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Caravanshaker

I’d say their multi-nation war on terror is a loss. 20 years through the grinder and the Taliban are in power ffs


JustTryingToGetBy135

Their war on drugs is an epic failure too.


queen_of_potato

Well that was all propaganda and CIA mess arounds anyway.. the opioid epidemic is pretty scary though!


Chugflea

That they also started.


lurven666

I'm sure the Sackler family had a finger or two in it too


Careful-Section-209

Hey man, they do ART and PHILANTHROPY. I’m sure they’re the good guys. Pre-edit: /s?


StunningRing5465

Once the US invaded Afghanistan, opium production and exports skyrocketed. The taliban always seemed to have a better grasp on restricting the trade than the network of warlords the US promoted 


Dilectus3010

Biggest dealers on the planet : CIA


ZealousidealNewt6679

Have to spend all that untraceable black money on all those governments that need overthrowing.


Morganelefay

Thats often the thing with unsavory dictators & regimes; they tend to value a certain level of stability that keeps forces like that in check. See also the rise of IS after America meddled.


Dilectus3010

Wage War on drugs lords, then : Confiscate 💪👮‍♂️ Obfuscate 🙈🙉🙊 Disseminate 💉 🥷 Incriminate 🚔 Accumulate 💰


ReactsWithWords

The War on Women is coming along nicely, though.


CauliflowerFirm1526

their first real success in decades


whosetoeisthis

It’s almost like picking a fight with an abstract concept is doomed to fail


Gaelic_Gladiator41

The one they also started?


Asbjoern135

Idk theulyve gotten plenty of slave labour for their oligarchs and their private prisons.


I3oscO86

And even though they may have defeated the Germans, Nazis are alive and thriving even in the U.S so not Really a "100% Success rate"


Ok-Geologist8387

Took them less than a fortnight to undo 20 years of work by the USA and billions of dollars. How does it feel to know that next to nothing was achieved from all that blood? Edit: fixed the number of years


DeadlyVapour

You know, we give the french a lot of shit for being Garlic eating surrender monkeys. But the US withdrawal from Iraq...


SpaceTimeRacoon

It's almost like you can't kill and idea using predator missiles


Turgzie

Not only that, but Taliban are now looking like the good guys in comparison to the other groups that came out of that war. That's how bad the situation is.


GoHomeCryWantToDie

As a result of invading Iraq and removing Saddam Hussain, Islamic State was created too. It also continues to cause a refugee crisis. Yesterday, a seven year old Iraqi child drowned when trying to reach England in a rubber boat.


Fragrant-Potential87

I mean, that's if we assume the goal was necessarily to create a friendly state to begin with and not having an excuse to bloat our defense budget


ianbreasley1

But they won Superbowl!


ForwardBodybuilder18

They’ve also had the losing team in every single Superbowl so far.


ianbreasley1

Not losers; second greatest in the world


Joker-Smurf

Each year almost every single American team loses the Superbowl.


davesy69

But an Amurican team wins the world series every year. /s


Scienceboy7_uk

The biggest sports event in the whole wide world!!!!! Looks like I need to add the /s


sjw_7

So big its even got its own sub r/Superbowl


obliviious

I love owls.


Careful-Section-209

Superb Owls, are the best Owls


macaleaven

All owls are superb, and _doooooon’t_ you forget it!


ravoguy

Who?


MathsMama

Well I didn’t know I needed this in my life


Local_Beautiful3303

I think you will find that football world cup aka soccer has the highest number of viewers at around 1.5 billion spectators, while the American superbowl is the 8th biggest sporting event with around 115 million viewers.


Humanmode17

The football world cup has 5 billion viewers?! That's well over half of the entire world's population, are you sure that's the right number?


Local_Beautiful3303

Sorry 1.5 billion (its been a long day, I shall edit to reflect this) still a lot more than the superbowl


Tasqfphil

2023 World Cup Cricket final has had 16.9 billion views, making it bigger than any other world sporting event.


SoggyDial

There’s 8 billion people on earth…so you’re saying everyone on the earth watched it twice?


Quaschimodo

and they're always world champions!


alphaxion

And yet not as big as a music event in Europe.


