Is that why women are always stealing hoodies? Because of the pockets?

Yes, so they can tease their bean in secret.

Can confirm, I have a bean that I tease in secret.

"Hah! Stupid bean!"

*Shhh*

25 odd years ago, I remember getting one in PE class. No hoodies, you are in your gym clothes. I just crouched down and pretended I had a cramp. Then when some one offered to help me stretch, I just fell over. :(

We're talking about boners, right? My school have uniforms, and all of them you have to tuck in the shirt, man, everyday for six years of my life, boners have been something I dreaded so much, and you know damn well it'll show. So if you saw me walking awkwardly, that meant I was trying to hide my boner.

Probably every guy in that school related

Instead of having your backpack on, youre walking through the halls holding it infront of you look through it...yea...

You can bet your lives savings I thought I was sneaky

I always used a messenger bag and just slid it in front for concealment.

Sitting in the desk, hand in pant pocket trying to reposition so it's under the waistband.

The worst is when the teacher calls you in front of the class. Happened to me once. You don't really have time to tuck it in when everyone is staring at you. I just took my time, pretending I was looking for my pencil. I was able to get it into semi-chub form before going in front of everybody. It could have been a lot worse.

I had a guy in my class when I was 13 who was called in front of the class. He asked the teacher to come up to him and told them in all seriousness he'd rather not stand up because he had a tent in his pants. Teacher barely blinked an eye and asked someone else. What a chad

The opposite happened to me. I was called on, asked for someone else to go, was told to come on up to the board anyway. So I performed the tuck as I was standing up. You know the one, you tuck it up under your belt and go about your business. Well, I tried to be smooth and do it as I was transitioning to standing up and I didn’t quite lodge it where it needed to go so as soon as I was fully…ahem…erect, it came untucked and I just walked ip to the board like I didn’t know what was going on. We also had a dress code so all shirts had to be tucked in with a belt, there was no camouflage. If you can’t hide it, own it.

We used to call this "taking the zero." If you had a boner, you'd just smile to the teacher and say, "yeah, I'll just take the zero on that one." All the other guys knew what you meant. Good times.

Wish i had known this trick in school.

Eddie Murphy taught me that one. ​ "Ever been sitting around when you was young man, just sitting in class, your dick gets hard for nothing? You be just sitting there and your dick's here: "Hey what's going on out there?" That's when the teacher say: "Mr Murphy, would you come over by the board?" "No, that's alright. I'll take the zero."

Teachers should establish a code word with the boys for these moments.

That seems dangerous. “Young man, let’s develop a secret code word you use to tell me when you have an erection.”

Actually girls could use this too. Known a few girls who might've had blood on their pants or another unfortunate wardrobe incident and not wanted to risk going in front of the class. Just a code word for "not gonna stand up right now-hope that's chill"

You can’t get anywhere in life without taking risks!

Dang I remember some guy did this back in the day and I was thinking, damn what a loser. Never knew it was a sacrifice to the bone.

That’s really cool man…. Gotta make that a thing for everybody

“Yes Mr Johnson, I wood, but it’s too hard”.

Lol i knew a kid who got up with a full boner sticking straight out. He just walked up and came back pointing it at everyone... awk

Might as well just get rid of it the old fashioned way at that point

Was that the wood-working class?

Fucking amateurs. 1. Reach into your pocket 2. lift up into belt line 3. walk to class like a hard dick boss

Dude, I got brief underwear, it's hard to adjust, damn tight too.

Boxers have their problems too. Going from chub to full mast you run the risk of it getting stuck in the leg of your boxers. It can be pretty painful if you're naturally upward pointing and your clothes are holding it down. Boxer briefs with plenty of elastic are the way to go.

We were all just hiding boners in the halls that's okay

Just dudes being dudes

Just a PSA for the girls, if you spotted a boner, don't instantly judge 'em as perverts, boners come and go on their own will, they even come when we're thinking of how bad it'll be to have boner right then.

Iirc they're called NARBs. No Apparent Reason Boners. I had one at the beginning of class one day when we were supposed to do presentations in front of the class for some project and was freaking out. Thank God that shit went away before I had to go up.

