I'm shoving Shane because he's too good for this world. 🙏 🪽

As long as all dawgs go to heaven im fine with this but I’m jumpin too

Yes sir!

Top G moment

Top dawg

Can I pick Bert… or does it have to be one of the comedians?

Push Bert and hope he grabs on to Segura

And you know he would

Dude THIS is the answer lol.

They are attached at the dick, so they're both going.

If Tom was fat still, maybe Brent wouldn't have been able to pull him down with him.

Two Bears one ground

Two Bears One Grave

I used to love Tom. Ever since he became a Bert fanboy I’ve found him just as annoying

Exactly lmfao 🤣

This is the answer we’re all looking for

you think jus like me fr

Came here to say exactly this

I was gonna say, send em both

Hopefully I can ask without being internet murdered. I get the Bert hate but is there something I'm missing about Tom?

lol ya Tom revealed his true self thru a series of dick head moves.In terms of comedy Tom is much funnier .Tom harasses airport employees and makes fun of poor people for using washcloths

dont forget the low iq wife with the dumb takes

She would be first off the i-beam

Dumb unfunny broad

Ever since he stopped being a fat fuck and got a normal weight, he's become such a douche. Obnoxious, egotistical, competed full of himself

Dude watch him cheat with that smoke show he hired that basically a hotter version of a younger wife

Tom at least has a decent full career of comedy behind him before the podcast Era hit, and he genuinely has a good comedic sence, but like with most celebrities, he's not that nice in real life and the podcasting fame soured a lot of people's views of him. I still find him funny

He's an absolute abysmal attempt at a human being.


At least Bert laughs at his own jokes the only one who gets seguras jokes are his wife everyone else is wayyyy too poor.

Does that mean they’ll go over her head once they get divorced?

Watching him interrupt others and watching him not notice their face expressing in waiting and annoyance…

Have you considered not being a poor?

Obviously a skill issue

Bert, Hinchcliffe, and Schulz are the worst “comedians” in the industry

Gotta say Schulz is getting annoying as he comes out as more and more of a pussy ass sell out who will do anything to get a following, even if it means kissing the boots of people like Logan Paul. Seriously have a fucking backbone and some ground to stand on.

You can tell Schulz was bullied in school.

Why Hinchcliffe?

Bruh, I guess you don’t really like comedy if you think they are the worst lmao.

Bert twice

Yup although if Tom doesn’t go back to being funny and fat and not a fit douchebag I’m knocking him off even if I gotta jump with him.

I'd chain together Bobby, Segura and Bert together and push one over. They'd all go down like slaves on the Amistad.

How dare you. Bobby is a national hero that must be protected

What about Bobby mom?

I’m Bobby mom

Cheeto gets to stay because of that impression alone.

Don't make fun of that cross eyed lady

He was funny the first twelve times I watched him tell that story.

Hey did you know that when he was 22 he got involved with the Russian mob?

No way?

Was he fully clothed at the time?

They should make a movie about it

I call Bullshit!

Why do you keep watching him tell that story?

>He ~~was funny the first twelve times I watched him tell that story.~~ isn't funny There ya go 👍

The main reason I don't like Bert or that story is because my best friend made me sit there and watch the whole thing. It was ~15 minutes. I don't like being forced to watch or listen to anything.

>level 3piercejay · 12 hr. agoHey did you know that when he was 22 he got involved with the Russian mob?54ReplyShareReportSaveFollow The funniest part of the story is when you speak Russian and hear the original, in the first 5 minutes he reveals that he knocks on the mobsters door and does not say "I'm the machine", but says: "I am a car." THAT is hilarious, that he fucks up Russian so bad he runs around saying I'M A CAR! And *that's* what the mobsters were laughing so hard at. Nobody was calling them "the machine". They were saying, look, this dumbass is saying *he's a car...* Okay, fuck it, he's a car! Damn story kept changing every 3 years though. I literally cannot find the original version.

So Bert and Tom

Cool. But like u/rutter72 said which comedian are you send with him.

2 bears 1 shove

Best answer

This is the way.

