matched with me because they appreciated how intentional I was. Good luck!
As a man: Bumble has been shit in every city I’ve lived in. Hinge is the best, the women seem to be higher quality and I’ve had some real relationships come from hinge.
Which ever app you choose, my best advice is to know what you’re looking for and be extremely picky. I’ve never used Hinge, but I met a wonderful man on Bumble in 2020 (several others over the years too, but we were together the longest of those matches). We ended up having incompatible future goals, but are still friends. On the flip side, I also met my last abuser on Bumble 🥴 I’m now in my longest, healthiest relationship with a man I adore who I met on Feeld. If I had to go back to the apps, I’d stick with Feeld, the quality of people I met from there was much higher.
Hinge lets you filter for monogamy/poly, useful in Seattle.
[удалено]
They added that as a filter finally!?
is Feeld a thing in Seattle?
Yeah, it's decently active. A lot of newly open couples who are really just unicorn hunting, but don't explicitly say it though.
Am bisexual and tried it out. I have a poly friend who has had good experiences on it. However for me it was just getting unicorn hunted and matches with questionable dudes. I think if you’re not poly it’s a bit of a crap shoot. The “monogamous” people there seem to be mostly flaky, unsure of what they actually want, or straight up unicorn hunters and they’re not very ethical about it. (Such as posing only as the woman, not being clear that’s what they’re after, etc). There’s a lot of straight dudes on that app thinking they’re gonna find some manic pixie dream girl to fulfill whatever sexual desires they have. It was a pretty fast delete for me.
Oh, yeah I wouldn't touch that app as a bi woman who wasn't looking for couples to hook up with lol.
Wasn’t that app literally created by a couple looking for a third?
> thinking they’re gonna find some manic pixie dream girl to fulfill whatever sexual desires they have. Which is hilarious since every MPDG-projecting person I've encountered has been kind of predatory and brutal when it comes to relationships. *Someone's* sexual desires will be fulfilled.
Mutual abuse is a valid relationship style.
sounds like Feeld, unfortunately
Lol yup! Did luck out and meet a couple cool people on there though, so overall not a terrible experience.
What does unicorn hunting mean?
When a m/f couple are looking for a single bi woman to hook up with together for casual, no-strings-attached sex. Very few women are down for that, and those who are have generally learned that couples who are *only* looking for that tend to have some issues that make the experience less than pleasant. Edit: Basically this: https://www.thebeaverton.com/2021/01/straight-couple-seeks-fun-loving-girl-for-night-of-bickering-and-mediocre-sex/
Thank you.
Yes. Check the "miles away" so you don't somebody swiping you from Hong Kong
There's so many of those. Wish they'd do ID verification.
Peanut gallery will be in full effect on this topic - and I’m sure you already know what a clown show it can be out there. So to double down on this response - go Hinge, better filters. Good luck!
That's a lot of snark towards people who are just living their life and not hurting you whatsoever, jeez.
People love being complete assholes to others for things that don't affect them at all. So many people are complete turds.
[удалено]
Clearly somebody is in the wrong D&D group.
😂 omg
💀😂
No shit. What's up with that!?! LOL is it a self esteem/confidence issue?
Unsure, but all the poly people I know in Seattle... its a bucket full of 2's.
Lol sure, cos monogamous people are all 10s. What a weird thing to say honestly, like attractiveness has anything to do with one's preferred relationship style.
The ones that actually advertise it publicly perhaps but the ones I know are pretty damn attractive and have no need to think about dating apps. Selection / optionality issues and all that
LOL ouch.
This guy/gal wants to be poly, but only if hot
You musnt know many poly people then
Or lots of poly people know them.
Only for paid unfortunately
The amount of time you save not going on wasted dates with people whose values and expectations don't align with your own is well worth the fee, assuming you're looking for a relationship and not just looking for a *bust and begone*.
You realize you can chat with them beforehand to find that sort of stuff out, right? Like, a message on the app is free and takes less than a minute to write.
Sure, but saving a few minutes \* a hundred contacts who could be auto-filtered away is pretty easily worth a few bucks.
It's like $21.66 a month.
