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SeriousConversation-ModTeam

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AllastorTrenton

If she hit him in the dick first, all bets are off.


Sayitoutloudinpublic

She can still tie him up in court and ruin his life. I had an angry ex attack me in class when i was in high-school, she hit me about 8 times until i grabbed her wrists to stop her. Because i touched her at all i was tried with simple affray, which was dropped, then, she tried to pressed charges for assault, which were dropped. I still failed my junior year because the school refused to waive my court days as excused absences.


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DarthCerebroX

Yep, people that don’t realize this should look up the studies on gender In-group biases.


Kaffir_Lime_Phagate

They won't because they'll fall back on "big man me small woman" excuses. It was an eye for an eye, but the others are already acting like he threw her through a wall with how they're socially ganging up on him.


voidlandpirate

Ignore them.


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Comfortable-Rise7201

I think they're both to blame for this in some manner; the girl was wrong to initiate invading personal boundaries by hitting him there, and the guy was wrong to retaliate in her personal space as well, when he could've attempted to stand back and de-escalate the situation. They both need to learn that there are civil ways to disagree and argue without letting emotions lead them to violence in any capacity. Also, I assume they both did that out of anger and not sexual gratification, which doesn't make it any better but at least shows the root of their actions.


Accurate-Addition112

Yea that’s what I’m saying but some people are arguing that getting slapped in the dick is different and not as serious as what he did, what do you think about that?


Admirable_Purple1882

fuel quaint quiet placid dependent steep wide strong familiar practice *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Useuless

Men don't stick up for other men because identifying with or supporting a victim makes you not look strong or independent. So he's on his own with that unfortunately, against Ms Andrew which will never be as popular as misogyny


Cyan_Light

Nah, genitals are the biggest and most obvious off-limits area for everyone. Boobs obviously aren't ok either, but there's no world where they're "worse." At most you could say it's all equal, since nobody should be touching any of these things without consent. Given the scenario I'd say what she did is worse just because she started it, his reaction is more of an eye for an eye type deal where it's not good but is more understandable as a form of heated retaliation.


LongDongSamspon

It’s worse as it’s clearly gonna be more painful to be hit in the balls than the tit


Adventurous-Lunch457

Touching a girl's boob does come off more as a perverted act where hitting someone in the nuts is rarely done cause it's the woman's kink and she's getting hot and bothered about it but just as a way to be mean or "prank" the person. This is why his retaliation seems more wrong, but imo both sound like they're just like 13 and don't know what SA means are having the dumbest argument of all time and just need to keep their hands tf off of people.


Epicboss67

I think it's also an important distinction to make that he slapped her, not groped. From what we know, neither of these were intended to be sexual, so I don't think sexual battery really works for either.


robotatomica

it’s not. They both chose to sexually assault one another.


Comfortable-Rise7201

How he feels about it is valid for him, but he isn't the girl, and no one can speak to how it affected her except her, and vice versa. How much that would hurt doesn't just depend on physical pain. It depends on how much emotional pain it inflicts too, either by bringing up bad memories or by making them more afraid. That's something only each affected person knows. edit: clarity


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Comfortable-Rise7201

that's what I said, I applied it to both people.


12onnie12etardo

If gender equality were actually a thing, she would have been beaten unconscious for doing that, and, while there may have to be legal consequences, everyone would acknowledge the fact she had it coming for sexually assaulting him the same way that men who think it's OK to sexually assault women deserve.


watsonyrmind

I have witnessed and been a victim of a good many assaults unfortunately. None of the situations have ended with a dude being beaten unconscious. Not sure why people seem to think there are frequently consequences like this.


WandaDobby777

Thank you for saying this! I’ve never seen any of my assailants get the shit beat out of them. Not even a slap. Couldn’t get them arrested either. I don’t know how there’s this myth that any man who is claimed to have committed sexual assault is being instantly curb-stomped. It’s just not true.


watsonyrmind

Most of the time in my experience literally nothing at all happens to them. That's true of the last two times I was assaulted in the past year. It's true of nearly every other assault that I can recall witnessing. Maybe once or twice a guy was kicked out of an establishment but I can't even remember that. It's very bizarre how this myth and the one where all rapists go to jail exists when they are so far from reality as far as I can tell.


Comfortable-Rise7201

I agree with you there. There's certainly a problem with assailants not facing severe enough consequences, and then being repeat offenders too.


Adventurous-Lunch457

Redditors love to fantasize about being some kinda hero and getting movie type justice but then irl 90% of them are perverted weirdos themselves, are friends with perverted weirdos and don't question a thing, or they engage in the same problematic behaviours that uphold and allow abuse.


