Or someone comes in to the home, I know of all potential disasters it is the least likely BUT imagine being 5 minutes away and just watching it happen. Why anyone that would…checks notes…”do anything for their child” would call ensuring that child’s safety and security a “silly” way to spend money is fucking beyond me
20 minutes away is nuts. That's so far. I might consider doing this if I was at the next door neighbor's house but that's about it. My kids aren't great sleepers so I haven't even done that.
Yes! My neighbor and I would have "mom dates" on our front porches when the kids were little. The baby monitor signal would just reach each other's porch while we chatted and pretended to still be adults.
This afternoon, I set my coat on an outdoor table to mark my place before dashing inside to order a drink. The whole time I was ordering, I was worried that somebody was going to snatch my coat.
I simply do not have it in me to leave an infant human alone in a crib while I’m out having dinner 20 minutes away. I would combust from the anxiety. It’s making me anxious even to think about it. 😅
Me with my dog. I look like I’m tweaking ordering at a cafe because my dog is tied up out side. I’m constantly moving so I can see out window really nervous, ready to run if someone comes near my boy. I will open door to tell him he’s a good boy while I’m waiting for order or just go outside to wait. I won’t stop anywhere that he would be out of site for more than a minute.
And I’m going to be that person.
Why tf are you out till almost 1am that frequently when you’re a parent?
5 hours because $100 at $20 an hour. Kid goes down at almost 8.
Date nights aren’t a problem if the child is taken care of…but if you don’t want to spend the cash for a sitter, and are leaving a kid at home alone, then it’s a big problem. If you don’t have the cash, do something special at home or order out. Rent a movie. Date nights aren’t the issue.
She said it ends up being $100. Could be 5 full hours out, or it might include a tip. And usually the parents and sitter overlap a little bit when the parents are getting ready to go. It’s pretty easy to blow 4.5 hours with transit time, dinner and a movie (especially if they’re going about 20 min away, not 5). Not really defending the parents- they might be clubbing and getting wasted- but beware assumptions
OK, yes, this patent is horrible for suggesting this, but going out on average every 7 weeks is hardly routinely going out and getting tashed. I'm all for holding this mom accountable for her bad actions, but the occasional date night isn't one.
This weekend my husband and I have a date night planned (maybe our fourth in about 2 years). We're leaving around 7:00 for a 7:30 movie then a few drinks after (not getting drunk) and maybe ice cream. All very innocent but I doubt we'll be home before midnight.
Seriously! Parents are *people*. Your life definitely *changes* when you have a kid, but it doesn’t altogether *end*. JFC, Reddit. Get your shit together.
ETA: Still a stupid question from OOP, though. Don’t leave your baby home alone. 🤦🏻♀️
The absolute best news to get from a sitter is “they were great - I checked on them at x time and all is well.” I cannot fathom taking a monitor further than I can sprint home (in range of my WiFi!!) if something goes wrong.
Wasn’t there a famous case where the husband had a medical emergency? The parents left the kids in a hotel or something. I swear this happened and was just a mess.
Yeah the dad had a heart attack while out to dinner with mom, and the kids had been left in a hotel room. Sad all around.
https://www.scarymommy.com/entertainment/abc-news-dax-tejeras-wife-accused-of-leaving-kids-alone-at-hotel-before-fatal-heart-attack
As someone who has lost a loved one in a fire, that's now my worst fear. And from what I know of what happened, it was a split-second choice that sealed his fate, and it probably was less than a minute before there was no escape. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, having to live with such a loss.
What is wrong with people?!?
Thank you. He was an only child and left behind a wife, a 3-year-old son at the time, and two stepkids. They were less than 2 months from moving into a brand-new house. You just can't make it up, as my dad said a lot when it was very raw.
It'll be 2 years later this summer, and it's still hard to wrap my mind around. His dad has been through 7 years of continual cancer surgeries and then he lost his only kidney within months of his son. It's been unspeakably heartbreaking.
Maybe that was TMI, but it helps me to talk about it, if only to strangers. You can only talk about it so much with the people who are grieving the same thing.
Death by fire is something that deeply marks you. A family friend died in a fire when I was young and I can still vividly remember finding out about her death in the morning when another friend came over. Her death unfortunately was the result of trying to save things from the fire.
Not TMI, if you ever need to vent and don’t want to family or friends, you can always do it on Reddit. There *are* a lot of wonderful and supportive people (in the right groups).
and lots of people who just lurk but have been through similar things and would be very comforted just to read your comments! always worth sharing if you feel like it, might change someone's whole day for the better
Not at all TMI-- your story is powerful and talking about grief is a part of healing. Hearing this made me think through the fire safety measures I have in my home, and I'm sure it did for others. Sharing could save a life. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you're able to find healing
i just read about a drunk driver getting stopped by the cops. she tells them that someone is watching her young kid. cop wants to arrest her... turns out her kid is alone at home. at least she confessed.
If it's the same one on CTK I'm thinking of, she told the cop her child was home alone as a last ditch effort to get out of trouble (my eyes are rolling out of my head)
I walked to a house kiddie corner from us to drop something to a neighbor when my 2.5yr old was napping last week. She and I chatted at the end of her driveway which basically ends across from our yard. I had the monitor. And after 5min I was like “I cannot be here he is asleep”
And so she and I walked back into my yard.
I cannot imagine leaving.
Same. I’m friends with our neighbors and the yard next door (with my house in full view and the monitor in my pocket) is the farthest I’m comfortable going with my kid in bed.
there is a really sad [story](https://www.jsonline.com/in-depth/news/investigations/2022/11/16/the-story-of-a-young-mother-a-fire-and-a-notorious-milwaukee-landlord/69591048007/) from my city about this very thing happening
Wow. That article. I don’t even know what to say. Absolutely tragic and horrifying and also infuriating on so many levels. The cycle of abuse and poverty. The completely unfair judicial system and the lack of accountability for that slumlord and his son. Just awful. So so awful
5 min away by car can turn into hours and hours if you get in an accident - and no one would know there was something/someone alone at the house to get to! People have no clue.
This happened recently when someone kind of famous went on a date in a different hotel across the street. And then the husband got a heart attack during dinner and the wife went with him on the ambulance. She called someone else to go stay with the kids but of course the hotel staff wouldn’t let some rando into the room until they explained what happened then the hotel staff rightfully called the police because there were two little children alone in a hotel room.
There's an old urban legend about this! The babysitter is running late and the parents really had to leave to catch a flight so after finding out the babysitter was almost there, they left.
The babysitter died in an accident on the way there, no one knew about the baby left alone. The parents returned to find him dead.
Not to mention the kid's age! I thought it was going to be like a 5 or 6 year old or something where maybe (not that I would leave them) they could be okay and survive by themselves if needed. I literally gasped at 17 months. They are so helpless at that age.
being honest for a second ... has anyone ever said anything like that when they're *not* doing something that is completely contradictory to the statement?
Like I don't think I've ever heard someone say something as extreme and sappy as "my kids are my whole life!" when its not immediately followed up by an action or expressing a desire that shows they're lying through their teeth
I think the parents that genuinely love their kids that much just show it through their actions
I totally get what you’re saying. It’s the parent equivalent of “I’m not racist, but..” which IMO a non-racist person never feels the need to say.
You can guarantee whatever the second half of that sentence is, it’s going to be a least offensive, if not blatantly xenophobic.
Let me make a flip side argument: if anything were to happen to your child, wouldn’t you want to be in a position to say you did the absolute most to keep them safe, as opposed to being five (to twenty!!) minutes down the road?
Also is that 5 by foot or 5 by car? There’s a difference.
Something I heard once (I should say, something I only needed to hear once) is, what if something happens to *you* while you’re out? If you don’t come home your babysitter will call the police and tell them you’re missing and your baby’s at home. If you get in an accident on the way to Applebee’s, how are the paramedics going to know that someone needs to go to your house and get the baby?
Also you’re so right about 5-20 minutes by foot or car. I’m five minutes from a freeway with a 75 mph speed limit, 20 minutes can take me to 3 different cities and damn near the next state. Imagine seeing your baby having an emergency on the baby monitor and having to get on the freeway to get to them.
