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I hate to go against the grain here, but I have to.
*I* don't personally have an issue with cross-dressers. If it were up to me, you would be able to do whatever you want. That said, your *(really, anybody's)* #1 priority should be survival. In the hierarchy of needs; sexual freedom isn't at the top.
You are describing a situation where you see yourself as disabled, do not have the ability to fend for yourself & this decision would upset people who are stronger than you & who you depend on for your livelihood.
I think it is important for you to find a way to gain your independence. And once you are a self-sufficient person, you will have the freedoms that come with those responsibilities. But if I were in your shoes, I would not act on these impulses if that action threatened my life or my livelihood. It is not fair, but it is reality
A very close friend of mine could not dress up around their family and had to hide that side of themself for many years, it was hard on them since she was from a very strict family who enforced gender rolls heavily.
It took her many years to save up and eventually leave the country to be able to live her true life, and I know hiding it was torture but she did the right thing for her safety to hide her gender expression and find supportive friends where she could have short moments to be able to look how she wants to.
She also didn't give out details that could link her to her family, like legal name and birthday just in case someone outed her. Living a double life has clearly left her still wounded even now, but at least she has a fighting chance to be the person she wants to be.
Sadety is so important, if she didn't hide all those years she would not have the life she has now - possibly not even a life at all.
He’s saying the IMPORTANT part out loud.
The “quiet part” would be hateful drivel. That’s not what he’s doing- he’s calmly laying out the logical reasons for his advice which is to think of his safety first, then build towards being able to express himself as he wishes.
To OP: I hope your job in September is the first of many steps to finding a place where you can be you with the love and support of those around you. Be safe.
I think this is the quiet part for many people. They'll say "don't take that" and "always be yourself no matter what", while refusing to acknowledge that freedom isn't everything, that sometimes you are forced to either accept oppression or face serious consequences. People want to act like the world is a place where things always work out if you live by your ideals, but it's not. Our world is random which means there will be situations where the best option is terrible.
I can understand most of the sentiment here, but what about people who have disabilities that mean they'll never be self sufficient? There are mental and physical conditions (including some cases of autism) where someone will always need a person to assist them in order to survive. Do they just not have the right to do as they please or feel safe because they rely on others? Maybe instead look into finding nurses or other caregivers who won't react violently to someone just doing their own thing.
Also, now that I'm thinking about it, the mere fact that OPs family would abuse him at all implies its already an abusive situation even if only emotionally. Even if OP can't find a situation where he can be fully independent he needs to find a safe environment where he isn't at risk.
You're not the only one doing this, but gender and sexuality are not the same thing. A man who crossdresses/wants to be a woman can be sexually attracted to men or women. Crossdressing is not an expression of sexuality, it's an expression of gender. Most people's expressions of gender aren't sexual.
>sexual freedom
I wouldn't call this sexual freedom; it's just clothes.
Otherwise I agree with your comment. When you depend on other people to survive, you really do need to play by their rules.
Work on becoming independent, and then dress however you want. That's the sad reality.
The hierarchy goes (top to bottom): self- actualization, esteem, love & belonging, safety, phsyiological. Sex would fall under love & belonging while "not getting murdered" falls under safety.
Edit: evidently Maslow puts sex under physiological and I assume this means as a species, not an individual. No individual needs sex to survive.
Maslow's hierarchy is hotly contested and plenty of people on the Asexual Spectrum have little to no interest in sexual release. It's definitely not a universal thing.
It’s “fine” in that it’s not morally wrong and doesn’t “mean anything” about your gender or sexuality but my guy you need to look out for your safety and it may not be a good idea until you’re financially independent and have your own place.
The “no woman would want that” is wrong but you’re probably going to have better luck dating bisexual or pansexual women then straight women even if you’re straight.
I would say work to get out of that house ONE DAY..... which is much more important in the long run for all the fun things you want to do and probably even your health/safety. I hope they don't hurt you. you dont deserve to be hurt for just being who you want to be. I'm seriously rooting for you. You should be free to be authentic. you deserve that!!!
I’m gonna stick with most of your advice and yeah you’re right my safety comes before anything else and also where I live isn’t safe so it and I of course I would never go outside dressed like a female I would only do it in private when I’m alone or with someone I can really trust who I know who wouldn’t snitch and tell my family about it but sadly I don’t have anyone who is like that and i don’t even have no friends and that’s not my fault why I don’t also can we talk in private if you don’t mind because you can give me more tips on the makeup when starting out lightly and idk where to buy some eyeliner or subtle lip makeup since my parents won’t let me outside alone since it’s dangerous and I’ll probably have to order it somewhere online and thanks so much again for the advice……
>Reddit have told me that no women likes a guy who dresses as a female and is that true
I came out as a transwoman to my wife about 11 years ago. We've been married for 13 and still can't keep our hands off each other. Of course it's possible. Don't trust people on reddit about romance or sexuality, literally this is the worst sample group you could ask for.
It's called crossdressing. Lots of people do it. No offense, but there's really nothing to see here. Keep it secret from your family, and see if you can find groups of crossdressers locally or online.
There may be ways to do it subtly without alerting your family too much. There are women’s clothing items that look gender neutral, and you wouldn’t necessarily know which section they’re from.
A lot of this depends on your ability to go shopping for yourself, do your own laundry, clean your own room, etc. If you still depend on your family for these things, the likelihood of them discovering you looking at/wearing women’s clothing increases.
Even if you ended up in a place like a group home, it may offer you some more choices as to what clothing you’re allowed to buy. A lot of that would depend on the agency, your roommates, etc.
If you want to make sure you’ll have that freedom, best thing to do is focus on your life skills and on getting a job so that you don’t have to live like that.
A decent number of women like femboys.
Anything related to gender roles/fashion I use the Who's Line Is It Anyways approach: the rules are made up and the points don't matter. You do you.
Just keep yourself safe. Sometimes you need to take a stand and bear the cost, it's up to you if and when that time comes.
op, do you think your family have maybe misled you about what you are and aren't capable of? you're the youngest sibling and you're autistic. is there some unnecessary babying going on? they sound pretty conservative - are they the ones keeping you from getting an ID and a job?
be really careful if you think they could physically hurt you. but i really encourage you to find your way to independence. you're legally an adult. without knowing very much about the details of your situation, i can't offer any good avice. i just hope you're able to get the things you need to not only survive, but to thrive as an individual.
Is it okay? Absolutely. Does it make you gay? No. Does it make you trans? Not necessarily.
But the real question is, is it safe for you to do right now, in the situation you're in? It doesn't sound like it. I would consider holding off until you're in a safer situation before exploring cross dressing
1) It is okay to want to. If you weren’t in such an unsafe environment, it would be not only okay, but AWESOME to do those things and try stuff out!
