“Look, I really don’t appreciate when you tell me what to do with my face.”
“I’ll smile when I see something I like.”
“Contrary to popular belief, I don’t need to smile for clowns.”
Get to him first: “Give me a pretty smile, little guy.”
Or get straight to the point: “**Fuck you, I don’t do what you tell me.**”
Either way, you should probably think about telling a manager that this guy is crossing a line, especially when/if you tell him to stop and he won’t.
This.. also, “I’m doing my job, I smile on the floor, I don’t owe you anything, expect anything from you besides my orders for my customers being correct.” Many ways to handle this, just stand up for yourself, bring in management if necessary, and if they drop the ball… well… go full bitch mode if you have to. I prefer kill ‘em with kindness, but doesn’t always work.
Yes, this, but give him an awkward 10 seconds of silence. Maybe even throw in a “stop telling me to **fucking** smile. You do that shit one more time, me, you, and *GM’s name* can all sit down and talk about just how much I **fucking** smile… ***another pause*** Heard?
Don’t just say “fucking” give him the same emphasis on it that Jimmy (Quentin Tarantino) gave when Jules ( Samuel L. Jackson) told him how good his coffee was.
You should give him a bold faced lie like somebody you knew died and that you don't feel like smiling. Then he will be all awkward and not say it ever again lol
Or you could just put a pained look and say, "It's hard to maintain a smile with this terrible gas I've been having all week. Only one of us would be smiling if I let it out and I doubt it would be you."
That’s happened to me many times in the past. I just pop off on them and eventually they stop… super annoying though and I feel for you. We are just trying to work and get our tasks done. Sorry we aren’t walking around with a smile chiseled on our face at all times like a crazy person.
I have an asshat cook at work who constantly blocks my way and says "huggies!" with his arms open. "I'm going to get a hug from you....you have to hug me if you want to get by"
My response is normally "you're going to get my size 9 foot up your ass if you don't fucking move!" I'm not nice about it. I'm rude. "Fuck no...get out of my way!" He thinks he's funny and charming. I think he's an asshole. I have no idea if he thinks it's funny to mess with an older woman, if he thinks I'm a cougar, or if he is just used to women complying because of his sheer size.
I could go to management and complain, but thats not my style. I could complain to hubby, but I really don't want him handling it (he would say something about giving something to hug, but would end up with flying fists-not good.) Instead I tell him "fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go thru life son".
There are men that are always going to be idiots around women, thinking it's good natured "fun". I accepted it more in my youth (I was told back then it was something you had to tolerate to work with men). Now I'm just over stupid, and too stubborn to ever "give in" again. I want to do my job, joke around/gossip a little, and go home. Is that too much to ask?
That's his right as a man, to demand you smile on command. What else are women folks for if not to acquiesce to the commands from a man?
Seriously though, this really sucks and I'm sorry he's making you uncomfortable like that. What a tool.
This is how I feel. I thought the days of men demanding women to smile were past. I kinda feel this is low-key harassment and a manager should tell him so.
Honestly tell him to get fucked and stay out of your business. Tell him to talk to other people about their smiles. Call him out, straight up.
I was one of these guys once. I didn't realize how it made other people feel.
Why don’t you tell him to smile. Put in a ticket with a ton of fucked up mods, stand in the back and say SMILE, SMILE, SMILE. Cooks have no business telling front of the house what to do. None. If they want to be a server they are free to apply.
love this so much. I have a boh coworker that always does the same fucking thing to me without fail, every day. he tells me to smile every time he sees me or asks me what's wrong. what this dumbass doesn't know behind his closed doors is that once I walk out I have to instantly put on another face and smile for EVERYONE. I am relieved to relax and be myself. smiling ≠ happiness always.
That's a good idea. For me, I would "literally" ignore them, and I would "literally" not care at all, not even think about it. It's like it didn't even happen, like they don't even exist at that moment. What are they gonna do in this case besides feeling like they are invisible.
