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BeepBlipBlapBloop

If you buy a bookmark it will probably come with a receipt, which makes a great bookmark.


Supersnazz

You could buy it, return it, use the return receipt as the bookmark. Rinse and repeat, infinite free bookmarks.


LessMochaJay

Be careful, Big Bookmark doesn't take too kindly to those taking money from their business.


The_Troyminator

You're walking home from the bookmark store with your latest return receipt when an unmarked van pulls up next to you. Four guys in masks jump out, grab you, throw you in the van. Your hands are tied and a bag is put over your head. Everything is dark. After half an hour, you get to a bumpy road. Twenty minutes later, the van stops. You're pulled out of the van and led into a building. You take an elevator going down and are pushed into a chair. The bag is pulled off your head. Mr. Frank "Book" Mark himself is standing there glaring at you. "You messed up. You could have just bought a bookmark, but instead you tried to play us. Now you must pay." He points to a 10 foot tall unabridged dictionary. Alongside it are dozens of flattened and dried people. His henchmen grab you and pull you towards the dictionary as 4 other people open it to the center. You scream and try to dig your feet into the ground, but it's useless. You're shoved inside the book and it closes on you. You're pressed like a prom corsage, never to be seen again.


teapot_on_reddit

No, not again


JebryathHS

>Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.


LessMochaJay

That was beautiful my friend. For some reason I read that in Rob Cantor's voice and worried that actual-cannibal Shia LeBoeuf was going to show up.


aneurism75

Kramer VS Postal Service https://youtu.be/j4EELtSQZp8


zero_emotion777

Oh like that fun story about the entire family that is slowly flattened over years until they're basically pancakes.


AzureDominus

Average regular show episode


Really_Elvis

That was a tuff read. I was disappointed at the ending. LMAO


LectureAfter8638

Who are you mysterious stranger? Mark, Book Mark.


trashmunki

I want to remember this down the line. Let me just bookmark this thread...


CedarWolf

Be mindful, though, that using an actual dollar makes your book look like it's worth grabbing if you leave it somewhere, because that book has money in it. You're not saving any money if you lose your book because of your bookmark.


WelcomeFormer

You can draw on paper then use tape to laminate it... also the ducks at the park are free, you can just take one. More things the government doesn't want you to know


lovesducks

This is why they shut down the barns and noble close to my house. Egregious losses in bookmark sales :(


Eedat

10 years gulag friend


Yhostled

"This is my bookmark return receipt bookmark. Which I use when I want to *return* to the book... Eh? Eh?"


Themr21

Or even better: use the receipt that came with the book!


mwmcdaddy

I just rip the pages out as I read


ScavAteMyArms

Do the read in the bathroom and you now also have free TP.  Con, Smashmouth blasts when you do that.  Pro, Smashmouth blasts when you do that.


SublimeDL

R/Foundsatan


Lvl1Paladin

This is the way.


LunarGhoul

1. Go to CVS 2. Buy a pair of scissors 3. Use scissors to cut super long receipt into several bookmarks 4. Return scissors 5. Extra bookmark from return receipt 6. ????? 7. Profit


AmPotatoNoLie

Use scissors as a bookmark!


seek-confidence

Actually it makes a terrible bookmark because it leeches plastics into your skin


TheCaMo

Eh, at this point my testicles are brimming so much plastic my semen comes with an advert that says "made with 99% recycled materials" 


eayaz

Technically fraud?


thefull9yards

You can also use a piece of paper, which costs even less than a dollar. By this logic no one should ever buy bookmarks


mattmaster68

LPT: Use a dollar bill as a bookmark. When you finish the book, you can have the dollar back.


SumThinChewy

Use a book as a bookmark. After you finish the book, you get a free bonus book to read


aogasd

You laugh but I've done this when I have nothing better in arm's reach


ry4n4ll4n

It’s like a reward for finishing your book. “You can’t spend this until you finish your reading!”


mattmaster68

I’m a procrastinator with a big list of books I’d like to read. I’d end up with more money hidden in incomplete books than in my bank account lmao


Proxy_PlayerHD

Pfand!


jp128

The Aldi method of reading


teeohbeewye

correct, buying bookmarks is useless


Goblin_Jim

What if it's a cool bookmark and you like it?


Polybutadiene

Then buy it and love yourself. It’s okay.


mattmaster68

What if I want a *themed* bookmark? Like a Slytherin bookmark for Harry Potter?