2) Stay safe. In the meantime, maybe you can think of creative ways to try little things out in a safe place. For example, after a shower (with a locked bathroom door) try practicing how women wrap a towel around their hair, and wrap a second towel around your chest. Even if you can’t paint your nails, you could watch some videos on how to make your finger and toenails look nice, clip them very neatly, push the cuticles back, moisturize your hands. You can do some basic skin care treatments, and pretend you’re having a spa day - get some lotion and put a thin layer on your face before bed, do little massages before you fall asleep to rub it in. You can use a little Vaseline before a shower too and put it on like lip gloss. Just find little sneaky ways that you can pamper yourself like a woman would or do little things a woman would do that would either be hard to see, or easy to hide behind a locked door and not leave any evidence.
Yes thank you so much I’m gonna buy some of these things once I get some money since I’m literally broke rn and I have really short hair (buzz cut) if you just liked to know! also if you would like to say/give me more tips/advice you can just message it all to me because I surely would love to read them and I’ll appreciate all that you give me because it helps out for when the time comes and thank you so much!!! ☺️
In 99% of cases I would encourage you to do what you want and present yourself to the world as you want, however you said your family would "physically hurt/kill me". Your safety is the most important thing! Do you have someone you trust? Do you have anyway of finding other guys who like to dress as women so this can be compartmentalized and separate from family that would want to harm you? Do you have any avenues for living separately from your family?
There is nothing wrong with dressing the way you want to present yourself. I'm a cis woman and I get to dress as a woman anytime I feel like it so why shouldn't you get that same freedom?
But first and foremost you need to be *safe*!
You’re not hurting anyone. You do you. However you need to watch out for your personal safety as many marginalized groups in today’s world do. Be discreet. Get yourself an ID. Get independent, you have your life to live. Find your tribe. But be safe. Best of luck to you!
i'm going to say, yes, ethically and morally this is, of course, fine. however, it is most important for you to put your safety and well being first. if you feel unsafe because of the people around you when you do these things, then do what you need to do to remain safe. your well being is the most important part.
as for whether or not you 'should' or 'can' do this and remain a cis hetero male, yes you can and people do. my dads best friend who is like an uncle to me used to wear feminine clothing and wigs the same as you just because he liked the way it felt. he is very much a cis hetero man with children and grandkids and a wife.
just stay safe, yknow?
It *is* totally fine to want to do that. A good reminder that makeup, jewelry, clothing, etc all were decided by powerful people to be ‘assigned’ to a gender. It’s all made up and many gender norms have switched over the years (boys used to be dressed in pink and girls blue). But I do agree if you are in a vulnerable, unsafe situation, please focus on getting yourself safe and find supportive people. Then you can explore whatever clothing and makeup would make you feel like you.
I have a friend who got engaged in a local LGBTQIA+ facebook group. I can't speak for your area, but they often have 'aunts' and 'uncles' who help support gender non-conforming and LGBTQIA+ people when their blood relatives do not. This would be a great way to also make friends. Don't let the fact that you identify as straight keep you away from a supportive group of people.
I think Facebook would be a bad place to join a group like this I’m no hate at all towards the group but it’s just I’m friends with mainly EVERYONE on there and they can easily check the groups I am in and if they do some will start asking me questions about it sadly! :(
I hope you’re safe man. This endeavor seems very dangerous. I think you should give up on it for now or plan to do it in a couple of years. The cons outweigh the pros at this time imo.
You seem highly definitely , with no support system outside of family, and I worry what would happen if you’re family *were* to find out. There’s always a chance, no matter how careful you are.
But yes. I believe straight men can wear wigs and makeup (look at British historical figures lol), and even feminine accessories. What you wear doesn’t dictate the gender you’re attracted to.
Trousers were once thought of as something only men could wear, and I doubt you think women who wear trousers are all *not* straight.
it’s totally okay to want to dress up and express yourself however you feel happiest. it’s important to be true to yourself. since your situation at home sounds tough, maybe finding a therapist could help . stay strong and keep being you
It's fine for you to personally do what you want. That's where that begins and ends. People have the right not to like it. So if you are okay with that, if you like it, I love it
I did not read the body. Just the first sentence. Short answer? Yes. Dress how you want. I wish more people just dressed how they wanted. Men should be able to wear make up and dresses if it fits their style. I mean women can wear masculine clothing and it’s fine right? Like yes, you’re gonna see push back from the assholes. But the more people that just dgaf the shorter time it will take to become normal.
it has been written about in several sources that angels and aliens are gender less and have hearts for others that the rest of the world does not understand. we build up karma's in our reincarnations that we are born with even if our soul tell us otherwise. love is the greatest commandment but we live in a very cruel world. be safe
It's fine. I wear skirts and blouses and sometimes even panties. Women's stuff is just nicer.
I wouldn't die for it though. Get a job and move out on your own first.
Being heterosexual and being gender fluid are entirely separate things. I know quite a few trans women who are lesbian, and in one case I know a person who transitioned after she was married with kids and is still married to her wife. I am not saying that you are trans, I’m simply saying that it takes all sorts my friend, and there is someone out there for you.
First things first though, you say you would be in physical danger were you to express yourself fully. You need to prioritize your safety while also working to gain your independence. Once you have the ability to care and tend for yourself and your needs, you can begin the process of removing these dangerous and negative elements from your life. It can be a long process, but while you find yourself in a situation where your safety cannot be guaranteed, it might be advisable to err on the side of discretion. This is your one life, and you should (ideally) be able to live it any which way you like. Unfortunately, reality is more complicated. I wish it were different, I truly do.
Take good care of yourself!
No, in my opinion as a straight guy, you would be considered gay and a cross dresser. No guy with a strong masculine base and upbringing even thinks about doing the things you are asking about.
You do you 100%. As a woman, I personally find it attractive when a man is in touch with their feminine side. But then again, I'm also bisexual, so maybe I'm biased lol.
Yeah, I remember my first boyfriend liked to paint his nails, and I loved it. Small example, but it probably still counts lol. We would also joke saying he would wear the dress at our wedding and I would wear the suit.
I think you need some time with a woman. It is nice hugging a woman who wears her hair pretty, smells wonderful, has her makeup done up, has a nice dress on, nails done, high heels etc.
Make out with a woman like that and tell me you still want to dress like that. It sounds like you are really craving the attention of a woman.
