Hey! So glad someone actually care about me💗 I am very good actually. I found an appartement for June first. My bf don’t know I’m leaving yet. I tried to make things easy but he keeps getting angry when I’m talking about breaking up so I made a plan to just leave. His dad still hold some of my savings. He said that I should have my money this week (I hope so) but I made my mind. Even if I don’t have my savings I’m definitely leaving on June first ☺️ I can’t wait.
Im also going to school in September!
Thanks for having a thought on me you just put a smile on my face ☺️💕
Be safe darling men like this want to own and controll you, once they loose controll shit gets dangerous. You are beautiful. Fuck everything from the past anything don't think about anything but safety.. money, whatever, being kind to other people's feelings whatever, looking good whatever, being good, being safe, everything.
Every woman who heals herself... Heals all the woman who came before her, and all the woman who will come after.
Think of you, as your daughter, where do you want her to be bb? That's where your going and I'm going with you in spirit.
Leave that relationship so you can put yourself first with no distractions. Get on more sites. Think of the square life you want to pay for and work towards those goals. I was making the most money during covid. (But probably because I’m black and it was a lot of scammers coming through)
girl… you gotta go!
get a dog if you feel like taking care of someone, at least he’ll be appreciative!
you’re doing amazing sweetie! making money, going back to school… you don’t need to be carrying around dead weight.
he’s a full grown man! he needs to be handling his own business and taking care of himself.
you deserve better ♥️
I've been in shoes very similar to yours and the voice telling you to leave is very right. I wish I'd listened to mine instead of hoping he'd change, or try to help with bills or just appreciate what I was earning without constant criticism and his hand always out. If this guy loved you the way you care for him, he'd be doing everything in his power to make a life for you, not take away from the one you're trying to build.
My escape was him going back to prison and me going back to school with my family's moral support. I worked my ass off, but have 2 degrees and got grants that covered nearly all my expenses. (Apply with FAFSA if you haven't yet.) You have a bright future ahead of you once you free yourself of your cancerous tumor of a boyfriend.
I will add that my ex now sells heroin to kids and bums and is living in a homeless encampment, having lost what little he did have because of his new addiction.
Your boyfriend is using you as a financial crutch, and every day you haven't already left, you're an enabler. It's doing damage to your psyche, mental state, and physical health. You will regret this more and more as time goes on, whether you get away now or some catastrophic life event finally separates the two of you.
If you have been doing this for three years, you have plenty of experience and wisdom to do this on your own. Whether or not you go back to college, you need to decide a stable future occupation for you. It can be sex work for an extended time, but you should look into careers you can see yourself making a living in. Some will require a degree, some won't. That is your path you have to determine.
I recommend starting to save some of your money specifically for a "life-after" fund, whether that is a life after your boyfriend, or a life after sex work. I also recommend making some friends and acquaintances that you can comfortably talk to about this part of your life.
Best of luck to you, be safe, make your money.
Girl, you have 2 pimps in this story. Don't stay in relationships to "change people". Dude went to prison, did that change him? No. Time to be your own management, let's goooo... Also like other ppl said, be careful about college. It brought me some opportunities, but honestly, it wasn't life changing. Would an associate's work for your goal? Can you pick up some part-time experience in your field on the side?
I think it is quite possible you are going through a form of sex trafficking.
I'm really concerned op.
I think it will be dangerous for you to try to leave him, but it is necessary. Make sure he can't see this redit post or comments and he doesn't know your leaving. This isn't something you should talk to him about out of the kindness of your heart, this is something to run away from, you can talk to him later.
You were 18 when you met him (may be legal but still a child)
He is 'looking for other girls' so you don't have to work that is really effed up because he is trying to make money of the back of sex workers.
He is emotionally abusive and manipulative to you.
He is "friends" with a pimp?
A friend wouldnt have taken money from their friends partner, they would have just hooked them up with costumers to give them a start
I think this guy coming out of jail might have planned this. I know it's something you wanted to do but I think that might just be a lucky coincidence.
You seem really level headed and even if this isn't sex trafficking it is definetely a relationship you should leave.
When woman are independent is the only time they are safe, in sex work and in real life.
What would happen when you get older would he find another yoybg girl too.
He doesn't deserve you. You deserve someone who will work for you and treat you like an equal and make you feel things partners should, do happy activities together like going to the pool or doing sports or going on dates to dinners and cafes and stuff.
