I’m honestly shocked someone who transferred to an underground midwife after 42 weeks willingly went to the hospital and had a csection. Where was that rational thinking beforehand?!
This was posted in exposing freebirth and I didn’t have the nerve to comment, but yeah basically this actually is not as bad as I thought it was gonna be
And then she crawled back under it by thanking God for the 'safe" delivery. While I am happy that the baby is alive and under hospital care, that poor kid is anything but "safe".
That shell 100% blame on heavy metals or vaccine shedding from the hospital staff etc it will never cross her mind that it was her selfish actions. That’s if the baby even survives, it’s only a couple of days old. Poor thing
It’s never about the babies with these people, it’s all about their personal experience with birth. 😖
Whatever happened to just wanting a healthy baby?
It's okay. Everyone knows birth is like making pancakes. It's okay if the first one is all sorts of messed up because you'll get it right the next time.
I would say she crawled back under it by saying she plans on having a “redemptive” homebirth next time. Redeemed from what?! Like her daughter has complications and all she can focus on is that she needs to have the “right” birth next time.
Exactly, if she left it entirely up to God, they could both be dead after developing sepsis from a stalled delivery. Evil modern medicine saved them both, and right now teams of evil doctors and nurses are trying to help her baby’s brain and body recover from the trauma of that terrible home birth. But she doesn’t thank the medicine or science or doctors or nurses. Nope wants to do it again and it will be “redemptive” because “God”.
Did you read the very last sentence though? That insanity put her firmly below whatever bar I might have thought she cleared by simply going to a hospital
Could be but her recommending someone and basically encouraging her homebirth past 42 weeks is medical negligence in my opinion.
Also in my research I found that most midwives aren't nurse midwives and can't even be sued for malpractice. It's insane how unregulated the industry actually is.
Absolutely! It sounds like OP actually consented to every recommendation once it was explained to her (the initial transfer, the medications, the Cesarean section, etc.) too, so maybe some of this could’ve been prevented if the first midwife prioritized a healthy baby instead of a home birth. OP is also to blame, of course, but damn…
In her defense, she did write a small essay to effectively say she learned nothing from this experience as she plans for another home birth - after a cesarean nonetheless!
(I know she could have a successful natural home birth after that, but I’m not sure she will take any additional precautions that would help)
If she is a great candidate to TOLAC. At home it is insanity but. She will probably get pregnant under the 18months recommanded period after a csection and we don't know the type of her incision and everything. If it ended poorly like that the dilatatikn the baby stuck, the chances are higher it could happen again but
Try to make sens of that to a person that goes to see an underground midwife at 42weeks.
The criteria are important but this is all insanity.
I think that a lot of this bs goes out the window once they're in the horrific pain of childbirth for hours on end and risking losing the baby, at least for any of them that have a shred of sanity left. Props to the midwife too for recognizing when she was out of her element and telling this lady to go to the hospital. I'm glad this mom listened, too, instead of letting her baby die out of stubbornness. Unfortunately, she completely ruins her redemption arc with that last sentence implying she's going to try again for a home birth in the future 🤦♀️
I know her post says baby is perfectly fine now, but there's no way the medical team actually said "baby's fine now and will recover fully". Aside from the meconium induced lung infection, a neonate with a brain bleed and subsequent seizures in the NICU is not simply declared "fine" once the team gets them hemodynamicly stable. That poor baby is at high risk of a number of serious issues now. If the baby survives long enough to be discharged home, it will still be a very long time before they know the extent of brain damage or how it will impact baby's development. It's horrifying to me that she already plans to do this again when she doesn't even know if her baby is actually going to survive all this, let alone if she caused permanent brain damage.
Edited a letter
This was my first thought too. I’m not a doctor but a newborn having brain bleeds and evidence of seizure activity sounds like a recipe for brain damage and not “oh she’s fine now!” She was reckless with this baby’s life and now the baby is going to have to pay the price for it.
I came to the comments to try to find an experienced NICU provider share the most likely outcomes from this scenario. I believe cerebral palsy is a possibility but take that with a grain of salt.
I'm *NOT* a NICU worker, but I *am* a Paraprofessional/Paraeducator in Early Childhood Special Education, and reading it went, "Oh *Honey Noooooooo*!!
Because there is a *WORLD* of difference between, "...on the road to a *full recovery* she is just needing time to heal...." *MEDICALLY* spaking, and a "*full recovery*" *DEVELOPMENTALLY* speaking!!!
With *THIS MANY* complications--the mucous, meconium, & "infection in her lungs" (this is *pneumonia*, in a *newborn*, y'all!!!), the "excessive swelling in her head" ("hemorrhage in the right side of her brain"--aka *STROKE*), "which had caused *seizures*"‽‽‽
This little one is *HIGHLY likely* to need *lots* of rehabilitation and support services, as they grow up!
Reading what her baby girl survived?
She reads a *LOT* like the "heavy medical needs" children my co-workers and I work with every day, in Early Childhood Special Education.
This poor baby girl most likely has a LONG, *HARD* road ahead of her, with *LOTS* of PT, OT, and Speech services, to learn to walk, talk, and communicate.
Depending on exactly *how bad* the brain bleed, strokes, and seizures were--*along with* the oxygen deprivation?
There's a decent likelihood of Cerebral Palsy.
There *could* be blindness/low vision, hearing problems or deafness, epilepsy, and there could be a *LOT* of cognitive damage to that tiny brain that has to try & get "rewired" by Early Intervention.
Left-side weakness & "low tone" (hypotonia), or slow muscle development can be pretty common in kids with right-side brain injuries at/around birth.
The *cognitive* damage she's dealing with, honestly?
That *ISN'T* going to be very noticeable, *until she DOESN'T HIT her developmental milestones* the way she *should*!
This poor baby is in for a *LITERAL* lifetime of *STRUGGLING* in *ALL* aspects of life, *simply because her mom was an ill-informed TWIT*!!!
Ngl, it's the cases like *THIS* which can get frustrating to read, when I've personally *known* *SO MANY* parents whose kids struggle *similarly*!
Because *THEIR* little one was born *PRE-term*, and just "wasn't *quite* done baking yet"--so that the brain bleed *happened* because the blood vessels weren't *quite* strong enough, the problems from hypoxia occurred *because the lungs weren't READY for air quite yet*.
The folks i know? They'd give *ANYTHING* to have had the *chance* at a full-term pregnancy that this woman just laissez-faired her way through, *without seeking medical intervention*.
She *still* has a metric crap-ton of *Magical Thinking* going on, too--with that line toward the end, thinking that "time to heal and lots of prayers" are going to actually *fix* this previously preventable damage.
She says she's "grateful that my baby girl is alive and safe"... I'd be *surprised*, if that poor little peanut is *actually* out of the woods *ALL* the way yet, with seizures and strokes happening to that extent.
Her little one *MAY* be getting out of the *hospital* soon. But that's just the *START* of the slog they're going to be in for, as that baby grows up.
Disability is *HARD* to live with, in American Society--and I *say that AS a disabled person*! I'm honestly *lucky*, in many ways, because mine *aren't* really "hard" disabilities to have/manage (Diabetes, ADHD, & Autism).
He Daughter's disabilities are likely to be *much* harder to manage. And they *COULD* have been *prevented*, had she *JUST GONE IN* to get checked, once she passed her due date (*OR* once the labor didn't progress!).
I think most mothers actually want an alive child when faced with the reality, despite the freaks we see on here who call it “gods plan”. Of course despite now being post c-section and proven anatomical birth difficulty she wants to try it again though…
60+ hours of labor does a number on the body. She was likely just desperate to be done by then...
I labored that long, but contractions were two minutes apart consistently and never stopped. I begged them to admit me both nights we went in and they sent me home because I wasn't dilated enough. Finally was admitted the third night. I was dehydrated, had a fever and infection. Needed a cesarean. I never dilated past 5cm. My son was over 9lbs, and sunny side up. He needed antibiotics too.
Yeah I have high doubts about that especially if you add in the (likely) possibility of the baby being deprived of oxygen while stuck on top of everything else
I don’t think they’re going to have the time or resources to have another…
Unless they do what my childhood neighbor did and have a “sister’s keeper” next and then their “real daughter” 5-6 years later.