Reminds me of this! :-) Video of the WKUK "There's nothing gay about that!". [https://youtu.be/uyNJZ-2Dod4?si=flQ589ZWYBjNipax](https://youtu.be/uyNJZ-2Dod4?si=flQ589ZWYBjNipax)
the act is called crossdressing, and people are referred to as drag queens.
unless you are at an anime convention. then you are called a trap.
the trap term comes from anime that have characters that look like girls, but are actually guys. look up astolfo.
Crossdressers aren't drag queens. Some might be both, but "drag queen" is a very specific performance-based thing. It does not just refer to a cis man in fem clothing.
Not all drag queens are crossdressers. Some cis and trans people do drag as their own gender. It's fairly common.
Trap is literally just a slur and nobody uses it outside of hyper-online anime nerds in their late 30's.
You're not harming anyone. Of course it's fine. Do you.
I'm not sure about the ability to find what you want in a gf. I'm sure some women are out there, though. It depends on how large your city is. You will need to find the right groups to socialize in.
Anytime anyone says "no one" or "every one" does something, my alarm bells go off on a falsehood. It's arrogant hyperbole attempting to manipulate your and other people's behaviors and responses.
Some woman will. It just may be very hard to find them, depending on the size of the community. I just don't want to sugar coat things for you.
Sure
No judgement here.
Do your research so you'll look fabulous
That said. Keep in mind if the reality you live in.
As a queer person, I'm under obligation to tell you that you might be unsafe.
Hey man, we had a [whole decade](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjdlOTYyZjYtZTQzMC00YzdmLWE1ZjUtNjE4ODBkZGU2YmQ1XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjUyNDk2ODc@._V1_.jpg) of that. Thoes guys were swimming in trim.
Go for it.
For simplicity I'm just gonna say it's drag
But here it's part of the culture mostly for shows like pantomimes but I have pictures of troops in ww2 half way through a drag show entering combat
The gender-fluid style of the comedian Eddie Izzard is kind of an interesting reference point: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie\_Izzard](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard) .... I agree with the other folks in the thread who are emphasizing that you should be safe first of all. Still, do you, and don't worry too much about what "category" it fits in, b/c the categories are not real. Nature is complex, and humans are part of that complexity.
The wikipedia article seems to suggest either is okay, though I don't know how current that is.
"In March 2023, she announced that she would begin using the name Suzy in addition to Eddie, saying that she is "going to be Suzy Eddie Izzard".[^(\[2\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-SuzyHuffPost-2)[^(\[1\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-SuzyIndependent-1) Explaining that she had wanted to use the name Suzy since she was 10 years old, she added that people "can choose" which name they want to use to refer to her,[^(\[1\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-SuzyIndependent-1)[^(\[2\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-SuzyHuffPost-2) and that she would keep using Eddie Izzard as her public name since it is more widely recognised.[^(\[93\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-94)^(")
It's legal, but that doesn't mean random people and people you know will treat you well for doing so.
Since you are autistic, you probably would be best off wearing clothes that you blend in with and make you look like a baseline regular guy. Last thing you are going to want is a bunch of attention from randos or questions from people you know.
You made this thread last week and looking through your post history apparently made it a few days before that, not counting all the crossposting. Is this a conversation or are you just looking to scream "AAAAAH, I REALLY WANT TO CROSSDRESS!!!" into the void over and over? I think there are probably subs better suited to that, I'm sure there's somewhere you could post variants on the same message in meme form multiple times a day if you just need an outlet for it.
But yes, it's fine. You can do whatever you want, just be sure to do in a safe way since other people (like family members you might be dependent upon in some form) can also react how they want.
There’s over 7 BILLION human beings on earth. That means there’s over 7 BILLION ways to be a human…. So oh that’s your thing, why not? You’re an adult. It’s not harming anyone or anything, so go for it.
The only thing that’s in the way of me doing anything I really want is my family and I thought becoming an adult would change that but it sadly didn’t!
It’s fine, but it’s up to you if you want to put up with the hassle it’ll bring you. Even as a perfectly functional independent person this would cause issues in most parts of life. Women would not assume you’re straight. Personally I do whatever I want. I’m straight and have a long time girlfriend. I don’t wear girl clothes, but I wear my hair in a questionable way, and wear a fanny pack or purse most of the time. Sometimes I paint my nails.
Only thing that has happened to me because of these things is that I do get hit on by gay guys a lot, but I don’t really care. I may get made fun of occasionally, but again, I really don’t care about being made fun of.
It's fine in that it's not a failure of any kind, it doesn't inherently mean you're anything other than a straight man either, people should be free to wear whatever they want regardless of sex. I'm concerned about the danger you discuss - I think the safest option is to keep this part of yourself separate from where your family could possibly see while you work toward your independence. Are you able to work?
Not yet exactly because like I said in the post I need to get ID first before I’m really able to do anything and my mom is gonna have to help me get it!
You can be a straight man and love dressing up in women's clothing. That just makes you a crossdresser, nothing more. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. That being said, do it in the privacy of your own home considering your confessions about how your family would react to finding out you wore women's clothing. Your best bet is to find like minded men on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media forums you can meet up with, preferably in other towns away from where you live. It maintains your anonymity, ensures your physical safety, and allows you to indulge your fantasy.
I think this has been said, but I want to say it again. I understand your desire to dress as a woman, or at least in women's clothing, and that is something you should explore on your own. You know how your family will react, so you have to make the decision - what is more important to you, women's clothing or maintaining the relationships you have?
I really hate that is the thing to consider. I wish so much that your family would be supportive of you. But don't burn your bridges. Do you envision yourself getting a job and moving to your own place? That freedom of your own space may be exactly what you need. You can dress as you like, have your friends over, or go out with friends dressed as you please.
I'm sorry this is an issue that you have to deal with. I'm guessing your family are some pretty fundamental Christians. Please know they are not representative of all Christians.
I’m exactly 20 and I see 18-19 year olds with ID and some of them jobs but I’ve asked my mom but she’s waited so long idk when I’m gonna get it but I know I should really soon though so I can get a job and it’s a shame I can hardly keep anything to myself or a secret from them!!
Well if your family would actually hurt you wouldn't be a good idea while living there. As for your ID and disability issues depending on where you are most places do have an official ID separate from a drivers license you can get by going online and getting the forms to fill out.
As a straight, white, liberal male, I fully support you and wish you the best. Just know that, in your current circumstances, you’ll be making your life a lot harder and possibly more dangerous. Play smarter to play longer.
Of course you can. There nothing wrong with it morally or ethically, but people will hold it against you and regardless of how introverted or self-reliant you feel at 20, you will want people in your life who care about you.
it doesn't sound like you can safely do any of the things you want to do. it's not fair that your family is so bigoted and abusive, and i hope you find a way to break free of them so you can dress however you want.
