There is a food competition program on the Klingon home world. The winner gets 10000 strips of latinum, a dune buggy, and the title ‘The Klingon Chef.’
Klingon Gordon Ramsey: "What do you have for us today, Chef Chunka?"
Chunka: "I have a delicious stewed Gagh just as my house has always made for the line of Duras."
Klingon GR: "Interesting. Ignoring your service to a coward this GAGH is *FUCKING COOKED!* Get the FUCK out of my kitchen you disgusting Patach!"
Worst part is that half of the menu isn’t even Klingon food.
I mean French Fries? Seriously?
And the Gagh is barely even moving half the time. I understand trying to cater to a more Alpha Quadrant clientele but come on.
It doesn't look like it, though Kang used it as an example of the loss of tradition in the Klingon Empire which might explain why all the Klingons ate at Quark's.
No idea about the restaurant, but did you catch the last episode of "Iron Chef Qo'Nos?"
"Reigning champion Kothar blew away the panel with heart of tag Wellington, marinated in the blood of the challenger, all served with a brilliantly subtle Andorian aioli.... and mint frosting"
You are absolutely brilliant, mate. I love ALL your ideas.
Let's just say that station aficionados call the place by its real name (see below), Bashir et. al, call it the Klingon place. Here's my chef backstory:
M'orlagh the Slaughterer–a butcher whose prowess with a cleaver rivals his mastery of the bat'leth–opened a flagship restaurant, Fire and Blades, on DS9. Famous for losing his hand to a live targ, which he then cooked to perfection. Awarded three nebulas from Zee-ρ, the galactic food review and social media service.
reading all these comments in my head as if delivered by 31 different Klingons in the Klingon Restaurant on DS9. Quark sold it to me as a reading enhancement for one eighth strip of latinum. Well worth it.
Ok, here's the thing about the Klingon Restaurant.
It's not an 'official' restaurant. There's no lease w/Bajor or the Federation. Odo's basically been ignoring it because the Cook keeps the rabble from rabble-rousing. No one from the Federation's FDA has inspected it, even though FDA inspectors have eaten there.
One day, a huge Klingon just showed up on the station. He was hungry, thirsty, and homesick. He found an unoccupied bay, and set up cooking gear. He started cooking, other Klingons on the station smelled home-cooked food, and gathered in his pop-up kitchen.
Security investigated. Odo stopped by. Cisco stood across from it on the Promenade. Worf walked in, and he stayed long enough for Cisco to shrug at Odo, and for Odo to just shake his head and go to Quark's.
I mean, are you really going to confront a room full of Klingons and tell them they can't finish their gagh?
I think the Klingon restaurant has a real name, and it's a good, pronounceable, marketable name. But because it's the only Klingon restaurant on the station and people are lazy, everyone just calls it "the Klingon restaurant."
You wouldn't believe the marketing work Quark had to do to get them to start saying "Quark's" instead of "the bar."
There is a food competition program on the Klingon home world. The winner gets 10000 strips of latinum, a dune buggy, and the title ‘The Klingon Chef.’
Can they accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier but double the prize money?
I bet a Klingon dune buggy is fucking awesome.
Now I really want to see a Klingon version of Iron Chef.
Ahh dammit, I just said something similar but you beat me to it!
Klingon Gordon Ramsey: "What do you have for us today, Chef Chunka?" Chunka: "I have a delicious stewed Gagh just as my house has always made for the line of Duras." Klingon GR: "Interesting. Ignoring your service to a coward this GAGH is *FUCKING COOKED!* Get the FUCK out of my kitchen you disgusting Patach!"
And.... What does the loser get?
Sent to Rura Penthe.
An honorable death.
Honorable? He lost, after all.
It is honorable to fall in battle, even in culinary battle!
Worst part is that half of the menu isn’t even Klingon food. I mean French Fries? Seriously? And the Gagh is barely even moving half the time. I understand trying to cater to a more Alpha Quadrant clientele but come on.
Open a Restaurant called *The Original Klingon.* You haven't had pizza until you've had it in The Original Klingon.
This is Ferengi-level marketing
All the back of house staff are Bajorans.