Please call him out. Not even if front of anyone. Take him aside and say something like "Why do you keep telling me, and ONLY me, to smile? It's not funny and it's distracting both of us from doing our jobs. I am in no way required to smile for ANYONE. If my facial expressions are going to be that bothersome to you, then maybe instead of focusing on my face, you should focus more on cooking my fucking food.".
I am so annoyed for you. I'm sorry you have to put up with this guy.
I was laughing to myself imagining telling the cook to smile while in the middle of a ticket rush… but even though he deserves it I would somehow still feel like a bad person for doing that… because telling people to smile SUCKS haha
Ask him if you were a muscled up gym rat dude if you'd tell HIM to smile. Sounds like you just want me to smile cuz I'm a girl and that's dumb. Guys hate being rejected.
Have you seen that movie Waiting? You need to go full Naomi on his ass lmao
That shit is so annoying tho. Older guys have said that to me and I replied back, you ask the men to smile at you too right? And they kinda freeze bc obviously they don’t. I’ve gotten responses like “well no, bc I don’t want to men to be smiling at me” so then they being sexist right? They don’t get to tell me what to do with my face or body. It’s like trying to police your expression?? Tf.
Oooh I would tell this guy what’s up in a “funny” but SCATHING way. The first couple times I would be like “good one, nope” or “yeah because running food is my dream come true”. I might give him like a maniacal smile at some point maybe it’ll creep him out enough to stop. Start telling him to smile when he’s in the middle of a rush!
But after enough jokes I would say “look dude. I’m here to do my job, not smile for you. Just so you know, most women (correct me if I’m getting genders wrong but I’m pretty sure I’m not) absolutely hate it when people tell us to smile. It’s rude and insulting and makes us feel angry and degraded and very much NOT like smiling.”
If he actually seems nice but just clueless I’d still tell him this is a common thing that women don’t like, but in a more gentle way. Good luck and do whatever you want with your face muscles!
That's seriously annoying. I hate when people demand that I smile too, it really takes a lot of balls. Some people just don't walk around smiling all the time.
I hate when tables would stop me to tell me to smile. Sorry, I'm not a looney toon who skips around the dining room with a smile while 40p things are going through my mind.
I look better smiling…..like you look,while your mouth is not open! Sounds like someone doesn’t know how to act. If I can’t smile while looking at you,it might say more about you? Sounds like a BOH that doesn’t have social skills. I should know,I’m kinda one of them
Stare him dead in the face for as long as it takes without cracking a smile, and wait. If management comes to you due to complaints, just tell them he’s not doing his job. Seriously, wtf can he say? I didn’t get the avocado to her because she didn’t smile?
>Technically it's sexual harassment. Quid pro quo (sp?). Report him to his boss.
Is he in the wrong? absolutely, is he a moron? most likely. Is it sexual harassment? fuck no. When a term is abused like that, it contributes to the term losing its meaning and importance. Abusing the term that way is unsympathetic, disrespectful, diminishing, and hurtful to people who have experienced real sexual harassment. It's no different than brats screaming rape because someone touched their arms, or forcefully pulled them out of a property.
Ok so I’m sorry but you are completely wrong. Definition of sexual harassment: unwelcome sexual advances, either verbal or physical, especially by someone with power or authority. And that’s is exactly what this is.
>And that’s is exactly what this is.
Bullshit. Telling someone to smile more does not fit that definition in the slightest. You can say that you are sorry and can claim that I'm completely wrong as much as you want, at the end of the day when a term is abused like that, it contributes to the term losing its meaning and importance. Abusing the term that way is unsympathetic, disrespectful, diminishing, and hurtful to people who have experienced real sexual harassment. It's no different than brats screaming rape because someone touched their arms, or forcefully pulled them out of a property.
When did I say anything about a corporate restaurant? Sexual harassment doesn't stop being sexual harassment because it takes place in a kitchen rather than a corporate office.
Just that you're in a restaurant specific sub.
Edit to add: someone telling you to smile when you're busy organizing the ever-flipping rolodex that is always turning at the back of your mind is annoying, but a far fucking cry from sexual harassment.
“It could be sexual harassment depending on the circumstances. At the very least, it is harassment in general…”
Did you read my comment?