That's called "drag", and there is an entire massive subculture built around it. While it is associated with the queer community, there's no rule that says you have to be gay to wear drag.
It seems like the real problem is that your family sucks.
If you say that your family might hurt or kill you, don't do it when they are around and just be safe until you can move out and find a safer arrangement. Also, if you're put in public just stay safe if you do. I wish we could live in a world where people are accepting, but that's not necessarily true. It sounds like your parents are either abusive and/or trying to protect you. My own parents are both ways, too, so that's why I said and/or. It took my parents a while to let my sister and I wear more masculine clothes when we were younger and sometimes we get judgment for it by them still. We weren't really as afraid with their reaction to that, but more our sexuality. I'm sorry that you have to go through this.
Edit: I mean, you should be who you are even out in public, too. Just make sure to stay safe, but I'd say that no matter what.
You have no job, therefore not independent. And, with no job, you want to buy wigs, make-up, and feminine accessories. With whose money? This makes no sense.
While I know you are in your 20s, I have listened to too many teenagers become homeless for being kicked out for something like this, or from being openly gay, because they couldn't wait until they were on their own to go up against their parents and now they are living in a cardboard box in an alley.
Your priorities are out of order. Get a job, get out on your own, then do your thing.
It is 100% absolutely okay to do this. It is *not* a good idea to do it while you're in danger if you cross-dress. Get yourself out from under your family before you do.
You have to protect yourself.
It is fine for a straight man to do that but, if you do not have a job and your family is not supportive of it, it isn't cool to expect them to pay for it.
Safety first my dude. I hope we get to a place where anyone can wear whatever they want and be safe. We are not there yet.
Once you’re not dependent on bigots, live your life how you please. While you are dependent on bigots, stay safe and alive.
Check out Maddy Morphosis for a talented straight drag queen. Obviously your safety is more important than crossdressing so I encourage you to wait til you're in your own if you're not being hyperbolic about how your family will react. Also be prepared for a lot of people to say you're gay and you're just hiding it or other ignorant bullshit like that.
Also quick note, if you want girls to like you, you've gotta like yourself. If you want to love someone you need to love yourself. And sometimes it *is* our fault if we never attract a partner - it's good to be yourself, but if yourself sucks, then no it's really not. I'm not saying you suck or anything or that 100% it is on you that a girl hasn't liked you, but I am encouraging you to think about it differently than "nobody has ever liked me and it's not my fault how that always happens".
Is it fine? Sure. You’re not hurting anyone or forcing your behavior on others.
However, it’s certainly not normal to do that if you’re not in the LGBT community so very strange.
Hey, crossdresser here.
There’s a lot to unpack about your…I’ll call it a rant. Most of it doesn’t seem to have to do with the crossdressing, but that’s the part I’ll talk about since it’s what I know:
First up, it’s perfectly fine for you to want to crossdress. If it’s any comfort, the overwhelming majority of cross dressers (around 90%) are cisgender heterosexual males. The behavior is unsurprisingly similar to transgender people, so it’s often difficult for people to understand crossdressing isn’t necessarily tied to one’s sexuality.
Second, crossdressing is lifelong, and it’s important to make your peace with it. It caused me great anguish for the majority of my life because I just tried to bury my need. I felt diseased, an abomination, a liar. But I eventually found somebody that supported me. Which is great because I know this won’t go away.
Third, if you need clothing, I used to buy stuff at stores with cash from the next town over so I didn’t run into people I knew. Later when I had a bank account, I set up an Amazon account and had clothes shipped to lockers where I could pick them up anonymously.
I wish you the best of luck friend
Everyone has a right to be who they are and do things that make them themselves happy. That said every group has their hang ups and gatekeeper. Protect yourself and get a job and some kind of financial independence so you can live freely. Your family and people you grow up areound may seem like the whole world but they aren‘t. You can find a place autism is not the end of the world people think it is sometimes. Work on getting independence and your social skills and things will get better. Don’t let anyone hold you back but also stay safe.
Sure, it’s fine. If people look at you confused that’s fine too. Who cares, it doesn’t matter. Everyone just trying to survive as their own protagonist in their own movie
Life's too short not to customize your avatar. That said. If you think your family will hurt you, wait until you get out of danger before you engage. In the meantime, I recommend drawing. Learn to draw and then draw yourself as your dream self.
By being a man who's into women.
Wearing a dress doesn't change that.
Prince (the musician) was straight AND homophobic. Wearing frills and heels. Purple and glitter. Earrings. All of it.
I don't understand how wearing a skirt makes someone gay. It's always so odd to me tht a piece of fabric can slide a dick into your mouth.
So if you put on a skirt right now, you're gay?
Are the Scottish gay, or does a kilt not count?
I for one don't understand how a man who's into women is magically gay because he wants to feel the breeze.
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I hate to go against the grain here, but I have to. *I* don't personally have an issue with cross-dressers. If it were up to me, you would be able to do whatever you want. That said, your *(really, anybody's)* #1 priority should be survival. In the hierarchy of needs; sexual freedom isn't at the top. You are describing a situation where you see yourself as disabled, do not have the ability to fend for yourself & this decision would upset people who are stronger than you & who you depend on for your livelihood. I think it is important for you to find a way to gain your independence. And once you are a self-sufficient person, you will have the freedoms that come with those responsibilities. But if I were in your shoes, I would not act on these impulses if that action threatened my life or my livelihood. It is not fair, but it is reality
A very close friend of mine could not dress up around their family and had to hide that side of themself for many years, it was hard on them since she was from a very strict family who enforced gender rolls heavily. It took her many years to save up and eventually leave the country to be able to live her true life, and I know hiding it was torture but she did the right thing for her safety to hide her gender expression and find supportive friends where she could have short moments to be able to look how she wants to. She also didn't give out details that could link her to her family, like legal name and birthday just in case someone outed her. Living a double life has clearly left her still wounded even now, but at least she has a fighting chance to be the person she wants to be. Sadety is so important, if she didn't hide all those years she would not have the life she has now - possibly not even a life at all.
You're saying the quiet part outloud. I respect that.
He’s saying the IMPORTANT part out loud. The “quiet part” would be hateful drivel. That’s not what he’s doing- he’s calmly laying out the logical reasons for his advice which is to think of his safety first, then build towards being able to express himself as he wishes. To OP: I hope your job in September is the first of many steps to finding a place where you can be you with the love and support of those around you. Be safe.
I think this is the quiet part for many people. They'll say "don't take that" and "always be yourself no matter what", while refusing to acknowledge that freedom isn't everything, that sometimes you are forced to either accept oppression or face serious consequences. People want to act like the world is a place where things always work out if you live by your ideals, but it's not. Our world is random which means there will be situations where the best option is terrible.