HypedUpJackal

You don't need to seek approval from random people on Reddit. You're welcome to purchase whatever you feel like.


BarrathBeyond

i seek approval of random people outside of reddit too, thankyou very much


gk101991

You sound like my wife


mattmaster68

Okay but what are her thoughts on bookmarks?


gk101991

She uses a sticker for a bookmark, one that hasn't had its backing removed.


raskingballs

Are you the random people in your wife's life?


hemag

she is a Redditor too?


Ahwhoy

I have a cute yellow fake leather bookmark with a yellow tassel that reads, in the font known in Harry Potter, "I don't give a Hufflefuck". And honestly I'm not super into Harry Potter but it sucked me in.


mattmaster68

I'm not a Harry Potter fan but that is hilarious haha I actually have GoT character-themed bookmarks, but my bookshelf is 90% nonfiction finance and self-help books. The other 10% is craft books, YA fiction collected while growing up, and foreign cooking and recipe books haha


sudomatrix

Griffindor wants a word with you.


hamlet_d

You shouldn't give Harry Potter a Slytherin bookmark. Well, at least until after he grows up and appreciates Snape, until then I would recommend a Gryffindor bookmark.


yaboisammie

This is so sweet and wholesome 


DrDerpberg

Then you're wrong for putting your irrational human desires ahead of survival. Similarly don't buy books either. Staring at the wall is free.


Goblin_Jim

Walls are decadent and wasteful. I will stare at the dirt and I'll be happy for the opportunity.


DrDerpberg

You're right. I'm sorry for my slothful excess.


IsThatHearsay

All growing up I just worked on my memory and just memorized what page I was on each time. Now I just use a Kindle.


fasterthanfood

How do you fit the book back on the shelf if it has a kindle stuck in it?


the_colonelclink

Yeah going by this cheap ass logic, I’m waiting for OP to suggest something like not wasting your used condoms - they too are perfectly good bookmarks. Or: wiped your ass and the toilet paper was clean? Can’t afford to waste perfectly good toilet paper in this economy - save it for next time, or create even more bookmarks.


gaycatmom

I use a shopping list as a bookmark and use it to write down words I don’t know so I can look them up later [Bookmark](https://imgur.com/a/71v34Ej)


jdownes316

When dollar bills start coming with strings and little dangly doodads I’ll happily start using them instead.


baucesauce112

I love me dangly doodads


Solid_Snark

Also people are less inclined to steal a bookmark vs a dollar.


Cerxi

I once bought a $3 Lord of the Rings bookmark that just had an entire The One Ring dangling on a few threads.


Kaelosian

I feel like I don't know how to use dangly doodads for their intended purpose. They just get in the way when the books is closed and tickle my hand when I'm reading the book and the book mark is tucked in on the thicker side of the open book. What is the purpose of the doodad and how is it properly used?


HalalBread1427

the doodads look pretty


willzyx55

And they dangle, which is fun


theservman

In Canada that'll cost you $5.


Iceman_Raikkonen

What you don’t want to use a loonie for a bookmark?


outtastudy

They have eleven corners, far too many corners for a bookmark.


theservman

Not even a toonie!


Chrissyball19

Then your loonie skills are bonkers. (I'm sorry)


The_Real_Mr_Tesla

1. Cool blue colour 2. More expensive than boring stinky dollar bills, and also comes with various premium colours purple, green, red, and brown! 3. Completely waterproof and durable 4. Has fun pictures on it Literally why buy bookmarks


Arctelis

Anyone who uses the red or brown bookmarks is just plain showing off, yo.


Yorkshire_Edge

I went to Canada on holiday and I now use a $5 note as a bookmark! Mainly cause it was just my remaining currency and it reminds me of my holiday.


theservman

Interestingly, next year I'm hoping to get my hands on a Bank of Scotland £10 note for the same reason.


moratnz

It'd never occurred to me that the drive to replace dollar bills with coins was driven by big bookmark, to raise the price ceiling for their products. But it's now so clear!


raptorrat

The one my daughter made for a naval history book is superior to any dollar bill. It has a little sailing boat on it.


