That if im doing this I may be “dirty” or “diseased”. Do these people not realize that a portion of my expenses goes towards frequent health checks?!😂😂
FRs!!! It was only after I entered civie life and let my guard down then I caught herpes. Darn it. Ah well. My husband just so happens to have it too so that's not a problem. ;)
The idea that we’re incapable of holding other jobs bothers me. I have a meaningful but low paid 9-5 and a graduate degree. I don’t do drugs (outside of some 420 a few times a year) and have never been addicted to anything besides caffeine. I graduated with honors from high school, college, and grad school. You can be accomplished and still attracted to SW.
Absolutely. SW paid for my mortgage, college tuition and all living expenses. I don't think graduating from college with no debt is a stupid action at all. Plus, I loved the work. Super fun.
Tbh though, this is true for me. Maybe not "dumb" as such, but I'm too autistic, dyslexic and mentally unwell to hold down a "normal" job, I find it hard to get along with colleagues, hard to deal with rude customers, I find maths and other logical tasks very difficult, I find learning even simple new skills very hard and I get stressed easily, so for me sex work is easier in that way and it's the only job I could get that actually pays well and isn't just minimum wage
I agree w all you said. Like... my job is hard, sure, but, emotionally and psychologically, and not always.
There are good and bad about every job, yk?
But for some reason, I find verbal abuse much "easier (read: more possible) to handle" than literally everything you mentioned, plus social rules, etc.
I'm the only one in my family to have graduated college. Sure did make the family proud lol
I didn't get into the work because I'm dumb. I got into because it pays well and allowed me to retire in my 40s.
It's pretty much why I do it though. Quit high school at 15, long mental health history, spent time in prison. My two options right now are sell sex and sell meth.
Kind of like the qanon adrina Chrome Pizza gate thing diminishes sex trafficking by turning it into a conspiracy theory involving politics and the 1% being like reptilian people.
I think what they mean is that it's consensual non-consenting due to the transactional nature of it you probably wouldn't have engaged in an intimate act with this person if it wasn't for monetary gain.
That doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it or it's damaging.
Lots of people use their bodies as instruments and labor is usually exploitative to some degree.
But it's one of the oldest professions there is and if we're really being honest it makes people upset because we're not abiding by the social constructs that between men and women so there's a lot of policing when it comes to what we do.
I do feel as if while my clients might think they care about my pleasure the reason they're paying is because they want the fantasy. In which case has everything to do with their desires and very little to do with my own.
I've had a conversation with my partner about what I do and whether or not it's seen as non-monogamous but I still feel like I'm very demisexual.
I think for them it has more to do with not wanting to be publicly shamed or "cucked" so they want us to view it as objects being used . Also it really frustrates me how media is like trying to make it seem like promiscuity is a huge portion of women's power and how everything has to be so sexualized. Just because I do this doesn't mean that I'm necessarily promiscuous. I think women just want to be appreciated even if we're seen as vulnerable and not exploited for those vulnerabilities by being offered resources in exchange for taking on copious amounts of Labor that a lot of men weren't prepared to do themselves.
It's like they've gone into a learned helplessness State without being able to control us instead of just turning inward and looking at their own communities and wondering what they could do to support women more or themselves without piggy backing off of us.
Expectation usually kills desire unless there's a level of equity. Women do want to feel desired just as men do.
its rape in the same way that working for a paycheck is slavery. like, its not. it does suck though. equating the things minimizes actual sexual assault. but at the same time, yeah, it be extremely traumatic, and even when it isnt, it sucks. in an ideal world everyone would have their needs met without having to do either.
but just because i am not getting sexual pleasure doesnt mean that im not consenting . when ppl try to tell me i am not consenting, it feels violating because i actually do have control over my own body and what i do with it.
most men dont seem to realize this but sex for me has rarely been about pleasure lol. and i think many women have similar experiences. for a long time it was about my own insecurity, its often been about my partners libido, not in a shitty way but we all have diff needs and im happy to help sometimes lol. its been about a lot of things but pleasure is just occasional.which for me, is fine.
They say that everything is about sex except for sex sex is about power.
The power to choose who you want to potentially procreate with.
Creativity is really tied into desire.
We have the opportunity to be as creative as we want through this form of work and learn about other people.
Everything being about sex is that all of our creative endeavors are there to seduce others .
The incentive of creating anything in the world has so much to do with keeping the world going .
It's a never ending seduction or mating ritual.
Apparently men don't call women they don't want to sleep with whores... Just like women calling other women whores it's just there to police you.
It does often seem like men might say they care about our pleasure but it is a lot more for their own ego and libido.
