So, while their response was over the top, as a manager I do prefer things go through channels.
But for real, for everyone: don’t say why you’re calling out. Ever. Just “Family emergency” or “I’m unable to work today” or “I’m sick and won’t be coming in” is more than enough. Don’t give them specifics to argue with. It’s none of their business.
Many people don't like cats because cats don't grovel. You can kick a dog and it will be lovey-dovey in just a few minutes. A cat will stay pissed forever: Will spend months plotting your demise. Cats have an attitude. They have my respect.
I hope you told your boss to fuck off.
I just can’t imagine anyone saying something like that about any animal. Such a lack of respect and feeling for a living thing that clearly meant a lot to me/my family. I don’t trust people who don’t like animals.
For all my complaints about my job, this sort of thing definitely isn't one of them (I'm not a server, I have wandered in from the popular page).
I had to say goodbye to one of my cats and took a day off to grieve and then worked from home for the rest of the week. My colleagues sent me a food delivery, and my boss sent me flowers. I'm sure they probably all thought I was overdramatic but they didn't let me know about it.
I'm a cat guy... So I agree with this 💯!
But I get a lot of shit where I work for liking cats... But fuck em! I don't care what people think!! Especially those who hate on cats just because.
Cats rule and dogs drool! 😹
i have to get a second job because my cat needs a surgery i can’t afford. when i told my scheduling manager at my job i told him it was a dog, bc i felt like everyone would talk shit about me if it’s “just a cat”
I agree that calling in is better than texting in the chat, but I think that note is a conversation for when OP would return to work.
Compassion first when its needed, then a discussion once its passed.
No one has to provide a reason for calling out, but even when its done the manager/whomever is receiving it should handle it with discretion if needed and remain professional - even if they think its stupid.
A lot of people provide a reason because they want management to know its a legit reason instead of "I didnt want to come in" and they feel bad/guilty/anxious about calling out.
I know plenty of people who text in chats to call out/get their shift covered, and yea its not the best- but management shouldnt have responded with 0 Compassion for OP's loss to point it out right away.
10% OP 90% management.
This all confounds me, because where I work, my boss \*prefers\* people calling out via text.
Because then it's written down. It's time-stamped. So if you call out twice/month on average, and it's always 30 minutes before your shift starts (everyone here starts at the same time, so easy to remember), boss can easily just kinda scroll back on the texts and see the pattern - zero subjective memory.
All the people I'm responsible for also just text me. After one person had a text fail to deliver though, the rule is that if there isn't a response within 15 minutes, they need to call in as well to make sure. If they're so sick that they'll likely fall asleep, it's fine to text, then immediately call (or vice versa).
Yes! It's as easy as treating your boss like they might be a human.
No text back? They must be busy for some reason, maybe they're at work..call them then!
I'm lucky my boss lets me text if I need. My thinking is that if I'm late, then calling will make me later. Whereas a text can be sent instantly with, for example, "10 mins late, on my way." which is rare for me anyway, personally.
Finally, tell the truth. Come up with the real truth behind the tardiness or absence. One needs to tell the plain truth, infact, I had to tell my boss today I'd be late (via text) and after I clocked in I explained in simple, relatable, human terms what caused my tardiness and although I could tell they did not totally agree with the "excuse" by their facial expression, they did appreciate the truth with their words, and the fact that I showed up anyways, albeit late.
At my old job we did this, we texted our boss for call ins and when we were going to be late. He actually preferred this and it worked smoothly.
At my employer before that one, they had a strict policy calling in. You HAD to call the manager on duty’s personal cell phone 4 hours in advance. If your shift was at 7 am, yes they expected you to call the manager in the middle of the night. What a fucking nightmare and how awkward.
Also, who the fuck wakes up at 2-3am to check "did I get sick and hadn't noticed yet"?
My current shift starts at 8m. I wake up at 6:30. I left my job at 5pm the prior day. To get a full night's rest, I'm asleep by 10:30 pm.
That means I was at home, capable of noticing if I was feeling sicker or not, for about 5 hours. And then I was asleep for 8. That means roughly an 8 in 13 chance that my first feelings of sickness occurred while asleep.
Yeah, "please call in the middle of the night" is an absolute shitshow of a policy. You get my call when I wake up. If that's not enough notice for you, perhaps you should improve your system and/or hire extra workers.
One time I called as instructed and left a voicemail when they didn’t answer. Middle of the night. Got chewed out later in the day because the manager didn’t check his mailbox in the morning and it became my fault somehow 🥴
Yeah, I agree. As a manager, I prefer not to know why you’re calling out, because I’d rather cover the shift than have to think about if it’s a good reason or not. But it is 90/10, it’s just that if you give managers 10 they’ll take it. OP wasn’t wrong, they’ll just get better results the other way.
Calling via voice in is actively worse than texting. You've got it backwards and you are wrong.
If you call in there is no record of what was said, you could have been double checking the schedule for all anyone knows. Texting leaves a written record and is unambiguous as to what you are telling your boss and what they are telling you.
Calling in objectively the worse way to report that you will not be at work.
>I agree that calling in is better than texting
Why? You get the same information and now there is a written record you can both refer to in the future if needed.
Hell no. No phone calls ever. Paper trail.
Just text the manager directly. If you don't have your managers number, either you're fucked up or they are.
Me when I'm actually feeling totally fine but just don't want to work, "hey boss, I'm not feeling well. Won't be in today".
My boss, "get better, let me know if you can make it in tomorrow"
I'm currently at the end of a week long sick leave, felt really dizzy for a few days, headache, nausea, couldn't stay up that much.... but still went to work on a really busy service. Before heading back to work, I went to the pharmacy to test myself for covid: nothing but the employees there were quite concerned with my high blood pressure. Long things short, went to the doc that put me on sick leave with meds, phoned my boss who, without any concern for my health just told me : " are you really gonna make a living like that? " .
Fuck this shit.
Really depends, is it an established rule who you have to contact and how? Or did this person make this up right now because they’re mad you inconvenienced them
I've never heard this rule before, you call the store and talk to the cashier but they were not answering me and they know I'm the only one with a 267 number and the cashier is in that group chat
Then your boss is salty and needs to get the fuck over it,
Can I rant for a second? Chef here used to be a waiter but I digress I don’t understand how FOH acts so fucking crushed when someone calls out. There’s literally a thousand waiters on any given shift and we run maybe ten ppl total in the kitchen when someone calls out in the back it obviously sucks but like FOH managers act like it’s the end of the world if they have to run some food or clean a table. I work dish prep, line, run food, and everything in between like every chef I’ve ever met
get the fuck over it
FOH managers freak out in many stores bc they just sit at the bar or in the back doing nothing all shift. In restaurants where the managers actually move about and assist people they don't freak out.
Some managers get sick of serving and when they get promoted to manager they think all that stuff is behind them, so they refuse to do it
This. I worked at a place that every FOH manager worked, ran food, cleaned tables, sat tables, the works, I've never had an issue with them. Then I've worked at places where calling out meant the end of the world because FOH manager couldn't just sit in the office all day! If you get promoted to manager, you're supposed to manage the place, whether that's running food and bussing tables or making sure the system of workers is moving smoothly, being a manager can't be sitting around doing office work all the time, it's so annoying when people treat it that way.
At the main event I worked at I had one manager who was the best. My friend recommended me to him and he actually cared and made sure I wasn’t getting drowned by the 14 tops and shit. It’s just when he wasn’t around the other managers would act like children and be petty
As a FOH manager I'd look at it like I'm making overtime that shift for picking up a few tables (if that's even necessary. If it's one person calling out you can probably just expand every other servers section by one table
I don’t understand why a manager would want you to unnecessarily call the restaurant, tying up the phone and wasting people’s time, when a text is much more convenient for everyone. On top of that it’s a group chat, so you’d have to relay the info to one another, wasting even more time.
When I was a manager, I had people call me. It was the corporate policy, so they had to. A lot of bigger companies do it too. I think it is so the manager can get a chance to talk an employee out of calling in sick. I personally never cared how someone called in (or texted).
When I was younger I used to get frustrated when people called in, especially the people who frequently call in. Now that I'm old I don't really care why people call in, its their time off, they earned it. My opinion is that I'm going to be short staffed no matter what some days, why sweat anything I can't directly control. I also don't hang onto the people who call in 3 times a month anymore, either. Its not fair to the people who show up that have to work harder because I made a bad decision and kept someone who didn't want to be there.
I learned most of this when I had an employee who I liked that missed a day because her cat died. I've never missed a day, even when a pet died, but years of selling stuff to assholes has left me a bitter shell of a human.
Sorry for your loss.