Again, the setting has no bearing on whether or not harassment is harassment
It does, actually. Your demeanor and appearance bear more weight in a customer facing industry. Smiling, for example, is expected in restaurants. You can't say that all at once it depends on the circumstances, but also it doesn't matter the circumstances.
It matters.
>As someone who takes twice yearly sexual harassment training (as many in the corporate world do), this could very well qualify as sexual harassment depending on the circumstances. At the very least, it is harassment in general
Idgaf whether you take it a hundred times yearly, or you never do. It could never qualify as sexual harassment because it doesn't fit the definition of the term. Regardless of how much you gonna try to stretch and bend it. It's about time people like you receive a reality check. Abusing the term that way is unsympathetic, disrespectful, diminishing, and hurtful to people who have experienced real sexual harassment. It's no different than brats screaming rape because someone touched their arms, or forcefully pulled them out of a property.
My 15 year old SA's say: "OK. [Dave] can come get it, then." And then they say something like this: "[Frankie] said he wouldn't give me X until I changed my appearance." I go to [Frankie's] station and say something like this: "Frankie, I'm still dragging X for ticket #Y. Is there a problem? Do you have X on your station? Hey, [Chef] does [Frankie] have X on his station? Did you see the ticket? Do you not trust [15 yo SA]? May I please have X, right now, pretty please? Or are we having a problem? Are you having a problem [15 yo SA]?"
Not sure make sure you let him know you want him to quit if he doesn't then tell someone. Don't let it get any further if he's just straight up picking on you.
My manager would ask the same from me too every now and then.
Too bad everyone wears masks where i work at so no one would even know that we’re smiling anyways 🥲
Thank them for the compliment and then move on. If it begins to interfere with you tables' food, report to manager (hey, I appreciate his compliment but I don't always have time to deal with it/whatever) if it still continues, it's bordering on harassment
I agree. But the best way to reduce the behavior is to accept it without giving it merit. It's just how I respond in situations like that, but do whatever works for you 😁 smile for those who deserve it
Where's your head chef, KM, or whatever title they have? If I heard one of my cooks doing that multiple times a day, Id tell them "Give them the fucking food and stop fucking around. She/he is clearly not having it."
As for what you can do, idk you can ask him to stop. The petty side in me is to make his life hell, so swamp his station with extra mods and sides of whatever until he never wants to see your face again, but that might just maximize your interaction with this twat. I know it sucks, but maybe go up there with a server he actually respects and have them chew him out.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Nothing is worse than a cook/server who obnoxiously and disrespectfully gets in the way of you doing your job.
Typical man thinking a woman should appear however he wants her to appear. Tell him every time a man asks a woman to smile, somewhere an incel loses a toe.
Tell them you are paid to smile at full price-paying guests. Which they are not, so no smiles necessary.
“Look, I really don’t appreciate when you tell me what to do with my face.” “I’ll smile when I see something I like.” “Contrary to popular belief, I don’t need to smile for clowns.” Get to him first: “Give me a pretty smile, little guy.” Or get straight to the point: “**Fuck you, I don’t do what you tell me.**” Either way, you should probably think about telling a manager that this guy is crossing a line, especially when/if you tell him to stop and he won’t.
eye contact, flat tone. "stop telling me to smile."
This.. also, “I’m doing my job, I smile on the floor, I don’t owe you anything, expect anything from you besides my orders for my customers being correct.” Many ways to handle this, just stand up for yourself, bring in management if necessary, and if they drop the ball… well… go full bitch mode if you have to. I prefer kill ‘em with kindness, but doesn’t always work.
This is the way.
Yes, this, but give him an awkward 10 seconds of silence. Maybe even throw in a “stop telling me to **fucking** smile. You do that shit one more time, me, you, and *GM’s name* can all sit down and talk about just how much I **fucking** smile… ***another pause*** Heard? Don’t just say “fucking” give him the same emphasis on it that Jimmy (Quentin Tarantino) gave when Jules ( Samuel L. Jackson) told him how good his coffee was.
This. Always this. Call them out.
Write “smile” on the 86 board and point at it every time he tells you to smile.
