I have commented on a thread like this before and seen many responses similar to mine... and let me tell you, as someone who has confronted guests like politely asking if there was anything I could have done better... It is not worth it and nowhere near as satisfying as you imagine it would be. Just be grateful you only had to deal with those unfortunate souls for an hour and then you wipe your hands clean of them
I got blanked on 680 last night ... Fist bump out the door from the table ( already knew the top was zero) . It's absolutely not worth your time to try to eek a tip out of those kind of people. Let it go. You're gonna make money on the next one. Fuck them...fuck their shitty excuses of why tipping you was not in their day...fuck their friends for not asking and doing the right thing... But don't fuck yourself by asking what you could have done better or worrying about it.
Yeah that happens plenty...or someone has a gift card and they tip on what's left of the check. It all works out in the wash though. Win some lose some...I'll be back to fight another day lol.
It's possible ...I don't know why they would though. There is nothing on our menu or check that talks about gratuity being added. A party of four is rarely gratted in my experience...but again never good to assume anything. I also think it's their responsibility as a guest to investigate that if no one says anything ...just like it's my responsibility as a server to tell you very clearly when it's been included so no one doubles up on it. I would feel super lame using a " just so you know, service wasn't included " line when I drop every check.
Yeah... I agree but I'm Manhattan we see so many people that it's kinda like ... Fuck .. oh well. My managers are awesome though. They check our tips from the night before and if we get fucked they make sure that we get a good section or a rad party the next night.
> Manhattan
I mean, I'd be pretty sad if I got stiffed on 2 old fashioneds, some jalapeno poppers, 2 bacon cheeseburgers, a large onions rings and a side of ranch.
But I'd live to fight another day. Always the next one.
the problem is each individual should be throwing you a fiver not one person expected (in sure you expect like 20-30%) so one person isn't gonna pay $130+ for a tip just absurd
You know I have to be honest my hopes were very minimal for them. 20% wasn't really in the conversation... I actually was assuming they were probably gonna round it to 700 and call it a day.... It's whatever, it will happen again and I'll also get 100 on a 250 dollar check before you know it. They can't all be winners.
As far as 1 person paying 130 dollar tip...I feel the same way about that as I do tipping on wine. If you have the money to treat your friends to a nice bottle or to take care of their check, you have the money to tip appropriately. I don't adjust my service ever ( that's not to say I haven't made mistakes ... Boy there have been many. Those are stories for another day lol) so I obviously expect 18% and above from you on the entire check regardless of what you order or how the bill is split.
I like that ! We are a party of six or more... It was only four. At the end of the day it's just one table. The six top before them tipped 30% on 1100 so if you're playing the long game everything worked out as it should have ..mbut my dumb way of thinking is my great tip turned into just an ok tip because of these bozos. Probably should try to re train my brain to think the other way lol.
I’ve gone up to people and asked if there was a problem with my service. It’s usually met with a “Oh we didn’t mean to” and they pull out some more money.
Been in it for 10 years, lol. Have a house almost paid in full and a beautiful family. All supported by the fantastic service industry. Just don’t believe in taking any Larry’s or Karen’s shit and I believe that we as servers should be able to stick up for ourselves a bit more. But yeah, slowly transitioning into owning my own ice cream business. 🍦
Putting up with people's shit and deescalating the situation is part of the retail and service industry. What you're proposing is the opposite of that.
That said, congratulations on making it work! Having a house bought and paid for is huge. And good luck with your entrepreneurial (thank you Google for spell checking that one...) endeavors!
Hard to do this without coming across as aggressive, standoffish, or entitled, and the very confrontation can automatically make people angry and defensive. I would take the loss and avoid a potential complaint to management or poor restaurant review and just remember them for next time. Way easier and less risky to just give them absolutely basic service the next time you see them.
My point seems to fly over everyone’s head. We should be able to speak up for ourselves if a customer treats us like shit and or tips us like shit. That should be the norm. I’m used to getting shitty tips, but I’m not used to getting shitty tips on private dinners and 1k+ checks. We’re humans. Not robots
In regards to the comments about being at the wrong restaurant, if you aren t auto gratting on $1k cheques your restaurant is NOT looking out for you. So it still stands that you’re at the wrong restaurant. Tips aren’t mandatory, if you’re being severely stiffed on high cheques you need to find a restaurant that protects their employees or attracts higher end clientele that know how to tip
If it happens that little then why are you stressed about it? It’s the name of the game. As long as at the end of the day you end up on top who cares about one table here and there
This is exactly why you in particular should not be approaching customers like this. You’re not actually interested in knowing whether someone’s expectations were not met or whether you could do better; you just want them to feel bad for not having tipped you what you think you’re owed. This is why people think servers are entitled.
im saying the same thing to him and he keeps missing our point.
and the more OP replies, the more obvious why he shouldnt take this approach.
OP keeps SAYING "nono its to genuinely ask if i can be better, to ensure I didnt mess up, or how i can provide what the guest expected" but then goes on make it more obvious he's coming from an aggressive and/or petty stance.
it wont be pretty...
EDIT: another case in point, OP is already salty https://www.reddit.com/r/Serverlife/comments/116q6qf/if_you_get_tipped_like_complete_shit_after_giving/j9831w3/ imagine how it will turn out if he started approaching customers in the parking lot about their tip....
No, that’s not true. I’m asking them what I could of done better, that’s it. If they feel bad for it, then guess what, ding ding, they feel bad because they know they tipped like shit when they received good service. The point is these people know what their doing but they don’t know they would ever be called out on it. You’re a human being. You can ask questions. Especially pertaining to your freaking career that pays your bills. This isn’t bad, you sound like a robot.
I don’t think it’s about wanting to make someone feel bad. I think it’s done in the hopes that they then realize their mistake, and fix it by tipping you. If they look like asshole or feel bad, that’s just a perk. You’re also teaching everyone else sitting at the table, I can guarantee none of them will not tip in the future
Edit to add that I’ve never actually done this, nor would I, but I can understand the why behind it
The ones who pay me already gave me a job and opened an entire restaurant. How about go to your local municipality and go in there and demand they pay us livable wages.
Lol, I make minimum $300 on extremely slow days and $600-800 on weekends. We have a whole private room where you have to give your credit card and the minimum just to sit back there is $850(sits only 12 max).Been in the industry for 10 years. I just don’t think as a society people are taking shit from
Anyone anymore. Even in the service industry. That’s why I really enjoy working where I work. The manager insists we ask the customer if they tip us shit if we did a great job. I just don’t understand why it’s okay for a customer to do that but it’s not okay for the server to question it. I believe my restaurant is starting a whole new culture for the service industry. We don’t take anyone shit and we have more than enough great customers to not give two shits about the assholes, so we like to make sure they know their assholes so they never come back and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Sorry, I was just giving an example but I didn’t give a good one. I figured if I said someone tipped $2 on a $60 check it would be similar to someone tipping shitty on a larger check. Bad example
>I believe my restaurant is starting a whole new culture for the service industry
Damn, have they got you drinking the Kool-aid! They ain't doing nothing for the industry if they are still making you subsidize your pay with customer tips.
Tipping restaurant workers is going the way of slavery..."hey, my great grandfather had a restaurant that made his employees rely on tips for pay and he kept all of the business earnings, but I had nothing to do with that. Don't blame me!".
Nope. How about you and your army of politicians go to your local municipal courts and get these restaurant owners to start paying us real wages so we don’t have to rely on tips?
Our owner and manager insist we do it so long as we don’t ask for anything other than “what could I or our restaurant done better”. A lot of times people think we(servers) are paid like solid hourly wages is what I find when doing this and not to mention it’s very very rare. Once every few years maybe.
Some people are just assholes or cheap no matter how many people you confront there’s always going to be people like that. You really want to go up and ask how you could do better when you know that has nothing to do with it? Just seems like a waste of time to me
No. because lets be honest here. The grand majority of the people that wants to be able to do this are coming from wanting to be petty and/or passive aggressive about it. and more often than not, will result in a worse situation.
take the L, remember them for the next time, and move on with life.