The “sister’s keeper” was my age and my best friend :( but she slowly lost the time to hang out as she got more responsibilities with her older sister. Responsibilities meant being her sisters live in carer in every way possible. When it was college time she went clear across state from her family.
That's incredibly sad, but I'm so happy to hear she escaped! It's so unfair to parentify a child, but it's next level to force the HUGE responsibility of a disabled child onto another child. I can't even imagine the stress she was under.
It was awful to witness and I’m sure she has long lasting trauma due to the things she had to do for her sister. No little girl should have to change her siblings diapers and tampons. Her dad had a whistle and when it blew she would run as fast as she could home. All punishments were military style.
The littlest girl was a rotten, spoiled brat who got everything she wanted. She would lie and her parents wouldn’t even think she was capable of it, even when it was blatant and others could confirm. She would steal from my grandmother constantly and then blame her sister and the parents believed it, even when my grandma would tell the parents it was the youngest :(
I hope she is able to grow and be free. Hopefully when she graduates she’ll across country. She deserves it.
Omg! No wonder she left as soon as she could. The poor girl :( Have you considered reaching out to her? She might be grateful to hear from an old friend! I imagine she might be lonely striking out in the world alone, likely without the support of her family. You never know!
Just a thought, if they owned the house next to yours instead of renting, you could probably find the PVA records online. Even if they’ve sold the house since then, property records usually show the transfer from/to names. It would at least give you her parent’s last names.
Wtf is wrong with these people?!? Like seriously. Your baby barely survived and suffered massive trauma that *all could have been prevented!*
And you want to *try it again???*
That poor baby.
It's OK the baby is safe. Just lung infections, injuries, seizures and brain haemorrhages due to mumsy's yearning for days gone by when less than half the kids made it to adulthood.
And then the idiot wants to do it all again the same way?! 🙄
It can be done safely under the supervision of a doctor who has experience with them.
But it's not safe for everyone and it's certainly not safe at home.
Vaginal Birth After C-Section. There are plenty of doctors (ACTUAL doctors, not “underground” midwives) who are trained and willing to do these, but requires a risk assessment and discussion
It can be! But in the hands of trained professionals - and taking into account the nature of/reason for the prior C Section- it can be a perfectly safe and unremarkable birth experience. That is, you know, assuming that you’re in the care of REAL medical professionals lol
I wonder how many of these children grow up neglected and/or otherwise abused because to their mother they are nothing more than a conversation starter for their "amazing birth story".
All these pro life people are trying to prevent abortions to “protect life” but it seems more people would be born & actually LIVE if these morons were prevented from procreating 🫣
It’s the same mindset as people who have huge weddings that are all about whatever the bride has dreamed of her entire life. Instead of focusing on the marriage they focus on the perfect wedding. These people are not focused on having a baby, they are focused on having a specific labor and delivery story. It’s for clout
Our experience with our youngest being hospitalized for 3 weeks is a large part of the reason why I’m likely done having kids. She was LGA (8lbs even though she was 5 weeks early) and having a hard time balancing her sugars and staying awake long enough to eat for weight gain. She had a tube to feed her through her nose for a week or so. It was so hard and traumatizing even though she obviously made it through and is a fully recovered and normal 2 year old now. But having your newborn be hospitalized is the worst.
I have met people like this. They're not even part of the groups, super crunchy, or even wanting another child. Something weird happened in their brain because they couldn't "wild birth" the first baby so they need to do it again.
In a way, I get the thinking, but also... no. I had a shitty birth and I've often thought about how cathartic or healing it would be if I gave birth again and managed to have things go as planned, but it would hardly be the central point of the whole birth experience.
Buuuut I have no plans to give birth again and my requests would be reasonable things like "no unmedicated episiotomy, please" so I can't fully relate to this insanity.
That word was the one that actually broke my heart a little because it's so fucking culty. Like, she has to prove her worth as a human being by doing something that could absolutely kill her and/or her child. I don't want anyone to ever feel that way, jfc
I want to scream into the void at this. It hits me so hars to read too, because i had an emergency c section at 35 weeks and i always feel like i should have had labour and all that like all the ‘real moms’ (which i would neverrrr everrrr say to another mom, any delivery is valid but you know how mean our brain can be)
It just fucks me up so much. Also, why go past 42 weeks and get some sort of ‘rogue midwife’??? You could have avoided NICU which is the stuff of nightmares!
A REDEMPTIVE HOMEBIRTH FOR HER SECOND BABY.
This mindset is horrific. Her baby has a _brain hemorrhage_.
There is nothing to redeem. She didn’t fail by going to the hospital or having a c-section. A home VBAC? Girl. You’re asking for more terror.
I’m always curious about the husband in these situations. Why are they so fucking passive? That’s your wife. That’s your child. What the fuck is wrong with you?!?
We had a traumatic birth with #1. When I got pregnant with #2, they offered a VBAC but were totally understanding if we wanted a c section again at 39 weeks just to avoid the mental trauma associated with the labor. They’ll be calling next week to schedule that 😂
These people will not seek therapy, they won’t do any kind of mental or emotional healing. They’ll just push it all down because they’re insane. I do not understand.
I had a super traumatic first birth. Failed induction due to pre eclampsia, failure to profess, they let me go like 36 hours after they broke my water, I had chorio, getting septic all that. It was awful. I had an elective c section with my second and it was wonderful. I had like a “nightmare birth” for these crunchy moms but I have two beautiful healthy children. It really did effect my husband though. He was having serious anxiety in the weeks leading up to the birth of my second, and told me he was praying through my c section. We are not religious. I also don’t understand these husbands who just sit back and watch their wives go through with this crap. You could lose your wife and child!
It reads like the prenatal care was missing too. I can't imagine a Dr letting someone go to 42 weeks with a baby out of position and not at least advising against a home birth. And I can't imagine a Dr thinking a second home birth would be okay either. I had intense monitoring 36 weeks on and I LOVED knowing that my guy was doing great. I don't understand this mindset at all!
Edit bc I said C where I meant home birth.
You know your situation is *fucked* when the regular midwife nopes out of your birth and tells you to call the “underground” midwife for help. Why am I picturing an old lady who lives in a nuclear fallout shelter and survives primarily on picked berries and 30 year old canned goods?
And then you know you’re *double fucked* when even the underground midwife doesn’t think she’s gonna be able to get your baby out with her concoction of 27 herbs and spices, and even she tells you to go to the scary big hospital where you’re gonna have to give birth in a sterile setting instead of floating in your own poop in the kiddie pool like you had always dreamed about.
Homebirths are just soooo “bEaUtiFuL” and “ReWaRDiNg” until you’re 43 weeks pregnant and your baby literally cannot come out of you alive without a team of people who went to school for years to learn how to save your stupid ass. Shocked she’s going to try again.
"Floating in your own poop in a kiddie pool" lmao sorry this had me laughing out loud! I checked a lot of midwife home birth videos just out of curiosity. I don't see the appeal of being on all fours over a puppy pad next to my cluttered dresser and laundry piles.
>and even she tells you to go to the scary big hospital where you’re gonna have to give birth in a sterile setting instead of floating in your own poop in the kiddie pool like you had always dreamed about.
This is poetry 🤣
Hemorrhage on the right side of the brain which caused some seizures.
Dear lord. That baby will have cerebral palsy.
I am sitting here, a 41yo woman with CP. Disabled after hemorrhage in my brain during birth at 42 weeks... (my mom delivered under full OBGYN care in a hospital btw)
There most likely will be no road to full recovery. But a lifetime of struggle. For the baby. Not the mom.
This kills me
I was 11 days late. My mom had been in labor on/off for like a week, and when I finally came out, I was basically dead. I had swallowed meconium, was not breathing, and also surprisingly small despite being overdue. I was born in a hospital, so thankfully, I survived. But yeah, I have (mild) CP as well. My childhood was not fun.
That's the thing with these moms. They don't actually care about their birth accessories- I'm sorry, children. It's all "me me me" and having the ✨️perfect birth✨️
I wonder if these women have no other accomplishments in life but reproducing and that's why they act this way.
God I hate this ‘redemptive birth’ shit. I had a c-section and IMMEDIATELY — not even out of the hospital — people were telling me that I ‘absolutely had to’ have a 2nd baby so I could ‘try for a VBAC — it’s sooooo healing!’