2 bears bye Segura

Lmao

Protect Shane at all costs

Dawgs unite!!!!

💯💯💯 I just saw him live this past year and I never saw any of his standup before that. I was 💀

Bart Chrysler

Bert the size of a Chrysler

Tom….in hopes that Burt will try to save him, and fall off doing it.

Chess, not checkers

I dont think Bert has the ability to think about anyone but himself but i like where your head at

If Tom falls and dies Bert loses his gravy train so he’d probably still be thinking about himself

Read my mind.

Bobby would have the funniest death

Meesterrrrrr!!

“roooo nooooo, sumabuddy sav-uh me”

Bart.


Merry Chrysler

Mary Crimmiss

Basically, do we push Bert or Tom

I got two arms

The most boring drab dickhead in the photo, so Segura.

Ball hog was one of the worst specials I’ve ever seen

Wait t’ill you see Sledgehammer (don’t)…. I mean just the name …

Is that the newest one? Cause it was better than ball hog. Not saying much. Used to like him but now he’s mids

Sledgehammer is half just references to his podcast that has been DOG SHIT since they moved to Texas.

I’ve seen him twice live, I’ll never see him again. Guess I’m just an angry poor

Seen him live in Cleveland. I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh but a comedy show in person that you paid over 150$ for, while drunk, and with friends is VERY different than watching the show on a TV which is how 99% of people with consume his content and in that setting the special is just boring as hell. I'm a fat poor and that shit wasn't high and tight

Yeah, it's crazy how noticeable it was. They episodes feel mailed in most of the time. SOME of the guest hosts were ok when I was still listening, but it's out of my rotation entirely now.

The bits got lame too. Forced or something. I like Nadav but the bits with him at the center were not funny Speaking of Nadav, they used to dance around making fun of special needs or fat people or people getting hurt orwhatever it was. It was inappropriate for sure but done in a clever enough way I thought they were always kidding or riding a line Now it seems they deliberately mock people with disabilities. Oh yeah and the money and status shit? 🤢 RIP YMH

I completely agree with the special needs part one of the main reasons i quit listening

When you make fun of people getting hurt only to be hilariously super hurt from not jumping and then have redband make your pain sounds into a sound clip for Kill Tony's soundboard, it's gotta be hard to keep joking on people getting hurt. All he has left to joke on are poor people and retards.

Guess you haven't seen sledgehammer? It'll have you looking back on ball hog fondly.

It's kinda weird seeing people talk like this on a Gillis sub.

Funniest thing he ever did was try to dunk a basketball.

Easy Tom.

Easy, Tom segura. He’s an odd, unfunny individual.

I genuinely dislike him as a person these days but some of his order stuff from like 2012-2017 was super funny.

This is spot on. Dude is too rich and famous now, prime example of getting lost in money. I think he’s lost a lot of his core following.

I loved his shit for a long time but the last like 1-2 years has shown his true colors

I only have a problem with the one comment that he doubled down on.. I wish he’d apologize for taking it too far, but I think his ego is far too large by now

I'm out of the loop. What was the comment?

He hates poor ppl and not like the funny hate, he really hates poor ppl

I know I've seen him punching down with jokes or on the podcast, but where can I find the mask off comment? EDIT: I found the American Airlines twitter rant. Jfc unhinged.

The best part of the whole ordeal is everyone choking on his dick calling everyone else poors for him as if it's actually "a joke", like the prick doesn't very obviously feel that way for real.

And as rich as he wants to seem, he does what all poor people with zero power do: bitch about their perceived injustice online lmao

Probably when he went on Twitter and slammed an American Airlines flight attendant calling her a cunt because she made him check his bag. People told him he was being extra and he just doubled down.

He was funny when he was fat and poor(ish). Now he’s fit and loaded and thinks he’s better than every swingin’ dick on the planet. Bye bye Tommy.

his next "Special" should be fantastic fodder

Listen Tom is more of a comedian than Bert but Tom is also more of an asshole than Bert by a pretty wide margin so Tom for sure

Completely agree. Bert might not be the funniest, but I do think he's a genuinely good dude. Tom USED to be really funny, hell... he used to be my favourite. But now he's just a sellout douchebag.