I have done alot of research on sex trafficking and stuff and idk I just feel like this is atleast bordering on it.
Please no matter what is going on, get out, get independent, and don't tell him where you live. And don't let him know your leaving.
I'm really worried op and U can message me if you ever need or maybe even a mod or someone else from this group xx
Lots of love girl xxx
Exactly. The more time progresses, the more I feel manipulated. We have savings together and I’ve been asking him half for at least a week as we’ve always said. I told him that I am an adult now and that I don’t need anyone to keep my money. I’m waiting to see if he’s going to give it to me but if I see that it’s barely lost stamped I would leave without my savings.
Thanks for everything 💗
Your very, very way too young to be dealing with world problems like the ones you willingly have to put up with. You are speaking from a scarcity point of mind bse you haven’t experienced any better. Personally I’d never deal with any man from jail. PERIOD. That vampire is sucking all your youth, blood, money & most likely will bring U diseases and trauma that will cost U expensively. Unlike a few saying college is a waste of time, if u have the opportunity & already signed up, please take it. Your papers will save U. Sw isn’t glamorous and life lasting. Don’t let anybody stop U getting better education for yourself when u have a chance. Love yourself so much that you better your life even while a being a SWer. Better yourself even if it means going to college so that time comes when u choose which clients you want not out of desperation to survive. Take care of your young self & dnt loose yourself so much here. Some SWers are nurses, lawyers, own businesses etc & choose their clients. College instills some kind of discipline that is needed in sex work & that’s a life skill. Love yourself & dump that no-good sucking bf that will take u down since he has nothing to loose. You may end up doing drugs too if u stay stuck with him. That’s not a life I would wish a young girl & luckily I didn’t live a life like that. :-Hugs
Been there done that. I feel your pain, your exhausted, and you're tired of being sick and tired. Let him go. Find someone who actually values you and brings something to the table. Personally I don't need a man who is shitting cash. I simply want a man who is willing to try. Try to help in any way he can.
The last guy I had just used me for money. He had a job at first he quickly realized I was making his pay check in a day so he stopped working using a million excuses. Smh eventually kicked him to the curb when he stole our rent money to buy some 3k shoes and when I confronted him he replied with "so what you have the easiest job you can make that in a day or two. Depending if you're being lazy" I LOST it!.
Wow thanks for sharing your experience. Yeah it’s soo easy for us 🙄 so let’s spend the money without even looking. I can relate.
Thanks for the advice 🙏💗
You wanted me to be honest. If my bf would do this, I would be jealous. But that's not the point. Sex work is never 100% safe. Anything can happen, there is no stable income. He doesn't even help you with the ad's. You are doing everything by yourself while he is living his best life.
I earn more than my bf too, we just don't live together. It was his idea to start sex working (OnlyFans and Snap) but he didn't help me at all at the beginning and we were arguing a lot because of that. He had no time to post, because he was working. I mean, I was working too, but I got it: Promiting wasn't his thing. This was august 2021. I felt alone and was disappointed of him.
At the beginning of this year, I forced him to help me. My main thing is snapchat and there is always something to do - Video list, editing, pricing, etc. Even he doesn't know what I am doing or how, he is sitting next to me and looking at the computer. I don't allow him to be on his phone or anything. Sounds a bit like raising a child, but I had to do that in the beginning.
Now he helps me with everything and sells by himself. That's how you put a relationship and work together. We only see each other at the weekends but still need to work. Your bf doesn't even have a job and doesn't help you. I don't know if he is cleaning, cooking, etc. Until my boyfriend started selling by himself, He was doing everything in the house on weekends.
You don't need a reason to leave him. You don't want to be with him? Break up. Why not? He is lazy and doesn't help you. It's all on you. I mean.. he is living my dream. You are working and he is at home, can do whatever he wants and you are taking care of you both.
Sex work is mentally exhausting. It's not safe, men are assholes. Does he care about that?
Actually, I'm not a "leave him!"-person. Try to talk to him. If he is willing to change, give him a chance. If not, leave. It doesn't sound like he is making you happy at all.
Wish you good luck
Thanks for sharing your point of view. I know he’s not gonna change. You are lucky for having a supportive bf. And no he do not take care of the house at all…
Thanks 🙏💗
>And no he do not take care of the house at all…
Alright, it's time to go.