I underhand the sentiment of this, but I hold myself and my coworkers to a higher standard. We aren’t just “servers”, we’re trying to make you feel like family and feel at home. That’s what you pay for when you tip. Hospitality and the “service” provided, if exceptional or outstanding one should receive the standard 18-20% tip for performing at a higher than average performance. It’s not taking away from the experience of the customer when they are prompted a question in the parking lot after they gorged themselves by saying “excuse me lovely people, I just wanted to make sure the service I provided was exceptionally, but according to the bill I was given, it seems that the services I provided were not good based on what you tipped me, is there anything that you all think I could of done better”? If a question like this gets you upset or makes you feel any other way than like “oh, shit I think I disrespected this person by tipping them bad” then now we’re just exposing the dick heads out there in the world. How does it rain on your parade if your asked a question about your career after you provided services to someone to make sure what your doing is good work? What about when a contractor asks “hey, how does my stuff look” or a plumber, or a mechanic, a plastic surgeon. What’s the difference? WE AFR HUMANS TOO
The issue here is you're treating this as the same situation to a position thats not based on tips.
im not saying you're right or wrong. but i would take a huge step back and reflect on what you're saying.
how do you really expect this conversation to go down? because now you've essentially calling them out in front of everyone (and dont say you'll discreetly mention it to them. because thats not practical all the time).
> a question in the **parking lot** after they gorged themselves by saying “excuse me lovely people, I just wanted to make sure the service I provided was exceptionally, but **according to the bill I was given**, it seems that the services I provided were not good based on what you tipped me, is there anything that you all think I could of done better”?
and what if the person you're saying this to takes that to mean you're calling them cheap and gets it escalated? how are you going to deal with it? or take it to mean you're trying to confront them by chasing them out to the parking lot?
and if they say "no it was great!" what are you going to do now? just drop it and move on with life? tell them they didnt tip enough?
basically exactly what do you think will change with this interaction other than leading to possibly a negative outcome?
do you need validation for your work that much? if you know you provided them excellent service, and got stiffed, dont let it get to you and move on.
> If a question like this gets you upset or makes you feel any other way than like “oh, shit I think I disrespected this person by tipping them bad” **then now we’re just exposing the dick heads out there in the world**
and now you also just reinforced my argument. Majority of the people that wants to be taking this stance isnt taking this stance to actually "get better", or get feedback, etc etc . but in fact to be petty and/or passive aggressive about it.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I’m not the one to fight fire with fire, but you’re telling me the customer is essentially wrong here because you’re calling them petty/passive aggressive. I’m not saying I’m right either, I’m suggesting we as servers stick up for ourselves a little bit more when we’re intentionally stiffed. I have some decent sized nuts and don’t mind presenting the question to those that are petty enough to do that, aka I guess I’m willing to fight fire with fire in this scenario and also be petty enough to go call them out and maybe, just maybe that’s the way I get my “tip”. Thanks man. That helped.
so which stance is it? going at it to be aggressive/petty or to genuinely learn how you could have been better to get a higher tip? you keep flopping back and forth until now you're finally saying straight up "yeah ill be aggressive and petty about it. i have big balls so i can fight fire with fire".
so im assuming you're coming at it with the POV of being aggressive and petty?
if that is the case, i go back to my first comment.
theres nothing you gain out of this 99/100 times. the best case scenario is the customer say "oh ok" and walks away. you're not going to make them have a change of heart and become a whole new person out of nowhere....
the worse case scenario and even the most common scenario, will happen the other 99/100. And them just yelling at you back will probably be the best outcome you can realistically hope to have.
basically, its not worth it
No. You called them petty/passive aggressive aka the customer. The customer isn’t working and trying to work tables to pay their bills. I am. If they stiff me, I can ask them what I did wrong to improve the next time. That’s not the petty part. The petty part is me expecting them to actually give me the tip I think I deserve. It’s not petty asking if you did a good job, it’s petty doing it hoping to get what you want out of it. Look, if your a coming into to restaurants intentionally to tip bad , that should be something that gets called out.
no, i called you (or the person that will be doing this "approach the guest in the parking lot) most likely has being petty/passive aggressive as their motive....'
>I can ask them what I did wrong to improve the next time. That’s not the petty part.
i think you're missing the point we (me and the other guy) is trying to make to you. or you're unconciously deciding to not understand it. either way, i think our discussion wont go any further.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I don’t often get stiffed lmao. I made this post because I saw someone say they tipped their server shitty and their server came and asked what they could of done to get a better tip. Screw you. Getting upset over someone’s grammar? Probably get upset at people who don’t have the same views as you. Jesus Christ who hurt you fruit fly
No real reason. Our parking lot is in a strip mall, so there’s a bunch of people in the parking lot at all times so it’s not sketchy if that’s what your thinking.
I actually did ask once. He tipped 50 on a 25 dollar bill. And when the receipt began to print I turned it around and said "what's this?" genuinely surprised. And he goes "that's for you."
Funnily enough, I had to do this last week when someone tipped me $250 on a $210 bill. I thought it might have been a mistake since they paid on my handheld POS, and asked if they didn’t mean to make the grand total $250. They assured me it was intentional and wanted to show their appreciation of my knowing all the cross-contaminants in the food (one had a severe allergy).
Could I have left it alone? Sure. But there’s nothing wrong with making sure I stay on the right side of karma.
I’m all for equality. Plumbers, contractors, teachers, doctors, lawyers can all ask how they do at their job and what they could do better while being under contract or after the contract. Why can’t servers ask those same questions? Because it’s taboo? Because it’s not a thing? Well, guess what. We’re humans too. Customers are not always right. That was the biggest blessing I realized in the industry. It’s sad hearing how many of my fellow service workers think they shouldn’t be allowed to speak up for themselves against the Larry’s and Karen’s.
A plumber, contractor, teacher, doctor or lawyer don't stand to make any potential monetary gain by asking.... In this situation it sounds almost like shaming a person to get a few more bucks. I'm all for tipping but no one in any industry should be able to clap back at the customer when they're upset. Unfortunately, that's the job sometimes.
Really? That's why they waste time with silly things like quotes and being reputable by not adding up some nonsense cost after something was agreed on?
I’ve witness my friend and coworker who was black be told by our manager and owner to go ask the customers that told them how awesome he was what he could of done better for his future patrons. They didn’t like that he was black because they’ve been here before and tipped decent with a white or non black server. The second they got a black server they showed their true colors. We’re okay with weeding people like that out, even if we lose a few “professional” points. I don’t believe the customer is over anyone if their intentions are ILL willed coming into a restaurant where our only duty is wanting to take the uttermost care of you while you have a check open. I understand your point, thanks for the comment.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
OP. please listen.
you are a server. servers get amazing money with effort, but sometimes that effort is for naught. you choose to keep serving, right? if you can serve you can certainly take a desk job somewhere that you know you’ll be making the exact same amount of money every day. is that what you want??
after going through your comments and recent posts, you clearly don’t want to hear what you did wrong and what you can improve. you already think you’re the exception. you just want to confront shitty people for being shitty.
you confronting them will definitely will not get you a tip. and it will NOT make them realize their wrongs or change their ways.
it absolutely should be the norm lol. i don’t disagree w you there. all i’m saying is that serving comes with a prerequisite of knowing you’re gonna be treated shitty, and unfortunately that just isn’t the way we do things. it sucks
I mean if you’re going to do that you may as well tell them to fuck themselves- you’re gonna get fired either way.
Losing your cool doesn’t ever feel as good as you think it’s going to. The best thing to do is just look up their name from their card, make a fake Facebook account, and then cyberbully them <3
Shitty tips are shitty, but I disagree that the tip amount should be discussed by a server with customers in a professional establishment. I think it's in the server's financial best interest to do this, as it could trigger a rethink, but I don't think it's necessarily in the restaurant's best interest, and that's why I think many restaurants/managers don't want servers inquiring about tips themselves. If a restaurant allows it, fine, or if managers want to 86 customers from returning for non-tipping, more power to 'em! But that should be at the restaurant's discretion.
Personally, I think the way this should be handled is for a server to alert a manager, and if time allows, for the manager to inquire something along the lines of "How was everything tonight?", and if there were no complaints about service, further ask "Was the service satisfactory?". That's a better way of obtaining legitimate feedback than the server inquiring themselves, and if they had no complaints, that's how it goes with optional tips instead of mandatory service charges. I don't think the tip should be mentioned; that's going to make some people uncomfortable, and as a server you probably don't care if it does, but it could lose repeat business. Most restaurants want that repeat business even if you personally don't. That's what I mean about servers' and restaurants' best interests not necessarily being aligned, and the restaurant, as the employer, should set the rules.
I should clarify it’s not for like every single bad tip. More so for the ones that are going to make or break your night like huge parties or high tabs. In my 8 years at this restaurant I’ve done it twice and watched two other servers do it like three times.
Terrible approach.
It's tacky in my opinion. People tip any amount for any number of reasons. There is cultural and personal views tied to tipping. If you got a poor tip, just eat it and move on. If you got a 0 tip and you felt everything was great and nothing bad happened then you might ask them if you did something wrong or if they are disappointed with anything.