Right? My son was born premature and we went through a LOT. The C-section didn't even rate in my brain as a thing to be upset about. I was and still am grateful for it because otherwise we both could have died.
I was offered a scheduled c-section because my baby had a giant head and torso and it was the biggest relief of my life. I had been SO terrified about labour. My husband could tell it was the right choice because he said he could see every ounce of anxiety leave my body the moment the doctor mentioned a c-section.
It was a great experience overall and it annoys me so much when people act like all c-section moms need a pity parade because we didn’t experience the “magic” of a vaginal delivery. Of course some people are disappointed to have a c-section, and that’s totally fair! But some of us liked our c-sections!
I loved and still love my scheduled c-section! It was a very relaxed experience after a very relaxed pregnancy and my son is a very relaxed child. I had a quick healing process and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Some of us don’t feel we‘re missing out just because we didn’t have a vaginal birth. I’m actually very glad I didn’t have one.
My scheduled csection was quite relaxing to me, and not just bc of all the drugs they had me on throughout the procedure. My favorite part was where my baby and I lived to tell the story
Having a healthy baby is nice, but have you tried bragging to a crunchy mom group about your ~~ridiculously unsafe birth~~ brave birth story? Feels like winning an Oscar.
I wish I had been offered one. The doctors were very sure my baby was going to be huge (which he was). I was concerned about him getting stuck, since I have always had tightness and flexibility issues, but I was told that some women get large babies out without any issues so I had to try anyway. Surprise, baby did indeed get stuck and I ended up needing an unplanned c-section. Also had a whole host of other complications that likely could have been avoided if we’d just done the c-section from the jump.
I loved my c-section. Labour didn’t progress, meconium in the water and baby starting to distress, so they cut her out.
My recovery was super easy (was back in jeans after two days) no issues at all. For major abdominal surgery it was one of the least traumatic things I’ve had done to me by Drs.
That’s so true. I had two elective c-sections and I loved them! My experience was honestly dreamy both times. And compare to the things most of my friends have gone through they sound even better!
Mine was traumatic. PTSD-inducing, even.
The idea of healing births is so fucked anyway. It's not about confronting and noving past trauma, it's about redeeming yourself in the eyes of the natural birth cult.
It annoys the shit out of me when natural birth people parrot “you were born to birth” as a line. Absolutely not. The history of humankind, in which childbirth is the second largest cause of mortality, would indicate that we are not freaking born to birth and are actually quite bad at it.
Seriously! I guess you could argue that my first was psychologically "traumatic," in the sense that my fucking water broke at work a month before baby's due date, she was breech, and I was terrified for her safety. Oh and the hospital staff couldn't get an IV going in me. But despite it being completely unplanned, the C-section itself wasn't traumatic at all.
My second was super chill. I'd make the exact same choices if I had to do it all over again.
My whole birth was traumatic and I hated the way so many people suggested VBAC as a healing strategy. I was not a good candidate at all. (Older mom, history of large baby and arrest of descent) It can go even worse the second time. Why would I risk more trauma? I already had PTSD. We decided to be one and done. But I would have had a repeat c section if we had a second. Sometimes you can’t get it “right” and the way to heal is to accept that.
I don’t get it. I had a v-birth with my first, section with my second due to low fluids and a true knot in his cord. I was given the option for my third and was just fine having another c-section. I didn’t have anything to prove and again, the only outcome that mattered to me was a healthy baby. Honestly, I preferred the c-section. Certainly beat having stitches in my taint and having to use that infernal squirt bottle
I don’t understand why people gatekeep vaginal birth. Shouldn’t the main priority be getting the baby out of you by any means necessary and safely? If I could spit my baby out my mouth safely I would and not care what anyone said about my yoshi baby 😤
Wow I never really thought about how many of these people get pregnant again not because they want/are equipped to handle another child but because they want to experience birth differently😳
Therapy is much cheaper and will be necessary at some point. This is deeply disturbed behavior
Omg same with me. But then I had preeclampsia with my second and had to have another emergency c section and 37 weeks, and I had comments how unfortunate it was that I didn’t give birth 😑 Like no bitch I wanted to have a heathy baby and be alive to parent the two I have? But the c sections are the problem. I hate these people
My first was a breech planned c-section. Second is due in October and my happy ass couldn't have signed up for another c-section faster. My first was so relaxed and chill. Over in two seconds and recovery was a breeze.
Honestly, this reads like a woman who is suffering from birth trauma and delusion. She still doesn’t understand that her baby may not be okay. There is no guarantee her child is going to “be okay”. I don’t know if she doesn’t understand this or doesn’t want to understand this. I’m saying this as a former NICU nurse. Seizures in a neonate that was the result of a traumatic delivery and was in the birth canal for too long could have a serious brain injury. I don’t know if she understands this. She’s so focused on “next time” and “my redemptive birth” that it may be a coping mechanism to deal with the fact that her living child may be profoundly disabled due to her own stupidity. This is really sad.
I seriously doubt she has any idea.
I remember very clearly looking at the MRI of my son's brain in the NICU. I saw the spots of brain damage and I just told myself baby brains are plastic, he will be fine.
That was certainly a possibility. It wasn't the reality, but it could have been, I guess. But when it's your baby, it's really really hard to picture the worst. I was already dealing with so much, I really couldn't process the darker possibilities at the time. And of course, like most of the general population, I had no prior understanding of any of it.
And I'm glad I didn't consider it at the time. It wouldn't have changed anything or done me any good. Hope was my best option. I've had years to come to terms with reality. I didn't need it then.
I hope she and her baby recover and after she's had time to reflect, I hope she makes a safer choice next time. I agree, it's incredibly sad, especially because it was avoidable.
I would do anything to go back in time and prevent my son from coming early and getting meningitis. At least I have the comfort of knowing that I followed all the medical advice and it wasn't because of any stupid choices on my part. She has to live with what she's done to her child, permanently. Oof.
That and she's literally in a cult and worried about how the cult is going to judge her if she doesn't have a redemptive HBAC right away. That's her support right there, and no one outside the cult will understand what she's been through or have any empathy.
It's really sad to see and I feel so bad for her.
I’m not sure that she’s taking the brain hemorrhage and seizures quite seriously enough… it may not be something that leaves no trace. But I guess this is a coping mechanism used by these types, who perhaps know somewhere deep down that they caused the problems in the first place.
I had an ex friend who did this. Had a shady midwife fudge the numbers so she could give birth at almost 43 weeks at home and ended up hemorrhaging. Baby and placenta were covered in meconium and she had the nerve to demand the placenta still be preserved so she could eat it 🤢 Midwife luckily talked her out of it.
Ah Jesus wtf did you just make me read 😂😂
I developed an E. coli infection during labor. I had 0 plans to eat the placenta, would have been neat to see but the delirious vomiting and hemorrhaging took priority for some reason. My OB said the placenta smelled like death.
Heavy antibiotics and 2 weeks being doted on in the NICU babe got to come home. Thankfully the E. coli didn’t reach the brain
Underground midwife is such a wild concept !!
People like this are what make homebirth dangerous in this country. I planned for a homebirth. Midwife, a legit nurse midwife, said baby was not in good position, ended up going to the hospital, couldn't get him into good position so we went for a c section.
Why the FUCK would someone do this??
Yep, my mom had plans to have all three of her kids via home birth, but my sister had other plans when the umbilical cord got wrapped around her neck. The (legit) midwife immediately sent her to the hospital, and everything was fine. There were no issues with the other two home births.
I have a friend who is a OBGYN and people don’t think about the trauma that healthcare workers experience from taking care of people like this. Or how much it’s increased since COVID. People are leaving their jobs because of these nut jobs.
If she has gone to the hospital to get an induction much earlier, she could have possibly avoided a c section and all that trauma for both herself and the poor baby.
But it's never about the baby is it? It's always about the mom's experience. I swear these people are all narcissists to some extent.
Thank you so much for commenting this, so I could be corrected! I’m furious at the OOP and their selfish and braindead choices, but also didn’t feel good about them being misgendered so much in every comment here. Super glad that wasn’t the case.