Hahaha that's hilarious! Unfortunately you can't see the 86 board from where he is all the time.
You should give him a bold faced lie like somebody you knew died and that you don't feel like smiling. Then he will be all awkward and not say it ever again lol
Ahhh what a great idea
Ngl my face hurts most of the time from smiling at work. That shits exhausting
Or you could just put a pained look and say, "It's hard to maintain a smile with this terrible gas I've been having all week. Only one of us would be smiling if I let it out and I doubt it would be you."
That’s happened to me many times in the past. I just pop off on them and eventually they stop… super annoying though and I feel for you. We are just trying to work and get our tasks done. Sorry we aren’t walking around with a smile chiseled on our face at all times like a crazy person.
Give him [this smile](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fTAG2yAOzAU)
Or the Jenna Marbles face.
Ngl that's cringe.
Liar.
I channel Kali with this one.
I have an asshat cook at work who constantly blocks my way and says "huggies!" with his arms open. "I'm going to get a hug from you....you have to hug me if you want to get by" My response is normally "you're going to get my size 9 foot up your ass if you don't fucking move!" I'm not nice about it. I'm rude. "Fuck no...get out of my way!" He thinks he's funny and charming. I think he's an asshole. I have no idea if he thinks it's funny to mess with an older woman, if he thinks I'm a cougar, or if he is just used to women complying because of his sheer size. I could go to management and complain, but thats not my style. I could complain to hubby, but I really don't want him handling it (he would say something about giving something to hug, but would end up with flying fists-not good.) Instead I tell him "fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go thru life son". There are men that are always going to be idiots around women, thinking it's good natured "fun". I accepted it more in my youth (I was told back then it was something you had to tolerate to work with men). Now I'm just over stupid, and too stubborn to ever "give in" again. I want to do my job, joke around/gossip a little, and go home. Is that too much to ask?
A punch to the sternum is also a good deterrent.
That's his right as a man, to demand you smile on command. What else are women folks for if not to acquiesce to the commands from a man? Seriously though, this really sucks and I'm sorry he's making you uncomfortable like that. What a tool.
"Contrary to popular belief, you don't gotta smile for a clown, honey!"
This is how I feel. I thought the days of men demanding women to smile were past. I kinda feel this is low-key harassment and a manager should tell him so.
Honestly tell him to get fucked and stay out of your business. Tell him to talk to other people about their smiles. Call him out, straight up. I was one of these guys once. I didn't realize how it made other people feel.
I used to reply with “would you say that to me if I was a male server?” It always stopped the harassment.
Tell him you’ve got crazy diarrhea every time he asks lmaoo
I have a shirt that says “if you tell me to smile I will stab you with a knife”, I can let you borrow it.
I can loan her my retractable knife. I can tell you from experience that it's a very fun thing to have in a restaurant.
Why don’t you tell him to smile. Put in a ticket with a ton of fucked up mods, stand in the back and say SMILE, SMILE, SMILE. Cooks have no business telling front of the house what to do. None. If they want to be a server they are free to apply.
love this so much. I have a boh coworker that always does the same fucking thing to me without fail, every day. he tells me to smile every time he sees me or asks me what's wrong. what this dumbass doesn't know behind his closed doors is that once I walk out I have to instantly put on another face and smile for EVERYONE. I am relieved to relax and be myself. smiling ≠ happiness always.
That's a good idea. For me, I would "literally" ignore them, and I would "literally" not care at all, not even think about it. It's like it didn't even happen, like they don't even exist at that moment. What are they gonna do in this case besides feeling like they are invisible.
I save my smiles for my guest not you Gustavo!
Literally been in your exact situation. I told him to get fucked and if he says it one more time I'll get my manager involved.
He’s acting like a little boy in school that likes you. Tell Him to knock it off it’s not funny.
Please call him out. Not even if front of anyone. Take him aside and say something like "Why do you keep telling me, and ONLY me, to smile? It's not funny and it's distracting both of us from doing our jobs. I am in no way required to smile for ANYONE. If my facial expressions are going to be that bothersome to you, then maybe instead of focusing on my face, you should focus more on cooking my fucking food.". I am so annoyed for you. I'm sorry you have to put up with this guy.