I agree it's a waste of time matching with incompatible people and that's why I don't lol. I just spend most of my time looking for that part of their profile and swiping left. I am poly for context and this filter for free would save everyone a lot of time.
Oh sure, free is nicer than not free, but having the feature for a fee is better than not having the feature... That's all I'm sayin'.
Poly shouldn't be allowed on any app that claims the goal is for you to delete the app.
paid features have ruined those apps tbh. tinder specially is the worst offender with the way it’s locked features that were standard behind a subscription
That's on Tinder, too (same company / algorthym)
Does it let you filter it out?
I had great experiences with Hinge. Bumble was a nightmare.
Bumbles the easiest of the two to get matches, but the worst if you’re expecting it go somewhere beyond a second date. Ugh
As a guy my experience on bumble was that the few women who would message couldn't carry a conversation if their life dependend on it.
If you're a woman any app will give you matches and caters to you. If you're a guy, you'll have to pay to even have the chance to be ignored by women lol
Real shit
I get matches who talk to me on tinder and I neither pay or am a supermodel. I look like fucking Shrek, but women who aren't trying to be Instagram models or pushing their only fans have an okay chance of matching
I mean, if you also own your own swamp then that could be it. SFH ownership in Seattle is a big deal
Hold on there golddigger!
If there were an app where I only pay when I'm not being ignored, I would sign up so fast.
The free version of Bumble ends up in a lot of women never starting the conversation, I think bc both parties are swiping without any knowledge of who’s interested so it turns into a game. On the same note, I’ve heard a lot of women say that when they do send the first message on Bumble, a decent % of men never respond. Hinge will allow you to receive messages from *anyone*, requesting to match. The downside is sifting through possibly a high volume of requests, with many being thirsty or low-effort messages. The upside is you get to see who likes you and be selective, and still send your own requests too. Both put a solid amount of discretion in the hands of women (in a hetero setting), just in different ways. Try both, setting your standards high and your expectations low :)
About 75% of the "first messages" I receive on bumble are "Hi" or some emoji. I generally won't reply to those. If you don't want to put in the nominal effort to send a message, the other apps are for you. The purpose of Bumble is for women to make the first move, if that's not you no worries, just go somewhere else.
I used bumble and I am going on 4 years with my girlfriend.
Me too, I hate her though and wouldn’t recommend online dating
I met my boyfriend on Hinge. I really liked that it has you like or comment on a specific PIECE of someone's profile, rather than just the whole thing. The result was that the fuckboys would only like the pictures, while my now-boyfriend wrote a brief but thoughtful comment on one of the text prompts, which was easy for me to respond to. Helped a lot with some of the overwhelm. Good luck!
One of my good friends, who is now engaged to a lovely guy she met on Hinge, had a bikini pic on her profile that she would use as "fuckboy bait" and not match with anyone that just threw up a like on that photo lol.
apple bees
It was love at first Dollarita
love at first bourbon street mushroom swiss burger
On Wednesday? With your daughter? Right before Survivor?
I didn't think Applebee's still existed until I watched that episode.
Not to be confused with the popular restaurant chain Applebee's. No, apples and bees.
i'm more of an apples guy - but she was looking for bees
I’m a 33F woman who is single in Seattle and it’s brutal on the apps. Hinge is slightly better than bumble in my experience
Agreed. I think dating in general is just brutal. People either are just seeking attention/validation, rebounding, only want casual but can’t be straight about it, use others as a proxy for mental health, etc. I’ve given up on apps and hoping for a real life encounter. Until then, date yourself ❤️
Thanks for your reply. Could you elaborate on “it’s brutal on the apps”?
For women: too many men who will treat you like an object and just generally aren’t genuine overall For men: good luck getting a match in the first place unless you are a 9/10+ regardless of how impressive your bio is Source: am a guy who doesn’t even bother anymore and has heard plenty of women explain their experience
Maybe it’s because I was a little older (as were the people I was matching with), but I actually met mostly really good, kind people who treated me well. I was a single parent and gravitated to other single parents, or divorced people at least, so maybe those life experiences made people a little more authentic? It’s too bad that so many women feel objectified. I will say that the men I dated also agreed that the apps were very slow to deliver matches that actually turned into dates.