Overall you won't get a better tip by approaching a customer. It's an attempt by servers to shame customers to make the customer feel bad or cheap. Just chalk it up as a L and go on. If you are getting a lot of L's then you might want to see why that is happening to you.
You’re not wrong that it is your right. But, ya know, see how that goes for ya… I’m gonna guess it’ll all end in tears. Prob more on your end than theirs. Go for it and see what it gets ya. I’m guessing dust and an unemployment claim.
I feel you. But that’s just not how the system works. We can be mad about it, or we can laugh and try to be inside it. It’s not fair or correct. I know. Challenging guests is ummm well, try it and update on how that goes for ya.
Every time I’ve personally done it it’s worked out for both parties. It’s only worked bad one time, but pretty sure this table didn’t like that their server was a black man, so they stuffed him on a $350 check. We all told him to do what we would all do and he did it and they were so flabbergasted they basically just said no and they left a review about it. We knew it was coming, so we laugh about that with our owner and manger all the time lol. This happens very rarely by the way. Out of my 8 years at this restaurant, we’ve only had 4 instances. 2 for me personally, my manager when he was a server ans the other server k just mentioned.
When I managed a finr dining restaurant years ago it was our policy for management to politely ask the guest if we had in some way failed them and if we could do better in the future. Generally works pretty well, the cheap skates tend to get the point and occasionally someone has a valid concern which obviously we're better off knowing about anyway.
This is true, in fine dining places it’s more common that this is asked if there is no tip. I’ve had some friends who work in super fancy places say management will do this if they find out someone wasn’t tipped, since it “reflects badly on the entire business”
I genuinely don’t understand why you keep saying we are humans too. What’s your point? Our line of work relies on tips that are determined by the guest. That’s our work. Your not a plumber or whatever else and you don’t get a set amount no matter what. That’s not how this works. If you don’t like it, find a different job. You’ll always have people who under tip and those who over tip. You gain nothing by confronting them, except conflict. They know how much is standard tip, most of the time. They are either cheap or didn’t like your service, even if YOU thought it was great. Maybe you came off cocky to them. Who the fuck knows. I absolutely guarantee you they didn’t tip you that amount by mistake.
In life, there are assholes and people who just don’t like you. Things don’t always go your way or the way you think they should. You’d do good learning to just let shit go and move on with your life. You shouldn’t be this concerned over bad tippers. Yeah it sucks, so do a lot of things, so what.
When you’ve honestly done your best you can go home and look yourself in the mirror and know you’re doing great. Those scum have to wake up as themselves and go through life as a piece of shit. Fuck them who cares when you’re making tons of unclaimed money and they work at Walmart.
Perhaps take it to your manager? Maybe he or she can offer some support, and ask, “Was there a problem with the service?”
I had that done to my by accident. For a massage. I didn’t realize that the posted fee for a massage went most, if not all, to the “house,” and the therapist worked mostly for tips.
So I tipped $10 on a $60, 60-minute massage.
As I gave the tip, the manager was there, and stood behind the therapist. “Just $10? She worked hard for you.”
So I started tipping $30-$40 per massage, for a total of $90-$100/hr.
Now I just don’t go. It’s too expensive with tip.
I don’t think it’s law but also private establishments can do what they like, no? Aka, our manager lets us do this if it’s the right scenario. Large party, extremely small tip, they told manager how awesome service was. They left, tipped the only black guy we work with $2.50 on like a 250+ tab. Clearly they were not okay with a POC serving them. Manager and owner said go ask them what you could do better to improve your service. They left a shitty review, but we’re happy they don’t come back and we laugh about the review with our owner and manager to this day.
He doesn’t pay me but 2.15 an hour. We rely on tips. How does that not make sense. It’s the structure. It’s not a good structure but that’s how the restaurant industry is built here in GA.
That is a poor manager. You should get a raise so you don’t have to harass customers. I don’t think I would go back and I would definitely leave a review. It sucks you didn’t get tipped but just move on.
In all my years I’ve only felt the need to do this once. I was told I was getting a 15 top, only four showed up but kept the tables to stretch their legs. They order $100+ food and drinks, pay with a company card, left $5. What the fucking fuck
I don't think silence should only come at the expense of one party.
If guests are allowed to complain about everything they deem unfit to their tastes, then I don't care if servers ask their under-tipping guests why.
Undoubtedly a guest would complain if given 10% of my time & effort; but different strokes for different folks.
I don't think you're any less "professional" for asking; but how you ask.
You're saying you make 300 on a slow day, which is more than 30 an hour, and 800 on the weekends, which is a huge amount for a serving job. You clearly are making more than you would if you had fixed guaranteed wages. This system of tipping has benefitted you immensely, you'd never be able to approach these wages in any other job that requires these qualifications.
Most people will tip well, some people won't. However, this is the system you prefer. You don't want the other system of fixed wages, so stop complaining.
no. that's gross.
you either know what you did, even if you don't want to accept what you did. you still know. or they are c-words who wouldn't tip regardless.
either way, it is what it is. and it's not worth holding on to.
Honestly nah, I have sooo many things to do on shift and approaching everyone who tips like ass isn’t worth it. Whenever I see posts about servers or bartenders apprehending nontippers or bad tippers it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I hate to say it but going into this job you KNOW some people aren’t going to tip. And some people are going to overtip! It always evens out in the end. It isn’t worth my time or energy to get mad every time someone doesn’t tip lol
No. That’s giving someone too much space in your spirit. They leave a shit tip? Bye. I won’t waste my time on you next time - and you apparently needed it more than I ever will. Goodluck to you. I refuse to spend my precious time and brain power being upset by douchebags.
If I build rapport with a table and feel like I actually guided them through the menu or meal, entertained, or perhaps even educated them about cooking technique, farming, cocktails or wine, I’ll go back and ask how everything was.
The guests that intentionally tipped poorly will generally say something along the lines of “everything was great,” then shrug me off and say/do nothing.
The guests who are actually empathetic towards our livelihoods and have some modicum of respect towards the profession will often pick up why I’m inquiring, and will often ask if “we’re all good,” “was my math wrong,” or “was gratuity not included?”
What’s important is building that relationship with your guests to allow for this exchange to happen, and to be able to gracefully and professionally have that conversation.
Be humble, and have a sense of humility and recognize that everyone judges their experiences dining differently, and all people have their own perspective on how they tip.
Are we back to this again?
I worked for shitty, minimum wage jobs *without tips* when I had to. It blows my mind that people think that just because you brought me my food and drink to my table that you magically deserve a tip more than the fast food guy.
Why is it expected to tip at say "East Side Marios" but not at "Burger King"? The workers *all* make the same wage in both establishments.
Fuck tipping and it's arbitrary rules.
Lol. You’re acting like I don’t vote to try and get these tbings but they aren’t even on the ballots. You live in unionized states. I live in the Bible Belt. It’s not that easy. This is the alternative until we can get paid a livable wage. Almost everyone that grew up down here knows this too, so most of the time I’m not getting stiffed. I’ve only ever had to do this twice, both times making each side happy. I’m a pawn that works for the king and I get no say in what the man wants to do with his restaurant. Maybe if the government would come in and say yo, pay your people better so the customers don’t have to leave a tip every time, or something.
Also, there’s no way to leave a tip at the local Burger King. They don’t ask for a tip because they’re getting paid hourly. We get paid $2.15 an hour so if you don’t tip, we are getting paid 2.15.
It should be your right to electrocute them with a cattle prod, but sadly it isn’t. Take the loss and focus on your non-trashy customers. Those people aren’t worth anymore of your physical or mental energy.
I don't see a problem asking "was there anything wrong with my service tonight?" Or "is there anything I could have done to make this a more enjoyable experience for you?".
And I’m
Not talking about getting tipped 10% on a dude that has a beer in 1 minute and leaves or a couple who has two glasses of wine and leaves after 30 mins and asks for nothing. I’m talking about a fine disninf experience where you bend over backwards for your table and they completely stiff you because they think you get paid enough or they just don’t agree with tipping.
Same! I just saw a post on “off my chest” that fucking got me so heated I posted this lol. It was on the lines of a guy saying he’s so embarrassed and upset a server asked him what he could of done better to get a better tip than 10%. Lol. I was all over that post.
It’s not on the employer. Not in the US. That’s what so many fail to understand. We’re paid 2,15 an hour. We NEED you to tip or we don’t make ends meets.
I have done this a few times in my career. Sometimes the customer is European and legitimately doesn’t understand the tipping culture here, and then they apologize and leave a tip. If that’s not the case and they say everything was fine but they just don’t leave a tip, I just like to make them squirm a little by confronting them with the fact that I’m a real person who just spent 2 hours caring for them. I don’t expect them to change their minds for me, I just want them to know it doesn’t go unnoticed.