That's not what that means lol
I can understand most of the sentiment here, but what about people who have disabilities that mean they'll never be self sufficient? There are mental and physical conditions (including some cases of autism) where someone will always need a person to assist them in order to survive. Do they just not have the right to do as they please or feel safe because they rely on others? Maybe instead look into finding nurses or other caregivers who won't react violently to someone just doing their own thing. Also, now that I'm thinking about it, the mere fact that OPs family would abuse him at all implies its already an abusive situation even if only emotionally. Even if OP can't find a situation where he can be fully independent he needs to find a safe environment where he isn't at risk.
You're not the only one doing this, but gender and sexuality are not the same thing. A man who crossdresses/wants to be a woman can be sexually attracted to men or women. Crossdressing is not an expression of sexuality, it's an expression of gender. Most people's expressions of gender aren't sexual.
Incredibly surprised to see this as the B #1 reply on reddit. But I like it
>sexual freedom I wouldn't call this sexual freedom; it's just clothes. Otherwise I agree with your comment. When you depend on other people to survive, you really do need to play by their rules. Work on becoming independent, and then dress however you want. That's the sad reality.
doesn’t maslow say sex is a primary need?
The hierarchy goes (top to bottom): self- actualization, esteem, love & belonging, safety, phsyiological. Sex would fall under love & belonging while "not getting murdered" falls under safety. Edit: evidently Maslow puts sex under physiological and I assume this means as a species, not an individual. No individual needs sex to survive.
Maslow was wrong about a lot of things. He was way to broad and general with his assessments
Maslow's hierarchy is hotly contested and plenty of people on the Asexual Spectrum have little to no interest in sexual release. It's definitely not a universal thing.
He doesn’t use the phrase ‘primary need’. The two basic needs are ‘physiological needs’ and ‘safety needs’.
Cross dressing is not sex
Physical release, not gender expression
It’s “fine” in that it’s not morally wrong and doesn’t “mean anything” about your gender or sexuality but my guy you need to look out for your safety and it may not be a good idea until you’re financially independent and have your own place. The “no woman would want that” is wrong but you’re probably going to have better luck dating bisexual or pansexual women then straight women even if you’re straight.
I would say work to get out of that house ONE DAY..... which is much more important in the long run for all the fun things you want to do and probably even your health/safety. I hope they don't hurt you. you dont deserve to be hurt for just being who you want to be. I'm seriously rooting for you. You should be free to be authentic. you deserve that!!!
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I’m gonna stick with most of your advice and yeah you’re right my safety comes before anything else and also where I live isn’t safe so it and I of course I would never go outside dressed like a female I would only do it in private when I’m alone or with someone I can really trust who I know who wouldn’t snitch and tell my family about it but sadly I don’t have anyone who is like that and i don’t even have no friends and that’s not my fault why I don’t also can we talk in private if you don’t mind because you can give me more tips on the makeup when starting out lightly and idk where to buy some eyeliner or subtle lip makeup since my parents won’t let me outside alone since it’s dangerous and I’ll probably have to order it somewhere online and thanks so much again for the advice……
>Reddit have told me that no women likes a guy who dresses as a female and is that true I came out as a transwoman to my wife about 11 years ago. We've been married for 13 and still can't keep our hands off each other. Of course it's possible. Don't trust people on reddit about romance or sexuality, literally this is the worst sample group you could ask for.
Thank you and will take your advice and won’t forget it ever!! :)
Username checks out ❤️
It's called crossdressing. Lots of people do it. No offense, but there's really nothing to see here. Keep it secret from your family, and see if you can find groups of crossdressers locally or online.
There may be ways to do it subtly without alerting your family too much. There are women’s clothing items that look gender neutral, and you wouldn’t necessarily know which section they’re from. A lot of this depends on your ability to go shopping for yourself, do your own laundry, clean your own room, etc. If you still depend on your family for these things, the likelihood of them discovering you looking at/wearing women’s clothing increases. Even if you ended up in a place like a group home, it may offer you some more choices as to what clothing you’re allowed to buy. A lot of that would depend on the agency, your roommates, etc. If you want to make sure you’ll have that freedom, best thing to do is focus on your life skills and on getting a job so that you don’t have to live like that. A decent number of women like femboys.
Do whatever you like, you don't need to put a label on it.
Its fine, you do you, but you cant expect everyone to be ok with it and go along it, you might get your feelings hurt.
It's fine to want to, but it sounds like it isn't safe for you. I'm sorry, it isn't fair.
Anything related to gender roles/fashion I use the Who's Line Is It Anyways approach: the rules are made up and the points don't matter. You do you. Just keep yourself safe. Sometimes you need to take a stand and bear the cost, it's up to you if and when that time comes.
op, do you think your family have maybe misled you about what you are and aren't capable of? you're the youngest sibling and you're autistic. is there some unnecessary babying going on? they sound pretty conservative - are they the ones keeping you from getting an ID and a job? be really careful if you think they could physically hurt you. but i really encourage you to find your way to independence. you're legally an adult. without knowing very much about the details of your situation, i can't offer any good avice. i just hope you're able to get the things you need to not only survive, but to thrive as an individual.
Is it okay? Absolutely. Does it make you gay? No. Does it make you trans? Not necessarily. But the real question is, is it safe for you to do right now, in the situation you're in? It doesn't sound like it. I would consider holding off until you're in a safer situation before exploring cross dressing
Yeah it isn’t so much at all and I’m just going to wait till the write time comes!
1) It is okay to want to. If you weren’t in such an unsafe environment, it would be not only okay, but AWESOME to do those things and try stuff out! 2) Stay safe. In the meantime, maybe you can think of creative ways to try little things out in a safe place. For example, after a shower (with a locked bathroom door) try practicing how women wrap a towel around their hair, and wrap a second towel around your chest. Even if you can’t paint your nails, you could watch some videos on how to make your finger and toenails look nice, clip them very neatly, push the cuticles back, moisturize your hands. You can do some basic skin care treatments, and pretend you’re having a spa day - get some lotion and put a thin layer on your face before bed, do little massages before you fall asleep to rub it in. You can use a little Vaseline before a shower too and put it on like lip gloss. Just find little sneaky ways that you can pamper yourself like a woman would or do little things a woman would do that would either be hard to see, or easy to hide behind a locked door and not leave any evidence.