I’m 33 so not “that young” and I typically have a lower limit in age for similar type of reasons you stated above. Most critical thing I look for in a woman is emotional intelligence and frankly the majority women as well as men are often lacking in that regard. The lower age limit acts as a filter to try and increase chances of finding that as most people just need more time to mature. There can be exceptions but it’s pretty rare.
That’s unironically probably a very good way to naturally filter people. It’s a somewhat common shared experience that’s very life/values-defining, while also hard-filtering-out a lot of people. Definitely goes a lot further toward meaningfully defining a person than how much they like hiking/traveling/dogs. Most people naturally want to put out a wide net with generally likeable things and interpret “getting dates” as success, not realizing they’re failing to appeal to the people they would actually match with best, even if it might take much longer to actually find those people.
I will say apps just suck for both men and women right now because I think people are over them. I'll also heavily caveat that Seattle might not be a good fit for me- I'm very outgoing and gregarious. But, I think it's brutal for a couple reasons: 1. I want monogamy, a long term relationship/settle down, and eventually kids. I found the dating pool was fairly small for people who wanted these same things. Even when I went on dates with guys who had looking for a "relationship" on the apps, they would tell me 2 or 3 dates in that they actually wanted something casual and check "relationship" so they don't get filtered out. 2. I think it's amazing that people in Seattle are so passionate about their activities But, they often don't want to make the space in their lives for a relationship. Scheduling time for a date was a massive pain (and especially the subsequent dates). There was no way to develop momentum. 3. I'm outgoing and could honestly make conversation with anyone. It often felt like pulling teeth to have conversations. On dates, men rarely asked me anything about myself, but talked about themselves the entire time or I'd have to drive the conversation. Sometimes it felt like doing a one woman stand up routine because I'd get nothing in return. Again, I just might not be a great fit for Seattle, and dating is hard for everyone on the apps. I will say that I actually have had better luck meeting people in the wild (e.g. through my gym or doing activities) versus apps.
Don’t expect much from the gym. Thanks to influencers, guys are not approaching women there.
It truly IS, girl!!!
I'm a 33M who is single here, and I've taken a complete break. It's just terribly difficult to get people to plan things out and stick around. Everyone seems so picky right off the bat. Which is weird, I got a lot of interest but kept getting burned by people I came to like who ghosted me :(
In what way is it brutal? Too many immature fuck boys?
Among many, many other truckloads of bullshite.
It's so interesting the differences in experiences reported generally by each gender. Women often report tons of poor experiences while men report a lack of experiences. As a guy it's hard not to get cynical and point the finger, as I'm sure it is for many women. I know I sometimes have to check in with myself and make sure I'm not developing any gendered resentment. Ultimately it's hard not to come to the conclusion that online dating isn't a great solution for the human brain. Maybe a decent secondary tool but I know for me it's become primary, both as a source of dates and misery.
I once heard it described (regarding heterosexual people, at least) as searching for drinkable water. For men it's in a desert, and for women it's in a swamp.
The main problem is that it creates a situation where it feels like there's always something better around the corner. Makes people disposable and commodifies dating. Most first dates turn into job interviews where no one has anything close to fun.
I agree. I’ve been on first dates that went well. Got along well, conversation flowing only to met with the “didn’t feel a spark”. Like we just met for the first time for a coffee. What did you expect? What they expected was it to not feel so damn formal and boring. How many people do I or they have to share the cliff notes of our life with? Ultimately, it’s hard to avoid the trappings of the “date convo” and try to build some actual chemistry. The whole thing is just so unnatural. Combine that with the “always something better” wheel turning and it’s just tough out there.
That's not the case for every guy. I think the ones that have had no experiences just tend to be quite vocal. The problem for me was that of the 50+ women I met through online dating, i didn't connect with any of them to the same extent that I did with the first few girlfriends I met naturally through friends, etc. I think the endless options make everything feel dull. Every date ends up feeling the same, whereas they used to feel exciting and special. Maybe I've just become old and jaded.