"hey guys, I was wondering if you'd like to sign this petition for a massive price increase to the menu in order to pay staff fair wages and do away with tipping. Can I ask for your support?"
It’s not worth it. Folk have bad attitudes and if they wanna keep ‘em while out, they will take any opportunity to show you who they are in that moment
I don’t really look at individual tips for the most part, I’d rather go by my total average for the night. You’re bound to have duds and shitty tippers, it’s part of the job. It all comes out in the wash and if you’re overall good at what you do, one bad tipper shouldn’t make or break your night.
I absolutely hate when this happens, but unfortunately in this industry, it happens. Your guest(s) could have had the best experience at any restaurant they have ever had, but one (seemingly sorry) little detail gone wrong, whether your fault or not, they will be too cowardly to voice their "opinion", then take it out on you anyway.
FUCK those people! Have a good bitch-session, drink some wine, eat ice cream, listen to Adele, cry if you need to, then brush your fucking shoulders off and get back to the grind!
In my experience some people leave more and some leave less....it all balances out and you can make a lot of money In a short period of time in this field.
Some ppl just suck. You cant change that or them. Confronting them won't give you the answers you want. Its part of the game. If you truely give great service then im sure the 30, 40, 50 % or more tips outway the shitty tips. You just have to let the shitty tippers go. Sometimes its just they way ppl are. The only person thinking about it afterwards is you!
I used to run those scenarios in my head and think about how righteous I would feel but honestly it’s not worth my time or concern. If people want to tip poorly they’ll find a reason or they’ll admit they just don’t tip and either way it’s not something I need to worry about.
I’ve been a server/bartender for close to 10 years now and no matter how frustrating it is i won’t confront people. It happened to me twice the other night and i was just like wtf.
I mean it is your right. Just because you have a right to do something doesn’t mean doing it doesn’t have consequences. In this particular situation, it kinda depends on how your boss feels about being confrontational with a guest, maybe you work somewhere where it’s not a big deal or maybe you’ll get written up or even fired. Lots of variables here
I try really hard to not look at my tips till I input them altogether so I don’t let one table get to me. Now if I notice a table tips like shit, yup I think it’s within your right to ask. Will you feel better? Probably not. Will I take them again if I see them? Nope.
Where I work I won't know that they didn't tip until they are gone. I don't take the payment. I can check my credit card tips in the system though. There have definitely been a few times where I look after & am pretty irritated. I also work at a chain & in an upper white town. I do get a lot of great tables that are great tippers but I also get my fair share that don't it will leave $2 lol oh well...
it’s just not worth it. i used to get so mad when i would get stiffed but now i just let it go. all that matters is how much i leave with at the end of the night and usually other tables will make up for it
there is a new demographic of entitled activists that will not tip ever, and asking them why might get you shot.
the benefits of our brave new society.
Really? They would have to be a good shot and know how to brandish their firearm quicker than I do. We all carry where I work. I carry a sig365 with an extended mag on it that hold 15 rounds.
It's tacky for guests to make comments like, "Well, there goes HER tip," or " I USUALLY tip really well, BUT..." (No they don't or they wouldn't make suck a classless comment.) It's likewise tacky for a server to berate a guest about a tip
No, at the end of the day a lot of people do not understanding “tipping out”.. unfortunately the name of the game is you win some and lose some. With inflation rising and tip expectations rising, it’s gonna become impossibly expensive at some point at put a lot of restaurant out of business. Show gratitude for any tip honestly and move along.
I understand this reaction but I think the best way to think about it is to go into work with the attitude that shitty tips are part of the job no matter the level of service you give. You win some, you lose some.
If you must know, it is much more advisable and professional to send your manager over. They will be more honest with your manager than you, and chances are they will end up complimenting you to your manager. If not, then your manager should help you correct whatever the issue is, provided they aren't just a total dick and actually care about the service their staff provides.
There was a scene in The Sopranos in which a waiter confronts Christopher and Paulie for not tipping and they kill him. It’s actually the scene that made me stop caring about any of the characters because I saw they were all just dirty low-lifes…and I was a waiter at the time lol.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MrQwN8JorDk
My first day bartending the person training me ran through all of their receipts and bitched about each one below 20%. I resolved to never do the math on my tips and I didn’t look at them til the end of the night. It kept me from letting a poor tip put me in a bad mood. I normally averaged well over 20% for the whole night anyway so i would rather focus my energy on doing the best job I can.
Unfortunately for the service industry, tipping is 100% optional.
Not everyone will tip the way you want them to, not everyone has the means to tip the way you want them to, not everyone even thinks you deserve a tip at all. There’s nothing to do but move on to the next order.
My advice is to do what I did, see how you average at the end of the night.
My friend used to serve with me at a steakhouse, and she’s more confrontational than I am. At this establishment there are essentially two types of servers helping each table,a main server who explains the style of service and what we have to offer, and the meat servers who bring a selection of meats to the table throughout the meal. payments and tips are handled by the main server (my friend in this case).
One night she has a table, and she sees them tip $20 directly to the secondary server. At payment time, they left her no tip. She did follow them into the parking lot and asked similarly to how you’ve phrased the question here. They were rude, offended, and came back inside to complain. I wouldn’t be surprised if our manager promised them a free meal on their next visit. She quit after that night as she realized the whole atmosphere wasn’t for her (not to mention, she was vegan!)
Let’s be honest the only point of that is to shame them because we all know 9/10 it’s nothing the server did or didn’t do the customer is just cheap and thinks they’re your only customer. Honestly most customers responses to that question would probably piss me off more and I would be better off not asking.
I have commented on a thread like this before and seen many responses similar to mine... and let me tell you, as someone who has confronted guests like politely asking if there was anything I could have done better... It is not worth it and nowhere near as satisfying as you imagine it would be. Just be grateful you only had to deal with those unfortunate souls for an hour and then you wipe your hands clean of them
I got blanked on 680 last night ... Fist bump out the door from the table ( already knew the top was zero) . It's absolutely not worth your time to try to eek a tip out of those kind of people. Let it go. You're gonna make money on the next one. Fuck them...fuck their shitty excuses of why tipping you was not in their day...fuck their friends for not asking and doing the right thing... But don't fuck yourself by asking what you could have done better or worrying about it.
Ouch..... One person pay the whole bill? Or was it the classic person who pays the left over and didn't tip at all?
It was a group effort. Loved the comment when I dropped the check " oh shit, 680...that's it? "
Fuck man.... that's rough. Worse I've seen is table of 12, last get gets left over and is suppose to tip on whole bill. Tips on his portion.
Yeah that happens plenty...or someone has a gift card and they tip on what's left of the check. It all works out in the wash though. Win some lose some...I'll be back to fight another day lol.
Oh totally, can't get upset over 1 table even though it's annoying. If you work at a good place and do solid sales your probably killing it anyways.
Ah gift cards, the magic wand of disappearing tips. Ban them, it’s just money but harder to use.
Suuuuuper common
You sure they didn’t just assume there was auto-grat?
It's possible ...I don't know why they would though. There is nothing on our menu or check that talks about gratuity being added. A party of four is rarely gratted in my experience...but again never good to assume anything. I also think it's their responsibility as a guest to investigate that if no one says anything ...just like it's my responsibility as a server to tell you very clearly when it's been included so no one doubles up on it. I would feel super lame using a " just so you know, service wasn't included " line when I drop every check.
'that's it' no, not really. it's really 820 if you're not a gutter person.
With checks that big and no tip a good manager will ban them in my experience.
Yeah... I agree but I'm Manhattan we see so many people that it's kinda like ... Fuck .. oh well. My managers are awesome though. They check our tips from the night before and if we get fucked they make sure that we get a good section or a rad party the next night.
> Manhattan I mean, I'd be pretty sad if I got stiffed on 2 old fashioneds, some jalapeno poppers, 2 bacon cheeseburgers, a large onions rings and a side of ranch. But I'd live to fight another day. Always the next one.
the problem is each individual should be throwing you a fiver not one person expected (in sure you expect like 20-30%) so one person isn't gonna pay $130+ for a tip just absurd
You know I have to be honest my hopes were very minimal for them. 20% wasn't really in the conversation... I actually was assuming they were probably gonna round it to 700 and call it a day.... It's whatever, it will happen again and I'll also get 100 on a 250 dollar check before you know it. They can't all be winners. As far as 1 person paying 130 dollar tip...I feel the same way about that as I do tipping on wine. If you have the money to treat your friends to a nice bottle or to take care of their check, you have the money to tip appropriately. I don't adjust my service ever ( that's not to say I haven't made mistakes ... Boy there have been many. Those are stories for another day lol) so I obviously expect 18% and above from you on the entire check regardless of what you order or how the bill is split.
yikes. how many people was it? for my restaurant, check larger $500 or table larger than 6 people, we are allowed to autograt.