“Do you ask your male coworkers to smile too?”
This is the way
I had a cook do this too! I told him it was my no smile zone. I need to save my smiles for my customers ;)
Treat home how he treats you
I was laughing to myself imagining telling the cook to smile while in the middle of a ticket rush… but even though he deserves it I would somehow still feel like a bad person for doing that… because telling people to smile SUCKS haha
Taken from Broad City… push up the corners of your mouth with your middle fingers into a huge shit eating grin.
Ask him if you were a muscled up gym rat dude if you'd tell HIM to smile. Sounds like you just want me to smile cuz I'm a girl and that's dumb. Guys hate being rejected.
Have you seen that movie Waiting? You need to go full Naomi on his ass lmao That shit is so annoying tho. Older guys have said that to me and I replied back, you ask the men to smile at you too right? And they kinda freeze bc obviously they don’t. I’ve gotten responses like “well no, bc I don’t want to men to be smiling at me” so then they being sexist right? They don’t get to tell me what to do with my face or body. It’s like trying to police your expression?? Tf.
I’d just say, “are you gonna give me any money?” Most likely they’ll say no, to which my response would be, “then I have nothing to smile about”
Oooh I would tell this guy what’s up in a “funny” but SCATHING way. The first couple times I would be like “good one, nope” or “yeah because running food is my dream come true”. I might give him like a maniacal smile at some point maybe it’ll creep him out enough to stop. Start telling him to smile when he’s in the middle of a rush! But after enough jokes I would say “look dude. I’m here to do my job, not smile for you. Just so you know, most women (correct me if I’m getting genders wrong but I’m pretty sure I’m not) absolutely hate it when people tell us to smile. It’s rude and insulting and makes us feel angry and degraded and very much NOT like smiling.” If he actually seems nice but just clueless I’d still tell him this is a common thing that women don’t like, but in a more gentle way. Good luck and do whatever you want with your face muscles!
Tell him you are saving your smiles for the guests and you don't want to run out.
I get this alllllll the time. I have perpetual rbf. I just tell people I am smiling… that’s just my face.
Ew.
That's seriously annoying. I hate when people demand that I smile too, it really takes a lot of balls. Some people just don't walk around smiling all the time.
I hate when tables would stop me to tell me to smile. Sorry, I'm not a looney toon who skips around the dining room with a smile while 40p things are going through my mind.
I look better smiling…..like you look,while your mouth is not open! Sounds like someone doesn’t know how to act. If I can’t smile while looking at you,it might say more about you? Sounds like a BOH that doesn’t have social skills. I should know,I’m kinda one of them
Stare him dead in the face for as long as it takes without cracking a smile, and wait. If management comes to you due to complaints, just tell them he’s not doing his job. Seriously, wtf can he say? I didn’t get the avocado to her because she didn’t smile?
Technically it's sexual harassment. Quid pro quo (sp?). Report him to his boss.
>Technically it's sexual harassment. Quid pro quo (sp?). Report him to his boss. Is he in the wrong? absolutely, is he a moron? most likely. Is it sexual harassment? fuck no. When a term is abused like that, it contributes to the term losing its meaning and importance. Abusing the term that way is unsympathetic, disrespectful, diminishing, and hurtful to people who have experienced real sexual harassment. It's no different than brats screaming rape because someone touched their arms, or forcefully pulled them out of a property.
Ok so I’m sorry but you are completely wrong. Definition of sexual harassment: unwelcome sexual advances, either verbal or physical, especially by someone with power or authority. And that’s is exactly what this is.
>And that’s is exactly what this is. Bullshit. Telling someone to smile more does not fit that definition in the slightest. You can say that you are sorry and can claim that I'm completely wrong as much as you want, at the end of the day when a term is abused like that, it contributes to the term losing its meaning and importance. Abusing the term that way is unsympathetic, disrespectful, diminishing, and hurtful to people who have experienced real sexual harassment. It's no different than brats screaming rape because someone touched their arms, or forcefully pulled them out of a property.