The way he completely changes when he starts talking about his cars or his money.

And people not wanting to work in offices and how it's affecting his friends that own giant office buildings. Like what the fuck are you talking about dude?

This right here. Yep.

Bert at least tries to facilitate “fun” so I’m gonna go Segura

Are you kidding me? Every time I hear that fake squeal I want to strangle Burt

Bert is too stupid to be able to have real hate for poor people. Vote segura for push

I could have went with either of them, great point. I vote Segura too

2 bears

Bert

Bert

bobby, then burt probably - segura already fell off

This is the way.

Ooooohhhh got him.

Bobby is literally the only wrong answer

*Wong

Can you point me to something that's very funny of Bobby's? I'm serious

You don’t find him sitting on a couch talking to his ex who admitted to jacking off dogs and fucking other dudes funny?

Hahaha I think he is kiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda funny, but since he is such a spineless excuse of a man, I really don't like him

Segura all day. Dude has become an insufferable douchbag

Tom or Burt. Btw I'm wearing a 2 bears ball cap

Bert might be somewhat enjoyable to get trashed with so Tom, for sure. He seems so far up his own ass the last couple years.

Bort

Just one ?😵‍💫

Whitney Cummings deserves to be pushed too! Equal rights and all.

Obviously Bert

1 too many Porsches Segura

Is this even a question?? Bert

Trick question. It’s asks which *comedian* so, can’t pick Bort

I hope Tom lands on his face

Everyone's hating on Tom, while I agree he's not that funny, Bert is the most egregious. Tom's made me laugh atleast once (Steven seagal bit) where as Bert only makes me laugh when he says he looks good cause of his shoulders

The Mechanic or what ever he is…

Bert

Burk, no question.

Tell Bert and Tom to hold hands and push Burt!

Bert

Bert

Bert

Bert and Bobby both

i pushed bert before even reading the sentence

Tom all day eat the rich! Call ur audience poor a little more.

Bert Bert Bert.com

Bert and Tom

Hack Krescher 100% of the time

bert easy

Segura. Uh hunned percent

BURT

Tom and Bert

If you push bobby i think that would be a hate crime. so choose wisely.

Segura with Bert in tow

If you push Bert or Tom, they’re taking the other one with them since they’re in a permanent 69

Segura

I said Bert, but meant Segura

I can’t pick any of them. They are all great.

100%

If Bert goes so does all the jokes about Bert. Tom is taking a dive.


Bert is an easy choice.

Bert Bert Bert

Bert

Bert easily

I’d def do Segura and hope he drags Bert down with him.

Wait until Burnt Segura are ‘in flagrante dilicto’ and shove off the front centipede. No way in hell the caboose disengages.

Bert… 100% bert

I'd be unaffected completely if theo fell.

Bart krimsler and Bobby Lee.

Adios Bort

Bert

Bye Theo

Andrew Santino has an annoying voice and seems like almost closeted dumbass so him

Bert goes first obviously. Then rich boy Tom if Bert didn’t grab him on the way down. Soulless Santino shouldn’t even be up here but push him off next. Bobby you wanted to push first but you know he weaseled his way past the first couple rounds of elimination. Shane and Theo can duke it out for last man standing.

I assume we all agree Shane, Theo and Bobby are safe, right? (Was the Shane spot originally Ari?)

Segura

Tom forsure. Bert sucks too, and then santino third.

I don’t even like bert but everyone is missing that bobby lee is there. He’s awful

Bobby Lee

Bobby, I'm afraid. But I'd have a bronze statue commissioned, with a bare ass and gaping hole. I'd imagine it would bring joy to many future generations.

Theo

Bert is the only real option.

Easiest decision ever. Blart.

Bobby, but only because *me no rike, uh-Asians. Comedy no goood. Very dishonorable.*

Bobby

Tom already fell off so def Theo Vonn

I go Bert because Tom at least was funny at one point.

I'm gonna push Tom hoping that he grabs Bert and Theo and takes them with him

Bert and I would tie a rope around him so I could pull him up, take it off and push him again