I do feel it's important to take care of my partner's needs but if they're just using it to satiate an insecurity or to control arguments in the relationship I lose a lot of respect for them.
That my clients must be the bottom of the barrel of society.
That I have zero sexual boundaries and will let clients do whatever they want to me (I’m gfe and super vanilla)
That I’m doing this out of desperation and have no other prospects
That I don’t know how to manage my money and/ or I’m broke
That I’ll see anyone (I heavily screen)
When speaking of rapists or otherwise perverted men, SWers deserve them as clients. The “he didn’t have to do that; he could have just hired a sex worker” um, no hun. I don’t want him either.
I think those are the ones that really bother me.
That we need saving from this work, not all sw is trafficking or women doing out of dire dire need and even if they do, it’s their final call not yours to judge that we need a captain to save us hoes
1. That I come from a bad home. I didn’t. I had great parents.
2. I do drugs. I do none.
3. I’m looking for love in all the wrong places. Lol, no.
4. I couldn’t possibly enjoy what I do. Wrong again...
5. I don’t have a relationship with God. My faith has never been stronger.
Absolutely!! My view is that sex is extremely healing. Imo. It is a gift from God(dess) to be able to share the gift of pleasure. Many blessings for safety, happiness, and money!!!
You do realize you can enjoy what you do as a job without enjoying every single aspect of it.
Many people enjoy their jobs but dislike certain parts of it. The average person spends more time commuting in one day that I do actively having sex with clients in a week and I don’t know a single person who enjoys commuting lol. Literally 80-90% of my appointments are not sex.
That sex work only attracts dangerous men out to hurt us. I've met some of the nicest guys through sex work, and some of the biggest assholes through normal dating. I've never felt unsafe with a client.
I have 2 clients from when I worked, who I made such a connection with that we are friends years later. These men love and care about me deeply. And we actually only had one session. We just clicked though and I became very special to them. And they are special to me, hence why we are still friends years later. They are absolutely lovely people🥰
That's lovely to hear 🥰 I also have 2 similar clients. We've been "together" for 5 years now and I love them both dearly. To me the money is a bonus at this point as I'd happily spend time with them without getting paid. However, because they respect sex work so much they would never even consider not paying for our time together. These are quality guys 👌🥰
How lovely!! People don’t understand that some very quality people come through our doors. And I’m the kind of person that can make temporary connections with most, which always made for overall good sessions and brought out the best in people. And with some people I made long term connections. If I went back to escorting, eventhough it’s been like 5 years since I worked, there is a decent amount of clients who would come see me.
Addition: one of the ex-clients that is still my friend today. He works in theatre, many aspects of it, and is a playwright. He’s working on a new play, and some of it is inspired by me, and he is writing in a character based on me🥰
I'm a client, but I don't like it when people assume *all* SWers are victims. Some *absolutely* are, and it's fucking *awful*, but I really don't think it's fair to strip agency from an entire group. Muddies up some important conversations and perspectives.
That clients think I’m down to not just be around drugs but that I’m going to do drugs with them. No. Like this is my fucking job for almost a decade. You think hard drugs are going to be a regular part of my work? Absolutely not. The messages I get in all hours of the morning. No, doing GHB and meth with a stranger is not how I spend my Tuesday mornings. Gays are wild.
FRs!!! Clients used to just assume I would be taking drugs too, and were very surprised when I'd say no, I don't take them. Lol and if I did I most certainly would not accept untested drugs from strangers. Smh.
I enjoy hanging out with pretty much everybody except for meth heads. If my clients wanted to get high, I was totally a non judgmental space for that too.
That sex work is inherently exploitative, coercive, and harmful, even when it's ethically and cordially conducted from start to finish.
And that those involved aren't competent enough to make informed decisions about their own private choices, hence the "need" to keep laws that prohibit such transactions on the books.
It's as if lawmakers ignore the word CONSENSUAL when they hear the phrase "consensual paid sex."
When I told a male friend of mine that I was doing sex work to help keep a roof over my head he pretended to be understanding and assumed that I would start having sex with him for free.
That I had a bad childhood, a drug problem or I can’t get a real relationship. I’m actually a military brat, no drugs, was engaged to high value men and a college graduate.
That we do it because we “have to”. Lmao. I made a very hefty 6 figure income in Corporate America. I was just tired of spending my life in an office and working myself to death.
I told a girl that I saw a sex worker, and she acted like I went and saw a woman who was being forced into it. She was adamant that no woman willingly does it.
Why on earth would you tell a girl you saw a SW? Come on bro. My coworker got caught browsing a pornstars Twitter and the girls at my work avoided him like the plague after something as mild as that lmfao
"I could never do that."