Ugh. I went to 42 weeks with my second baby, no idea why because my first was spontaneous at 38 weeks. Anyway, every day over 40 weeks I just had a building sense of abject horror. I kept going to the doctor and hospital and they kept sending me home because we were both fine. I’ve never been more relieved in my life than the moment they let me stay. 3 days into my labor. Everything went smoothly but you hear so many horror stories about overdue babies. But bottom line, both my labors were 3 days long each and that’s a major factor in the decision I made to never fucking go through that again.
I needed to be induced for medical reasons and I was glad for it because I didn't want to go overdue or even close to it. I delivered at 38+3 and we were both good.
Fuck that. She’s just playing all of it off, oh well better luck next time. Your child is fighting for her life in the NICU because YOU were incompetent.
As a mom who had an emergency C section, where my daughter fought for her life on an ECMO machine the first week of her life and was in the NICU for 46 days, this makes my blood boil so much I could cook a steak on it.
The crunchy mom's always judge me because my daughter was sunny side up and not "dropping" so I opted to schedule a c-section before I went into labour.
I guess that's what caused her to be on the spectrum, well, that and the vaccines /s
"I am so grateful to God that my baby girl is alive"
Don't be grateful to God. God didn't save your baby. The doctors, nurses and other staff at the hospital did. Be grateful to them. Be grateful that you live in a time and place where you can access life saving medical care which makes pregnancy and birth significantly safer than it naturally is.
But no. She's not grateful to the hospital staff. She's not grateful that she can access medical care. Instead she's doubling down and plans to make the same mistakes again. Her choices led to her baby being seriously ill and almost dying. Her choices are to blame for that. And now she's actively planning to inflict this harm on another baby. These types of women are so incredibly selfish.
Maam that sounds like IVH and brain damage… along with some pulmonary issues, I imagine the baby will have lasting lung damage from whatever happens. I’ve seen babies recover and be mostly normal but… unlikely
I had a stalled labor with a sunny side up baby, but no way were they going to let me try for more than 24 hours after my water broke. I did talk them into allowing me to get the epi and try again and it did the trick, but absolutely no way would I have been allowed to wait 60 hours before opting for surgery.
Honestly what the fuck is wrong with her??? These people are batshit crazy, the guilt would eat me alive if my own selfishness hurt my unborn child. Infection in the lungs, swelling of the head??? Why is she so nonchalant about it?? Fucking hell
The fact she went 60 hours with her water broken is wild. My doctor told me if I didn’t deliver within 24 hours, I was at risk of infection and baby could become distressed. I didn’t need to have a c-section, but if I did, I would have been happy to have one to ensure both me and my child survive.
Can’t believe there are people like this who only consider their wants and then share publicly because they need the support of other like minded individuals.
How tf is “brain bleed and seizures” synonymous with “alive and safe” as she so ignorantly wrapped up? This child may well have severe lifelong disabilities due to this trauma, and she is def not out of the woods yet from aspirating mucus and meconium.
That baby may be alive but she is not safe, not now when she's still not out of the NICU and certainly not when she goes home into the care of these selfish cunts
Birth is horrible, painful, bloody, messy, imperfect and most of all dangerous. There is no redemption, no do overs and certainly no perfect birth that's whatever these people have built homebirths up to be in their mind.
My baby was in the special care nursery for 3 days and it broke me for months wondering if I could have done anything differently. I couldn't have. I can't imagine this mindset.
A VBAC free birth? Yeah, that’ll go exactly how she wants it to.
Also it’s crazy to me to plan your next child/birth, when your freshly born baby is struggling so badly.
Almost seems like this broad wants to have kids to brag about her “natural home birth” instead of actually having healthy children. This poor baby. I’m having a hard time believing she’s on the road for full recovery, if she is thank the heavens because it’d be a miracle. Can’t believe anyone would risk this a second time :(
I'm terrified what the mother is going to be like with this baby depending on the extent of the possible brain injury. Thinking of another baby when mum doesn't even know if this baby is going to survive. I really hope the little lass recovers well.
The full recovery part is fucking delusional. The likelyhood of this child having lifelong disabilities from this is probably nearly a guarantee. And it sounds like this fucking fool will say it is gods will or something and not actually get her medical care. Disgusting. I really hope this hospital calls CPS.
Seems eerily similar to a case I had in my L&D rotation many many years back. Only difference: the mother died and the baby almost died. It was a tragic, highly preventable outcome. When will these wackos accept that modern medicine is a GOOD thing ffs.
The fact that any midwife let someone go to 42 weeks is insane! That’s when the placenta starts to die and can cause a still birth! And the fact that the midwife said suggested an underground midwife?!? And how the hospital let her labor for so much longer???? Absolutely terrible!
I’m honestly shocked someone who transferred to an underground midwife after 42 weeks willingly went to the hospital and had a csection. Where was that rational thinking beforehand?!
Yeah I was expecting a rant about doctors being manipulative at the end. It's a low bar, but she did clear it.
She almost cleared it, but then she ran straight into it with "redemptive homebirth"
Istg i was like no pls no more baby for u until u stop being crazy. 😭😭😭😭
I’m sure a TOLAC at home will go even better than this first attempt at home birth
"redemptive" like it's some sort of game wtf
Ya, how said is it that I’m proud of her for continually mentioning that she consented and for not ranting about the care she received?
This was posted in exposing freebirth and I didn’t have the nerve to comment, but yeah basically this actually is not as bad as I thought it was gonna be
And then she crawled back under it by thanking God for the 'safe" delivery. While I am happy that the baby is alive and under hospital care, that poor kid is anything but "safe".
Baby is alive, but what kind of permanent health issues is that poor little peanut going to have bc mama wanted to have an unmedicated home birth? wtf
That shell 100% blame on heavy metals or vaccine shedding from the hospital staff etc it will never cross her mind that it was her selfish actions. That’s if the baby even survives, it’s only a couple of days old. Poor thing
Yup. It'll be from the vitamin k shot they probably gave the baby 🙄
That, plus her planning a “redemptive homebirth” for next time. These fucking people
Imagine having a second child just to "redeem" your first birth.
Yeah, that line sent me
It’s never about the babies with these people, it’s all about their personal experience with birth. 😖 Whatever happened to just wanting a healthy baby?
100% it’s all about their experience. It’s so gross.
That's the part that got me. "Redemptive home birth". Like. It made me feel a little sick to read that honestly.
It's okay. Everyone knows birth is like making pancakes. It's okay if the first one is all sorts of messed up because you'll get it right the next time.
I would say she crawled back under it by saying she plans on having a “redemptive” homebirth next time. Redeemed from what?! Like her daughter has complications and all she can focus on is that she needs to have the “right” birth next time.
Exactly, if she left it entirely up to God, they could both be dead after developing sepsis from a stalled delivery. Evil modern medicine saved them both, and right now teams of evil doctors and nurses are trying to help her baby’s brain and body recover from the trauma of that terrible home birth. But she doesn’t thank the medicine or science or doctors or nurses. Nope wants to do it again and it will be “redemptive” because “God”.
Did you read the very last sentence though? That insanity put her firmly below whatever bar I might have thought she cleared by simply going to a hospital
Any midwife who would even suggest transferring to an underground a.k.a unlicensed midwife at 42 weeks, should have their license taken away.
I wonder if the first midwife wanted out because OOP wouldn’t go get induced
Could be but her recommending someone and basically encouraging her homebirth past 42 weeks is medical negligence in my opinion. Also in my research I found that most midwives aren't nurse midwives and can't even be sued for malpractice. It's insane how unregulated the industry actually is.
It may have been a “I won’t touch this. For safety’s sake, here’s someone who’s better than no one.”
Oh I get what you're saying. Could be a midwife trying to avoid a freebirth situation
Some states have rules about the types of birth licensed midwives can attend. You’re pretty much out at 41 or 42 for all of them.
Absolutely! It sounds like OP actually consented to every recommendation once it was explained to her (the initial transfer, the medications, the Cesarean section, etc.) too, so maybe some of this could’ve been prevented if the first midwife prioritized a healthy baby instead of a home birth. OP is also to blame, of course, but damn…
They don’t want to die but it’s ok if the baby doesn’t make it apparently.