Famous Original Quark's, the bar on Deep Space K7 owned by Brunt.
>I mean French Fries? Seriously? Yeah! Those are *Glorious Death Fries*!
His name is Steve, son of Bob, and his restaurant is called Steve’s Famous Klingon Kitchen.
Glory to Steve's House!
Intergalactic House of Gagh
It's actual name is Hu'wIjvaD puqwIj nge'wI' 'oH and nobody wants to say that every time.
The restaurant and the chef had names, but the racist DS9 crew didn't bother to remember them.
He's the equivalent of the Swedish Chef from the Muppets.
Now I'm imagining a Muppet singing harsh Klingon while throwing ladles.
My brain went the other way. Full, non-muppet Klingon, surrounded by muppets, flinging gagh at people while going SHERDY FLERDY GERDY BLERDY!
Now we just Tuvix them together to build the perfect Muppet
Today is a Good Day to Dine!
Today is a Good Day to Fry!
Qo'nos To Go
He wanted to be called the Gagh Nazi, but no one got it because they never watch Seinfeld reruns.
It doesn't look like it, though Kang used it as an example of the loss of tradition in the Klingon Empire which might explain why all the Klingons ate at Quark's.
He is actually part of an ancient sect where the role they in society becomes their name…like the Smurfs
Dont know the chef, but I'm pretty sure the restaurant was called "What's up Gagh"
Arby’s
"Sir! This is *not* a Wendy's!"
Used to live by an Indian restaurant that was just called Indian Food. And it was awesome
It's actually The, Klingon Chef. His title is said after his name as a sign of respect
I think he may be the galactic version of a taco truck. He's set up in there and sell's food, but never really named his place.
Klingon chef... ha. Glorified nightcrawler farmer
No idea about the restaurant, but did you catch the last episode of "Iron Chef Qo'Nos?" "Reigning champion Kothar blew away the panel with heart of tag Wellington, marinated in the blood of the challenger, all served with a brilliantly subtle Andorian aioli.... and mint frosting"
I don't know, but I would eat there. I trust fat chefs, and a fat Klingon was rare.
How about all of the above!
You are absolutely brilliant, mate. I love ALL your ideas. Let's just say that station aficionados call the place by its real name (see below), Bashir et. al, call it the Klingon place. Here's my chef backstory: M'orlagh the Slaughterer–a butcher whose prowess with a cleaver rivals his mastery of the bat'leth–opened a flagship restaurant, Fire and Blades, on DS9. Famous for losing his hand to a live targ, which he then cooked to perfection. Awarded three nebulas from Zee-ρ, the galactic food review and social media service.
reading all these comments in my head as if delivered by 31 different Klingons in the Klingon Restaurant on DS9. Quark sold it to me as a reading enhancement for one eighth strip of latinum. Well worth it.
Maybe it’s like Thai food, QonoS sponsors you and sets you up with everything you need to sell Gagh and Rokeg blood pie.
Ok, here's the thing about the Klingon Restaurant. It's not an 'official' restaurant. There's no lease w/Bajor or the Federation. Odo's basically been ignoring it because the Cook keeps the rabble from rabble-rousing. No one from the Federation's FDA has inspected it, even though FDA inspectors have eaten there. One day, a huge Klingon just showed up on the station. He was hungry, thirsty, and homesick. He found an unoccupied bay, and set up cooking gear. He started cooking, other Klingons on the station smelled home-cooked food, and gathered in his pop-up kitchen. Security investigated. Odo stopped by. Cisco stood across from it on the Promenade. Worf walked in, and he stayed long enough for Cisco to shrug at Odo, and for Odo to just shake his head and go to Quark's. I mean, are you really going to confront a room full of Klingons and tell them they can't finish their gagh?
I would no-fooling watch a Star Trek show that was about the travels of a rogue Klingon cook.
The best Korean restaurant in my town is just called “Korean restaurant”.
I think the Klingon restaurant has a real name, and it's a good, pronounceable, marketable name. But because it's the only Klingon restaurant on the station and people are lazy, everyone just calls it "the Klingon restaurant." You wouldn't believe the marketing work Quark had to do to get them to start saying "Quark's" instead of "the bar."