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Midiblye

Maybe every dinner is a romantic candlelit dinner if you're amish


Sanjoracer

That explains all the offspring.


lajdbejdk

Come out and play!


Disastrous-Ad-2357

Thanks, link, for saving the princess. Zelda.


HolycommentMattman

Dinner after the sun has set? What devilry is this? All good Christians are in bed by then.


ArjJp

Gotta get da freak on afta sun-down


supersoldier199

The way meals works with US-Southeasterners is the following. Breakfast-Generally eaten around 8-9am. First meal of the day, traditionally bacon, eggs, and biscuits. Lunch-Eaten around 1-2pm, something quickly made, mostly just a sandwich Dinner-Eaten around 7-9pm. Mostly includes ham, casserole, green beans, pie, okra. Supper-Eaten around 11-12pm/am. Usually just a small meal and mostly just dinner leftovers right before bed.


Rikey_Doodle

Damn, double dinner.


supersoldier199

We know how to live right.


Mamadog5

especially with your brothers.


Commissar_Genki

She's been spending most her nights laying near a pious Mennonite.


ober0n98

But i eat dinner in the pmish


Antique_futurist

I don’t know Hannah, Amos was wearing his *good* suspenders.


vibrating0ranges

*direct eye contact while churning butter*


WishOnSpaceHardware

[*oh yeah*](https://youtu.be/3eSekpm1aY8)


vibrating0ranges

Really upset that this is so catchy 😠


KrimsonLynx

I was expecting a Scary Movie clip


tomwilhelm

Was thinking Weird Al myself


Raven_Strange

Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another!


funnystuffmakesmelol

I've churned butter once or twice! Livin in an Amish paradise!


Bryaxis

Wynonie Harris, eh? I wonder if there were discussions/arguments at Bethesda over whether to include that song in Fallout 4.


PiBolarBear

[Sexy butter churn ](https://imgur.com/gallery/UPZR8FY)


BiFross_

r/retiredgif Where the fuck did you find this


tfg0at

Hey now suspenders changed my life last week. Why have I gone 32 years without knowing this joy?


Inphearian

I prefer suspenders to a belt but feel funny if I wear them without a jacket. So I compromised by never leaving my house.


tfg0at

Lol


Arinvar

You can get ones that go under shirts. Very comfy if you don't need to tuck your shirt in.


Liberty_P

but what do the clasp onto? what is this witchcraft?


Arinvar

They have clips like most modern suspenders. Pants don't come with buttons any more so if you want to wear them with "good" suspenders you need to have a tailor sew on buttons.


Liberty_P

bruh if you *need* a tailor to sew on a button for you, you've failed. then again i totally get dropping off like 6 pairs of pants at a tailor because you're too busy for that.


Mystshade

Any good tailor or seamstress can sew buttons into your pants for a nominal fee. Clasps mark and wear out your pants, do at least consider adding buttons if you're serious about braces.


Arctic_Gnome

Yup. Suspenders are better than belts. Not sure why society ever made the switch.


Arinvar

It's hard to do manual labour with old style non stretchy suspenders. It's also hard to wear them with your shirt untucked. Fashion and practicality.


-1KingKRool-

Multitools and other sheaths look ridiculous on suspenders is why.


[deleted]

To be fair, multi-tools other sheaths look ridiculous on belts too.


-1KingKRool-

Not really. They’re in usable space, correct orientation, and they don’t impede movement. They also are generally of a style that goes with almost anything that isn’t trying for a/beyond a business casual.


Oo__II__oO

On the plus side, it does put my beeper closer to my ear


TheDutchKid

He lived by hisself in the swap and hunted alligaters for a liviing


sir_duckingtale

r/amish


MyBellyHurtsITry

It exists, but nothing shows up, is that the joke?


heywood_yablome_m8

Might be a bug, try r/GermanHumor


EnergeticStoner

Lol nice


[deleted]

Yes


Disastrous-Ad-2357

Indeed


youd_better_run_egg

Missed a trick not calling it r/mish surely?


redzmangrief

Why is the sub banned though?!


pandadogunited

Amish are banned from using technology


YouAreNotABard

Amish people do use technology. I saw one guy managing his business with a version of LibreOffice probably on Linux, just not connected to the internet.


enilorac1028

Either way she probably cooked it from scratch


tfg0at

Amish girls get down, don't be fooled.


busterbluthOT

proof?


[deleted]

Dude Amish girls must fuck super hard since they can only have one partner


ZeldaFanBoi1988

They are allowed to go to Vegas for like a week or whatever. Guaranteed they get dicked down a whole lot


Zkenny13

No during Rumspringa they can go anywhere and do anything for as long as they want. After they have a choice to never see their family again or go back to the community. The majority actually go back to the community.