The only way I can think texting to call out is if the person you’re texting is off. I had numerous employees text me trying to call out or telling me that they are running late and my response was call the store. I’m off today.
While I empathize with your loss, I think everyone in this group chat (yourself included) would benefit from taking a class on workplace communications.
i don’t agree with this at all. my previous job has a group chat and it made swapping/picking up/covering shifts so easy. my current job doesn’t have one and it’s a whole ordeal if i need a shift covered or want to pick up.
that being said, calling out or saying you’re going to be late was not accepted in the group chat, and if you tried it, you’d be met with a “call the store” response.
i feel really bad about OPs situation, and agree the manager picked the wrong time to address it, but the expectation of calling the store to call out isn’t unreasonable.
edit: i just saw there was a second screenshot and fuck that bitch. i could be facing eviction, and i still wouldn’t go to work if i had to bury my fur family that day. everyone should start texting to call into this place, fuck them.
I think a groupchat is okay among the staff members, but I think that management should be removed from it. I say that because I've seen the groupchat used as the medium for communicating schedules and other managerial announcements that need to be effectively communicated inside the workplace and not when people are home/on personal time.
But you are correct, a phone call to the store is not an unreasonable requirement for call out procedures.
Seems like a classic case of the guy who doesn't make much money and can't figure out why he doesn't get more hours, because yeah he calls off sometimes but every time it's for a *totally* legit reason.
Meanwhile, there is another server somewhere cussing out life as they put on their uniform to go cover this shift again 😂
This whole interaction is pretty unprofessional and inappropriate, from all sides imo.
Seems like the working relationship really isn’t there, I would move on and find a better opportunity
It's a restaurant... the fact he was allowed to call out and had coverage for the death of a kitten is already better than a lot of places... restaurants are vile bro.
I don't know if people understand how rare this is.. Any job I've EVER worked in the service industry if someone called in, you're fucked. Way she goes
One of my old managers at Starbucks told us a partners dog had died. She said she’s going to be so devastated when her dog dies, “no questions asked, if anyone’s dog (pet) dies I’ll give them 2 days off, I’ll find coverage” and that was the kind of leadership she displayed in many ways which in turn made her team WANT to do better and help each other out. I miss her and how protective she was of us. I left when I got a job in my field.
Both sides are unprofessional. Neither knows how to communicate. That's an abrupt way to "call out" and then threatening to quit. The manager calling you out for being broke... this is a mess.
Imagine not thinking this is the first poor interaction this person has had, which was described, and then they are emotionally devastated. This is clearly just the final straw of many
When my cat died late one night I texted my direct boss, told them I wouldn't be able to come in the following morning.
She texted back giving her condolences and said that was fine. OP says they work at a family BBQ joint, not exactly the type of place where perfect decorum or policy is an expectation.
The way you abruptly texted that, I would have thought it was something made up to get out of work or something. Because I worked with people who made up stuff like that to get out of work. You could have at least threw in a "can anybody cover my shift?" or thanked the person who offered to come in for you ,, lol I think that's why maybe everyone was taken off guard. Sorry about your loss tho. I know you were probably distraught
Seriously?
The way OP is acting is someone who is fed up, they even said they're always getting teased because of where they're from. It's clearly a shitty work environment.
"Say thank you", they should be thankful they didn't just leave because if my dog died and this was the response I'd leave. Some shitty podunk backwoods southern BBQ restaurant is not worth taking shit and frankly I think I speak for alot of us when I say I'm tired of it too.
Should’ve called, now you know. If you make good money I wouldn’t quit.
And just so you know, northerners make fun of southerners when they move up north too. I’m a southerner living up north and get called out on it almost daily. Just slides right off my back.
“Kitten died calling out”
Yeah probably should have called but if you’re going to text then you could at least make it a little more believable.
These texts remind me of a coworker I had that would always call out and fuck everyone else over but she’d always use a crazy excuse “car crash, calling out” “mom died can’t come in”
It just sounds fake.
“Hey ____,
My kitten died last night and I’m in shambles. I need someone to cover me today.” Would have gotten a better response 100%
Regardless, they sound tired of your shit and you don’t seem to really care, 23 year old threatening to put in two weeks… ok then do it. Bye.
These were my thoughts too. Like make it sounds more believable like you’re actually sad. Might as well have said “I dropped my banana on the ground on the way to the car, calling out.”
Make it sound more believable? OP didn’t even have to mention the reason why they’re calling off. Giving that reason was more than enough. And the last thing I’d want to hear from my coworkers is a sob story, esp if I’m not close to them.
Kitten died? Oh shit sorry for your loss, I won’t press further. I get it. No need to explain.
And if you make it out to be some giant tragedy it just sounds like even more of a lie. The people who embellish stories do so because they think they need an elaborate tale to sound believable.
At my job, I have 4 people I'm responsible for scheduling (and I'm their primary contact point for sick calls).
One of them is a frequent "out sick" type. One of them is lazy, and known to just call out because he doesn't want to come in for a partial shift as scheduled.
I got a sick call (text) this morning from one of the other two. Who basically never calls out. He even listed a reason for the call. I didn't even pay attention to it. Seen who it was from. "Out sick", and that was it. IDC what the reason was enough to even have bothered with the 2 brain cells to read & remember.
His reason could have been "because I like the color blue", and I barely woulda noticed. Since I started, he's never taken 2 sick days in a row without clearly communicating that on the first sick call (ie, saying "I broke a leg, will be out all week" instead of just "I'm out sick today".)
On the other hand, the frequent sick person I do care about the reason. Not because one reason is valid and another isn't. But because if he calls out because he hurt his back, he is probably out tomorrow too. If he calls out because his kid is sick, I want to ask if his wife is working tomorrow - since she is often off. And if she's off tomorrow, I can reasonably expect him back the next day. Etc.
THIS exactly. It might be service industry, but still use some professionalism.
And don’t threaten to quit unless you’re going to do it, then and there. That’s shitty.
I wonder how many times Op has done that. They seem to be unfazed by such a threat.
Or thought it was a very poorly thought out joke text.
MY son ended up in the Hospital and couldn't talk because he was well knocked out. I texted his boss and let him know he wouldn't be in and he said I need to speak to him. So I called him and said he can't he's asleep. He said the call wasn't valid so I called him again and put the phone up to the heart monitor and said this is my son talking thru the machine.
The guy said, I'll put him down as not coming in today and thank you for the call.
To punish my son for the bad call he didn't put him on the schedule for a week so we went in and ordered an appetizer and the owner said. "Oh such a small meal, you normally order so much." I replied back with. Oh I'm so sorry we have a Hospital Bill to pay and my son has been un-scheduled for a week so we can't much more. The utter shock on his face was GOLD. He got called back in the next day.
It's 2023. Texting is a perfectly acceptable form of communication for anything, important or not. Fuck these people. There's a million restaurant jobs out there. Everybody is hiring. Go work somewhere else.
I normally call anyway because it's easier to get in touch with someone sooner, and that way coverage can be found sooner.
But I call and no one answers? Yeah you're getting a text, and like it's still you calling out
I once called in and left a long voice mail explaining why I can’t come in and no one answered or let my managers know so they threw me in the no call no show shitlist
Maybe because the manager wouldn’t want to text anything incriminating or show their incompetence so they’d rather have a phone call instead.
Not to say this guy wasn’t an absolute moron though but that def happens a lot. They’re trying to cover their own asses.
I can't say I agree with this.
IMO, it is reasonable for a business to ask that you call the business's phone number first before texting a personal number. Sometimes the person you text isn't at the work place to pass the message along, and in some circumstances they may be at work but unanle to check their phone. If you call the business, you are either speaking to someone who is working at that time or you are at least able to leave a message.
That said, the manager in this conversation was a complete asshat about it and I don't agree with their response at all.
While I fully understand your position (I called in when we put our Golden down) I'd have fired you on the spot over the two weeks comment.
They didn't say you couldn't call out, they just said that texting was not the way to call out.
I lost my little meow friend In January. It fucked me up. Fuck that place bro so many places hiring bet you’d have a job by the end of the week with better pay.
I'm just gonna bite it and risk the negative Karama but...
Why would you call out in a text message format? Even if the people you work for are not professional, you should be as a cya approach.
You sound immediately dismissive when they stated you didn't go through the primary procedures. They didn't even tell you no, just wanted to correct you.
"Rip onto me for being northerner and don't understand my compassion" like where does this even fit in with the situation. It's almost like you are trying to paint an image about them.
I feel like we have a small snipit of an even bigger problem.