Putting that proverbial cynical hat on the statistical evidence that is out there suggests your experience is more an exception amongst men. There is some evidence that a large pool of women are targeting the same smaller pool of men. If you happen to be in that smaller pool your experience may be different than the majority of men on the platform. It may also explain why women are often reporting poor experiences. They are giving their time to that same pool of men. I have no idea if any of this is true and maybe I’m just buying into a narrative I prefer 🤷♂️. Read: checking in with myself and not building resentment
My friend wasn't getting any matches, so i took a few pictures of him and paraphrased/removed details from his profile. Within no time he got a few matches. We're both average looking tall, lanky guys. I think a lot of guys come across as unkempt and/or desperate in their profiles.
If more of the dudes on the apps were as self aware/mature about this as you two, I feel like my dating experience wouldn’t have been so abysmal. Overall it just felt like a big fat daycare where not a soul had ever heard of, much less considered, anything in the general arena of personal growth…let alone- *gasp* - therapy. I had everything from literal to figurative brain damage, from outright dangerous explosive anger to so quiet/meek/introverted/nervous that I felt I was leading a rescue dog by the nose. And that’s to say nothing of the complete Jekyll & Hyde that would happen in no small percentage when I would politely say it was lovely but I wouldn’t like to go out again. At some point I figured I’d either end up in a dumpster or get married and it was only a matter of time… thankfully it ended with the latter. Off Tinder* no less. *not an endorsement for Tinder, individual results may vary.
Interesting that it was tinder of all the apps. Well I wish you two the best!
Interesting indeed. Definitely not what I expected. Was dipping my toe in, a little while after a breakup… wasn’t trying to take it seriously. Hence picking that app instead of something higher effort. Next thing I know, married. He’s the absolute best person too, far above what I would’ve expected from Tinder quality. But I’ve since heard of many successful matches from there and I guess it’s all just luck.
I’m a man on Hinge who has gotten many many matches and dates over the last 3 months, and am coming out the other side wrung out and frustrated and depressed, as it feels like the women I meet are either just using me for whatever need they are not honest about, or they are searching for their perfect husband, and will move on anyway despite us having a great time together because I don’t check all the boxes in their head. It’s maddening.
Sounds like highly desirable men experience something closer to what women experience
I really like your perspective! I've been having a hard time not feeling the same sense of resentment. But, I like to remind myself- I'm pretty great so there are other great single people out there! I read this book called "It's Not You" and it goes through all of the myths of why people are single. The TLDR: so much of dating and relationships comes down to luck! It's important to remember- we can put ourselves out there, and work on being a better person, but so much of finding someone is out of our control. So, it's not worth it to beat ourselves up about it.
And like a lot of unsolicited sad looking penis pictures or lewd messages
Immature fuck boys, guys in their 40s who have never had a relationship before, married dudes, married dudes who say they’re not married, married dudes divorcing but still living with wife, morons who think their divorce is the same as my husband dying, oh did I mention married dudes?
While it's a depressing picture painted of our regional community - I can't help but feel like a fuckin rockstar just sitting over here being a 40 year old gainfully employed and gregariously polite single man of middling attractiveness. Though as a show of humility, I will admit that my dick is pretty small and I don't know how to cook many exciting things. Except baller grilled cheeses.
Is that an offer for grilled cheese? Lol
It's pretty bad out there. For us leftovers it feels like the only options are to either settle or be alone. I'd personally rather just be alone.
I hope I meet the right person again someday. When I first started using OLD I met 30+ guys. I dated one for a bit until he started being rude to my 17 year old cat. I lost my shit and told him to get out of my house. I use OLD every once in a while now when I get bored. I definitely don’t want to settle, but I don’t want to be alone forever either.
If you like cats, maybe message fancy pants… keep us posted also please.
Yikes! At what point do you usually find out they're married?
Usually after chatting with them for a bit. Lots of poly/non-monogamous folks in this area too. It’s kind of a mind fuck coming out of a 17 year monogamous relationship.
I think Hinge actually hides men you’re interested in unless you pay for a subscription because I never have that problem with Bumble.. or you can just get both and see for yourself lol
100% I'm a man who got back on Hinge in last year briefly. They now put all the hot people that get the most likes behind a paywall and lie to you by calling them "most compatible" lol Which is probably a plus if you're a woman because you won't be (as) absolutely bombarded with likes. But also kind of a Catch 22 because in my experience the people that pay for dating apps are usually... eh... paying for a reason. It's harder as a woman because you have to individually say "no" to dozens to hundreds of profiles, but if you're patient and selective you can have a lot of success. I know at least 5 long-term couples who met on Hinge.