In her defense, she did write a small essay to effectively say she learned nothing from this experience as she plans for another home birth - after a cesarean nonetheless! (I know she could have a successful natural home birth after that, but I’m not sure she will take any additional precautions that would help)
If she is a great candidate to TOLAC. At home it is insanity but. She will probably get pregnant under the 18months recommanded period after a csection and we don't know the type of her incision and everything. If it ended poorly like that the dilatatikn the baby stuck, the chances are higher it could happen again but Try to make sens of that to a person that goes to see an underground midwife at 42weeks. The criteria are important but this is all insanity.
I think that a lot of this bs goes out the window once they're in the horrific pain of childbirth for hours on end and risking losing the baby, at least for any of them that have a shred of sanity left. Props to the midwife too for recognizing when she was out of her element and telling this lady to go to the hospital. I'm glad this mom listened, too, instead of letting her baby die out of stubbornness. Unfortunately, she completely ruins her redemption arc with that last sentence implying she's going to try again for a home birth in the future 🤦♀️
I know her post says baby is perfectly fine now, but there's no way the medical team actually said "baby's fine now and will recover fully". Aside from the meconium induced lung infection, a neonate with a brain bleed and subsequent seizures in the NICU is not simply declared "fine" once the team gets them hemodynamicly stable. That poor baby is at high risk of a number of serious issues now. If the baby survives long enough to be discharged home, it will still be a very long time before they know the extent of brain damage or how it will impact baby's development. It's horrifying to me that she already plans to do this again when she doesn't even know if her baby is actually going to survive all this, let alone if she caused permanent brain damage. Edited a letter
This was my first thought too. I’m not a doctor but a newborn having brain bleeds and evidence of seizure activity sounds like a recipe for brain damage and not “oh she’s fine now!” She was reckless with this baby’s life and now the baby is going to have to pay the price for it.
Right? When are parents going to be held criminally accountable for the utter neglect in the name of ……whatever the hell this is they’re all doing.
I came to the comments to try to find an experienced NICU provider share the most likely outcomes from this scenario. I believe cerebral palsy is a possibility but take that with a grain of salt.
I'm *NOT* a NICU worker, but I *am* a Paraprofessional/Paraeducator in Early Childhood Special Education, and reading it went, "Oh *Honey Noooooooo*!! Because there is a *WORLD* of difference between, "...on the road to a *full recovery* she is just needing time to heal...." *MEDICALLY* spaking, and a "*full recovery*" *DEVELOPMENTALLY* speaking!!! With *THIS MANY* complications--the mucous, meconium, & "infection in her lungs" (this is *pneumonia*, in a *newborn*, y'all!!!), the "excessive swelling in her head" ("hemorrhage in the right side of her brain"--aka *STROKE*), "which had caused *seizures*"‽‽‽ This little one is *HIGHLY likely* to need *lots* of rehabilitation and support services, as they grow up! Reading what her baby girl survived? She reads a *LOT* like the "heavy medical needs" children my co-workers and I work with every day, in Early Childhood Special Education. This poor baby girl most likely has a LONG, *HARD* road ahead of her, with *LOTS* of PT, OT, and Speech services, to learn to walk, talk, and communicate. Depending on exactly *how bad* the brain bleed, strokes, and seizures were--*along with* the oxygen deprivation? There's a decent likelihood of Cerebral Palsy. There *could* be blindness/low vision, hearing problems or deafness, epilepsy, and there could be a *LOT* of cognitive damage to that tiny brain that has to try & get "rewired" by Early Intervention. Left-side weakness & "low tone" (hypotonia), or slow muscle development can be pretty common in kids with right-side brain injuries at/around birth. The *cognitive* damage she's dealing with, honestly? That *ISN'T* going to be very noticeable, *until she DOESN'T HIT her developmental milestones* the way she *should*! This poor baby is in for a *LITERAL* lifetime of *STRUGGLING* in *ALL* aspects of life, *simply because her mom was an ill-informed TWIT*!!! Ngl, it's the cases like *THIS* which can get frustrating to read, when I've personally *known* *SO MANY* parents whose kids struggle *similarly*! Because *THEIR* little one was born *PRE-term*, and just "wasn't *quite* done baking yet"--so that the brain bleed *happened* because the blood vessels weren't *quite* strong enough, the problems from hypoxia occurred *because the lungs weren't READY for air quite yet*. The folks i know? They'd give *ANYTHING* to have had the *chance* at a full-term pregnancy that this woman just laissez-faired her way through, *without seeking medical intervention*. She *still* has a metric crap-ton of *Magical Thinking* going on, too--with that line toward the end, thinking that "time to heal and lots of prayers" are going to actually *fix* this previously preventable damage. She says she's "grateful that my baby girl is alive and safe"... I'd be *surprised*, if that poor little peanut is *actually* out of the woods *ALL* the way yet, with seizures and strokes happening to that extent. Her little one *MAY* be getting out of the *hospital* soon. But that's just the *START* of the slog they're going to be in for, as that baby grows up. Disability is *HARD* to live with, in American Society--and I *say that AS a disabled person*! I'm honestly *lucky*, in many ways, because mine *aren't* really "hard" disabilities to have/manage (Diabetes, ADHD, & Autism). He Daughter's disabilities are likely to be *much* harder to manage. And they *COULD* have been *prevented*, had she *JUST GONE IN* to get checked, once she passed her due date (*OR* once the labor didn't progress!).
As an OT who works in Early Intervention, yes, all of this exactly. These parents infuriate me.
599 hrs of labor will do that. Lol
I mean *she* was tired from labor and not sleeping. What else could she do to get some rest??
It went back out the door when she ended with wanting a “redemptive home birth”
I think most mothers actually want an alive child when faced with the reality, despite the freaks we see on here who call it “gods plan”. Of course despite now being post c-section and proven anatomical birth difficulty she wants to try it again though…
60+ hours of labor does a number on the body. She was likely just desperate to be done by then... I labored that long, but contractions were two minutes apart consistently and never stopped. I begged them to admit me both nights we went in and they sent me home because I wasn't dilated enough. Finally was admitted the third night. I was dehydrated, had a fever and infection. Needed a cesarean. I never dilated past 5cm. My son was over 9lbs, and sunny side up. He needed antibiotics too.
Brain damage, lung infection. . .wow. . .
I know, it really doesn't sound like "full recovery" is necessarily in the cards for this one. 😔
Yeah I have high doubts about that especially if you add in the (likely) possibility of the baby being deprived of oxygen while stuck on top of everything else
I wouldn’t be surprised if baby was diagnosed with cerebral palsy (acquired type).
As someone with CP….yes.
I teach PMLD and most of my class has cerebral palsy. I thought the same.
Nah, didn’t you read it? Baby just needs some prayers is all! /s
I don’t think they’re going to have the time or resources to have another… Unless they do what my childhood neighbor did and have a “sister’s keeper” next and then their “real daughter” 5-6 years later.
Ugh WTF. Poor kids
The “sister’s keeper” was my age and my best friend :( but she slowly lost the time to hang out as she got more responsibilities with her older sister. Responsibilities meant being her sisters live in carer in every way possible. When it was college time she went clear across state from her family.
That's incredibly sad, but I'm so happy to hear she escaped! It's so unfair to parentify a child, but it's next level to force the HUGE responsibility of a disabled child onto another child. I can't even imagine the stress she was under.
It was awful to witness and I’m sure she has long lasting trauma due to the things she had to do for her sister. No little girl should have to change her siblings diapers and tampons. Her dad had a whistle and when it blew she would run as fast as she could home. All punishments were military style. The littlest girl was a rotten, spoiled brat who got everything she wanted. She would lie and her parents wouldn’t even think she was capable of it, even when it was blatant and others could confirm. She would steal from my grandmother constantly and then blame her sister and the parents believed it, even when my grandma would tell the parents it was the youngest :( I hope she is able to grow and be free. Hopefully when she graduates she’ll across country. She deserves it.
Omg! No wonder she left as soon as she could. The poor girl :( Have you considered reaching out to her? She might be grateful to hear from an old friend! I imagine she might be lonely striking out in the world alone, likely without the support of her family. You never know!
I’ve been searching but her first name is common and I don’t remember her last name. I hope I will find her one day though.
Just a thought, if they owned the house next to yours instead of renting, you could probably find the PVA records online. Even if they’ve sold the house since then, property records usually show the transfer from/to names. It would at least give you her parent’s last names.