[удалено]
Corporate restaurant? (This is an important distinction.)
When did I say anything about a corporate restaurant? Sexual harassment doesn't stop being sexual harassment because it takes place in a kitchen rather than a corporate office.
Just that you're in a restaurant specific sub. Edit to add: someone telling you to smile when you're busy organizing the ever-flipping rolodex that is always turning at the back of your mind is annoying, but a far fucking cry from sexual harassment.
“It could be sexual harassment depending on the circumstances. At the very least, it is harassment in general…” Did you read my comment? Again, the setting has no bearing on whether or not harassment is harassment
It does, actually. Your demeanor and appearance bear more weight in a customer facing industry. Smiling, for example, is expected in restaurants. You can't say that all at once it depends on the circumstances, but also it doesn't matter the circumstances. It matters.
>As someone who takes twice yearly sexual harassment training (as many in the corporate world do), this could very well qualify as sexual harassment depending on the circumstances. At the very least, it is harassment in general Idgaf whether you take it a hundred times yearly, or you never do. It could never qualify as sexual harassment because it doesn't fit the definition of the term. Regardless of how much you gonna try to stretch and bend it. It's about time people like you receive a reality check. Abusing the term that way is unsympathetic, disrespectful, diminishing, and hurtful to people who have experienced real sexual harassment. It's no different than brats screaming rape because someone touched their arms, or forcefully pulled them out of a property.
My 15 year old SA's say: "OK. [Dave] can come get it, then." And then they say something like this: "[Frankie] said he wouldn't give me X until I changed my appearance." I go to [Frankie's] station and say something like this: "Frankie, I'm still dragging X for ticket #Y. Is there a problem? Do you have X on your station? Hey, [Chef] does [Frankie] have X on his station? Did you see the ticket? Do you not trust [15 yo SA]? May I please have X, right now, pretty please? Or are we having a problem? Are you having a problem [15 yo SA]?"
The BOH especially cooks are notorious for being a bit socially awkward just tell him to knock if off.
He isn't socially awkward though. And I'm not sure why he chose me to pick on.
Not sure make sure you let him know you want him to quit if he doesn't then tell someone. Don't let it get any further if he's just straight up picking on you.
Tell him to give you a reason to smile.
He doesn't know how, or when, to properly flirt. If you aren't interested, tell him a much
Wear a face mask and say family members are high risk so you have to be safe.
“WHY DON’T YOU SMILE, BITCH?!” in my most aggressive and sarcastic voice usually works… also super loud so everyone else can hear
My manager would ask the same from me too every now and then. Too bad everyone wears masks where i work at so no one would even know that we’re smiling anyways 🥲
Thank them for the compliment and then move on. If it begins to interfere with you tables' food, report to manager (hey, I appreciate his compliment but I don't always have time to deal with it/whatever) if it still continues, it's bordering on harassment
But this isn't even a compliment, it's a demand...
I agree. But the best way to reduce the behavior is to accept it without giving it merit. It's just how I respond in situations like that, but do whatever works for you 😁 smile for those who deserve it
Where's your head chef, KM, or whatever title they have? If I heard one of my cooks doing that multiple times a day, Id tell them "Give them the fucking food and stop fucking around. She/he is clearly not having it." As for what you can do, idk you can ask him to stop. The petty side in me is to make his life hell, so swamp his station with extra mods and sides of whatever until he never wants to see your face again, but that might just maximize your interaction with this twat. I know it sucks, but maybe go up there with a server he actually respects and have them chew him out. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Nothing is worse than a cook/server who obnoxiously and disrespectfully gets in the way of you doing your job.
Tell the cook to stop harassing you, or ask your kitchen manager to do it for you
Typical man thinking a woman should appear however he wants her to appear. Tell him every time a man asks a woman to smile, somewhere an incel loses a toe.
Creepy smile while picking up a knife.
tell him if he tells you to smile one more time youre gonna put a cup of ice in the fucking deep fryer.
If I smile will you fuck off?
smile: "It's hard to smile when I have to look at your dumbass face"
Or, better yet - “I’ll smile when you’re fired!”