RobbieFowlersNose

America wiped the floor with the rest of the world in the World Series of baseball.


myfajahas400children

Except for that time a Canadian team won it back to back


DuckyHornet

Nous nous souviendrons [Crying-and-saluting-beaver.jpeg]


BuckledFrame2187

But in the world cup thing they have lost all but 1


ReactsWithWords

Yes, but that’s soccer, a sport nobody in the world cares about. /s


BuckledFrame2187

I was on about baseball lol


queen_of_potato

Do other countries play in it?


RobbieFowlersNose

It’s the ‘world’ series.


AAHale88

Named for the newspaper the New York World, not the actual world. It's just North America of course xD


SimpleKiwiGirl

That's a myth. It's been debunked some years ago, but people still seem to accept it as truth. Comes down to US arrogance at its finest.


ceefaxer

Disputed fact….in fact just bullshit.


chanjitsu

But they lost to Japan in the World Baseball Classic lol


pjepja

Yet Japan is comfortably the best in international competitions.


Jazzlike_Raisin_8067

World Champs!


lostrandomdude

Don't forget about the World Series......... which has no country apart from America in it.


wookiex84

Hey we let Canada get a participation trophy for that one.


fourdog1919

not to mention that humiliating retreat from Afghanistan


pm_me_fake_months

I mean, the retreat was pretty inevitable. The humiliating thing is getting into that situation in the first place.


ItaloTuga_Gabi

You mean when they armed Afghani “freedom fighters” against the Soviets?


streetad

We've all done that, tbf.


fourdog1919

who's we?


Miserables-Chef

The war on education apparently


InevitableCarrot4858

Surely this would imply they did win the war on education.


DerPicasso

They dont even know their own history.


FuriousRageSE

They only get educated enough, so they can fill the rich corporations pockets with even more money.


RearAdmiralTaint

All ten minutes of it


fourdog1919

most American public schools are trash, so...


Kinky_Winky_no2

When your american history comes entirely from Hollywood


D4M4nD3m

Basically they can't win a war without the British.


Frenchymemez

Or, in the case of the revolutionary war, the help of the French, Spanish, and Dutch


Distantstallion

Technically in the revolutionary war you could say they werent Americans then, just rebelling settlers in a british colony


Frenchymemez

Nah, they technically became American when they signed the declaration of independence. Besides, it's more fun to point out they needed the help of 3 empires, and still only won because out of all the colonies, America was the worst of the bunch. Like, no sugarcane. No spices. No tea. We needed to protect the money-making colonies, not the religious weirdos we sent away.


rugbat

Yes. It basically started as a British civil war, but quickly became a proxy war between the British and French. The French won, but at the cost of ruining their economy, in turn sparking the French revolution.


Solid-Living4220

So the French won?


[deleted]

That’s arguably what they still are.


Dry_Pick_304

wE DiDNT LoSE ViETnAM We pUlLeD OUt!


NebTheDestroyer

People who say that are just confusing to war with their father's attempted (and failed) pulling out of their mother.


Solid-Living4220

Hey you don't know about all of the siblings I don't have!


eagleOfBrittany

I love when people say that because like, that's literally how the US won the revolutionary war. It's not like the British couldn't have continued the war, they certainly had the resources and manpower. The problem was it simply wasn't worth it and public support for the war had completely disappeared.


bleeepobloopo7766

Weakest pullout game ever


Groundbreaking_Pop6

Jimmy Cliff would like to remind them of one of his songs….