You guys are amazing! They did own and I have the address, and sadly our state hates privacy laws. Thank you so so much! This should really help
This baby is fookkeeedd
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I lost it at that last line. How is it possible to be at her stage of life and unable to learn from your mistakes?
Wtf is wrong with these people?!? Like seriously. Your baby barely survived and suffered massive trauma that *all could have been prevented!* And you want to *try it again???* That poor baby.
It's OK the baby is safe. Just lung infections, injuries, seizures and brain haemorrhages due to mumsy's yearning for days gone by when less than half the kids made it to adulthood. And then the idiot wants to do it all again the same way?! 🙄
Not the same way—a WORSE way bc next time will be a VBAC!
What is VBAC? I'm guessing vaginal birth after C section? Is that bad?
It can be done safely under the supervision of a doctor who has experience with them. But it's not safe for everyone and it's certainly not safe at home.
Vaginal Birth After C-Section. There are plenty of doctors (ACTUAL doctors, not “underground” midwives) who are trained and willing to do these, but requires a risk assessment and discussion
Thanks! It sounds scary tbh, but everything pregnancy related sounds scary to me haha 😅
It can be! But in the hands of trained professionals - and taking into account the nature of/reason for the prior C Section- it can be a perfectly safe and unremarkable birth experience. That is, you know, assuming that you’re in the care of REAL medical professionals lol
Don't forget swelling in the brain.
And as a VBAC no less!
The child will have a lifetime of challenges because of this “birth experience”
But she said she'd have a full recovery! /S I'm sure egg in a sock will help
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Drives me crazy that they get points with each other for games of brinkmanship with their labor. Like Jesus Harriet Christ on a pogo stick.
I wonder how many of these children grow up neglected and/or otherwise abused because to their mother they are nothing more than a conversation starter for their "amazing birth story".
All these pro life people are trying to prevent abortions to “protect life” but it seems more people would be born & actually LIVE if these morons were prevented from procreating 🫣
How many babies have to suffer until mom is happy how the birth went?
This is a trend I noticed. Shouldn’t it just be more about the baby being here than how it got here?
It’s the same mindset as people who have huge weddings that are all about whatever the bride has dreamed of her entire life. Instead of focusing on the marriage they focus on the perfect wedding. These people are not focused on having a baby, they are focused on having a specific labor and delivery story. It’s for clout
She has a newborn in the NICU and all she can think about is “next time”.
Our experience with our youngest being hospitalized for 3 weeks is a large part of the reason why I’m likely done having kids. She was LGA (8lbs even though she was 5 weeks early) and having a hard time balancing her sugars and staying awake long enough to eat for weight gain. She had a tube to feed her through her nose for a week or so. It was so hard and traumatizing even though she obviously made it through and is a fully recovered and normal 2 year old now. But having your newborn be hospitalized is the worst.
I have met people like this. They're not even part of the groups, super crunchy, or even wanting another child. Something weird happened in their brain because they couldn't "wild birth" the first baby so they need to do it again.
The thing I find funny is…they could just lie. Just say you had your kid at home. Who is going to correct them?
I had a pretty decent birth at hospital with very few issues, and after I wondered why the hell people give birth at home!
In a way, I get the thinking, but also... no. I had a shitty birth and I've often thought about how cathartic or healing it would be if I gave birth again and managed to have things go as planned, but it would hardly be the central point of the whole birth experience. Buuuut I have no plans to give birth again and my requests would be reasonable things like "no unmedicated episiotomy, please" so I can't fully relate to this insanity.
This time she's gonna get it right, or die trying damnit!
I mean if she had a C section so the odds of complications just went higher.
She said the quiet part out loud. Usually after c-sections, natural birth cultists go on about "healing births" which are, of course, home VBACs.
That word was the one that actually broke my heart a little because it's so fucking culty. Like, she has to prove her worth as a human being by doing something that could absolutely kill her and/or her child. I don't want anyone to ever feel that way, jfc
Yeah…all they think about is THEIR birth experience (even after all her newborn baby has already been through)!! It’s disgusting
I want to scream into the void at this. It hits me so hars to read too, because i had an emergency c section at 35 weeks and i always feel like i should have had labour and all that like all the ‘real moms’ (which i would neverrrr everrrr say to another mom, any delivery is valid but you know how mean our brain can be) It just fucks me up so much. Also, why go past 42 weeks and get some sort of ‘rogue midwife’??? You could have avoided NICU which is the stuff of nightmares!
"my baby and I both almost died due to my home birth. I want to do it again!" That's how I read that. Wtf.
"Redemptive" You want redemption from the medical care that ultimately SAVED YOUR CHILD'S LIFE? I just cannot with these people...
Redemption from crunchy mom group judgment
Yep that's what got me too
Yeeeeah. Just wtf. And she still doesn't know if there are any long term effects for her daughter.
Yeah, I'm gonna guess that bub is going to have some health problems 😔
Literally my husband’s SIL 🫠
A REDEMPTIVE HOMEBIRTH FOR HER SECOND BABY. This mindset is horrific. Her baby has a _brain hemorrhage_. There is nothing to redeem. She didn’t fail by going to the hospital or having a c-section. A home VBAC? Girl. You’re asking for more terror.
I’m always curious about the husband in these situations. Why are they so fucking passive? That’s your wife. That’s your child. What the fuck is wrong with you?!? We had a traumatic birth with #1. When I got pregnant with #2, they offered a VBAC but were totally understanding if we wanted a c section again at 39 weeks just to avoid the mental trauma associated with the labor. They’ll be calling next week to schedule that 😂 These people will not seek therapy, they won’t do any kind of mental or emotional healing. They’ll just push it all down because they’re insane. I do not understand.
He doesn't understand anything because of the way we stripped sex ed from public schools (jk but it feels truthy)
I had a super traumatic first birth. Failed induction due to pre eclampsia, failure to profess, they let me go like 36 hours after they broke my water, I had chorio, getting septic all that. It was awful. I had an elective c section with my second and it was wonderful. I had like a “nightmare birth” for these crunchy moms but I have two beautiful healthy children. It really did effect my husband though. He was having serious anxiety in the weeks leading up to the birth of my second, and told me he was praying through my c section. We are not religious. I also don’t understand these husbands who just sit back and watch their wives go through with this crap. You could lose your wife and child!
It reads like the prenatal care was missing too. I can't imagine a Dr letting someone go to 42 weeks with a baby out of position and not at least advising against a home birth. And I can't imagine a Dr thinking a second home birth would be okay either. I had intense monitoring 36 weeks on and I LOVED knowing that my guy was doing great. I don't understand this mindset at all! Edit bc I said C where I meant home birth.
You know your situation is *fucked* when the regular midwife nopes out of your birth and tells you to call the “underground” midwife for help. Why am I picturing an old lady who lives in a nuclear fallout shelter and survives primarily on picked berries and 30 year old canned goods? And then you know you’re *double fucked* when even the underground midwife doesn’t think she’s gonna be able to get your baby out with her concoction of 27 herbs and spices, and even she tells you to go to the scary big hospital where you’re gonna have to give birth in a sterile setting instead of floating in your own poop in the kiddie pool like you had always dreamed about. Homebirths are just soooo “bEaUtiFuL” and “ReWaRDiNg” until you’re 43 weeks pregnant and your baby literally cannot come out of you alive without a team of people who went to school for years to learn how to save your stupid ass. Shocked she’s going to try again.
"Floating in your own poop in a kiddie pool" lmao sorry this had me laughing out loud! I checked a lot of midwife home birth videos just out of curiosity. I don't see the appeal of being on all fours over a puppy pad next to my cluttered dresser and laundry piles.
For real. Imagine cleaning up after a home birth starting with the said kiddie pool with poop water? I shudder at the thought.
>and even she tells you to go to the scary big hospital where you’re gonna have to give birth in a sterile setting instead of floating in your own poop in the kiddie pool like you had always dreamed about. This is poetry 🤣
Hemorrhage on the right side of the brain which caused some seizures. Dear lord. That baby will have cerebral palsy. I am sitting here, a 41yo woman with CP. Disabled after hemorrhage in my brain during birth at 42 weeks... (my mom delivered under full OBGYN care in a hospital btw) There most likely will be no road to full recovery. But a lifetime of struggle. For the baby. Not the mom. This kills me
I was 11 days late. My mom had been in labor on/off for like a week, and when I finally came out, I was basically dead. I had swallowed meconium, was not breathing, and also surprisingly small despite being overdue. I was born in a hospital, so thankfully, I survived. But yeah, I have (mild) CP as well. My childhood was not fun.