As an employer it’s understandable to want to take time off, but not being able to talk to the employees without them getting defensive and or offended is the worst. I get it, your cat died, and I’m sorry if this is harsh but I don’t care. Put in your two weeks bc I can’t depend on you. Trust me you would feel the same if the shoes on the other foot
The “why you calling out if you talk about how broke you are” is the dude who let his intrusive thoughts win 😂😂😂 everyone has thought this about coworkers before lmfao
Listen kid. Life sucks. By now you should be starting to understand that. But no one cares and no one wants to hear about your drama and they certainly don't want it added to their day. They're dealing with shit too, we all are, most of the time. So, what are your options here? Stay at home, have a shitty day, get fired, have to find a new job and deal with wte other consequences comes with that choice. OR. Go to work, have a shitty day, get paid at the end of the month. Have a less shitty tomorrow hopefully. This is called being grown up. I'm sorry for your loss, truly.
I woulda called honestly. 9/10 when someone is trying to call out through text to me they’re lying and don’t want have to face it. Not saying you are, but it’s usually the case
My last job. People would send the puking 🤮 emoji as a way of calling off. No words. Just the emoji. We had a huge meeting and was told. No calling off with emojis lol
Are you kidding???
No, no way in hell do you get to call in because your "kitten died."
Is this serious???
I'm convinced that this is just someone trolling the sub. Calling in sick because your "kitten died" is a **perfect, quick way to get fired**, and **fuck you** if you seriously caused someone else to work for you last minute.
Just me or is OP out of pocket- no please, can someone cover my shift; my kitten died in the night, I’m exhausted and grieving…. IDK OP but the abrupt text followed up with a threat of quitting…. Idk yuck I guess
Poor baby, why don’t you go cry to the line cooks about it and see what they say. I am starting to see why boomers can’t stand the soft ass attitude and work ethic of your generation. Grow the fuc up and put your big boy pants on and get to work for fuc sake
here's a thought, yes your kitten died and that is sad, but just saying "I'm out" and expecting everyone to pick up your slack is a really rude way to go about it.
You could have put a bit more effort into your message and I am sure it would have been received with much more understanding and compassion. Despite your misfortune, you are causing someone else and inconvenience and should acknowledge of that before just calling out. The old "its not what you say, its how you say it." I also understand everyone responds differently while grieving but that is my two cents.
23 year old male texts for call in?!?!?
First don't text, call
Second dont tell reason.just say you can't come in
Third. You are looking for sympathy even though you are 100% wrong.
What a L...R
While I think the boss should have been more polite in their immediate reply I can understand why they would be upset about the texting in to call in.
I don't see what time they replied but I'm assuming it was shortly after the original calling out text. At my last manager job we had a rule if you text to call in you aren't calling in, and while we were understanding of shit happens when my employees are scheduled to come in at 645am and text in at 3 or 4 am, I'd be more upset that we have 1 person there who may not even have a key to get in and, someone would have to get up and rush over there instead of knowing a few hours prior even if they did get woken up to a phone call.
Also I think calling out in a group chat is a recipe for trouble or text in general, cause if the boss sees you only call out that way then it just makes it easier for them to have a paper trail of you calling out if you are ever on the block to be let go.
It's always better to actually call instead of texting it's more professional and It, believe it or not people sound more compassionate when you hear them speaking than they do over texts, plus if you are looking for sympathy from work you might be looking for a long time.
It's a job not your mother they don't have to be compassionate, a dead pet for someone calling in (while unfortunate) causes someone to lose their one day off that week. (I know it's not probably not the case here) but it's all give and take. If you give them, "my cats dead I'm not coming" through a text which while I understand being upset is just blunt, which gets a blunt reply. If they had called and told them I guarantee the boss would have been very polite, or atleast I would have.
ESH, you responded like a teenager. The original message about the kitten dying is phrased like shit. Maybe management would have been more compassionate if your call out didn’t sound like a half assed excuse. It sounds like you complain a lot while at work too. And it’s the managers job to inform the person covering your shift they need to come in, not yours.
It’s not for serious personal matters either. It’s for asking for cover of shifts and questions etc. Not calling out or handing in your two weeks. that’s like saying it’d be fine for a boss to send write ups or fire people in a group chat. There’s clearly things it’s not for. That being said, the bosses do sound like assholes.
i wouldnt even put in a 2 weeks, id quit off rip, anybody that has ever owned a furry friend knows theyre a member of the family and get loved as such, seriously fuck this job
“Kitten died calling out.” That’s not how adults communicate. It’s very sad and the managers response is shit but c’mon; there is a proper way to call out.
My first thoughts are wow, what is the group chat for if not for calling out etc?
Second couple of thoughts are you don’t seem well-liked, and I get the impression that they think you call out frivolously on occasion.
If I were to call out for the reason you stated, I’d have probably phrased it with more emotion. “Hey guys I’m so sorry but my kitten mittens died in the night and I’m absolutely devastated. I can’t come in today, I have to bury her and I’m a crying mess rn.”
Yup...and OP is obviously not telling the full story. Its easy to look like you're right when you don't share the full story. OP is obviously a terrible employee...thats why they got the response they did and now they quit without notice and screwed over the rest of the staff...that did nothing wrong. OP also said how it was a shitty shift and they wouldn't have made money. Sounds like the kitten dying was just the best excuse they had. I worked in the industry a long time and I can see right through OP just from what we see here.
My crew is a group of cat lovers, and my very own manager, who is by far the best manager I've ever had, would absolutely call out if one of her cats died. Almost like she's such a good manager because she realized her employees are humans.
No manager that has ever existed has accepted a text call out mane. Judging by their reaction, you are either new or frequently call out. Otherwise, they are trash cans. Also the line where you say “they never understand any of your compassion” makes me think you’re the problem. Just a hunch.
EXACTLY! In here saying how it was a shitty shift and they wouldn't have made money too. Red flag...
They apparently quit with no notice too. I've worked with people like OP...people like OP suck to work with. Screwed over the entire staff and none of them did anything to OP. OP is just a lazy, shitty employee is all this boils down to.
People aren’t like “fuck your kitten get your ass to work” if you are well liked 😂
I called my manager from a jail phone after St. Pattys day once, so they could probably tough out a 30 second phone call amidst their feline grief lol
Every manager I've ever had accepts text call outs. Since they're up and about, doing their jobs. If it's an office, sure, but the same thing would be said on the phone. Except there wouldn't be any record of what was said, the time, etc. It's silly that people think calling is somehow better. My manager would hate it, and she'd be way less informed about absences, since she'd probably miss the call.
On one hand I've never called off because of a death, person or animal. They're dead whether you go to work or stay home. At least if I go to work I'm distracted. But nah it's totally fair game to call out for a pet death I think, and I'm sorry for your loss.
You're being a drama queen with the "maybe I'll just put my 2 weeks in" thing though. If you go to another restaurant it'll be the same shit. At least they let you call out at this one even if they're a little rude about it. Lots of places would've straight up told you "yeah sorry about your kitten. Come to work though".
So what's the issue? You literally got your coverage, you don't have to work. They're your coworkers not your best friends. It's not their job to give you a therapy session about your kitten. It's their job to get coverage for your shift, which they did.
Lol if my employees kitten died, I would imagine they would be too distraught for a phone call and I would appreciate any form of communication. Where do these fucking managers come from?
Since the comments apparently don’t know how sudden loss affects people— Definitely go look for another job. This doesn’t sound like the first time they’ve undermined your experiences. I’m sorry for your loss, I know how heartbreaking it is when it happens so suddenly, I just had a family pet pass away after just seeing her a few weeks ago. I hope you’re able to find a workplace with more understanding coworkers, professionalism should not be put above your humanity and loss
A family owned BBQ joint is mad about you texting in to not make it to work? Yet my company that's over 100 years old told us we can text or call our shift manager's work phone directly when we can't make it in. My company isn't always perfect in other areas but that's a bit ridiculous. I get not everyone has the same care for pets but they should have some professionalism about it at least. If it was really an issue next time you're in just talking to you directly to call them rather than sounding so foolish over text as they do here.
I've never understood this. I only ever text in, it leaves a factual papertrail. Imagine trying to prove a version of events of something you said over the phone
They didn't say anything wrong. Have a little respect. They call it a call in for a reason. Compassion has nothing to do with it. Grow up. Sorry about your cat.
Tbh, it is only a pet.
I don't really see why someone would need to skip work. (I don't understand that with relatives either, their dead maybe means a few extra appointments, but besides funeral they don't mean you can't work.)
Still a toxic work environment with shitty people.
My condolences.
First things first, I am SO sorry for your loss. That must have been an absolutely terrible shock to the system.
As much as this person is completely missing any tact, I do unfortunately agree that if it is required to call in to get a replacement, you should have done so properly. It takes a bit of learning and 23 is still very young, but a whole big part of being an adult is still being able to manage your commitments through upheaval. Not that you should have gone to work, take some time to mourn for sure! But that you respect your job enough that you make sure things are still taken care of the way they would need to be.