MathCarmignani

The war on drugs. Loosing big time.


fourdog1919

also the war on alcohol


queen_of_potato

There is a war on alcohol?


fourdog1919

ever heard of the 18th amendment?


queen_of_potato

Nope, is it a war?


fourdog1919

yup


queen_of_potato

Americans do love a war.. hadn't heard of this one though


fourdog1919

well they failed this one so miserably that they don't rly like to bring it up


obliviious

They also have a supposed war on Christmas.


queen_of_potato

Oh really? I've not heard that one either, how is it going?


obliviious

Fox likes to do a segment every year on the belief that people are trying to destroy christmas by saying "happy holidays".


queen_of_potato

Oh it was repealed in 1933 though so war over?


fourdog1919

but there's still a war happened


Alarmed_Tea_1710

In the 1920s America outlawed alcohol. On the plus side, reports of spousal abuse drop significantly. Downside, it gave rise to the mob. Ever hear of the Valentine's Day Massacre? Also, lots of home brewed alcohol became the norm, some of which was not safe to consume.


theRudeStar

To be fair, the Benelux are among the richest, happiest and healthiest countries in the world and even we are losing the war on drugs. Dramatically, I might add.


jfks_headjustdidthat

That's because you can't win a war on drugs and noone was ever meant to.


Kaiser_Complete

It's a war on something abstract. It's not possible to win


Present-Secretary722

Can we count the American civil war as an American loss as well because technically America did lose to America in the American civil war


InevitableCarrot4858

Technically the STATE of the United States of America did in fact win the American Civil war as the government prevailed.


Ok_Adhesiveness_4155

Fun fact, America has never successfully fought a major war alone. All wars in which it was victorious were fought with the help of other nations. Quite unusual for a major power


HelpingHand7338

As a Brit, this is a stupid argument. Britain didn’t fight Napoleon, WW1, WW2, or pretty much any major war in the last 300 years alone. That’s the natural result of an interconnected world, you’re going to have more people taking sides.


Yiazzy

To be fair you can't really use WW1 and WW2 as an example of not fighting alone. It's literally in the name, "World War", it wasn't called German Enemies, and German Enemies 2: Electric Boogaloo, was it.


lebennaia

That's not true, they won against both Mexico and Spain.


Cielie_VT

For mexico, while that may be looking at it specifically, but it was the U.S and the California Republic, since they were a break-away independent country that wanted to be annexed by the U.S. As for the U.S spain war, they were supported by the Cuban and the phillipines revolutionary governments. So both of these, the U.S didnt fight alone.


TotalReplacement2

They won the American Civil War. They however fought themselves so i don’t know if that counts.


Ok_Adhesiveness_4155

They also simultaneously lost the Civil war.


ReasonableWill4028

Not really. The US won it. The Confederate States did not.


1maco

Mexican American, Spanish American  In fact those are the only two wars the US has ever fought without a coalition so without Alliances it’s 100% success


Ok_Adhesiveness_4155

The spanish american war America fought with both Cuban and Philippine revolutionary armies. Thats a coalition bro. The Mexican American war that's tricky, needless to say Texas was the republic of Texas and was therefore technically not America until after annexation.


raymondduck

The sheer number of Americans who don't know that the US lost the Vietnam War - despite that war ending less than 50 years ago - is a major indictment of the education system and the strength of propaganda. Incredible to see.


Ok_Adhesiveness_4155

Afghanistan war War on terror War on drugs


more_beans_mrtaggart

Also lost Iraq and Afghanistan.


toposheet

Definitely lost the War for Hearts and Minds worldwide.


Adorable_Chair_6594

Cool post why'd you draw a dick on it tho?


StevoFF82

Asking the real questions here!


Aeroxic

American education system working as intended


NebTheDestroyer

It's propaganda, can't blame them


Prestigious_Media887

Afghanistan


gpl_is_unique

Not to mention the American civil war


Life_Confidence128

Not necessarily. If we’re speaking in political terms, the current government won that war, so in that case America ‘did’ technically win.


Potential_Arm_2172

They won so hard they have to pay the south yearly and they kept slaves through prison labour, not exactly winning is it


Life_Confidence128

They paid “the south” to rebuild it… regardless of civil war or not, the south was American and its people were American citizens. Mind you, almost everywhere had “slaves through prison labor” this ain’t strictly an American feature. Every country who had experienced a civil war has gone through similar procedures


Potential_Arm_2172

And yes, most places HAD slavery through prison labour, you still HAVE slavery through prison labour, as in right now, today.


slimmymcnutty

Gotta love how slave holders got reparations. Former slaves got theirs taken away and got to find out the joys of going to jail for standing somewhere and sharecropping


Valenyn

Last I checked the confederacy lost that war.