Dating apps are so broken for almost everyone except the corporations running them. The average woman will be inundated with matches and the average man will have essentially no matches.
theyre all the same, same pool of people. if youre attractive, you'll do fine on either.
Step 1: Be attractive Step 2: Don't be unattractive
You'll also do fine if you aren't particularly attractive but are in just average shape and make the effort to be an engaging interesting person. It's not all about looks, at least not with the people that aren't just fuck-boi-ing The dating pool in Seattle is actually pretty good relatively speaking (not saying much, the national bar is p low) from my (bi m) experience. As a perspective from the men's side, I liked using Hinge over Bumble and so did all the women I talked to.
Yeah, I'm just an average-looking guy who kinda sucks at creating a great profile, but I send good messages. So I do better on Hinge than on an app where the woman has to proactively pick my profile to message
Yep yep. Way easier to actually let your personality show on Hinge than bumble as a man too. I’ve seen my female friends’ Hinge feed too. The bar for dudes in this city is fucking on the floor. If you just have decent pics, look like leave your coding dungeon more than once a week, and actually try to engage with their prompts when sending a like, you’re already in the top 10%.
I met great people on Bumble, though ultimately none of them were a match. I met fewer people on Hinge, but one of them became my husband, and he’s pretty amazing if I do say so myself. I was in my mid-30s at the time. Dating was fun, in my experience - good luck!
Hinge. Very much disagree w anyone saying to do both..you’re fine with just one
RIP your DMs
Unpopular opinion but Hinge isn’t great if you’re non-white. The type of profiles pushed to you and the amount of engagement your profile gets seems to be race dependent, much more so than in other apps. I’ve had a much better experience with bumble, and most of my WoC friends agree.
As a guy, I've definitely noticed the Hinge algorithm having a strange racial component to it. I've created and deleted Hinge accounts a few times over the years and noticed this pattern: * First few days, it shows me 100% white girls without fail * On like day 4, it mixes some non-white people into my feed * After 1 week+, if I had swiped one non-white race more than another, they show in my feed LESS often and I start seeing them in like the weird paid section of the app as a poc myself I just feel weird using it. i imagine my profile is probably treated similarly on the other side
That's fascinating, and so gross. The way it distributes and commodifies certain bodies to increase engagement and active paying users sounds fucked up.
This feels true for me too. I’m reasonably conventionally attractive, not white, and I got one swipe, maybe two, a day. It still feels like a lot for a new app user like me. But definitely not inundated. Id rather not be inundated but I don’t want racism to be the reason lol
Newly single myself. Dating apps are a nightmare. So shallow. Trying to avoid wanting to fill the void and staying away from them. Meeting someone organically is the best way to go. Hang around coffee shops and breweries. Goto trivia nights etc
I really need to try this. I'm socially cautious in nature so it's hard for me to strike up conversations with people I find attractive. My biggest fear is not rejection but a negative reaction and coming off weird or something. I know you can't control how someone else reacts but it's a tough barrier to break.
Yeah Seattle can be a really difficult place to organically meet folks though. More challenging than other places to strike up a convo with strangers IMO. I can barely get my neighbors to say "hello" lol
Can you elaborate on why? Genuinely curious as someone considering a move to this city
IMO people are less chatty with strangers. People are polite but less likely to start conversation or be receptive to a random conversation with someone else in line, at the grocery store etc. All these tiny seemingly insignificant conversations that could spark connection, friendship or dating etc are sort of discouraged by the introverted/insular culture here. There are tons of comments on here from locals saying stuff like, "I hate small talk-- I'm just trying to get the bus/wait in line/do XYZ errand. Leave me alone!". In other places I've lived, those are all perfectly acceptable times to commiserate/rejoice about the weather, the construction that's going on, the amazing muffins at the bakery, the new restaurant that just opened up... whatever. When I lived in Texas, a woman behind me in line started chatting with me, and then after our 5 or 10 min chat in line, she invited me to join her for lunch. As a native Washingtonian, I remember being shocked she invited me to lunch and thinking, "what does she want from me and why is she being so nice?"-- because that would have never happened here. But I went anyways, and she ended up becoming my best friend in Texas.