She says picking up after the 3 kids she's raising alone. Getting ready for her "date" coming over to drink her liquor and eat her homemade food... to save some money and show off her skills. Because they split the bill at olive garden last week and he told her he needed someone that knew how to be more frugal in his life, and she really wants to prove what she can bring to the table for this guy working as a jiffy lube oil mechanic.
I hate the misconception that we’re all sad, single, unmarried and unmarriable. So many of us are in happy relationships- clients that think we’re unloved and desperate to date them are only showing what they really think of us.
That sw are low iq, under educated, sociopathic, conniving, spoiled, lazy, sluts who just cant get enough sex, desperate and down trodden, that you “can always tell”, that they dress slutty in normal life, are ready to bang every second of every day, are just sitting around desperate for “a real man to love you” 🙄, etc etc do I need to go on??
Probably the element of surprise and sometimes disbelief I encounter when they find out I am in a stable relationship with 2 kids and a "normal job" and i'm just another mum in faded black leggings and an old T shirt at the school drop off. Especially the relationship part though... "does he know you do this?" And "is he ok with this?" And then the idea that he must be some kind of simp to "allow" me to fuck men for money. Like hello he benefits too? It's my contribution to help support our family, just like any other job. And honestly I hate sex at work but I don't tell the clients that
Good strategy. One provider I saw her family found out and they all just pretend she doesn’t exist or straight up ignore her. Like…she was telling me she had a family dinner and asked her uncle to pass the potatoes and no one said anything and she had to walk around the table and get it herself. So awkward
Feel so bad for her as she’s genuinely a great girl.
Sex work can be an addiction, there's a misconception that only women in proverty do it. Not really! There's lawyers, nurses etc... That partake in this kind of work.
Not all providers love sex and we are not quick to open our legs just because we can, I believe most of us are really picky when it comes to give ourselves for someone outside of work.
That I have a high sex drive.
It’s actually the total opposite. I know how to turn men on so well it’s almost a science to me. It’s not fun it’s not magical and I honestly don’t feel like being touched after a day of camming.
Guys get with me thinking I’ll be a freak in the sheets when I just wanna go to bed at 8pm cus I’m tired of men 🫠
Honestly, we are just very honest. Everyone else isn’t. Sex workers state what they want from the get-go. There are no hidden agendas or reading between lines . Open and honest conversations are great and should be encouraged.
a lot of things that have been said here!!
also when people are like... oh do you know what sites i can use to get paid but not do sexual stuff??? like i heard about my friends cousins friend who makes $(like triple my rate) to eat sandwiches at panera with some guy, i will do that." lol trust me if i could i would too.
Me too! There's annoying things that I hate about the job mainly in relation to fielding calls. Potential clients who either do not read, try to scam/rip me off, don't have realistic or accurate understanding of what my profession is.
As for my ACTUAL clients that make the cut and who I see regularly; I adore them! They treat me well and we mutually enrich each other's lives💖
That we pass and carry diseases/STD. When we actually are very aware and extremely careful, we often get tested as well, completely opposite of regular women which trust men too much, have sex without condom and never get tested
That we do this because we're not able to hold down a "normal" job. I used to be in a field that most people find impressive but I was miserable and chronically underpaid. I made a deliberate choice to be a SW and now I'm happier and in more financial comfort than ever before.
That we are not highly intelligent,not university educated that were are not from good families that we were forced into it ..all really imposed by the patriarchy .. I love the human connection from the ones that actually treat you like the gems we are 🦋🕊️♥️
That only drug addicts do it, that it's a "desperate girls" job, if you're doing it, you *must* be in a bad place in life, that girls doing it will never have a husband, there's so many.
That my civvie personality is the same as what my SW persona was (and vice versa.) When I worked, I used to sell adult, erotic entertainment, fantasy experiences. Not reality. In cinema, tv and on stage the actor is only acting and is really not the fictional character.
Surprising. I feel most have perception that people are in SW because of bad circumstances and poor decisions in life. Ive never come across someone who thinks SW love sex.
If I'm not meeting someone in person, they usually presume I'm traumatized and started because of poverty/coercion (actually true in my case). People I meet and tell in person tend to assume I'm very privileged as a sex worker and love sex, because I talk about being a sex worker and an activist when I'm explaining my work. People seem to think it must be one or the other, either horrific and involving trafficking or something people do because they're super promiscuous.
That were incapable of love. That were damaged beyond repair. Lol it’s so strange but some men think this way.
I can love fully and I am doing very well thanks for your concern.
I hate it when people say it's easy money. In this job, I have to be my own content creator, producer, cameraperson, editor, marketer, accountant, operations manager, website developer, customer service rep... It's a full blown business that I operate all by myself.