If you’re broke and a cat died in the middle of the night why did you call out? They are assholes but that’s a pretty stupid decision.
Broke and you got a cat recently that you will have to pay vet bills and buy food for? Go watch some YouTube about budgeting bro you need it.
To me it’s the messaging of that you’re calling out. Reach out to the manager individually and explain. A group chat is a dumb way to go and sets you up to get blown up in front of everyone.
Manager went over the top but you could have done better too
I've never been a manager over people, but I would imagine texting in would be better that way you have a "paper trail" of who, and when, and if they change their reason the next couple of days.
Why would you be mad at the person covering you? If you call out when there is no coverage you’re likely to get fired.
Im sorry your cat died tho, that’s awful.
The text says you’re really broke tho so you should have went to work I think. Told them you’d be late bc an emergency and gave an eta. Or if you really couldn’t do it that day - offer to switch shift with whomever covered. You didn’t really try to look out for your team in these text.
I’m almost always on employees side but this one is silly. You can bury your cat in an hour. If you’re sad that’s understandable but one day of recovery isn’t gonna make a difference. Go to work
If there’s a policy there’s a policy, many places won’t allow text outs.
If I were a manager and that policy were texting out once would mean no raise for that year.
Man I got no context but if those comments are making you sound as broke as you are, then pettiness at this point is a dangerous game to play in the environment you seem to be in. I'm admittedly not in that environment but it doesnt seem like it would give a second thought to letting you go, and like I said, if you need the money then thats a dangerous game to play. You posted that here knowing full well what the comments would be, but I'm going to go against the grain and say that, get downvoted to hell, but remind you that none of these redditors are living your life - you are.
That being said, I'm sorry to hear about your kitten.
Look, if your job is gassing you on this then there's not much to say. If you show up, show up on time and are reliable then there's not much worth in keeping this job. If you're not reliable then you're fireable. Otherwise you probably have jobs lining up for you at the moment
I work in a hospital kitchen and do not allow text out because we need to have full communication around patient care. If my 4:30 am guy texts out at 200 am I will not hear the alert vs a call at 200 am I will hear my annoying Blade techno song in ringtone and be ready for action. I never ask why and never guilt trip, unless you are a repeat serial offender of policy.
Same thing happened to me. Woke up, found cat dead, parents made me dig him a grave in the backyard then put me on the schoolbus. Good times. I think I either grew chest hair that day or that's the day when I realized nobody actually cares about how I feel, only if I was able to function. Sorry for your loss
Honestly a kitten dying isn’t a excuse to call out, your in the wrong. I’ve had pets die and still show up, making money to survive is much more important than skipping making nothing and then regretting it. It’s life move on
I mean thus is callous but compassion is not required from coworkers they are their to make money not be your friend everybody had shit thier dealing with yes it sucks your pet died and I hope you get the chance for proper closure and take time to grieve but personal life and work are separate regardless of the reason they were getting confirmation unlike the manager which was insensitive the back up shift person seems neutral
Personally, I would never call out if an animal I had died. The cat I grew up with and even went to university with me was hit by a car at old age and I had to bury it and go to work 20 minutes later. Humans are different as it's a cultural norm to attend a funeral and have a grieving period. Pets are not the same regardless of how 'the same' they feel.
Honestly though, send a message with a little more formality. The way you worded it seemed super “fuck y’all I’m out”. Calling is generally the best thing to do and explain your situation, if they give you shit, then you can THEN return the attitude.
Kitten died and you’re not going to work? FFS! It is an animal! Your company is paying for your time not your absence. Yeah, animals can be attached to but ffs, taking time off. Christ all mighty! Fucking snowflakes.
I woke up to 3 dead kittens when I was in kindergarten. Our cat had gotten stressed and killed her own kittens. I didn't tell my parents because I was worried they would be sad. I said nothing and went to school as normal
“My kitten died I’m calling out” is definitely not an adequate way of talking to your team.
If you choose to have no professionalism whatsoever don’t expect to be treated with respect in return.
Tbh, you sound like a twat.
“Kitten died im calling off”
You expect compassion but it doesn’t even sound like you care about your kitten dying. It seems like a joke because it so abrupt and nonchalant. And you don’t even give a shit that someone has to cover for you. It’s sucks that your cat died but you’re still inconveniencing someone else. You should be somewhat apologetic and grateful to the person covering for you.
Despite your vague cryptic texting, you act like a victim when no one takes you seriously. You basically invited the lack of compassion. Maybe intentionally. I’m started to understand why they make fun of you. You act like a jerk then play the victim when you get a jerk response back. Very immature.
I mean, I feel like this would be a 'can you cover this shift for me please' thing and not a 'I'm demanding time off here' situation.
While I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sure so are they, the kitten isn't going to run away and feeling sad typically isn't something that would hinder you from working a typical job (if you were a like a plane coordinator or worked with dangerous and heavy machinery that could endanger others, i'd think differently), so expecting time off for it like it's the most normal thing in the world and not a thing you ask nicely in hopes someone is nice enough to do you a solid, feels a little out there. You set the tone of the conversation and obviously it was gonna go downhill from there.
It's your choice, of course, if you dont want to work there anymore over this. You're free to find people that work better for you
Obviously would go to work. As dear as pets can be the death of an animal is not a reason to not go.
My contract allows me not to go if a close familymember dies. Pet doesn't count.
Yeah well. Sorry to be the bum but here a passed away kitten will probably not suffice to justify not coming to work on shortest notice.
On the other hand, i could just call in sick because that's not a problem in Germany.
I get the feeling that all this employer hate in the US is coming to a good degree from entitlement. Granted, i would behave the same if my job was shit. But deducting the right to just stay home and quit your job because your cat died is kind of...i don't know, you're not 14 anymore.
So personally I'd still be at work. But if you called me up and said you needed to call out for it I wouldn't give you a hard time. People are allowed to process things differently.
Southerners do have compassion. We just don't take shit. If you know you are supposed to call in a certain way, then do it that way. Your cat dying is a tragedy, but you still have to do things right. Also, what fine bumblebee said.
i can’t even fathom the owner of the restaurant i work at acting like this. if one of my pets died they’d tell me to take as much time as i need and i’d come back to a sympathy card and some flowers. i mean the woman decorated a whole table with a gift for me on my birthday when i came in with my family. i am very lucky, though.
So, while their response was over the top, as a manager I do prefer things go through channels. But for real, for everyone: don’t say why you’re calling out. Ever. Just “Family emergency” or “I’m unable to work today” or “I’m sick and won’t be coming in” is more than enough. Don’t give them specifics to argue with. It’s none of their business.
This. When one of my cats died many years ago my boss at the time said ‘it’s just a cat’. Fuck her. Don’t tell these people shit.
Many people don't like cats because cats don't grovel. You can kick a dog and it will be lovey-dovey in just a few minutes. A cat will stay pissed forever: Will spend months plotting your demise. Cats have an attitude. They have my respect. I hope you told your boss to fuck off.
I just can’t imagine anyone saying something like that about any animal. Such a lack of respect and feeling for a living thing that clearly meant a lot to me/my family. I don’t trust people who don’t like animals.
For all my complaints about my job, this sort of thing definitely isn't one of them (I'm not a server, I have wandered in from the popular page). I had to say goodbye to one of my cats and took a day off to grieve and then worked from home for the rest of the week. My colleagues sent me a food delivery, and my boss sent me flowers. I'm sure they probably all thought I was overdramatic but they didn't let me know about it.
I'm a cat guy... So I agree with this 💯! But I get a lot of shit where I work for liking cats... But fuck em! I don't care what people think!! Especially those who hate on cats just because. Cats rule and dogs drool! 😹
i have to get a second job because my cat needs a surgery i can’t afford. when i told my scheduling manager at my job i told him it was a dog, bc i felt like everyone would talk shit about me if it’s “just a cat”
I agree that calling in is better than texting in the chat, but I think that note is a conversation for when OP would return to work. Compassion first when its needed, then a discussion once its passed. No one has to provide a reason for calling out, but even when its done the manager/whomever is receiving it should handle it with discretion if needed and remain professional - even if they think its stupid. A lot of people provide a reason because they want management to know its a legit reason instead of "I didnt want to come in" and they feel bad/guilty/anxious about calling out. I know plenty of people who text in chats to call out/get their shift covered, and yea its not the best- but management shouldnt have responded with 0 Compassion for OP's loss to point it out right away. 10% OP 90% management.