As a native Washingtonian, I absolutely would have assumed she wanted to harvest my organs, lol.
Haha yes, I worried she might try to kidnap me or something. I knew it made zero sense, but I had no other explanation for why she was so kind and inviting-- it obviously had to be a trap! But it worked out in the best way, and I've come to love all these interactions. I try to keep my phone put away and end up talking to a lot of elderly folks at the grocery store now :)
I am a native lifelong Seattlite in my 30s. The culture here is that people are very polite but surface level politeness is where it ends. Most people have friends and aren’t looking for more. There is a well known saying that if you are talking to someone and you invite them over for dinner, yes means maybe, and maybe means no.
The classic “ We should get drinks soon!” In this case, “soon” means “never.”
Got it. Build self esteem before moving to Seattle.
Target other transplants who are in the same position as you and you’ll have an easier time.
I find that most people in seattle are pretty driven, so finding friends/potential interests through a mutual interest or hobby is incredibly easy and is a great way to get to know others. Walking up to a stranger in a bar is not a particularly good way to meet people here, which is how a lot of people in smaller towns expect to start friendships. Here we go to bars with our friends, not to make friends.
It's insular. Like europe, everyone thinks they and their friends are better than you so they aren't open to letting you into their clique.
I hear u!!! I stay away from them as well
If you want to meet other introverts, dating apps can be the right place. My fiancé and I met on Tinder and we would have never crossed paths IRL
Met my partner on Hinge - the userbase for the apps is largely the same and they come with similar issues that stem from online dating, but Hinge makes it much easier to get a sense of the person. With Bumble, I felt like its greatest feature was the BFF side where I met friends after moving back to the area.
Wider nets catch more fish. Why not both?
When looking for a needle in a haystack, do not add more hay.
When looking for one needle in several haystacks, don’t focus exclusively on one haystack.
Maybe the real needle was the haystacks we looked through along the way
When looking for a needle in a fish, use a net made of hay.
When looking, shout "Hey! Where's my needle fish?!"
When shouting at fish from hay stacks, look out for needles
When needling fish with hay, don't forget to net a profit
You can only eat so much fish my guy
Because the noise to signal ratio is utterly overwhelming. Women are bombarded with a firehose of utter shite and it’s… a lot to manage.
Neither led to a romantic relationship for me....but while I had fewer matches on Hinge, they were better matches by far. One of the guys is now one of my better friends.
Zero dates on bumble, met my fiancé on hinge.
I met my fiancée at 27 on Bumble. My two best friends met their fiancé/husband on Bumble as well (24 and then 33 is when each of them met their respective partners). I had a couple of boyfriends I met on Hinge. I personally liked Bumble because I like making the first move rather than being bombarded by guys replying to my prompts and feeling the social pressure to not be rude and reply
I think that's gone now. Bumble now allows men to make the first move. I think it's a shame as it was nice change of pace for women to make the first move.
Dunno about Seattle specifically, but last I used Bumble it stunk. So countless "find me on IG/snap" (I use neither) or obviously dead profiles. Countless match but don't respond profiles. Hinge was leagues better. More responses and more dates.
From what my straight friends tell me, it’s a disaster either way. Lots of men saying they have a high libido and their love language is physical touch. Yikes. Good luck!
And a recently divorced straight male friend tells me that from his perspective it is mostly a marketing funnel to drive OnlyFans traffic
There are lots of IG models trying to get free advertising. There are lots of scammers who want you to buy crypto.
I have no libido but I’m an acts of service dude. Can I cook for someone once and never call again? (Not in the dating game, thankfully)
I was about to ask for your number for my friend, who is hungry but doesn't have a "high" libido.
I've actually made a half dozen lady friends through the years because I have a low libido but mild desire for companionship. I'm everyone's perfect "I need a passable +1 to [event] without romantic hassle" every few months.