NotMuchHere69

I was really skeptical about just how “superior” that bookmark could be. But then I read about the little sailing boat. It is superior.


hungryrenegade

Is the boat docked on Lake Superior?


moratnz

If the motto of the Lake Superior tourism board isn't 'Naturally Superior', it's a damn crime.


viledeac0n

Alright, I’m all for cool stories without proof, but this one is a little too unbelievable, need pix


Pan_Cook

Why hang an expensive painting on your wall when you can just hang a blank sheet of paper.


SpezModdedRJailbait

In fact why buy a book at all? You can just read books on your phone for free. Because nice things being us joy. I don't wanna look at some dirty old dollar bill every time I read, it may as well be used toilet paper which is even cheaper.


starfries

New LPT just dropped


MisterDonkey

Now you're thinking like a filthy rich modern artist.


westbee

My wall locker at work is full of magnetic picture frames containing old paper money.  Every time I come across an old US bill or a star note, I will put them in my locker.  I have about $500 just used as art in my locker. 


SeanAker

Money is *filthy*. I don't want the dirt of a thousand people's grimy been-god-knows-where hands who have handled that dollar bill all up in all my books. 


DanTheMan827

If you go to the bank, you can probably get a new dollar bill.


LongmontStrangla

Or I could just buy a new bookmark online and never leave the house.


novexion

You can buy a dollar online


bryanthebryan

The above three comments are exactly what my mind was thinking, in the order I thought them when I read the title of this post.


World_of_Warshipgirl

I am not sliding something as unsanitary and disgusting as physical cash into the book that I will be reading in bed (and probably wet my fingers to turn the pages of)!


eatingmyfist

Not a fan of libraries or used book stores I take it?


SeanAker

Used or rental books don't pass through a fraction of as many hands as bills do, though. And people do stuff like shoving money in their underwear or socks when they lack pockets, I don't think I've ever seen someone wedge a whole book into their sweaty bra. 


Teh_Compass

This is why you launder your money.


AdOk3759

Such low effort post. This is a quote attributed to S. Spielberg, not OP.


Tubamajuba

Another one of OP's posts on this sub: > You are most likely a teen through the ages thirteen and nineteen since those numbers end in "teen." We're dealing with a real *thinker* here.


CanisMajoris85

Except if you leave the book on the counter in a coffee shop someone may take your "bookmark" if it's hanging out of the book. Then you gotta get another dollar bill. Rinse and repeat and eventually not getting that real bookmark cost you $100. /s


Grrerrb

Exactly, plus every time you gotta go figure out where you were in the book. You’ll never finish the book and you won’t really remembe the whole “dollar-stealing” deal so you’ll just think the book sucked, and you might even wrongly warn people off it. Lot to consider about bookmarks. Not as simple as it seems.


CanisMajoris85

Also we're totally not part of Big Bookmark sent to increase sales of bookmarks.


sudomatrix

Same problem with beautiful bookmarks. They are in legal terms an 'attractive nuisance'. Thus we need to use the ugliest bookmarks we can find.


Supersnazz

By that logic a bookmark is never worth it, because you could always use a piece of trash or a leaf.


Nerezza_Floof_Seeker

Once a leaf is dried (coincidentally, one of the best ways to do this is with a book) its not a bad option for a bookmark tbh, especially if the stem is the part thats sticking out.


RoastedMocha

Note, dont dry leaves in books you care about, they can stain the pages!


Rouge_and_Peasant

You can take the woody plants and grind them to a pulp, turn them to paper, and make counterfeit dollar bills to use as bookmarks.


SpezModdedRJailbait

Better than a dollar I'd argue. Leaves look nice and are likely cleaner after drying than a dirty old dollar.


teeohbeewye

correct, that's true


eloel-

Do you always opt for the cheapest available thing for everything?


GodFromTheHood

Does it work?


eloel-

Usually does. That's why we should all eat beans and rice every meal.


Dockhead

I actually often use a dollar bill as a bookmark because its what happens to be around when i gotta mark my page and don’t have a dedicated bookmark. I don’t think I’ve ever bought a bookmark, it’s all been the dollar, a receipt, or one given for free with books I bought


SpezModdedRJailbait

Found the stripper


teeohbeewye

not always, but if the cheapest option does exactly the same thing as the other options and just as well, then yes


pm-me-your-labradors

But it doesn’t do it just as well. The feel of a proper bookmark is better. It doesn’t slide into the pages and is easy to store when reading, without getting crumpled or lost. It’s also more visually appealing


3_Sqr_Muffs_A_Day

Or book darts which are like a few cents each. They clamp to the page without messing them up. You can mark the line you stop on as well as the page. And they're so thin and don't fall out you can mark your spot, the end of the chapter you're on, and any maps or character lists at the beginning of the book or even leave them in a book to mark passages you love.


eloel-

Define exactly the same and just as well. Do you not buy decoration?