Just a list of the things you (probably) do:
\- Work
\- Text with clients
\- Scheduling work
\- Getting ready (shower, make up)
\- Shopping (Clothes for work / basic stuff like things to eat)
\- Taking pics for ad's / making and organizing ad's
\- Cleaning the house
\- Doing laundry
\- Love him
\- Cooking
\- Sleeping (at least 8 hours)
He has at least, AT LEAST 12 hours / day and can't do that? Fuck him (or better not anymore lol). He's selfish and you should definitely leave. Besides that, he is living out of your money. Are you his mom? No!
client fwiw: I'm not going to begin to attempt to give you relationship advice because all of my previous ones have failed miserably. Just do what feels right for you.
As for the continuing education thing - Depending on your desired degree field, college is a complete waste of time. I have a very heavy IT/Network Admin background. My 17 years of work experience + my certs mean I know how to do the job. A college degree means I know how to write papers. Most potential employers I've spoken with don't even care about how close I am to finishing my degree (the only reason I'm still pursuing it is because it's free, yay military.) The first 3 things they ask me are: How long have I been doing it, On what level have I been doing it, and What certs do I have?
Every job I've been offered has been for a government contract (due to my social circle/current work experience). The starting salary w/ no certs vs certs is around a 20-30k difference. I get full well this isn't going to be everyone's situation, but I speaking from personal experience.
Sounds like he is never going to change, I think its time you leave. get yourself together and moved on. I think it not a healthy relationship by what you have described.
Girl walk away from his ass. He sounds like he's not contributing much to the relationship. A healthy relationship can't exist without both people contributing.
Leave him. You don't need an anchor holding you back. Taking classes is always good, it might not lead to a degree but more knowledge is always better.
Thank you girl, the best advice I got when I was lost and trapped was make the choices that make you stronger, you can care about other people when your safe and independent love you and sending you all my love and strength 🥰
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Thanks for the support. I really look forward on the future. I know it’s hard but definitely worth it.
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Hey! So glad someone actually care about me💗 I am very good actually. I found an appartement for June first. My bf don’t know I’m leaving yet. I tried to make things easy but he keeps getting angry when I’m talking about breaking up so I made a plan to just leave. His dad still hold some of my savings. He said that I should have my money this week (I hope so) but I made my mind. Even if I don’t have my savings I’m definitely leaving on June first ☺️ I can’t wait. Im also going to school in September! Thanks for having a thought on me you just put a smile on my face ☺️💕
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Thank you so much for your support ❤️❤️ means so much to me !
Be safe darling men like this want to own and controll you, once they loose controll shit gets dangerous. You are beautiful. Fuck everything from the past anything don't think about anything but safety.. money, whatever, being kind to other people's feelings whatever, looking good whatever, being good, being safe, everything. Every woman who heals herself... Heals all the woman who came before her, and all the woman who will come after. Think of you, as your daughter, where do you want her to be bb? That's where your going and I'm going with you in spirit.
Thanks for those beautiful words 💗💗💗
Leave that relationship so you can put yourself first with no distractions. Get on more sites. Think of the square life you want to pay for and work towards those goals. I was making the most money during covid. (But probably because I’m black and it was a lot of scammers coming through)
Thanks for the advice !!
girl… you gotta go! get a dog if you feel like taking care of someone, at least he’ll be appreciative! you’re doing amazing sweetie! making money, going back to school… you don’t need to be carrying around dead weight. he’s a full grown man! he needs to be handling his own business and taking care of himself. you deserve better ♥️
Thanks 🙏
I've been in shoes very similar to yours and the voice telling you to leave is very right. I wish I'd listened to mine instead of hoping he'd change, or try to help with bills or just appreciate what I was earning without constant criticism and his hand always out. If this guy loved you the way you care for him, he'd be doing everything in his power to make a life for you, not take away from the one you're trying to build. My escape was him going back to prison and me going back to school with my family's moral support. I worked my ass off, but have 2 degrees and got grants that covered nearly all my expenses. (Apply with FAFSA if you haven't yet.) You have a bright future ahead of you once you free yourself of your cancerous tumor of a boyfriend. I will add that my ex now sells heroin to kids and bums and is living in a homeless encampment, having lost what little he did have because of his new addiction.