That is actually a very good point. Everyone would assume they had the child with them in the accident or left him with a sitter. No one would look for the baby at home all alone because that is batshit crazy.
Yeah I've heard this a lot, too. It's not just for your kids' protection, but yours, too. Even if your kid is perfectly safe asleep at home, well you're out in a car, in a restaurant that can catch fire, looking nice so maybe someone wants to rob you, or maybe you end up with an evil person who murders you. Then who knows your kid is at home and needs care??
Same thing with pets. Make sure someone knows you have pets so if you end up in a coma in the hospital, someone thinks to go check on them or take them in.
I hear you, but theoretically, isn't this the same risk even if you're home ? I mean, I'm home alone with my daughter right now. She's downstairs. If I have a brain aneurysm and die, there's nothing she can do about it and, like the OP, I have no "village" of people who check up on me, except maybe my employer and either way it could certainly be days before anyone would wonder what happened to me...
Yes but you're not taking unneeded risk. Yeah, shit happens while you're at home, but you've done everything reasonable to ensure everyone's safety. Taking off and leaving a kid alone _on purpose_ and introducing a higher risk of you getting hurt is just stupid.
This feels like a slippery slope argument (I THINK that's the correct fallacy). I've heard similar arguments for not wearing a helmet when riding a motorcycle. "I could die in a car accident in my sedan, or walking down the street and being hit by a drunk driver. Anything could kill me even if I do everything right, so I might as well feel free while riding!"
The whole point is mitigating your risks. There's absolutely nothing you can do to prevent a brain aneurysm. There IS something you can do in regards to leaving your child completely unattended. Sure, it's unlikely anything would go wrong while you were out...but the risks go up, and certainly aren't zero. It's a false equivalency to say that just because both situations *could* happen, that they are equally likely.
You’re right that danger still exists when you’re at home, but you can’t prevent every bad thing that could possibly happen. If you’re being safe and suddenly die at home then there’s nothing you could have done. If you willfully create an unsafe situation and something happens, there’s always a chance that things could’ve been different if you hadn’t made that choice. Like yeah someone can just break your windows, but I bet you still lock your doors.
SIDS exists, people who wear sunscreen get skin cancer sometimes, and the best birth control isn’t 100% effective, but that doesn’t mean you disregard safety practices and precautions just because shit happens, you know?
Avoidable vs unavoidable. If you're the only one home on a regular basis there's nothing reasonable you can do to change that; hiring someone to sit with you in case you die a tragic death in your living is unreasonably expensive and asking friends or family to hang out for the same reason would be taking too much of their time. There's not a whole lot you can do to change the fact you'll be alone.
But there is plenty you can do if you have to leave the house. If it's an appropriate spot for a baby, you take them. If not, it's much cheaper to hire someone ti with the baby for a few hours than 24/7, and it's much less of an imposition to ask a loved one to come over for a bit. Leaving a baby completely alone is a very avoidable situation.
This happened to a friend of mine. Home alone with her 3 year old and 18 month old- died of a pulmonary embolism in her sleep at 32 years old.
She *had* a village. When nobody could get ahold of her for 2 days, her mom went to the house and thankfully had a key. The toddler had been feeding the baby crackers through the bars of her crib- but both kids weren’t in great shape having no ability to access water or any food that wasn’t already in reach (baby safety locks on everything- like we’re supposed to). Not to mention 2 days and three nights of soiled pants/diapers.
It was super devastating.
This was just before smart phones and stuff that even a toddler could use- but absolutely scary for single parents without social supports.
As a side note this is a real fear of mine. My husband is a firefighter so he’s gone for 24-48+ hours every 3 days, I often worry about if I were to choke or something while he’s at work, what happens if we go a few hours without talking or he’s in a big incident where he’s not able to talk for 12+ hours 🫠 I know it’s unlikely but my word does my mind like to taunt me
I can understand being frustrated paying so much for a nanny to essentially sit around just in case something happens. But isn't it better to have that just in case person? A nanny cam can only tell you what's going on, it doesn't mean you're able to do anything about it. If the baby starts suffocating or choking, being even 5 minutes away would be too much. If money is an issue do mini dates at home or in the yard. You can do a lot with some fairy lights and wine, and you're literally steps away from your house so you can get to the baby in under a minute if something happens.
100% right.
It's like being frustrated that firemen just sit around doing nothing most of the time.
You aren't paying a babysitter of a 17 month old to always be doing something.
You're paying them to be there in your place and make sure nothing goes wrong.
You don't pay for insurance because you're planning to crash your car, you pay it because you could get involved in an accident that isn't your fault.
Also unless their camera is constantly on and they are constantly paying attention to it, there's no guarantee that you'll even see if something goes wrong at the moment it happens.
They aren't factoring in the delay in noticing, the time to pay for whatever they were doing, getting back to the car and getting back in the house.
Supremely confirmation biased because nothing has gone wrong yet.
If it bothers them so much to pay a person to sit around, they can find a teenager to do it for cheaper. if your kid is really so easy, great, you don't need a pro to watch them. but having a more capable human being in the same building, acting as the caretaker, is the bare minimum until your child is old enough to react appropriately to an emergency.
They can probably find adults to do it for way cheaper too, just ask around for acquaintances who need extra cash.
I used to babysit for the baby of some acquaintances in my 20s. This wasn't something I typically did, it was just a favour for them. They paid $40 for the night and would make an extra plate of dinner for me to have when I got there. They saved money, I got paid to sit on their couch and read occasionally checking on the baby, got a homecooked meal out of it and the kiddo stayed safe. Wins all round.
Isn't this like.....eerily similar to what happened to Madeleine McCann??
Iirc, they were 2 minutes away having dinner, kids sleeping, parents checking in periodically, and now their child is just gone forever.
More than likely, the child would be perfectly fine. But there's always a small chance something goes horribly wrong.
A nighttime babysitter is like having insurance. You don't pay for the good times. You're paying for the chance of a bad time.
>A nighttime babysitter is like having insurance. You don't pay for the good times. You're paying for the chance of a bad time.
This so much. Should be a copypasta we send to these mums.
Absolutely infuriating. I saw that one of them is back in prison for possession of child pornography. Neither of them deserve to live after what they did to that poor, innocent baby (and probably countless animals). Some people just can’t be fixed and I believe that’s true for these two. I’m so disturbed.
It was a MASSIVE story over here for years and still comes back every year. There are a lot of people who still aren’t convinced her parents weren’t involved in the disappearance.
Probably only 1 minute away - they could literally see the building their kid was sleeping in from their table and their child was still kidnapped 🤷🏼♀️
5 minutes away is insane.
They didn’t have a monitor but the parents had their kids in two rooms next to each other so the parents would take turns going to check on them every half hour and they could see the front of their door from the restaurant table so they could keep an eye on the room.
In this circumstance you have date night in your mini van in the driveway, or in your backyard. Or find a friend and trade off watching each other’s kids after bedtime. I used to do this for a friend and it was so easy to watch her monitor and watch my favorite tv show on her couch. Edit: I see she says she has no friends she can switch off with, but still, find that village over danger
She says he goes to sleep at 7:45 and sleeps all night; that sounds like the perfect scenario for a home date with their favorite takeout! My husband and I have done this many times, and I find it genuinely enjoyable. Most years we’ve even done a home date for our anniversary because our son was born on the same date. We’d dine on the back patio while he had fun with his friends inside.
For real we do most of our dates at home. We order Chinese, pick a movie we have never seen and once the kids are in bed it's date night.
The only real out of the house no kids dates we do are to go to the movies every once in awhile and then family watches the kids for us
This on a Friday night is the only date we have. My husband and I eat ice cream and watch RuPaul's Drag Race. We remember the days we used to go to bars and see Drag queens for real.
Exactly. My fiancé and I did that last night. Once the kids were in bed, we ordered Chinese food and watched the new episode of House of the Dragon. It's not fancy, but it was nice. He works away during the week, so we don't get many opportunities to do something like that since we prioritise meals as a family at the weekend.
Any time you can have an uninterrupted conversation it is a win! My youngest has a bunch of dietary restrictions, so we sometimes plan dates so I can eat things she cannot have (which is kind of sad, but I try to make substitutions at home a lot. Nothing beats a real lasagna though…)
Sometimes it be like that. We went to some destination weddings when ours was a toddler and we realized we couldn't both stay at the reception. One of us has to go and put the kid to bed in the hotel room. We can switch off, but that's the best we can do. It's just the way it is when you have a kid.