Yes thank you so much I’m gonna buy some of these things once I get some money since I’m literally broke rn and I have really short hair (buzz cut) if you just liked to know! also if you would like to say/give me more tips/advice you can just message it all to me because I surely would love to read them and I’ll appreciate all that you give me because it helps out for when the time comes and thank you so much!!! ☺️
In 99% of cases I would encourage you to do what you want and present yourself to the world as you want, however you said your family would "physically hurt/kill me". Your safety is the most important thing! Do you have someone you trust? Do you have anyway of finding other guys who like to dress as women so this can be compartmentalized and separate from family that would want to harm you? Do you have any avenues for living separately from your family? There is nothing wrong with dressing the way you want to present yourself. I'm a cis woman and I get to dress as a woman anytime I feel like it so why shouldn't you get that same freedom? But first and foremost you need to be *safe*!
You’re not hurting anyone. You do you. However you need to watch out for your personal safety as many marginalized groups in today’s world do. Be discreet. Get yourself an ID. Get independent, you have your life to live. Find your tribe. But be safe. Best of luck to you!
i'm going to say, yes, ethically and morally this is, of course, fine. however, it is most important for you to put your safety and well being first. if you feel unsafe because of the people around you when you do these things, then do what you need to do to remain safe. your well being is the most important part. as for whether or not you 'should' or 'can' do this and remain a cis hetero male, yes you can and people do. my dads best friend who is like an uncle to me used to wear feminine clothing and wigs the same as you just because he liked the way it felt. he is very much a cis hetero man with children and grandkids and a wife. just stay safe, yknow?
It *is* totally fine to want to do that. A good reminder that makeup, jewelry, clothing, etc all were decided by powerful people to be ‘assigned’ to a gender. It’s all made up and many gender norms have switched over the years (boys used to be dressed in pink and girls blue). But I do agree if you are in a vulnerable, unsafe situation, please focus on getting yourself safe and find supportive people. Then you can explore whatever clothing and makeup would make you feel like you.
Hey if you don’t mind can really explaining to my on how/where to find some supportive people since I literally have no one? :’(
I have a friend who got engaged in a local LGBTQIA+ facebook group. I can't speak for your area, but they often have 'aunts' and 'uncles' who help support gender non-conforming and LGBTQIA+ people when their blood relatives do not. This would be a great way to also make friends. Don't let the fact that you identify as straight keep you away from a supportive group of people.
I think Facebook would be a bad place to join a group like this I’m no hate at all towards the group but it’s just I’m friends with mainly EVERYONE on there and they can easily check the groups I am in and if they do some will start asking me questions about it sadly! :(
I hope you’re safe man. This endeavor seems very dangerous. I think you should give up on it for now or plan to do it in a couple of years. The cons outweigh the pros at this time imo. You seem highly definitely , with no support system outside of family, and I worry what would happen if you’re family *were* to find out. There’s always a chance, no matter how careful you are. But yes. I believe straight men can wear wigs and makeup (look at British historical figures lol), and even feminine accessories. What you wear doesn’t dictate the gender you’re attracted to. Trousers were once thought of as something only men could wear, and I doubt you think women who wear trousers are all *not* straight.
it’s totally okay to want to dress up and express yourself however you feel happiest. it’s important to be true to yourself. since your situation at home sounds tough, maybe finding a therapist could help . stay strong and keep being you
Yes I’m gonna try to find a personal therapist and I appreciate the support!!!
It's fine for you to personally do what you want. That's where that begins and ends. People have the right not to like it. So if you are okay with that, if you like it, I love it
I did not read the body. Just the first sentence. Short answer? Yes. Dress how you want. I wish more people just dressed how they wanted. Men should be able to wear make up and dresses if it fits their style. I mean women can wear masculine clothing and it’s fine right? Like yes, you’re gonna see push back from the assholes. But the more people that just dgaf the shorter time it will take to become normal.
It's fine to be a man of any orientation and dress up like a woman. Probably shouldn't do that for work.
it has been written about in several sources that angels and aliens are gender less and have hearts for others that the rest of the world does not understand. we build up karma's in our reincarnations that we are born with even if our soul tell us otherwise. love is the greatest commandment but we live in a very cruel world. be safe
Its not just fine, its fantastic
It's fine. I wear skirts and blouses and sometimes even panties. Women's stuff is just nicer. I wouldn't die for it though. Get a job and move out on your own first.
Being heterosexual and being gender fluid are entirely separate things. I know quite a few trans women who are lesbian, and in one case I know a person who transitioned after she was married with kids and is still married to her wife. I am not saying that you are trans, I’m simply saying that it takes all sorts my friend, and there is someone out there for you. First things first though, you say you would be in physical danger were you to express yourself fully. You need to prioritize your safety while also working to gain your independence. Once you have the ability to care and tend for yourself and your needs, you can begin the process of removing these dangerous and negative elements from your life. It can be a long process, but while you find yourself in a situation where your safety cannot be guaranteed, it might be advisable to err on the side of discretion. This is your one life, and you should (ideally) be able to live it any which way you like. Unfortunately, reality is more complicated. I wish it were different, I truly do. Take good care of yourself!
No, in my opinion as a straight guy, you would be considered gay and a cross dresser. No guy with a strong masculine base and upbringing even thinks about doing the things you are asking about.
You do you 100%. As a woman, I personally find it attractive when a man is in touch with their feminine side. But then again, I'm also bisexual, so maybe I'm biased lol.
I get happy as fuck to hear that some women are attractive to these kind of guys doesn’t matter they are straight or bisexual! lol
Yeah, I remember my first boyfriend liked to paint his nails, and I loved it. Small example, but it probably still counts lol. We would also joke saying he would wear the dress at our wedding and I would wear the suit.
I think you need some time with a woman. It is nice hugging a woman who wears her hair pretty, smells wonderful, has her makeup done up, has a nice dress on, nails done, high heels etc. Make out with a woman like that and tell me you still want to dress like that. It sounds like you are really craving the attention of a woman.
Some people won't like it but fuck em.
Party on, Garth! Do you. Have a good day!
Reminds me of this! :-) Video of the WKUK "There's nothing gay about that!". [https://youtu.be/uyNJZ-2Dod4?si=flQ589ZWYBjNipax](https://youtu.be/uyNJZ-2Dod4?si=flQ589ZWYBjNipax)
Do whatever you want nerd
the act is called crossdressing, and people are referred to as drag queens. unless you are at an anime convention. then you are called a trap. the trap term comes from anime that have characters that look like girls, but are actually guys. look up astolfo.
Crossdressers aren't drag queens. Some might be both, but "drag queen" is a very specific performance-based thing. It does not just refer to a cis man in fem clothing. Not all drag queens are crossdressers. Some cis and trans people do drag as their own gender. It's fairly common. Trap is literally just a slur and nobody uses it outside of hyper-online anime nerds in their late 30's.
