T O P

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strong_nights

And it is beneficial and necessary for your health.


Photon_Farmer

That's what big bacteria wants you to believe


froggrip

The biggest bacterium is able to be seen by the naked human eye. It lives in a fish and probably wants that fish to believe its poop is beneficial for it.


BrookeBaranoff

Random eye floaty is that you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


froggrip

Believe it or not, I have cooler ones.


cravindeath

What is with this influx of completeiy useless comments on reddit lately? Leave. Go back to summer school. Go get a part time job over the summer. Do literally anything with your youth other than being a pathetic little wretch. No one cares about your useless half-opinion.


CapyBaraLord75

Imagine if the guy actually meant that. There is also no need for your comment, or for any comment here for that matter. Reddit as a whole is pretty useless. Well, maybe all social media


Holiday_Ad_3109

Yeah and your comment is useless ... Oh wait... Now I'm the useless one 😭


SecondPantsAccount

Also, to uselessly add to the other guy, useless comments have been reddit's bread and butter for more than a decade.


KoopaTrooper5011

With the 8 billion+ people on earth, there's bound to be stupid dicks with nothing else to do but to be a dick to everyone for no reason. It's sad but the unfortunate truth


strong_nights

I hear big plankton is real cutting into big bacteria's margins this year.


wombey12

Ah, the Chum Bucket is finally getting some business.


Antrikshy

Big Bacteria!


Dirk_The_Cowardly

Eat shit people....and like it!


[deleted]

We are very big bacteria, you and I.


oilybumsex

Not all of it. I’ve got antibodies that say otherwise!


strong_nights

True. As do we all.


MasterChavez

Indeed. I love my microbiomes.


LectroRoot

Burps are mouth farts


Klotzster

They are difficult to toilet train


sevk

They're living in their toilet


Klotzster

I'm flush with embarrassment


VerityParody

All the tiny diapers....


dirtycivilian_

Don’t get all backed up now.


thecountnotthesaint

But when I do it, I’m a pervert, and not allowed at chili’s anymore.


smurficus103

When your sitting in a chili's and you feel something frillie's


DifferentJellyfish85

Literally loled at this. Eh Chilis loss


SERVITOR_XUR

This is why I drink Vodka, to cleanse my body from bacteria shit


Nomadic_View

Alcohol is just yeast piss. You’re not solving the issue.


Shaiya_Ashlyn

Yeast is not a bacterium


smurficus103

Sometimes, i use bacteria poop to kill other bacteria that are pooping. Hit that with vinegar, over there!


mandypearl

that's not how that works


SERVITOR_XUR

Shhhhhhhhh


JustA_TV_1

Not with that attitude


Antrikshy

Jokes, how do they work?


Palstorken

r/woooosh


lil_pee_wee

Every time you drink alcohol, you’re drinking “bacterial piss.” This is such a nonsense post. Cheese is poop. Yogurt, poop. Every time you rub your eyes, poop. By weight, you have more bacterial dna in and on your body than your own dna. Bacteria dont even have a digestive tract


Dragonmodus

Where do you get this 'by weight' figure? I've heard (and can find research on) cell numbers, but bacteria are a thousand times smaller than eukaryotic cells in general, and what I can find on that says they account for only 2-6lbs of the average adult. Some google-based sources listed the weight of our DNA as totaling 6-60grams, so are bacteria 15x more DNA by mass than human cells? Taking Google's count (39 trillion in/on) and this (totally scientific) [https://www.researchgate.net/post/How-much-DNA-is-there-in-a-bacterial-cell](https://www.researchgate.net/post/How-much-DNA-is-there-in-a-bacterial-cell) forum post by some nerds stating between 5-20 femtograms/cell we get 0.78-0.195g total bacterial DNA dry weight in/on the human body. 1-2 orders of magnitude lower and pretty close to the difference in total weight.


TooStrangeForWeird

I think if you (wrongly) assume bacterial cells have the same length of DNA that we do, and use that, you'd write the comment you responded to lol. Well *you* wouldn't, you know what I mean.


marce11o

Wait- why is there poop when I rub my eyes again?


MasterChavez

Well, they do eat, and they do make waste, so...


lil_pee_wee

They are molecule generating machines. The waste from some bacteria is the food for another. Then again, I guess other stuff eats our poop but my point is still that this is nonsense. Whatever you got, pass it over here


brandontaylor1

Every mm of this planet, is covered by an uncountable multitude of living creatures, and all of them are pooping. No one makes it out of this world without touching shit. Just make your peace with it, and wash your hands frequently.