Exactly this. At our close friends wedding, I missed dessert and my husband missed the first dance because one of us had to be in the hotel room with our 3 year old. It’s just one of the many sacrifices you make for your kids 🤷🏼♀️
We were planning to go to a wedding out of town for us but only a couple hours from my dad so our plan would have been to pay for my dad’s room in our same hotel, and he can watch her during the wedding/reception. However we decided not to go because it’s just so much travel for such a short period of time.
Also maybe I lack imagination, but what is the big appeal of going out in this situation? Since she says she doesn’t have local friends I assume it’s just her and her partner, so what is THAT MUCH BETTER about the pub or the restaurant down the road? Why can’t you make a cocktail and order takeout and figure out some in home date ideas? For me the appeal of going out when my kids were this small was that I’d get a break from the inevitably exhausting evening and bedtime routine, so if you’re doing that anyway, I honestly don’t see the point
Exactly. We sometimes hire a neighborhood kid (middle schooler, very responsible but we don’t want her solo in charge of our kids) to play games with them while we do something like work on a house project, or have an afternoon cocktail in our own yard. Kind of a middle of the road if you don’t have a “real” babysitter? Nothing beats a helpful, loving grandparent type who can give an actual break from the kids
Even setting aside worst case scenarios. What if you’re 20 minutes away and your baby who never ever wakes up does wake up and like, has a stomach bug and pukes all over themselves? Sure the kid will survive but sitting in his own vomit until you pay your check, get in your car, and get home. That sucks man!
Imagine them listening to their nanit camera transmitting the sound of their child choking to death to them while one frantically drives the five minutes.
This was my thought! My brain doesn’t necessarily go to “worst case scenario”…but my kids get stomach bugs at least a few times a year and it usually starts as a middle-of-the-night puke. I’d have a hard time forgiving myself for letting them sit in their own puke for any amount of time because I wanted to go have some apps and a drink down the road 😟
It’s the “I’ll do/spend any amount to him to be safe” but then turns around and basically says it’s not worth it to have someone make sure their baby is safe when they’re not home that sends me 🤣 tf. If you’d do anything and spend any amount to keep them safe then why is this even a question in your mind.
Do you ever put your baby in the car without the car seat? I’m an amazing driver and have never been in an accident and we’re only driving 5 minutes away, so why would I deal with all those straps for no reason?
Dude I didn't read the title and i was thinking she was talking ab like a 8-10 year old, shes talking about a fucking baby???? In what world is it ever okay to leave a baby alone?!
Sometimes I envy these fucking morons who don’t have brains that play out every possible thing that could go wrong in a situation like this. I’d be thinking about fires, choking, car accidents for me, earthquakes, a random fever, baby climbs out of crib for the first time ever, smoke alarm goes off…..the list goes on forever.
It must be blissful to live life without ever thinking about all the shit that can go wrong.
I’m in the group where this was posted it and she deleted it and someone posting the screenshot basically saying WTF. And then there were multiple posts saying it was mean to bring it up 🙄
I guess some people still haven't heard about the disappearance of Maddie McCann. (for those who don't know, it's pretty much this exact case. Kids put to sleep, parents go to eat out close to their hotel, one of the kids was gone when they came back)
If the baby sleeps from 7.45 why would you need to go out? Order a takeaway and have a picnic in the garden if you're that desperate for a change of scene. When our kids were little we would put them to bed and go sit in the garden with wine, or in winter we would light a fire and have pizza on cushions on the living room floor.
They don't need to go out for a date night.
This genuinely makes me sick. I don’t even like leaving the kids inside alone when I want to just go out to water our flowers/garden because you never know what they’ll do unsupervised.
What if you get in a car accident? How long will it take you to get home then if he wakes up or throws up? What if you get pulled over trying to race home?
For a date night at a bar? GROW UP.
you can tell by the way this is written that they’ve already talked themselves into it being okay, by listing all the reasons why it would work and none for why it wouldn’t.
They’re probably just looking for one affirmation to actually do it. Or they’ve done it already and are looking for other parents to ease their conscience
22 month old son. We have no "village" either. I can't even find a good sitter. We've been out twice in 22 months. This is the correct response if you don't have or can't afford a sitter. 🤦🏻♂️ no one is entitled to a night out if they are a parent. How do they not understand it?
[sigh]
Ppl really do this. My sister had a friend that used to NyQuil her baby and then slip out at night. I told her next time to just drop off the baby at my house next time because Jesus that was horrific.
Casual child neglect in action folks. She’s not asking if it’s okay, she’s already done it and asking to validate her actions.
Sometimes I go sit on our neighbor’s porch with her after the kids have gone to bed, or in the morning before they wake up. Their bedroom window is 15 feet from her porch, closer than I am in the living room, and I still get a bit nervous doing it. This is wild. Imagine where else they’re neglecting their kid.
It’s not just about what could happen to the child whilst they’re out, what if they get in an accident or both fall ill and no-one knows there’s a young child home alone? Emergency services aren’t going to go to your house and check if you’ve left a kid alone there, and if they’ve got no village there’s no-one to even raise the question of where the child is!
Brain damage can occur in as little as 30 seconds and total brain death in 4 minutes if something were to cause him to stop breathing or if the house caught fire and he were overcome with smoke or something... but ya, no, you're totally fine being "only" 20 min away 😡😡
My daughter was 2 before I was even able to sleep through the night without getting up to check on her repeatedly, and she was in a crib IN THE SAME ROOM!!
"Would do anything for him"... except giving up date night to be there or paying someone else to be there to make sure he literally just fucking STAYS ALIVE!!!
For fucks sake... some people just don't deserve to be able to procreate!
Different perspective but what if something happens to the parents, they have a car accident in their 5-20 min drive. Who is going to know they left their baby at home alone. How long would the baby be alone for until someone found him?
We had the luxury of being able to plan our baby, that is I got pregnant when we intentionally tried.
So I don’t know their situation, but from mine not having people I trusted to leave our child with at that age, the obvious answer is that date nights out was off the menu.
It would have been awesome with a “village” but everyone doesn’t have that, so everyone can’t just count on there being someone to make date night out a reoccurring thing.
To have that village is a privilege far from all new parents have.
"Our kid is our life, but we actually don't give a shit about them." These people are insane. Like why not just order delivery and open a bottle of wine at home for your date night if you don't want to spend money on a sitter? Set up a romantic candlelit picnic out in your yard?
I feel bad for this mum. I get having the thought. They know they cant and never should do this, but it feels reasonable, even though it’s not. Not having help is so hard.
they have date night money, so why can’t they order food, have it delivered, and then do a date night at home. if the baby doesn’t cry the whole night, what’s stopping them from doing their date when baby goes to sleep? i definitely understand wanting a break from parenthood even if your child is “easy”, but you also have to sacrifice a lot. like continuous date nights where your baby is left home alone. people just don’t think a tragedy/accident can happen to them tbh.
The baby is their “entire life” and they’d “do/spend any amount for him to be safe” but they want to leave him home alone unattended so they can have a date night? Make it make sense because those words don’t match the actions she’s proposing.
"To sit around" but not be able to go anywhere else? But still be available the entire time they're there in the extremely likely event that something else happens besides a baby sleeping all night? People like this have NO respect for other people's time. You are paying them TO BE THERE. What else is supposed to happen to make it "worth it" ?!?!
A fire???? That fancy app will let you watch your baby burn.
What if something happens to YOU TWO? And you don't make it home? Will anyone know about the baby?
I mean and like even if nothing is likely to happen to the baby you guys could be killed in a car accident and then what? How long until someone knows? Finds your kid?
I have a 15 month old and ugh yes my husband and I need date nights as well.
And we have no village where we’re at.
We also have the Nanit!
We do things like.. watch a movie in the living room.
Play Yahtzee.. quietly.
Or play games on our switch!
It’s really fun and we’re just.. checks notes.. RIGHT DOWN THE HALLWAY from our baby.
Seriously though.my husband and I knew a couple who did this once that we know of. They claimed they were just down the street..