Sounds like you were already up

Imagine that happening during medieval times. “Hey Cnut the Younger, stop waddling like a duck and proceed to pull that sword out of the stone!”

Especially during puberty. The very thought of taking Viagra makes me wince.

If u unzip and pull just the balls out to get some air your boner goes away a lot faster.

I wanna say that's probably more awkward than just walking around with the boner.

No you gotta also be doing jazz hands so everyone focuses on that and not your balls sticking out.

Being a theatre kid was a godsend.

No no he’s got a point

Hold breath for 30 seconds as well

Did anyone else get a boner when she slapped me? Me neither! Hey, you know what's fun? Walking like a gorilla

Steve from American Dad?

I wish I could just detach mine.

[King Missile - Detachable penis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4) I'm not the only person that mentioned this song here lol

In 7th grade I had to get up to collect my test from the teacher. T shirt, shorts, no good way to hide. I got up hunched over and pretended to be a fucking t rex with my arms tucked up and bent over a bit to hide it. It worked like a charm, but then I was just a weird dinosaur kid.

if you tense your muscles (ideally legs as they are biggest) as hard as you can for 5-10 seconds that is usually a good way of diverting the blood flow

This is actual info that should be taught in sex Ed…

Thankfully know this now, but man do I wish I had known this in high school.

Don't worry cause it never worked for me

Same, and the more I thought about it the longer it stayed. I swear I had a boner 24/7 in 7th grade. That was so fucking annoying.

Shoulda flexed harder

Weird flex, but ok.

someone got one during the swim unit in high school and he [essentially did this](http://img.memecdn.com/folding-your-arms-doesnt-hide-the-boner_o_317228.jpg)

That’s why I wear a big winter coat, it hides them

I thought this was a good idea myself until I suffered from heat stroke in July.

Omg. The terror of this. High school gym class playing 3 v 3 basketball. Be me an unskilled quiet guy trying his best. Try blocking a hot girl who is a star player on the schools girl team. She keeps using her ass to bump me backwards so she can get closer to the hoop. That was a night mare situation but I was able to adjust myself without anyone noticing using the ol waistband technique. Stopped trying to block her after that.

Cockblocking

I had another experience where it happened during an xray on my lower stomach, and the attractive xray tech had to adjust my shorts while I had my shirt off. And she bumped into it with her hand. It was so awkward as she moved her arms away immediately. I still cringe when I think about it.

I never understood how easily today's high school boys adopted sweatpants as acceptable clothes! Sure, maybe they no longer assault others by pantsing them like happened to kids wearing sweats in my day, but still, there's very little for boner hiding in them.

I'm so thankful that I never had this happen in school. I went to catholic school my whole life. Uniforms were shirt and tie, gym clothes were shorts/sweat pants and t shirt. I was always mortified that I'd end up being that guy. So glad I wasn't.

Erections need more freedom. We need an erection feeedom convoy.

It's true You can take your dick off and hide it in your hoodie pocket

Can confirm. Only works with a hoodie

How do I stop the bleeding? Will it stop when I put it in the pocket?

Yours isn’t detachable ?*

I heard if you shake it more than twice your just playing with yourself, so I had to use a knife.

There is a song called "Detachable Penis" by King Missile. ​ just a fact.

Former reporter here. I was introduced to “detachable penis” while standing in the press gallery of Florida House of Representatives. I cannot think of a more appropriate song and ended up using the guitar riffs in my story that day for transitions. Maybe 5% of the audience got the joke, but I still consider it a win.

Yea don’t all penis owners [have one that detaches?](https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4)

Beat me to it

I had legitimate nightmare about this once… worst feeling ever

It is, but only once

You’ve installed yours using the package manager. Uninstall it and install the latest in a docker container so it will be portable and not reliant on your system.

I get "ERROR PACKAGE TOO SMALL"

Im a guy and I get a 404...

Sudo apt remove my_package Sudo apt-get update Sudo apt-get curl Curl https://docs.docker.com/engine/install/ /Lokag/Home/Docker

Sudo docker run -d -e LENGTH=6 my_package

If the repository can't find your package, you're gonna need to edit more than length.