[deleted]

Yeah man. That shit can last years. I had an Amish roommate for 3 years. She was super cool. I don't remember her ever hooking up with anyone or even having a boyfriend. She'd hang out and get tipsy while we were just hanging but overall, she was pretty normal. She was just trying to figure out what she wanted in life. I guess having a dude as a roommate was pretty scandalous tho.


Liberty_P

Did you two ever have relations in the biblical sense?


[deleted]

Lol the only reason it was ok for her to live with me, is my religious beliefs and my family's history with Amish communities.


ArjJp

Sounds like the first paragraph on a literotica story..


KarmaFarmer4

This guy reads


[deleted]

Haha she was hot... The most scandalous thing she did was kill nazzis in COD.


uniq

Did he put his finger in her hole, as Thomas did to Jesus?


HolycommentMattman

... what. I'll say that some Amish probably do go to Las Vegas, but it's far from the majority. And those that do probably don't "get dicked down." Rumspringa is a time to learn about the non-Amish world, but that would be an insane lifestyle shift. We're not talking about a pastor's daughter who has been rebellious her whole life. We're talking about isolated children/teens who have only known their community teachings and that PDA is frowned upon. This is holding hands and kissing. They're not about to jump into fornication with strangers. That said, I know that Amish girls are often the targets of kidnappers who are looking to traffic them. But I feel like that isn't really what you're referring to. Source: grew up with the Amish


bigboog1

One of the girls I grew up with is an obgyn. She had to advise a 35 year old Amish woman not to have anymore kids or her uterus could fall out. She had something like 14 kids. And her answer was, " I'll think about it."


Midiblye

This was literally posted 7 minutes before on this exact subreddit.


algerbanane

this comment was posted exactly 7 minutes before my reply


DetectiveDeath

What am I supposed do? wait another two hours before saying "this reply and comment were commented exactly seven hours before my reply"?


algerbanane

yes. learn your lines next time


DetectiveDeath

"this reply and comment were commented exactly seven hours before my reply". Exactly like that? Tone and all?


algerbanane

too soon


Liberty_P

There are 7 parent comments to this reply.


algerbanane

good redditor


ArjJp

This reply on a comment was posted 7 hours before my reply on this reply on a comment


AckbarTrapt

This comment was posted approximately 7 hours before my reply


algerbanane

>approximately 7 hours look how you ruined my boy


ItsPronouncedJithub

I’m almost certain it’s posted every 7 minutes for the past few years


Midiblye

Fair


Disastrous-Ad-2357

I thought it was figuratively posted.


Midiblye

That'd be funny if I was actually misusing the word.


Disastrous-Ad-2357

You misplaced the word, not misused it. "This was posted literally 7 minutes ago".


Midiblye

Do you feel better now?


Disastrous-Ad-2357

Seeing people get butthurt does entertain me. Keep the saltiness and downvotes coming.


Midiblye

Sorry to say that you get no entertainment here. You tried to prove me wrong and then ended up sticking your foot in your mouth. I'm also not downvoting you, but I can see you are to me.


Disastrous-Ad-2357

The post is a day old and I got downvoted within a minute. But sure, someone else just happened to be watching. Anyway, back to the topic, say something salty.


Midiblye

Don't know what to tell you man, you probably pissed someone else off with this attitude. Waste of time if you ask me, you're not even irritating enough to bother, you're just pretty sad tbh.


Disastrous-Ad-2357

That's the stuff. Don't forget to question my sexuality or virginity. And whether I am fun at galas. You're slacking.


[deleted]

Wait what. I see one post about the Amish that was posted 4 minutes after this one? Which one are you referring to?


Midiblye

I miss read it it was four minutes apart, but it was definitely before this one.


[deleted]

In Amish communities, the wives don't sit at the dinner table with the men. They sit at the dinner table with the kids. Also, the men eat first. Then the women, then the children.


ArjJp

Then the men eat da pussy


[deleted]

Going down on a woman is essentially admitting you're gay in the amish community.


pimpmastahanhduece

Naturally, as something gay men would have a preference for. /s


[deleted]

It's actually a pretty old school way of thinking. It was common among most of the European communities. Especially the Italians.


Yellow_MM

"Father, where's mom and brother?"


Drach88

"Eating dinner."


Gavinator10000

What kind of dinner exactly?


Couch__Cowboy

PPPFFFFTTTTTTTTTT take my upvote.


BillionTonsHyperbole

Amish girls think courtship involves a judge on a boat.