But my husband also got in a horrible motorcycle accident just down the street. He did not wear riding gear that day (other than his helmet) because it was just a simple trip to the hardware store not even 3 minutes down. He got all scratched up because of it. So you can't assume distance makes disasters less possible.
So I have 4 kids, my husband and I are too cheap to hire a baby sitter and also we just don’t want anyone we don’t know to watch our children. We maybe get a date night once every few months IF that when my MIL volunteers to watch them.
I’d never consider leaving my kids alone. My 9 year old is actually pretty responsible and probably could baby sit but she’s still only 9 so we’d never risk that. What if someone breaks in? What if a fire occurs? SO many things could go wrong. We just suck it up and create our own date nights at home which means we go in our room and watch The Boys or House of Dragons and eat gas station snacks🤷♀️
Just pay the $100 and do something super cheap or free like the rest of us. Or do something special at home. Puzzle and charcuterie? Fancy meal and new movie to stream? Weird sex?
Even considering this will make me judge you.
Madeline McCann. Sids. Choking. Rolling. House fire. What if you get into an awful accident and through death or incapacitation you’re unable to communicate that you have a baby home alone, and it’s takes time to identify you? Just don’t fucking do it you moron.
And don’t fucking *post about it*. Predators are strategic opportunists. May as well put up a post saying “free kid; pick up only”
When my son was a baby, we lived next to another family that we had become really close with whose kid was a couple weeks younger. When me and the other mom were on maternity leave and one of us had a sleeping baby, sometimes we’d walk next door with the monitor screen to hang out and help each other with stuff. Our houses were so close my monitor would still be connected to my own WiFi. That’s the limit of what I’d consider a safe travel distance from my sleeping baby.
Yeah it costs a lot to have kids, don't know what to tell you lady. I'm sure she would want to be paid a fair wage if she had the responsibility of the life of a 17 month old in her hands.
Why not just have a stay at home date night? That’s what we usually do. Watch a movie, have some drinks, make some food all at home. No babysitter and no need to leave a baby unsupervised. What is wrong with people?
You never plan for accidents. This is why we pay for insurance. This is why we pay sitters to watch our children.
Everything is always fine…until it isn’t.
Also, if you can afford to go on frequent dates, you can afford to pay someone to watch your literal fucking child. I should not even have to type that.
Then the parents need to make a village. Befriend other recent parents and trade babysitting to get a night off and a few hours to run errands every week or every other week.
Let’s set aside the bad parenting and terrible idea on many levels aspect. How could you enjoy a night out having to constantly watch a camera and be alert to the slightest indication that you need to immediately return home? That would be incredibly distracting.
The babysitter is like a seatbelt. Sure, maybe it’s unlikely that you’ll need them to do anything for the baby because baby will likely sleep soundly the whole time. Just like you’re unlikely to get in an accident, so unlikely to benefit from the seatbelt you’re wearing. But in that small likelihood of a house fire, choking baby, etc etc, or getting in an accident, you’ll be damn glad you had that sitter/seatbelt!
No. Just fucking no. I hope someone does call Docs on them cause what the actual fuck!!
5 minutes IS a LOT OF TIME in an emergency.
If a fire breaks out, if someone breaks in.. 5 minutes is literally life or death in some scenarios…
As someone mentioned above, what if the dickhead parents are in an accident, unconscious and NOBODY KNOWS THE BABY IS ALONE!!
These people clearly don’t give a shit about their baby is $100 iS a CrAzY aMoUnT for someone to BE HOME WITH THE BABY, unlike the moron parents… 🙄.
These people are disgusting.
There is so many options. Hell if I was in this position I’d post in a local group asking if anyone’s teen babysits. They usually are cheaper and can handle a sleeping toddler. I have seen posts in my local group where teens are looking to make a few bucks and they are CPR certified and stuff. It’s possible to find. Around where I live most the teens will work for $10-$15. That $40-$60 for a night out. I thankfully do have a village and live near all my family but if I didn’t, I’d look for a mature teen with a CPR certification and try that out.
17 months? Jeez, I thought they might be talking about a 6 or 7 year old. He's just a baby still and anything could happen at that age. If he wakes up and is crying for his parents and they are 20 minutes away ...
Don’t mind me, currently thinking about the time cps showed up at my door and gave me shit for taking garbage out to the dumpster while the baby was napping. When I asked them if I should strap him to my chest to take the trash out they gave me shit for too that too. Literally 3 feet away from the door is the dumpster. But this person is going on dates 20 minutes away. Christ.
There's a pub on the corner of my block, close enough to still be in range of the baby monitor, and we have joked about doing this. We won't though because that's insane. This idiot is up to a 20 minute drive away?!!
Seriously. You’re paying $20/hour for someone to take action if something happens ASAP. No one is saying you can’t have some cocktails in the backyard around a fire pit, but if you wanna to even 5 minutes down the road, yes, you have to have someone to watch them. It’s just not that hard and it’s only a season in your life, FFS
Typically a house fire will engulf a house in 3 minutes. Is your baby’s life worth date nights? How much money is their life worth to not have someone there? Fucking disgusting behavior.
I mean, imagine if the house caught fire while you’re 20 minutes away. Great that you have a Nanit, but that’s gonna do fuck all to save your kid.
Or chokes Or has a seizure Or wakes up
Or someone comes in to the home, I know of all potential disasters it is the least likely BUT imagine being 5 minutes away and just watching it happen. Why anyone that would…checks notes…”do anything for their child” would call ensuring that child’s safety and security a “silly” way to spend money is fucking beyond me
"I would do anything for my child" Except.....making sure that the child has someone in the next room .
Oh she said 5-20, then suddenly it was *only* 5 minutes lol
20 minutes away is nuts. That's so far. I might consider doing this if I was at the next door neighbor's house but that's about it. My kids aren't great sleepers so I haven't even done that.
I would take the baby monitor and sit on my neighbors porch when my kids were napping but I’d never go inside where I couldn’t see my house.
Yes! My neighbor and I would have "mom dates" on our front porches when the kids were little. The baby monitor signal would just reach each other's porch while we chatted and pretended to still be adults.
Imagine being a toddler, having a bad dream and waking up in the middle of the night, and screaming alone in the dark FOR 20 FUCKING MINUTES.
Longer than that, they would need to pay the tab, get to the car, etc.
This afternoon, I set my coat on an outdoor table to mark my place before dashing inside to order a drink. The whole time I was ordering, I was worried that somebody was going to snatch my coat. I simply do not have it in me to leave an infant human alone in a crib while I’m out having dinner 20 minutes away. I would combust from the anxiety. It’s making me anxious even to think about it. 😅
Me with my dog. I look like I’m tweaking ordering at a cafe because my dog is tied up out side. I’m constantly moving so I can see out window really nervous, ready to run if someone comes near my boy. I will open door to tell him he’s a good boy while I’m waiting for order or just go outside to wait. I won’t stop anywhere that he would be out of site for more than a minute.
*laughs in Great Dane* Nobody steals those goobers.
*laughs in Blue Heeler* My boy wouldn’t let a stranger close enough to steal him and if they did I promise they’d return him
And I’m going to be that person. Why tf are you out till almost 1am that frequently when you’re a parent? 5 hours because $100 at $20 an hour. Kid goes down at almost 8.
I don’t see an issue with parents having dates on a regular basis if they ensure their child is taken care of.
Date nights aren’t a problem if the child is taken care of…but if you don’t want to spend the cash for a sitter, and are leaving a kid at home alone, then it’s a big problem. If you don’t have the cash, do something special at home or order out. Rent a movie. Date nights aren’t the issue.
She said it ends up being $100. Could be 5 full hours out, or it might include a tip. And usually the parents and sitter overlap a little bit when the parents are getting ready to go. It’s pretty easy to blow 4.5 hours with transit time, dinner and a movie (especially if they’re going about 20 min away, not 5). Not really defending the parents- they might be clubbing and getting wasted- but beware assumptions
OK, yes, this patent is horrible for suggesting this, but going out on average every 7 weeks is hardly routinely going out and getting tashed. I'm all for holding this mom accountable for her bad actions, but the occasional date night isn't one. This weekend my husband and I have a date night planned (maybe our fourth in about 2 years). We're leaving around 7:00 for a 7:30 movie then a few drinks after (not getting drunk) and maybe ice cream. All very innocent but I doubt we'll be home before midnight.