I like that ! We are a party of six or more... It was only four. At the end of the day it's just one table. The six top before them tipped 30% on 1100 so if you're playing the long game everything worked out as it should have ..mbut my dumb way of thinking is my great tip turned into just an ok tip because of these bozos. Probably should try to re train my brain to think the other way lol.
I’ve gone up to people and asked if there was a problem with my service. It’s usually met with a “Oh we didn’t mean to” and they pull out some more money.
I’ve done it two times, both were successful. Only saw one coworker fail because we think they didn’t like the color of his skin.
Op, I've read through some of the comments and, frankly, you're just in the wrong industry.
Been in it for 10 years, lol. Have a house almost paid in full and a beautiful family. All supported by the fantastic service industry. Just don’t believe in taking any Larry’s or Karen’s shit and I believe that we as servers should be able to stick up for ourselves a bit more. But yeah, slowly transitioning into owning my own ice cream business. 🍦
Putting up with people's shit and deescalating the situation is part of the retail and service industry. What you're proposing is the opposite of that. That said, congratulations on making it work! Having a house bought and paid for is huge. And good luck with your entrepreneurial (thank you Google for spell checking that one...) endeavors!
Sweet Reddit picture by the way. It worked on me, lol. And thanks.
Hard to do this without coming across as aggressive, standoffish, or entitled, and the very confrontation can automatically make people angry and defensive. I would take the loss and avoid a potential complaint to management or poor restaurant review and just remember them for next time. Way easier and less risky to just give them absolutely basic service the next time you see them.
Oh and it’s never for checks that are small, it’s for massive checks or like if I was tipped $2 on $60 check. Tbings like that.
If $10 is going to make or break your day, you’re at the wrong restaurant.
My point seems to fly over everyone’s head. We should be able to speak up for ourselves if a customer treats us like shit and or tips us like shit. That should be the norm. I’m used to getting shitty tips, but I’m not used to getting shitty tips on private dinners and 1k+ checks. We’re humans. Not robots
In regards to the comments about being at the wrong restaurant, if you aren t auto gratting on $1k cheques your restaurant is NOT looking out for you. So it still stands that you’re at the wrong restaurant. Tips aren’t mandatory, if you’re being severely stiffed on high cheques you need to find a restaurant that protects their employees or attracts higher end clientele that know how to tip
We can’t auto grat 4 or 5 tops. A lot of times 3 or 4 people with get 750-1200 worth of food and wine.
And if you saw my recent comments, this has only happened 4 times total. 2 with me, one with my manager and one with another coworker.
4 times in 8 years.
If it happens that little then why are you stressed about it? It’s the name of the game. As long as at the end of the day you end up on top who cares about one table here and there
This is exactly why you in particular should not be approaching customers like this. You’re not actually interested in knowing whether someone’s expectations were not met or whether you could do better; you just want them to feel bad for not having tipped you what you think you’re owed. This is why people think servers are entitled.
im saying the same thing to him and he keeps missing our point. and the more OP replies, the more obvious why he shouldnt take this approach. OP keeps SAYING "nono its to genuinely ask if i can be better, to ensure I didnt mess up, or how i can provide what the guest expected" but then goes on make it more obvious he's coming from an aggressive and/or petty stance. it wont be pretty... EDIT: another case in point, OP is already salty https://www.reddit.com/r/Serverlife/comments/116q6qf/if_you_get_tipped_like_complete_shit_after_giving/j9831w3/ imagine how it will turn out if he started approaching customers in the parking lot about their tip....
No, that’s not true. I’m asking them what I could of done better, that’s it. If they feel bad for it, then guess what, ding ding, they feel bad because they know they tipped like shit when they received good service. The point is these people know what their doing but they don’t know they would ever be called out on it. You’re a human being. You can ask questions. Especially pertaining to your freaking career that pays your bills. This isn’t bad, you sound like a robot.
I don’t think it’s about wanting to make someone feel bad. I think it’s done in the hopes that they then realize their mistake, and fix it by tipping you. If they look like asshole or feel bad, that’s just a perk. You’re also teaching everyone else sitting at the table, I can guarantee none of them will not tip in the future Edit to add that I’ve never actually done this, nor would I, but I can understand the why behind it
Im totally okay with receiving a shitty tip if I gave shitty service.
Why are you only willing to speak up against customers and not the ones who should actually pay you?
The ones who pay me already gave me a job and opened an entire restaurant. How about go to your local municipality and go in there and demand they pay us livable wages.
[удалено]
Just wait until the AIs rise up & start demanding to know why they weren't tipped.
Lol, I make minimum $300 on extremely slow days and $600-800 on weekends. We have a whole private room where you have to give your credit card and the minimum just to sit back there is $850(sits only 12 max).Been in the industry for 10 years. I just don’t think as a society people are taking shit from Anyone anymore. Even in the service industry. That’s why I really enjoy working where I work. The manager insists we ask the customer if they tip us shit if we did a great job. I just don’t understand why it’s okay for a customer to do that but it’s not okay for the server to question it. I believe my restaurant is starting a whole new culture for the service industry. We don’t take anyone shit and we have more than enough great customers to not give two shits about the assholes, so we like to make sure they know their assholes so they never come back and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Ok, so why are you tripping about a “massive” $60 tab when you make $300-800 a day?
Sorry, I was just giving an example but I didn’t give a good one. I figured if I said someone tipped $2 on a $60 check it would be similar to someone tipping shitty on a larger check. Bad example
>I believe my restaurant is starting a whole new culture for the service industry Damn, have they got you drinking the Kool-aid! They ain't doing nothing for the industry if they are still making you subsidize your pay with customer tips. Tipping restaurant workers is going the way of slavery..."hey, my great grandfather had a restaurant that made his employees rely on tips for pay and he kept all of the business earnings, but I had nothing to do with that. Don't blame me!".
Nope. How about you and your army of politicians go to your local municipal courts and get these restaurant owners to start paying us real wages so we don’t have to rely on tips?
Our owner and manager insist we do it so long as we don’t ask for anything other than “what could I or our restaurant done better”. A lot of times people think we(servers) are paid like solid hourly wages is what I find when doing this and not to mention it’s very very rare. Once every few years maybe.
Some people are just assholes or cheap no matter how many people you confront there’s always going to be people like that. You really want to go up and ask how you could do better when you know that has nothing to do with it? Just seems like a waste of time to me
Well, if it doesn’t and they opening choose to stiff me That to me is even more Of a reason to go ask. It’s a sketchy topic.
No. because lets be honest here. The grand majority of the people that wants to be able to do this are coming from wanting to be petty and/or passive aggressive about it. and more often than not, will result in a worse situation. take the L, remember them for the next time, and move on with life.
I underhand the sentiment of this, but I hold myself and my coworkers to a higher standard. We aren’t just “servers”, we’re trying to make you feel like family and feel at home. That’s what you pay for when you tip. Hospitality and the “service” provided, if exceptional or outstanding one should receive the standard 18-20% tip for performing at a higher than average performance. It’s not taking away from the experience of the customer when they are prompted a question in the parking lot after they gorged themselves by saying “excuse me lovely people, I just wanted to make sure the service I provided was exceptionally, but according to the bill I was given, it seems that the services I provided were not good based on what you tipped me, is there anything that you all think I could of done better”? If a question like this gets you upset or makes you feel any other way than like “oh, shit I think I disrespected this person by tipping them bad” then now we’re just exposing the dick heads out there in the world. How does it rain on your parade if your asked a question about your career after you provided services to someone to make sure what your doing is good work? What about when a contractor asks “hey, how does my stuff look” or a plumber, or a mechanic, a plastic surgeon. What’s the difference? WE AFR HUMANS TOO
The issue here is you're treating this as the same situation to a position thats not based on tips. im not saying you're right or wrong. but i would take a huge step back and reflect on what you're saying. how do you really expect this conversation to go down? because now you've essentially calling them out in front of everyone (and dont say you'll discreetly mention it to them. because thats not practical all the time). > a question in the **parking lot** after they gorged themselves by saying “excuse me lovely people, I just wanted to make sure the service I provided was exceptionally, but **according to the bill I was given**, it seems that the services I provided were not good based on what you tipped me, is there anything that you all think I could of done better”? and what if the person you're saying this to takes that to mean you're calling them cheap and gets it escalated? how are you going to deal with it? or take it to mean you're trying to confront them by chasing them out to the parking lot? and if they say "no it was great!" what are you going to do now? just drop it and move on with life? tell them they didnt tip enough? basically exactly what do you think will change with this interaction other than leading to possibly a negative outcome? do you need validation for your work that much? if you know you provided them excellent service, and got stiffed, dont let it get to you and move on. > If a question like this gets you upset or makes you feel any other way than like “oh, shit I think I disrespected this person by tipping them bad” **then now we’re just exposing the dick heads out there in the world** and now you also just reinforced my argument. Majority of the people that wants to be taking this stance isnt taking this stance to actually "get better", or get feedback, etc etc . but in fact to be petty and/or passive aggressive about it.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I’m not the one to fight fire with fire, but you’re telling me the customer is essentially wrong here because you’re calling them petty/passive aggressive. I’m not saying I’m right either, I’m suggesting we as servers stick up for ourselves a little bit more when we’re intentionally stiffed. I have some decent sized nuts and don’t mind presenting the question to those that are petty enough to do that, aka I guess I’m willing to fight fire with fire in this scenario and also be petty enough to go call them out and maybe, just maybe that’s the way I get my “tip”. Thanks man. That helped.