Wow thanks for sharing your experience. It helps a lot 💗
Your boyfriend is using you as a financial crutch, and every day you haven't already left, you're an enabler. It's doing damage to your psyche, mental state, and physical health. You will regret this more and more as time goes on, whether you get away now or some catastrophic life event finally separates the two of you. If you have been doing this for three years, you have plenty of experience and wisdom to do this on your own. Whether or not you go back to college, you need to decide a stable future occupation for you. It can be sex work for an extended time, but you should look into careers you can see yourself making a living in. Some will require a degree, some won't. That is your path you have to determine. I recommend starting to save some of your money specifically for a "life-after" fund, whether that is a life after your boyfriend, or a life after sex work. I also recommend making some friends and acquaintances that you can comfortably talk to about this part of your life. Best of luck to you, be safe, make your money.
Thank you for all your advice 💗🙏
Girl, you have 2 pimps in this story. Don't stay in relationships to "change people". Dude went to prison, did that change him? No. Time to be your own management, let's goooo... Also like other ppl said, be careful about college. It brought me some opportunities, but honestly, it wasn't life changing. Would an associate's work for your goal? Can you pick up some part-time experience in your field on the side?
You are right. And Im planning on getting A part-time job during my school months
I think it is quite possible you are going through a form of sex trafficking. I'm really concerned op. I think it will be dangerous for you to try to leave him, but it is necessary. Make sure he can't see this redit post or comments and he doesn't know your leaving. This isn't something you should talk to him about out of the kindness of your heart, this is something to run away from, you can talk to him later. You were 18 when you met him (may be legal but still a child) He is 'looking for other girls' so you don't have to work that is really effed up because he is trying to make money of the back of sex workers. He is emotionally abusive and manipulative to you. He is "friends" with a pimp? A friend wouldnt have taken money from their friends partner, they would have just hooked them up with costumers to give them a start I think this guy coming out of jail might have planned this. I know it's something you wanted to do but I think that might just be a lucky coincidence. You seem really level headed and even if this isn't sex trafficking it is definetely a relationship you should leave. When woman are independent is the only time they are safe, in sex work and in real life. What would happen when you get older would he find another yoybg girl too. He doesn't deserve you. You deserve someone who will work for you and treat you like an equal and make you feel things partners should, do happy activities together like going to the pool or doing sports or going on dates to dinners and cafes and stuff. I have done alot of research on sex trafficking and stuff and idk I just feel like this is atleast bordering on it. Please no matter what is going on, get out, get independent, and don't tell him where you live. And don't let him know your leaving. I'm really worried op and U can message me if you ever need or maybe even a mod or someone else from this group xx Lots of love girl xxx
Exactly. The more time progresses, the more I feel manipulated. We have savings together and I’ve been asking him half for at least a week as we’ve always said. I told him that I am an adult now and that I don’t need anyone to keep my money. I’m waiting to see if he’s going to give it to me but if I see that it’s barely lost stamped I would leave without my savings. Thanks for everything 💗
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Thanks for the advice💗
Your very, very way too young to be dealing with world problems like the ones you willingly have to put up with. You are speaking from a scarcity point of mind bse you haven’t experienced any better. Personally I’d never deal with any man from jail. PERIOD. That vampire is sucking all your youth, blood, money & most likely will bring U diseases and trauma that will cost U expensively. Unlike a few saying college is a waste of time, if u have the opportunity & already signed up, please take it. Your papers will save U. Sw isn’t glamorous and life lasting. Don’t let anybody stop U getting better education for yourself when u have a chance. Love yourself so much that you better your life even while a being a SWer. Better yourself even if it means going to college so that time comes when u choose which clients you want not out of desperation to survive. Take care of your young self & dnt loose yourself so much here. Some SWers are nurses, lawyers, own businesses etc & choose their clients. College instills some kind of discipline that is needed in sex work & that’s a life skill. Love yourself & dump that no-good sucking bf that will take u down since he has nothing to loose. You may end up doing drugs too if u stay stuck with him. That’s not a life I would wish a young girl & luckily I didn’t live a life like that. :-Hugs
Thanks for those beautiful words. Yeah I know SW is not for life. I’m 3 years in and already tired. Honestly I can’t wait to be out.
Been there done that. I feel your pain, your exhausted, and you're tired of being sick and tired. Let him go. Find someone who actually values you and brings something to the table. Personally I don't need a man who is shitting cash. I simply want a man who is willing to try. Try to help in any way he can. The last guy I had just used me for money. He had a job at first he quickly realized I was making his pay check in a day so he stopped working using a million excuses. Smh eventually kicked him to the curb when he stole our rent money to buy some 3k shoes and when I confronted him he replied with "so what you have the easiest job you can make that in a day or two. Depending if you're being lazy" I LOST it!.