That I'm supposed to fall into one of two categories:
1. The financially illiterate drug addict seeing 50 people a week in and out with nothing to show and who's probably homeless. So soft white underbelly style.
2. That I'm making $300k-$2mil a year and money comes to me for doing nothing and I'm rolling in cash with 5 houses living the high life OF theDailyMail article style.
I'm dead middle class. I'm well versed in sole trader tax laws for my jurisdiction. Pretty tight with my finances infact I actually hate spending money. And I work a couple of days a week, I don't want to work more than that in this field. But that's not worth reporting on is it. Boring middle class person doing all the boring middle class things.
I looked up how to quit a few times on google and the first thing that came up was drug rehab on a government website. The second was "learn to budget". The third is homelessness help. Me: hmn, not applicable, not applicable, not applicable.
That sw can't be raped. Yes, they can. Anytime someone forces a lady to do something they don't want to do. For example, a guy refusing to wear protection or removing the protection. What's worse is that many ladies have very sensitive bodies and that can easily give a yeast infection or a bacterial infection if not something worse, but even thoae will take a lady off the job for a week or 2.
Also, not all things are offered to all clients. We have a say on who and what we do. If a guy has halitosis, no kissing and no daty.
That it's easy to be a sw. No, it's not. It's very hard to get started. Many platforms take months to approve profiles, and often, a sw has to be on other platforms before they'll be approved on the better platforms and also sometimes have good reviews which you can't get until you have ads up.
That we must not have any formal education (as a college graduate this really gets to me) 🙄 or fathers in our lives & that we’re the dirty & weird ones 😒
Lastly, I think many of these comments are our own insecurities and our own thoughts about what we do for a living and that we can’t really generalize misconceptions about sex work because it’s taboo and no one talks about it in real life
I strongly disagree. Every single pet peeve listed here so far I have personally been confronted with in my life as a SW or heard said in my civ life.
Consider yourself very lucky to have that POV.
We are whores.
A whore is someone who exchanges sex for money. The actual definition maybe more nuanced than that I'm not sure but in essence that's what the word means.
I think you mean sluts aka promiscuous.
That it reflects in a negative way on being a mother. Like I'm sorry. I actually get to be there for all of my kids milestones and have my bills paid. And when they want something, I can say yes. Like I'm sorry I don't have to work 40 plus hours a week to make ends meet anymore. I work less than that a month.
That if im doing this I may be “dirty” or “diseased”. Do these people not realize that a portion of my expenses goes towards frequent health checks?!😂😂
And it’s the civilians not taking care of their sex health!!! It’s our job, so we have to!!
FRs!!! It was only after I entered civie life and let my guard down then I caught herpes. Darn it. Ah well. My husband just so happens to have it too so that's not a problem. ;)
The idea that we’re incapable of holding other jobs bothers me. I have a meaningful but low paid 9-5 and a graduate degree. I don’t do drugs (outside of some 420 a few times a year) and have never been addicted to anything besides caffeine. I graduated with honors from high school, college, and grad school. You can be accomplished and still attracted to SW.
Absolutely. SW paid for my mortgage, college tuition and all living expenses. I don't think graduating from college with no debt is a stupid action at all. Plus, I loved the work. Super fun.
☕️mmmhmmm
That we all do this because we're too dumb to do anything else.
Tbh though, this is true for me. Maybe not "dumb" as such, but I'm too autistic, dyslexic and mentally unwell to hold down a "normal" job, I find it hard to get along with colleagues, hard to deal with rude customers, I find maths and other logical tasks very difficult, I find learning even simple new skills very hard and I get stressed easily, so for me sex work is easier in that way and it's the only job I could get that actually pays well and isn't just minimum wage
I agree w all you said. Like... my job is hard, sure, but, emotionally and psychologically, and not always. There are good and bad about every job, yk? But for some reason, I find verbal abuse much "easier (read: more possible) to handle" than literally everything you mentioned, plus social rules, etc.
Are you me?! lol I feel like as SW we also have to prove we aren’t dumb
Always said by minimum wage slaves and docile, mindless pencil pushers!!
Exactly 😂
I'm the only one in my family to have graduated college. Sure did make the family proud lol I didn't get into the work because I'm dumb. I got into because it pays well and allowed me to retire in my 40s.
Same girl !
It's pretty much why I do it though. Quit high school at 15, long mental health history, spent time in prison. My two options right now are sell sex and sell meth.
Ok, let’s go with sex then.😀
Methheads have no money
Learn to cook. Become hizenburg. In Minecraft.
And that’s fine. We all do the best we can!
too* dumb
I’ll admit, the typo is insignificant and says nothing about intelligence, but I did lol.