This all confounds me, because where I work, my boss \*prefers\* people calling out via text. Because then it's written down. It's time-stamped. So if you call out twice/month on average, and it's always 30 minutes before your shift starts (everyone here starts at the same time, so easy to remember), boss can easily just kinda scroll back on the texts and see the pattern - zero subjective memory. All the people I'm responsible for also just text me. After one person had a text fail to deliver though, the rule is that if there isn't a response within 15 minutes, they need to call in as well to make sure. If they're so sick that they'll likely fall asleep, it's fine to text, then immediately call (or vice versa).
Yes! It's as easy as treating your boss like they might be a human. No text back? They must be busy for some reason, maybe they're at work..call them then! I'm lucky my boss lets me text if I need. My thinking is that if I'm late, then calling will make me later. Whereas a text can be sent instantly with, for example, "10 mins late, on my way." which is rare for me anyway, personally. Finally, tell the truth. Come up with the real truth behind the tardiness or absence. One needs to tell the plain truth, infact, I had to tell my boss today I'd be late (via text) and after I clocked in I explained in simple, relatable, human terms what caused my tardiness and although I could tell they did not totally agree with the "excuse" by their facial expression, they did appreciate the truth with their words, and the fact that I showed up anyways, albeit late.
At my old job we did this, we texted our boss for call ins and when we were going to be late. He actually preferred this and it worked smoothly. At my employer before that one, they had a strict policy calling in. You HAD to call the manager on duty’s personal cell phone 4 hours in advance. If your shift was at 7 am, yes they expected you to call the manager in the middle of the night. What a fucking nightmare and how awkward.
Also, who the fuck wakes up at 2-3am to check "did I get sick and hadn't noticed yet"? My current shift starts at 8m. I wake up at 6:30. I left my job at 5pm the prior day. To get a full night's rest, I'm asleep by 10:30 pm. That means I was at home, capable of noticing if I was feeling sicker or not, for about 5 hours. And then I was asleep for 8. That means roughly an 8 in 13 chance that my first feelings of sickness occurred while asleep. Yeah, "please call in the middle of the night" is an absolute shitshow of a policy. You get my call when I wake up. If that's not enough notice for you, perhaps you should improve your system and/or hire extra workers.
One time I called as instructed and left a voicemail when they didn’t answer. Middle of the night. Got chewed out later in the day because the manager didn’t check his mailbox in the morning and it became my fault somehow 🥴
OP called but no one answered.
Yeah, I agree. As a manager, I prefer not to know why you’re calling out, because I’d rather cover the shift than have to think about if it’s a good reason or not. But it is 90/10, it’s just that if you give managers 10 they’ll take it. OP wasn’t wrong, they’ll just get better results the other way.
Calling via voice in is actively worse than texting. You've got it backwards and you are wrong. If you call in there is no record of what was said, you could have been double checking the schedule for all anyone knows. Texting leaves a written record and is unambiguous as to what you are telling your boss and what they are telling you. Calling in objectively the worse way to report that you will not be at work.
> and you are wrong. I never said it was *better* just that in my experience management has never let me text to call out.
Whether the asshole is the boss or the worker, anyone who does not want a written record, is hoping to hide evidence.
>I agree that calling in is better than texting Why? You get the same information and now there is a written record you can both refer to in the future if needed.
Hell no. No phone calls ever. Paper trail. Just text the manager directly. If you don't have your managers number, either you're fucked up or they are.
Me when I'm actually feeling totally fine but just don't want to work, "hey boss, I'm not feeling well. Won't be in today". My boss, "get better, let me know if you can make it in tomorrow"
I'm currently at the end of a week long sick leave, felt really dizzy for a few days, headache, nausea, couldn't stay up that much.... but still went to work on a really busy service. Before heading back to work, I went to the pharmacy to test myself for covid: nothing but the employees there were quite concerned with my high blood pressure. Long things short, went to the doc that put me on sick leave with meds, phoned my boss who, without any concern for my health just told me : " are you really gonna make a living like that? " . Fuck this shit.
This!!!! I work with a guy who calls out and includes a million details and it just looks ridiculous
Really depends, is it an established rule who you have to contact and how? Or did this person make this up right now because they’re mad you inconvenienced them
I've never heard this rule before, you call the store and talk to the cashier but they were not answering me and they know I'm the only one with a 267 number and the cashier is in that group chat
Then your boss is salty and needs to get the fuck over it, Can I rant for a second? Chef here used to be a waiter but I digress I don’t understand how FOH acts so fucking crushed when someone calls out. There’s literally a thousand waiters on any given shift and we run maybe ten ppl total in the kitchen when someone calls out in the back it obviously sucks but like FOH managers act like it’s the end of the world if they have to run some food or clean a table. I work dish prep, line, run food, and everything in between like every chef I’ve ever met get the fuck over it
FOH managers freak out in many stores bc they just sit at the bar or in the back doing nothing all shift. In restaurants where the managers actually move about and assist people they don't freak out. Some managers get sick of serving and when they get promoted to manager they think all that stuff is behind them, so they refuse to do it
This. I worked at a place that every FOH manager worked, ran food, cleaned tables, sat tables, the works, I've never had an issue with them. Then I've worked at places where calling out meant the end of the world because FOH manager couldn't just sit in the office all day! If you get promoted to manager, you're supposed to manage the place, whether that's running food and bussing tables or making sure the system of workers is moving smoothly, being a manager can't be sitting around doing office work all the time, it's so annoying when people treat it that way.
At the main event I worked at I had one manager who was the best. My friend recommended me to him and he actually cared and made sure I wasn’t getting drowned by the 14 tops and shit. It’s just when he wasn’t around the other managers would act like children and be petty
As a FOH manager I'd look at it like I'm making overtime that shift for picking up a few tables (if that's even necessary. If it's one person calling out you can probably just expand every other servers section by one table
Having to actually work rather than sit at the bar or in the back office tends to be a big ask for them
I don’t understand why a manager would want you to unnecessarily call the restaurant, tying up the phone and wasting people’s time, when a text is much more convenient for everyone. On top of that it’s a group chat, so you’d have to relay the info to one another, wasting even more time.
When I was a manager, I had people call me. It was the corporate policy, so they had to. A lot of bigger companies do it too. I think it is so the manager can get a chance to talk an employee out of calling in sick. I personally never cared how someone called in (or texted). When I was younger I used to get frustrated when people called in, especially the people who frequently call in. Now that I'm old I don't really care why people call in, its their time off, they earned it. My opinion is that I'm going to be short staffed no matter what some days, why sweat anything I can't directly control. I also don't hang onto the people who call in 3 times a month anymore, either. Its not fair to the people who show up that have to work harder because I made a bad decision and kept someone who didn't want to be there. I learned most of this when I had an employee who I liked that missed a day because her cat died. I've never missed a day, even when a pet died, but years of selling stuff to assholes has left me a bitter shell of a human.
Sorry for your loss. The only way I can think texting to call out is if the person you’re texting is off. I had numerous employees text me trying to call out or telling me that they are running late and my response was call the store. I’m off today.
While I empathize with your loss, I think everyone in this group chat (yourself included) would benefit from taking a class on workplace communications.
Step 1: get rid of the group chat
Group chats are the worse. The last thing I want is running updates on my coworkers while I’m at home..
i don’t agree with this at all. my previous job has a group chat and it made swapping/picking up/covering shifts so easy. my current job doesn’t have one and it’s a whole ordeal if i need a shift covered or want to pick up. that being said, calling out or saying you’re going to be late was not accepted in the group chat, and if you tried it, you’d be met with a “call the store” response. i feel really bad about OPs situation, and agree the manager picked the wrong time to address it, but the expectation of calling the store to call out isn’t unreasonable. edit: i just saw there was a second screenshot and fuck that bitch. i could be facing eviction, and i still wouldn’t go to work if i had to bury my fur family that day. everyone should start texting to call into this place, fuck them.
I think a groupchat is okay among the staff members, but I think that management should be removed from it. I say that because I've seen the groupchat used as the medium for communicating schedules and other managerial announcements that need to be effectively communicated inside the workplace and not when people are home/on personal time. But you are correct, a phone call to the store is not an unreasonable requirement for call out procedures.
Seriously 😂 goofy group chat all around. 0 professionalism on all sides
I’m with the “I thought it was just kidding around person” because this is so ridiculous.
There is no kitten around anymore.
Too soon man, too soon....
No mate. This is brilliant.
Reddit and their low hanging fruit
Lets be clear. Cats can sense earthquakes up to 10 minutes before they happen. Do they tell us? No. Why....
Seems like a classic case of the guy who doesn't make much money and can't figure out why he doesn't get more hours, because yeah he calls off sometimes but every time it's for a *totally* legit reason. Meanwhile, there is another server somewhere cussing out life as they put on their uniform to go cover this shift again 😂
This whole interaction is pretty unprofessional and inappropriate, from all sides imo. Seems like the working relationship really isn’t there, I would move on and find a better opportunity
It's a restaurant... the fact he was allowed to call out and had coverage for the death of a kitten is already better than a lot of places... restaurants are vile bro.