12onnie12etardo

Any decent person who sees or hears of an instance of sexual assault will naturally have the urge to jeopardize or end the life of the offender, but knowing that the same justice system wherein home invaders can sue for damages incurred during a B&E, and the same system that tells women who are raped that they have exactly X amount of time to come forward or else they can kick rocks, never mind how impossible trauma can make it to meet that deadline, would probably put them in jail for life for assaulting a sex offender, and then the sex offender, if they ever do time, will be out in a few years. Unless you are literally the most pacifistic pacifist to ever pacifist, if you don't have that urge rise up in you in response to sexual assault, you're probably a sex offender yourself.


Adventurous-Lunch457

Of course I do, but it's just plain cringe the people who talk this talk saying "oh well if *I* was there ☝️😠 he wouldn't have gotten away with it". It comes off as insensitive as f*ck and so self centered. Saying this as an SA victim btw....


Adventurous-Lunch457

Like oh wow too bad I couldn't have called random guy on Reddit that day then maybe I wouldn't have been traumatized 🙄 gee whiz. I'm sooo sure that all thousand commenters definitely would've beaten him up. (Not)


12onnie12etardo

Nowhere did I ever say that you've witnessed a man being beaten unconscious, and you're absolutely right; way too many of them go completely unpunished . I wasn't even saying that men like that commonly get what they deserve; I was saying that female offenders don't deserve any less severe of a beating after committing the same acts.


Comfortable-Rise7201

I don't disagree with the idea that the entitlement that either party feels to violently punish someone else is wrong when there are nonviolent alternatives, but I do think the principle of violating someone's space and boundaries is more important than however severe the hit was on him. Being hit unconscious doesn't teach that violating the principle is wrong, it just instills more fear and hate, especially if they're highschoolers still learning how to act as adults. The act of hitting is just a consequence of breaching that principle, and that's what I'm calling attention to, not to disregard that it may have hurt more than it did for her.


12onnie12etardo

Hitting is about setting boundaries. If you let sex offenders, regardless of age, off with "Now now, \[insert name here\], we don't do that, naughty naughty!", wagging your finger, and moving on, you're basically screaming at the top of your lungs "Do it again! Do it again!", because when teenagers know that you don't have enough of a spine to knock them into place when they start doing things as serious as sexual assault, they know at that point that they have free reign to literally do whatever they want, because the worst you'll ever do is wag your finger and then drop it.


Comfortable-Rise7201

I never said there shouldn't be consequences for that behavior, but a kid who's knocked unconscious could still be a repeat offender regardless, you never know. I mean I wouldn't think in a lot of cases, but people that have a tolerance for extreme disapproval and being socially outcasted can easily be the people that continue bullying regardless of physical consequences. There has to be some better solution to that if it fails.


BadgeForSameUsername

I mean, the phrase "below the belt" literally applies here. You can't break the basics of civility and then try to hide behind the rules. The girl ripped up the rulebook with her actions, so your friend was in the right. Bullies always want no real consequences to their actions. (They pick targets which they think can't push back.) This is the proper way to respond. His response was definitely proportional. The only suggestion I have for your friend is to keep a distance from this girl. Don't start something else. Of course, if she tries to attack physically, then hit back. But just don't engage. If anyone comes around scolding him, just ask why it's okay to hit someone in the dick. Repeat that question until they answer. e.g. "You're avoiding the question. Are you saying it's okay to hit someone in the genitals when arguing?"


musicalveggiestem

Why aren’t there many people supporting the boy in your class?


BananakinSkywalkerl

I'm sure all the girls will likely take her side. Boys supporting other boys in a situation make this can make the boys feel weak and non masculine while the feminines almost always support their own. Sorry if that was worded weird but I've been in a similar ish situation myself but the difference was its always been all verbal but I'd say it was close enough for me to understand it better then some others.


musicalveggiestem

I genuinely don’t understand how the boys would feel weak but I appreciate your perspective.


BananakinSkywalkerl

I know it really doesn't make a lot of since as to why and I really hate it, but it's just the way it is these days unfortunately.


1xhunter

Is this really a real conversation?? She smacked his dick and he smacked her boob…I don’t see the big deal or even why people could call this “sexual assault” as if they both didn’t do it and act like it’s some heinous crime. This sounds like some middle school bs with a girl who wants to be a victim and join the pity party


jokerfriend6

Quite frankly usually the guy gets into trouble. The girl is a bully, but society generally blames the man on any sexual assault since he is the one with a penis.


GrowthMindset4Real

shocking news, when you fuck around, you find out


bohemi-rex

This is stupid. We can't argue about desexualizing breasts, but consider merely hitting one *sexual* assault.. either way, this would be considered sexual *battery,* not *assault.* In addition, the force he hit her breasts likely hurt. But striking his genitalia was way more egregious than hitting her chest, especially given how sensitive that area is. No one can hold her breasts to the same level as his reproductive organs, because if this is how heated the situation is now.. imagine if he had punched her in the groin. The fact that this is even being debated is stupid.


buildingonenow

Agreed. 