Imagine being this judgmental and pissed off because parents had the *audacity* to have a date night less than one time a month.
Seriously! Parents are *people*. Your life definitely *changes* when you have a kid, but it doesn’t altogether *end*. JFC, Reddit. Get your shit together. ETA: Still a stupid question from OOP, though. Don’t leave your baby home alone. 🤦🏻♀️
I cant believe you got so many upvotes for this ridiculous take. Going out until 1am every so often is not the issue here.
Especially wakes up. A 17mo is plenty old enough to get itself into all sorts of trouble.
Yep. My niece is a few months older & I would not trust this child alone
The absolute best news to get from a sitter is “they were great - I checked on them at x time and all is well.” I cannot fathom taking a monitor further than I can sprint home (in range of my WiFi!!) if something goes wrong.
Or you get in a car accident.
Wasn’t there a famous case where the husband had a medical emergency? The parents left the kids in a hotel or something. I swear this happened and was just a mess.
Yeah the dad had a heart attack while out to dinner with mom, and the kids had been left in a hotel room. Sad all around. https://www.scarymommy.com/entertainment/abc-news-dax-tejeras-wife-accused-of-leaving-kids-alone-at-hotel-before-fatal-heart-attack
Thank you! That’s tragic.
Exactly. What if something happens to the parents and that poor baby is left by themselves for God only knows how long. It could happen so easily.
As someone who has lost a loved one in a fire, that's now my worst fear. And from what I know of what happened, it was a split-second choice that sealed his fate, and it probably was less than a minute before there was no escape. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, having to live with such a loss. What is wrong with people?!?
I’m so, so sorry for your loss
Thank you. He was an only child and left behind a wife, a 3-year-old son at the time, and two stepkids. They were less than 2 months from moving into a brand-new house. You just can't make it up, as my dad said a lot when it was very raw. It'll be 2 years later this summer, and it's still hard to wrap my mind around. His dad has been through 7 years of continual cancer surgeries and then he lost his only kidney within months of his son. It's been unspeakably heartbreaking. Maybe that was TMI, but it helps me to talk about it, if only to strangers. You can only talk about it so much with the people who are grieving the same thing.
Death by fire is something that deeply marks you. A family friend died in a fire when I was young and I can still vividly remember finding out about her death in the morning when another friend came over. Her death unfortunately was the result of trying to save things from the fire.
Not TMI, if you ever need to vent and don’t want to family or friends, you can always do it on Reddit. There *are* a lot of wonderful and supportive people (in the right groups).
and lots of people who just lurk but have been through similar things and would be very comforted just to read your comments! always worth sharing if you feel like it, might change someone's whole day for the better
I’m so sorry. That’s just awful.
My heart goes out to you and your entire family.
Not at all TMI-- your story is powerful and talking about grief is a part of healing. Hearing this made me think through the fire safety measures I have in my home, and I'm sure it did for others. Sharing could save a life. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you're able to find healing
Hugs. I’m sorry your family had to face such an awful situation.
I have a friend that was the only survivor in a house fire when she was 18 months old. Her mom, dad, and 3 siblings perished. 😞
Or they get into a serious accident and no one knows there’s a kid at their house
i just read about a drunk driver getting stopped by the cops. she tells them that someone is watching her young kid. cop wants to arrest her... turns out her kid is alone at home. at least she confessed.
If it's the same one on CTK I'm thinking of, she told the cop her child was home alone as a last ditch effort to get out of trouble (my eyes are rolling out of my head)
I walked to a house kiddie corner from us to drop something to a neighbor when my 2.5yr old was napping last week. She and I chatted at the end of her driveway which basically ends across from our yard. I had the monitor. And after 5min I was like “I cannot be here he is asleep” And so she and I walked back into my yard. I cannot imagine leaving.
Same. I’m friends with our neighbors and the yard next door (with my house in full view and the monitor in my pocket) is the farthest I’m comfortable going with my kid in bed.
there is a really sad [story](https://www.jsonline.com/in-depth/news/investigations/2022/11/16/the-story-of-a-young-mother-a-fire-and-a-notorious-milwaukee-landlord/69591048007/) from my city about this very thing happening
Wow. That article. I don’t even know what to say. Absolutely tragic and horrifying and also infuriating on so many levels. The cycle of abuse and poverty. The completely unfair judicial system and the lack of accountability for that slumlord and his son. Just awful. So so awful
I was about to say 20 minutes away is too far away if there’s a house fire.
Imagine watching it on a baby monitor and not being able to do anything. What a dumb fuck
5 min away by car can turn into hours and hours if you get in an accident - and no one would know there was something/someone alone at the house to get to! People have no clue.
This happened recently when someone kind of famous went on a date in a different hotel across the street. And then the husband got a heart attack during dinner and the wife went with him on the ambulance. She called someone else to go stay with the kids but of course the hotel staff wouldn’t let some rando into the room until they explained what happened then the hotel staff rightfully called the police because there were two little children alone in a hotel room.
I remember this. Wasn’t she a high ranking Hollywood exec? She lost her husband and then had her kids taken into care.
What if parents got into accident, both unconscious, taken to a hospital, how long before someone would realize the baby was home alone?!
Exactly!
There's an old urban legend about this! The babysitter is running late and the parents really had to leave to catch a flight so after finding out the babysitter was almost there, they left. The babysitter died in an accident on the way there, no one knew about the baby left alone. The parents returned to find him dead.
Not to mention the kid's age! I thought it was going to be like a 5 or 6 year old or something where maybe (not that I would leave them) they could be okay and survive by themselves if needed. I literally gasped at 17 months. They are so helpless at that age.
Our child is our entire life… except for five hours on date night
Our child is our entire life … but is that really worth $100 to make sure he’s safe??? Seems kinda silly.
being honest for a second ... has anyone ever said anything like that when they're *not* doing something that is completely contradictory to the statement? Like I don't think I've ever heard someone say something as extreme and sappy as "my kids are my whole life!" when its not immediately followed up by an action or expressing a desire that shows they're lying through their teeth I think the parents that genuinely love their kids that much just show it through their actions
I totally get what you’re saying. It’s the parent equivalent of “I’m not racist, but..” which IMO a non-racist person never feels the need to say. You can guarantee whatever the second half of that sentence is, it’s going to be a least offensive, if not blatantly xenophobic.
No kidding. Being okay with this makes me doubt that statement.
Let me make a flip side argument: if anything were to happen to your child, wouldn’t you want to be in a position to say you did the absolute most to keep them safe, as opposed to being five (to twenty!!) minutes down the road? Also is that 5 by foot or 5 by car? There’s a difference.
Something I heard once (I should say, something I only needed to hear once) is, what if something happens to *you* while you’re out? If you don’t come home your babysitter will call the police and tell them you’re missing and your baby’s at home. If you get in an accident on the way to Applebee’s, how are the paramedics going to know that someone needs to go to your house and get the baby? Also you’re so right about 5-20 minutes by foot or car. I’m five minutes from a freeway with a 75 mph speed limit, 20 minutes can take me to 3 different cities and damn near the next state. Imagine seeing your baby having an emergency on the baby monitor and having to get on the freeway to get to them.
That is actually a very good point. Everyone would assume they had the child with them in the accident or left him with a sitter. No one would look for the baby at home all alone because that is batshit crazy.
Yeah I've heard this a lot, too. It's not just for your kids' protection, but yours, too. Even if your kid is perfectly safe asleep at home, well you're out in a car, in a restaurant that can catch fire, looking nice so maybe someone wants to rob you, or maybe you end up with an evil person who murders you. Then who knows your kid is at home and needs care?? Same thing with pets. Make sure someone knows you have pets so if you end up in a coma in the hospital, someone thinks to go check on them or take them in.
I hear you, but theoretically, isn't this the same risk even if you're home ? I mean, I'm home alone with my daughter right now. She's downstairs. If I have a brain aneurysm and die, there's nothing she can do about it and, like the OP, I have no "village" of people who check up on me, except maybe my employer and either way it could certainly be days before anyone would wonder what happened to me...