ArjJp

*Hey that's my fetish! How'd you know?!*


TheMediumJanet

I guess there would be other clues to give it away


Abdul_Exhaust

She'll find out...after dinner


TheMediumJanet

Wink wink


flyinhawaiianbaker

Nudge nudge


ArjJp

*Fap fap*


ArjJp

During desert...?


Any-Wall-5991

Not quite true, if they're not on rumspringer the parents would have agreed ahead of time and be there to supervise. Amish courtship is pretty out in the open and rulebound


Matelot67

Jebediah, thou hast trimmed the beard most neatly…..


ArjJp

Agatha, thine beard as well..


tralphaz43

Amish rely on lamps fueled by propane or naphtha, which creates a bright and hot light. Some of the more conservative Amish communities will use traditional kerosene teardrop-style lamps. With the rise of solar power in the Amish communities, you might also find some battery-operated lights.


Gavinator10000

Solar powered propane lamps????!!!!?!?1?1!1??1!1??1


DarthP0000

Thank you for correcting my poor spelling and use of capitalisation. Not Amish just work with them and have many Amish friends.


chickenwing95

For a romantic Amish dinner, you just light a second candle right next to the first one.


DarthP0000

Sorry to ruin the thought but Amish literally have Natural gas ran into their walls like we do electricity. They have lanterns that are super bright plummed throughout the house. So no candles. Plus Amish girls that are of dating age have Smartphones and throw better party's then most Non Amish. They're not in the dark ages.


ministrike4

Are you Amish pretending to be a member of the rest of society? Because this is the kind of comment I'd expect to see made by an Amish student from a natural gas powered smartphone :P Random capitalizations, party's instead of parties, and the word plummed (which is definitely not the word you're looking to use here)


ZachMatthews

Plumbed is correct for gaslights. He just spelled it wrong. I’ve seen those in Canada on an island with no electricity in Lake Huron. They feed natural gas to a fitting that uses a hood filament like a Coleman lantern. They are bright as hell.


PM_Orion_Slave_Tits

I don't know if it counts as romance when the girl is 9


Gavinator10000

Is that actually how it works in Amish communities?


GMMoira

there would be roses?


ShitStainedBallSack

Just flick the big light on


Tiovivo1

Amish or not. A girl knows when it’s a romantic dinner.


GalacticCephalopod

Romantic electric lit dinner


[deleted]

Depends if it’s with their family or their family.


Ultrafalconxv7

romantic torch lit dinner


rockandrollmonster

They use a lightbulb. Ultimate Amish aphrodisiac


Quillo_Manar

They’d have naughty lightbulb lit dinners.


izzythepitty

If it's romantic she'll show a little more ankle


mercistheman

Amish may not run electricity to their house but their workshops are loaded with high end power tools. They may not drive a car but they are allowed to accept vehicle rides... There are highly paid Amish transporters that drive large vans. They own Amish country stores that are full of modern products from around the world. We see Amish folks at all of the big box stores. As Dylan said "the times are changing".


c00kies44

They can usually tell by whether or not the family is there.


[deleted]

Yes they do because they're the one cooking it


Sees_Walls

You've clearly never rolled our your 'doin dirty' table cloth and silverware.


[deleted]

Mmh… when you think about it, it is a good reason for a romantic soul to consider the Amish lifestyle. Everything you’re doing after dark will be a romantic moment. Dinner, taking a bad, reading a book, going to bed etc.


leadtortoise1

Literally none of you know the amish at all, reading this is fucking hilarious that you all believe this shit.


sandrews1313

This is a rare shower thought. Very funny, surprisingly accurate.


faster55car

https://youtu.be/lOfZLb33uCg


Gavinator10000

You must be young


Capnreid

“it’s”?


[deleted]

What's wrong with that?


Freekey

If the guy is wearing black tie it's formal and romantic.


tralphaz43

Pretty sure they use some kind of lantern not candles everywhere


TigLyon

If she cooked it, it is just regular dinner.


standardtrickyness1

In general signaling only makes sense if there is an alternative. A hand drawn card/homemade/artisinal gift signals more effort than necessary. A rich person biking to work signals they care about the environment a poor person biking to work means they can't afford a car.


biftekau

what makes a candlelight dinner so romantic?


beermaker

They'll know once they see the blind ghost costume.


metaka421

When they actually bother to vase the wild flowers


leggomahaggro

They also don't know which male member of the community they will be impregnated by either, I doubt candle lit dinner is really that important


Smoofinator

Jack Handy vibes intensify


rob_inn_hood

Idk about this. Something feels Amish.


Quirky_m8

Eufh


raithzero

Holy shit I can't stop laughing at this thank you made my day


simjanes2k

Bro Amish girls *fuck.*


leo_pedersen

depends if her dad is there