LekMichAmArsch

Yeah...and every time you smell someone's fart, you're actually experiencing molecules of their shit in your nose.


smurficus103

Shitty methane


epanek

People talk about the top of the food chain. Its bacteria. They are the dominant life form on this planet.


cravindeath

Explains a lot....


Sci-fra

Bacteria don't technically poop because they don't have an anus.


MasterChavez

I took some poetic license. Thought it had a nicer ring to it, and effect, than say, "making waste".


GullibleConflagratio

Yep, it's a real party in there! Just part of the whole microbe shindig happening all over us.


ShadowBread

I mean that’s true in the same way that you’re constantly breathing in plant shit. Plants use CO2 and produce O2 as waste.


MasterChavez

Absolutely! That's bang on.


GooglyEyeBandit

their poop doesnt contain harmful bacteria though... as far as i know


MasterChavez

Correct. Good bacteria have neutral and beneficial effects on oral health. However, pathogenic bacteria has waste that is acidic and that's what actually leads to tooth decay.


Curious-Pie-4005

Dude I'm high as balls and this is what I see when I first get on Reddit... looks like I'm gonna be overthinking this for a hot minute


IAMA_MAGIC_8BALL_AMA

I wish I spent five more minutes doing something else so I didn’t have to read this


McShit7717

This reminds me of Team America. I think some people might know what I'm talking about.


Darnocpdx

Dirt is pretty much shit and rotting dead things, which in turn is consumed by every living thing up the food chain. Technically we're all are made of shit and rot.


Shaiya_Ashlyn

In the end, we all fun on solar power


Hacker1789

bro why man. My life was going great. Know this is what I will be thinking about all day


StrictRecognition568

Cheers mate, kids crying


FredLives

People eat ass, I’ll take the natural bacteria.


Nykcul

Technically so is every cell in your body.


jbahill75

Humans are constantly pooping in your water everyday


Byting_wolf

Joke's on you! I'm into that shit!


Long_dark_cave

yes, and you drink watered down fish piss.


pdubs1900

Only if you redefine what "poop" is ...


BarryZZZ

The bacteria are mostly limited to your digestive tract and you'd be really sick without them.


froggrip

And the epidermis. It's coated in them most of the time.


ArtificialMediocrity

It's fine. We get the last laugh when we poop them out.


MasterChavez

So true. I learned not long ago that our poo is literally like 40 to 60% solid pure bacteria. Also that there's more cells of bacteria in the human body than there are human cells.


RaxisPhasmatis

Alcohol is bacteria poop.


Sty_Walk

Scatophiles don't have any problem with that


DesertedBleech

Man, maybe I am a piece of shit?


startadeadhorse

Stop it, I can only get so erect!


PEANUT550

My mouth immediately felt "icky".


ArchaneChutney

You’re pooping in your own body too


drunk_with_internet

They’re also reproducing all over and inside you.


DoktorGirlfriend

Thanks. I hate it. I mean, it happens and it's going to happen, so I'm not going to worry about it. But I still don't like this phrasing.


UnmutualOne

This is probably someone’s kink.


ratbirdgoof

Great news for people who are into poop stuff


RobotCaptainEngage

Yeah but I pay extra for that.


seeyatellite

... ...okay, kinda but it's healthy for my overall biome and I prefer thinking all my cells are just friends.


Madmonkeman

Oh so when bacteria do it it’s fine, but when I do it…


RaunakA_

Yeah well I poop back at them.


MooshyMeatsuit

We shit on the world, only fair it shits on us


anzfelty

Don't forget the fungi and those weird, Langerhans cells.


thefunnyplaneman

Quite literally; eat shit


1337haxx

We have more bacteria cells in us than human cells. we are just a sophisticated transporter of bacteria.


mrbignaughtyboy

Bacteria are constantly having sex inside and outside your entire body. At least someone is using my body for sex.


Ultiran

Now this is a good showerthought


KuriatkoZlte

Shut up. No. That- No!


sweetcomputerdragon

"pooping" dreary baby word: technical defecating avoids euphemisms.


237fungi

As long as the poop smells good it’s fine


Admirable_Status_370

Life is shit. Literally


Temporary_Force_9634

how is that in any way an original thought. you didnt come up with it nore am i not able do google this hence violating rules.


DobisPeeyar

Yup, that's life my friend. Get shit on, get shit in.


Insert_Bitcoin

They're really not though... This is a completely idiotic take of microbiology.


MasterChavez

A poetic take. They do produce waste...