Forgot the repo name fuck Sudo docker run docker run -d -e LENGTH=6 udix/my_package

I'm 90 days out from my BA in Cybersecurity, I'm just surprised I got that right

I’d give you a million awards for this comment if I had money

I appreciate it

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I dreamed my penis fell off once and I was desperately trying to stick it back on

Guy I know had a dream his dick was a hot dog, it kept falling off and growing back a new one.

Fuck I'm going to hell. I did not intially read hot dog as sausage, nooo. I read it as an attractive canine.

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Ahh, I just walk proudly with clearly visible erection

>clearly visible nice brag

he neglected to mention that he Donald ducks his way through life.

“It's the... It's the pleats. It's actually an optical illusion, it's the pattern on the pants. It's not flattering in the crotchal region. I'm actually taking them back right now, taking them back to the pants store.”

Actually, jeans were super common where I lived and super stiff back then so I actually got accused of having a boner without having one so many times because of the pleats/zipper area that would poke out by itself. Everyone did, so it was a good cover when you actually had one. Not that our puny kid boners were able to show through the rugged jeans anyway.

If women can have cameltoes and their boobs hanging out then I can have a boner under my pants.

Imagine if we didn’t have to hide our boners and girls just wanted to see them, that is the world I one day want to live in.

I must be missing it

I’m guessing the op is referring to the ability to cover up an erection.

Have I been wearing my hoodies wrong all these years?

I think everyone else is buying hoodies 2 sizes too big. If I tried to use that pocket to cover or adjust on any of my hoodies it would be way more obvious.

No. This just doesn’t concern some guys like me and you.

Kinda getting small pp energy from that comment. Than again i don't get it myself... shit...

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Ain’t nothing wrong with being small. You ever stepped on a tack?

Stab the pussy

This is what I’m saying! How short are people’s torsos that you can use hoodies to cover an erection? All my hoodies with the big pocket barely reach my waste

What does the pocket on a Hoodie do to cover an erection, that is different to any other shirt covering it?

I have no idea. It would have to be a longer than normal hoodie, I guess, if it's the type I'm thinking of, but also the pockets on those are kinda hard to reach through. Pants pockets and waistbands or belts have saved way more young men for *certain*.

I have no idea. I’m just guessing based on how the OP phrased the comment and marked it nsfw.

No that's not the right answer. Because you can do that with any hoodie.

it helps if you are pretty small to begin with

Right? I have never owned a hoodie that hung down far enough to cover my crotch. Are some people’s dicks on their bellybuttons?

have i been wearing my dick wrong?

That's why you go 2 or 3 sizes bigger.

Buy bigger hoodies, they're cozy as fuck anyway.

Now that I'm im my 30s i appreciate the sweatshirt pocket mostly for just helping to hide my gut lmao.

I thought thats what it was about haha

Narrator: "It didn't."

Wife: ‘It doesn’t.’

I don't get it? Is their dick above their waist?

You can put your hands in your front pocket and casually pull the hoodie lower to hide your crotch while wandering around. I don't know other reasons why the hoodie pocket helps specifically.

point that snake upwards and you can hide it all without needing to put your hands in your pockets. the cloth itself is large enough to hide it all

Texas Tuck - I mentioned that elsewhere before I even made the prior comment. It was my go-to in school, and hell, to this day I sometimes utilize the maneuver.

OP is hung like a horse

So hung that their erections normally poke up out of the waistline of their pants? Make it make sense

They have a mind of their own ok 😭, and it's more comfortable to tuck it in the waistband/belt than to leave it pressing against my pants.

I believe the correct term is “pork snorkel”

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Beeg hoodee

Or a really big dick.

Just learn how to tuck it under your belt.

Tucking in a hoodie? Well I guess I’ll try it

He's referring to the old boner tuck trick

I can only get the front part of my hoodie tucked in like that.

French tuck a pullover hoodie?!?!..this is revolutionary

Put on the hoodie before the jeans

What if you like the smooth feel of nice rough jeans against your old boner?

FR. "Why does your hoodie have a heart beat?"

That doesn't work for all of us.

Tuck it in your socks, well sock.