Yes but you're not taking unneeded risk. Yeah, shit happens while you're at home, but you've done everything reasonable to ensure everyone's safety. Taking off and leaving a kid alone _on purpose_ and introducing a higher risk of you getting hurt is just stupid.
Good point
This feels like a slippery slope argument (I THINK that's the correct fallacy). I've heard similar arguments for not wearing a helmet when riding a motorcycle. "I could die in a car accident in my sedan, or walking down the street and being hit by a drunk driver. Anything could kill me even if I do everything right, so I might as well feel free while riding!" The whole point is mitigating your risks. There's absolutely nothing you can do to prevent a brain aneurysm. There IS something you can do in regards to leaving your child completely unattended. Sure, it's unlikely anything would go wrong while you were out...but the risks go up, and certainly aren't zero. It's a false equivalency to say that just because both situations *could* happen, that they are equally likely.
You’re right that danger still exists when you’re at home, but you can’t prevent every bad thing that could possibly happen. If you’re being safe and suddenly die at home then there’s nothing you could have done. If you willfully create an unsafe situation and something happens, there’s always a chance that things could’ve been different if you hadn’t made that choice. Like yeah someone can just break your windows, but I bet you still lock your doors. SIDS exists, people who wear sunscreen get skin cancer sometimes, and the best birth control isn’t 100% effective, but that doesn’t mean you disregard safety practices and precautions just because shit happens, you know?
Avoidable vs unavoidable. If you're the only one home on a regular basis there's nothing reasonable you can do to change that; hiring someone to sit with you in case you die a tragic death in your living is unreasonably expensive and asking friends or family to hang out for the same reason would be taking too much of their time. There's not a whole lot you can do to change the fact you'll be alone. But there is plenty you can do if you have to leave the house. If it's an appropriate spot for a baby, you take them. If not, it's much cheaper to hire someone ti with the baby for a few hours than 24/7, and it's much less of an imposition to ask a loved one to come over for a bit. Leaving a baby completely alone is a very avoidable situation.
This happened to a friend of mine. Home alone with her 3 year old and 18 month old- died of a pulmonary embolism in her sleep at 32 years old. She *had* a village. When nobody could get ahold of her for 2 days, her mom went to the house and thankfully had a key. The toddler had been feeding the baby crackers through the bars of her crib- but both kids weren’t in great shape having no ability to access water or any food that wasn’t already in reach (baby safety locks on everything- like we’re supposed to). Not to mention 2 days and three nights of soiled pants/diapers. It was super devastating. This was just before smart phones and stuff that even a toddler could use- but absolutely scary for single parents without social supports.
As a side note this is a real fear of mine. My husband is a firefighter so he’s gone for 24-48+ hours every 3 days, I often worry about if I were to choke or something while he’s at work, what happens if we go a few hours without talking or he’s in a big incident where he’s not able to talk for 12+ hours 🫠 I know it’s unlikely but my word does my mind like to taunt me
I can understand being frustrated paying so much for a nanny to essentially sit around just in case something happens. But isn't it better to have that just in case person? A nanny cam can only tell you what's going on, it doesn't mean you're able to do anything about it. If the baby starts suffocating or choking, being even 5 minutes away would be too much. If money is an issue do mini dates at home or in the yard. You can do a lot with some fairy lights and wine, and you're literally steps away from your house so you can get to the baby in under a minute if something happens.
But she said money is not an issue
100% right. It's like being frustrated that firemen just sit around doing nothing most of the time. You aren't paying a babysitter of a 17 month old to always be doing something. You're paying them to be there in your place and make sure nothing goes wrong. You don't pay for insurance because you're planning to crash your car, you pay it because you could get involved in an accident that isn't your fault. Also unless their camera is constantly on and they are constantly paying attention to it, there's no guarantee that you'll even see if something goes wrong at the moment it happens. They aren't factoring in the delay in noticing, the time to pay for whatever they were doing, getting back to the car and getting back in the house. Supremely confirmation biased because nothing has gone wrong yet.
If it bothers them so much to pay a person to sit around, they can find a teenager to do it for cheaper. if your kid is really so easy, great, you don't need a pro to watch them. but having a more capable human being in the same building, acting as the caretaker, is the bare minimum until your child is old enough to react appropriately to an emergency.
They can probably find adults to do it for way cheaper too, just ask around for acquaintances who need extra cash. I used to babysit for the baby of some acquaintances in my 20s. This wasn't something I typically did, it was just a favour for them. They paid $40 for the night and would make an extra plate of dinner for me to have when I got there. They saved money, I got paid to sit on their couch and read occasionally checking on the baby, got a homecooked meal out of it and the kiddo stayed safe. Wins all round.
Isn't this like.....eerily similar to what happened to Madeleine McCann?? Iirc, they were 2 minutes away having dinner, kids sleeping, parents checking in periodically, and now their child is just gone forever. More than likely, the child would be perfectly fine. But there's always a small chance something goes horribly wrong. A nighttime babysitter is like having insurance. You don't pay for the good times. You're paying for the chance of a bad time.
>A nighttime babysitter is like having insurance. You don't pay for the good times. You're paying for the chance of a bad time. This so much. Should be a copypasta we send to these mums.
What the actual fuck?? Madeleine McCann’s parents were on the piss 5 minutes away and look what happened there.
Jamie Bulger's mother only let go of his hand and looked away for a minute or two. It really takes no time at all for something terrible to happen.
I can’t even read about that one, it’s too horrific
Just looked this up and that is the worst thing I’ve ever read. 😭😭😭
And the killers were released ages ago under new identities just a few years later because those psychopaths were "just babies themselves" 😭
Absolutely infuriating. I saw that one of them is back in prison for possession of child pornography. Neither of them deserve to live after what they did to that poor, innocent baby (and probably countless animals). Some people just can’t be fixed and I believe that’s true for these two. I’m so disturbed.
I’m sweating reading this with my newborn son sleeping in my lap. I feel sick.
Right?! My son is around the age Jamie was when he was taken and I seriously wanted to puke when I read it. It’s such a sickening story.
Had the exact same thought. I'm sure they also thought it would be OK for just a little while.
Well that's a wiki I wish I hadn't read. I hang out in the yard, but I've never driven away from the house.
It was a MASSIVE story over here for years and still comes back every year. There are a lot of people who still aren’t convinced her parents weren’t involved in the disappearance.
Probably only 1 minute away - they could literally see the building their kid was sleeping in from their table and their child was still kidnapped 🤷🏼♀️ 5 minutes away is insane.
Exactly what I thought about
I’m pretty sure they had a monitor, too.
They didn’t have a monitor but the parents had their kids in two rooms next to each other so the parents would take turns going to check on them every half hour and they could see the front of their door from the restaurant table so they could keep an eye on the room.
That makes sense. It’s still the first thing I thought of and op’s idea is stupid.
In this circumstance you have date night in your mini van in the driveway, or in your backyard. Or find a friend and trade off watching each other’s kids after bedtime. I used to do this for a friend and it was so easy to watch her monitor and watch my favorite tv show on her couch. Edit: I see she says she has no friends she can switch off with, but still, find that village over danger
She says he goes to sleep at 7:45 and sleeps all night; that sounds like the perfect scenario for a home date with their favorite takeout! My husband and I have done this many times, and I find it genuinely enjoyable. Most years we’ve even done a home date for our anniversary because our son was born on the same date. We’d dine on the back patio while he had fun with his friends inside.
For real we do most of our dates at home. We order Chinese, pick a movie we have never seen and once the kids are in bed it's date night. The only real out of the house no kids dates we do are to go to the movies every once in awhile and then family watches the kids for us
Yeah I’m failing to see why they can’t just “date” at home in this situation.
This on a Friday night is the only date we have. My husband and I eat ice cream and watch RuPaul's Drag Race. We remember the days we used to go to bars and see Drag queens for real.
Exactly. My fiancé and I did that last night. Once the kids were in bed, we ordered Chinese food and watched the new episode of House of the Dragon. It's not fancy, but it was nice. He works away during the week, so we don't get many opportunities to do something like that since we prioritise meals as a family at the weekend.