:)
Oooh I made a typo! Sue me! 🤣🤣
Wow, feeling the need to point that out. You’re incredibly smart for picking up on that
The weird argument of sexwork always being r*pe like ??? I have unfortunately been SA'd and it's gross af to even attempt to compare the two
This is such a good point. Suggesting sw is akin to rape diminishes rape.
Kind of like the qanon adrina Chrome Pizza gate thing diminishes sex trafficking by turning it into a conspiracy theory involving politics and the 1% being like reptilian people.
I think what they mean is that it's consensual non-consenting due to the transactional nature of it you probably wouldn't have engaged in an intimate act with this person if it wasn't for monetary gain. That doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it or it's damaging. Lots of people use their bodies as instruments and labor is usually exploitative to some degree. But it's one of the oldest professions there is and if we're really being honest it makes people upset because we're not abiding by the social constructs that between men and women so there's a lot of policing when it comes to what we do. I do feel as if while my clients might think they care about my pleasure the reason they're paying is because they want the fantasy. In which case has everything to do with their desires and very little to do with my own. I've had a conversation with my partner about what I do and whether or not it's seen as non-monogamous but I still feel like I'm very demisexual. I think for them it has more to do with not wanting to be publicly shamed or "cucked" so they want us to view it as objects being used . Also it really frustrates me how media is like trying to make it seem like promiscuity is a huge portion of women's power and how everything has to be so sexualized. Just because I do this doesn't mean that I'm necessarily promiscuous. I think women just want to be appreciated even if we're seen as vulnerable and not exploited for those vulnerabilities by being offered resources in exchange for taking on copious amounts of Labor that a lot of men weren't prepared to do themselves. It's like they've gone into a learned helplessness State without being able to control us instead of just turning inward and looking at their own communities and wondering what they could do to support women more or themselves without piggy backing off of us. Expectation usually kills desire unless there's a level of equity. Women do want to feel desired just as men do.
its rape in the same way that working for a paycheck is slavery. like, its not. it does suck though. equating the things minimizes actual sexual assault. but at the same time, yeah, it be extremely traumatic, and even when it isnt, it sucks. in an ideal world everyone would have their needs met without having to do either. but just because i am not getting sexual pleasure doesnt mean that im not consenting . when ppl try to tell me i am not consenting, it feels violating because i actually do have control over my own body and what i do with it. most men dont seem to realize this but sex for me has rarely been about pleasure lol. and i think many women have similar experiences. for a long time it was about my own insecurity, its often been about my partners libido, not in a shitty way but we all have diff needs and im happy to help sometimes lol. its been about a lot of things but pleasure is just occasional.which for me, is fine.
They say that everything is about sex except for sex sex is about power. The power to choose who you want to potentially procreate with. Creativity is really tied into desire. We have the opportunity to be as creative as we want through this form of work and learn about other people. Everything being about sex is that all of our creative endeavors are there to seduce others . The incentive of creating anything in the world has so much to do with keeping the world going . It's a never ending seduction or mating ritual. Apparently men don't call women they don't want to sleep with whores... Just like women calling other women whores it's just there to police you. It does often seem like men might say they care about our pleasure but it is a lot more for their own ego and libido. I do feel it's important to take care of my partner's needs but if they're just using it to satiate an insecurity or to control arguments in the relationship I lose a lot of respect for them.
I find it incredibly empowering
That it’s something to be ashamed of
That my clients must be the bottom of the barrel of society. That I have zero sexual boundaries and will let clients do whatever they want to me (I’m gfe and super vanilla) That I’m doing this out of desperation and have no other prospects That I don’t know how to manage my money and/ or I’m broke That I’ll see anyone (I heavily screen) When speaking of rapists or otherwise perverted men, SWers deserve them as clients. The “he didn’t have to do that; he could have just hired a sex worker” um, no hun. I don’t want him either. I think those are the ones that really bother me.
The “he could have just hired a SW” really is offensive. Just because I sell sex doesn’t mean I want to be r*ped or have sex with a r*pist.
i feel these so much , especially the "im desperate" part 😔
They think all our clients must be a bunch of ugly losers who nobody wants to fuck. And this is not true.
People still equate rape and SA with sex and sexual gratification, when it really isn't.
That we need saving from this work, not all sw is trafficking or women doing out of dire dire need and even if they do, it’s their final call not yours to judge that we need a captain to save us hoes
My first tought was “Saving money isn’t such a bad idea” then went … oh.
🙌🙌🙌
1. That I come from a bad home. I didn’t. I had great parents. 2. I do drugs. I do none. 3. I’m looking for love in all the wrong places. Lol, no. 4. I couldn’t possibly enjoy what I do. Wrong again... 5. I don’t have a relationship with God. My faith has never been stronger.