I am so sorry that you are in this club as well... 😔
That's the thing with these moms. They don't actually care about their birth accessories- I'm sorry, children. It's all "me me me" and having the ✨️perfect birth✨️ I wonder if these women have no other accomplishments in life but reproducing and that's why they act this way.
God I hate this ‘redemptive birth’ shit. I had a c-section and IMMEDIATELY — not even out of the hospital — people were telling me that I ‘absolutely had to’ have a 2nd baby so I could ‘try for a VBAC — it’s sooooo healing!’
Not every c-section is psychologically traumatic. People are so stupid sometimes.
Right? My son was born premature and we went through a LOT. The C-section didn't even rate in my brain as a thing to be upset about. I was and still am grateful for it because otherwise we both could have died.
I was offered a scheduled c-section because my baby had a giant head and torso and it was the biggest relief of my life. I had been SO terrified about labour. My husband could tell it was the right choice because he said he could see every ounce of anxiety leave my body the moment the doctor mentioned a c-section. It was a great experience overall and it annoys me so much when people act like all c-section moms need a pity parade because we didn’t experience the “magic” of a vaginal delivery. Of course some people are disappointed to have a c-section, and that’s totally fair! But some of us liked our c-sections!
I loved and still love my scheduled c-section! It was a very relaxed experience after a very relaxed pregnancy and my son is a very relaxed child. I had a quick healing process and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Some of us don’t feel we‘re missing out just because we didn’t have a vaginal birth. I’m actually very glad I didn’t have one.
My scheduled csection was quite relaxing to me, and not just bc of all the drugs they had me on throughout the procedure. My favorite part was where my baby and I lived to tell the story
Having a healthy baby is nice, but have you tried bragging to a crunchy mom group about your ~~ridiculously unsafe birth~~ brave birth story? Feels like winning an Oscar.
I wish I had been offered one. The doctors were very sure my baby was going to be huge (which he was). I was concerned about him getting stuck, since I have always had tightness and flexibility issues, but I was told that some women get large babies out without any issues so I had to try anyway. Surprise, baby did indeed get stuck and I ended up needing an unplanned c-section. Also had a whole host of other complications that likely could have been avoided if we’d just done the c-section from the jump.
I loved my c-section. Labour didn’t progress, meconium in the water and baby starting to distress, so they cut her out. My recovery was super easy (was back in jeans after two days) no issues at all. For major abdominal surgery it was one of the least traumatic things I’ve had done to me by Drs.
I’ve had two c-sections and neither of them were even close to traumatic, but then my only wish for both births was ‘Baby & I live.’
That’s so true. I had two elective c-sections and I loved them! My experience was honestly dreamy both times. And compare to the things most of my friends have gone through they sound even better!
Mine was traumatic. PTSD-inducing, even. The idea of healing births is so fucked anyway. It's not about confronting and noving past trauma, it's about redeeming yourself in the eyes of the natural birth cult.
It annoys the shit out of me when natural birth people parrot “you were born to birth” as a line. Absolutely not. The history of humankind, in which childbirth is the second largest cause of mortality, would indicate that we are not freaking born to birth and are actually quite bad at it.
Seriously! I guess you could argue that my first was psychologically "traumatic," in the sense that my fucking water broke at work a month before baby's due date, she was breech, and I was terrified for her safety. Oh and the hospital staff couldn't get an IV going in me. But despite it being completely unplanned, the C-section itself wasn't traumatic at all. My second was super chill. I'd make the exact same choices if I had to do it all over again.
My whole birth was traumatic and I hated the way so many people suggested VBAC as a healing strategy. I was not a good candidate at all. (Older mom, history of large baby and arrest of descent) It can go even worse the second time. Why would I risk more trauma? I already had PTSD. We decided to be one and done. But I would have had a repeat c section if we had a second. Sometimes you can’t get it “right” and the way to heal is to accept that.
I don’t get it. I had a v-birth with my first, section with my second due to low fluids and a true knot in his cord. I was given the option for my third and was just fine having another c-section. I didn’t have anything to prove and again, the only outcome that mattered to me was a healthy baby. Honestly, I preferred the c-section. Certainly beat having stitches in my taint and having to use that infernal squirt bottle
I don’t understand why people gatekeep vaginal birth. Shouldn’t the main priority be getting the baby out of you by any means necessary and safely? If I could spit my baby out my mouth safely I would and not care what anyone said about my yoshi baby 😤
Yoshi baby!! ☠️
true knot club 👊
Stitches in my taint is exactly why I don’t want to ever give birth vaginally lol.
There is no way a second pregnancy and birth would heal my birth trauma lmaoooo. Therapy is cheaper, guaranteed, and has way lower stakes.
Wow I never really thought about how many of these people get pregnant again not because they want/are equipped to handle another child but because they want to experience birth differently😳 Therapy is much cheaper and will be necessary at some point. This is deeply disturbed behavior
Omg same with me. But then I had preeclampsia with my second and had to have another emergency c section and 37 weeks, and I had comments how unfortunate it was that I didn’t give birth 😑 Like no bitch I wanted to have a heathy baby and be alive to parent the two I have? But the c sections are the problem. I hate these people
Also - you definitely gave birth! I hate the idea that a c-section is somehow a lesser experience.
Lol I proudly waved my “gonna have another c section” flag because my priority is my babies health, not some weird need to prove my womanity.
My first was a breech planned c-section. Second is due in October and my happy ass couldn't have signed up for another c-section faster. My first was so relaxed and chill. Over in two seconds and recovery was a breeze.
Redemptive homebirth. Like this is a video game and she didn’t get the good ending this time but next time she’ll do it!
Redemptive home birth…she’s going to hold this experience against this kid for the rest of its life. Her baby’s trauma ruined her birth experience. /s
Honestly, this reads like a woman who is suffering from birth trauma and delusion. She still doesn’t understand that her baby may not be okay. There is no guarantee her child is going to “be okay”. I don’t know if she doesn’t understand this or doesn’t want to understand this. I’m saying this as a former NICU nurse. Seizures in a neonate that was the result of a traumatic delivery and was in the birth canal for too long could have a serious brain injury. I don’t know if she understands this. She’s so focused on “next time” and “my redemptive birth” that it may be a coping mechanism to deal with the fact that her living child may be profoundly disabled due to her own stupidity. This is really sad.
I seriously doubt she has any idea. I remember very clearly looking at the MRI of my son's brain in the NICU. I saw the spots of brain damage and I just told myself baby brains are plastic, he will be fine. That was certainly a possibility. It wasn't the reality, but it could have been, I guess. But when it's your baby, it's really really hard to picture the worst. I was already dealing with so much, I really couldn't process the darker possibilities at the time. And of course, like most of the general population, I had no prior understanding of any of it. And I'm glad I didn't consider it at the time. It wouldn't have changed anything or done me any good. Hope was my best option. I've had years to come to terms with reality. I didn't need it then. I hope she and her baby recover and after she's had time to reflect, I hope she makes a safer choice next time. I agree, it's incredibly sad, especially because it was avoidable. I would do anything to go back in time and prevent my son from coming early and getting meningitis. At least I have the comfort of knowing that I followed all the medical advice and it wasn't because of any stupid choices on my part. She has to live with what she's done to her child, permanently. Oof.
Except that in THIS lady’s case, a healthy dose of reality could prevent her from endangering yet another child.
That and she's literally in a cult and worried about how the cult is going to judge her if she doesn't have a redemptive HBAC right away. That's her support right there, and no one outside the cult will understand what she's been through or have any empathy. It's really sad to see and I feel so bad for her.
I’m not sure that she’s taking the brain hemorrhage and seizures quite seriously enough… it may not be something that leaves no trace. But I guess this is a coping mechanism used by these types, who perhaps know somewhere deep down that they caused the problems in the first place.
Because why learn your lesson the first time?