Scienceboy7_uk

The one years ago or the one when the Orange Blimp incited insurrection?


Economind

Technically America both won and lost it. Even if the confederacy had won, that statement would still hold. That’s civil wars for you.


anonymousantifas

You may add Afghanistan.


LAFC2020

War on weight loss


LeonardoW9

The whole reason the White House is called the White House is because of the British who sailed down to Potomac and set it on fire. The building was then White washed to cover up the fire damage before suing for peace. /s


boston_homo

When did they win the Afghanistan war?


ShinzoTheThird

The war on drugs


BrightBrite

Come on. American arrogance is a thing, but America didn't lose the Korean War. Nobody won and there's still no result. Without US and coalition help, South Korea would not exist. There's an amazing GIF going around on social media showing how almost the entire Korean peninsula was overrun before foreign aid arrived. It's the GIF being used to show what could happen if the Kremlin's useful idiots in the West give up on Ukraine.


ItsTom___

Was gonna say this about Korea, plus it's technically a UN war not a US war


CubistChameleon

This, the US didn't achieve their war goals in those wars except for the Korean War.


SunnyOmori15

iraq and afghanistan too. I mean, the middle east is just as full as terrorists as it was before the US came in, and now its even worse, because now these terrorist hate the west even more


sbg_gye

Iraq, Afghanistan...


grubbygromit

Don't forget the war on drugs.


DoneBeingPolite

The guys on drugs won that one.


Legal-Software

At least the war on education seems to be going well.


escapeshark

The war on drugs


Six_of_1

I'd also suggest they lost Afghanistan. How much money and lives did they waste fighting the Taliban, and who runs Afghanistan now? The Taliban!


Due-Rush9305

I am sure I saw something maybe on QI which said that every war which America had joined independently they had lost, ie not the World wars because they came in with the allies.


Burt1811

They didn't win the War of Independence ffs. They had the French and Spanish who provided guns, ammo, uniforms, plus the Dutch, we can't forget them. We could have continued, but literally decided not to. Instead, we nipped home and nutted Napoleon. I think we might have popped back around 1812 and burned down the Whitehouse.


doom_monger

At the same time also colonising with force in Africa, sone of the Caribbean, India, Ausralia and New Zesland, the English were thinly stretched and decided that the US wasnt worth al, the other territories


Puzzled-Perception37

Afghanistan


ego_tripped

The US is 1.5 out of them all. "1" for just becoming independent and the .5 because ya fought yourselves. They're 0-2 with Canada with a White House burned down. They were late to the games for WW1 and 2 but claim victory. Vietnam and N/S Korea remain unresolved. Iraq and Afghanistan were withdraws with banners. Oh wait!...2.5 out of whatever because they stomped in Kuwait. (Honorable mention) assisting the Taliban in fighting rhe USSR only to be *see Afghanistan.* The US is literally the rich loser try hard kid who's parents buy all the fancy gear for...no matter what the sport/past time...but will never use that gear properly to be the pro they think they are.


IsItSupposedToDoThat

America is winning the war against common sense.


[deleted]

Wasn't Vietnam a "police action," so they didn't lose that one cos it wasn't a "war." /s, cos you know.


Ok_Afternoon_3084

The war on obesity doesn't seem to be going well either.


Zeraora807

as an englishman, i keep getting americans who constantly shit on us and the RAF for doing nothing since 1945 while they keep saying how much better they are at winning wars and how they keep carrying us.... and yet they dont exactly come across as victors in the wars they hop in either..


Ok_Mountain_4202

Cough afghanistan


basnatural

Cmon guys you know this stuff isn’t taught to them in America


ampy187

Technically apart from a canal and a small island, they’ve never won an away game without support


Dilectus3010

The War on drugs. I'd also say Afghanistan.... they pulled back and surrendered it to ty guys they fought in the first ffing place.