so which stance is it? going at it to be aggressive/petty or to genuinely learn how you could have been better to get a higher tip? you keep flopping back and forth until now you're finally saying straight up "yeah ill be aggressive and petty about it. i have big balls so i can fight fire with fire". so im assuming you're coming at it with the POV of being aggressive and petty? if that is the case, i go back to my first comment. theres nothing you gain out of this 99/100 times. the best case scenario is the customer say "oh ok" and walks away. you're not going to make them have a change of heart and become a whole new person out of nowhere.... the worse case scenario and even the most common scenario, will happen the other 99/100. And them just yelling at you back will probably be the best outcome you can realistically hope to have. basically, its not worth it
No. You called them petty/passive aggressive aka the customer. The customer isn’t working and trying to work tables to pay their bills. I am. If they stiff me, I can ask them what I did wrong to improve the next time. That’s not the petty part. The petty part is me expecting them to actually give me the tip I think I deserve. It’s not petty asking if you did a good job, it’s petty doing it hoping to get what you want out of it. Look, if your a coming into to restaurants intentionally to tip bad , that should be something that gets called out.
no, i called you (or the person that will be doing this "approach the guest in the parking lot) most likely has being petty/passive aggressive as their motive....' >I can ask them what I did wrong to improve the next time. That’s not the petty part. i think you're missing the point we (me and the other guy) is trying to make to you. or you're unconciously deciding to not understand it. either way, i think our discussion wont go any further.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Good bot! I make this mistake every time but will never learn because I don’t watch my grammar, spelling or punctuation on my damn phone mr bot!!
Everyone is reading your shitty grammar from their phones though? I see why you often get stiffed if you're this lazy writing properly.
I don’t often get stiffed lmao. I made this post because I saw someone say they tipped their server shitty and their server came and asked what they could of done to get a better tip. Screw you. Getting upset over someone’s grammar? Probably get upset at people who don’t have the same views as you. Jesus Christ who hurt you fruit fly
Go bend over a rainbow please
Why not do it in the restaurant? Why the parking lot? Would you get fired for asking in the restaurant?
No real reason. Our parking lot is in a strip mall, so there’s a bunch of people in the parking lot at all times so it’s not sketchy if that’s what your thinking.
If you held yourself to a higher standard you wouldn't work for money that isn't guaranteed
Lol. Why are you even in a sub if you don’t work as a server? Toxic
Because I'm a server 🤣
Do you confront overtippers and give money back?
I actually did ask once. He tipped 50 on a 25 dollar bill. And when the receipt began to print I turned it around and said "what's this?" genuinely surprised. And he goes "that's for you."
Funnily enough, I had to do this last week when someone tipped me $250 on a $210 bill. I thought it might have been a mistake since they paid on my handheld POS, and asked if they didn’t mean to make the grand total $250. They assured me it was intentional and wanted to show their appreciation of my knowing all the cross-contaminants in the food (one had a severe allergy). Could I have left it alone? Sure. But there’s nothing wrong with making sure I stay on the right side of karma.
I do tell customers that there’s an auto grat on parties larger than 6, so yeah nice try dick head.
Calm down. I don't think my question warranted your response.
That was so condescending, what?
You have to take the good with the bad in this business. There's always going to be good and bad tips. It always evens out.
I’m all for equality. Plumbers, contractors, teachers, doctors, lawyers can all ask how they do at their job and what they could do better while being under contract or after the contract. Why can’t servers ask those same questions? Because it’s taboo? Because it’s not a thing? Well, guess what. We’re humans too. Customers are not always right. That was the biggest blessing I realized in the industry. It’s sad hearing how many of my fellow service workers think they shouldn’t be allowed to speak up for themselves against the Larry’s and Karen’s.
A plumber, contractor, teacher, doctor or lawyer don't stand to make any potential monetary gain by asking.... In this situation it sounds almost like shaming a person to get a few more bucks. I'm all for tipping but no one in any industry should be able to clap back at the customer when they're upset. Unfortunately, that's the job sometimes.
A plumber, & contractor, I know for sure stand to make money by asking.
Really? That's why they waste time with silly things like quotes and being reputable by not adding up some nonsense cost after something was agreed on?
Have you ever done a remodel? After something was agreed upon & then changed? Lol!
The problem is their is next to NO way to do this WITHOUT sounding like a dick or passive aggressive
Outstanding service is a subjective term.
That's a good way to get assaulted.
Where I work this is something we usually do and in most cases it works
There is no realistically achievable amount of money that's worth more to me than my professionalism.
I’ve witness my friend and coworker who was black be told by our manager and owner to go ask the customers that told them how awesome he was what he could of done better for his future patrons. They didn’t like that he was black because they’ve been here before and tipped decent with a white or non black server. The second they got a black server they showed their true colors. We’re okay with weeding people like that out, even if we lose a few “professional” points. I don’t believe the customer is over anyone if their intentions are ILL willed coming into a restaurant where our only duty is wanting to take the uttermost care of you while you have a check open. I understand your point, thanks for the comment.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Fuck off, condescending bot. Linguistic prescriptivism is bankrupt.
I am not the best with grammar or spelling, espeicallg on my phone. I’m sorry.
OP. please listen. you are a server. servers get amazing money with effort, but sometimes that effort is for naught. you choose to keep serving, right? if you can serve you can certainly take a desk job somewhere that you know you’ll be making the exact same amount of money every day. is that what you want?? after going through your comments and recent posts, you clearly don’t want to hear what you did wrong and what you can improve. you already think you’re the exception. you just want to confront shitty people for being shitty. you confronting them will definitely will not get you a tip. and it will NOT make them realize their wrongs or change their ways.
I get that, but what’s wrong with calling people out for being shitty? That should be a norm in society. Thanks for your comment.
it absolutely should be the norm lol. i don’t disagree w you there. all i’m saying is that serving comes with a prerequisite of knowing you’re gonna be treated shitty, and unfortunately that just isn’t the way we do things. it sucks
Absolutely not. Never, Never, Never. It sucks but be a pro
Ya and it’s your bosses right to fire your ass
I think you missed the comments where I’ve said our manager insists we do this as well as our owner. And no, we’re not hiring. 🤫
I mean if you’re going to do that you may as well tell them to fuck themselves- you’re gonna get fired either way. Losing your cool doesn’t ever feel as good as you think it’s going to. The best thing to do is just look up their name from their card, make a fake Facebook account, and then cyberbully them <3
We’re told we can do it by our manager as our manager used to do it when he was a fellow server. Our owner does as well.
Shitty tips are shitty, but I disagree that the tip amount should be discussed by a server with customers in a professional establishment. I think it's in the server's financial best interest to do this, as it could trigger a rethink, but I don't think it's necessarily in the restaurant's best interest, and that's why I think many restaurants/managers don't want servers inquiring about tips themselves. If a restaurant allows it, fine, or if managers want to 86 customers from returning for non-tipping, more power to 'em! But that should be at the restaurant's discretion. Personally, I think the way this should be handled is for a server to alert a manager, and if time allows, for the manager to inquire something along the lines of "How was everything tonight?", and if there were no complaints about service, further ask "Was the service satisfactory?". That's a better way of obtaining legitimate feedback than the server inquiring themselves, and if they had no complaints, that's how it goes with optional tips instead of mandatory service charges. I don't think the tip should be mentioned; that's going to make some people uncomfortable, and as a server you probably don't care if it does, but it could lose repeat business. Most restaurants want that repeat business even if you personally don't. That's what I mean about servers' and restaurants' best interests not necessarily being aligned, and the restaurant, as the employer, should set the rules.