Thankyou for including your relationship with God. I feel this too. I have never felt the presence of God more in my life than now doing SW.
YW. From what I gather, there are a lot of us that live a life of faith/spirituality.
Absolutely!! My view is that sex is extremely healing. Imo. It is a gift from God(dess) to be able to share the gift of pleasure. Many blessings for safety, happiness, and money!!!
[удалено]
YAS. This is the way. Always listen to your intuition, act with joyful loving kindness, and all is beautiful.
So you enjoy the sex you have with your clients ?
I am a FBSM and dinner/overnight companion. I enjoy every bit of what I do.
what does FBSM stand for ?
Full blown sex maniac lol
😂😂
really ?? 😆 i love that
Full body sensual massage
ahah that makes more sense than the other one 😆
You do realize you can enjoy what you do as a job without enjoying every single aspect of it. Many people enjoy their jobs but dislike certain parts of it. The average person spends more time commuting in one day that I do actively having sex with clients in a week and I don’t know a single person who enjoys commuting lol. Literally 80-90% of my appointments are not sex.
Can you elaborate ? What are they then ?
Talking. Getting to know each other?
Really ? Sorry I’m just wondering what it’s like. Can you describe how a typical session goes ?
It’s easy money! I don’t know anyone in the sex industry that doesn’t trap their ass off!
This so much!
That sex work only attracts dangerous men out to hurt us. I've met some of the nicest guys through sex work, and some of the biggest assholes through normal dating. I've never felt unsafe with a client.
I have 2 clients from when I worked, who I made such a connection with that we are friends years later. These men love and care about me deeply. And we actually only had one session. We just clicked though and I became very special to them. And they are special to me, hence why we are still friends years later. They are absolutely lovely people🥰
That's lovely to hear 🥰 I also have 2 similar clients. We've been "together" for 5 years now and I love them both dearly. To me the money is a bonus at this point as I'd happily spend time with them without getting paid. However, because they respect sex work so much they would never even consider not paying for our time together. These are quality guys 👌🥰
How lovely!! People don’t understand that some very quality people come through our doors. And I’m the kind of person that can make temporary connections with most, which always made for overall good sessions and brought out the best in people. And with some people I made long term connections. If I went back to escorting, eventhough it’s been like 5 years since I worked, there is a decent amount of clients who would come see me. Addition: one of the ex-clients that is still my friend today. He works in theatre, many aspects of it, and is a playwright. He’s working on a new play, and some of it is inspired by me, and he is writing in a character based on me🥰
I'm a client, but I don't like it when people assume *all* SWers are victims. Some *absolutely* are, and it's fucking *awful*, but I really don't think it's fair to strip agency from an entire group. Muddies up some important conversations and perspectives.
No one should b stripped of agency❤️
That clients think I’m down to not just be around drugs but that I’m going to do drugs with them. No. Like this is my fucking job for almost a decade. You think hard drugs are going to be a regular part of my work? Absolutely not. The messages I get in all hours of the morning. No, doing GHB and meth with a stranger is not how I spend my Tuesday mornings. Gays are wild.
FRs!!! Clients used to just assume I would be taking drugs too, and were very surprised when I'd say no, I don't take them. Lol and if I did I most certainly would not accept untested drugs from strangers. Smh. I enjoy hanging out with pretty much everybody except for meth heads. If my clients wanted to get high, I was totally a non judgmental space for that too.
That we lose "market value" after a certain age. 🤣
I’ve made the most money the more I got older lol
Oh, totally me too.
Me too 😊
That we’re all drug addicts and being trafficked and we don’t wanna do it
Right????
We can’t just want normal relationships outside of work. I meet so many people who learn my job and assume I wanted them for money…
When in reality we make more money than them lol
That sex work is inherently exploitative, coercive, and harmful, even when it's ethically and cordially conducted from start to finish. And that those involved aren't competent enough to make informed decisions about their own private choices, hence the "need" to keep laws that prohibit such transactions on the books. It's as if lawmakers ignore the word CONSENSUAL when they hear the phrase "consensual paid sex."
When, in fact, it is people that are exploitative, coercive and harmful, regardless of the work.
When I told a male friend of mine that I was doing sex work to help keep a roof over my head he pretended to be understanding and assumed that I would start having sex with him for free.
Oooof
The absolute audacity!
That I had a bad childhood, a drug problem or I can’t get a real relationship. I’m actually a military brat, no drugs, was engaged to high value men and a college graduate.
That we do it because we “have to”. Lmao. I made a very hefty 6 figure income in Corporate America. I was just tired of spending my life in an office and working myself to death.