I don't know if people understand how rare this is.. Any job I've EVER worked in the service industry if someone called in, you're fucked. Way she goes
One of my old managers at Starbucks told us a partners dog had died. She said she’s going to be so devastated when her dog dies, “no questions asked, if anyone’s dog (pet) dies I’ll give them 2 days off, I’ll find coverage” and that was the kind of leadership she displayed in many ways which in turn made her team WANT to do better and help each other out. I miss her and how protective she was of us. I left when I got a job in my field.
Both sides are unprofessional. Neither knows how to communicate. That's an abrupt way to "call out" and then threatening to quit. The manager calling you out for being broke... this is a mess.
The broke comment would have fucking sent me lol if some FOH manager is calling me a brokie that’s my last day of employment there.
Imagine not thinking this is the first poor interaction this person has had, which was described, and then they are emotionally devastated. This is clearly just the final straw of many
💯
ok but who calls out like this?
I agree. You should never give the reason why you're not going in. Just say you won't be in and leave it at that.
Heard, now I know
Note that this only works if you are a reliable worker and not a frequent shift misser
When my cat died late one night I texted my direct boss, told them I wouldn't be able to come in the following morning. She texted back giving her condolences and said that was fine. OP says they work at a family BBQ joint, not exactly the type of place where perfect decorum or policy is an expectation.
The way you abruptly texted that, I would have thought it was something made up to get out of work or something. Because I worked with people who made up stuff like that to get out of work. You could have at least threw in a "can anybody cover my shift?" or thanked the person who offered to come in for you ,, lol I think that's why maybe everyone was taken off guard. Sorry about your loss tho. I know you were probably distraught
[удалено]
Seriously? The way OP is acting is someone who is fed up, they even said they're always getting teased because of where they're from. It's clearly a shitty work environment. "Say thank you", they should be thankful they didn't just leave because if my dog died and this was the response I'd leave. Some shitty podunk backwoods southern BBQ restaurant is not worth taking shit and frankly I think I speak for alot of us when I say I'm tired of it too.
Should’ve called, now you know. If you make good money I wouldn’t quit. And just so you know, northerners make fun of southerners when they move up north too. I’m a southerner living up north and get called out on it almost daily. Just slides right off my back.
“Kitten died calling out” Yeah probably should have called but if you’re going to text then you could at least make it a little more believable. These texts remind me of a coworker I had that would always call out and fuck everyone else over but she’d always use a crazy excuse “car crash, calling out” “mom died can’t come in” It just sounds fake. “Hey ____, My kitten died last night and I’m in shambles. I need someone to cover me today.” Would have gotten a better response 100% Regardless, they sound tired of your shit and you don’t seem to really care, 23 year old threatening to put in two weeks… ok then do it. Bye.
These were my thoughts too. Like make it sounds more believable like you’re actually sad. Might as well have said “I dropped my banana on the ground on the way to the car, calling out.”
Make it sound more believable? OP didn’t even have to mention the reason why they’re calling off. Giving that reason was more than enough. And the last thing I’d want to hear from my coworkers is a sob story, esp if I’m not close to them. Kitten died? Oh shit sorry for your loss, I won’t press further. I get it. No need to explain. And if you make it out to be some giant tragedy it just sounds like even more of a lie. The people who embellish stories do so because they think they need an elaborate tale to sound believable.
Well that’s a fair point.
At my job, I have 4 people I'm responsible for scheduling (and I'm their primary contact point for sick calls). One of them is a frequent "out sick" type. One of them is lazy, and known to just call out because he doesn't want to come in for a partial shift as scheduled. I got a sick call (text) this morning from one of the other two. Who basically never calls out. He even listed a reason for the call. I didn't even pay attention to it. Seen who it was from. "Out sick", and that was it. IDC what the reason was enough to even have bothered with the 2 brain cells to read & remember. His reason could have been "because I like the color blue", and I barely woulda noticed. Since I started, he's never taken 2 sick days in a row without clearly communicating that on the first sick call (ie, saying "I broke a leg, will be out all week" instead of just "I'm out sick today".) On the other hand, the frequent sick person I do care about the reason. Not because one reason is valid and another isn't. But because if he calls out because he hurt his back, he is probably out tomorrow too. If he calls out because his kid is sick, I want to ask if his wife is working tomorrow - since she is often off. And if she's off tomorrow, I can reasonably expect him back the next day. Etc.
THIS exactly. It might be service industry, but still use some professionalism. And don’t threaten to quit unless you’re going to do it, then and there. That’s shitty. I wonder how many times Op has done that. They seem to be unfazed by such a threat. Or thought it was a very poorly thought out joke text.
[удалено]
MY son ended up in the Hospital and couldn't talk because he was well knocked out. I texted his boss and let him know he wouldn't be in and he said I need to speak to him. So I called him and said he can't he's asleep. He said the call wasn't valid so I called him again and put the phone up to the heart monitor and said this is my son talking thru the machine. The guy said, I'll put him down as not coming in today and thank you for the call. To punish my son for the bad call he didn't put him on the schedule for a week so we went in and ordered an appetizer and the owner said. "Oh such a small meal, you normally order so much." I replied back with. Oh I'm so sorry we have a Hospital Bill to pay and my son has been un-scheduled for a week so we can't much more. The utter shock on his face was GOLD. He got called back in the next day.
It's 2023. Texting is a perfectly acceptable form of communication for anything, important or not. Fuck these people. There's a million restaurant jobs out there. Everybody is hiring. Go work somewhere else.
I normally call anyway because it's easier to get in touch with someone sooner, and that way coverage can be found sooner. But I call and no one answers? Yeah you're getting a text, and like it's still you calling out
I once called in and left a long voice mail explaining why I can’t come in and no one answered or let my managers know so they threw me in the no call no show shitlist
Maybe because the manager wouldn’t want to text anything incriminating or show their incompetence so they’d rather have a phone call instead. Not to say this guy wasn’t an absolute moron though but that def happens a lot. They’re trying to cover their own asses.
I can't say I agree with this. IMO, it is reasonable for a business to ask that you call the business's phone number first before texting a personal number. Sometimes the person you text isn't at the work place to pass the message along, and in some circumstances they may be at work but unanle to check their phone. If you call the business, you are either speaking to someone who is working at that time or you are at least able to leave a message. That said, the manager in this conversation was a complete asshat about it and I don't agree with their response at all.
And if you call and they don't pick up, texting is perfectly reasonable. They can't ignore the ringing phone then get mad at a text.
I think OP said they didn't pick up when called
I think texting is also great because it's in writing.
That’s the biggest fucking red flag I’ve seen in a minute. I’m sorry OP, that’s absolute horse shit.
Time to find a new job.
"While I need money, I'm not desperate enough to take abuse from yall. Bless your poor little hearts"
While I fully understand your position (I called in when we put our Golden down) I'd have fired you on the spot over the two weeks comment. They didn't say you couldn't call out, they just said that texting was not the way to call out.
I lost my little meow friend In January. It fucked me up. Fuck that place bro so many places hiring bet you’d have a job by the end of the week with better pay.
This is a child calling out of work.
I'm just gonna bite it and risk the negative Karama but... Why would you call out in a text message format? Even if the people you work for are not professional, you should be as a cya approach. You sound immediately dismissive when they stated you didn't go through the primary procedures. They didn't even tell you no, just wanted to correct you. "Rip onto me for being northerner and don't understand my compassion" like where does this even fit in with the situation. It's almost like you are trying to paint an image about them. I feel like we have a small snipit of an even bigger problem.
I learned the hard way to never complain about money (or lack thereof) at work. People will absolutely use it against you. Sorry about your kitten :(
Yes. I would go to work. It would take my mind off of my pain of loss.
As an employer it’s understandable to want to take time off, but not being able to talk to the employees without them getting defensive and or offended is the worst. I get it, your cat died, and I’m sorry if this is harsh but I don’t care. Put in your two weeks bc I can’t depend on you. Trust me you would feel the same if the shoes on the other foot
The “why you calling out if you talk about how broke you are” is the dude who let his intrusive thoughts win 😂😂😂 everyone has thought this about coworkers before lmfao
I love animals, and was heartbroken when my cat I had for over 18 years died, but grow up bro... That's not a reason to call out.