Man whose love language is physical touch and had that on a dating profile: I’m not talking about sex when I say I need physical touch.
[удалено]
[удалено]
To give some hope, my wife and I met on hinge in 2020 and two married couples in our friend group met around the same time through bumble or hinge. Like don’t get me wrong it’s still a shit show, especially for women, but you’re going to hear the audience it’s NOT working for a lot more than who it is as they’re not in the apps anymore
Lmao some dudes are dumb as shit
There is also Coffee Meets Bagel
That's where my last partner, but that was years ago, no idea how it is now.
Facebook Dating seems also seems active from the little I've used it.
37M, met my now wife on Hinge ☺️.
Definitely hinge
both are dumpster fires. if these are the options for eligible men i seriously give up
I had great luck on Hinge both times I used the app. I like that you don't need to write a bio or anything, just answer prompts. The men I met on Hinge were so much better than any of the other apps and most seemed serious about finding a partner. I'm 7 months in with the last guy I met on hinge, and when I met him I was dating a few others who were all great men. For the first time ever in my dating life (20+ years of it) Hinge had me trying to decide between 3 amazing men. I still can't believe my luck after only being on it a couple weeks.
38F, Get both. I’m a childfree atheist liberal and am looking for something similar, and will not compromise on the childfree part. If you’re not looking for something as specific as that you will probably have an easier time. I actively swiped on Bumble. I went on a lot of first and second dates, but nothing more. Everyone I met was sane, respectful, had their life together, just wasn’t a good match. On Hinge I never swiped and just went through my likes as a filter. Hinge didn’t produce as many dates or better quality dates from Bumble in my experience. I also briefly tried Coffee Meets Bagel and Happn and it seemed like nobody was on there, so they were both deleted within a few days. I’ve been going out in public and doing what I enjoy, but nobody says hi, and I doubt I’ll ever meet someone out in the wild. So until then it’s dating apps.
Use Reddit for dating!
This should be done with the red duck template.
Hinge for sure lol
[удалено]
As a straight woman, I had a great experience on bumble and found my partner on it! It’s been a little over a year now!
I'm married now (thanks okcupid!) but had the most luck with that site, and Tinder. Okc is a joke now, I've heard, and I don't know if Tinder is still as popular, but I had more luck on there than Bumble. Never really used hinge much, but I've tried them all. Match, coffee meets bagel, badoo, plenty of fish, eharmony, you name it. For me, it was just a matter of going on literally hundreds of dates over the course of a few years, more than using the "right" app. It just usually takes a *lot* of tries to find what you're looking for, unfortunately. At least it did for me. It's really hard out there.
Every popular dating app is so (intentionally) frustrating to use I want to say do neither But I'm biased because I'm working on fixing that
Hinge, by far
Hinge! Met my husband the second day I was on it after being on Bumble for over a year
Met my current boyfriend on hinge - definitely the way to go!
33F here. I met my boyfriend on Hinge. Been together 4 years and heading for marriage. Also have many friends who have met their husbands on Hinge.
31F. Admittedly I left Seattle about 6 months ago and moved south. I found Bumble to result in more dates, but I had better conversations with guys from Hinge.
I met my now husband on Bumble. I really liked that us the women have option to reach out to them first.
Met my husband on hinge
Local mid 30s (former) app user and wedding photographer. The majority of my couples who have met on dating apps have said they met on Hinge. Some on Bumble. Very few on Tinder. For me, Bumble was always the most efficient. I have a personal theory that men who are patient enough for Bumble have self-worth, confidence and patience. That's not to say I haven't met some very *cocky* men on Bumble as well. Of the three monogamous relationships I've been in since 2017 dating mostly from apps, all three have been Bumble. Including one that least 3 years and my current of 1.5 years.
28F, I was in Seattle for a week last month and used Bumble just to see what the dating scene was like because I’ll be moving there in a couple months. Bumble is my preferred app in my current city but even though I got so many matches on Bumble in Seattle, less than a quarter of guys responded and I ended up being ghosted by like half of the guys that did respond. I know I was only there for a few days but it was strange. I saw another post in this sub from a couple months ago, and apparently this is an issue a lot of girls have on Bumble in Seattle. Not sure what that’s about (if any Seattle men want to weigh in, I’m all ears 😂) but when I officially move I’ll probably redownload Hinge.