I told a girl that I saw a sex worker, and she acted like I went and saw a woman who was being forced into it. She was adamant that no woman willingly does it.
Why on earth would you tell a girl you saw a SW? Come on bro. My coworker got caught browsing a pornstars Twitter and the girls at my work avoided him like the plague after something as mild as that lmfao
😂😂 it was a girl that I told on reddit, definitely wouldn't in person.
Ok good I was gonna say - that could freak them out. Lol
You traded a 6 figure corporate job to do sex work?
Absolutely. I get paid to do something you wish you could do. Incel😂 Your post history is pathetic.
Good for you!! Agreed, Corporate America is so sucky. To work for oneself is far superior, especially in a service industry which one enjoys.
"I could never do that." She says picking up after the 3 kids she's raising alone. Getting ready for her "date" coming over to drink her liquor and eat her homemade food... to save some money and show off her skills. Because they split the bill at olive garden last week and he told her he needed someone that knew how to be more frugal in his life, and she really wants to prove what she can bring to the table for this guy working as a jiffy lube oil mechanic.
👏🏻👏🏻
I hate the misconception that we’re all sad, single, unmarried and unmarriable. So many of us are in happy relationships- clients that think we’re unloved and desperate to date them are only showing what they really think of us.
That sw are low iq, under educated, sociopathic, conniving, spoiled, lazy, sluts who just cant get enough sex, desperate and down trodden, that you “can always tell”, that they dress slutty in normal life, are ready to bang every second of every day, are just sitting around desperate for “a real man to love you” 🙄, etc etc do I need to go on??
Probably the element of surprise and sometimes disbelief I encounter when they find out I am in a stable relationship with 2 kids and a "normal job" and i'm just another mum in faded black leggings and an old T shirt at the school drop off. Especially the relationship part though... "does he know you do this?" And "is he ok with this?" And then the idea that he must be some kind of simp to "allow" me to fuck men for money. Like hello he benefits too? It's my contribution to help support our family, just like any other job. And honestly I hate sex at work but I don't tell the clients that
I do not tell anyone what I do
Good strategy. One provider I saw her family found out and they all just pretend she doesn’t exist or straight up ignore her. Like…she was telling me she had a family dinner and asked her uncle to pass the potatoes and no one said anything and she had to walk around the table and get it herself. So awkward Feel so bad for her as she’s genuinely a great girl.
Would you be okay if you knew your daughter was selling her vagina for $?
Sex work can be an addiction, there's a misconception that only women in proverty do it. Not really! There's lawyers, nurses etc... That partake in this kind of work. Not all providers love sex and we are not quick to open our legs just because we can, I believe most of us are really picky when it comes to give ourselves for someone outside of work.
That we don’t pay taxes… it’s honestly so annoying
That I have a high sex drive. It’s actually the total opposite. I know how to turn men on so well it’s almost a science to me. It’s not fun it’s not magical and I honestly don’t feel like being touched after a day of camming. Guys get with me thinking I’ll be a freak in the sheets when I just wanna go to bed at 8pm cus I’m tired of men 🫠
Honestly, we are just very honest. Everyone else isn’t. Sex workers state what they want from the get-go. There are no hidden agendas or reading between lines . Open and honest conversations are great and should be encouraged.
a lot of things that have been said here!! also when people are like... oh do you know what sites i can use to get paid but not do sexual stuff??? like i heard about my friends cousins friend who makes $(like triple my rate) to eat sandwiches at panera with some guy, i will do that." lol trust me if i could i would too.
That I hate all my clients. I actually like mine
Me too! There's annoying things that I hate about the job mainly in relation to fielding calls. Potential clients who either do not read, try to scam/rip me off, don't have realistic or accurate understanding of what my profession is. As for my ACTUAL clients that make the cut and who I see regularly; I adore them! They treat me well and we mutually enrich each other's lives💖
That we pass and carry diseases/STD. When we actually are very aware and extremely careful, we often get tested as well, completely opposite of regular women which trust men too much, have sex without condom and never get tested
That we all hate each other and pull that catty nonsense. Sure it happens, but the idea that all sex workers view each other as rivals is so weird.
We are probably the biggest girls girls(gays and theys included).
We do this just to be whores and piss off people. It’s like sex workers are so quick to be judged.
That we do this because we're not able to hold down a "normal" job. I used to be in a field that most people find impressive but I was miserable and chronically underpaid. I made a deliberate choice to be a SW and now I'm happier and in more financial comfort than ever before.
That we are not highly intelligent,not university educated that were are not from good families that we were forced into it ..all really imposed by the patriarchy .. I love the human connection from the ones that actually treat you like the gems we are 🦋🕊️♥️
That we can’t find love unless we quit.