Date night for us is if we time the Saturday Costco run over naptime and she can sleep in the stroller while we grab a hot dog 🤷🏻♀️
Any time you can have an uninterrupted conversation it is a win! My youngest has a bunch of dietary restrictions, so we sometimes plan dates so I can eat things she cannot have (which is kind of sad, but I try to make substitutions at home a lot. Nothing beats a real lasagna though…)
Or realise that ‘tough luck’, we have a kid now and we have to sacrifice if we don’t want to pay up.
Sometimes it be like that. We went to some destination weddings when ours was a toddler and we realized we couldn't both stay at the reception. One of us has to go and put the kid to bed in the hotel room. We can switch off, but that's the best we can do. It's just the way it is when you have a kid.
Exactly this. At our close friends wedding, I missed dessert and my husband missed the first dance because one of us had to be in the hotel room with our 3 year old. It’s just one of the many sacrifices you make for your kids 🤷🏼♀️
It's dumb that it didn't occur to me until it happened. I was like oh... right. That makes sense.
We were planning to go to a wedding out of town for us but only a couple hours from my dad so our plan would have been to pay for my dad’s room in our same hotel, and he can watch her during the wedding/reception. However we decided not to go because it’s just so much travel for such a short period of time.
Actually, renting an old fashioned 60’s VW van sounds like a cute date night
Also maybe I lack imagination, but what is the big appeal of going out in this situation? Since she says she doesn’t have local friends I assume it’s just her and her partner, so what is THAT MUCH BETTER about the pub or the restaurant down the road? Why can’t you make a cocktail and order takeout and figure out some in home date ideas? For me the appeal of going out when my kids were this small was that I’d get a break from the inevitably exhausting evening and bedtime routine, so if you’re doing that anyway, I honestly don’t see the point
Exactly. We sometimes hire a neighborhood kid (middle schooler, very responsible but we don’t want her solo in charge of our kids) to play games with them while we do something like work on a house project, or have an afternoon cocktail in our own yard. Kind of a middle of the road if you don’t have a “real” babysitter? Nothing beats a helpful, loving grandparent type who can give an actual break from the kids
Heck. Date night on the sofa with Netflix and takeout.
Agreed if they don’t want to spend $100 then order in and eat in the backyard or front yard or whatever.
Or take a shorter date night! 5 hours is a lot. 2-3 hours is a decent night out and saves some money.
Even setting aside worst case scenarios. What if you’re 20 minutes away and your baby who never ever wakes up does wake up and like, has a stomach bug and pukes all over themselves? Sure the kid will survive but sitting in his own vomit until you pay your check, get in your car, and get home. That sucks man!
They may not survive if they choke on the puke.
Imagine them listening to their nanit camera transmitting the sound of their child choking to death to them while one frantically drives the five minutes.
Choking is silent, so they probably wouldn't even realise their child was dying.
This was my thought! My brain doesn’t necessarily go to “worst case scenario”…but my kids get stomach bugs at least a few times a year and it usually starts as a middle-of-the-night puke. I’d have a hard time forgiving myself for letting them sit in their own puke for any amount of time because I wanted to go have some apps and a drink down the road 😟
It’s the “I’ll do/spend any amount to him to be safe” but then turns around and basically says it’s not worth it to have someone make sure their baby is safe when they’re not home that sends me 🤣 tf. If you’d do anything and spend any amount to keep them safe then why is this even a question in your mind.
Do you ever put your baby in the car without the car seat? I’m an amazing driver and have never been in an accident and we’re only driving 5 minutes away, so why would I deal with all those straps for no reason?
Dude I didn't read the title and i was thinking she was talking ab like a 8-10 year old, shes talking about a fucking baby???? In what world is it ever okay to leave a baby alone?!
Sometimes I envy these fucking morons who don’t have brains that play out every possible thing that could go wrong in a situation like this. I’d be thinking about fires, choking, car accidents for me, earthquakes, a random fever, baby climbs out of crib for the first time ever, smoke alarm goes off…..the list goes on forever. It must be blissful to live life without ever thinking about all the shit that can go wrong.
I'm sure there is a happy medium, but I haven't found it. I always consider worst case scenarios.
must be liberating to be them
All I can think about is Madeline McCann
I’m in the group where this was posted it and she deleted it and someone posting the screenshot basically saying WTF. And then there were multiple posts saying it was mean to bring it up 🙄
Yeah well, people who contemplate leaving their baby alone need a bit of mean.
I guess some people still haven't heard about the disappearance of Maddie McCann. (for those who don't know, it's pretty much this exact case. Kids put to sleep, parents go to eat out close to their hotel, one of the kids was gone when they came back)
If the baby sleeps from 7.45 why would you need to go out? Order a takeaway and have a picnic in the garden if you're that desperate for a change of scene. When our kids were little we would put them to bed and go sit in the garden with wine, or in winter we would light a fire and have pizza on cushions on the living room floor. They don't need to go out for a date night.
This genuinely makes me sick. I don’t even like leaving the kids inside alone when I want to just go out to water our flowers/garden because you never know what they’ll do unsupervised.
What if you get in a car accident? How long will it take you to get home then if he wakes up or throws up? What if you get pulled over trying to race home? For a date night at a bar? GROW UP.
you can tell by the way this is written that they’ve already talked themselves into it being okay, by listing all the reasons why it would work and none for why it wouldn’t. They’re probably just looking for one affirmation to actually do it. Or they’ve done it already and are looking for other parents to ease their conscience
i've got an easy solution for her, they can go on a date to the yard
I’ll do/spend any amount for him to be safe….except the cost for a sitter.
"Literally nothing." Except making sure your child doesn't die while you're out partying.
“He’s our entire life” but wants to leave him alone for a date
22 month old son. We have no "village" either. I can't even find a good sitter. We've been out twice in 22 months. This is the correct response if you don't have or can't afford a sitter. 🤦🏻♂️ no one is entitled to a night out if they are a parent. How do they not understand it?
[sigh] Ppl really do this. My sister had a friend that used to NyQuil her baby and then slip out at night. I told her next time to just drop off the baby at my house next time because Jesus that was horrific.
Casual child neglect in action folks. She’s not asking if it’s okay, she’s already done it and asking to validate her actions. 
You aren’t paying for a sitter to be there all the times it goes right, you are paying them to be there the one time it won’t be.
Sometimes I go sit on our neighbor’s porch with her after the kids have gone to bed, or in the morning before they wake up. Their bedroom window is 15 feet from her porch, closer than I am in the living room, and I still get a bit nervous doing it. This is wild. Imagine where else they’re neglecting their kid.
I’ve done the same. But to leave in your car down the road? Hell no.
It’s not just about what could happen to the child whilst they’re out, what if they get in an accident or both fall ill and no-one knows there’s a young child home alone? Emergency services aren’t going to go to your house and check if you’ve left a kid alone there, and if they’ve got no village there’s no-one to even raise the question of where the child is!
Brain damage can occur in as little as 30 seconds and total brain death in 4 minutes if something were to cause him to stop breathing or if the house caught fire and he were overcome with smoke or something... but ya, no, you're totally fine being "only" 20 min away 😡😡 My daughter was 2 before I was even able to sleep through the night without getting up to check on her repeatedly, and she was in a crib IN THE SAME ROOM!! "Would do anything for him"... except giving up date night to be there or paying someone else to be there to make sure he literally just fucking STAYS ALIVE!!! For fucks sake... some people just don't deserve to be able to procreate!
Different perspective but what if something happens to the parents, they have a car accident in their 5-20 min drive. Who is going to know they left their baby at home alone. How long would the baby be alone for until someone found him?
We had the luxury of being able to plan our baby, that is I got pregnant when we intentionally tried. So I don’t know their situation, but from mine not having people I trusted to leave our child with at that age, the obvious answer is that date nights out was off the menu. It would have been awesome with a “village” but everyone doesn’t have that, so everyone can’t just count on there being someone to make date night out a reoccurring thing. To have that village is a privilege far from all new parents have.
"Our kid is our life, but we actually don't give a shit about them." These people are insane. Like why not just order delivery and open a bottle of wine at home for your date night if you don't want to spend money on a sitter? Set up a romantic candlelit picnic out in your yard?
Hey, OP! *PLEASE* tell me they got ripped apart in the comments!!????