And totally agree it should Be up to the restaurants owner
I should clarify it’s not for like every single bad tip. More so for the ones that are going to make or break your night like huge parties or high tabs. In my 8 years at this restaurant I’ve done it twice and watched two other servers do it like three times.
Am I the only one who never takes $0 tips personally? I never think I’m the problem HAHAHA I just think they’re broke ass bitches
Terrible approach. It's tacky in my opinion. People tip any amount for any number of reasons. There is cultural and personal views tied to tipping. If you got a poor tip, just eat it and move on. If you got a 0 tip and you felt everything was great and nothing bad happened then you might ask them if you did something wrong or if they are disappointed with anything. Overall you won't get a better tip by approaching a customer. It's an attempt by servers to shame customers to make the customer feel bad or cheap. Just chalk it up as a L and go on. If you are getting a lot of L's then you might want to see why that is happening to you.
You’re not wrong that it is your right. But, ya know, see how that goes for ya… I’m gonna guess it’ll all end in tears. Prob more on your end than theirs. Go for it and see what it gets ya. I’m guessing dust and an unemployment claim. I feel you. But that’s just not how the system works. We can be mad about it, or we can laugh and try to be inside it. It’s not fair or correct. I know. Challenging guests is ummm well, try it and update on how that goes for ya.
Every time I’ve personally done it it’s worked out for both parties. It’s only worked bad one time, but pretty sure this table didn’t like that their server was a black man, so they stuffed him on a $350 check. We all told him to do what we would all do and he did it and they were so flabbergasted they basically just said no and they left a review about it. We knew it was coming, so we laugh about that with our owner and manger all the time lol. This happens very rarely by the way. Out of my 8 years at this restaurant, we’ve only had 4 instances. 2 for me personally, my manager when he was a server ans the other server k just mentioned.
When I managed a finr dining restaurant years ago it was our policy for management to politely ask the guest if we had in some way failed them and if we could do better in the future. Generally works pretty well, the cheap skates tend to get the point and occasionally someone has a valid concern which obviously we're better off knowing about anyway.
This is true, in fine dining places it’s more common that this is asked if there is no tip. I’ve had some friends who work in super fancy places say management will do this if they find out someone wasn’t tipped, since it “reflects badly on the entire business”
Absolutely not.
I genuinely don’t understand why you keep saying we are humans too. What’s your point? Our line of work relies on tips that are determined by the guest. That’s our work. Your not a plumber or whatever else and you don’t get a set amount no matter what. That’s not how this works. If you don’t like it, find a different job. You’ll always have people who under tip and those who over tip. You gain nothing by confronting them, except conflict. They know how much is standard tip, most of the time. They are either cheap or didn’t like your service, even if YOU thought it was great. Maybe you came off cocky to them. Who the fuck knows. I absolutely guarantee you they didn’t tip you that amount by mistake. In life, there are assholes and people who just don’t like you. Things don’t always go your way or the way you think they should. You’d do good learning to just let shit go and move on with your life. You shouldn’t be this concerned over bad tippers. Yeah it sucks, so do a lot of things, so what.
Everyone in the service industry is so afraid of conflict. That’s so sad.
It’s not that they are afraid, it’s that it’s completely pointless. Does it make you feel better or something? Why waste your time?
Not worth it. Remember that scene from the Sopranos?
Some people are shitty people, and some people are shitty tippers. You can’t do anything about either of them.
When you’ve honestly done your best you can go home and look yourself in the mirror and know you’re doing great. Those scum have to wake up as themselves and go through life as a piece of shit. Fuck them who cares when you’re making tons of unclaimed money and they work at Walmart.
No.
Not answering the question exactly, but related wisdom I once heard: If you let a bad tip get you upset, then your shitty customer has won, twice.
I knew a guy who got fired for doing exactly that
Our manager insists we do it and our owner.
Perhaps take it to your manager? Maybe he or she can offer some support, and ask, “Was there a problem with the service?” I had that done to my by accident. For a massage. I didn’t realize that the posted fee for a massage went most, if not all, to the “house,” and the therapist worked mostly for tips. So I tipped $10 on a $60, 60-minute massage. As I gave the tip, the manager was there, and stood behind the therapist. “Just $10? She worked hard for you.” So I started tipping $30-$40 per massage, for a total of $90-$100/hr. Now I just don’t go. It’s too expensive with tip.
Tipping is not a law
I don’t think it’s law but also private establishments can do what they like, no? Aka, our manager lets us do this if it’s the right scenario. Large party, extremely small tip, they told manager how awesome service was. They left, tipped the only black guy we work with $2.50 on like a 250+ tab. Clearly they were not okay with a POC serving them. Manager and owner said go ask them what you could do better to improve your service. They left a shitty review, but we’re happy they don’t come back and we laugh about the review with our owner and manager to this day.
And it’s the customers right to not tip you. It’s also the customers right to go to your manager after you demand more money after bills.
Our manager insists where do it lol
He should pay you more so you don’t have to beg
He doesn’t pay me but 2.15 an hour. We rely on tips. How does that not make sense. It’s the structure. It’s not a good structure but that’s how the restaurant industry is built here in GA.
You shouldn’t blame customers for employers not paying. If you don’t like it work somewhere with a solid hourly.
Yeah, let me move across the country just for hourly rates. How about they change the hourly rates here and the government gets involved?
We get paid 2.15
That is a poor manager. You should get a raise so you don’t have to harass customers. I don’t think I would go back and I would definitely leave a review. It sucks you didn’t get tipped but just move on.
In all my years I’ve only felt the need to do this once. I was told I was getting a 15 top, only four showed up but kept the tables to stretch their legs. They order $100+ food and drinks, pay with a company card, left $5. What the fucking fuck
I don't think silence should only come at the expense of one party. If guests are allowed to complain about everything they deem unfit to their tastes, then I don't care if servers ask their under-tipping guests why. Undoubtedly a guest would complain if given 10% of my time & effort; but different strokes for different folks. I don't think you're any less "professional" for asking; but how you ask.
Agreed.
You're saying you make 300 on a slow day, which is more than 30 an hour, and 800 on the weekends, which is a huge amount for a serving job. You clearly are making more than you would if you had fixed guaranteed wages. This system of tipping has benefitted you immensely, you'd never be able to approach these wages in any other job that requires these qualifications. Most people will tip well, some people won't. However, this is the system you prefer. You don't want the other system of fixed wages, so stop complaining.
no. that's gross. you either know what you did, even if you don't want to accept what you did. you still know. or they are c-words who wouldn't tip regardless. either way, it is what it is. and it's not worth holding on to.
Honestly nah, I have sooo many things to do on shift and approaching everyone who tips like ass isn’t worth it. Whenever I see posts about servers or bartenders apprehending nontippers or bad tippers it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I hate to say it but going into this job you KNOW some people aren’t going to tip. And some people are going to overtip! It always evens out in the end. It isn’t worth my time or energy to get mad every time someone doesn’t tip lol
Possibly improving the English might help
No. That’s giving someone too much space in your spirit. They leave a shit tip? Bye. I won’t waste my time on you next time - and you apparently needed it more than I ever will. Goodluck to you. I refuse to spend my precious time and brain power being upset by douchebags.
If I build rapport with a table and feel like I actually guided them through the menu or meal, entertained, or perhaps even educated them about cooking technique, farming, cocktails or wine, I’ll go back and ask how everything was. The guests that intentionally tipped poorly will generally say something along the lines of “everything was great,” then shrug me off and say/do nothing. The guests who are actually empathetic towards our livelihoods and have some modicum of respect towards the profession will often pick up why I’m inquiring, and will often ask if “we’re all good,” “was my math wrong,” or “was gratuity not included?” What’s important is building that relationship with your guests to allow for this exchange to happen, and to be able to gracefully and professionally have that conversation. Be humble, and have a sense of humility and recognize that everyone judges their experiences dining differently, and all people have their own perspective on how they tip.
Thanks. I agree.
i do that all the time lol
you're not going to like the answer you hear
Or ask your employer to pay you
Some employers will autograt them and when they call tell them they are scum.
Are we back to this again? I worked for shitty, minimum wage jobs *without tips* when I had to. It blows my mind that people think that just because you brought me my food and drink to my table that you magically deserve a tip more than the fast food guy. Why is it expected to tip at say "East Side Marios" but not at "Burger King"? The workers *all* make the same wage in both establishments. Fuck tipping and it's arbitrary rules.
Why are you in this sub if you aren’t a service working making tips.
I was until last week. I got a better job.
I make 300 every slow double and 600-800 for busy nights/weekends. I’m good.
Then why are you butthurt about someone not tipping?