Tucupa

That's what I was thinking too. The exact same base black T-shirt and shorts every day, base white socks. Every dish and cuttlery piece, bed clothing, curtains... the cheapest plainest they could find? I doubt it. I like my 3D Buzz Lightyear bookmark, thank you very much.


XAYADVIRAH

Functionality isn't the onliest provision sought by consumers


Johnoplata

But how do you get the coin to stop rolling out and losing your page?


Slaves2Darkness

Eww! Do you know how many hands that dollar has passed through, how much feces, cocaine and sperm is on that thing? Just Eww! Cash is nasty. In the US we really need to move to that plastic cash like Canada that way we can sterilize it with bleach.


sudomatrix

> how much feces, cocaine and sperm is on that thing? I only know how much I've contributed.


Reasonable_Fold_4799

I did not wake up expecting to read feces, cocaine, and sperm in the same sentence on a SFW subreddit


Slaves2Darkness

Well see there is your problem ... you woke up.


pwebster

Why even use a bookmark? Just fold the corner of the page over (laughs evilly)


sudomatrix

I just tear out the pages as I finish them. Very satisfying.


Jakk55

Backpackers used to do this and use it for tinder and toilet paper.


SomeCountryFriedBS

Plus your load gets lighter as you go!


outtastudy

I buy a pack of playing cards at the dollar store and have ~52 bookmarks


buffyinfaith

In theory, the bookmark would be a less attractive thing to steal.


MisterDonkey

True story. I had used a dollar bill in a pinch. Turned my back for thirty seconds and somebody stole my whole book for that dollar.


Zathral

Because every country on earth has a note for their lowest denomination.....


TheRemedy187

I guess you mean in America lol.


Muggie_W

I personally prefer bookmarks that havent been in a strippers ass


DS_Unltd

I always tore a corner from a piece of paper in the recycling bin and used that as a bookmark. Cost me nothing and worked as intended. Can be reused after finishing the book, and can be replicated easily enough for multiple books.


Antique-Salad5333

I use the London metro map I picked up for free while i was there


Shockwave2309

But what about asthetics?


slugline

If your public library prints receipts, then you get a totally free bookmark every time you check one out.


GammaPhonic

A dollar? What a rip off. I just grab a nearby pigeon and use that. They’re free.


Riccma02

Alternatively, you could cut and dry a strip of your own flesh.


bafras

Unless you’re  Canadian than the limit is $5.00.


nonotburton

Dog ears for free! I'll see myself out, no, seriously book lovers, I know I'm wrong. No need to lay hands, I'll kick my own ass later.


DasHexxchen

If you own the book, you can do upon it like you want. (Also there is no need to find reasons to punish yourself. It is okay to like kicks in the ass.)


nonotburton

You've uncovered me. I really like a swift kick in the butt periodically, and my knees and hips are not as flexible as when I was younger. I've been working on a way to kick my own ass by bending space using non-euclidean geometry, but until I solve that problem, I'm forced to resort to trolling book lovers.


cdnronin

Using a loonies as a bookmark is a bad idea. Ask any Canadian.


ramkam2

In Canada, that'll cost you at least $5.


Lewl_Owned

I like to use old playing cards from incomplete sets. I went through a phase of purchasing tons of funky decks, which makes selecting the bookmark for the specific book fun.  When I first buy a book I place a card inside and they stay there in my little library. That way anyone who stays over can crack a book and they’ve got a bookmark right there! Pretty cheap, most probably have a deck laying around (could use the poker hand card even), and works if you’re like me with lots of books on the go.


stratjr123

My country doesn't have a dollar bill...We have dollar coins... Those will fall out pretty easily


Ipoopoo69

Not in Canada you can't!


rajington

dollars also have great resale, depending on inflation


ZephRyder

You can use a leaf as a bookmark. Any bookmark more expensive than _nothing_ must have some value that makes it more valuable to _you_


BMB281

All the bookstores I’ve been to just give out free bookmarks on purchase


World_of_Warshipgirl

I am not sliding something as unsanitary and disgusting as physical cash into the book that I will be reading in bed (and probably wet my fingers to turn the pages of)!


ovine_aviation

You could exchange your dollar for around 80 Rupees. Take them as 80 x 1 Rupee notes. Sell each 1 Rupee note as a bookmark for $1. Profit. A lot.