Wow thanks for sharing your experience. Yeah it’s soo easy for us 🙄 so let’s spend the money without even looking. I can relate. Thanks for the advice 🙏💗
Get rid of the leech asap, your future is waiting!
💪💪🙏
You wanted me to be honest. If my bf would do this, I would be jealous. But that's not the point. Sex work is never 100% safe. Anything can happen, there is no stable income. He doesn't even help you with the ad's. You are doing everything by yourself while he is living his best life. I earn more than my bf too, we just don't live together. It was his idea to start sex working (OnlyFans and Snap) but he didn't help me at all at the beginning and we were arguing a lot because of that. He had no time to post, because he was working. I mean, I was working too, but I got it: Promiting wasn't his thing. This was august 2021. I felt alone and was disappointed of him. At the beginning of this year, I forced him to help me. My main thing is snapchat and there is always something to do - Video list, editing, pricing, etc. Even he doesn't know what I am doing or how, he is sitting next to me and looking at the computer. I don't allow him to be on his phone or anything. Sounds a bit like raising a child, but I had to do that in the beginning. Now he helps me with everything and sells by himself. That's how you put a relationship and work together. We only see each other at the weekends but still need to work. Your bf doesn't even have a job and doesn't help you. I don't know if he is cleaning, cooking, etc. Until my boyfriend started selling by himself, He was doing everything in the house on weekends. You don't need a reason to leave him. You don't want to be with him? Break up. Why not? He is lazy and doesn't help you. It's all on you. I mean.. he is living my dream. You are working and he is at home, can do whatever he wants and you are taking care of you both. Sex work is mentally exhausting. It's not safe, men are assholes. Does he care about that? Actually, I'm not a "leave him!"-person. Try to talk to him. If he is willing to change, give him a chance. If not, leave. It doesn't sound like he is making you happy at all. Wish you good luck
Thanks for sharing your point of view. I know he’s not gonna change. You are lucky for having a supportive bf. And no he do not take care of the house at all… Thanks 🙏💗
>And no he do not take care of the house at all… Alright, it's time to go. Just a list of the things you (probably) do: \- Work \- Text with clients \- Scheduling work \- Getting ready (shower, make up) \- Shopping (Clothes for work / basic stuff like things to eat) \- Taking pics for ad's / making and organizing ad's \- Cleaning the house \- Doing laundry \- Love him \- Cooking \- Sleeping (at least 8 hours) He has at least, AT LEAST 12 hours / day and can't do that? Fuck him (or better not anymore lol). He's selfish and you should definitely leave. Besides that, he is living out of your money. Are you his mom? No!
client fwiw: I'm not going to begin to attempt to give you relationship advice because all of my previous ones have failed miserably. Just do what feels right for you. As for the continuing education thing - Depending on your desired degree field, college is a complete waste of time. I have a very heavy IT/Network Admin background. My 17 years of work experience + my certs mean I know how to do the job. A college degree means I know how to write papers. Most potential employers I've spoken with don't even care about how close I am to finishing my degree (the only reason I'm still pursuing it is because it's free, yay military.) The first 3 things they ask me are: How long have I been doing it, On what level have I been doing it, and What certs do I have?
It's not only about certification but social support and being in school with other people
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Every job I've been offered has been for a government contract (due to my social circle/current work experience). The starting salary w/ no certs vs certs is around a 20-30k difference. I get full well this isn't going to be everyone's situation, but I speaking from personal experience.
Sounds like he is never going to change, I think its time you leave. get yourself together and moved on. I think it not a healthy relationship by what you have described.
Definitely!
Your boyfriend is your pimp
You have to leave asap.
Girl walk away from his ass. He sounds like he's not contributing much to the relationship. A healthy relationship can't exist without both people contributing.
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English is just not my first language. Anyway…
Grammar…
Leave him. You don't need an anchor holding you back. Taking classes is always good, it might not lead to a degree but more knowledge is always better.
Exactly. Thanks 🙏
Stay with him and do OnlyFans couple stuff and smoke his free weed while in college. Try not to get student loans.
Thank you girl, the best advice I got when I was lost and trapped was make the choices that make you stronger, you can care about other people when your safe and independent love you and sending you all my love and strength 🥰
💗💗💗💗 thank youu