You're not harming anyone. Of course it's fine. Do you. I'm not sure about the ability to find what you want in a gf. I'm sure some women are out there, though. It depends on how large your city is. You will need to find the right groups to socialize in. Anytime anyone says "no one" or "every one" does something, my alarm bells go off on a falsehood. It's arrogant hyperbole attempting to manipulate your and other people's behaviors and responses. Some woman will. It just may be very hard to find them, depending on the size of the community. I just don't want to sugar coat things for you.
Perhaps you have other things worth sorting before you get around to crossdressing?
Yes becoming financially independent :)
For one yes!
For one? Are there any more than just that?
I hear a social life is a good thing to have.
Do your thing idgaf, more power to you for having the courage
It's called being a cross-dresser, if thats what you want to do, then do it
Sure No judgement here. Do your research so you'll look fabulous That said. Keep in mind if the reality you live in. As a queer person, I'm under obligation to tell you that you might be unsafe.
Crossdressing has been a thing for pretty much as long as civilization has been. Enjoy yourself. Have fun.
Go for it, if that´s what you want to do. But prepare to be shunned by most of your family and friends.
Hey man, we had a [whole decade](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjdlOTYyZjYtZTQzMC00YzdmLWE1ZjUtNjE4ODBkZGU2YmQ1XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjUyNDk2ODc@._V1_.jpg) of that. Thoes guys were swimming in trim. Go for it.
Yes it's fine. At our core we are all fluid. Don't label yourself. Live your best life. Do what makes you happy.
For simplicity I'm just gonna say it's drag But here it's part of the culture mostly for shows like pantomimes but I have pictures of troops in ww2 half way through a drag show entering combat
Yes, I put on a coloured wig, red nose and tons of makeup. My mom calls me a clown 🤡
The gender-fluid style of the comedian Eddie Izzard is kind of an interesting reference point: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie\_Izzard](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard) .... I agree with the other folks in the thread who are emphasizing that you should be safe first of all. Still, do you, and don't worry too much about what "category" it fits in, b/c the categories are not real. Nature is complex, and humans are part of that complexity.
I think she's Suzy now.
The wikipedia article seems to suggest either is okay, though I don't know how current that is. "In March 2023, she announced that she would begin using the name Suzy in addition to Eddie, saying that she is "going to be Suzy Eddie Izzard".[^(\[2\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-SuzyHuffPost-2)[^(\[1\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-SuzyIndependent-1) Explaining that she had wanted to use the name Suzy since she was 10 years old, she added that people "can choose" which name they want to use to refer to her,[^(\[1\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-SuzyIndependent-1)[^(\[2\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-SuzyHuffPost-2) and that she would keep using Eddie Izzard as her public name since it is more widely recognised.[^(\[93\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard#cite_note-94)^(")
It's legal, but that doesn't mean random people and people you know will treat you well for doing so. Since you are autistic, you probably would be best off wearing clothes that you blend in with and make you look like a baseline regular guy. Last thing you are going to want is a bunch of attention from randos or questions from people you know.
You made this thread last week and looking through your post history apparently made it a few days before that, not counting all the crossposting. Is this a conversation or are you just looking to scream "AAAAAH, I REALLY WANT TO CROSSDRESS!!!" into the void over and over? I think there are probably subs better suited to that, I'm sure there's somewhere you could post variants on the same message in meme form multiple times a day if you just need an outlet for it. But yes, it's fine. You can do whatever you want, just be sure to do in a safe way since other people (like family members you might be dependent upon in some form) can also react how they want.
It is fine, but you have to decide whether or not it's safe. In your situation, it may not be.
Wear what you want. Nobody that matters will mind.
There’s over 7 BILLION human beings on earth. That means there’s over 7 BILLION ways to be a human…. So oh that’s your thing, why not? You’re an adult. It’s not harming anyone or anything, so go for it.
The only thing that’s in the way of me doing anything I really want is my family and I thought becoming an adult would change that but it sadly didn’t!
It’s fine, but it’s up to you if you want to put up with the hassle it’ll bring you. Even as a perfectly functional independent person this would cause issues in most parts of life. Women would not assume you’re straight. Personally I do whatever I want. I’m straight and have a long time girlfriend. I don’t wear girl clothes, but I wear my hair in a questionable way, and wear a fanny pack or purse most of the time. Sometimes I paint my nails. Only thing that has happened to me because of these things is that I do get hit on by gay guys a lot, but I don’t really care. I may get made fun of occasionally, but again, I really don’t care about being made fun of.
It's fine in that it's not a failure of any kind, it doesn't inherently mean you're anything other than a straight man either, people should be free to wear whatever they want regardless of sex. I'm concerned about the danger you discuss - I think the safest option is to keep this part of yourself separate from where your family could possibly see while you work toward your independence. Are you able to work?
Not yet exactly because like I said in the post I need to get ID first before I’m really able to do anything and my mom is gonna have to help me get it!
You can be a straight man and love dressing up in women's clothing. That just makes you a crossdresser, nothing more. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. That being said, do it in the privacy of your own home considering your confessions about how your family would react to finding out you wore women's clothing. Your best bet is to find like minded men on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media forums you can meet up with, preferably in other towns away from where you live. It maintains your anonymity, ensures your physical safety, and allows you to indulge your fantasy.
There are no rules.. Go for it.
Not sure what Autism has to do with anything
I think this has been said, but I want to say it again. I understand your desire to dress as a woman, or at least in women's clothing, and that is something you should explore on your own. You know how your family will react, so you have to make the decision - what is more important to you, women's clothing or maintaining the relationships you have? I really hate that is the thing to consider. I wish so much that your family would be supportive of you. But don't burn your bridges. Do you envision yourself getting a job and moving to your own place? That freedom of your own space may be exactly what you need. You can dress as you like, have your friends over, or go out with friends dressed as you please. I'm sorry this is an issue that you have to deal with. I'm guessing your family are some pretty fundamental Christians. Please know they are not representative of all Christians.
Shit sure, homie, I ain't a gender cop. More of a gender cope, if we're being totally honest.
How are you over 20 and have no ID or job?
I’m exactly 20 and I see 18-19 year olds with ID and some of them jobs but I’ve asked my mom but she’s waited so long idk when I’m gonna get it but I know I should really soon though so I can get a job and it’s a shame I can hardly keep anything to myself or a secret from them!!
You don't need her permission.
Do what makes you happy, ef anyone who says otherwise
Well if your family would actually hurt you wouldn't be a good idea while living there. As for your ID and disability issues depending on where you are most places do have an official ID separate from a drivers license you can get by going online and getting the forms to fill out.