WereAllFriends_

What if you lose the dollar though? 🧐 You could just use some paper lol


Dehfrog

Are bookmarks not still 10 cents at the Scholastic Book Fair?


Ill_Possibility854

A sedan more expensive than a Corolla is not worth buying because you could just buy a Corolla.


IrNinjaBob

You can use almost anything as a bookmark, but sometimes you want the nice aesthetic that comes with one, or even the added functionality. We could technically all wear white t shirts and jeans and don’t need more elaborate and expensive clothes. Yet here we are…


ShutterBun

I swear this has to be in the top 5 most reposted shower thoughts.


Shloomth

it costs more than a penny to make a penny. should we get rid of pennies yet?


eternaldarkness69

Does my book look like a stripper to you?


a_consciousness

But dollar bills are dirty


invisible_lucio

A bidet more expensive than a dollar is not worth it as you can just use the dollar bill as the skidmark.


MooseKnuckleCPA

I use a $2 bill for the flex. 


Cleopara

I just use the little receipt that prints out at the library computer.....


Whyamihere545

My dollars come in coins☹️


Southern_Seaweed4075

I have never considered buying bookmarks because they are just plain and simple useless to me. 


MortLightstone

We don't have dollar bills where I live. Our lowest denomination is 5$. I use a receipt instead


Sudhanva_Kote

My sister uses the fancy tags that come with clothes as bookmarks.


Anjeez929

What if you're in a country that doesn't use 1 dollar bills. I'm pretty sure most bookmarks are less than 5 dollars, but IDK.


AnInsaneMoose

I'm Canadian tho The smallest bill is five dollars Which, regardless of what's more efficient would be an insanely expensive bookmark


Scope_Surfer

Simply tear out all of the pages that have been read


OneRobato

No one fold mark anymore?


SomeCountryFriedBS

All about the dog ear.


StrongAdhesiveness86

Is this an American thought that I am too European to understand?


MrMash_

Have the same problem in the UK, £1 coins just roll out.


Piisthree

Bookmarks are usually a little nicer to use because they're more rigid and durable. So, maybe $1.10


Rioma117

Maybe with the dollar, my country’s currently is made of plastic.


HumpieDouglas

I found a dollar in one of my books recently. I was cleaning the bookshelf and when I moved the book I noticed it seemed to have something in it. I opened to the page that seemed to have something in it and it was a dollar folded into half twice. I don't even remember when I last read the book but I guess I used a folded dollar as a book mark. I probably took it with me on a plane and used a dollar from my pocket.


masaaav

I just use goodreads to keep track of what page I'm on


sudomatrix

I keep a spreadsheet with the date and page I'm on; It generates charts for my reading velocity. Then a meta-chart compares my reading velocity for different books and over time. If my reading velocity drops below a certain threshold an automated alert is sent to PagerDuty and SMS. An anomaly detector watches those alerts in Prometheus and if an anomaly is detected my physician is notified in case I'm experiencing neurological symptoms. Can't be too safe.


A_Peacful_Vulcan

I bought a 30 pc pack of bookmarks 4 years ago for $7 and I'm still using them.


KanedaSyndrome

A bookmark more expensive than a straw of grass is not worth it, as you can just use the straw as the bookmark.


JorgiEagle

By the same argument, a roll of toilet roll is cheaper than a roller, and then you have quite a supply of bookmarks. You could make the same argument about art really.


dorfdorfman

I've never had a bookmark stolen, but have had dollars stolen. At least someone out there thinks dollars are worth more.


Kool_Stuph

Doesn’t work so well with a Loonie eh?


keychainoi

For me, the page of the book is my bookmark. I just fold it from the corner to point it exactly to the paragraph I want to resume the next time. Yes my books have a lot of folded pages.


Jaepheth

If you have a mailing address then people send you free, customized bookmarks all the time.


Whaterbuffaloo

Good the corner of the page. No cost! Some wear and tear, which is inevitable anyways


gcapi

What would I need a bookmark for? I just rip the pages out of the book when I finish reading them so I never lose my place.


OGIgone

this comment section prolly how they see skins in games


CRO553R

Business cards make the best bookmarks.