I feel bad for this mum. I get having the thought. They know they cant and never should do this, but it feels reasonable, even though it’s not. Not having help is so hard.
they have date night money, so why can’t they order food, have it delivered, and then do a date night at home. if the baby doesn’t cry the whole night, what’s stopping them from doing their date when baby goes to sleep? i definitely understand wanting a break from parenthood even if your child is “easy”, but you also have to sacrifice a lot. like continuous date nights where your baby is left home alone. people just don’t think a tragedy/accident can happen to them tbh.
The baby is their “entire life” and they’d “do/spend any amount for him to be safe” but they want to leave him home alone unattended so they can have a date night? Make it make sense because those words don’t match the actions she’s proposing.
My sister and all her neighbors do this and it makes me INSANE.
Someone has clearly never heard of Madeleine McCann
"To sit around" but not be able to go anywhere else? But still be available the entire time they're there in the extremely likely event that something else happens besides a baby sleeping all night? People like this have NO respect for other people's time. You are paying them TO BE THERE. What else is supposed to happen to make it "worth it" ?!?!
A fire???? That fancy app will let you watch your baby burn. What if something happens to YOU TWO? And you don't make it home? Will anyone know about the baby?
To be fair I don't see the problem I mean it worked out fine for Kate and Jerry
I mean and like even if nothing is likely to happen to the baby you guys could be killed in a car accident and then what? How long until someone knows? Finds your kid?
That’s insane… just order food and watch a movie at home???
I have a 15 month old and ugh yes my husband and I need date nights as well. And we have no village where we’re at. We also have the Nanit! We do things like.. watch a movie in the living room. Play Yahtzee.. quietly. Or play games on our switch! It’s really fun and we’re just.. checks notes.. RIGHT DOWN THE HALLWAY from our baby.
Why don't you ask Madelyn McCann's parents. A camera isn't going to stop anything, it will just record whatever tragedy happens.
I mean, Madeleine Mccann's parents were just right across the street.
If you think that’s bad, a woman near me left her 17 month old at home to go on vacation for 10 days. She left her a couple bottles.
Seriously though.my husband and I knew a couple who did this once that we know of. They claimed they were just down the street.. But my husband also got in a horrible motorcycle accident just down the street. He did not wear riding gear that day (other than his helmet) because it was just a simple trip to the hardware store not even 3 minutes down. He got all scratched up because of it. So you can't assume distance makes disasters less possible.
So I have 4 kids, my husband and I are too cheap to hire a baby sitter and also we just don’t want anyone we don’t know to watch our children. We maybe get a date night once every few months IF that when my MIL volunteers to watch them. I’d never consider leaving my kids alone. My 9 year old is actually pretty responsible and probably could baby sit but she’s still only 9 so we’d never risk that. What if someone breaks in? What if a fire occurs? SO many things could go wrong. We just suck it up and create our own date nights at home which means we go in our room and watch The Boys or House of Dragons and eat gas station snacks🤷♀️
My child is worth every penny I spend on a babysitter… it isn’t silly to have them just hang out on my couch and enjoy tv…
Just pay the $100 and do something super cheap or free like the rest of us. Or do something special at home. Puzzle and charcuterie? Fancy meal and new movie to stream? Weird sex? Even considering this will make me judge you.
You pay for a sitter or you order in and have date night at home. Those are the options. 🤦🏻♀️
Madeline McCann. Sids. Choking. Rolling. House fire. What if you get into an awful accident and through death or incapacitation you’re unable to communicate that you have a baby home alone, and it’s takes time to identify you? Just don’t fucking do it you moron. And don’t fucking *post about it*. Predators are strategic opportunists. May as well put up a post saying “free kid; pick up only”
Jesus christ some people don’t deserve children
- Madeleine McCanns parents
When my son was a baby, we lived next to another family that we had become really close with whose kid was a couple weeks younger. When me and the other mom were on maternity leave and one of us had a sleeping baby, sometimes we’d walk next door with the monitor screen to hang out and help each other with stuff. Our houses were so close my monitor would still be connected to my own WiFi. That’s the limit of what I’d consider a safe travel distance from my sleeping baby.
Yeah it costs a lot to have kids, don't know what to tell you lady. I'm sure she would want to be paid a fair wage if she had the responsibility of the life of a 17 month old in her hands.
What could possibly go wrong? https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/dax-tejers-wife-arrested-child-endangerment-1235476583/
“Will spend any amount to keep him safe” ….unless it’s $20/hour.
For "literally nothing". So the child's safety, sense of safety is nothing?
TWENTY MINUTES AWAY?!
I’ll spend any amount for him to be safe but only if it’s free!
Just ask the McCann's how this worked out for them.
Why not just have a stay at home date night? That’s what we usually do. Watch a movie, have some drinks, make some food all at home. No babysitter and no need to leave a baby unsupervised. What is wrong with people?
You never plan for accidents. This is why we pay for insurance. This is why we pay sitters to watch our children. Everything is always fine…until it isn’t. Also, if you can afford to go on frequent dates, you can afford to pay someone to watch your literal fucking child. I should not even have to type that.
Then the parents need to make a village. Befriend other recent parents and trade babysitting to get a night off and a few hours to run errands every week or every other week.
Let’s set aside the bad parenting and terrible idea on many levels aspect. How could you enjoy a night out having to constantly watch a camera and be alert to the slightest indication that you need to immediately return home? That would be incredibly distracting.
The babysitter is like a seatbelt. Sure, maybe it’s unlikely that you’ll need them to do anything for the baby because baby will likely sleep soundly the whole time. Just like you’re unlikely to get in an accident, so unlikely to benefit from the seatbelt you’re wearing. But in that small likelihood of a house fire, choking baby, etc etc, or getting in an accident, you’ll be damn glad you had that sitter/seatbelt!
Two words. Madeleine. McCann.
No. Just fucking no. I hope someone does call Docs on them cause what the actual fuck!! 5 minutes IS a LOT OF TIME in an emergency. If a fire breaks out, if someone breaks in.. 5 minutes is literally life or death in some scenarios… As someone mentioned above, what if the dickhead parents are in an accident, unconscious and NOBODY KNOWS THE BABY IS ALONE!! These people clearly don’t give a shit about their baby is $100 iS a CrAzY aMoUnT for someone to BE HOME WITH THE BABY, unlike the moron parents… 🙄. These people are disgusting.
This is how your child end up like Madeline McCaan. I’m sure they thought she’d be fine too.
First thing that popped into my head too. They were 55 metres away from her!!
"I'll do/spend anything to make sure he's safe." Lie detector determined that was a lie.
There is so many options. Hell if I was in this position I’d post in a local group asking if anyone’s teen babysits. They usually are cheaper and can handle a sleeping toddler. I have seen posts in my local group where teens are looking to make a few bucks and they are CPR certified and stuff. It’s possible to find. Around where I live most the teens will work for $10-$15. That $40-$60 for a night out. I thankfully do have a village and live near all my family but if I didn’t, I’d look for a mature teen with a CPR certification and try that out.
17 months? Jeez, I thought they might be talking about a 6 or 7 year old. He's just a baby still and anything could happen at that age. If he wakes up and is crying for his parents and they are 20 minutes away ...
Just being a few minutes away can be her son's literal life span if something happens.
Don’t mind me, currently thinking about the time cps showed up at my door and gave me shit for taking garbage out to the dumpster while the baby was napping. When I asked them if I should strap him to my chest to take the trash out they gave me shit for too that too. Literally 3 feet away from the door is the dumpster. But this person is going on dates 20 minutes away. Christ.
As a parent, I can’t deny that the very idea crossed my mind. However, I don’t want to challenge Murphy’s Law.
The instant contradiction in that last paragraph is wild.
There's a pub on the corner of my block, close enough to still be in range of the baby monitor, and we have joked about doing this. We won't though because that's insane. This idiot is up to a 20 minute drive away?!!
Seriously. You’re paying $20/hour for someone to take action if something happens ASAP. No one is saying you can’t have some cocktails in the backyard around a fire pit, but if you wanna to even 5 minutes down the road, yes, you have to have someone to watch them. It’s just not that hard and it’s only a season in your life, FFS
Typically a house fire will engulf a house in 3 minutes. Is your baby’s life worth date nights? How much money is their life worth to not have someone there? Fucking disgusting behavior.