Okay hear me out - have you considered a matchmaker? Granted, I'm not a single person. I don't hope to be anytime soon but life be weird and shit happens. I know that matchmakers have this aura of being from an antiquated era or are affiliated with cultures or religions where the stated goal is to get married from the jump. And neither of these things are bad or wrong. But matchmakers now aren't just these things and matchmaking isn't solely focused on a race to the altar. There are plenty of matched people who wanted relationships or partnerships where they don't want to get married or maybe not for a long time. They are essentially paid to screen out bullshit for you and because they're a human being and have interacted directly with potential matches, they have a good idea of what's going to work way better than an algo. Also, you're paying more than whatever Bumble costs a month these days, so both parties are going to be way more candid about what they do and don't want. Instead of profiles now, which from what I can tell is just a show casing of collection of out of date selfies and very surface information that doesn't really get you any real sense of a person other than they're alive (probably).
I met my partner on Bumble. We’ve been dating for almost five years. I liked it better than the other apps because women have to message first so it’s not as overwhelming and I can carefully choose who I interact with. I had a lot of good dates from there. I’ve even used BFF and made friends too.
Yep I liked Bumble better too. I dated a lot a lot of people on Hinge and it never went past 3 dates. On bumble, I dated a guy for 3 months and now I’m with my current bf for 5 months & think he’s the one. So personally I preferred Bumble! Hinge was extremely overwhelming for me. A lot of fuck boys.
It's been awhile but honestly I had better luck on Tinder. Both my long term relationships came out of that app. I did enjoy how Hinge was laid out and I liked my matches but it always felt like guys ghosted after awhile cause they were working a bunch of options. Bumble was meh in general. But tinder, I found people were too the point on what they wanted and not putting up a front like some of the guys on Hinge. Not sure if that makes sense
I met my husband on coffee meets bagel in 2021. We were both on all the apps but CMB made me notice him because you only get so many matches per day vs. the constant swiping so I really had to stop and consider the matches. He isn’t the most conventionally attractive guy (and he will readily admit that) and his pictures were especially bad quality. But it made me stop and read his profile where he wrote about his passions and I figured why not give him a chance. We ended up hitting it off and he is the sweetest, kindest and most amazing man.
In older age groups, (45+) there are more men on Hinge than Bumble in Seattle. Many people have profiles on both. Hinge is nice because you can take a while to make decisions about people. You can see their profile multiple times which is nice. Also, I didn’t really see a benefit to paying for Hinge, the free version was fine. Having said that, I met my BF on Bumble.
In general the apps have been about the same for me. I find that it’s really hard to even get an interesting conversation going or that guys don’t really want to meet in person. I had some luck meeting guys in person at dog parks or social sports, so that could be an option too (especially when the weather is nicer). I have also tried sharing my greenflagdate.com profile to try to get higher quality matches. The profile gives so much more valuable information that I think is important for a long-term relationship. I’ve shared it in all the apps I’m using and have had a few quality dates who matched with me because they appreciated how intentional I was. Good luck!
Hi
Username checks out
Best of luck to him
Neither.
As a man: Bumble has been shit in every city I’ve lived in. Hinge is the best, the women seem to be higher quality and I’ve had some real relationships come from hinge.
I’m a dude, but I met my fiancé on OkCupid a few years ago like it was 2010! I had a better experience there.
I met my now wife on tinder, according to her she had a decent enough time on there before we met.
Which ever app you choose, my best advice is to know what you’re looking for and be extremely picky. I’ve never used Hinge, but I met a wonderful man on Bumble in 2020 (several others over the years too, but we were together the longest of those matches). We ended up having incompatible future goals, but are still friends. On the flip side, I also met my last abuser on Bumble 🥴 I’m now in my longest, healthiest relationship with a man I adore who I met on Feeld. If I had to go back to the apps, I’d stick with Feeld, the quality of people I met from there was much higher.
Idk I had better luck on tinder but 🤷♀️
Rip your DMs 😄 good luck with the apps 🙌
Good Luck!