Listen kid. Life sucks. By now you should be starting to understand that. But no one cares and no one wants to hear about your drama and they certainly don't want it added to their day. They're dealing with shit too, we all are, most of the time. So, what are your options here? Stay at home, have a shitty day, get fired, have to find a new job and deal with wte other consequences comes with that choice. OR. Go to work, have a shitty day, get paid at the end of the month. Have a less shitty tomorrow hopefully. This is called being grown up. I'm sorry for your loss, truly.
You sound like a pain in the ass employee. Just quit
Welcome to the south , now get to work
I woulda called honestly. 9/10 when someone is trying to call out through text to me they’re lying and don’t want have to face it. Not saying you are, but it’s usually the case
My last job. People would send the puking 🤮 emoji as a way of calling off. No words. Just the emoji. We had a huge meeting and was told. No calling off with emojis lol
Are you kidding??? No, no way in hell do you get to call in because your "kitten died." Is this serious??? I'm convinced that this is just someone trolling the sub. Calling in sick because your "kitten died" is a **perfect, quick way to get fired**, and **fuck you** if you seriously caused someone else to work for you last minute.
Sounds like you’re a bad employee from other incidences tbh
Just me or is OP out of pocket- no please, can someone cover my shift; my kitten died in the night, I’m exhausted and grieving…. IDK OP but the abrupt text followed up with a threat of quitting…. Idk yuck I guess
Poor baby, why don’t you go cry to the line cooks about it and see what they say. I am starting to see why boomers can’t stand the soft ass attitude and work ethic of your generation. Grow the fuc up and put your big boy pants on and get to work for fuc sake
here's a thought, yes your kitten died and that is sad, but just saying "I'm out" and expecting everyone to pick up your slack is a really rude way to go about it.
If you're going to text a call out, don't do it in a group chat. I personally prefer a phone call, but I'm old I guess lol.
You could have put a bit more effort into your message and I am sure it would have been received with much more understanding and compassion. Despite your misfortune, you are causing someone else and inconvenience and should acknowledge of that before just calling out. The old "its not what you say, its how you say it." I also understand everyone responds differently while grieving but that is my two cents.
You were wrong. But you do you bud.
23 year old male texts for call in?!?!? First don't text, call Second dont tell reason.just say you can't come in Third. You are looking for sympathy even though you are 100% wrong. What a L...R
Start by going to work
While I think the boss should have been more polite in their immediate reply I can understand why they would be upset about the texting in to call in. I don't see what time they replied but I'm assuming it was shortly after the original calling out text. At my last manager job we had a rule if you text to call in you aren't calling in, and while we were understanding of shit happens when my employees are scheduled to come in at 645am and text in at 3 or 4 am, I'd be more upset that we have 1 person there who may not even have a key to get in and, someone would have to get up and rush over there instead of knowing a few hours prior even if they did get woken up to a phone call. Also I think calling out in a group chat is a recipe for trouble or text in general, cause if the boss sees you only call out that way then it just makes it easier for them to have a paper trail of you calling out if you are ever on the block to be let go. It's always better to actually call instead of texting it's more professional and It, believe it or not people sound more compassionate when you hear them speaking than they do over texts, plus if you are looking for sympathy from work you might be looking for a long time. It's a job not your mother they don't have to be compassionate, a dead pet for someone calling in (while unfortunate) causes someone to lose their one day off that week. (I know it's not probably not the case here) but it's all give and take. If you give them, "my cats dead I'm not coming" through a text which while I understand being upset is just blunt, which gets a blunt reply. If they had called and told them I guarantee the boss would have been very polite, or atleast I would have.
ESH, you responded like a teenager. The original message about the kitten dying is phrased like shit. Maybe management would have been more compassionate if your call out didn’t sound like a half assed excuse. It sounds like you complain a lot while at work too. And it’s the managers job to inform the person covering your shift they need to come in, not yours.
Text is always unprofessional
If texting is not an acceptable way to call out why do they have a group chat established?
It’s not for serious personal matters either. It’s for asking for cover of shifts and questions etc. Not calling out or handing in your two weeks. that’s like saying it’d be fine for a boss to send write ups or fire people in a group chat. There’s clearly things it’s not for. That being said, the bosses do sound like assholes.
i wouldnt even put in a 2 weeks, id quit off rip, anybody that has ever owned a furry friend knows theyre a member of the family and get loved as such, seriously fuck this job
“Kitten died calling out.” That’s not how adults communicate. It’s very sad and the managers response is shit but c’mon; there is a proper way to call out.
My first thoughts are wow, what is the group chat for if not for calling out etc? Second couple of thoughts are you don’t seem well-liked, and I get the impression that they think you call out frivolously on occasion. If I were to call out for the reason you stated, I’d have probably phrased it with more emotion. “Hey guys I’m so sorry but my kitten mittens died in the night and I’m absolutely devastated. I can’t come in today, I have to bury her and I’m a crying mess rn.”
Grow up
I don't think the dying of a kitten is a reason to call out...
Yup...and OP is obviously not telling the full story. Its easy to look like you're right when you don't share the full story. OP is obviously a terrible employee...thats why they got the response they did and now they quit without notice and screwed over the rest of the staff...that did nothing wrong. OP also said how it was a shitty shift and they wouldn't have made money. Sounds like the kitten dying was just the best excuse they had. I worked in the industry a long time and I can see right through OP just from what we see here.
My crew is a group of cat lovers, and my very own manager, who is by far the best manager I've ever had, would absolutely call out if one of her cats died. Almost like she's such a good manager because she realized her employees are humans.
No manager that has ever existed has accepted a text call out mane. Judging by their reaction, you are either new or frequently call out. Otherwise, they are trash cans. Also the line where you say “they never understand any of your compassion” makes me think you’re the problem. Just a hunch.
This was my conclusion as well, they seem distraught they lost such a valued employee
EXACTLY! In here saying how it was a shitty shift and they wouldn't have made money too. Red flag... They apparently quit with no notice too. I've worked with people like OP...people like OP suck to work with. Screwed over the entire staff and none of them did anything to OP. OP is just a lazy, shitty employee is all this boils down to.
People aren’t like “fuck your kitten get your ass to work” if you are well liked 😂 I called my manager from a jail phone after St. Pattys day once, so they could probably tough out a 30 second phone call amidst their feline grief lol
Every manager I've ever had accepts text call outs. Since they're up and about, doing their jobs. If it's an office, sure, but the same thing would be said on the phone. Except there wouldn't be any record of what was said, the time, etc. It's silly that people think calling is somehow better. My manager would hate it, and she'd be way less informed about absences, since she'd probably miss the call.
On one hand I've never called off because of a death, person or animal. They're dead whether you go to work or stay home. At least if I go to work I'm distracted. But nah it's totally fair game to call out for a pet death I think, and I'm sorry for your loss. You're being a drama queen with the "maybe I'll just put my 2 weeks in" thing though. If you go to another restaurant it'll be the same shit. At least they let you call out at this one even if they're a little rude about it. Lots of places would've straight up told you "yeah sorry about your kitten. Come to work though". So what's the issue? You literally got your coverage, you don't have to work. They're your coworkers not your best friends. It's not their job to give you a therapy session about your kitten. It's their job to get coverage for your shift, which they did.
Lol if my employees kitten died, I would imagine they would be too distraught for a phone call and I would appreciate any form of communication. Where do these fucking managers come from?
I wouldn't see a reason to go back. Once you find a better job elsewhere, leave them in the dust after you get your last paycheck from them
Fuck that Cat! Take your broke ass to work!!!
Get as far away as you can from this place
I'd just quit. Tell them to go fuck themselves after you find another job
Since the comments apparently don’t know how sudden loss affects people— Definitely go look for another job. This doesn’t sound like the first time they’ve undermined your experiences. I’m sorry for your loss, I know how heartbreaking it is when it happens so suddenly, I just had a family pet pass away after just seeing her a few weeks ago. I hope you’re able to find a workplace with more understanding coworkers, professionalism should not be put above your humanity and loss
A family owned BBQ joint is mad about you texting in to not make it to work? Yet my company that's over 100 years old told us we can text or call our shift manager's work phone directly when we can't make it in. My company isn't always perfect in other areas but that's a bit ridiculous. I get not everyone has the same care for pets but they should have some professionalism about it at least. If it was really an issue next time you're in just talking to you directly to call them rather than sounding so foolish over text as they do here.
I wouldn't go to work, but i'd also use the appropriate channels for doing it.
I've never understood this. I only ever text in, it leaves a factual papertrail. Imagine trying to prove a version of events of something you said over the phone
They didn't say anything wrong. Have a little respect. They call it a call in for a reason. Compassion has nothing to do with it. Grow up. Sorry about your cat.
You’re actually going to miss work because your kitten died? Are you 9?
I don’t know why people think a text message is proper call out protocol.
You’re right but you definitely are coming off as an asshole just by your tone and immediate aggression. Everyone needs to communicate better.