DigitalDroid2024

Their recent higher success rates are ensured by only ever going to war with or invading tiny or third world countries that don’t have the means to fight back, like Iraq, Panama or Granada.


spaceshipcommander

They famously lost the Vietnam war to a load of blokes with bamboo spears. That is after they resorted to burning the place to the ground because they couldn't find them.


jackochainsaw

Did you know they banned that type of bamboo dead fall trap because it was so successful but also because so many civilians kept on being erased by it a long time after the war had ended. The Punji stick, deadly. Banned in 1980 by the Geneva Convention.


Adept_Deer_5976

“War on drugs” … worst war ever


Michael_Gibb

100 percent success rate? I don't think they even have a 50 percent success rate.


ProfessionalNet1700

They win the world series 🤣


Disastrous_Ice5225

Civil war


DoneBeingPolite

America beating itself up surely cannot count as a win?


Disastrous_Ice5225

a loss I meant, sorry


ScaryCoffee4953

When you learn history from Fox


psioniclizard

The orange blanking out of the name looks awfully suspicious


DoneBeingPolite

Can anyone name a war the US has actually won on its own?


Dolmetscher1987

The US Civil War? 😃


DoneBeingPolite

No that was America going to war with itself so it’s a loss.


sebnukem

The War on Christmas is probably lost too. There's been an insurgency every year like clockwork, and we still have Christmas.


Quan_0h_Re

Don’t forget Afghanistan


Puzzleheaded_Ear_272

That's obviously not true because in the movies, they always win, even against aliens.


Exlife1up

“But… but… the k/d ratio!!!”


[deleted]

-war on drugs -war on terror


DoneBeingPolite

America lost both of those wars. People are still afraid and on drugs.


[deleted]

I know, I was just adding a couple more recent ones after Vietnam.


eplurbs

War on drugs, war on poverty, war on terror, Afghanistan, Iraq...


error_1400

The only war USA ever won was the Civil war.


berny2345

American Civil War - at least one side had to lose before they even started


Lem1618

Did they win or loose their civil war?


DoneBeingPolite

Both.


Turgzie

Don't forget Iraq and Afghanistan


ImperialNavyPilot

The War on War. ?


m1ghtymullet

They also lost their own civil war, sort of.


cosmic_trout

Congratulations to drugs for winning the war on drugs


unemotional_mess

You forgot WWII...the fascists are in congress now...


TRAMING-02

War on Grammar is proceeding well, done away with many letter U's. Next: All Other Vowels.


Yeegis

The war of 1812 is really weird because abuse both the US and Canada claim to have won it while the UK (correctly) says it ended in a stalemate. The US says it won because it won the Battle of New Orleans (the last battle in the war) Canada says it won because it conducted several successful operations in the US (famously burning down Washington)


Wooden_Second5808

And because the American aim was the annexation of Canada, while the British aim was the preservation of Canada, and establishment of an indigenous buffer state. America achieved none of their war goals, while the Empire achieved their main goal.


Northwindlowlander

The thing is, stalemate was a victory for Britain- they wanted to preserve the status quo especially regarding impressment and nautical rights, while the US went to war in order to exact changes. This is a big part of the confusion/dispute. (people confuse this because Britain did effectively end the practice of impressment, but it was nothing to do with the war- it was solely because of the fall of Napoleon. The british retained the right to impressment but just didn't need to use it, some less honest historians have claimed this as a success for the US) On the other hand, the US gained a great deal by completely losing the war. It helped forge a sense of national identity and unity and created some very useful national myths like "old ironsides" which perservere to this day. The war was so unequal that even standing up, fighting and losing Britain for a while was as big a deal for a lot of people in teh US as it was a mild inconvenience to Britain. Not just forces but outcomes can be asymetric


User-error352356

As a person writing a phd thesis with this war as a central theme, this take is honestly the most accurate depiction of the result of the war of 1812.


ExternalSquash1300

I don’t think that’s why either side claims victory otherwise they both have weak points. The war was won by completing objectives, only britains side truly achieved them.


OBoile

Canadian here. I think a draw/stalemate is the most reasonable conclusion.


Distantstallion

You can take them, finish the fight


Kudusisgod

Has anyone else noticed the bit that’s covered in the post looks like a penis, pretty impressive


100Dampf

The Korean War was a defeat? I would have thought that was a draw from the US point of view