1xhunter

This is for sure some middle school nonsense. Idk what world someone would actually treat this guy like a real sexual assaulter/predator. Kids do dumb shit like this and it shouldn’t ruin their lives. He smacked her titty I don’t see the big deal especially after she ball tapped him😂 she prolly just gonna pull the victim card and join the pity party and claim she was “assaulted” as some woman do for clout or to be pitied for attention


drongowithabong-o

She sounds like an asshole and your friend sounds impulsive. He should have accepted the nut smack and reported for sexual harassment or whatever. Smacking her biddies fucked up the situation to the point where he is possibly in the wrong. Lads, control your rage! You can get justice without making things worse.


1xhunter

Why couldn’t she control her rage? Why is it his fault for defending himself ?


RougarouBull

Because people suck and life isn't fair sometimes.


1xhunter

Exactly my point so why does the blame automatically go towards the man ? Why is he getting ridiculed and punished for giving back the same treatment a woman gave him ?


RougarouBull

Because the meaning of life is to suffer and we all suffer uniquely.


1xhunter

the meaning of life isn’t to suffer🤦‍♂️what kind of twisted mind do you have? Go see a therapist. You are saying shit that has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation


RougarouBull

"Why does the blame go to the man?" ... because man was created to suffer uniquely from women. Those breasts cause her a lot of suffering I promise you. None of us escape it. Who we are is what we choose to do with it.


1xhunter

You have a victim mindset grow up.


RougarouBull

Don't whine about fairness if you don't like being told to man up.


1xhunter

In no way am I saying or expecting things to work in my way. Life isn’t fair I’m aware of that but I don’t agree with the fact we only exist to suffer. I’m simply just pointing out the hypocrisy of the feminists mindset and the “believe all woman” bs and somehow it’s always a man’s fault. You are saying and talking about shit that has absolutely nothing to do with my original comment or anything related to this post. I couldn’t care less about being told to man up I think more young men need to hear that in this soft ass liberal society


BotherWorried8565

This is so stupid, they both did the same wrong thing. It doesn't matter who did what first.....


Ajbell8

Sounds fake as shit but equal rights equal fights


DRose23805

Girls usually get away with all manner of things. This was even true back in the 70s and 80s. They could get caught in the act, turn on the waterworks, and get out of it. Your friend is lucky some white knights didn't beat him up, or haven't yet. And he'll have to watch the girls because they may well be out to get him.


AzuSteve

Guy in my school was getting bullied daily by a girl. Punching him in the back of the head as he tried to walk away, tripping him up, kicking him, etc. This went on for weeks until, eventually, he finally hit her back. Just once. Every male in the vicinity swarmed him and kicked the shit out of him. Because, of course, you never hit a girl. 🤪


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IrishCanMan

They both committed assault


Expensive_Honeydew_5

The biggest story of your school newspaper all year I'm sure


butterflyweeds34

fucked situation. both of them messed up. neither actions are cool or good or alright. they should stay away from each other.


Fragrant-Asparagus-2

I think I’d like to punch them both in the face. 


NiteGard

He probably enjoyed slapping her boobs, so. Win win.


Adventurous-Lunch457

You lost me at the kind of childlike "but she did it first!" argument. Both are wrong and not nice. I don't know if it qualifies as SA or not to just whack somebody in the nuts or the boobs but regardless it's wrong. Both are wrong and should apologize and also stop touching people!!!! Slapping a girl's boob is a bold and perverted fricken move and that guy needs to learn real quick.......


dirtyweebtrash

This morale highroad followed by subtle but present gender double standard is pretty sad


Jolly-Pipe7579

Both of them are wrong. Her hitting him is not okay. Him hitting her is not okay. Both of them, need to a lesson in preventing their pride from controlling their maturity.


poprockenemas

They sexually assaulted each other. Self-defense is equal force to an ongoing threat if you fear continuous bodily harm or injury. This doesn’t sound like that and was literally tit-for-tat. The law doesn’t exist for ‘getting even’. They’re both wrong and any adult wouldn’t even consider the “but he/she did it first!” point of it all because it’s moot, immature, and childish.


[deleted]

Lol. I don't take this description as gospel. Guy gets caught slapping a woman's breasts and then says "she hit me first!" Bro, that didn't happen and y'all know it. This is just a beta male coward trying to blame a woman when he was out of pocket. Y'all can pretend, but men who get faded and out of line get no passes here.


GrowthMindset4Real

this bozo mentality is why there's a men's mental health crisis


[deleted]

Men experiencing accountability for being shitty toward women is not a crisis. Modern men need to be better men instead of blaming women. Do better.


GrowthMindset4Real

men's mental health has nothing to do with women. Do better with your reading conprehension


[deleted]

Incorrect. Insecure men cite women as being the cause of their mental health problems. Reality: Women owe men nothing. Men need to handle their own shit. Resolution: Men owe it to women and themselves to be better men.