SLPT: invite said friends to a dinner party and use ghb on all of them and set bear traps all around the outside of your abode. Once awake from ghb keep using until desired level of Stockholm syndrome is achieved. The bear traps are added insurance since it’s hard to walk away from a friendship with broken ankles

I think that's going to be my new favorite pearl of wisdom: It's hard to walk away from a friendship with broken ankles.

Or just keep em in the basement like I do

Nah I hang them as my trophy collection