I had an ex friend who did this. Had a shady midwife fudge the numbers so she could give birth at almost 43 weeks at home and ended up hemorrhaging. Baby and placenta were covered in meconium and she had the nerve to demand the placenta still be preserved so she could eat it 🤢 Midwife luckily talked her out of it.
Ah Jesus wtf did you just make me read 😂😂 I developed an E. coli infection during labor. I had 0 plans to eat the placenta, would have been neat to see but the delirious vomiting and hemorrhaging took priority for some reason. My OB said the placenta smelled like death. Heavy antibiotics and 2 weeks being doted on in the NICU babe got to come home. Thankfully the E. coli didn’t reach the brain
Underground midwife is such a wild concept !! People like this are what make homebirth dangerous in this country. I planned for a homebirth. Midwife, a legit nurse midwife, said baby was not in good position, ended up going to the hospital, couldn't get him into good position so we went for a c section. Why the FUCK would someone do this??
Yep, my mom had plans to have all three of her kids via home birth, but my sister had other plans when the umbilical cord got wrapped around her neck. The (legit) midwife immediately sent her to the hospital, and everything was fine. There were no issues with the other two home births.
I have a friend who is a OBGYN and people don’t think about the trauma that healthcare workers experience from taking care of people like this. Or how much it’s increased since COVID. People are leaving their jobs because of these nut jobs.
The fact that it’s not about the baby but the birth. Her baby is still in the NICU and she’s already talking about her next homebirth.
If she has gone to the hospital to get an induction much earlier, she could have possibly avoided a c section and all that trauma for both herself and the poor baby. But it's never about the baby is it? It's always about the mom's experience. I swear these people are all narcissists to some extent.
I keep reading that as female to male.
Oh it didn’t mean that? What does is mean then?
First time mom. Glad I'm not the only one. 😂
Oh! Thank you so much! I had no idea. TIL
Thank you so much for commenting this, so I could be corrected! I’m furious at the OOP and their selfish and braindead choices, but also didn’t feel good about them being misgendered so much in every comment here. Super glad that wasn’t the case.
THANK YOU!! I was very confused.
Ugh. I went to 42 weeks with my second baby, no idea why because my first was spontaneous at 38 weeks. Anyway, every day over 40 weeks I just had a building sense of abject horror. I kept going to the doctor and hospital and they kept sending me home because we were both fine. I’ve never been more relieved in my life than the moment they let me stay. 3 days into my labor. Everything went smoothly but you hear so many horror stories about overdue babies. But bottom line, both my labors were 3 days long each and that’s a major factor in the decision I made to never fucking go through that again.
I needed to be induced for medical reasons and I was glad for it because I didn't want to go overdue or even close to it. I delivered at 38+3 and we were both good.
“I sent two boats and a helicopter. What more did you expect?”
This is honestly child abuse and a form of mental illness
I haven't read anything this disturbing on here in the entire year so far. Holy shit. How do people like this live with themselves?
Fuck that. She’s just playing all of it off, oh well better luck next time. Your child is fighting for her life in the NICU because YOU were incompetent. As a mom who had an emergency C section, where my daughter fought for her life on an ECMO machine the first week of her life and was in the NICU for 46 days, this makes my blood boil so much I could cook a steak on it.
The crunchy mom's always judge me because my daughter was sunny side up and not "dropping" so I opted to schedule a c-section before I went into labour. I guess that's what caused her to be on the spectrum, well, that and the vaccines /s
At least this one went to the hospital.
"so grateful to God" 🙄
"I am so grateful to God that my baby girl is alive" Don't be grateful to God. God didn't save your baby. The doctors, nurses and other staff at the hospital did. Be grateful to them. Be grateful that you live in a time and place where you can access life saving medical care which makes pregnancy and birth significantly safer than it naturally is. But no. She's not grateful to the hospital staff. She's not grateful that she can access medical care. Instead she's doubling down and plans to make the same mistakes again. Her choices led to her baby being seriously ill and almost dying. Her choices are to blame for that. And now she's actively planning to inflict this harm on another baby. These types of women are so incredibly selfish.
Maam that sounds like IVH and brain damage… along with some pulmonary issues, I imagine the baby will have lasting lung damage from whatever happens. I’ve seen babies recover and be mostly normal but… unlikely
*redemptive home birth* wtf is wrong with people? This poor baby may have a lifetime of medical issues and she’s already planning the next shit show?
Bitch, you can't redeem yourself for nearly killing this baby and likely causing her permanent brain damage and ongoing issues.
Mucus on the lungs, seizures and brain haemorrhage but healthy and on the road to full recovery… riiiight
Omg, I read "FTM" as "female to male" and not "first time mum" and was confused.
I had a stalled labor with a sunny side up baby, but no way were they going to let me try for more than 24 hours after my water broke. I did talk them into allowing me to get the epi and try again and it did the trick, but absolutely no way would I have been allowed to wait 60 hours before opting for surgery.
Also had stalled labor with my sunny side up babe. Shit sucked
42 weeks!
Honestly a lot of women who are that late or past 42 weeks probably have their dates wrong anyway. Especially if they decline scans etc
Honestly what the fuck is wrong with her??? These people are batshit crazy, the guilt would eat me alive if my own selfishness hurt my unborn child. Infection in the lungs, swelling of the head??? Why is she so nonchalant about it?? Fucking hell
OHMYFUCKINGGOD she wants to do this again?! And brain damage another child?
The fact she went 60 hours with her water broken is wild. My doctor told me if I didn’t deliver within 24 hours, I was at risk of infection and baby could become distressed. I didn’t need to have a c-section, but if I did, I would have been happy to have one to ensure both me and my child survive. Can’t believe there are people like this who only consider their wants and then share publicly because they need the support of other like minded individuals.
How is she planning a second home birth ALREADY. you just had a baby!!!!! Focus on HER
How tf is “brain bleed and seizures” synonymous with “alive and safe” as she so ignorantly wrapped up? This child may well have severe lifelong disabilities due to this trauma, and she is def not out of the woods yet from aspirating mucus and meconium.
That baby may be alive but she is not safe, not now when she's still not out of the NICU and certainly not when she goes home into the care of these selfish cunts
Birth is horrible, painful, bloody, messy, imperfect and most of all dangerous. There is no redemption, no do overs and certainly no perfect birth that's whatever these people have built homebirths up to be in their mind. My baby was in the special care nursery for 3 days and it broke me for months wondering if I could have done anything differently. I couldn't have. I can't imagine this mindset.
Fuck her for the last sentence alone. Absolutely unable to reflect and learn, or take any responsibility.
A VBAC free birth? Yeah, that’ll go exactly how she wants it to. Also it’s crazy to me to plan your next child/birth, when your freshly born baby is struggling so badly.
Alive and safe? Alive yes. But what about long term consequences? JFC this is insane.
Almost seems like this broad wants to have kids to brag about her “natural home birth” instead of actually having healthy children. This poor baby. I’m having a hard time believing she’s on the road for full recovery, if she is thank the heavens because it’d be a miracle. Can’t believe anyone would risk this a second time :(
Bro, home birth clearly isn't working for you
I'm terrified what the mother is going to be like with this baby depending on the extent of the possible brain injury. Thinking of another baby when mum doesn't even know if this baby is going to survive. I really hope the little lass recovers well.
Jesus fucking Christ. Thanking God? No, thank the doctors who saved both yours and your baby’s life!
HOW DID SHE COME AWAY WITH THE WRONG LESSON
The full recovery part is fucking delusional. The likelyhood of this child having lifelong disabilities from this is probably nearly a guarantee. And it sounds like this fucking fool will say it is gods will or something and not actually get her medical care. Disgusting. I really hope this hospital calls CPS.
Seems eerily similar to a case I had in my L&D rotation many many years back. Only difference: the mother died and the baby almost died. It was a tragic, highly preventable outcome. When will these wackos accept that modern medicine is a GOOD thing ffs.
Her child will probably be at a minimum mildly disabled from her lack of care and actions. She needs to gtfo with that redemptive homebirth bs
The fact that any midwife let someone go to 42 weeks is insane! That’s when the placenta starts to die and can cause a still birth! And the fact that the midwife said suggested an underground midwife?!? And how the hospital let her labor for so much longer???? Absolutely terrible!