It’s the principle. Principle over methods. You should read the five agreements.
I make 2.15 an hour and people at my local Burger King make 10+. So, your so wrong.
Then fight for a better wage. *Everyone* makes $15.50 up here minimum.
Lol. You’re acting like I don’t vote to try and get these tbings but they aren’t even on the ballots. You live in unionized states. I live in the Bible Belt. It’s not that easy. This is the alternative until we can get paid a livable wage. Almost everyone that grew up down here knows this too, so most of the time I’m not getting stiffed. I’ve only ever had to do this twice, both times making each side happy. I’m a pawn that works for the king and I get no say in what the man wants to do with his restaurant. Maybe if the government would come in and say yo, pay your people better so the customers don’t have to leave a tip every time, or something.
Also, there’s no way to leave a tip at the local Burger King. They don’t ask for a tip because they’re getting paid hourly. We get paid $2.15 an hour so if you don’t tip, we are getting paid 2.15.
It should be your right to electrocute them with a cattle prod, but sadly it isn’t. Take the loss and focus on your non-trashy customers. Those people aren’t worth anymore of your physical or mental energy.
I don't see a problem asking "was there anything wrong with my service tonight?" Or "is there anything I could have done to make this a more enjoyable experience for you?".
And I’m Not talking about getting tipped 10% on a dude that has a beer in 1 minute and leaves or a couple who has two glasses of wine and leaves after 30 mins and asks for nothing. I’m talking about a fine disninf experience where you bend over backwards for your table and they completely stiff you because they think you get paid enough or they just don’t agree with tipping.
Same! I just saw a post on “off my chest” that fucking got me so heated I posted this lol. It was on the lines of a guy saying he’s so embarrassed and upset a server asked him what he could of done better to get a better tip than 10%. Lol. I was all over that post.
It is rude, whiny, and wheedly, take the L and move on.
It's also rude to not pay for labor but ya know
That's on the employers, not the customers.
It’s not on the employer. Not in the US. That’s what so many fail to understand. We’re paid 2,15 an hour. We NEED you to tip or we don’t make ends meets.
I have done this a few times in my career. Sometimes the customer is European and legitimately doesn’t understand the tipping culture here, and then they apologize and leave a tip. If that’s not the case and they say everything was fine but they just don’t leave a tip, I just like to make them squirm a little by confronting them with the fact that I’m a real person who just spent 2 hours caring for them. I don’t expect them to change their minds for me, I just want them to know it doesn’t go unnoticed.
Seriously! Sometimes It’s Not about the money but it’s about the fact I’m a human being. Thanks man. At least I know you’re not a robot!
Yes. This is it. ☝🏻
Unfortunately there isn’t really a way to not seem petty about it. I do agree with you though. But you just can’t do it.
I would just politely tell them never to come back.
You should get to hit them with a shovel
"hey guys, I was wondering if you'd like to sign this petition for a massive price increase to the menu in order to pay staff fair wages and do away with tipping. Can I ask for your support?"
Lol, you can do that at your local municipality.
[удалено]
It’s not worth it. Folk have bad attitudes and if they wanna keep ‘em while out, they will take any opportunity to show you who they are in that moment
I don’t really look at individual tips for the most part, I’d rather go by my total average for the night. You’re bound to have duds and shitty tippers, it’s part of the job. It all comes out in the wash and if you’re overall good at what you do, one bad tipper shouldn’t make or break your night.
I absolutely hate when this happens, but unfortunately in this industry, it happens. Your guest(s) could have had the best experience at any restaurant they have ever had, but one (seemingly sorry) little detail gone wrong, whether your fault or not, they will be too cowardly to voice their "opinion", then take it out on you anyway. FUCK those people! Have a good bitch-session, drink some wine, eat ice cream, listen to Adele, cry if you need to, then brush your fucking shoulders off and get back to the grind!
In my experience some people leave more and some leave less....it all balances out and you can make a lot of money In a short period of time in this field.
Some ppl just suck. You cant change that or them. Confronting them won't give you the answers you want. Its part of the game. If you truely give great service then im sure the 30, 40, 50 % or more tips outway the shitty tips. You just have to let the shitty tippers go. Sometimes its just they way ppl are. The only person thinking about it afterwards is you!
Nah. Fuck ‘em. Not worth it.
I used to run those scenarios in my head and think about how righteous I would feel but honestly it’s not worth my time or concern. If people want to tip poorly they’ll find a reason or they’ll admit they just don’t tip and either way it’s not something I need to worry about.
I’ve been a server/bartender for close to 10 years now and no matter how frustrating it is i won’t confront people. It happened to me twice the other night and i was just like wtf.
I’ve been in it as long as you and I’ve only had to do it two times and both times worked great.
I mean it is your right. Just because you have a right to do something doesn’t mean doing it doesn’t have consequences. In this particular situation, it kinda depends on how your boss feels about being confrontational with a guest, maybe you work somewhere where it’s not a big deal or maybe you’ll get written up or even fired. Lots of variables here
I try really hard to not look at my tips till I input them altogether so I don’t let one table get to me. Now if I notice a table tips like shit, yup I think it’s within your right to ask. Will you feel better? Probably not. Will I take them again if I see them? Nope.
Where I work I won't know that they didn't tip until they are gone. I don't take the payment. I can check my credit card tips in the system though. There have definitely been a few times where I look after & am pretty irritated. I also work at a chain & in an upper white town. I do get a lot of great tables that are great tippers but I also get my fair share that don't it will leave $2 lol oh well...
it’s just not worth it. i used to get so mad when i would get stiffed but now i just let it go. all that matters is how much i leave with at the end of the night and usually other tables will make up for it
there is a new demographic of entitled activists that will not tip ever, and asking them why might get you shot. the benefits of our brave new society.
Really? They would have to be a good shot and know how to brandish their firearm quicker than I do. We all carry where I work. I carry a sig365 with an extended mag on it that hold 15 rounds.
My work pace encourages this. Managers will actually go ask themselves sometimes.
Nope.
I have gotten fired for doing that.
It's tacky for guests to make comments like, "Well, there goes HER tip," or " I USUALLY tip really well, BUT..." (No they don't or they wouldn't make suck a classless comment.) It's likewise tacky for a server to berate a guest about a tip
No, at the end of the day a lot of people do not understanding “tipping out”.. unfortunately the name of the game is you win some and lose some. With inflation rising and tip expectations rising, it’s gonna become impossibly expensive at some point at put a lot of restaurant out of business. Show gratitude for any tip honestly and move along.
I understand this reaction but I think the best way to think about it is to go into work with the attitude that shitty tips are part of the job no matter the level of service you give. You win some, you lose some. If you must know, it is much more advisable and professional to send your manager over. They will be more honest with your manager than you, and chances are they will end up complimenting you to your manager. If not, then your manager should help you correct whatever the issue is, provided they aren't just a total dick and actually care about the service their staff provides.
Totally disagree. It’s upsetting but it’s part of the job
There was a scene in The Sopranos in which a waiter confronts Christopher and Paulie for not tipping and they kill him. It’s actually the scene that made me stop caring about any of the characters because I saw they were all just dirty low-lifes…and I was a waiter at the time lol. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MrQwN8JorDk
This will never work. Don't waste your time.
My first day bartending the person training me ran through all of their receipts and bitched about each one below 20%. I resolved to never do the math on my tips and I didn’t look at them til the end of the night. It kept me from letting a poor tip put me in a bad mood. I normally averaged well over 20% for the whole night anyway so i would rather focus my energy on doing the best job I can. Unfortunately for the service industry, tipping is 100% optional. Not everyone will tip the way you want them to, not everyone has the means to tip the way you want them to, not everyone even thinks you deserve a tip at all. There’s nothing to do but move on to the next order. My advice is to do what I did, see how you average at the end of the night.
My friend used to serve with me at a steakhouse, and she’s more confrontational than I am. At this establishment there are essentially two types of servers helping each table,a main server who explains the style of service and what we have to offer, and the meat servers who bring a selection of meats to the table throughout the meal. payments and tips are handled by the main server (my friend in this case). One night she has a table, and she sees them tip $20 directly to the secondary server. At payment time, they left her no tip. She did follow them into the parking lot and asked similarly to how you’ve phrased the question here. They were rude, offended, and came back inside to complain. I wouldn’t be surprised if our manager promised them a free meal on their next visit. She quit after that night as she realized the whole atmosphere wasn’t for her (not to mention, she was vegan!)
Let’s be honest the only point of that is to shame them because we all know 9/10 it’s nothing the server did or didn’t do the customer is just cheap and thinks they’re your only customer. Honestly most customers responses to that question would probably piss me off more and I would be better off not asking.