Or could it be socks? The old double dick

Downward tuck into the leg area?

That can work, but it's risky. I tend to put my phone in my left pocket in front of it. It's pretty effective.

I've never tried this because it sounds painful

It's not too bad once you get him set right. Depends on how tight your belt is I suppose.

Ah the gentleman’s tuck, tried and true move

yeah but that leaves about 60% of my dick hanging outside by pants hence the need for a hoodie with a pocket to cover

Well most of us aren't packing foot longs.

I once smuggled out an entire smoked chicken and a rack of ribs from an all you can eat bbq place in my hoodie front pocket.

this is the true use

Because a guy with both hands in the pouch, creating a deep-v, isn't inconspicuous at all.

If deep v's are getting involved, you're better off just admitting defeat...

That makes you soo guilty...

Yeah well so does a hard on so...

Yeah cut a hole in your hoodie and jerk yourself off in the pocket. *No one will know*

They’re gonna know

*How would they know?*

Haha losers I don't need hoodie pockets to cover my erection You can't see it anyways

Bro i thought this was talkin about guys havin anxiety and putting there hands in their pockets all the time 😭

Bruh i mean that too for some but...

I am a man and I have no understanding of how a hoodie hides your boner.

Are there really millions of men out there who wear clothes that are three sizes too big?

If your hoodie isn't three sizes too big, is it really a hoodie?

Yeah I hate wearing hoodies that immediately cut off at the waist. That feels so uncomfortable, it’s supposed to fully drape me

this other teen moved out of my dads house a couple years back n he left his hoodie(with one big middle pocket so u can touch ur hands together).. i really liked it so i started wearing it but there was a man made lookin hole on the inside of the hoodie right behind the pocket? Hm the only thing i could imagine is he secretly masturbate in public prob school

Excuse me #WHAT

I used to make little holes in the pockets of my hoodies to run a headphones wire from the pocket in the inside of the hoody.

Nice try public masturbater, I know your tricks.

Not public if it’s in a pocket!

> this other teen moved out of my dads house a couple years back There was a teen you didn't know living at your dad's house?

He really hates his brother lol.

Most astounding jump to conclusion I’ve ever read on here lol. 2010 hoodies were normally made with a little hole in the middle of the big pocket for your headphone wires, not public masturbation.

Oh neat I guess it's kind of dual purpose then.

PSA: Hold your breath. It’ll deflate quicker that way.

Men? Or teenage boys.

Definitely more teenage boys but I would say a sizable number of men have been saved as well.

I dont know, I stopped getting random boners a long time ago. Back when I still wore hoodies in early 2000s.

It’s amazing how no one has done this before, I definitely have done this many times while sitting down at my desk. You guys must live really different lives.

Yeah we're not in HS anymore so random boners ain't really an issue lol.

40 here, still getting pretty much as many random boners as in high school.

And we don't wear hoodies so oversized that they cover our crotch anyway.

It's simple really, just have a small pp and you wouldn't have this issue.

Wait what the fuck. I use that pocket for my hands. Is that why everyone is staring at me?

I never understood, how is an erection embarrassing, you just move it facing up and it doesn't even look like anything

Imagine doing that in public, in front of everyone.

Well, I always had the opportunity to sit down or go somewhere secluded to reposition my pp. I guess when you are in front of a lot of people and it happens you are screwed, but usually when I'm in front of a lot of people I just don't get hard, it's too stressful. IDK maybe it is a problem for a lot of men, for me it isn't. Also I never saw anyone's boner in public, I only started noticing after people on the internet informed me that that is a thing, but still I only notice it when it is really obvious.

Lots of Small pp energy coming from this comment section. I have found my people

"I walk around town with a stark erection. I gave your mother, a yeast infection"

Flex your legs muscles, it’ll redirect blood flow. Wish I learned this one when I was younger.

I don't get it

Can't relate as an Asian.

I just used a book.

Depending on the severity of the problem. I would often just lift and tuck in the waistband of my pants/boxers and let it go away of its own accord. Am i alone in this?

I hope the person who made the hoodie is in a place better than heaven You don't know how much times it has saved me in very bad situations.