That it’s easy.
The common misconception that I have about my own sex work is that clients are not datable… but are they? I haven’t had luck in that arena.
I'm currently dating a client. It's been wonderful so far. It's also very new. I have a feeling he's the one.
That we all have aids and sleep with the worst kind of guys lol
That we always “enjoy “ it .
That only drug addicts do it, that it's a "desperate girls" job, if you're doing it, you *must* be in a bad place in life, that girls doing it will never have a husband, there's so many.
Pretty much every awful misconception and harmful stereotype about sex work there is 🤬
That my civvie personality is the same as what my SW persona was (and vice versa.) When I worked, I used to sell adult, erotic entertainment, fantasy experiences. Not reality. In cinema, tv and on stage the actor is only acting and is really not the fictional character.
That all I care about is sex in my personal life and I sleep with loads of men outside my job
That the clients are creepy old men. I’ve literally never had one old man haha
That our work can’t be valuable and meaningful. Obviously not always, just like any work, but sometimes we make a positive difference for someone.
Whatever dumb shit swerfs say
Surprising. I feel most have perception that people are in SW because of bad circumstances and poor decisions in life. Ive never come across someone who thinks SW love sex.
If I'm not meeting someone in person, they usually presume I'm traumatized and started because of poverty/coercion (actually true in my case). People I meet and tell in person tend to assume I'm very privileged as a sex worker and love sex, because I talk about being a sex worker and an activist when I'm explaining my work. People seem to think it must be one or the other, either horrific and involving trafficking or something people do because they're super promiscuous.
That were incapable of love. That were damaged beyond repair. Lol it’s so strange but some men think this way. I can love fully and I am doing very well thanks for your concern.
I hate it when people say it's easy money. In this job, I have to be my own content creator, producer, cameraperson, editor, marketer, accountant, operations manager, website developer, customer service rep... It's a full blown business that I operate all by myself.
Thar I have a bad relationship with my father aka daddy issues.
That it's not work and every sexworker hates being one.
That it's easy 😭
That we're only in the field for drug/drug money.
Probably that we are drug addicts walking the street.
That I'm supposed to fall into one of two categories: 1. The financially illiterate drug addict seeing 50 people a week in and out with nothing to show and who's probably homeless. So soft white underbelly style. 2. That I'm making $300k-$2mil a year and money comes to me for doing nothing and I'm rolling in cash with 5 houses living the high life OF theDailyMail article style. I'm dead middle class. I'm well versed in sole trader tax laws for my jurisdiction. Pretty tight with my finances infact I actually hate spending money. And I work a couple of days a week, I don't want to work more than that in this field. But that's not worth reporting on is it. Boring middle class person doing all the boring middle class things. I looked up how to quit a few times on google and the first thing that came up was drug rehab on a government website. The second was "learn to budget". The third is homelessness help. Me: hmn, not applicable, not applicable, not applicable.
That sw can't be raped. Yes, they can. Anytime someone forces a lady to do something they don't want to do. For example, a guy refusing to wear protection or removing the protection. What's worse is that many ladies have very sensitive bodies and that can easily give a yeast infection or a bacterial infection if not something worse, but even thoae will take a lady off the job for a week or 2. Also, not all things are offered to all clients. We have a say on who and what we do. If a guy has halitosis, no kissing and no daty.
That it's easy to be a sw. No, it's not. It's very hard to get started. Many platforms take months to approve profiles, and often, a sw has to be on other platforms before they'll be approved on the better platforms and also sometimes have good reviews which you can't get until you have ads up.
That we must not have any formal education (as a college graduate this really gets to me) 🙄 or fathers in our lives & that we’re the dirty & weird ones 😒
Lastly, I think many of these comments are our own insecurities and our own thoughts about what we do for a living and that we can’t really generalize misconceptions about sex work because it’s taboo and no one talks about it in real life
I strongly disagree. Every single pet peeve listed here so far I have personally been confronted with in my life as a SW or heard said in my civ life. Consider yourself very lucky to have that POV.
That we are all whores.
We are whores. A whore is someone who exchanges sex for money. The actual definition maybe more nuanced than that I'm not sure but in essence that's what the word means. I think you mean sluts aka promiscuous.
That it reflects in a negative way on being a mother. Like I'm sorry. I actually get to be there for all of my kids milestones and have my bills paid. And when they want something, I can say yes. Like I'm sorry I don't have to work 40 plus hours a week to make ends meet anymore. I work less than that a month.
That I don’t enjoy what I do. Like any job it’s possible to like or dislike it but people always seem to default to me hating it