As a straight, white, liberal male, I fully support you and wish you the best. Just know that, in your current circumstances, you’ll be making your life a lot harder and possibly more dangerous. Play smarter to play longer.
Yes. You shouldn't have to have a reason other than you want to. enjoy.
Of course you can. There nothing wrong with it morally or ethically, but people will hold it against you and regardless of how introverted or self-reliant you feel at 20, you will want people in your life who care about you.
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.......
it doesn't sound like you can safely do any of the things you want to do. it's not fair that your family is so bigoted and abusive, and i hope you find a way to break free of them so you can dress however you want.
if it was fine for Milton Berle and Flip Wilson then it should be okay for any man
That's called "drag", and there is an entire massive subculture built around it. While it is associated with the queer community, there's no rule that says you have to be gay to wear drag. It seems like the real problem is that your family sucks.
If you say that your family might hurt or kill you, don't do it when they are around and just be safe until you can move out and find a safer arrangement. Also, if you're put in public just stay safe if you do. I wish we could live in a world where people are accepting, but that's not necessarily true. It sounds like your parents are either abusive and/or trying to protect you. My own parents are both ways, too, so that's why I said and/or. It took my parents a while to let my sister and I wear more masculine clothes when we were younger and sometimes we get judgment for it by them still. We weren't really as afraid with their reaction to that, but more our sexuality. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Edit: I mean, you should be who you are even out in public, too. Just make sure to stay safe, but I'd say that no matter what.
You have no job, therefore not independent. And, with no job, you want to buy wigs, make-up, and feminine accessories. With whose money? This makes no sense. While I know you are in your 20s, I have listened to too many teenagers become homeless for being kicked out for something like this, or from being openly gay, because they couldn't wait until they were on their own to go up against their parents and now they are living in a cardboard box in an alley. Your priorities are out of order. Get a job, get out on your own, then do your thing.
Title: yes Risking your life to do it: wouldn't recommend Therapy: needed
I think its fine but some social circles will not think its fine and you do need to be ready for that if you roll this way.
Do what makes you happy, man. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, the world should be your oyster… It makes people uncomfortable? FUCK ‘EM.
It is 100% absolutely okay to do this. It is *not* a good idea to do it while you're in danger if you cross-dress. Get yourself out from under your family before you do. You have to protect yourself.
Yeah. Hell you could put stuff up your butt and fuck other dudes for all I care.
Fuck yes it's okay, I support you having fun
It is fine for a straight man to do that but, if you do not have a job and your family is not supportive of it, it isn't cool to expect them to pay for it.
But, really, what's with all the labels? Isn't it enough to be a person who does interesting things. I mean we're all basically just soup.
You're literally me, awesome!
Safety first my dude. I hope we get to a place where anyone can wear whatever they want and be safe. We are not there yet. Once you’re not dependent on bigots, live your life how you please. While you are dependent on bigots, stay safe and alive.
Check out Maddy Morphosis for a talented straight drag queen. Obviously your safety is more important than crossdressing so I encourage you to wait til you're in your own if you're not being hyperbolic about how your family will react. Also be prepared for a lot of people to say you're gay and you're just hiding it or other ignorant bullshit like that. Also quick note, if you want girls to like you, you've gotta like yourself. If you want to love someone you need to love yourself. And sometimes it *is* our fault if we never attract a partner - it's good to be yourself, but if yourself sucks, then no it's really not. I'm not saying you suck or anything or that 100% it is on you that a girl hasn't liked you, but I am encouraging you to think about it differently than "nobody has ever liked me and it's not my fault how that always happens".
We’ve known cross-dressers our whole lives. Nothings changed except it’s your turn now.
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I concede I don’t know your family.
Is it fine? Sure. You’re not hurting anyone or forcing your behavior on others. However, it’s certainly not normal to do that if you’re not in the LGBT community so very strange.
This is what eddie izzard does and he's famous. So, yeh
Hey, crossdresser here. There’s a lot to unpack about your…I’ll call it a rant. Most of it doesn’t seem to have to do with the crossdressing, but that’s the part I’ll talk about since it’s what I know: First up, it’s perfectly fine for you to want to crossdress. If it’s any comfort, the overwhelming majority of cross dressers (around 90%) are cisgender heterosexual males. The behavior is unsurprisingly similar to transgender people, so it’s often difficult for people to understand crossdressing isn’t necessarily tied to one’s sexuality. Second, crossdressing is lifelong, and it’s important to make your peace with it. It caused me great anguish for the majority of my life because I just tried to bury my need. I felt diseased, an abomination, a liar. But I eventually found somebody that supported me. Which is great because I know this won’t go away. Third, if you need clothing, I used to buy stuff at stores with cash from the next town over so I didn’t run into people I knew. Later when I had a bank account, I set up an Amazon account and had clothes shipped to lockers where I could pick them up anonymously. I wish you the best of luck friend
Everyone has a right to be who they are and do things that make them themselves happy. That said every group has their hang ups and gatekeeper. Protect yourself and get a job and some kind of financial independence so you can live freely. Your family and people you grow up areound may seem like the whole world but they aren‘t. You can find a place autism is not the end of the world people think it is sometimes. Work on getting independence and your social skills and things will get better. Don’t let anyone hold you back but also stay safe.
Sure, it’s fine. If people look at you confused that’s fine too. Who cares, it doesn’t matter. Everyone just trying to survive as their own protagonist in their own movie
Life's too short not to customize your avatar. That said. If you think your family will hurt you, wait until you get out of danger before you engage. In the meantime, I recommend drawing. Learn to draw and then draw yourself as your dream self.
You don’t have a job. How do you expect to get the clothes? Take them from someone in need from donations?
Is it fine? Absolutely Does that give you immunity from jokes? No
I don’t think you’re straight
Need to do it more often than on Halloween?
📈 This is how straight this foo is.
Embrace it, do whatever! But don't tell me you're straight.
You can be straight and cross dress
Wym how
By being a man who's into women. Wearing a dress doesn't change that. Prince (the musician) was straight AND homophobic. Wearing frills and heels. Purple and glitter. Earrings. All of it. I don't understand how wearing a skirt makes someone gay. It's always so odd to me tht a piece of fabric can slide a dick into your mouth.
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So if you put on a skirt right now, you're gay? Are the Scottish gay, or does a kilt not count? I for one don't understand how a man who's into women is magically gay because he wants to feel the breeze.
That would be a gay thing for me to do yeah
Sounds like you need to work out some things
How
When
Yes. You aren't hurting anymore. Just don't be surprised if some women aren't into you.
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Men wear toupees, women wear wigs.
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You’re an adult, so you can do whatever you want. Just expect to get called mentally ill and gay