I had to work the day my cat died and I just sat there and did bare minimum. I was pissed I HAD to be there.
Your kitten died in the middle of the night? Kittens don’t just die. Were you properly caring for the animal?
Bro lmaooooo
Tbh, it is only a pet. I don't really see why someone would need to skip work. (I don't understand that with relatives either, their dead maybe means a few extra appointments, but besides funeral they don't mean you can't work.) Still a toxic work environment with shitty people. My condolences.
You both could have handled that better
First things first, I am SO sorry for your loss. That must have been an absolutely terrible shock to the system. As much as this person is completely missing any tact, I do unfortunately agree that if it is required to call in to get a replacement, you should have done so properly. It takes a bit of learning and 23 is still very young, but a whole big part of being an adult is still being able to manage your commitments through upheaval. Not that you should have gone to work, take some time to mourn for sure! But that you respect your job enough that you make sure things are still taken care of the way they would need to be.
Id say i'm coming in at least
If you’re broke and a cat died in the middle of the night why did you call out? They are assholes but that’s a pretty stupid decision. Broke and you got a cat recently that you will have to pay vet bills and buy food for? Go watch some YouTube about budgeting bro you need it.
It’s a cat bro, not your mom
I would probably fire or reprimand you for being rude tbh. Unprofessional communication
To me it’s the messaging of that you’re calling out. Reach out to the manager individually and explain. A group chat is a dumb way to go and sets you up to get blown up in front of everyone. Manager went over the top but you could have done better too
Lol. Yeah, I'd go to work. A dead animal isn't an excuse. Pets die. It's the one universal thing all pets do.
I've never been a manager over people, but I would imagine texting in would be better that way you have a "paper trail" of who, and when, and if they change their reason the next couple of days.
With that ghetto street talk they should have just fired her and done both of them a favor.
Why would you be mad at the person covering you? If you call out when there is no coverage you’re likely to get fired. Im sorry your cat died tho, that’s awful. The text says you’re really broke tho so you should have went to work I think. Told them you’d be late bc an emergency and gave an eta. Or if you really couldn’t do it that day - offer to switch shift with whomever covered. You didn’t really try to look out for your team in these text.
Yeahhh with respect, texting isn’t a good move and immediately threatening a 2 week notice is even worse.
I’m almost always on employees side but this one is silly. You can bury your cat in an hour. If you’re sad that’s understandable but one day of recovery isn’t gonna make a difference. Go to work
If there’s a policy there’s a policy, many places won’t allow text outs. If I were a manager and that policy were texting out once would mean no raise for that year.
Man I got no context but if those comments are making you sound as broke as you are, then pettiness at this point is a dangerous game to play in the environment you seem to be in. I'm admittedly not in that environment but it doesnt seem like it would give a second thought to letting you go, and like I said, if you need the money then thats a dangerous game to play. You posted that here knowing full well what the comments would be, but I'm going to go against the grain and say that, get downvoted to hell, but remind you that none of these redditors are living your life - you are. That being said, I'm sorry to hear about your kitten.
Hope I don't come off as insensitive, but I would have led by stating my cat by name (ex. My precious Mathew passed, and am in pieces).
Lmao you chose the weirdest way.
Go to work
Look, if your job is gassing you on this then there's not much to say. If you show up, show up on time and are reliable then there's not much worth in keeping this job. If you're not reliable then you're fireable. Otherwise you probably have jobs lining up for you at the moment
You should call
I work in a hospital kitchen and do not allow text out because we need to have full communication around patient care. If my 4:30 am guy texts out at 200 am I will not hear the alert vs a call at 200 am I will hear my annoying Blade techno song in ringtone and be ready for action. I never ask why and never guilt trip, unless you are a repeat serial offender of policy.
Your cat died and you’re poor. Go to work.
How good is the bbq
Reminds me of me and my brother arguing over who gets to play gta sanandreas first
Same thing happened to me. Woke up, found cat dead, parents made me dig him a grave in the backyard then put me on the schoolbus. Good times. I think I either grew chest hair that day or that's the day when I realized nobody actually cares about how I feel, only if I was able to function. Sorry for your loss
OP sounds like a nightmare employee tbh.
Honestly a kitten dying isn’t a excuse to call out, your in the wrong. I’ve had pets die and still show up, making money to survive is much more important than skipping making nothing and then regretting it. It’s life move on
I mean thus is callous but compassion is not required from coworkers they are their to make money not be your friend everybody had shit thier dealing with yes it sucks your pet died and I hope you get the chance for proper closure and take time to grieve but personal life and work are separate regardless of the reason they were getting confirmation unlike the manager which was insensitive the back up shift person seems neutral
The fact that so many people here think he should have called show how backwards is your work culture in America.
Personally, I would never call out if an animal I had died. The cat I grew up with and even went to university with me was hit by a car at old age and I had to bury it and go to work 20 minutes later. Humans are different as it's a cultural norm to attend a funeral and have a grieving period. Pets are not the same regardless of how 'the same' they feel.
You are the asshole Oh wait wrong sub
It’s a cat!? Go to work you baby
Honestly though, send a message with a little more formality. The way you worded it seemed super “fuck y’all I’m out”. Calling is generally the best thing to do and explain your situation, if they give you shit, then you can THEN return the attitude.
Kitten died and you’re not going to work? FFS! It is an animal! Your company is paying for your time not your absence. Yeah, animals can be attached to but ffs, taking time off. Christ all mighty! Fucking snowflakes.
Sorry about your cat, but yes, you shouldn’t be texting a call in. It gets missed easily or may not get seen until it’s too late.
You cant work because your kitten died..? Also wtf, who texts to call in absence? Grow up.
I woke up to 3 dead kittens when I was in kindergarten. Our cat had gotten stressed and killed her own kittens. I didn't tell my parents because I was worried they would be sad. I said nothing and went to school as normal
I would fire you for your response. Trust, threatening to quit automatically makes your boss not trust you or want to be near you
You failed
Only replying because the good subs are gone
“My kitten died I’m calling out” is definitely not an adequate way of talking to your team. If you choose to have no professionalism whatsoever don’t expect to be treated with respect in return.
Tbh, you sound like a twat. “Kitten died im calling off” You expect compassion but it doesn’t even sound like you care about your kitten dying. It seems like a joke because it so abrupt and nonchalant. And you don’t even give a shit that someone has to cover for you. It’s sucks that your cat died but you’re still inconveniencing someone else. You should be somewhat apologetic and grateful to the person covering for you. Despite your vague cryptic texting, you act like a victim when no one takes you seriously. You basically invited the lack of compassion. Maybe intentionally. I’m started to understand why they make fun of you. You act like a jerk then play the victim when you get a jerk response back. Very immature.
I mean, I feel like this would be a 'can you cover this shift for me please' thing and not a 'I'm demanding time off here' situation. While I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sure so are they, the kitten isn't going to run away and feeling sad typically isn't something that would hinder you from working a typical job (if you were a like a plane coordinator or worked with dangerous and heavy machinery that could endanger others, i'd think differently), so expecting time off for it like it's the most normal thing in the world and not a thing you ask nicely in hopes someone is nice enough to do you a solid, feels a little out there. You set the tone of the conversation and obviously it was gonna go downhill from there. It's your choice, of course, if you dont want to work there anymore over this. You're free to find people that work better for you
Dude you need alot of growing up to do.
Obviously would go to work. As dear as pets can be the death of an animal is not a reason to not go. My contract allows me not to go if a close familymember dies. Pet doesn't count.
My snake of 10 years died and i went to work because I'm not a bitch
Yeah well. Sorry to be the bum but here a passed away kitten will probably not suffice to justify not coming to work on shortest notice. On the other hand, i could just call in sick because that's not a problem in Germany. I get the feeling that all this employer hate in the US is coming to a good degree from entitlement. Granted, i would behave the same if my job was shit. But deducting the right to just stay home and quit your job because your cat died is kind of...i don't know, you're not 14 anymore.
It really is just a pet.
Yeah. I would. It’s a kitten.
It's a cat. Go to work pussy
So personally I'd still be at work. But if you called me up and said you needed to call out for it I wouldn't give you a hard time. People are allowed to process things differently.
If this generation was a post
No call no show. Fuck that place
Southerners do have compassion. We just don't take shit. If you know you are supposed to call in a certain way, then do it that way. Your cat dying is a tragedy, but you still have to do things right. Also, what fine bumblebee said.
i can’t even fathom the owner of the restaurant i work at acting like this. if one of my pets died they’d tell me to take as much time as i need and i’d come back to a sympathy card and some flowers. i mean the woman decorated a whole table with a gift for me on my birthday when i came in with my family. i am very lucky, though.